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Author Topic: A long slow brush off?  (Read 9962 times)

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Offline jb

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #25 on: June 23, 2006, 09:24:48 AM »
Oddly, I'm sitting here wondering why coreqq is patiently waiting for her to blow him off.  If it were a relationship that depended on my dime to see it through or not, I'd have already been looking for a new object of my affection.  These LD romances have a less than high probability of coming to a happy end anyway.   Why should a man sit there and allow any woman to beat him up emotionally from 4,000 miles away?  It just makes no sense to me.

I'd say it's time, more than high time, to move on....

Next~!
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Offline Turboguy

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #26 on: June 23, 2006, 10:26:55 AM »
I think sometimes when you really want something to happen you make excuses, you hope, you try not to pay too much attention to flags that are really shoved in your face and you try to pretend the world is different than it is, that the feelings are different than they are, that the possiblitys are better than they are.  I know I am guilty of a lot of that and the smartest think I could have done would have been to open my eyes to the truth.

Spinning your wheels does not get you anywhere.  It just wears out your tires.
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Offline KenC

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #27 on: June 23, 2006, 11:04:15 AM »
It is called denial, Turbo.
KenC
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Offline jb

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #28 on: June 23, 2006, 11:17:21 AM »
Ahhhh,,, sailing down de nile. We had a whole thread about that.  Old story, needs a new twist.
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Offline Turboguy

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #29 on: June 23, 2006, 05:32:00 PM »
Quote from: KenC on June 23, 2006, 11:04:15 AM
It is called denial, Turbo.
KenC

Ah, some people can ramble on for 1000 words and some people can find the perfect word that summarizes it all.   Yes it is Ken. 

You are right jb.  of course you tell me you are always right and I argue with that and say must most always.
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Offline PeeWee

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #30 on: June 23, 2006, 07:44:20 PM »
Quote from: Turboguy on June 23, 2006, 10:26:55 AM
I think sometimes when you really want something to happen you make excuses, you hope, you try not to pay too much attention to flags that are really shoved in your face and you try to pretend the world is different than it is, that the feelings are different than they are, that the possiblitys are better than they are.  I know I am guilty of a lot of that and the smartest think I could have done would have been to open my eyes to the truth.

Spinning your wheels does not get you anywhere.  It just wears out your tires.

Say, Amen, my brother. 

Peewee
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Offline catzenmouse

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #31 on: June 28, 2006, 09:14:38 AM »
George,

 Why don't you just ask her these questions? She's the only one who can tell you what is going on with her and with how she feels about your relationship.

Just a thought,
 Ken
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Offline Serebro

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #32 on: June 22, 2007, 10:36:29 AM »
Quote from: coreqq on June 16, 2006, 10:43:24 PM
This girl I have been writing to since January seems to be very busy lately. In March I spent 10 days with her and her parents and it was all a big success. In the beginning we wrote almost everyday and during our meeting we agreed to meet again in the Summer at a more romantic destination. Now since our meeting the e-mails have become shorter, less content, and less frequent, about 3 a month because she is busy at the dacha. I should mention that I have never been stingy and that she lives with her parents and she has her own computer and does not have a regular job; she does occasional computer work for her parents who are school teachers. Also her parents own 2 cars and 2 apartments along with their large dacha. I'm getting the impression that she has lost interest and is simply too shy to tell me so, or maybe someone else is getting most of her attention, or both. Now I am beginning to wonder if I should cancel my travel plans. I am reminded of another girl I once met in Ukraine that repeatedly used the "dacha and sick grandmother" excuse for never being at home. Turns out she had a steady boyfriend that required most of her time, but that is another story.  I would prefer to keep a steady line of communication going in order to keep the relationship alive and stimulated so that we are comfortable when we meet again this Summer. I suppose I could come right out and ask her about it but I can see where that could cause more problems. Any thoughts, opinions? Thanks!
George

Every day brings surprises to me, something might be wrong with my horoscope, I am a sagittarius.....
I do hope that coreqq will come back and will try to explain WHO all this story is about...

we corresponded since January, right and coreqq told me that I was the only girl that he corresponded with at that moment. But ...errr...I don't remember meeting in March and the big success that coreqq had or having parents who are teachers and spending days in  a dacha, especially a large one...and.. many, many  other things...George?!!! :-\


Guys, I can't understand certain things, why to give wrong details if you want to get the right advice or why to say that you are the only one when you are not!
« Last Edit: June 22, 2007, 10:41:08 AM by Serebro »
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Offline Admin

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #33 on: June 22, 2007, 11:43:54 AM »
Quote from: Serebro on June 22, 2007, 10:36:29 AM
Every day brings surprises to me, something might be wrong with my horoscope, I am a sagittarius.....
I do hope that coreqq will come back and will try to explain WHO all this story is about...

we corresponded since January, right and coreqq told me that I was the only girl that he corresponded with at that moment. But ...errr...I don't remember meeting in March and the big success that coreqq had or having parents who are teachers and spending days in  a dacha, especially a large one...and.. many, many  other things...George?!!! :-\


Guys, I can't understand certain things, why to give wrong details if you want to get the right advice or why to say that you are the only one when you are not!

Serebro,

It looks like this post is dated a year ago - in 2006 - so the "March" referenced would have been March of 2006.

Out of curiousity, how do you *KNOW* that 'coreqq' is the same guy who you met? Did he (the guy you met) tell you about RWD and his username here?

Something definitely seems to be amiss in all this.

- Dan
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Offline Serebro

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #34 on: June 22, 2007, 04:45:56 PM »
Quote from: Admin on June 22, 2007, 11:43:54 AM
Serebro,

It looks like this post is dated a year ago - in 2006 - so the "March" referenced would have been March of 2006.

Out of curiousity, how do you *KNOW* that 'coreqq' is the same guy who you met? Did he (the guy you met) tell you about RWD and his username here?

Something definitely seems to be amiss in all this.

- Dan
Yes, I know that it was LAST year, I have never seen that post before.I saw that coreqq has 17 posts so I decided to read the rest.I wasn't surprised  after reading his last 2 threads but THIS thread shocked me.
I am not sure the story is about me. It coincides but the details are VERY different.  We met in May 2 years ago and then we met last August, 2006, he told me many times that
I was the only girl that he corresponded with since last January...though I am sure that the story was about me, but all those details..why to change them in such a great way.. it would affect the answers...
-why to write that we met in March, 2006?!
-why to write about some strange success?!
-I had a regular job since last January, I worked for a large international company and it took me a lot of time
-my parents are not teachers and I have never worked at home for them
-I have never called to him last year
-I have never written about dacha, at least not so many times to pay attention to it.

as for the rest of the story it is about me and us.Coreqq is a very strange person I should say, it's not the first time he changes the details of the story to make me look strange and then post his stories everywhere .
For the last month he has done so many strange things that it scares me, he calls to different people who know me and tells them and asks them personal things about my life pretending that we still have something, besides he writes letters to my mother where he says that there's something more than friendship between us and asks her about me and about my health.
(though he wrote his good-bye letter more than 1 month ago after getting advices on this forum)

That's interference with a personal life and if he doesn't stop this hysterics I will have to write a report to police. The fact that he doesn't mention names means nothing, he wants to get satisfaction from making me look terrible and get some good advices on how to revenge and hurt me.

PS:My English is not good enough to understand what he meant with that sentence

". I should mention that I have never been stingy and that she lives with her parents and she has her own computer and does not have a regular job; she does occasional computer work for her parents who are school teachers"
What did he mean with that?!
« Last Edit: June 22, 2007, 05:15:40 PM by Serebro »
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Offline Gator

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #35 on: June 22, 2007, 04:57:11 PM »
Serebro,

You are now learning more about your ex-, and none of it is good.  Whether it was another woman or distorted details, you now realize that it is over.  Hello, I said "over." 

You are at an emotional lowpoint in your life, but this is not the place for vengeance.

While you may derive some comfort and direction from posting here, it seemingly would be minor compared to what your Russian friends and family could provide. 
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Offline Serebro

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #36 on: June 22, 2007, 05:02:43 PM »
Quote from: Gator on June 22, 2007, 04:57:11 PM

You are at an emotional lowpoint in your life, but this is not the place for vengeance.


No, I am fine, for the last week I have known a  lot of things that made me recover fast and made a bad guy of a "not bad guy"..so I am glad.




And as for posting oh, I got it: only men can write all they want about women here.I have to go somewhere else. ;D
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Offline macman

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #37 on: June 22, 2007, 05:16:50 PM »
No dear. . .  it's the back-biting slugfest that you and your "boy" had. . .  You did not start it - he did.  Maturity is not found in age!

Be cool. . .

mm
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Offline wxman

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #38 on: June 22, 2007, 05:18:05 PM »
Serebro

I see nothing wrong with you writing about your experiences. I do not personally know coreqq or you, so I won't comment on each of yours relationship. I believe that you are not asking anyone to take sides, but only trying to tell about your experiences. I doubt that either Serebro or coreqq want to turn this into a mudslinging contest.
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Offline ecr844

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #39 on: June 22, 2007, 05:28:36 PM »
Quote from: Serebro on June 22, 2007, 05:02:43 PM
No, I am fine, for the last week I have known a  lot of things that made me recover fast and made a bad guy of a "not bad guy"..so I am glad.




And as for posting oh, I got it: only men can write all they want about women here.I have to go somewhere else. ;D

"serebro,"


   Everyone is differnt and I can only speak for myself. I will add my .02 and you can take it for what it ends up being worth to you. The point being made albeit subtly is you are being dragged into an egotistical mudslinging word fest with an (?) ex of whatever name or title you wish to give him. The not so subtle point being made to you....STOP...DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME...DON'T BOTHER READING THE THREADS AND FEEDING THE FIRE...

   As for your posting here. I would like you to feel welcome here, and continue posting on other threads and about other things. I suspect that there may be many others here who feel the same. In my limited experience nearly all RW have been welcome here with open arms. I happen to think that having the RW perspective here can be quite helpful and has for me a number of times. It provides us all a chance to learn from each other. I don't think you'll get a chorus of posters saying...
Quote
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
but I do think you may find a number of us think you may provide a great contribution here if you choose to do so. At the end of the day it's all your choice. Just think abit about how low your sinking to justify the statements of someone who is burying themself in a deep hole of NO CREDIBILITY.

Food for thought, Best wishes,
ECR844

 
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Offline Serebro

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #40 on: June 22, 2007, 05:29:16 PM »
Quote from: macman on June 22, 2007, 05:16:50 PM
No dear. . .  it's the back-biting slugfest that you and your "boy" had. . .  You did not start it - he did.  Maturity is not found in age!

Be cool. . .

mm
Yes, I know it's not pleasant to read about that and to be a witness of such things.
But the problem is that I have noone to speak about it with.It's a shame to tell good things about the person and then to tell bad things about him.
I have shown him to my relatives(that was his idea) but I told many good things about him and it's painful to call to them all now and to explain the details and ask them not to speak to him if he calls or to make them change phone numbers in order to avoid possible questions about my health condition.
If I tell them the details they will just ask me why I have introduced that man to them...

That was what I wrote about in the topic concerning first visits in ladies' home town and introducing their boy-friends to their parents and friends. It was  from my own experience.
Now you can see how bad it can be.
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Offline macman

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #41 on: June 22, 2007, 05:34:06 PM »
Quote
That was what I wrote about in the topic concerning first visits in ladies' home town and introducing their boy-friends to their parents and friends. It was  from my own experience.
Now you can see how bad it can be.

Serebro,

While I laboriously (with difficulty) read you and dude's posts, I did not understand that this was your first meeting.  Is this the case?

mm
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Offline Turkey

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #42 on: June 22, 2007, 05:40:16 PM »
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...


:D

Is this a cultural difference?  Russians feel it is appropriate to discuss daily problems with friends and feel if you answer 'fine' to the question 'how are you' may be insincere.

I think that there are members here who truly care about her well being so from a Russian and Western view her posts seem appropriate.  But of course one needs to be careful that whatever one posts is for the public record ;)


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Offline Serebro

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #43 on: June 22, 2007, 05:46:23 PM »
Quote from: Turkey on June 22, 2007, 05:40:16 PM
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...
WAIT!!!...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE...WE NEED YOU HERE...PLEASE DON'T GO...


:D

Is this a cultural difference?  Russians feel it is appropriate to discuss daily problems with friends and feel if you answer 'fine' to the question 'how are you' may be insincere.

:D
I am not a typical russian, I have a computer and Jeff  has made me love western forums' discussions. 8)
macman, aha...
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Offline macman

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #44 on: June 22, 2007, 05:48:41 PM »
Quote
macman, aha...

I understand this to mean - YES?  May I ask a personal question that will be public knowledge?

:-)
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Offline Turkey

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #45 on: June 22, 2007, 05:51:24 PM »
AGAIN please don't ask if she is a virgin!!!
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Offline Serebro

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #46 on: June 22, 2007, 05:52:00 PM »
Quote from: macman on June 22, 2007, 05:48:41 PM
I understand this to mean - YES?  May I ask a personal question that will be public knowledge?

:-)

You, folks, are scaring me today:)
Go ahead!
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Offline macman

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #47 on: June 22, 2007, 05:59:14 PM »
Man, I feel like Dr. Phil here. . .  I know "Y'all" don't have him - but, you've been to the U.S. from what I've read in your posts.  If you made love to this guy on his first visit, before you knew him, and he got weird, where would you see the problem to be?
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Offline Serebro

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #48 on: June 22, 2007, 06:03:41 PM »
Quote from: macman on June 22, 2007, 05:59:14 PM
Man, I feel like Dr. Phil here. . .  I know "Y'all" don't have him - but, you've been to the U.S. from what I've read in your posts.  If you made love to this guy on his first visit, before you knew him, and he got weird, where would you see the problem to be?

why are all personal questions connected with sex?!

I was in the US in 2003 when I was a student.
I met HIM in 2005.
I have NEVER made love to americans.

The problem was that according to the book "Mars and Venus on a Date"(a guide for navigating the 5 stages  of dating to create a loving and lasting relationship )by John Gray we were on stage 2, when making love was stage 4.

 :-\
« Last Edit: June 22, 2007, 06:17:33 PM by Serebro »
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Offline philb

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Re: A long slow brush off?
« Reply #49 on: June 22, 2007, 06:09:15 PM »
All of this crap just leaves me shaking my head. 
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