Omsk

[catzenmouse]

Just got back and will work on a trip report of our visit. Brain is pretty much toast right now as with the time change we left at 6:50 AM yesterday morning and got home at 10:30 PM today.

 One thing I will say to all of you still looking... Long legs, long hair, tight shirts, tight shirts, tight jeans, short skirts, and Hot Pants are all alive and well. Sorry there are no "Scenery" pictures as it would be quite uncool (and probably dangerous to me) to take pics like this when you are on vacation with your wife. But do not forget about the other parts of the FSU like Siberia. Weather was hot, food was wonderful, beer was fantastic, etc.

 Will start on the report in a day or so as we have to go to Norfolk tomorrow for Sergei's GC interview (don't you just love a 4 hour round trip drive the day after spending 15 hours on a plane!)

Ken

[BillyB]

Good to see you back Ken. I'm looking forward to your trip report!

[Sohkay]

Welcome back Ken! I can only imagine having to do a four hour RT drive after just returning yesterday. My last time to Ukraine, I had virtually no jet lag upon arrival there. On the other hand, after returning back to the States, I was feeling it for almost two weeks.

Looking forward to your trip report.

[ConnerVT]

Long legs, long hair, tight shirts, tight shirts, tight jeans, short skirts, and Hot Pants are all alive and well. Sorry there are no "Scenery" pictures as it would be quite uncool (and probably dangerous to me) to take pics like this when you are on vacation with your wife.

This is when a photographic memory is priceless... 

[TheHorseman]

My last time to Ukraine, I had virtually no jet lag upon arrival there. On the other hand, after returning back to the States, I was feeling it for almost two weeks.

From personal experience.  When I arrived in Russia there were too many beautiful women to look at, which is what I think distracted me fro any jet lag.  I think what you experienced when you returned was withdrawl symptoms after see the women in America.  I didn't have jet lag, but it sure made my eyes hurt.

Welcome back Ken,  Best to keep only mental pictures like those when your with your wife.  I understand totally.

[catzenmouse]

From personal experience.  When I arrived in Russia there were too many beautiful women to look at, which is what I think distracted me fro any jet lag.  I think what you experienced when you returned was withdrawl symptoms after see the women in America.  I didn't have jet lag, but it sure made my eyes hurt.

Welcome back Ken,  Best to keep only mental pictures like those when your with your wife.  I understand totally.

Yes I agree totally (and have already been sadly dissappointed with the AW look and attitude, but Elena does read here so I'll still be in trouble...

Still unpacking and washing clothes right now. Everyone else is napping so I can get a few minutes to read here. Amazing how much happens here in 2 weeks. Will take me that long to catch up again.  Give me another day or so to get settled in and I'll get started with the report. Thanks guys. It's nice to be missed.... Gawd... Does that mean I've got no life? 

[viking]

Ken,Something tells me that you have a great life. Rest up and then get to typing. Welcome back.

[Vaughn]

Ken,

 Don't forget a report on Sergei's GC Interview. It amuses
me how USCIS sends a postal GC, and then schedules a
face-to-face for a young K-2 child. Hilarious! Geez, will they
go through the list with him? Narcotics - prostitution - Communist Party?

 Glad you're all back safely!

Vaughn (now everyone's referring to me as Vaw-gun in Mari-El)

[catzenmouse]

 Well lets just say that the Department of Humungous Stupidity is living up to and beyond the name!

 A year and a half ago we filed for him. The whole package was returned to us with no explaination what so ever. Earlier last year we filed for him with me being the sponsor. It was rejected saying that I could not be the sponsor that Elena would have to be the sponsor. So we refiled (with fee of course!) late in the year, got the acceptance notice, the biometrics appointment and then the interview yesterday. We get there (a four hour round trip for us) and they tell us that the MO office messed up and should not have rejected my application. It should have been a done deal by now with no questions. They tell us that as a permanent resident filing for her son it would take about 7 years to process his application and that we have to withdraw her application and I have to refile under my name (with a new fee of course). Then they thank us for coming and also told us "better luck next time".

 So, needless to say I am looking for a volumn discount hit man service to eliminate every DHS and USCIS person in the world. Disgusted, angry, fed up, pissed off are all too limited to tell you how we feel about this bunch of (expletive deleted)!

 So far they have two I-130 fees with another coming, $100+ worth of gas for travel, several wasted vacation days and an increase in my purchase of blood pressure pills. Sounds like they are just helping out the economy... ???

Ken

[Turboguy]

Thank you Ken.   You will have single handidly funded the next round of tax cuts the government makes.

[catzenmouse]

Thank you Ken.   You will have single handidly funded the next round of tax cuts the government makes.

TG,

 Always happy to do my part to help the rich folks out....

[Sohkay]

Exactly right Turbo. These tax cuts are stimulatin' the economy! I mean, this economy is really stimulated. And keep the faith, these tax cuts are going to trickle down to the majority of us. We should be feeling that tricklin' any time now. Never mind this horsepuckey that middle class income has fallen for 5 years in a row, or that the pension funds that so many paid into are now insolvent, or that there's almost 5 million more living below the poverty line now than in 2001, or that there are more Americans without health insurance now than in 2001, or that much of our infrastructure in this country is crumbling, or that the oil companies are getting tax cuts and multibillion dollar incentives, or that congress has allowed the rates on student loans to be increased, or that the minimum wage hasn't been raised in 9 years though congress just voted themselves a pay raise, or that we're running record deficits. We just need these stimulatin' tax cuts...oh, and we also need to turn social security over to the Wall St. brokers.
Don't worryTurbo, us folks are gonna' be happy.

Oh, and we should be thankful our government is protecting us by thoroughly documenting and protecting us from all the Sergei Spongebob Squarepants out there. You never know what's behind that heartwarming smile.

But this was about Ken's trip to Omsk. Prastite.

[catzenmouse]

Oh, and we should be thankful our government is protecting us by thoroughly documenting and protecting us from all the Sergei Spongebob Squarepants out there. You never know what's behind that heartwarming smile.

That's right! If I don't get my way soon I'll unleash him on all of you! No Mercy! Nonstop talking from the time he gets up until he passes out, constant requests for drinks and food, constant requests to play video games, computer games, watch dvd's, go to the park, ride the bike, and the most horrifying of all... to listen to him read One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish for the 16th time in a row! Be Afraid People! Be Very Very Afraid!

I will show you infidels the wrath of Sergei Squarepants!!!

[catzenmouse]

Actual Trip Report Begins:

We left Dulles after a ridiculously long wait in line at the Aeroflot counter. About 100 people in line with 1 check in window working and 3 other groups standing around picking their collective noses. After about 40 minutes they opened another window then 20 minutes later two more windows opened and started yelling at people to hurry up as we had about 30 minutes until the flight left. Once on the plane I get the seat that will slowly slide back out of the “upright position” along with the 1st class B*%&H stewardess who is so busy fixing her hair and nails that she just can’t be bothered to answer a question or do her job. (Note to self: Never Again Use Aeroflot International!)

10 hours later we are in Moscow with about a 10 hour layover until our flight to Omsk. We booked a room at the Sheremytevo hotel to chill and to alleviate the jet lag a bit. Of course there is no shuttle around for the hotel and we were thinking of walking over to it but the 4 bags + 2 carry-on bags and the 6 year old with us brought the decision to just cab it. 300 roubles for a ¾ mile trip. Room was small, ancient, and rather expensive at $160 but the TV worked for Sergei and we got a bit of a nap.

The next leg of our journey was quite pleasant as the internal Aeroflot flight crew were efficient, friendly, and cooperative. We got to Omsk at about 6 in the morning to the family crowd (Irina (sister) and her boyfriend Sasha, Mama, and Olya (Aunt) along with Olya's friend, also Sasha, as he had the second car) waiting for us (not really us but Sergei, we were an afterthought) and they had two cars waiting for us to get back to our flat. We had the normal greetings and present giving at the flat while they keep asking me if I want to sleep now. I did not but I did want a beer so quick as a wink someone left and returned with some Baltika for me. Yes, it was about 8AM for them but it was late in the evening for me and I was very ready for a beer after the travel. A bit later most of the family left to go to get a meal ready for us and let us settle in and chill a bit.

A few hours later we head over to Olya and Igor’s (Aunt and Uncle) place (2 doors down and 5 flights up) for a major family meal. There was a couple kinds of fish, chicken, potatoes, breads, tongue (I ate some but yuck!(I was a meat cutter for 12 years and there are many, many animal parts that I have absolutely no desire to ever ingest.)) Igor brings out a bottle of brandy and we toast and eat and toast and eat and so on for a couple of hours until I start to fog out from the trip and the brandy so we head back to our flat to call it a day.

This was about 10 at night and it was almost two hours until dark so not only were we foggy from the time change (11 hours later than home) but it was still day so our bodies were all screwed up. Good grief those pull out couch beds are a killer! That will be one of the first things that we replace in our flat, actually it is Elena’s flat that I am horning in on here but since we want to make it our second home so to speak I think I can get away with that much. Already see that I want to tear out the wall between the bathrooms and replace the kitchen but I digress here.

[Vaughn]

Good start, Ken. Not to interrupt the flow, but I have two questions.
1) Is your flat occupied while you're in the States?
2) TWO bathrooms? Really?

Vaughn

[catzenmouse]

Good start, Ken. Not to interrupt the flow, but I have two questions.
1) Is your flat occupied while you're in the States?
2) TWO bathrooms? Really?

Vaughn

Baba Klava lives there full time now. Sorry, I should have been more clear: 1 room with a toilet and 1 room with tub/shower next to each other.

[catzenmouse]

The next few days we did a lot of walking around the city, riding the busses and mashroutkas (which well deserve their name of “5 Minutes of Death”) played dodge ball (with us being the ball) with the traffic, did a bit of shopping at the open air markets, malls, and kiosks and just enjoyed being able to be kid free for a bit. I am not kidding about being the dodge ball. You are a target for them. They will blow the horn but do not slow down or move a bit unless you are in one of the pedestrian crossings and often not even then. Another thing I noticed is that those white dashed lines that we stay between while driving here are actually just a mild suggestion and most of the time are not to be bothered with. If there are two lanes marked the drivers will make it into 5 lanes and are merciless about cutting off anyone that they think they can get a few inches ahead of.

The taxis are a trip all onto themselves. Most of them being Ladas and me being 6 ft. tall it is like getting into and out of the back seat of an old VW Beatle with no shocks. And I promise to never ever complain about our roads again!

Elena’s old school friend (Yana) came in from Tomsk to visit. We were there for 2 weeks and Yana had planned to stay for 10 days of this. Okay, well that is all fine but this is our vacation with our family and not our special trip to see her.  I could see right off that she was a moody one and probably prone to depression, which Elena verified as well, and as she was expecting Elena to spend all her time visiting and being with Yana we decided to get out of town for a couple of days by ourselves and let Yana take care of herself a bit.

Olya knew about a place out of town with some amenities. Sounded good to us and at 1800 roubles for 4 nights with 3 meals a day included was a very good deal. We set it up and along with Olya and Yana we spent the afternoon on a little river cruise on the Irtysh and had lunch at one of the many open air restaurants while we wandered around. I seemed to be living on shashlyk at these restaurants which was excellent everywhere we went. Unfortunately Elena was not having the same good results at restaurants as I was so she was getting to not want to eat out much. Overall we had mostly average service, a few with an attitude, and a few that were very good. The good ones got a good tip, the average ones got a small tip, and the attitudes got nothing.

Some pictures of the cruise and about town.

[Sohkay]

Ken,
What an amazing trip.
I hope your wife appreciates what you do for her to maintain these family/friend connections. She should. Your actions show that you love her and Sergei sooooooo much.

[catzenmouse]

Ken,
What an amazing trip.
I hope your wife appreciates what you do for her to maintain these family/friend connections. She should. Your actions show that you love her and Sergei sooooooo much.

Spassiba Sohkay! But it is more like I appreciate them so much that it is easy to do anything I can to show them what they mean to me.

There are times though when I would just LOVE to have an Off switch for Sergei! 

[catzenmouse]

We headed over to the main Aftobus Stanstia to catch our mashroutka to the village get away. The trip was about 1:15 on roads that would stop a Sherman tank from passing and occasionally were all dirt. We get there get into the room which was decent looking but with 2 single beds (when we asked about a double they just told us to push them together, okay well, eta Roosia so we did) and unpacked a bit. They do have a indoor tennis court, a sauna with a warm mineral water pool (I say pool but it was only about 8 X 8 ), a billiard room, a shashlyk and picnic area for parties in the center of the area, a badminton/volleyball area, a kids playground, and horse rides just down the road. And yes, each activity does cost extra so we decided to just chill this evening and start doing things tomorrow.

We went for a walk around the village and around the complex. Parts of the village make rural Kentucky look wealthy in comparison but at one end of the village was a little mansion with air conditioners and satellite dishes on the house, an 8 foot fence around the whole place (with at least 5 large dogs barking their heads off inside the yard), a two car garage with a security camera over it and 2 brand new large SUVs in the driveway. Politician, lawyer, mafia? Maybe all of the above. So we get back to the room and slept our little butts off until about 6 or so in the morning when we get up and go for another walk through the village and try out the tennis court to kill some time and keep busy until breakfast which is not until 10. The food here was very good. Simple fare, but very well done and plenty of it.

After breakfast we got them to start up the sauna for us and played some pool while we waited then grabbed a couple of beers for me and some juice for Elena and went to sweat and soak for a bit. I think the place was a former Olympic training facility that they were trying to get up to speed to be a resort. The management was a little disorganized but so far so good for us. Another walk after lunch then dinner and we were pretty much ready to chill for the evening.

Night of the attack! We go to sleep and during the night we feel a bite here and a bite there and we both were thinking that we were just imagining it and not really being bitten. About 3 in the morning we’ve had it. Either bugs or our imaginations we get up and turn on the light. Well now, I look at my arm and there are a dozen or so little tiny black flies on it and a few hundred flying around us. There is a screen on the window but these are TINY little monsters. That was enough for us. Cheap or not it is not what we want to spend our time doing and it is too hot to sleep with the window closed. Since we are already invaded we shower, pack up, head into town and catch the mashroutka back to the city literally covered with hundreds of little bites that are starting to itch like crazy. Another wild ride back to town and were back at the flat and Baba Klava is making blini and peroushki. I do love the food here!

Village and resort pics:

[catzenmouse]

We went bowling with a couple of other couples and while the bowling was the same paying for a set amount of time and getting cut off with 3 frames to go in our last game did kind of piss me off a bit. As everyone else accepted this as normal I just let it go and did not worry about it anymore. Elena has never bowled before so it was a bit frustrating for her but overall she did very well. Igor has got a major power shot, I’m amazed the pins stayed in the lane sometimes.

After paying up we head out and walk past the circus building and a T-34. Now that is about the only vehicle that I would feel safe driving around here. I could see it now, “Cut me off will ya?!? Crunch, crunch and your little Lada’s back end has now become one with the pavement” Very Zen like don’t you think? ;o)

Another thing I like here is the billiards they have. All white balls with one red one that you break with. After that you can use any ball as the cue and shoot at anything you want. The balls are bigger and the pockets are smaller so it is a real challenge but a lot of fun and a great way to get to know the in-laws better.

We went to a pool hall that is in the hotel near our flat with Igor and Olya. Igor and I shoot a few games and chat a bit with the help of my personal translator (Bless her heart it was difficult switching back and forth so much. Sometimes she would speak Russian to me, and English to her family. She instantly knew she did it by the puzzled smile on our faces and we all laughed about it more than once). Well the bathrooms for the pool hall are on the other side of the hotel building and Elena had gone earlier so when I asked where it was she jumped right up and had Igor go with me. I was a bit curious as to why until we got close to the bathroom and I saw the working girls hanging out there. I laughed about it when I got back but she said that they might steal me. ;o) Dear woman, how could they steal me when you have already stolen my heart?

On our way back from the bathroom I saw a couple of Americans over by the elevator giving a prime example of how to be a jerk in a foreign country. The guy was pushing the button and saying quite loudly “F’n elevator doesn’t F’n work. F’n S’t. F’n elevator. What a F’n place.” I just chuckled to myself and thought “Welcome to Russia boys, get used to it”. Thanks but no thanks in getting to know you morons.

 - a few more pictures from around the city -

[Admin]

Another thing I like here is the billiards they have. All white balls with one red one that you break with. After that you can use any ball as the cue and shoot at anything you want. The balls are bigger and the pockets are smaller so it is a real challenge but a lot of fun and a great way to get to know the in-laws better.

Yeah - Russian Billiards. I've often described it as - Bigger Balls - Tighter Holes -and Longer Sticks.

- Dan

[catzenmouse]

Yeah - Russian Billiards. I've often described it as - Bigger Balls - Tighter Holes -and Longer Sticks.

- Dan

That would be GREAT on a T-shirt!!!

 On the front the bigger balls part and on the back Russian Billards with a flag. I'm gonna have to see if I can get one made up that way.

Ken

[Admin]

That would be GREAT on a T-shirt!!!

 On the front the bigger balls part and on the back Russian Billards with a flag. I'm gonna have to see if I can get one made up that way.

Ken

OK - Should I place a copyright (c) on it ???

 :noidea:

Awww - go ahead - make a million or so - just remember your friends.

Cheers,

- Dan

[catzenmouse]

Dan,

 I'll give you 50% of any profits made or a free shirt. Which ever is larger...

Ken