I'm new and in need of some direction...

[BillyB]

I am so lonely and disappointed that I feel sick--can anyone get me pointed in a new direction and recommend LEGITIMATE agencies?  Thanks!

Don't rush! Your state of mind is going to scare more women off. Based on what you've said lacking experience, you're probably lacking communication skills with ladies. Before going overseas, try to hit on as many women as you can at home. Go on as many dates as you can and build up your social skills and confidence. We can help you with some things at the forum but not everything. You have to go out and get that experience.

still want to create family, so really need to find someone of childbearing age

Some men have married women with large age gaps but due to your age, you may have missed the boat if you want one young enough to have children. Have you considered finding a lady who already has children?

[Hybrid]

Dating is dating, the world over. The only difference with going overseas is the cards are on the table from the start with the serious girls, there is little messing around. But you still need to find the right girl and avoid the scams, pro-daters etc. You still need to build relationships which as you say you have struggled with. Join a website, start chatting to women and build friendships first before going to Ukraine. Also no one will love you until you love yourself, you need to fix all your personal issues, any girl worth their weight will see right through you and will run a mile or simply take advantage of you. That's my best advice.

[Chicagoguy]

You might be a little old to begin a family. Think about it carefully. My wife has a 31 year old daughter and she believes that her daughter is already too old to find a husband. But she herself did not marry for the first time until she was 54. On the other hand, if you are willing to look at the women who are single mothers you should find many, many available. The Russian men are not too keen for talking this ready made family on.

I found my wife on Holostyak.com. It was a free site and I found no scammers - maybe because I wasn't looking for a young hottie. There are even Russian/Ukrainian women on the site who are already in U.S.

[AC]

You might be a little old to begin a family. Think about it carefully. My wife has a 31 year old daughter and she believes that her daughter is already too old to find a husband. But she herself did not marry for the first time until she was 54. On the other hand, if you are willing to look at the women who are single mothers you should find many, many available. The Russian men are not too keen for talking this ready made family on.

I found my wife on Holostyak.com. It was a free site and I found no scammers - maybe because I wasn't looking for a young hottie. There are even Russian/Ukrainian women on the site who are already in U.S.

He might find a single mother with one child aged 27 or so up to 32, who might want to have one more child and give him that opportunity.  This is if he is financially prepared to take on a ready made family and add another to it.  Our hero seems to have disappeared so we might never know.  Gun shy and all.   

[Muzh]

Hi!  I'm new here, but have been considering finding wife from Ukraine or Russia the past several years.  I have been trying to find a wife since I was 21 but NEVER had anything good happen despite being not bad-looking, highly moral, and generally youthful for my age.  Problem is, I'm now in my early 50's (fortunately still look young--have all my hair, etc.) and want to make something happen SOON!  I have spent the past few years on numerous websites, but haven't found one I really trust.  I am unusually inexperienced for my age (had depression and shyness all through my 20's) and still want to create family, so really need to find someone of childbearing age yet.  I am so lonely and disappointed that I feel sick--can anyone get me pointed in a new direction and recommend LEGITIMATE agencies?  Thanks!

What's the age range of the babes you are looking for?

[ML]

Don't go for any gal above age 20.  Beyond that age, they are much harder to train.

[Anotherkiwi]

Our hero seems to have disappeared so we might never know.  Gun shy and all.   

That's a bit tough - between his last post and this one of yours was the huge time of 20 hours.  Give him a break!

[AC]

That's a bit tough - between his last post and this one of yours was the huge time of 20 hours.  Give him a break!

I didn't mean to be tough, I guess I just assume that if somebody really wants to interact here they would respond to some of the posts made.  You're right he just might be busy with work.  Of course he's welcome back anytime and I hope he comes back.

[lordtiberius]

Anyone go into a negotiation where you got what you wanted without asking for it or communicating at all what you want or why you are there?  The giving party just read your mind and you were happy with it?

Didn't think so . . .

[RoboCop]

That's what I love about this forum, brutal candor! The Achilles heel of this approach though seems to be that it scares off the naive, or those with ideals not compatible with reality.

Reading between-the-lines, and seeing how he said he wanted someone of "childbearing age", that he's 50 but looks "young", and believes age is only being something "numerical" because "people arrive at different stations in life at different times", I think it's safe to say he was gunning for a girl much younger than he is, and was going through this process of cognitive dissonance trying to justify to himself how he could command such a girl.

There's nothing inherently wrong with going for a girl much younger than yourself, many members of this forum have done that successfully. What I will say though is that the few men I've met with FSU spouses with large age discrepancies, I've always gotten the vibe off them that the realtionship was more akin to an exchange of goods and services, than something based on mutual affection. The guy were always besotted and happy, but the girls' came off as pragmatic minded. A feeling of: "I will be with this man and have his offspring because it provides me with a better quality of life." Some of the older men might get pissed off with me saying that...All I can say is, sue me!

If that's something you want, then go for it. Just don't start complaining about all FSU women being Anna-Nicole Smith types later on when things don't work out.

The funny things is this forum always seem to get an older guy who "looks much younger than his age" coming on here every couple of months or so, and disappears after the members give him a dose of cold-hard-truth. I think it's safe to say Walt Disney no more!

[Boethius]

many members of this forum have done that successfully

Many have done it, but relatively few successfully, if a long term marriage is the definition of success.
 

[Muzh]

Don't go for any gal above below age 20.  Beyond that age, they are much harder to train.

There, fixed. 

[fathertime]

Many have done it, but relatively few successfully, if a long term marriage is the definition of success.

Yeah, and that is a big if!  Lots of different ways people choose to define a successful marriage....but yeah I must agree with the general point....very large age gaps or very young women elevate the risk, as that is as obvious as my bald head. 


Fathertime! 

[lordtiberius]

Agree with Robocop.  How can you be successful at anything if you can't communicate?  His shyness is his biggest problem more than his age or any other variable.  We all have issues and those issues are not equal.