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Author Topic: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?  (Read 10225 times)

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cameraguy

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #25 on: January 29, 2005, 07:13:27 AM »
Ken,
Instant love can happen, although it may be rare. Two people
have to be open to it. The mind is mysterious and I think your
initial impressions of Lena were ACCURATE, meaning your
subconscious brain detected a good match immediately.
Society says that this must just be 'lust'. I say we just don't
know how the brain works and there are intelligent processes
happening without our conscious knowledge. Intuition can
be accurate, intelligent, and wise.  -doug

cameraguy

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #26 on: January 29, 2005, 07:22:43 AM »
Bruno,

I'm not sure I read it properly. Are you saying she is not
beautiful on the surface, physically?

In my opinion, women should be with a guy who thinks they
are beautiful inside AND outside. I only initially choose women that
make me feel like making love to them physically. I think women
want that. When I don't know a woman, I begin with her
appearance. Do I want to kiss her? From there, I go on to
discover her other inner qualities that tell me about her
emotions, thoughts, and spirituality. None of these should
be neglected, including the physical. Obviously, in the beginning,
it's easiest to know whether or not a woman is attractive. The
other qualities require investigation. In my opinion, many women
are lovable. It's a matter of opening one's heart and using one's
head to judge compatibility.    -doug

Offline KenC

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #27 on: January 29, 2005, 09:35:08 AM »
[user=115]Donna_Pedro[/user] wrote:
Quote
Is it wise to be in love with the picture? Is it responsible? I would even put this question as - is it responsible to fall in love before you get to know a person properly, even if you saw him for a few days, most of which you spent in bed? Its the lives of 2-3 people, not pictures we are talking about..

 Donna,

Wow, I agree with you 100%.  (That might be a first.) :P  This issue becomes even more serious if there are children involved.  It may be OK for some to be irresponsible with their own lives , but when children are relying on a parent, then the irresponsibility behavior becomes unforgivable.

KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #28 on: January 29, 2005, 02:09:02 PM »
I dunno...
I think Bruno is exploring a love option via the internet where he can fathom love, without the physical lust factor coloring his thinking.

While I fully agree with the majority of posters that it's crazy to absolutely fall in love with a photograph, I'm pretty sure two people can learn to trust and feel love/affection without ever meeting.  That is beyond a photograph, there are letters, phone calls, etc.; there are feeling involved that can not be expressed in a forum like this.  

That said, Bruno needs to get his butt on an airplane very soon and determine if everything is as he thinks.  He needs to make sure it's real from both sides, not just his.  I'd say Bruno is a classic WOVO, and there's nothing wrong with that, more power to him.

Offline Bruno

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #29 on: January 29, 2005, 03:18:26 PM »
JB, i have already meet Galina one time... and the next time is for May, ... and the marriage for December/January...

From the first meeting, all was perfect but we write always a lot now because during the meeting have appear some thema of problem that we have forget speak about it before...

And like you say, i try to forget the physical side... Why ? Because this have lead to the missluck of my first marriage... the lust have make me blind and i have not see that we was not make to life together...

Doug, i find Galina very attractive and beautiful... but what i will say is that i am not fixed on the physical side... Beauty is something relatif... and the example with the two photo show it... and when we become old, the physical beauty dissappear... i wish find my wife always beautiful, same when she will be 90 year old, and this is only possible with inner beauty, the charm ...

The problem, several man search RW because they have the reputation to be beautiful, marry them fast without take the time to know her, and show her like a trophy in US... Love is first a question of feeling... the physical is the result of the feeling... not the main goal... you don't marry only a body but a personn... with a heart, a mind and a body

 

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #30 on: January 29, 2005, 03:21:08 PM »
Quote
Bruno needs to get his butt on an airplane very soon and determine if everything is as he thinks. He needs to make sure it's real from both sides, not just his.

da!

Offline Bruno

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #31 on: January 29, 2005, 03:46:58 PM »
anono, can you read !!!

[glow=red]I HAVE ALREADY MEET GALINA[/glow]

I hope it is big enough... if i post about this, it is because i know it is working and from the two side...

Чтобы по-настоящему любить женщину,
Чтобы понять ее,
Ты должен глубоко узнать ее,
Слышать каждую ее мысль,
Видеть каждую мечту,
И давать ей крылья, когда она хочет летать.

To really love a woman,
To understand her,
You've got to know her deep inside
Hear every thought,
See every dream,
And give her wings when she wants to fly


Offline Son of Clyde

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #32 on: January 31, 2005, 06:47:09 PM »
If you have never met someone it becomes the Marilyn Monroe syndrome.

You correspond with someone who is physically beautiful and tells you all you want to hear. I think you deceive yourself into thinking it is love.

I have learned the hard way love must be reciprocated or it will always fail.

One partner is usually stronger but it takes two to tango.

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #33 on: October 24, 2020, 01:11:17 PM »
Thread resurrection day! 

We have lots of newbies who haven't read any of the old threads that I
did when I started learning about pursuing FSUW.

Love is an emotion and lonely men have projected thoughts, ideas and
feeling into photos and a few letters. This is why we have an RWD 10
commandments.

Number six is 6. Do not fall in love with photos!!

That commandment wasn't written because it never happened. It was
written because too many men were projecting feelings that weren't
reality only to have it bite them on the @ss at a later time. 

RWD Ten Commandments

1. Never send money to someone you have never met.

2. Always have a back-up plan.

3. Work to eliminate any agency from your communications.

4. Always get the lady's home address and home phone number as early as possible.

5. Verify the ladies you are writing to are real.

6. Do not fall in love with photos!!

7. Always be yourself. Show the ladies the real you. Be truthful. Use current photos.

8. Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process.

9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference
is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

10. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE! They do not exist.


FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline Confederate

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #34 on: October 24, 2020, 01:45:47 PM »
Thread resurrection day! 

We have lots of newbies who haven't read any of the old threads that I
did when I started learning about pursuing FSUW.

Love is an emotion and lonely men have projected thoughts, ideas and
feeling into photos and a few letters. This is why we have an RWD 10
commandments.

Number six is 6. Do not fall in love with photos!!

That commandment wasn't written because it never happened. It was
written because too many men were projecting feelings that weren't
reality only to have it bite them on the @ss at a later time. 

RWD Ten Commandments

1. Never send money to someone you have never met.

2. Always have a back-up plan.

3. Work to eliminate any agency from your communications.

4. Always get the lady's home address and home phone number as early as possible.

5. Verify the ladies you are writing to are real.

6. Do not fall in love with photos!!

7. Always be yourself. Show the ladies the real you. Be truthful. Use current photos.

8. Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process.

9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference
is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

10. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE! They do not exist.

Are you sure? I was hoping to get one in a large package for Christmas.  :P
War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
George Orwell 1984

Online 2tallbill

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #35 on: October 24, 2020, 06:36:41 PM »
Are you sure? I was hoping to get one in a large package for Christmas.  :P

Make sure to order the insurance and keep a gift receipt.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline BC

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #36 on: October 25, 2020, 02:07:39 AM »
As to the topic (which is a good one BTW):

Love, a big NO
Infatuation, a big YES
Obsessive Infatuation, DANGEROUS

Then, of course, there is just plain HORNY

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #37 on: October 25, 2020, 03:04:32 AM »
No.6 is a little out of date, given we can now video chat)..

I have decided, to VO, being pretty sure I really needed to meet the lady (ies) who became my future wife ( and ex wife) .

Was I in love? No way..I needed reality to confirm a hope.


Offline BC

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #38 on: October 25, 2020, 03:46:30 AM »
No.6 is a little out of date, given we can now video chat)..

That's called LUST :)

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #39 on: October 25, 2020, 04:07:43 AM »
No, it's noting reactions to one's words and seeking confirmation of one form of compatibility on lots of subjects


I assume most folks work on the assumption they find/found their intended partner 'pleasant enough' on the appearance front;)

Online 2tallbill

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #40 on: October 25, 2020, 12:10:44 PM »
As to the topic (which is a good one BTW):

Love, a big NO
Infatuation, a big YES
Obsessive Infatuation, DANGEROUS

Then, of course, there is just plain HORNY

I think lonely guys the world over tend to project thoughts, feelings and
qualities onto women. I think it's worse with the "time zone guys"
where they get home from work and the ladies are all asleep, so they
reread letters and think about things often times projecting what they
hope to be true.

I admit that I have been profoundly disappointed when I arrive to meet
a girl and the chemistry wasn't there. I wasn't in love with a photo per
say but I definitely wanted something to be there and it wasn't.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #41 on: October 25, 2020, 12:48:49 PM »
I will share my story i guess

I was in the West, doing casual hook ups, nobody really interesting came by. I one day set my tinder location to Moscow, got talking to my soon to be fiance. We clicked instantly, i didn't actually fall in love with her photos, i was talking to many people (nearby  and in the FSU). I got to know my fiance , she wowed me with her academic intellect, she had the looks, intellect, and wanted something serious. I thought i hit the jackpot. So we started something online, i booked my tickets for maybe 3 months time, i didn't have the money (she knew my situation). At the start i would get weird fights with her, she would cry, but she helped me through that patch, i read some emotional intelligence books, she supported me during my planning of the future business.

We video chatted everyday for several hours, she would tell me whenever she would go out with her friends , ask my permission (once every 2 months or so), even then, she would video chat with me (whilst drunk) at her friends house. We pretty much wanted to get married , just a matter of me getting there.

Her birthday came up, i sent her around $400 (all i had), for the wedding dress , the rest of the money i had i bought a ring (she didn't know about the ring). My plane there got cancelled, it was delayed, , we missed out train to Kazan, her mother let me stay at her place (mother went to stay with the other daughter).

Short story, all went well, i wouldn't tell anyone to do what i did, it would 99% of the time lead to a scam, my case , it didn't lead to a scam. We were two people that knew what we wanted, but the only issue was my finances throughout the relationship , caused a lot of issues. We never argued about them, she supported me, till the very end, it just got too much for her to handle, hence why we parted.

My only advice to people, have your finances in order, it was the thing that held me back, nothing else (even her words)
« Last Edit: October 25, 2020, 12:51:44 PM by japtats »

Online BillyB

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #42 on: October 25, 2020, 02:19:55 PM »



I would tell any girl I'm visiting that I'm visiting as a friend and if something more comes out of the meeting, then I'm open to a relationship. That way when we meet, we are more relaxed since expectations are lower. If we learn we aren't compatible, there's less disappointment. For the guys who are visiting many women, they'll have less guilt telling the ladies you're visiting as friends instead of making promises prior to the visit and the women will be less disappointed if they learn you are meeting other women.
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Online 2tallbill

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Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #43 on: October 25, 2020, 02:41:57 PM »
I would tell any girl I'm visiting that I'm visiting as a friend and if something more comes out of the meeting, then I'm open to a relationship. That way when we meet, we are more relaxed since expectations are lower. If we learn we aren't compatible, there's less disappointment. For the guys who are visiting many women, they'll have less guilt telling the ladies you're visiting as friends instead of making promises prior to the visit and the women will be less disappointed if they learn you are meeting other women.

Everybody has their own style, I'm not faulting or badmouthing yours but I would
do it differently.

I wouldn't tell a woman that I am visiting as a friend. In my case I am either pursuing
a woman or I'm not. I don't want her to misunderstand or misconstrue my intentions.
I want her engaged in the meeting understanding we are meeting to see if we have
the potential to be future Mr & Mrs 2tallbill.

As a woman she has to decide whether she is in or out. I have enough friends already
and I don't have the time or desire for more.

That's my approach for what it's worth.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #44 on: October 25, 2020, 02:51:14 PM »
I will share my story i guess

I was in the West, doing casual hook ups, nobody really interesting came by. I one day set my tinder location to Moscow, got talking to my soon to be fiance. We clicked instantly, i didn't actually fall in love with her photos, i was talking to many people (nearby  and in the FSU). I got to know my fiance , she wowed me with her academic intellect, she had the looks, intellect, and wanted something serious. I thought i hit the jackpot. So we started something online, i booked my tickets for maybe 3 months time, i didn't have the money (she knew my situation). At the start i would get weird fights with her, she would cry, but she helped me through that patch, i read some emotional intelligence books, she supported me during my planning of the future business.

We video chatted everyday for several hours, she would tell me whenever she would go out with her friends , ask my permission (once every 2 months or so), even then, she would video chat with me (whilst drunk) at her friends house. We pretty much wanted to get married , just a matter of me getting there.

Her birthday came up, i sent her around $400 (all i had), for the wedding dress , the rest of the money i had i bought a ring (she didn't know about the ring). My plane there got cancelled, it was delayed, , we missed out train to Kazan, her mother let me stay at her place (mother went to stay with the other daughter).

Short story, all went well, i wouldn't tell anyone to do what i did, it would 99% of the time lead to a scam, my case , it didn't lead to a scam. We were two people that knew what we wanted, but the only issue was my finances throughout the relationship , caused a lot of issues. We never argued about them, she supported me, till the very end, it just got too much for her to handle, hence why we parted.

My only advice to people, have your finances in order, it was the thing that held me back, nothing else (even her words)


Your mistake was in going to marry a woman without having met her IRL.  You were in lust, not love.  If she truly cared for you on a deep, emotional level, your lack of money would not have resulted in a break up.  The fact you didn't have money just hastened the inevitable.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #45 on: October 25, 2020, 03:10:35 PM »
I wouldn't tell a woman that I am visiting as a friend. In my case I am either pursuing
a woman or I'm not. I don't want her to misunderstand or misconstrue my intentions.
I want her engaged in the meeting understanding we are meeting to see if we have
the potential to be future Mr & Mrs 2tallbill.



When I spend $3000+ to get a first date with a woman on the other side of the world. she has a pretty good idea of what my hopes and intentions are even though I tell her we should meet as friends to learn we are compatible. She will also understand I'm not a fool that will quickly fall in love with someone I never met. Before meeting, I would have numerous phone calls with the lady. She will learn she is important to me through my interest in her.
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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #46 on: October 25, 2020, 08:14:00 PM »
I will share my story i guess

I was in the West, doing casual hook ups, nobody really interesting came by. I one day set my tinder location to Moscow, got talking to my soon to be fiance. We clicked instantly, i didn't actually fall in love with her photos, i was talking to many people (nearby  and in the FSU). I got to know my fiance , she wowed me with her academic intellect, she had the looks, intellect, and wanted something serious. I thought i hit the jackpot. So we started something online, i booked my tickets for maybe 3 months time, i didn't have the money (she knew my situation). At the start i would get weird fights with her, she would cry, but she helped me through that patch, i read some emotional intelligence books, she supported me during my planning of the future business.

We video chatted everyday for several hours, she would tell me whenever she would go out with her friends , ask my permission (once every 2 months or so), even then, she would video chat with me (whilst drunk) at her friends house. We pretty much wanted to get married , just a matter of me getting there.

Her birthday came up, i sent her around $400 (all i had), for the wedding dress , the rest of the money i had i bought a ring (she didn't know about the ring). My plane there got cancelled, it was delayed, , we missed out train to Kazan, her mother let me stay at her place (mother went to stay with the other daughter).

Short story, all went well, i wouldn't tell anyone to do what i did, it would 99% of the time lead to a scam, my case , it didn't lead to a scam. We were two people that knew what we wanted, but the only issue was my finances throughout the relationship , caused a lot of issues. We never argued about them, she supported me, till the very end, it just got too much for her to handle, hence why we parted.

My only advice to people, have your finances in order, it was the thing that held me back, nothing else (even her words)

Let me get this straight, you were planning to get married to a woman you had never actually met???

TBH you should probably just stick to the hookup scene.
War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
George Orwell 1984

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Re: Is it possible to be in love even if you do not meet the person ?
« Reply #47 on: October 30, 2020, 02:31:20 PM »
When I spend $3000+ to get a first date with a woman on the other side of the world.

Billy,
I am just explaining my view and hopefully promoting discussion, I am not saying
your approach is wrong. There are 100 right ways to proceed and at least a 1000
ways to f#ck it up.

I really appreciate the bluntness of my Russian wife. If she is upset with me I never 
need to wonder what it's about. I know specifically and in detail what it's about and
what I did wrong (in her view) to cause her distress.

I tend to be the same way. So back when I was chasing FSUW, I tell them that I am
pursuing them with serious intentions and to get plenty of vitamins, fluids and rest,
because they will need their strength.  :devil:

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

 

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