Hello from Central Texas

[Texylvania]

Hello everybody.  I've been checking out different sites for a while and it seems many are a scam.  I came across this site last night and appreciate such a community and insight.  Looking forward to talking and learning. 

[Hammer2722]

Welcome.  Tell us a little about yourself...

[Texylvania]

Thanks.  I'm 38, a single father of 7 years. Been raising my son on my own since he was 6 months old.  I have my own business doing art.  I have a degree in film and hoping to get back to that at some point.  My luck meeting local women is horrible in that they tend to end up having some sort of questionable history or mental issues. When I have free time, I like to make stuff or workout.  I;m not big on talking about myself.  Is there anything I should mention specifically?   

[2tallbill]

Welcome to the forum.
You've found us here and the best advice I can give is read, read and
read some more

Here is a good place to start
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

Here is my story
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3432.0


Udachi!

Bill

[BillyB]

My luck meeting local women is horrible in that they tend to end up having some sort of questionable history or mental issues.

Welcome to the forum Tex. Your bad luck can continue the in FSU if you don't choose wisely. Some men here have gotten involved with real losers.

[Bigtex]

Welcome Tex, I live in Central Texas as well.  I was told that FSU women aren't clammering to become step moms, curious to see if you get the same advise

[Sailor291]

Welcome Texylvania, I live in the DFW area.  what are are you thinking of looking, Ukraine or Russia or some other?  I believe there are alot of guys on this forum that have been in long term relationships, my wife and I are approaching our 18th anniversary.  So,  you can find your sole mate.  I wish you good luck.

[msmob]

Welcome Tex, I live in Central Texas as well.  I was told that FSU women aren't clammering to become step moms, curious to see if you get the same advise

Welcome Tex,

Having a child and raising him will be looked on as a plus by a FSUW who also has kids of her own ...shows responsibility.

[ML]

Welcome Tex,

Having a child and raising him will be looked on as a plus by a FSUW who also has kids of her own ...shows responsibility.

Your thoughts are invalidated by the comments here of FSU women and other women who know the mind set of FSU women.

This was covered recently in the Bigtex thread.

[msmob]

Your thoughts are invalidated by the comments here of FSU women and other women who know the mind set of FSU women.

This was covered recently in the Bigtex thread.

My opinion was 'validated by FSUW' I met and lived with on observing my behaviour with my kids ... 

[GQBlues]

...
Welcome Texylvania, I live in the DFW area.  what are are you thinking of looking, Ukraine or Russia or some other?  I believe there are alot of guys on this forum that have been in long term relationships, my wife and I are approaching our 18th anniversary.  So,  you can find your sole mate.  I wish you good luck.

 

[Boethius]

My opinion was 'validated by FSUW' I met and lived with on observing my behaviour with my kids ...

How old were your children?  Was she raising them? 


The advice to Bigtex was that FSUW are not usually interested in raising another woman's children.

[msmob]

The advice to Bigtex was that FSUW are not usually interested in raising another woman's children.

I didn't subscribe to the viewpoint - based on my experience with FSUW with their own kids over 35 yrs- when I was a little older than the OP .. I think it was a mistaken generalisation

How old were your children?  Was she raising them? 

My kids were 2 and 9 ( in the beginning ) and although their Mum had residency ( custody)  - I had Court arranged visitation rights on UK visits and visits to my home in Cyprus

I also base this on my observing 4 other guys with kids, ( from 5yrs  to late teenagers ) with whom I observed how their FSU wives interacted with their husband's kids.

I guess it depends on the circumstances of the divorces and the characters of all concerned - including the kids





 





 

[Boethius]

I've seen it mostly from the other side, where the FSUW treats her child differently (i.e., better) than she treats her husband's children.  In two cases I know of, the FSUW did not have children, and still treated her husband's child badly.  In each of these cases, the children were young, under 10.  In all the cases I am referring to, the father had primary custody of the children.


In one case, the children complained about their stepmother's treatment of them, and the father assumed they were exaggerating (their natural mother's parental rights had been terminated).  But, one day, the father came home from work early, and found his children locked out of the house and unfed by their "loving stepmother".  That ended the relationship.


I think when one has children, and particularly primary custody of them, one has a larger responsibility, and a primary responsibility, to those children.  Relatively few women, FSU or otherwise, have a Mary Poppins disposition.

[msmob]

Relatively few women, FSU or otherwise, have a Mary Poppins disposition.

Once again, not my experience.  I can only hope that those I'm thinking of will see this thread!

[Bigtex]

Sorry, to Texlyvania for hijacking his thread, but this conversation is the one I wasn't sure how to start. Please continue......

[tfcrew]

Welcome Tex, I live in Central Texas as well.  I was told that FSU women aren't clammering to become step moms, curious to see if you get the same advise

There are a lot of Moms out there [from everywhere] clambering to find stepdads and that's for sure

[Texylvania]

The last woman I dated treated her children much better than my son.  A few years back I dated a woman who treated him well.  I would figure the issue of how a woman treats a stepchild is more based on individual personalities rather than a regional thing. 

[msmob]

My observation, too

[Wayne]

Is your art business doing well enough to support you, your Son, a wife and perhaps additional children?

Are you willing to move and live in another country, or will you only stay in Texas?

You know, finding a wife in another country is almost always a very expensive adventure?

[Munshidasmanohar]

Have a plenty sex and make own baby is solving all problem. Mummy then all child, yes?

[2tallbill]

The last woman I dated treated her children much better than my son.  A few years back I dated a woman who treated him well.  I would figure the issue of how a woman treats a stepchild is more based on individual personalities rather than a regional thing.

It's impossible to love somebody else's kids as much as your own.
You can love them, you can try to hide that it's different but that's
How it works.

The optimal situation is the Brady Bunch scenario. She has three girls,
you have three boys and are all alone (add theme song here) that way
you can hide the differences in treatment with the fact that you treat boys
and girls differently.
 

[Texylvania]

I don't know if that was meant to be an argument but you didn't dispell my claim that how a woman treats a stepchild differs by each person.  If it's impossible to love a child that isn't your own as much as one that is biologically yours, I feel sorry for all the children who have been adopted. 
Wayne, I do well.  I was able to support myself, my son, an ex, and her two children.  I've been looking at sites for several years to know some women don't want to leave their own countries which is why I don't talk to those, and yes, all those plane trips would be expensive.  I've helped people move out of state, so I can imagine moving to a different continent is expensive.

[Bigtex]

I believe it's totally possible to bond with a child that's not biologically yours. It's logical to me that based on that anyone capable of love could naturally almost instinctively love a child as their own.

[Boethius]

That is true, but in cases of adoption, parents seek out children themselves.  Those children are wanted before they even come into the parents' life/lives.  They're not thrown together in the hope all will just work out.

In the Slavic republics of the FSU, men usually disappear from a child's life when parents separate.  There is a very strong view that children belong to the mother.  So culturally, it is not the same as in the West, and a comparison therefore is silly.  In living there, and knowing lots of FSUW, I have only known one who loved her husband's children like her own.  She was his fourth(!) wife, wives 1 and 3 dumped their kids on him, wife 2 died, and their child lived with that wife's parents, but visited her father often.  Wife 4 had one child, and they then had another child together.  She loved them all, and treated them all is equals.  But she wasn't a woman to whom a WM would give a second glance.

Not long ago, we had a poster whose RW decided the marriage wasn't working, and she was moving back to Russia.  He complained bitterly that she would not speak to his son (he had custody), and explain that the boy had nothing to do with her leaving.  Her response was the boy was his son.  Another poster's RW requested that he not see his stepchildren.  Ever.  Yet another abandoned her American husband's child when they divorced.  This is more common than harmonious, loving relationships, not only with FSUW, but also in Western marriages, where stepchildren are the primary reason for the failure of second marriages.


Men are going to do what they want to do.  I'm merely pointing out what occurs in the overwhelming majority of the FSUW marriages I've observed.