It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report  (Read 73350 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline GatoMoon

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 304
  • Country: gb
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #75 on: December 31, 2015, 05:26:31 AM »
Just remember that, for her, it's not Christmas Day.  December 25th doesn't mean anything to the average Russian or Ukrainian, because Christmas in the Orthodox faith is on January 7th.

If Russian or Ukrainian women do not give monkey about our Christmas Day, then they are not really interested in our culture or in us.  FULL STOP!  Why should we, men have to be interested in their culture and women do not.  It is suppose to be 2 ways.

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5233
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #76 on: December 31, 2015, 06:05:25 AM »
If Russian or Ukrainian women do not give monkey about our Christmas Day, then they are not really interested in our culture or in us.  FULL STOP!  Why should we, men have to be interested in their culture and women do not.  It is suppose to be 2 ways.

Exactly, that's what I figured also.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline ML

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9732
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #77 on: December 31, 2015, 11:03:53 AM »
. . . because Christmas in the Orthodox faith is on January 7th.

Try to tell that to Orthodox Jewish people.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online Faux Pas

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9326
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #78 on: December 31, 2015, 08:08:23 PM »
If Russian or Ukrainian women do not give monkey about our Christmas Day, then they are not really interested in our culture or in us.  FULL STOP!  Why should we, men have to be interested in their culture and women do not.  It is suppose to be 2 ways.


Exactly, that's what I figured also.

You don't have to be. I haven't seen or heard of any arm twisting going on. Just stay in your own culture and find you some wimmin. How has that worked out for you so far?

 :ROFL:

Offline zooble

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 47
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #79 on: January 04, 2016, 05:27:48 AM »
I guess I am just trying to get on as indeed many probably are on here and while it may look that I am wary of deception at every turn its really just wanting to be careful so I can get to my goal of finding a decent Russian Woman who is genuinely looking for the same as me, hopefully.
That's a good mindset. The last thing you want is to come across as thinking she is lying 24/7. That will probably doom any relationship.

You've already started writing which is good. The only thing you can lose at this point is time and a small amount of money for site subscriptions. Finding a legit girl that you like is a numbers game - similar to normal local dating.

I'd have to agree that pretty much all of the information you'll ever need is buried in old posts and trip reports here (failures, successes and failures dressed like successes). The problem is reading it all can take some serious time. History is doomed to repeat itself as I'm sure most people fall into the same traps (not necessarily scams) even if they read them all. Some things just need to be experienced by ones self.

If you're ever unsure about someone then post the specific situation here on the forum for advice and go from there.


Well, you certainly get all types on there in any case, one woman wrote to me "The idea with meeting after a couple months of communication is not good. Don't want to waste my time on virtual bla bla bla during a couple months. Regards..." This she posted to me on Christmas day of all days, lol. After just a few days and a couple of correspondence the last of mine was inviting her to skype and yes while telling her it would be a couple of months also told her I was willing to move it forward for a long weekend. Anyhow she was promptly blocked as that sort of abrupt reply does not bode well I think.
Coming across as harsh could be translation issues. Also Russians do tend to be very direct and to the point which can be construed as such.

Offline ML

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9732
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #80 on: January 04, 2016, 08:14:43 AM »
. . . Russians do tend to be very direct and to the point which can be construed as such.

Because it is.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9492
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #81 on: January 04, 2016, 01:25:46 PM »
Because it is.

The beauty of this is that I never have to endure "the silent treatment" I
never have to sit and wonder what Angel Eyes might be upset about.
No mind games. Just direct straight forward answer (if they know). 

FSUW are still women and sometimes have no idea what's bothering them, but
I've never gotten the "if he loved me, he would know crap."

My last American girlfriend and I had a disagreement. It wasn't really much of a
scrap. However, she decided that she was still mad and called me on the phone
and proceeded to give me the silent treatment. Once I realized that she wasn't
joking, I laughed and said "You seriously called me on the phone to give me the
silent treatment?"
I hung up and she was dumped.




« Last Edit: January 04, 2016, 01:27:35 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline Jumper

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 3748
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #82 on: January 04, 2016, 06:05:30 PM »
If Russian or Ukrainian women do not give monkey about our Christmas Day, then they are not really interested in our culture or in us.  FULL STOP!  Why should we, men have to be interested in their culture and women do not.  It is suppose to be 2 ways.

Umm , she merely sent a stranger a reply over the internet.

I doubt she *expected* ,or required ,that he would read it on his Holiday.
She likely just assumed he would read it when he had time, whenever that was
,so the send date isn't too relevant.

This hardly indicates any real lack of concern on her part, for his culture or traditions.
I'm sure given a real relationship ,she(or most any normal woman), would be fine with honoring, even completely enjoying and looking forward to, his Holiday traditions.

 It's just a new pen pal at this time, who was direct in her approach about not wanting to waste time, she'd obviously rather meet in person.
That's not really a negative.
 Nor should she have any reason to not type and send a reply, on some day that is not a holiday in her country.

I'm sure men type and send email(text or skype) replies all the time on holidays in Ukraine they aren't truly aware of! ;)
 (they have so many it would be impossible not too lol)

So while I understand the OP dropping her,
I wouldn't have in his shoes over such.
 It means nothing , just a direct women (fairly typical of RW)
that has likely never  met a foreigner,  but just as likely have had some promise to show up  that never have.
Completely normal experience there with a woman  starting to be involved in MOB,  and her reply isn't out of line or miss timed.


BTW my wife (orthodox) loves Christmas here, and we celebrate Dec 25th as is tradition here , and are the work days off here.
It was never any problem, and I cant imagine many women that it really would be.  As far as honoring  traditions from the FSU, I'm perfectly fine with that too.

« Last Edit: January 04, 2016, 06:10:36 PM by Jumper »
.

Offline GatoMoon

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 304
  • Country: gb
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #83 on: January 04, 2016, 06:27:26 PM »

BTW my wife (orthodox) loves Christmas here, and we celebrate Dec 25th as is tradition here , and are the work days off here.
It was never any problem, and I cant imagine many women that it really would be.  As far as honoring  traditions from the FSU, I'm perfectly fine with that too.


When I had Colombian girlfriend, we were happy exchanging our traditions when I visited there for a Christmas vacation.

She get to celebrate their traditionally on the 24th instead of 25th, but I cooked turkey and brought Xmas pudding, crackers and her kids got to experience Santa's sockings overnight :)  The kids got to write letters to 'baby Jesus'  instead of Santa which are their traditions.


 

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5233
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #84 on: January 06, 2016, 05:49:51 PM »
The beauty of this is that I never have to endure "the silent treatment" I
never have to sit and wonder what Angel Eyes might be upset about.
No mind games. Just direct straight forward answer (if they know). 

FSUW are still women and sometimes have no idea what's bothering them, but
I've never gotten the "if he loved me, he would know crap."

My last American girlfriend and I had a disagreement. It wasn't really much of a
scrap. However, she decided that she was still mad and called me on the phone
and proceeded to give me the silent treatment. Once I realized that she wasn't
joking, I laughed and said "You seriously called me on the phone to give me the
silent treatment?"
I hung up and she was dumped.

Yeah, I have been subjected to that in the past and can't stand it, even my Mother does it which is as annoying as hell. I just find it so stressful that I don't thing its fair to do that to another human being, if they were on the receiving end they wouldn't at all like it. Sometimes it can go on for days and is really a form of abuse I think that isn't really on. Well, anyway, so I guess I would prefer the woman to be straight talking with me, none of those silly guessing games, its just weird and illogical really, I what am I supposed to do keep guessing, lol.

I think though with the female in question here it was perhaps too much directness for me, one of the other girls I am communicating with has been direct with regards a communication issue and while that was a little frustrating to sort out, we have I believed in the end and its something I'm willing to hang in there with for some distance at least. So that level of directness I don't mind but when it broaches on the abrupt rudeness it kind of gets me thinking whether it would get my back up if I kept running up against it, hence why I ceased communication and blocked her. I can see from her point of view she just wanted to get to it and whilst I not into being real picky I got to thinking it probably wouldn't be a good match.

Anyway, present day concern is that I've now got a few women lining up for Skype, and a few in a holding pattern, lol :D What I'm thinking about now is, what do I talk to her about whilst on Skype?!!! I can probably sort out some stuff from correspondence, but I still worry about running dry of stuff or coming across boring, assuming I get understood well enough at all (Think there is some sort of translator built in with it these days?) So apart from spring boarding of anything she might say and getting into the flow of it was wondering if anyone has any ideas on good stuff to say/ask when starting? 
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline Jumper

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 3748
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #85 on: January 07, 2016, 12:15:06 PM »
Quote
Anyway, present day concern is that I've now got a few women lining up for Skype, and a few in a holding pattern, lol :D What I'm thinking about now is, what do I talk to her about whilst on Skype?!!

The exact same things you'd talk about in person, in any initial meeting of this type?

 If you are a good match initially , you'd likely find it flowed naturally..
no searching for topics ,they will just come up..
like you'd known each other awhile  and shared some common interests ,sense of humor etc.

That doesn't mean  a first convo that isn't perfect can't graduate into something.
 I'm just saying they fact you are worrying about it,even a little, or about what to say,  is likely more detrimental , or likely to lead to awkward silences,  than just approaching it confidently and at ease with yourself and the situation.
 
Hold zero expectations..its just a pen pal.
So just have a normal  conversation and see if  it leads naturally, and if you seem to hit it off, if not move on.

To that point, I only chatted with women that had a decent level of English. My Russian isn't that good , and I simply din't worry that I might be missing someone, over my criteria.It was much more important to me to be able to communicate well, and be able to tell quickly if we'd hit it off.
  If it was awkward ,then they weren't for me, or I wasn't meant for them.Simple as that.
 
.

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9492
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #86 on: January 07, 2016, 06:59:33 PM »
Anyway, present day concern is that I've now got a few women lining up for Skype, and a few in a holding pattern, lol :D What I'm thinking about now is, what do I talk to her about whilst on Skype?!!! I can probably sort out some stuff from correspondence, but I still worry about running dry of stuff or coming across boring, assuming I get understood well enough at all (Think there is some sort of translator built in with it these days?) So apart from spring boarding of anything she might say and getting into the flow of it was wondering if anyone has any ideas on good stuff to say/ask when starting?
First, you only want one or two (at the most three for a short time only) girls on
Skype or the girls will run you ragged and you will screw it all up. Get the girls
on Skype then pick the best one. Skype with each one once or twice then pick
the best one.

A holding pattern? That's probably not a good idea. You need to get them on Skype
and weed them out to only one. If you can't decide whether Olga or Sveta is better
then you are going to have serious problems with this process. If none of the girls
seem better than the other then dump them all and start over. 

You aren't the Trench Coat comedy and amusement show. You can't run out of things
to say, unless you aren't asking enough questions and listening to the answers. If you
are sitting on a webcam with a beautiful and interesting woman you should be able to 
think of questions to ask or things to say.

You want a woman who you make a connection with. If you are both quietly staring
at the computer screen then you probably aren't that compatible.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline msmobyone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1141
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • patriotism is the last vestige of fools, but hey
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #87 on: January 09, 2016, 05:09:51 AM »
Just a thought here and a part of my reason for thinking of a just fly in approach, if I were to use internet/agencies how would I avoid the ones that are just in it for there day job? Scam I guess in the lighter sense of the word, those where writing to western men or getting the agency to do it on their behalf is just a form of income - whether for monthly fee or credit approach. Sure you can skype but there is no certainty she is not on the same deal - in it for her cut. I hear that there are loads of women out there that do just that - use it as their second job. Now I know you said there are no guarantees and of course I could cast a wide net when/if doing this, but still it appears a pretty random approach. Hence my thought on the fly in approach to just avoid all that as often it appears from many on here to turn up a dud.

make it a thought -  dismiss as DAFT - and PLAN ..

I'm very much a WOVO guy, but to think you can tip up and start making contacts .... megaDAFT

Please excuse the Curmudgeon in my posts ..he will be cured by being reunited with his loved one ;)

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5233
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #88 on: January 09, 2016, 07:38:51 PM »
First, you only want one or two (at the most three for a short time only) girls on
Skype or the girls will run you ragged and you will screw it all up. Get the girls
on Skype then pick the best one. Skype with each one once or twice then pick
the best one.

A holding pattern? That's probably not a good idea. You need to get them on Skype
and weed them out to only one. If you can't decide whether Olga or Sveta is better
then you are going to have serious problems with this process. If none of the girls
seem better than the other then dump them all and start over. 

You aren't the Trench Coat comedy and amusement show. You can't run out of things
to say, unless you aren't asking enough questions and listening to the answers. If you
are sitting on a webcam with a beautiful and interesting woman you should be able to 
think of questions to ask or things to say.

You want a woman who you make a connection with. If you are both quietly staring
at the computer screen then you probably aren't that compatible.

Udachi!

Bill

Thanks guys, much appreciate your help here, think your probably both right its either going to flow naturally or it won't which will be a pain, particularly for those that are coming across well to me at the moment but is just the way it is I guess. I've got one at the moment I that's coming across well to me, quite active on the correspondence through whatsapp and a fair few pictures of, seems genuine and natural in responses. Not got to skype with her yet or got around to asking her as several of the others have come forward so as you say don't want too much on my hands at once. So "Hold zero expectations..its just a pen pal." probably true, but in that case it would be a shame since it seems to be going quite well so far. In a way would be a shame to lose a good pen pal but for progress to be made will have to get to skype I think as after all a real relationship is what I'm after. Like I've been thinking along the way and what you've stated its either naturally there or it isn't so just going to have to find out I think.
           
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline jazztropy

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 65
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #89 on: January 09, 2016, 07:54:20 PM »
Thanks guys, much appreciate your help here, think your probably both right its either going to flow naturally or it won't which will be a pain, particularly for those that are coming across well to me at the moment but is just the way it is I guess. I've got one at the moment I that's coming across well to me, quite active on the correspondence through whatsapp and a fair few pictures of, seems genuine and natural in responses. Not got to skype with her yet or got around to asking her as several of the others have come forward so as you say don't want too much on my hands at once. So "Hold zero expectations..its just a pen pal." probably true, but in that case it would be a shame since it seems to be going quite well so far. In a way would be a shame to lose a good pen pal but for progress to be made will have to get to skype I think as after all a real relationship is what I'm after. Like I've been thinking along the way and what you've stated its either naturally there or it isn't so just going to have to find out I think.
         

Think not of what you will lose, only what you could win.

Lose the penpal comfort zone thought.  Find your inner man and go for it!

Offline zooble

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 47
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #90 on: January 10, 2016, 03:48:21 AM »

You aren't the Trench Coat comedy and amusement show. You can't run out of things
to say, unless you aren't asking enough questions and listening to the answers. If you
are sitting on a webcam with a beautiful and interesting woman you should be able to 
think of questions to ask or things to say.

He's not wrong to worry about it. Some RW complain that it's boring. Even if there are common interests to talk about that's going to depend on a person's conversational skills. There are those that do it naturally and can talk all day. Then there are those that struggle such as typical quiet people. And beautiful women will probably make it harder not easier 8)

Being able to hold a conversation over the phone/Skype is not extremely important to me. In person silences are accepted and not awkward (general Ukrainian theme).

@trenchcoat: I'd say to Skype simply for an added layer of scam prevention and to get to know her a little bit better but don't do it more than you are comfortable with. Don't plan a 1hr conversation daily if you can only hold out for 5-10mins every week. When the time comes to end the conversation, just wrap it up before it gets boring. If you think a 2nd Skype call will cause more harm than good then don't do it.

In the long haul stick to your A-game whether its writing or talking.


Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9492
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #91 on: January 10, 2016, 11:35:12 AM »
its just a pen pal." probably true, but in that case it would be a shame since it seems to be going quite well so far. In a way would be a shame to lose a good pen pal but for progress to be made will have to get to skype I think as after all a real relationship is what I'm after. Like I've been thinking along the way and what you've stated its either naturally there or it isn't so just going to have to find out I think.
         

The reason you have a good pen pal is that they are romantically interested in you.
Once most FSUW aren't romantically interested in you then they won't waste their
time with a pen pal. Finding, romancing and pursuing an FSUW takes a great deal
of time, money and effort. You won't have time to waste with pen pals.

When you do find an FSUW to pursue, she will be very much against you having other
female pen pals. Don't worry about dumping girls/pen pals. You are doing both of you
a favor, neither of you will find your soulmate until you move on.

When you dump a girl you don't need to be rude, just concise and firm.

Sample kick to the curb letter.
Hello _________________ (her name here)
I am going to pursue others, thank you for your interest. I wish you success, happiness,
good health, love and romance.

Udachi!

______________ Your name here


My advice is don't collect pen pals. Spend all your efforts to find the best girl for you.
Once you find an excellent girl get on a plane and visit her (ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP
PLAN) Don't recycle girls, the second place girl was second place for a reason. You only
want a first place girl.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline jazztropy

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 65
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #92 on: January 10, 2016, 12:29:43 PM »
And beautiful women will probably make it harder not easier 8)


Along the same idea, a woman interested in you, will make it easy for you to woo her. 

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5233
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #93 on: January 13, 2016, 06:37:09 PM »

The reason you have a good pen pal is that they are romantically interested in you.


Ah, good to hear, I did wonder, I'll see if I can move to making her more than a penpal very soon I think. Think below is right as well if I can find one that's naturally into me then it'll likely make the whole thing a lot easier going.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5233
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #94 on: February 02, 2016, 03:03:35 PM »
Well, had a skype with one of the girls recently, she was pretty stunning, prettier even than in her pictures which she was quite attractive in anyway for the most part. She looked a little different to the photos but in a good way same girl though. Conversation was ok, kind of had some questions prepared based on what I know of her already as a back up which was handy as been a little while since I had messaged her and conversation wasn't real easy flowing. It got a little easier when she introduced her cat :) but of course that can only last so long.

Main thing is its kind of difficult to tell on skype if there is much chemistry there, for a little bit I thought it looked there might but of course one person looking to the person on screen is not always same as in real life I guess, has anyone else on here found that? One of the other girls I am in contact mentioned it which surprised me but now having skyped its perhaps is more evident. I guess it doesn't have to be real full on, that can be awkward sometimes but I guess I would like to know for sure as it kind of tells if a girl likes you if you know what I mean for certain I think.

So thinking although skype is handy to see what the girl looks like more fully maybe its better to just message then go visit several do you think? I kind of find that its not always that easy to understand the other person on skype, girl in question was nice but a little quiet and although she put her English as Fluent she seemed to not understand English real fully as in know what you meant and get engaged in deep/lengthy conversation, i.e it was a bit question and answer for a lot of it.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online Faux Pas

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9326
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #95 on: February 02, 2016, 03:20:24 PM »
Main thing is its kind of difficult to tell on skype if there is much chemistry there, for a little bit I thought it looked there might but of course one person looking to the person on screen is not always same as in real life I guess, has anyone else on here found that? One of the other girls I am in contact mentioned it which surprised me but now having skyped its perhaps is more evident. I guess it doesn't have to be real full on, that can be awkward sometimes but I guess I would like to know for sure as it kind of tells if a girl likes you if you know what I mean for certain I think.

You can tell more as if chemistry exist with Skype than without it. When I was in the looking around searching stage we didn't even have Skype. It was emails and telephone. The bottom line is this, nothing will substitute for a face to face personal meeting but technology does allow you more peeks than just 6-8 years ago.

If full blown chemistry, Blue vein throbber exists on Skype or any other communication social media, you might have other problems. Nothing will or should replace meeting in person. Skype isn't the same as meeting in person but, if you felt good about seeing and speaking with the woman, don't rule out anything.

Quote
So thinking although skype is handy to see what the girl looks like more fully maybe its better to just message then go visit several do you think? I kind of find that its not always that easy to understand the other person on skype, girl in question was nice but a little quiet and although she put her English as Fluent she seemed to not understand English real fully as in know what you meant and get engaged in deep/lengthy conversation, i.e it was a bit question and answer for a lot of it.

It can be damn difficult to understand her on Skype even if she has good English skills. It takes some getting to use to on your part and plenty of patience and understanding. You can have good conversations. there is a learning curve on your part of learning how to speak to a non-native speaker.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2016, 03:27:10 PM by Faux Pas »

Online BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13662
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
    • Good Story
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #96 on: February 02, 2016, 08:11:04 PM »

So thinking although skype is handy to see what the girl looks like more fully maybe its better to just message then go visit several do you think? I kind of find that its not always that easy to understand the other person on skype, girl in question was nice but a little quiet and although she put her English as Fluent she seemed to not understand English real fully as in know what you meant and get engaged in deep/lengthy conversation, i.e it was a bit question and answer for a lot of it.



Out of thousands of women on the internet, you should click with a few of them to the point you like them and they like you. Find one girl like that and then make a trip to see her but have a backup plan. If you find yourself not clicking with a girl on Skype or the phone, chances are you aren't going have a good conversation when face to face.
Do your part to limit the spread of COVID-19

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5233
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #97 on: February 03, 2016, 01:15:07 PM »
Thanks Faux Pas and BillyB I really do very much appreciate your input on this I think you both make important points. I think my communication was hampered a fair amount by firstly, microphone setting was perhaps a little low, it automatically sets this so have now manually turned it up (as girl had trouble hearing what I was saying at least a couple of times). Secondly, there was a bit of glare from my glasses from the light since she could only see my eyes when I tilted my head downwards - seems to be from flat screen bouncing back light so think altering height/angle should alleviate this (needed light on as was late evening, plus light from window is from the side). Thirdly, I think sometimes I spoke to fast, particularly near the end so she had trouble keeping up. This leads into what FP was saying about communicating with a non-native speaker. I think that although she had put down she was fluent, I wonder if she did that for the profile, her English is good, but perhaps not fluent, I asked her quite a basic question fairly slowly that I had to repeat three times or so before she got it, I didn't mind but kind of breaks the flow a bit I think.

So yeah guessing it was difficult at times to see my eyes, etc probably is quiet important when skyping. Avoiding too many questions I think will probably be helpful as well for me I think and try and get into a conversation more as the brief period when we did it started to flow a bit more I think.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2016, 01:30:57 PM by Trenchcoat »
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online Faux Pas

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9326
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #98 on: February 03, 2016, 03:17:00 PM »
Thanks Faux Pas and BillyB I really do very much appreciate your input on this I think you both make important points. I think my communication was hampered a fair amount by firstly, microphone setting was perhaps a little low, it automatically sets this so have now manually turned it up (as girl had trouble hearing what I was saying at least a couple of times). Secondly, there was a bit of glare from my glasses from the light since she could only see my eyes when I tilted my head downwards - seems to be from flat screen bouncing back light so think altering height/angle should alleviate this (needed light on as was late evening, plus light from window is from the side). Thirdly, I think sometimes I spoke to fast, particularly near the end so she had trouble keeping up. This leads into what FP was saying about communicating with a non-native speaker. I think that although she had put down she was fluent, I wonder if she did that for the profile, her English is good, but perhaps not fluent, I asked her quite a basic question fairly slowly that I had to repeat three times or so before she got it, I didn't mind but kind of breaks the flow a bit I think.

So yeah guessing it was difficult at times to see my eyes, etc probably is quiet important when skyping. Avoiding too many questions I think will probably be helpful as well for me I think and try and get into a conversation more as the brief period when we did it started to flow a bit more I think.

Yeah it can be a bit tricky. Because English isn't her first language and even if she thinks she is fluent, chances are that she is not. Knowing a language and being conversant in it isn't the same thing. Often it will take you to speak clear, concise and with no slang. Keep in mind she's learned textbook English and that is rarely spoken anymore anyplace. Don't speak slow as if she's an idiot but make sure you choose words that she's likely to know rather than those your friends do know. Remember most of her English was spoken to other Russian speakers that learned from the same textbook she did.

You'll need to learn her nuances of the language rather than her learning yours, especially initially. My first 6-8 conversations with my now wife were akin to painting the house. They felt quite labored. She knew English very well but her accent was much to thick (and very sexy) it was very difficult to understand until I learned her nuances and tendencies of pronunciation

Offline Jumper

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 3748
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Elena’s Models 2 Weeks Report
« Reply #99 on: February 03, 2016, 06:50:05 PM »
Accent alone (yours  and hers) is going to cause you communications gremlins.
You'll both get better at it, but this could be a small issue even years later ..
trust me!! lol
 
Part of the fun in this is how well you each deal with it. Do either of you get frustrated, or both laugh at the mistakes? That kind of thing is compatibility you want to be in tune with as you communicate more.

Don't take offense, but you do seem prone to over thinking this,
as well as seemingly wanting some guarantees or assurances, even if only slight ones.
It's natural to want that, but not realistic.

Looking for better ways to communicate(like skype)  is good ,
and it should make the decision on who to see easier..
but it will never truly eliminate doubts or assure you of a woman's intentions or feelings.
You'll be lucky to figure that out face to face.  ;D

So I'll bear the bad news.
There are none, zero, methods to really truly assure you!
You'll have to rely merely on  gut feel and thinking with the big head.
and be confident in that.
or
You can take enough time (that's the real crux) in communicating regularly that you become absolutely or at least 99%  confident in your decision to see this person.
Problem with that is, each person has a very individual level of when that level  of trust is earned, and the women on the other end view any real dalliance as a keyboard romeo they've heard from 100 or 1000 times and quickly lose interest.

So you've likely got a tight rope to  balance if looking for assurances to a level you're comfortable with.

Personally, I just viewed things much simpler.
If this woman, whom  I've some interest in , lived 100 kilometers away,  would I hesitate to meet her ? If I've done enough due diligence to say *absolutely yes!*, then go!!!
Why would any extra kilometers matter? It's not her fault I live around the world.
While some additional due diligence is savvy, too much is determental,
(for some guys it paralysis them completely)
 so if I was to err , I'd err on the just go  meet her and see what happens side,
 it's just date. While the travel might be extensive, that's my problem for choosing  to date around the world.

Keep in mind that somebody like  FP or I, needed to make those choices with a far more involved travel scenario.

In your shoes, its a hop ,skip, and jump !!
and I'd met anyone that caught my fancy and dint show any immediate red flags.

That makes it a bit harder to relate to your plight, and makes it easier to be a bit rough on you. :) (even if unfounded)

Good luck!




.

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 9043
Latest: Jeff6666
New This Month: 0
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 507066
Total Topics: 19686
Most Online Today: 1780
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 30
Guests: 1743
Total: 1773

+-Recent Posts

Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU by Trenchcoat
Today at 06:09:43 AM

Re: LADAdate anyone? by Faux Pas
Today at 05:54:40 AM

Re: LADAdate anyone? by Shadow
Today at 05:16:35 AM

Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU by Shadow
Today at 05:06:28 AM

Re: LADAdate anyone? by SteveInBoston
Today at 04:54:47 AM

Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU by Trenchcoat
Today at 04:51:17 AM

Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU by Trenchcoat
Today at 04:42:44 AM

Re: Italexit good, bad or indifferent? by msmob
Today at 03:47:17 AM

Re: Italexit good, bad or indifferent? by Shadow
Today at 03:43:27 AM

Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU by Shadow
Today at 03:42:28 AM

Powered by EzPortal