How to REALLY Start Your Search!

[RoboCop]

English is the first or second language in virtually every country of the world.

Most all educated persons in the various countries can converse in English.

I restricted my pursuit to women who could converse (even if not perfectly) in English.

I only made the mistake twice of violating this rule and had HORRIBLE experience.

Often the business people I dealt with had interpreters, but I did not because I only negotiated in English and all contracts were in English.

No disrespect is shown by not learning a language.

All things about the culture, history, geography, etc., of a country is available to read in English.

Almost all good women will discourage learning their language because it will take away from them learning English.

That post right there, is the reason why many parts of the world consider Americans arrogant. Foreigners are expected to speak English when visitng us, but the same doesn't apply vice-versa.

The word "hypocrisy" comes to mind.

[ML]

Thanks for congratulation.

I strongly disagree with this idea of respect shown by learning some foreign words.

There are many more ways to show respect that are effective and appreciated . . . without the pain and wasted time.

You really want to help and show respect for their prospects for the future . . . then help them (your partner and her family) learn English.

You want to disrespect them and hold them back . . . then learn their language so they don't have to learn English.

[ML]

That post right there, is the reason why many parts of the world consider Americans arrogant. Foreigners are expected to speak English when visiting us, but the same doesn't apply vice-versa.

The word "hypocrisy" comes to mind.

Totally false.  Not at all hypocrisy.  It is simply intelligent logic.

The big difference is where is the language used elsewhere in the world.

English is very valuable because it can be used in almost every country of the world.

On the other hand, except for a couple of other languages, all other languages are only useful in that specific country.

Your argument would be like saying if you are going to visit with a pilot, then you should first learn to fly a plane.

The only persons from non-English speaking countries who complain about this asymmetrical situation are showing their ignorance of the practical reasons . . . and I wouldn't want to spend time with them anyway.

Yes, those of us born into English speaking countries have a big advantage.  It's a big burden to have to carry . . . but I keep trying.

[AC]

The only persons from non-English speaking countries who complain about this asymmetrical situation are showing their ignorance of the practical reasons . . . and I wouldn't want to spend time with them anyway.

Yes, those of us born into English speaking countries have a big advantage.  It's a big burden to have to carry . . . but I keep trying.

Robocop is correct, you are an arrogant SOB!

 

[ML]

Robocop is correct, you are an arrogant SOB!

 

You are only partially correct.  My Mother was lawfully married to my Father when I was conceived and born.

[2tallbill]

You sure it isn't in the baby's room and requires your able assistance?

I married the mother and got a 13 year old daughter in the deal

[lordtiberius]

Thanks for congratulation.

I strongly disagree with this idea of respect shown by learning some foreign words.

There are many more ways to show respect that are effective and appreciated . . . without the pain and wasted time.

You really want to help and show respect for their prospects for the future . . . then help them (your partner and her family) learn English.

You want to disrespect them and hold them back . . . then learn their language so they don't have to learn English.

I agree that there are many ways to show respect.  I disagree with you that learning languages is a pain or a waste of time.   I do not believe you to be arrogant.  That said, I never called you insincere or insinuated motives for your personal life.  You have the final word.

[jone]

I married the mother and got a 13 year old daughter in the deal

Ahh, my mistake.  Congratulations.  A two for one deal.  Nothing better.

[AC]

Ahh, my mistake.  Congratulations.  A two for one deal.  Nothing better.

Ditto.

[2tallbill]

Mods this is an excellent topic probably deserving it's own thread.

You want to disrespect them and hold them back . . . then learn their language so they don't have to learn English.

The odds of me learning a Russian word that my wife doesn't know several English
synonyms is near zero, so me learning the alphabet along with words and phrases
that every Russian two year old knows certainly wouldn't hold her back.

While in Russia I can go to the store by myself and buy a container of milk, which
is very difficult to do if you don't know the word for milk, because they have a dozen
things in the isle which look exactly like milk but they are actually something else.
I know this because I've come home and poured myself some cereal and covered
it with some kind of liquid sour cream. I said "expletive! $%^%$ expletive!"
 
They also have liquid yogurt (I bought it by mistake too) and some stuff that
I don't even know what it might be in containers that look like milk cartons

By the way milk is молоко or moloko

[jone]

Morozhene.  My favorite.

[2tallbill]

Morozhene.  My favorite.

That goes excellent with cereal!

[RoboCop]

Totally false.  Not at all hypocrisy.  It is simply intelligent logic.

The big difference is where is the language used elsewhere in the world.

English is very valuable because it can be used in almost every country of the world.

On the other hand, except for a couple of other languages, all other languages are only useful in that specific country.

Your argument would be like saying if you are going to visit with a pilot, then you should first learn to fly a plane.

I understand the propensity to pick and choose analogies to suit one's argument, but that was a horrible one. I think it's fair to say there are some minor differences between a pilot and a spouse (I hope so with you at least.) You're not intending to have regular sex with the pilot, meet their in-laws, start a family, or bring them to another country to live in. So what you've done is taken an analogy out of context, because meeting a potential spouse and going on a plane are two different things.

The only persons from non-English speaking countries who complain about this asymmetrical situation are showing their ignorance of the practical reasons . . . and I wouldn't want to spend time with them anyway.

The same could be said the other way around. Those who refuse to learn the language (especially the language of their spouse) have a superiority complex. Yes it's asymettrical, and if you're on a short business trip to South Africa, no one expects you to learn Afrikaana. But when you're sharing a bed with someone and visiting their home country regularly, the trait that prevents you from evening learning a modicum of Russian, is arrogance.


Yes, those of us born into English speaking countries have a big advantage.  It's a big burden to have to carry . . . but I keep trying.

Yes we have a big advantage, that big advantage doesn't give us the right to be a jackass. We bag the French out cause when Americans travel to France and ask questions in English, we either get no response or a reply in French, and we call them arrogant...Hypocrisy much?
[/i]

[lordtiberius]

If you are going to another person's country and you can't read the signs, worthless.  Plus if you speak English and only English, you pretty much limiting yourself to students and terps.  That is cool is you are in your mid thirties trolling for youngins, but most guys are looking for women in their thirties.  My only point in this is to demonstrate the limitations you impose on your search and that you can't appreciate the sights without a small understanding of Russian or Ukrainian.

[Anotherkiwi]

If you are going to another person's country and you can't read the signs, worthless.

Agree.  I'm not suggesting that anyone become fluent in the prospective fiancée's language - far from it - but I've posted many times that I believe a knowledge of the alphabet (if not Latin-based) and at least a few words and phrases will be of enormous benefit.  When you get lost you need to be able to ring your interpreter/business colleague/girlfriend and tell them what's on the street signs around you.

Plus if you speak English and only English, you pretty much limiting yourself to students and terps.  That is cool is you are in your mid thirties trolling for youngins, but most guys are looking for women in their thirties.  My only point in this is to demonstrate the limitations you impose on your search and that you can't appreciate the sights without a small understanding of Russian or Ukrainian.

For this part I'll agree with ML.  It's a heck of a lot easier if she speaks good English to start with, even though there are plenty of examples here where the wife started with either no English at all or no more than what she had learnt (and forgotten) at school.

[ML]

I should 'fess up' a bit. 

I did learn the entire Cyrillic alphabet and know maybe 100 Ukrainian/Russian words.

And maybe a few butchered sentences.

Some funny stories.

In Ukraine, I once looked at a McDonalds picture menu that was posted outside in the patio and carefully wrote down the words for what I wanted.

Went up to order taker and showed my written words.

She turned around and yelled:  Double Cheeseburger.

It was exactly the same words.  Since I could have said them; I felt a little stupid (to myself).

[lordtiberius]

ML, you bring up some good points.  Ukraine is a polygot country.  Most people in Ukraine speak 3 or more languages - English being number 3 after Russian

[Chicagoguy]

The word Toilet seems to be almost universal. At least in my travels.

[Patagonie]

How to get started

1. Get some professional photos done with a digital copy so that you
can use them for a profile and for future letters. Don't have them photo shopped
unless you have a bee sting on your nose and that is a rare occurrence. Also get
a number of normal photos of you by the beach, in the forest, the mountains, doing
various things like picnics and barbecues. DON'T include photos of other women unless
they are your Mother, Grandmother or Full sister, or they are older than 80 or less than
8 years old. Do not take photos of your stuff! Your boat, your car, your house, etc.
Don't use non-current photos

2. Get a new email exclusively for your search. Use that new email to start a
new Facebook page. DON'T ask any of your family or friends to your new FB
page. Use the new Facebook page to create an account with Mamba.ru
Don't use your existing FB account or existing email addresses. If you really
want to know why ask me later and I or somebody else will explain. Get a Skype
account and a decent headset and web camera.

3. Learn some Russian There are lots of ways to do this. I like Pimsleur for
conversation and Rosetta Stone for vocabulary. Look on Craigslist or used places
for deals. Rosetta Stone is difficult to buy used on Ebay. Learn the alphabet. It takes
a little time but once you learn it you will be surprised how fast you improve. Talk to
a FSUW and you will start picking up Russian even faster.

4. Make a decision on strategy.

Are you a Visit One (VO) type? with a backup plan or B. a Visit Many (VM) type?
A. A Visit One type writes a zillion girls letters sifting through the girls
who answer, trying to get any high potential girl on the phone or skype as soon as
possible eventually distilling everything down to one excellent girl and then getting
on a plane right away and visiting her. You should NOT fall in love before you meet,
you should be hopefully optimistic but prepared to move on at all times if there is
no chemistry or you find a fatal flaw. (lying, smoking, drug use, having a local
husband) are examples of what might be fatal flaws

If you visit a woman and it doesn't work out you need to use your backup plan. If you
are a crybaby then your backup plan can be to mope around looking at local tourist crap
and take photos and feel sorry for yourself. My advice is that your backup plan should
be to move to a visit many strategy for the remainder of the trip.

I have been on several visit one trips that didn't work out. I've been heartbroken, but
I went to my backup plan and didn't just give up. Give yourself a pep talk then go after
it. I found my wife using my backup plan!

B. A Visit many type This is for guys who would prefer to determine mutual
chemistry first before wasting a lot of time writing letters or makes a great backup
plan for a visit one trip that goes bad. Pick a city with more than 500K people in it
and buy a ticket to the city, arrange for an apartment, a translator, etc. One week
before you leave you write ONE zillion girls who you find attractive and ask them if
they would like to meet you for coffee or tea.

Don't mix visit one and visit many tactics!!!!
Don't write a dozen girls several letters and have skype and phone calls for a
visit many trip. This will usually blow up in your face. If you have questions ask,
Either myself or one of the others can elaborate further.

5. Do NOT recycle girls if you are writing to Sveta in Sochi and Olga in Omsk
and decide to meet Olga and for whatever reason things don't work out with Olga
then don't go back to Sveta. Why? because Sveta was your number two pick. You
don't want a number two girl you want a number one girl. Sveta doesn't want to
be a number two girl either. You picked Olga for a reason, you didn't choose Sveta
for a reason. You want a number one girl. Don't recycle. Find new girls and start over.

6. If you don't have mutual chemistry with Sally move on This is NOT Hollywood.
Sally is not going to suddenly realized you were what she always wanted. If there is
not mutual chemistry on the first date then Dump her forever. Don't waste your
time or her time. If you don't have a date for all day Saturday don't call Sally! don't
call some girl that you've rejected. Spend the time writing more letters.
Even if the girl is so hot that you can't look at her without drooling on your shoes, if
there isn't mutual chemistry between you DON'T ASK HER OUT AGAIN!

7. If you find a beautiful girl with whom you have mutual chemistry and she
passes all the first date tests. Then you stop dating and pursue her exclusively.
Explain to her that you want to spend as much time with her as possible. If she is as
hot about you as you are about her, she will find a way. If she can't find a way then it's
NOT her, dump her and move on.

8. Be ruthless be a gentleman but dump any girl who isn't the future
Mrs______________ your name here. Don't waste her time don't waste your time.
The sooner you get her out of way the sooner both of you can find your future mates.
You are doing her a favor by dumping her and not wasting her time.

9. Don't listen to excuses. if a girl starts making excuses then dump her.
A serious interested girl will find a way and not make excuses. If you need more info
on what I mean then ask and somebody or myself can elaborate further. A serious
good girl will come up with a solution.

10. Get back on a plane to see her again soon It's best if you make plans to
see her again before you even leave. When you leave you are not there! and it's your
job to keep things rolling along. Don't be vague! FSUW don't do vague! Say I am going
to be on a flight to see you on XYZ day and I want you to wear your red dress and black ]
panties and I will be checking the panties. You need to be a man of action! The relationship
is fragile as soon as you leave so make sure she know you are coming back in 2 or 3
months. Call her daily, skype her daily, send her sms daily it's your job to romance her 
and to seduce her. She wants to be romanced and she wants to be seduced!

LASTLY, FSUW are not for entry level daters. You know who you are. If you are considered
gullible by your friends or are socially shy or inept then it might be best to hire a wingman
like Eduard or a guide than to try this on your own.

Udachi!

Bill

That is a nice post Bill, and ALL, ALL my congratulations for your marriage, God bless you.

[2tallbill]

That is a nice post Bill, and ALL, ALL my congratulations for your marriage, God bless you.

Thank you Patagonie, you are making me blush