For the newbies out there

[calcowboy1]

Ok, let me try and help out some of the newbie guys out there, because I have been given a back seat view of this international online dating world that has scared the hell out of me (I know a couple of girls who are recieving letters from men)

1) - if you are going to send out a freakn form letter, at least get the girls name correct, and double check that you haven't cut and paste the same paragraph twice.  As well, having 4 different fonts is a give away that you are cutting a pasting from other letters.  For gawds sake, how long does it take to make the font the same

2) - DO NOT send photos with you clearly naked, sitting on the crapper!!!!.  For gawds sake, what the hell are you thinking??? 

3) - When sending photos, do not send the party photos with you hanging all over a bunch of strippers, they are not impressed

4) - No one is impressed with you standing next to some Ferrari complete with shades, sporting the latest Miami Vice look.  Dude, the 80's are over, and no one is impressed.

5) - If your pictures are 10 years old, do not send them, they can tell

6) - Writing about, "I am looking for a sexual tiger in bed, because American girls are frigid, and feminists" is not a way to a womans heart.  Ohhhhh, and then adding a "I need a woman who gives great head as a requirement" is automatically thrown out.

7) - If the girls say they are not interested in anyone over 36, and you are 50, chances are you will not get a reply.  There is always some leway here, but 14-15 years, come on.  There is a reason why she is saying a number of 36

- Realize that if the girl is stunning, and you are below average in the looks department, don't be surprised if you do not get a reply.  Added, sending pictures of your flashy house, nearly naked hairy back, isn't going to help.  Don't think flashing crap is going to somehow turn the honest girls into wives.  If you end up turning one around, good luck in divorce court.

9) - Writing only..... "Hi, I want to git 2 no u" isn't going to get a response

10) - Gawd, I could go on forever, but most important, If you intro letter is BS, then don't expect to get a response.  These girls are impressed with having some personal feel to it.  For gawds sake, look at her profile and ask just one question about her.

I couldn't in my wildest imagination think it was as bad as it is for the girls. 

Cheers!!
Calcowboy

P.S. If the German who took a photo with himself on the crapper, naked.....is on the board, you need some serious help.

P.P.S. - I understand now why the forum Antidate is around. 

[Rim]

I thought FSU women liked hairy backs 

[Shadow]

Finally I understand what I did wrong all that time. 

Oh and one other thing.....
Writing a girl asking her to send money so that you can visit her is not going to work either 

[Louie]

Was the guy reading whilst on the crapper, I think reading is good don't you!!!

[calcowboy1]

Was the guy reading whilst on the crapper, I think reading is good don't you!!!

Gawd, I wish he was reading, at least his head could have been down.  Instead he looked like he was working on a serious consitpation problem 

I thought he was about 2 seconds away from blowing an O-ring

[DonAz]

Cal,
Don't be so hard on those guys. You have to remember that they can only make the rest of us look good.


I could have done without the visual of the kraut on the crapper blowing an O-ring

[Markus]

CalCowboy,

I have read your post a few times and each time I tried to put myself in the shoes of a newbie and draw some education from what you stated. I didn't have a board to consult when I began this process, but, common sense dictated my letter writing. What you write is below elementary and is something directed to men who don't even know the common sense basics of finding a lady anywhere.

I thought I would add some spice to get a discussion on what you have stated. However, it seems you had a target audience in mind when you wrote your "don'ts." I picture a high school graduate with no college education, a man whose gut hangs way over his belt, he has worked for the city for 20 years, has never advanced beyond his entry level job, he never has been married, and is someone who heard something about FSUW.  You heard about him and decided to write some rules. IMO, many men who go this route have some college education or have life experience that has led to some wisdom. I think there is some success with most men I know about who go this route. But, If I can to add to your advice, trying to keep my advice directed to the original audience, I would add:

1. If you decide to visit your lady, don't try to swim across the Atlantic Ocean (U.S. folks), it's too far.

2. If you fly, don't take that large pocket knife that you use to trim your finger nails.

3. Leave your fishing pole at home. You are going to meet a lady; this is not a fishing trip.

4. Burping is not a sign that you enjoyed the meal in Russia.

5. Don't try to out-drink the Russia men; They will keep going while you're passed out.

6. Vodka is not beer.

7. Don't send a picture of you while holding in your gut; it looks like you're standing at attention.

8. Your 1982 truck with different colored fenders is not a Ferrari. Just send a photo with only you.

9. Don't use the garage door as the background for your photo.

10. if you are going to send out a freakn form letter, at least get the girls name correct, and double check that you haven't cut and paste the same paragraph twice.  As well, having 4 different fonts is a give away that you are cutting a pasting from other letters.  For gawds sake, how long does it take to make the font the same?

I like number 10 the best and that was from your post. Although truth exists in what you say, it's still funny.

You may know of some men who have done exactly what you said not to do, but, I think the majority of men who go this route have some sense above a person who would actually consider these things. OTH, my wife told me about a guy who wanted a picture of her in a bikini. That's really not the right way to go about finding a lady. I hope my humor didn't take away from your point, but, I think you are referring to some, perhaps good men, but, they just really don't get it.

Mark

[Markus]

I thought my post was humorous so I showed my wife what I posted. While reading some of the "serious" don'ts to my wife, she said that some of them are true.

She said some guys send photos of themselves naked. Of course, she confirmed they were not on the john. You know photoshop could work wonders for men who want to go this route.

Also, she said men like to send photos of themselves next to a fancy car. That's amazing.

I sent a photo of myself holding a baby. And I didn't even think about confirming that the baby was not mine. I was holding my nephew. But, that baby caught my wife's attention. I think she used the baby to get to me. I feel used. Just kidding, but, having a baby in your hands, is in my opinion, a good photo to send a lady.

Mark

[BC]

5. Don't try to out-drink the Russia men; They will keep going while you're passed out.

This will likely apply to many RU women as well.  I failed miserably with MIL.

[TheHorseman]

Hi,
I am new to the site, but not new to the game.  Another point to make would be not to send picture you yourself with a horse (in any position)  Russian girls don't seem to care to much for Cowboys.

Could have something to do with living in the country.  The country live ins't good in Russia, and they don't understand the difference here in the States.

Will

[bobs12]

Hi Will, thanks for the link to this site!

Not sure about the country assessment - maybe leaving the horses out of the picture would be good as Russians definitely aren't too keen on them, but nothing wrong with being from the country.

I'm afraid I can't talk from experience of online dating as I've never tried it, but I can assure you that if you live in a scenic area, a few nice landscapes will create a good impression. Russians make a strong connection between the place you live in and their expectations of you as a person.

By way of introduction, I'm a friend of Will's, I've been living in St. Petersburg, Russia for nearly four years so I guess I may be able to add something helpful to the discussions here.

[TheHorseman]

Glad to see you Bob

I think you will have a lot to add to the conversations in here.  You being in St Petes will probabley make you a number one canidate for answering questions.  I started writing about my stay there today.  I will send it along to you in a few days.

Not only has Bob been living in Russia for 4 years, he is a top notch English teacher and speaks Russian.  He can answer any question about about St Petes and working there.  He also has a website to help Teachers in Russia.
http://www.visarus.co.uk/community/index

Someone said in a forum today that they were paying $1700 - 2800 for teachers in Moscow.  I think you can answer that question everyone here.  I know I laughed at it.

$400 a month and an apartment is what they pay for experienced teachers in Oktyabrsky.  Good money there.  The cost of living is low in the smaller towns. you can find the average nice apartment that rents for only $100 a month in small towns.  You will be lucky to find a place to live in St Petes or Moscow for less than $400- 600 a month.

Will

[bobs12]

Yep, in case anyone's thinking along Will's lines and doing a teaching stint while 'on the lookout', a few things to remember are:

Big cities are full of foreigners. You'll be nothing new, and people have already built up certain 'expectations' of foreign men. I've already had a bit of a daft experience with a girl who exclusively dated foreign men, (Will, you've met her!) and that was a bit of a disaster.

There are plenty of teachers in big cities (though demand is always there) but if you're not a 'real' or serious teacher you'll probably run into difficulties with work.

Smaller cities are cheaper for living, cheaper for entertainment and your dollars (sadly crumbling against the rouble) will go much further.

The lack of foreigners generally means you can have a fairly easy time as a teacher, and might not be required to 'teach' as such, but give conversation practice. Good way to meet people that speak english 


In any case, it makes it much easier to avoid the gold diggers and passport hunters. I know a few British guys here that are in happy, long term relationships with girls that aren't particularly bothered about leaving the country. I've been with my girlfriend now for over two years, I almost persuaded her once to come to Scotland but that passed. She's a real sweetheart, slightly psychopathic like all the rest of them, but devoted and caring. Maybe more about that later if anyone's interested.

If you're of the 'I can't stand what's happening with society in the West, never mind the girls', jump into my boat. I couldn't bear the thought of going back to the UK, and the US girls I've met here don't exactly make that continent a dream destination. Anything people tell me about life in America now makes me wonder why you don't all emigrate en-masse.

Think about staying in Russia or Eastern Europe. Plenty of people do it now, and it's relatively accessible.

Thanks for the intro Will! I've got your book downloaded & I'm going to have a read of it when I get a chance this week. And post your article on my site

[DonAz]

Hi,
I am new to the site, but not new to the game.  Another point to make would be not to send picture you yourself with a horse (in any position)  Russian girls don't seem to care to much for Cowboys .

Could have something to do with living in the country.  The country live ins't good in Russia, and they don't understand the difference here in the States.

Will

Hey Will let me give you a tip..Get a mule!  RW can't resist a photo of a man on a beautiful mule.  I thought everyone knew that.

I sent this photo  to Yulia before we met and I think it made me irresistible to her.  Nothing like a NY Cowboy ( Muleman ) with a good looking mule to win a RW's heart   

As you can see from the second photo Yulia has learned the joy of riding mules herself
Hope that helps,

Don

[Shadow]

Hey Will let me give you a tip..Get a mule!  RW can't resist a photo of a man on a beautiful mule.  I thought everyone knew that.

I sent this photo  to Yulia before we met and I think it made me irresistible to her.  Nothing like a NY Cowboy ( Muleman ) with a good looking mule to win a RW's heart   

As you can see from the second photo Yulia has learned the joy of riding mules herself
Hope that helps,

Don

Don,
Good to see Yulia got herself a mule  No disrepect intended. 

[DonAz]

Don,
Good to see Yulia got herself a mule  No disrepect intended. 

Shadow,
I was wondering who would be the first to pick up on the two different  meanings of my post.

You win a cookie!

Don

[TheHorseman]

I have Appaloosas,,,, here in Oklahoma that is about as close as you can get to a mule without adding the donkey.

Hasn't help,,, does Yulia have any friends that like horses?

[KenC]

Horseman,
It isn't the horses as much as the country living that would turn them off.  A lot of RW enjoy horseback riding, theyjust don't like farm/ranch living.  My wife goes riding often here in San Diego.
KenC

[jb]

My wife and I went "riding" once in Russia.  Have you ever seen what the Russians think of as "a riding horse"?   I was raised around AQHA stock, Western Pleasure, a few American Saddle Bred, my cousin was fond of Tennessee Walking hourses, and I even saw a couple of Thoroughbreds once.  All the riding stock I'm familiar with run about 16-17 hands high at the shoulder and might weigh in at 900-1,200 lbs, the horses they had us riding in Russia were as big as Budweiser Clydesdales, horses so tall no ordinary man could mount without a step ladder.   I almost LMAO to see my tiny little wife sitting up there on a huge 2,000+ lbs monster horse.

BTW, Russians don't bridle train their horses the same as we do so don't expect to get on a Russki pony and have instant control over the situation.  Russian riders guide their mounts almost entirely with their feet and legs.

I have some pictures around here somewhere....

[TheHorseman]

It isn't the horses as much as the country living that would turn them off.  A lot of RW enjoy horseback riding, theyjust don't like farm/ranch living.
KenC

I alread figure the country thing out,,,, that is way I had been doing my shopping in the Russia country... I figured the the odds would be better.

Now I have learned it isn't the country life I have to deal with but the mothers of the women living in the country over there.
Their mother will threaten to throw themselves in from of a train to keep their daughter from leaving.... I am still waiting to see one of them do it though.  I least I would know she was serious.

Will
 

[Manny]

Horseman,
It isn't the horses as much as the country living that would turn them off.  A lot of RW enjoy horseback riding, theyjust don't like farm/ranch living.  My wife goes riding often here in San Diego.
KenC

I dont know I totally agree with that, Russians love to escape off to the Dacha of a weekend, in the country. - these girls are very fond of nature and if your prospect is from an industrial town she will quite likely have the use of a Dacha. Maybe it depends if you find a city girl or a girl from a more remote place. People are different of course but if you are in the country then maybe just explain that the facilities are good and yes you do have hot water there. When you speak of country living they will think of Dacha living, which from my experience is fun for a few days but you wouldnt want to do it 24/7. You would need to succinctly explain the differences and she would be unconcerned probably.

I love horseback riding when I get the opportunity, we had horses when I was a child (yes in England  ) - but my lady is not enthusiastic about the subject, she has however decided that she will give it a try and maybe learn.

[rpmschevy]

When you speak of country living they will think of Dacha living, which from my experience is fun for a few days but you wouldnt want to do it 24/7. You would need to succinctly explain the differences and she would be unconcerned probably.

Hey Man thinks for this little tidbit.  A lady I met and now corresponding with daily just asked me about city vs country living.  I was thinking city as NYC vs Okie living.  Thanks for the clarification.

RPM

[FunIndieBloke]

Hi guys!

Some of the pointers I've read here sound like common things to keep in mind when dealing with women of any nationality - from what I've heard, there are some universal things that will turn a woman on to you (Like being a complete gentleman) and universal things that will turn a woman off (being jealous and possessive).  My question is how much of what we western men were taught do we have to learn (and unlearn) when dealing with RWs?  What's different about them?  (I posted a topic about this, and saw this topic afterwards)

Some of the things the original poster suggested are applicable to any online dating (Don't send a form letter and respond uniquely to every lady, don't even come close to mentioning sex, etc...)  One online dating site suggested writing a personal profile that describes a perfect date taking into account your interests and your likes, and using that as a hook to catch the lady to write in to find out more about what you're proposing.  Anyone here tried that?   

[Manny]

I sent my lady my standard letter of introduction when I first wrote.........

Just recently we were discussing it........... she said  " I knew your 1st letter was the one you sent to all the girls, if your 2nd was no better you would have not got to a 3rd!"