Marriage - Up and Down

[Wild Orchid*]

It is a common knowledge that women marry UP and men marry DOWN, or at least trying to. I can understand why women want to do exactly that.

The reasons women want to marry up are obvious. Women want men with prospects and are reluctant to partner and have children with men who are not doing well in the labour market.

But why would man want to marry down? What do you think?

[Michelangelo]

Down is not "really" down.  It just means that the girl is usually younger and does not have the life experiences that an older woman would have. 

For the man, a younger woman provides the opportunity for children, and a wife who is more receptive to living life large, travel, and having fun.

[Daknack]

The honest truth is for the most part men are not as picky as women.  GENERALLY speaking, men judge women primarily on one attribute: LOOKS.  For the most part we could care less how much a woman makes, or what she does for a living, and most men don't care if shes as dumb as a wet bag of fur.  Now to analyze the aspect of judgement based on looks, most women who a beautiful (from my experience in the US) have IQs roughly the same number as their bust size.  The reason for this is because they always coasted on their good looks they were never pushed to learn anything then to stand around and look good.  At the same point, stupid women tend to have stupid and annoying opinions to the point you want to shove an ice pick in your ear to make the pain stop.  On to the job front, men simply are conditioned to expect little to no economic contrabution from women so we don't care or judge them based on it.  Simply put men are less judgemental and picky than women.  They judge generally based on looks.

Women by contrast judge based on many qualities:  Money, House, Car, Job, Bank Account, Looks, and Pretty much anything else.  It is women that in the end choose men, not that men choose women.  It is they that accept or reject us.  Which by the way is why I find that idiotic concept that its a mans purpose to make a AM RW marriage work "Because we brought them here".  Always remember in the end they choose us not the other way around.

[Wild Orchid*]

What about a conversation bit? Wouldn’t  it annoy you that she knows “nothing”?

[PeeWee]

What about a conversation bit? Wouldn’t  it annoy you that she knows “nothing”?

Men don't want conversation. They want sex. They will fake conversation to get sex. And men do marry down but they trade up. Meaning that if they have a chance they will trade the aging wife for a younger wife. Not always. Nothing is always, but you see it a lot. As a man becomes richer and more powerful he can attact the younger woman. So he does. Actor Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee) did that (a wife of 20 years for a young actress) as did Michael Douglas. Richer they get the younger and the more attractive the wife becomes. To some men a woman has an experation date. Be it 35 or 45 or whatever at some point he his wife reaches it and if he can afford it he will trade up, or down as you say, and that is how it is. In the meantime the woman is trading up, meaning she is looking for the richer guy. The problem is the older that a women gets the less her chances become of finding a richer guy because she also has to compete with the younger and better looking women, and they usually win. Anna Nichole Smith did this and got millions for her efforts. I doubt now that she is older she could do it but what she now can do is with her millions she can buy Julio the pool boy, who is now in his mid 20s, and he will wash her feet until she is 60. Mae West 70 years later



Peewee

[Daknack]

Most women I know even if they are bright want to talk about things that annoy me.  Various insipid topics about hollywood heart-throbs, whatever trendy things are happening, Feelings and emotions about their long lost cat, or any such foolishness.  Its why I enjoy talking to Elena because shes not a dumbass and has something interesting to say (not to mention alot of my same opinions).  I do enjoy SOME smart women (like Elena), but most of them can be even more obnoxious that a stupid woman.  A smart woman often develops annoying opinions that usually differ from yours and insist on beating you over the head with them and you cant escape.  It becomes the conversational equivalent of Chinese water torture.  A dumb woman I can tune out and her yabbering is like white noise.  Sorta like when I leave the TV on at night to get sleep.

Most men are willing to look past the conversation part (as they themselves aren't overly bright or interesting either), and as such I stand by my statement that most men judge women primarily on one attribute.  I'm sure there are gonna be a bunch of men that take me to task and give me business, but the truth is still the truth.  Now men might think that other qualities are a nice bonus but wouldn't care if those qualities didn't exist.  Example

Lets say Cindy Crawford was pennyless... Tomorrow shes got plenty of suiters based on her looks alone.  Now if you add in that shes famous and has some wealth, shes still got the same suitors but they are extra pleased about the added new features.  But they have little importance in the overall quality that men first seek out.

In short I stand by my initial statement but add that I would personally like to have a SMART woman that does not have alot of annoying opinions that differ dramatically from mine.


For Pee Wee I agree but generally only those with a sizable bank roll trade up which is not most men.  Women are far less loyal overall than men and are more likely to bolt for a more desirable mate. Women are interested in the Bigger Better Deal

[PeeWee]

Men don't want conversation. They want sex. They will fake conversation to get sex. And men do marry down but they trade up. Meaning that if they have a chance they will trade the aging wife for a younger wife. Not always. Nothing is always, but you see it a lot. As a man becomes richer and more powerful he can attact the younger woman. So he does. Actor Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee) did that (a wife of 20 years for a young actress) as did Michael Douglas. Richer they get the younger and the more attractive the wife becomes. To some men a woman has an experation date. Be it 35 or 45 or whatever at some point he his wife reaches it and if he can afford it he will trade up, or down as you say, and that is how it is. In the meantime the woman is trading up, meaning she is looking for the richer guy. The problem is the older that a women gets the less her chances become of finding a richer guy because she also has to compete with the younger and better looking women, and they usually win. Anna Nichole Smith did this and got millions for her efforts. I doubt now that she is older she could do it but what she now can do is with her millions she can buy Julio the pool boy, who is now in his mid 20s, and he will wash her feet until she is 60. Mae West 70 years later.




Peewee

[Wild Orchid*]

Listen to you… I thought you are/were looking for a soul mate/best friend/ partner for life ... Looks like  any bimbo with big boobs will do.. 

[andrewfi]

But why would man want to marry down? What do you think?

In truth men don't marry down and women marry up. We look for different things.

Women tend to need a secure environment to raise their current or future brood and thus in a modern society a stable job with a decent income (often, in practice, defined as better then hers and her parents)

Men on the other hand seek a woman who his physically healthy (usually evidenced by youth and good looks - not many unhealthy women are beautiful.) We can also see, from this thread that some guys seek a complaisant sex puppet - intelligence being defined as 'smart enough to agree with whatever stupid stuff I say'

Of course from a man's viewpoint it is easy to see how guys can interpret women's needs as simply being economic and vice versa for woman that men are just looking at beauty and thus the relative 'up and down'. Taint so.

But, methinks the 'security and economic urge' burns abnormally bright and strong in those willing to change country and marry a stranger and vice versa, the 'young and attractive' urge fires the loins of the women's foreign swains to an abnormally large degree.

[Michelangelo]

Listen to you… I thought you are/were looking for a soul mate/best friend/ partner for life ... Looks like  any bimbo with big boobs will do.. 

Well, Wild Orchard, as you can see, not all men are the same.  As for me, sure I want good sex.  But I want much more.  I do want my soul mate/best friend/ partner for life.  I do want conversation.

I'm engaged now.  Yes, she is pretty.  But I did not marry even more beautiful women before her (and with bigger boobs) becasue I was mostly looking for someone to live with and make children with and enjoy life with.  I was looking for my soul mate/best friend/ partner for life.  I'm lucky--I have it all.

[PeeWee]

Listen to you… I thought you are/were looking for a soul mate/best friend/ partner for life ... Looks like  any bimbo with big boobs will do.. 

Yes, my dear. You hit the nail on the head. Men know what women want to hear so they say what ever is necessary to get to what it is they really want. What they really want is sex with the most attractive women they can have it with. Someguys may want a soulmate, best friend, and a life parnter. Boil that down, soulmate=bedmate, best friend=easy sex, life parnter=sex for a long time without having to go though the dating process to get it.

Think about it, WO. What guy would put up with some of the crap a woman is capable of dishing out for a sustained length of time if there was not something in it for him? That would be sex. If he is getting the constant crap and no sex then no wonder he seeks out and then finds a mistress.

Specifically, for me, sex is not my number one priority and I do think the parnter aspect of it is growing more important to me as I get older. But as far as a best friend, well I can find that in the guy that I went to college with. I don't need a woman to be my best friend. I have a policy. If she keeps bitchin' and if she ain't hitchin' then she's gonna be do for a ditchin'. Actually I read that somewhere but it makes sense to some guys anyway.

Peewee

[Daknack]

Listen to you… I thought you are/were looking for a soul mate/best friend/ partner for life ... Looks like  any bimbo with big boobs will do.. 

You mean me or Pee Wee?  I thought I was pretty clear I want both but that I like all males (those that say otherwise are lying) I notice looks first and if that doesnt pass the test I dont bother to talk to them.  Ive dated fat and homely chicks thinking they would be nicer... but in reality they are often bitchier.

[PeeWee]

You mean me or Pee Wee?  I thought I was pretty clear I want both but that I like all males (those that say otherwise are lying) I notice looks first and if that doesnt pass the test I dont bother to talk to them.  Ive dated fat and homely chicks thinking they would be nicer... but in reality they are often bitchier.

WO asked the question, not I. With AW there is a reverse self esteem paradox. The better she looks generally the lower her self esteem is. Odd as that seems that is why I think the 1 to 5s seem as you say. Large and incharge. More cushin' for the pushin'. Are some of the mantras that have been invented by these porkers to justify their overweight, and their attitudes.

Peewee

Peewee

[Jet]

Wild Orchid,
I believe I have married "up". I had no desire to marry down. Looks were certainly a factor, but in my case, we conversed via internet for a number of weeks before I ever got to see a photo. She was able to seduce my mind long before my eyes  .

Large and incharge. More cushin' for the pushin'. Are some of the mantras that have been invented by these porkers to justify their overweight, and their attitudes. 

I've done my one fat chick, my debt to society was paid long ago...

[Turboguy]

I didn't know you drank that heavily Jet.   

You know that is the bad part about the American Bar scene.  Yes, they do get prettier at closing time but then you have to take them out in the light and by the time you really get them anywhere you are really starting to sober up.   Really does help develop intestinal fortitude.

[Phil dAmore]

Women get married because they want security.

Men get married because they get tired of dating.

Women get married hoping their husbands will change, and they don't

Men get married hoping thier wives won't change, and they do.

Looks fade.  Sex wears off after a while.

If you can sit together in a room and enjoy the silence, if you can communicate with just a look or a nod, then you indeed have found the perfect mate.

[Daknack]

Spot on Phil.  Spot on.

[PeeWee]

Women get married because they want security.

Men get married because they get tired of dating.

Women get married hoping their husbands will change, and they don't

Men get married hoping thier wives won't change, and they do.

Looks fade.  Sex wears off after a while.

If you can sit together in a room and enjoy the silence, if you can communicate with just a look or a nod, then you indeed have found the perfect mate.

Amen.

Peewee

[Todd]

Personally, I've always dated for intelligence  and education.  Granted, its not the sole thing, and just because she is intelligent and well-educated doesn't mean it is going to work.  However, if she isn't intelligent and educated, I know it will not work... she just won't get my admittedly bad jokes, and, if you can't laugh together and have fun, you really can't have an intimate relationship that is all that great for both parties over the long haul.

[Turboguy]

Humm, I am still thinking about this one Todd.   First off I have always been attracted to intelligent women myself.  The last American gal I dated had an MBA and she was not the first with MBA's or other graduate degrees. 

The part about not being intelligent enough to understand your jokes I am not so sure of.  Are your jokes that abstract that it takes an advanced degree to understand them?   Perhaps it is just me but I don't associate telling jokes and understanding them with intelligence.   To me it seems like people with average or less intelligence sit around telling jokes, and talking about sports and sex.  People with a little higher degree of intelligence sit around talking about sports, world events and sex.   People with a very high intelligence sit around talking about the meaning of life, sports and sex.

I do not mean this in any way as being negative about you or your comment it just made me wonder how smart a gal has to be to understand a joke.   I too like an intelligent gal but I don't look at it as make or break.  Sometimes there are intelligent people who are not real smart and some who are not very intelligent but are very smart.

[PeeWee]

Humm, I am still thinking about this one Todd.   First off I have always been attracted to intelligent women myself.  The last American gal I dated had an MBA and she was not the first with MBA's or other graduate degrees. 

The part about not being intelligent enough to understand your jokes I am not so sure of.  Are your jokes that abstract that it takes an advanced degree to understand them?   Perhaps it is just me but I don't associate telling jokes and understanding them with intelligence.   To me it seems like people with average or less intelligence sit around telling jokes, and talking about sports and sex.  People with a little higher degree of intelligence sit around talking about sports, world events and sex.   People with a very high intelligence sit around talking about the meaning of life, sports and sex.

I do not mean this in any way as being negative about you or your comment it just made me wonder how smart a gal has to be to understand a joke.   I too like an intelligent gal but I don't look at it as make or break.  Sometimes there are intelligent people who are not real smart and some who are not very intelligent but are very smart.

So a blonde says to a guy that she is trying to impress, "I can tell you the capital of any state in the United States, including Hawaii."


"Yeah?" says the guy. "So what's the capital of Tennessee?"

"T"

Peewee

[Turboguy]

 

Maybe we should have a whole new section for jokes. 

[PeeWee]

Maybe we should have a whole new section for jokes. 

Peewee bites his lip. 

Peewee

[catzenmouse]

Maybe we should have a whole new section for jokes.

We have several sections... they are called banned members and other RW boards... 

[PeeWee]

We have several sections... they are called banned members and other RW boards... 

Kind of what I was thinking and more. I bit my lip instead.

Peewee