Meeting girl in her city, what are the risks?

[Trenchcoat]

... if nothing works out, you still have the vacation, and Nikolaev - "city of brides", must be an agency in every streetcorner you can check if things go south.

Isn't that something to be wary off? Now I've had time to think about you mentioning it, is it not where a lot of the scams resonate from I vaguely recall rumour on here off, or maybe it is just me. If there are decent agencies going there I would be happy to hear of any  just in case.

Also, girl is a bit blunt in her emails, now I know this tends to be the way of FSW but when I compliment her on her photos for example she says nothing of it, or if I send mine she just thanks me for them and that's it. I guess she could be talking to other men as well so wants to keep it short but just seemed a bit strange to me.

[STaty]

Also, girl is a bit blunt in her emails, now I know this tends to be the way of FSW but when I compliment her on her photos for example she says nothing of it, or if I send mine she just thanks me for them and that's it.

Yes! It is a problem. Our women aren't able to do compliments to men. They like to get complements

[dragonkid]

All over the world for 50 years of talking with women

Then you must of met all the wrong women, or not met that many. My personal experience is a lot different from yours, i was pressured by a girl from a well off family to get hitched and get married asap, when she was very young, and i was 22 at the time. FSUW are eager to get married, and settle down. My dad was 14 and messing about with multiple women in the iranian regime back in 1970's, he lived a very hectic life with women, lots of women eager to settle down, came to UK to have lots of major life ops, weighing 43kg, still had a woman here, as well as my mother who wanted to get married to him. My mother only has been with one man, my dad, very beautiful, and had offers to go outside, yet settled for my dad, a guy in debt, 10 year older, weak physically, but could charm anyone. If you didn't read between the lines, a woman will settle down at a young age if she truly loves the guy, regardless of financial stability. Too many guys watching gold digger pranks, don't realise many women are eager to build a future with a man they love.

, including my own Russian stepdaughter.   She married but not until she was 26, and she was somewhat influenced by immigration rules.   He is a successful businessman

sounds like she married due to monetary again. Not too suprising, but doesn't make up all women.

My ex-wife married me when she was 31, her first marriage, and was very happy in her younger years.  She decided she wanted a baby.  She had enough experience to know she was certain. 

Sounds like you based your "50 years experience", on your ex wife , and your stepdaughter. You do know lots of people get married at a young age? And not all marriages based on monetary gain last for a reason (lack of love).

Trenchcoat had disclosed only that she was a uni student.  I was thinking 19-21 yo.  23-yo is different from 19-21.

Looking at your previous post, i  can tell you, not all women want to go out partying and slutting around at that age, western and FSU women.

[GatoMoon]

The real question is how long have you known her?  If it is 2 minutes, then will you willingly to fly out there for an 'interview' ?

AS you says that she is a Uni students?  Is it her 1st year or final year?

[2tallbill]

Isn't that something to be wary off?

Nikolaev, has a countless agencies and an entire industry that makes money from
Western men. I would use Mamba.ru that's what many of the locals use. When you
join become a VIP and put some money on the account, maybe $25 and you can
use the search functions to find English speakers, etc.

It's difficult to know how blunt a person is when emailing them in a foreign (to them)
language. If they seem interesting get them on Skype and my guess is that they will
seem less blunt and you can read their eyes and body language when they speak.

Different women handle compliments differently.

Lastly, don't worry so much. You are going to make a mistake from time to time.
Accept that and go. You will find that you recover from mistakes more quickly and
make less of them as you go.

Udachi!

Bill

[2tallbill]

You will never find a relationship if you are so worried about scams.

Trenchcoat, you worry so much.  Please be very careful how you ask questions, answer her, etc.  Your questions, if asked in a manner a police detective would ask, will turn her off.  Be careful to protect yourself but more careful not to make her think you are weird. 

+100 for both comments

[2tallbill]

Then you must of met all the wrong women, or not met that many.

dragonkid,

I can assure you that Gator has a vast collection of experience to rely on.

I can tell you from my experience of dating well over a hundred fsuw and talking
to thousands that very young girls aren't as serious as say a 26-28 yr old and older.

Also young girls tend to change their minds as the wind blows and they tend to think
they know everything even though they don't have the experience to back up their
often idealistic opinions.

[Jumper]

Thanks all for the advice I much appreciate it, particularly the scam I have to look out for 

The city is Nikolaev so it would mean a journey for me from Odessa. She contacted me on a dating site (pay monthly) she is a fair bit younger than me. She apparently cant Skype as she has an old computer/connection or something, she is a uni sutedent. So this makes me cautious. However, from her letters I would say she is typically blunt FSW which I don't mind as long as its not too extreme. I've looked on VK and no profile as yet found. We are only in the early stages of messaging, she just seems happy to want to message, its been about a couple dozen letters now back and forth. She says she prefers meeting in her own city for safety, etc, what the man is expected to do. She says she is willing to travel to another city under the right circumstance if the man pays. So given her preference to visit in her own city leaves me wondering as though scams can happen I would have thought scammer would prefer another city unless for convenience. No sign of any path to scam yet form her, she seems pretty straight up so far in her letters to me.

My wife is from Nikoleav.

letters mean little, talk on the phone, with a third party call interpreter
if needs be. skype viber etc until you WANT to both meet.
  She can't skype? well  honestly there are some really bad connections in that city, my MIL has a poor one and it really is difficult to upgrade it. You'd have to do not only that entire building but 5 blocks down as well. =/ She basically goes to her sisters to skype with us.

Same could be done by your romantic  interest, someone she knows has Skype, or a good connection.
 Also a LOT of young people viber in ukraine,
odds are she has it..and a cell,
pretty dang dicey if she says she doesn't.
 It's also pretty likely certain she has a vk or odnoklassniki profile.
Don't net stalk her, just out right ask for a link to it?

I dint catch?  is this a pay per letter website you met her thru?
If so odds she is working for them in some way id very high.
Doesn't mean she might not be interested in you. but means shes
likely being paid to communicate with you,
and just like a bartender being friendly at the bar because its their income, doesn't mean you couldn't charm her , but
greatly diminishes the odds shes actually interested.


Me , I'd be certain I understood her traits, personality etc  and that I wanted to meet her first.
Then I'd take the chance ! why not?
As whats the worst that could happen? That I meet someone not sincerely interested? big deal
Not everyone is that cavalier about it though.

[Nightwish]

Isn't that something to be wary off? Now I've had time to think about you mentioning it, is it not where a lot of the scams resonate from I vaguely recall rumour on here off, or maybe it is just me. If there are decent agencies going there I would be happy to hear of any  just in case.

Also, girl is a bit blunt in her emails, now I know this tends to be the way of FSW but when I compliment her on her photos for example she says nothing of it, or if I send mine she just thanks me for them and that's it. I guess she could be talking to other men as well so wants to keep it short but just seemed a bit strange to me.

There is a background story, http://nikolaevmarriageagency.net/cityofbrides.html

"
Nikolayev was founded at the end of the XVIII-th century as a city where ships were built. Men were collected for building of a dock yard and the city. These were workmen, militaries, sailors. Besides, personal bonds of Duke Potemkin who lived before in towns and villages of Ukraine and Belarus became the first inhabitants of the city.


According to the documents, at the end of 1970-s there were only 26 yards and citizens in Nikolayev: 105 men and 42 women. Because of a chronic lack of women, men married even very young girls. Most of men were bachelors, and citizens often just ran away from a disorderly life of the dock yard city which was being built. To keep half-dependent builders of Nikolayev in the city, Duke Potemkin decided to give men a possibility to make their own families and gave an order to take many beautiful girls and women from villages and towns nearby to the city. On Sundays they were standing in line on the Admiral Square – men and women in two rows in front of each other. With a secret sign the rows became nearer. And here it was a question of luck. Everyone got his own bride. After that, all couples came to a church to wed. After some time these marriage events got a name by their founder’s name – ‘Potemkin’s marriages.’ And the city of Nikolayev got a status of ‘the city of brides.’"

[Jumper]

 

I compliment her on her photos for example she says nothing of it, or if I send mine she just thanks me for them and that's it. I guess she could be talking to other men as well so wants to keep it short but just seemed a bit strange to me.

Umm, basics 101.

 If she's at an agency, every male that writes her compliments her on her photos.   I don't think i mentioned anything at all  about my wife's looks  until after we met and where dating regularly.

You need to get into a bit more of a fun or interesting conversation than that to get her attention, and yes indeed she may just be working and writing everyone regardless.
Up to you if you want to invest the time to find out if she has any interest, but being a good or inyteresting concversationlists will get you 1000 timnes further than a compliment to someone youve never met and likely only seen photo shopped photos of.
A lot of agency girls arn't going to like compliments as they look very little like the photos the agency chooses to put up of them.. (or its not even them)

Those kinds of risks are just part of this venture , normal.
If you take the red or blue pill, the  Matrix in ukrainian dating agencies goes far deeper ... lol

You seem slightly paranoid, or quite risk averse,
 and  whats shocks me is you've barely scratched the surface of what any real danger would be.

In general you'll be fine if you just use common sense,
and take your time to know the person, so don't over think it.
 

[dragonkid]

dragonkid,

I can assure you that Gator has a vast collection of experience to rely on.

I can tell you from my experience of dating well over a hundred fsuw and talking
to thousands that very young girls aren't as serious as say a 26-28 yr old and older.

Also young girls tend to change their minds as the wind blows and they tend to think
they know everything even though they don't have the experience to back up their
often idealistic opinions.

read his quote again

  Really young girls are not interested in getting married now.  They would enjoy meeting an interesting foreign man for a long date.  Do you want to fly all the way to Ukraine for just a date and some sex. 

Different to what you are trying to say, yes they are less serious than older women. But to go as far as saying NO younger woman would be interested in settling down, speaks volumes of his "50-year experience", that he based on his ex wife, and step daughter.

I know women from dating in west, and fsu, you can find serious women at a young age, who are not into partying, sleeping around, and want to settle down. He posted some bullshit, which i challenged him on, and he tries to mask it with "50 years experience".

[Trenchcoat]

Yes! It is a problem. Our women aren't able to do compliments to men. They like to get complements

Thank you very much  , its a great help to get the meaning from a Russian lady on here. Dating FSW does seem to throw up the odd few issues that I've not come across before. I much appreciate your contribution here it helps my understanding a lot.

[Trenchcoat]

Umm, basics 101.

 If she's at an agency, every male that writes her compliments her on her photos.   I don't think i mentioned anything at all  about my wife's looks  until after we met and where dating regularly.

You need to get into a bit more of a fun or interesting conversation than that to get her attention, and yes indeed she may just be working and writing everyone regardless.
Up to you if you want to invest the time to find out if she has any interest, but being a good or inyteresting concversationlists will get you 1000 timnes further than a compliment to someone youve never met and likely only seen photo shopped photos of.
A lot of agency girls arn't going to like compliments as they look very little like the photos the agency chooses to put up of them.. (or its not even them)

Those kinds of risks are just part of this venture , normal.
If you take the red or blue pill, the  Matrix in ukrainian dating agencies goes far deeper ... lol

You seem slightly paranoid, or quite risk averse,
 and  whats shocks me is you've barely scratched the surface of what any real danger would be.

In general you'll be fine if you just use common sense,
and take your time to know the person, so don't over think it.

She's from Mamba so not agency (well at least not as far as I know, lol)

Her photos don't appear obviously photo-shopped, they look pretty real and non-professional taken. A few of them she is dressed up nicely and she has sent a lot of photo's though many several snaps of the same taking.

Funny I saw a woman on Mamba recently that had used professionally photo-shopped photos (in that they were airbrushed) alongside non-photo-shopped photo's the difference there was stark and she looked much older in the non-photo-shopped ones and not quite as attractive. Maybe someone had commented in the past after having seen her that she looked nothing like the photo-shopped photo's lol. I'll post a link if I come across it again as it highlights well the airbrushed pics I think even though I was aware of airbrushing - tends to give a very tan complexion to the photo/girl.

I think you are somewhat right in your advice that the girl probably gets loads of compliments so pays little attention to them from a guy she has not met unless of course she is up to some other game, but nothing obvious as yet.

I guess for me its trying to get my head around what I am dealing with as I've just said above its a bit of a different scene dating RW and the oddities that come up. They can have a bit of a different way to them. For me I am more confident/reassured if I have a better understanding of them as then I know what the heck is going on and how to deal with it. Paranoia wise I just want to be reasonable in limiting the amount of false adventures a little as there is no sense in pointlessly wasting time & money - I want to find someone on this so asking whether a situation that is unknown to me is a possible pitfall if someone else is aware on here makes sense to me. I'm not trying to eliminate all risks blow by blow I know I have to take a certain amount in my stride without wading through in depth. What is the real danger that you allure too? Just the obvious shopping scams, money requests or something else? 

[Trenchcoat]

The real question is how long have you known her?  If it is 2 minutes, then will you willingly to fly out there for an 'interview' ?

AS you says that she is a Uni students?  Is it her 1st year or final year?

Final Year 

So finishing up shortly enough that it should make a relationship feasible.

[GatoMoon]

Final Year 

So finishing up shortly enough that it should make a relationship feasible.

Good to know    Do not worry too much about scammers.

You don't need to go to any expensive restaurants to be romantic.  Just be creativity.  If any girls demand you to eat in any expensive restaurants then you will know she isn't into you. 

Do not use taxi too much.  Walking is good for romantic - holding hands

You need to book the apartment yourself - not by her even if it is much cheaper, otherwise you'll run in risks

[Trenchcoat]

Good to know    Do not worry too much about scammers.

You don't need to go to any expensive restaurants to be romantic.  Just be creativity.  If any girls demand you to eat in any expensive restaurants then you will know she isn't into you. 

Do not use taxi too much.  Walking is good for romantic - holding hands

You need to book the apartment yourself - not by her even if it is much cheaper, otherwise you'll run in risks

Good advice, taxi's are real cheap if the girl phones up and pre-books I've found particularly at present exchange rates. Though the girl can either end up talking to the taxi driver or sat there in silence looking out of window particularly if taxi driver is a bit odd and the atmosphere isn't conducive to talking. So yes walking a fair bit good idea as it opens up more opportunities.

[2tallbill]

read his quote again

He said "really young girls" which I take as 18-21. They want to get married someday
but not now and not before they finish Uni. At least that's my opinion. A young guy could
easily date them, I just think that most young guys who are looking for marriage would
do far better with girls out of the University and a few years of work under their belts.

[Gator]

But to go as far as saying NO younger woman would be interested in settling down, speaks volumes of his "50-year experience", that he based on his ex wife, and step daughter.

Good grief.

If you are seriously trying to learn something from information posted by RWD members you should consider the following as you read:

CONTEXT.  Always consider the context.  In this case, I quoted and responded to specific information Trenchcoat wrote about the woman he may visit, specifically "she is a uni sutedent."   

To give some advice to Trenchcoat, I wrote "Really young girls are not interested in getting married now.  They would enjoy meeting an interesting foreign man for a long date.  Do you want to fly all the way to Ukraine for just a date and some sex." 

Considering the context, one could only infer I was talking about university students in general.  Trenchcoat had not yet told us she is older than typical  student. 

MEANING OF WORDS.  Pay attention to the meaning of words.  There are three examples in your post of where your misinterpreted words in substantial ways.     

     1.  When you read my term "Really young girls..." your mind confused "really young girls"  with "younger women."  I say that because you quoted me as writing "younger women."    You deleted the word "really."  [Thank you 2tallbill]
     2.  The term "girls" is different from the term "women."   
     3.  I will no belabor the subtle difference between "not" and "NO."  In this case, but there is one.


_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
 
This begs the question, are you here to learn about dating FSUW because you recognize you are much younger than the typical RWD man?

Or, are you here to be another GADFLY?   

Frankly, based on expressed opinions of many members who have read your words, you are nothing more than a punk with bad social skills.  So bad, in fact, you will go out to find something to challenge, rightly or wrongly, just to see your silly name on RWD pages, as if it makes you think you are equal to us.  GROW UP! 

[Gator]

I know women from dating in west, and fsu, you can find serious women at a young age, who are not into partying, sleeping around, and want to settle down. He posted some bullshit, which i challenged him on, and he tries to mask it with "50 years experience".

The general trend is for women to marry for the first time at an older and older age.  This is precisely shown in this US Census Bureau chart (not your women, but an interesting chart).

http://www.census.gov/hhes/families/files/graphics/MS-2.pdf

Question:  Why are you finding exceptions to this trend?  What percentage of the women you date want to settle down?  What are their ages? 

Exceptions do exist.  For example, some women will pretend to want marriage in order to scam a man.  Some women wish to escape from  desperate situations.   Some women are influenced by their culture. 

For an example of the latter, consider this table showing  for different nations the average age of women when they first marry:   

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_age_at_first_marriage

You have mentioned your heritage and frankly I forget.  But you can see that women from many non-European cultures do marry at a young age. 

[GregfromGa]

Gator, you know good and well that you've forgotten more about this endeavor than most of these guys that come here and try to dominate every thread with their inane opinion. Some people you just cant reach. 

[Boethius]

But Gator's endeavour was not with the age group dragonkid is targeting.  The latter is 25.  The girls he is speaking to are younger.

I, unlike Gator, have the experience of actually having been a young woman.  I think if a young woman meets the right man, one who will support her career aspirations, then most young women will have no issue marrying.  I think financial insecurity plays a huge role in women delaying marriage.  That and completing their educations. 

Young WM are different from WM over, say, 35.  They are more egalitarian in their thinking.  That is what I see in my sons and their friends.  Certainly, the young men I meet (and I meet a lot, thanks to having sons) are not like dragonkid.  They aren't thinking about how to bind a woman to them (which I think is not only a mistake, but misguided).  They mostly want an equal. 

[alex330]

It really depends on the community, background, and individual I think. Here in the US there are groups that do want families and the women marry very young. Most of my cousins married around the age of 21 here in the US.


My wife was ready for family and marriage when I met her at the age of 24 in Ukraine. As were almost all of her friends. In fact the reason she left her ex was because he was not yet ready to start a family. 


Generally where I live women marry and start families very late. Into their mid thirties.

[Boethius]

Most women, even WW, want to have "Mr. Right" in their lives by the time they finish their studies.  FSUW are more likely to marry "Mr. Close Enough" because for most of them, their options are more restricted than are those of WW.

[Anotherkiwi]

Most women, even WW, want to have "Mr. Right" in their lives by the time they finish their studies.  FSUW are more likely to marry "Mr. Close Enough" because for most of them, their options are more restricted than are those of WW.

And that, I think, is the main difference between the FSU women that dragonkid has met, and those that most of the rest of us have met, dated and (occasionally) married.  For some of them, at least, dragonkid may well have represented "Mr. Close Enough."

[ML]

"Mr. Close Enough."

OMG . . . what a terrible moniker to be stuck with !!!!