Thank you

[TheBullRDR]

Thanks everyone,
   All good advice.  To answer a few questions for SouthernX, I get the feeling that she's as cautious as I am.  While she is pleasant to talk to and we have conversed several times, she is reluctant to give out personal information.  Now, by personal I mean home address, took a while to get the phone number, etc...  I have her email (no big deal) but it seems like there is either too much caution, or something sneaky is going on. I haven't had these doubts until recently.  We have been talking for a while, but now it is either time to move forward, as in Skype and the like, or walk away.  There is only so much one can say though emails.  A real conversation on a regular basis will let me know much more about her personality.  I mean, I'm not just trying to see if she's a scammer, but I'm trying to discern if she is someone I could spend the rest of my life with.  I have decided that I'm going to be much more pressing in the few days to come about some information.  She is talking about us living our lives together, but wont tell me her home address?  To me that is a bit strange.  She does want me to come over, but isn't pushy about it.  Just mentions that she hopes we meet in person someday soon about every third email.  Like I said in earlier posts, I don't get the feeling that she is trying to scam me, but I do get the feeling that something is wrong.  My curious mind wont let it go since it has latched on to it in the last few days.  I simply want to know what it is.  A cultural thing?  Overly cautious?  Embarrassed about something?  Hiding something? I simply don't know, and that's what drives me nuts.  To be honest, I'm a hairs breath from walking away from it.  My curiosity has me in its grip now though.  I hate not knowing the answer to something. 

Another thing that bugs me is the pictures.  While she's attractive, I have asked for shots of just every day life.  That is to say, not professionally done.  Her in the kitchen with mom, or whatever.  An obvious home photo.  That request was ignored.  Instead I got another professionally done shot.
   
I took your advice and googled her name and went through the 100's of pictures there.  Nothing.  That's good.  Like I said, her being a scammer just doesn't fit.  She would have made her move to part me from my money by now.  Still, something if off. 

I can hear you all salivating and ready to jump on me for being suspicious.  Trust me, I don't let that show in my letters.  I find ways to ask questions so they seem less pushy.  For example "Give me your phone number or I'll assume you're a scam artist" becomes "I would love to read your letters, hearing your voice in my head.  Could I call you so I can hear you?"  So don't think I'm getting eaten up by that. 

Anyway, I appreciate the advice.  I should have an email from her by 10am tomorrow so I'll let you all know what I find out. 

[AC]

I would not push so hard or be so suspicious.  Sounds like you might be letting your mind get the best of you.
Poster Faux Pas said he never skyped with his wife til after meeting.  That's how it always was before.  Just handle it softly perhaps.  Are you inspired by her photos and letters?  Feel any romantic connection?  Build on that. 

[Faux Pas]

Thanks everyone,
   All good advice.  To answer a few questions for SouthernX, I get the feeling that she's as cautious as I am.  While she is pleasant to talk to and we have conversed several times, she is reluctant to give out personal information. Now, by personal I mean home address, took a while to get the phone number, etc...  I have her email (no big deal) but it seems like there is either too much caution, or something sneaky is going on. I haven't had these doubts until recently.  We have been talking for a while, but now it is either time to move forward, as in Skype and the like, or walk away. There is only so much one can say though emails.  A real conversation on a regular basis will let me know much more about her personality. I mean, I'm not just trying to see if she's a scammer, but I'm trying to discern if she is someone I could spend the rest of my life with.  I have decided that I'm going to be much more pressing in the few days to come about some information.  She is talking about us living our lives together, but wont tell me her home address?  To me that is a bit strange.  She does want me to come over, but isn't pushy about it.  Just mentions that she hopes we meet in person someday soon about every third email.  Like I said in earlier posts, I don't get the feeling that she is trying to scam me, but I do get the feeling that something is wrong.  My curious mind wont let it go since it has latched on to it in the last few days.  I simply want to know what it is.  A cultural thing?  Overly cautious?  Embarrassed about something?  Hiding something? I simply don't know, and that's what drives me nuts.  To be honest, I'm a hairs breath from walking away from it.  My curiosity has me in its grip now though.  I hate not knowing the answer to something. 

Another thing that bugs me is the pictures.  While she's attractive, I have asked for shots of just every day life.  That is to say, not professionally done.  Her in the kitchen with mom, or whatever.  An obvious home photo.  That request was ignored.  Instead I got another professionally done shot.
   
I took your advice and googled her name and went through the 100's of pictures there.  Nothing.  That's good.  Like I said, her being a scammer just doesn't fit.  She would have made her move to part me from my money by now.  Still, something if off. 

I can hear you all salivating and ready to jump on me for being suspicious.  Trust me, I don't let that show in my letters.  I find ways to ask questions so they seem less pushy.  For example "Give me your phone number or I'll assume you're a scam artist" becomes "I would love to read your letters, hearing your voice in my head.  Could I call you so I can hear you?"  So don't think I'm getting eaten up by that. 

Anyway, I appreciate the advice.  I should have an email from her by 10am tomorrow so I'll let you all know what I find out.

Dude, you're getting played. The request for money will come eventually, if you're patient enough keep swapping those dreamy emails for another 3-6 months. She's patient because she has another 150 bullRDR's on her email list.

I'd say there's a 95% certainty that this woman isn't even real, probably not even a women. Yeah I know, she sounds so sexy on the phone even though you can't understand her and is such a knock out in those photos. Here's the deal, she is either not interested in you or she/he is setting you up for the scam. No FSU woman is "that" cautious. What does she have to be cautious of?

Sincere FSUW are on those sites to get to know and meet men from other countries. When one starts putting up road blocks or impediments to a natural progressing relationship, something is wrong. Forget him/her and find a sincere woman.

I know it's not what you want to hear but, you're spinning your wheels on this'n

[Hammer2722]

I too believe that you are being played. If the woman was truly interested in you, she would make every effort to video chat with you to verify that you are real as well. think about it for a moment. Even if she has no pc I'm sure she has to have at least one friend with access to a pc. She's supposedly a vet right? How does she keep files for her clients/ patients? On paper? In this day and age? 
Belarus is a very nice country. I was there last Summer with my girl visiting her family and friends. You will need a visa and an official invitation to go there. Your on the right track not deciding to go until you verify this lady is real.

[Patagonie]

This is where the writing chase shows his limits.
Writing is not a strategy. Chasing some photos is ..... a portfolio with no certainty.
The uncertainty is linked to the lack of strategy.
If you are linear in your search, as writing could be broken any time (uncertainty factor), you are loosing the control. You bet on a binary number zero or one, true or false, yes or no, rather than using numerals for your benefit
Men don't want to test women because they are too afraid to loose them. But the truth is likely to stand out when you are ready to risk a woman.
What is the stake of the risk ? Nothing if she doesn't exist in fact .....

[Patagonie]

You have created a treasure value around her which is only a wild imaging of your own desire.
But your desire had never been confronted to the reality of the dating matrix,
This value is only hanging from many conditionals.
 

[Patagonie]

That is the emotional life of writers in the european eastern dating world, as their desire exacerbates their suspicion the poison comes over their blood and the confusion spreads in their mind.
Amen

[Faux Pas]

That is the emotional life of writers in the european eastern dating world, as their desire exacerbates their suspicion the poison comes over their blood and the confusion spreads in their mind.
Amen

Is that the same thing as thinking with the little head rather than the big one? 

[BillyB]

I have asked for shots of just every day life.  That is to say, not professionally done.  Her in the kitchen with mom, or whatever.  An obvious home photo.  That request was ignored.  Instead I got another professionally done shot.
   

The more we talk to you, the more information you submit. If she's really into you and wants you to visit, she most likely would have honored your requests. I'm not going to predict whether she's a scammer or not. What I do know is you have lots of doubt. The woman may be a wonderful wife for someone but you need to find a woman that gives you no doubt that she's into you to the point you can trust her. If you're not making progress towards a meeting, don't waste your time or hers.

[TheBullRDR]

All good points, guys. 
   As I said before, I was going to be a little more demanding of information and the like in my emails.  Well, I sent another one in which I was just that.  All information was forth coming and I did get an "everyday" picture.  Perhaps I was asking in a way that she didn't quite understand before?  Language barrier and all.  In that last email I laid out bullet points of what I wanted, or should I say needed, and I got everything.   

The skype thing does continue to bother me though.  But, as one of you guys said, you never Skyped with your wife either.  So let's not chalk that up to all bad just yet. 

And as far as thinking with the little head or building some romantic idea of a fairy tale in my head based on her picture, I assure you that isn't the case.  While, yes, I do think she is attractive, she is not some super model quality woman that would make traffic stop.  She's cute, but not eye bulging gorgeous.  My interest in her is more to the fact that we share many common interests on life style, values, wants for the future, etc etc.  A laundry list of things has me attracted to her vs. her looks.  The reason for my patience in finding out if she is, in fact, real is that if she is, she has real potential.  If she's not, it cost me nothing but a little time.  Time that I am still talking with others.  So I'm out nothing. 

As far as progress towards a meeting, she does want me to visit.  In my last letter I asked her if there was a closer airport to her home town than Minsk.  Apparently, there isn't one, or not one worth using.  That is a 4 hour trip by car from Minsk to her home town, so in this email I asked her to tell me the best way to get from Minsk to her, with options and prices (ballpark) included.  This should be a good test to see how  keen she is on the trip.  If I get back a bunch of ways and their cost, she did put in some effort.  If I get back, "you figure it out" well, she isn't that worried about it. A small point, I know, but it would show a little effort on her part, don't you think? 

  Basically, what I'm saying is that the email received today was a step in the right direction.  I think it merits further time.

I did ask, in the email I just sent, about her computers at work, and if it would be possible to talk there, if only for a few minutes.  We will see what answers I get about that. 

So, for those of you that think I'm getting played, perhaps I am.  I haven't ruled it out yet.  But I think, at this point, it deserves further study.  For those of you that think I'm being to cautious, well, this is the rest of my life we're talking about here.  Let's be sure before we bail off into something.  The gathering of information is paramount in all endeavors. 

Party girl concerns have been pretty much laid to rest.  Unless, of course, the party scene moves on a different time schedule over there than it does here.  I call her between 9 an 10 pm on week nights, and between 10 and 11 on weekends. If she's on the phone with me until midnight, she probably isn't out partying. 

All in all, I don't feel as though I should run away at this point, especially after the last email in which I got everything I asked for.  Time will tell. 

As always, I appreciate all the advice and the points raised.  You guys are a big help. 

[Patagonie]

All good points, guys. 
   As I said before, I was going to be a little more demanding of information and the like in my emails.  Well, I sent another one in which I was just that.  All information was forth coming and I did get an "everyday" picture.  Perhaps I was asking in a way that she didn't quite understand before?  Language barrier and all.  In that last email I laid out bullet points of what I wanted, or should I say needed, and I got everything.   

The skype thing does continue to bother me though.  But, as one of you guys said, you never Skyped with your wife either.  So let's not chalk that up to all bad just yet. 

And as far as thinking with the little head or building some romantic idea of a fairy tale in my head based on her picture, I assure you that isn't the case.  While, yes, I do think she is attractive, she is not some super model quality woman that would make traffic stop.  She's cute, but not eye bulging gorgeous.  My interest in her is more to the fact that we share many common interests on life style, values, wants for the future, etc etc.  A laundry list of things has me attracted to her vs. her looks.  The reason for my patience in finding out if she is, in fact, real is that if she is, she has real potential.  If she's not, it cost me nothing but a little time.  Time that I am still talking with others.  So I'm out nothing. 

As far as progress towards a meeting, she does want me to visit.  In my last letter I asked her if there was a closer airport to her home town than Minsk.  Apparently, there isn't one, or not one worth using.  That is a 4 hour trip by car from Minsk to her home town, so in this email I asked her to tell me the best way to get from Minsk to her, with options and prices (ballpark) included.  This should be a good test to see how  keen she is on the trip.  If I get back a bunch of ways and their cost, she did put in some effort.  If I get back, "you figure it out" well, she isn't that worried about it. A small point, I know, but it would show a little effort on her part, don't you think? 

  Basically, what I'm saying is that the email received today was a step in the right direction.  I think it merits further time.

I did ask, in the email I just sent, about her computers at work, and if it would be possible to talk there, if only for a few minutes.  We will see what answers I get about that. 

So, for those of you that think I'm getting played, perhaps I am.  I haven't ruled it out yet.  But I think, at this point, it deserves further study.  For those of you that think I'm being to cautious, well, this is the rest of my life we're talking about here.  Let's be sure before we bail off into something.  The gathering of information is paramount in all endeavors. 

Party girl concerns have been pretty much laid to rest.  Unless, of course, the party scene moves on a different time schedule over there than it does here.  I call her between 9 an 10 pm on week nights, and between 10 and 11 on weekends. If she's on the phone with me until midnight, she probably isn't out partying. 

All in all, I don't feel as though I should run away at this point, especially after the last email in which I got everything I asked for.  Time will tell. 

As always, I appreciate all the advice and the points raised.  You guys are a big help.

I never skyped with girls and i met probably 50, i skyped only with my wife but we were commited at this time.
VERY IMPORTANT : YOU MET HER AT HER HOME.
It is not time to travel, it is not time to beach her ass, it is time to search a wife, this has nothing to do with tourism.
You are the boss, you have a pair, you pay, so you go where YOU want to go. NOT HER.

And if you keep the control all will be fine. Don't start to make discussion about this, you go and you arrive in her city.

Just a question ? Where is this city in Bielarus, had she lived before in Bielarus and where ?

[Patagonie]

The real men book the flight, pay the bus and the appartment. And they do it by themselves.

You don't involve her with anything about money. NEVER.

When you will fuck her perhaps, of when she will be your wife, but before NO.

[TheBullRDR]

I never asked her to pay for anything.  I asked her to get me the information on it.  As in, tell me what it costs for various modes of transportation from Minsk to  Kalinkovishi. As I don't have an international drivers licence, I'm pretty sure I can't rent a car.  So, I am going to have to find some other way to travel to her.  I asked for information on that. 

[Patagonie]

"This should be a good test to see how  keen she is on the trip.  If I get back a bunch of ways and their cost, she did put in some effort.  If I get back, "you figure it out" well, she isn't that worried about it. A small point, I know, but it would show a little effort on her part, don't you think?"
quoted

I don't know if you have got it, but for the moment you are a virtual man. So russian women are really reluctant to engage time or feelings to such men, especially if they are not new in the international dating market.
Why a russian woman should smile to a guy she don't know ? No way, that is not the culture.
Why a russian woman should start to shave her pussy for a guy for the moment is just bla bla on internet ? No way.
It is always nice that a woman shows some worry and do some effort in a relationship, that is a basis for sucessful relationships in the real world, but for the moment your status is NON ACTIVE, you belong to the virtual world.
Your plans and your calculations are yours, not her. Start to show her your non refundable ticket and she will perhaps start to put some effort in this endeavor.
It is why she is not so much prone to satisfy any of your expectations (photos, skype), i am not so surprised.
You win an european eastern heart by your actions, not by your bla bla. So barely you are doing bla bla and ask her to make actions !
This is why the writing logic which tries to figure out the reality of the woman is a dead end  as the woman try to figure out the reality of the man before giving more engagment.

[TheBullRDR]

um....what?
  If I get your meaning, I should go ahead and commit to flying around the world to see a person I can't even verify if they exists?  And as soon as I do that, maybe she'l let me know she exists?  That doesn't make any sense. 
   And you keep talking about her pussy and sex etc.  Stop it.  Her and I have never even broached any kind of physical talk.  Don't be a child.

[AC]

I never asked her to pay for anything.  I asked her to get me the information on it.  As in, tell me what it costs for various modes of transportation from Minsk to  Kalinkovishi. As I don't have an international drivers licence, I'm pretty sure I can't rent a car.  So, I am going to have to find some other way to travel to her.  I asked for information on that.

Sounds like she's possibly a great gal.  Better to remain positive about her then be suspicious IMO.  Have you thought of asking her if she could get a day off from work either on a Monday or a Friday and spend the weekend with you in Minsk?  You could book an apartment with two bedrooms or book separate hotel rooms if that's what she wants so that she feels comfortable.  Then if you hit if off with her you could go with her to her hometown, since it's so far away.

Only you know what's really going on here and you are the guy who will make the right choices based on that.

[jone]

Mr. Bull,

A quick note:  Our friend Patagonie is from France.  English is not his native language and the nuances sometimes are not what he understands them to be.  But I have known his insights to be spot on for the last three years I have read his posts.

[sleepycat]

Why a russian woman should start to shave her pussy for a guy for the moment is just bla bla on internet ? No way.

Too much political discussions lately let's change tack and do some x rated discussion. 
Is it a common thing for a FSUW to go bald downstairs?

[JayH]

Too much political discussions lately let's change tack and do some x rated discussion. 
Is it a common thing for a FSUW to go bald downstairs?

Never met one that was not!!

[AC]

Too much political discussions lately let's change tack and do some x rated discussion. 
Is it a common thing for a FSUW to go bald downstairs?

Suddenly I'm in the mood for a slurpie.  I guess I'll be heading to 7-11.   

[TheBullRDR]

Hey AC,  yes I was thinking along those lines, but that is a subject yet to be discussed at length.  this is just planning ahead on my part, at this point.  Just getting a feel, ahead of time, for what the main gist of travel would entail.  I would like for her to come stay for a long weekend in Minsk, myself.  Mainly because if I'm already there, I want to see as much of the country as possible as well.  This can all be covered with her once a few of these other details are sorted out. 

I do agree that I should proceed as though nothing is amiss.  that is what I'm planning to do.  I'll either get the info I want, or I wont.  I'll make my decisions after that outcome is established.   So far, especially after the last email where she was very forthcoming,  I think I should just keep moving forward and see what happens. 

Jone and Patagonie,  sorry I blew up a bit there.  I knew he was not a native english speaker but this isn't the first time this has happened.  I was just a bit offended at the implication of all that talk entailed. 

And sleepycat and jayH, that is good information to have.  hard wood floors...

[BillyB]

I should go ahead and commit to flying around the world to see a person I can't even verify if they exists? 

Most guys here feel you should have figured out her existence and interest in you within two months to make a decision by now. Because you're still spooked on who you're dealing with, some  guys are recommending you to move on. Even when you visit the woman, you still have to figure out if you can spend a lifetime with her which is something you can't do over the phone and emails. Even if the woman is real and sincere, you may not be compatible and have to move on anyway. That is where backup plans come in.

As I said before, I was going to be a little more demanding of information and the like in my emails.  Well, I sent another one in which I was just that.  All information was forth coming and I did get an "everyday" picture.  Perhaps I was asking in a way that she didn't quite understand before?  Language barrier and all.

Don't demand anything. Share you life with her first. Send her massive amounts of photos and let her know you're interested in seeing her life. Write to her in English and translate with the site below. Cut and paste your translation below your English version so there'd be less confusion. She'd also appreciate the extra effort.


http://www.promt.com/

[TheBullRDR]

Thanks Billy,  I was translating, but she asked me not to because she uses it as a chance to learn english better. That was her request.  And when I say demand, that is too strong of a word.  I'm not demanding anything from her, but I am asking for them in no uncertain terms.  And I'm getting them now, so maybe I was just asking in a way she didn't grasp.  Anyway, just moving along at this point.  I'll keep you informed.

[ML]

Too much political discussions lately let's change tack and do some x rated discussion. 
Is it a common thing for a FSUW to go bald downstairs?

In my experience, only one quarter to one third do the bald thingy.  Another quarter or so do substantial trimming.  But close to half do nothing, except trim a little after they put on the bikini and see what is sticking out.

About the same as in USA.

I like the close shave with a landing strip, but not a deal breaker.

A deciding factor seems to be how the shave affects the walking  comfort.  For some gals, it is quite irritating; for others, it seems not to bother at all.

[ML]

Never met one that was not!!

I met a lot that was not.