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Author Topic: Trench's Questions and Philosophies  (Read 112403 times)

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Online rwd123

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2025 on: August 08, 2018, 06:32:34 PM »
your ONLY chance is this --- focus on finding  ONE  girl and  communicating with her -- and once settled on a girl -- forget the rest.
Skype,viber,phone,email etc etc  -- get to know her and let her get to know you.If that takes months --it can take months and months -- so be it.  It may go nowhere -that happens .
If you cannot develop a relationship like this -- it is pointless for you to be on the ground.
Not sure I agree. One can catch fish with a net or a spear. Both require competence and resources. Nets will catch more fish but you'll be stuck with the occasional boot or tin can.

So guys who suck with girls and have no money are likely to have as much luck fishing for FSUW as they do in their local pond.

On Belarus,

I just spent the weekend in Minsk (now in Kiev), nice city for a getaway for those in Europe. I'd suggest anything more than a few days is likely to get boring. Been chatting to locals in both cities. If anything Belarus girls will be harder to meet than Ukrainians IMO. One person I know in Minsk says locals are very aggressive (men and women), much like what Krimster writes about PTSD. Most people have a hard life. As a foreigner you're not really exposed to this aggression, as at least to me locals were quite friendly.

My impression is people there are less open and trusting of foreigners. There is also a very obvious (and smaller) sex tourism scene complete with ubiqutous Turkish sex tourists (plenty of girls are happy to be bought), as well as the typical sponsor/gold digger relationships. So I think it is foolish to look to Belarus if you cannot attract women in Ukraine, it's not going to be any easier.

Offline Jumper

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2026 on: August 08, 2018, 06:36:13 PM »
Tc True. They like serious men....
And that is a liability for me.LOL!



Yet , the same sense of humor that has served me well all my life, works just fine in the FSU.


Just keep in mind, while women there want a man who is serious(about them)
They are women like anywhere in the world.
So they like to be around people who are fun to be around.The first thing many women appreciate is a sense of humor.
Granted in the FSU, it's a certain type they are accustomed to, but trust me Russian men make them laugh and are fun to be with.
That doesnt mean you have to be the life of the party.

It does mean my advise is to loosen up.
Enjoy a date for what it is. Just a date.Nothing more.

Actions prove you are serious.mean what you say, do what you say you will do. Treat someone you hope to care for,like someone you genuinely care for.

Words should remain light,easy going.
If genuine affection begins,there will be
plenty of time for being serious.


Obviously you need to be yourself,
but I'd do my best to keep the stereotypical neurotic English bachelor in the background, not  the forefront. :)
In your profile,in your viber/WhatsApp/skype and text exchanges, and certainly on first dates.


.

Offline The Natural

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2027 on: August 08, 2018, 07:02:05 PM »
Obviously you need to be yourself,
but I'd do my best to keep the stereotypical neurotic English bachelor in the background, not  the forefront. :)
In your profile,in your viber/WhatsApp/skype and text exchanges, and certainly on first dates.

Yes, I agree, but it would certainly be a positive to shout out AMERICA FIRST, right? Hahahaa

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2028 on: August 08, 2018, 07:27:53 PM »

On Belarus,

I just spent the weekend in Minsk (now in Kiev), nice city for a getaway for those in Europe. I'd suggest anything more than a few days is likely to get boring. Been chatting to locals in both cities. If anything Belarus girls will be harder to meet than Ukrainians IMO. One person I know in Minsk says locals are very aggressive (men and women), much like what Krimster writes about PTSD. Most people have a hard life. As a foreigner you're not really exposed to this aggression, as at least to me locals were quite friendly.

My impression is people there are less open and trusting of foreigners. There is also a very obvious (and smaller) sex tourism scene complete with ubiqutous Turkish sex tourists (plenty of girls are happy to be bought), as well as the typical sponsor/gold digger relationships. So I think it is foolish to look to Belarus if you cannot attract women in Ukraine, it's not going to be any easier.

I think you are about right here Rwd,  the little correspondence I have had with Belarus girls, well let's say when pressed they tend to bite back. Ukrainian girls I fine a little more sedate if not a bit wack with their personalities on certain stuff. With Ukrainian girls I only tend they give shit back if they are getting some shit or if they are not getting what they want.

It's good to hear your thoughts on Belarusian girls though from some experience there as its a new area for me so I wondered if there was any difference to Ukrainian girls, so good to know.

Offline Jumper

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2029 on: August 08, 2018, 10:42:40 PM »
Yes, I agree, but it would certainly be a positive to shout out AMERICA FIRST, right? Hahahaa

Lol! No. Probably not that either.!!!!

Sometimes nationality is a very bad thing lol

Ok , a long story some might find amusing.



A long time ago in  a galaxy far far away (probably where Trenchy is from :)  )

I was a bit younger lol and i once went to meet a ukrainian girl in her home town (not that far from where I lived at the time).
She just gave me an address, said it was a cafe,and that by photos I'd recognize her.
I had asked her out previously and she kind of said not right now, but then emailed me a day later and said  I'll call you next week.
This is before much internet stuff in the FSU and she really DID need to walk thru kilometers of snow to the internet cafe to email me.


We did have two mutual friends,in her city, so this was a bit odd set up for a first meeting, but hey I went along with it because it wasnt all  that weird,and she was extremely good looking and seemingly a  fun personality .I figured she had a full social calendar regardless.so no big deal either way.

Anyway I get there and   she's there on time and beaming. Ok.great!
 We sit down and within the first 3 sentences of exchanges  which were limited to how was your day ,have you seen our mutual friends, etc, she starts telling me how absolutely awful America is,and all Americans are, including me, , how I think ukraine sucks(I did not , nor had I ever said anything even slightly derogatory about it) and went on for 15 minutes about what I thought about people, in fact what I thought  about most everything (in a negative way).

I was initially shocked, then as it went on appalled  as it was quite rude in stance and tone, then since it seemed to not be letting up.,and maybe gaining steam, became  amused.

I finally got a chance to get a word in edgewise, to say that I really dint harbor any of those thoughts, and sorry if she somehow thought I did.I was kind of laughing at this point ,as it was a bit absurd,which likely did not help.


 I was still more than perplexed someone would assume my whole mentality off a nationality,when I did not even live in America at the time,nor in my youth. Nor had she ever asked my how a felt, or what I thought,  about anything at all.
 I dint have anything else to do,and she seemed to.need to vent, and now had me curious at where the angst was originating from... so I tried to side track things just a bit and commented positively  that her command of English was amazing and truly impressive.
 To that I got another round of how I must think noone was intelligent enough to.learn another language etc etc etc.
 Pretty much everyone was staring,though at that  at time,(98?) in a Ukrainian provincial city I doubt many understood more than a couple of words.
At this point I actually had gone to the fully ridiculous amusing part, but just said, that it was nice to meet you , but I obviously wasnt her type as she had pointed out every real or imagined flaw that was possible in me , ,and I needed to go.

 :cluebat:

She called me the next day ,asking why I hadn't called her ,acting surprised, that she really was impressed with me ,and when would we meet again?
 I was polite and just said I dint think we should.

She called our mutual friends  ,said we had a great meeting, she really liked me and to try and set up another encounter.

I told them if that's how she was with someone she liked, then I was quite sure we would not meet again.

Despite being short, and quite negative ,its perhaps one of the most memorable meetings I had during those times lol.





« Last Edit: August 08, 2018, 10:44:57 PM by Jumper »
.

Offline JayH

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2030 on: August 08, 2018, 11:59:38 PM »
Sorry to do this to  ya   AJ  ---- but --if that  happened in Yalta    I think I ran in to her also !

My kicker  -hey - I am not American  but an Australian !!

I got a "you are all the same" response !!!

Her tirade was unprovoked -- other than by my presence !

Ironically enough -- I get to defend the US often enough when it gets criticised  unfairly by Australians who have never been there -- so sort of a syndrome I am familiar with. :)
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Online BillyB

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2031 on: August 09, 2018, 12:20:00 AM »
Obviously you need to be yourself,


When Trench first arrived, I told him he needs to change to be more appealing to women. One of the Trench bashers disagreed with me and thought he needed to be himself.

If being yourself isn't attracting the girls, then being yourself isn't going to change the situation. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.

Years of advice here for Trench or anybody to obtain for free. Contact lots of women and go on lots of dates to improve social skills. Improve hygiene. Change your views on how the world works. Change your attitude. Get a better more respectable job. Many guys here are in their 40s and 50s and are currently holding a simple or part time job? At our ages, we need to be in management positions. Not all women are after big money but almost all women expect their man to be past the point of asking "Would you like fries with your burger?"

There are men here that need to change because the world isn't going to change for them.

Maybe I'll give what you suggest a try if I get no more luck with Ukrainian girls.


You've mentioned the word "luck" a few times lately. it's okay to rely on luck to win the lottery but don't rely on luck to get through life. Getting a girl is a lot easier than winning the lottery. Luck not needed.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2032 on: August 09, 2018, 12:29:17 AM »



Actions prove you are serious.mean what you say, do what you say you will do. Treat someone you hope to care for,like someone you genuinely care for.


In Trench’s case it means treating any prospective Mrs Trench with suspicion as she is most likely to be out to scam him, take him on shopping sprees, make him a visa mule, fleece him for a holiday.
One wonders how they treat him in return?

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2033 on: August 09, 2018, 02:23:12 AM »
Lol! No. Probably not that either.!!!!

Sometimes nationality is a very bad thing lol

Ok , a long story some might find amusing.



A long time ago in  a galaxy far far away (probably where Trenchy is from :)  )

I was a bit younger lol and i once went to meet a ukrainian girl in her home town (not that far from where I lived at the time).
She just gave me an address, said it was a cafe,and that by photos I'd recognize her.
I had asked her out previously and she kind of said not right now, but then emailed me a day later and said  I'll call you next week.
This is before much internet stuff in the FSU and she really DID need to walk thru kilometers of snow to the internet cafe to email me.


We did have two mutual friends,in her city, so this was a bit odd set up for a first meeting, but hey I went along with it because it wasnt all  that weird,and she was extremely good looking and seemingly a  fun personality .I figured she had a full social calendar regardless.so no big deal either way.

Anyway I get there and   she's there on time and beaming. Ok.great!
 We sit down and within the first 3 sentences of exchanges  which were limited to how was your day ,have you seen our mutual friends, etc, she starts telling me how absolutely awful America is,and all Americans are, including me, , how I think ukraine sucks(I did not , nor had I ever said anything even slightly derogatory about it) and went on for 15 minutes about what I thought about people, in fact what I thought  about most everything (in a negative way).

I was initially shocked, then as it went on appalled  as it was quite rude in stance and tone, then since it seemed to not be letting up.,and maybe gaining steam, became  amused.

I finally got a chance to get a word in edgewise, to say that I really dint harbor any of those thoughts, and sorry if she somehow thought I did.I was kind of laughing at this point ,as it was a bit absurd,which likely did not help.


 I was still more than perplexed someone would assume my whole mentality off a nationality,when I did not even live in America at the time,nor in my youth. Nor had she ever asked my how a felt, or what I thought,  about anything at all.
 I dint have anything else to do,and she seemed to.need to vent, and now had me curious at where the angst was originating from... so I tried to side track things just a bit and commented positively  that her command of English was amazing and truly impressive.
 To that I got another round of how I must think noone was intelligent enough to.learn another language etc etc etc.
 Pretty much everyone was staring,though at that  at time,(98?) in a Ukrainian provincial city I doubt many understood more than a couple of words.
At this point I actually had gone to the fully ridiculous amusing part, but just said, that it was nice to meet you , but I obviously wasnt her type as she had pointed out every real or imagined flaw that was possible in me , ,and I needed to go.

 :cluebat:

She called me the next day ,asking why I hadn't called her ,acting surprised, that she really was impressed with me ,and when would we meet again?
 I was polite and just said I dint think we should.

She called our mutual friends  ,said we had a great meeting, she really liked me and to try and set up another encounter.

I told them if that's how she was with someone she liked, then I was quite sure we would not meet again.

Despite being short, and quite negative ,its perhaps one of the most memorable meetings I had during those times lol.

That's a really good story Jumper I much enjoyed  reading it :) so thank you for sharing.

For me I think it's not only an amusing story but shows the difference in mentality. In the west particularly more so in recent decades we have been conditioned to say the PC type of thing, to aquaintances, friends, work colleagues, family/relatives, strangers even, but most of all in job interviews and in dating. Can you imagine if you said these days in a job interview if you were critical of anything the company did or area they worked in or anything critical at all, lol. I think we all know that job would be being offered.

I've said recently that FSU girls seem to often have a primeval way of thinking. Surfer had a little similar to this story with the girl he met taking issue with he's view on smoking even though she did not smoke, lol. Gaspar too had the illogical situation in the restaurant where the girl was acting in a wastefull manner despite telling him of how poor she was and how frugal they had to be in the winter. I too have had instances of FSW madness where stuff just seems illogical.

I think the main thing to take away from all of this is to not take it to heart or take a lot of notice when the illogical occurs. If it really wreaks the idea if being with the girl then of course no choice. If it is possible to put it side though as just a weird aspect of FSW that once the shock of experiencing it is over and can be aclimatised too then there might still be a goid case for perseverin perhaps.

After all if all the rest is good then it might be worth excepting the odd bit of strangeness. Another explanation could be if the girl is nervous/on edge a bit/out of her normal habit then it may provoke her to act in an illogical way without thinking much.

I think the first time or so this stuff happens it probably throws a lot of guys. Thereafter I guess it may be something to become accustomed to or hope to find a FSW that comes across as more sane, lol.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2018, 05:19:42 AM by Trenchcoat »

Offline krimster2

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2034 on: August 09, 2018, 09:14:35 AM »
Trench,

my thoughts about what you just described, to me indicate that you might be better off keeping your search in the UK
this is not a criticism of you
just that it might be easier for you in your own culture

it sounds like you live in a small town environment, if so, you need to hit the cities
I found PLENTY of attractive women in the UK, BUT in London and places outside London like Reading
it's easy to get around the UK, I used to take the bus all the time there

I don't have a mental image of what you look like, I'm going to assume that you're at least average looking
I consider myself average in appearance for the UK

but you need to "give yourself an edge" somehow
if it's not going to be money, or the attraction of being a foreigner, you need something else

I'll give you an example, when I was a young fellow attending university, I had a mate, who was very similar in appearance to me (poor chap)
BUT, he was one of the best acoustic guitar players/singers I personally knew
he could go and sit in the campus "quad" with his guitar and play a song, and by the end of the song, there'd be 20 women sitting in a circle around him
i'm not advocating music lessons, but you need SOMETHING
it's also much easier/less expensive for you to travel around in the UK compared to Ukraine
I understand what your perspective is on dating in the UK, but maybe this is just your "area"
to give you an example, in Manhattan, I was "hit on" constantly by everyone
but only rarely in Silicon Valley
and there's a reason for that
Manhattan had the highest female/male ratio in the USA
and Silicon Valley the lowest
so even when I was "hit on" in Silicon Valley, the person doing the hitting was not very appealing to me
and this frustration led me to Kyiv in 1996, where I "scored" big time
look at how mating works for animals
the male has to display bright plumage or perform some "dance ritual" to entice the females
so whatever it is you're doing in this context, is not getting their attention
you need to change this

also, have had many conversations with my oldest daughter about this
she gets hit on by at least 10 guys a day
I asked her why she chose her particular boy friend, who I didn't think (in my generally incorrect view) was the "best looking" or the best car, etc
she said because they were "in the friend zone" first, and it was easier to have a relationship with someone starting from this point
rather than with someone "who just wants to get laid"
i'm not the best person to get advice from about friendship
but it seems to me friendships are based on some kind of shared interests and having a bond of mutual affection
maybe a better strategy for you is to find female FRIENDS first, and then see if you can move on from there
again. no criticism of you, just a thought mate!!

Offline Jumper

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2035 on: August 09, 2018, 10:59:26 AM »
Quote from: TRENCHCOAT
Another explanation could be if the girl is nervous/on edge a bit/out of her normal habit then it may provoke her to act in an illogical way without thinking much.

See? I knew you had empathy in there!.
That  can serve you well.

My guess back then was that she simply had a really bad day, or truly bad experiences with foriegn men /sex tourist ,or men in general .

It did not excuse her behavior, and I did not see her again,but I did try to understand that it may have been spurned by something much more than I knew about.

It was no big deal to me either way,just an amusing incident, and I had no negative feelings about it, and hoped she met someone more her type, or got thruogh whatever troubles she might be having.


Now, my assumption after knowing the culture slightly more, is that it could have been any number of things,including real  sexual harrassment on the job that very day,or in life, bad experiences in general, sex tourists, nervousness,desperation,  hopelessness.
  Then there is a foreign man ,regardless good or bad intent, using economic disparity to date. I can understand some of the many possibilities of underlying resentment .

My take away was a bit simpler though, it was not typical bahavior when meeting someone new in any culture,any scenario, and the simplest one, she wasnt for me,I wasn't for her. Happens all the time,more often than not!
.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2036 on: August 09, 2018, 11:13:24 AM »
Trench,

my thoughts about what you just described, to me indicate that you might be better off keeping your search in the UK
this is not a criticism of you
just that it might be easier for you in your own culture

it sounds like you live in a small town environment, if so, you need to hit the cities
I found PLENTY of attractive women in the UK, BUT in London and places outside London like Reading
it's easy to get around the UK, I used to take the bus all the time there

I don't have a mental image of what you look like, I'm going to assume that you're at least average looking
I consider myself average in appearance for the UK

but you need to "give yourself an edge" somehow
if it's not going to be money, or the attraction of being a foreigner, you need something else

I'll give you an example, when I was a young fellow attending university, I had a mate, who was very similar in appearance to me (poor chap)
BUT, he was one of the best acoustic guitar players/singers I personally knew
he could go and sit in the campus "quad" with his guitar and play a song, and by the end of the song, there'd be 20 women sitting in a circle around him
i'm not advocating music lessons, but you need SOMETHING
it's also much easier/less expensive for you to travel around in the UK compared to Ukraine
I understand what your perspective is on dating in the UK, but maybe this is just your "area"
to give you an example, in Manhattan, I was "hit on" constantly by everyone
but only rarely in Silicon Valley
and there's a reason for that
Manhattan had the highest female/male ratio in the USA
and Silicon Valley the lowest
so even when I was "hit on" in Silicon Valley, the person doing the hitting was not very appealing to me
and this frustration led me to Kyiv in 1996, where I "scored" big time
look at how mating works for animals
the male has to display bright plumage or perform some "dance ritual" to entice the females
so whatever it is you're doing in this context, is not getting their attention
you need to change this

also, have had many conversations with my oldest daughter about this
she gets hit on by at least 10 guys a day
I asked her why she chose her particular boy friend, who I didn't think (in my generally incorrect view) was the "best looking" or the best car, etc
she said because they were "in the friend zone" first, and it was easier to have a relationship with someone starting from this point
rather than with someone "who just wants to get laid"
i'm not the best person to get advice from about friendship
but it seems to me friendships are based on some kind of shared interests and having a bond of mutual affection
maybe a better strategy for you is to find female FRIENDS first, and then see if you can move on from there
again. no criticism of you, just a thought mate!!

I think there is something in this Krimster, the area I live in though not out in the sticks definitely does have a lot less population than London. Probably an older population too. Population size wise it's difference is probably a bit like the distinction you made between Silicon Valley and Manhatten, though with different population figures.

It seems to me a lot like the Tinder situation where you're better off with higher population areas. With my profile I have deleted any photos where it looks like I have money as I fear this may attract materialistic girls. I have gone back slightly in putting up the odd not too obvious travel pic so my profile is not too bland. In doing do though I think like you say it may have taken away the edge.

I would rate myself as at least an average looking guy who I guess a fair amount of girls would not mind hanging around with, be it like you said with the right edge.

As you no doubt know I am no Mr Personality so that is really out off the question. I've never had any musical talent so that would be a no go. I'm fairly intelligent but I'm past the Uni student scene and my interests are fairly generic apart from Architecture but that is probably too specific. I'm generally have a slim/average physical appearance, but have never really ever got into the athletic category - I keep physicallying active and do some manual DIY work but I guess I never really have the time or perhaps genetics to be muscle bound.

I guess I was thinking that I might have a harder time without the look that I might have money in the early stages but get a more genuine girl if I persevere. I know in a lot of cases a girl has a reason to get with a guy other than being attracted to him.

I think I will just have to monitor and adjust what I am doing as I go along. I may have to reintroduce the look of money again to get my foot in the door and just be choosy who I go for and how I deal with her. Once she gets to know me and we get on she probably won't be too fussed.

So I think money is the only edge I can really bring to bear. It's not a total fraud for me as though I pail in comparison to some of the rich dudes on here I think I'm wealthy enough to pull it off.

The friends idea I don't think will work easy at my age, most people anywhere near my age will be hooked up by now so it would be a hard way to it I think. London is not that far from me,  but I would have to internet date or speed date I think to see if it has any go in it. I've kind of got limited time at the moment so I'll just have to do it as and when.

Other than that the allure of the foreign guy does play quite well for me so for the moment I'll keep at what I'm doing. I kind of like Ukrainian girls, despite being a bit out there they have a lot of qualities I like and what play quite well with me I think.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2037 on: August 09, 2018, 11:38:46 AM »
See? I knew you had empathy in there!.
That  can serve you well.

My take away was a bit simpler though, it was not typical bahavior when meeting someone new in any culture,any scenario, and the simplest one, she wasnt for me,I wasn't for her. Happens all the time,more often than not!

Thanks Jumper :) Yeah, I think like a lot of people I used to only ever be interested in seeing things from my perspective. I find a lot of FSW have problems seeing things from the guys perspective - I think they see things are as they are and that's it. I used to see little need to concern myself with how others saw things a lot. As I go on though I see how it can be more and more useful, not to do it constantly but when odd situations crop up. It can be quite a powerful tool to see it how others might be feeling the situation. Not always easy though when encountering a new situation like you had at the time as it all seems most at odds.

I think what I have learned from dating FSW that act in a bit if a bizarre manner is to not be too judgemental unless the girl comes across as majorly wacko like Gaspar's first girl. If I now consider small oddities to be down to nervousness, cultural differences or whatever and then ask myself if it's really a big deal and 'is it something I can reasonably live with' then the answer I most likely get in a lot of circumstances is yes it can still be a goer.

When I used to site train staff on site where I used to work a lot would act out of character as they were nervous I believe. Some would act macho and knew it all already, others bizarrely and keep interjecting with all sorts of rubbish, others would give me a blow by blow run down off their entire work history for hours even though I had never remotely asked for it, lol, etc, etc.

So after meeting a few women and discussing it on here and hearing other guys bizarre meetings I am now feeling more confident in dealing with FSW :)

Offline krimster2

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2038 on: August 09, 2018, 01:02:39 PM »
I don't know how easy it is for you to meet people and form friendships
when I was younger and long before I was married
either at university or working for a big company
I would develop friendships, and some of these friendships were with women!
and looking back, all my amorous relationships, were based on being friends first!
BUT, you have to be in an environment where you interact with a large population of people
where there's a chance you may become friends with some one
it's a "probability" game

I am naturally a shy and very reserved person, my mother was British, it's how I was raised (i'm not a typical LOUD American)
also because of mild autism, my childhood was hellish, my parents put me in a private school, because of all the bullying and ridicule I received in a public school
all of the bullying and ridicule led to low self esteem and fear of rejection on my part
also, as a young adult, when women were "giving me signs" of their interest in me, I was totally oblivious to it until it was something overt, like a kiss
therapy literally saved my life, I learned to control my outward symptoms, and this gave me confidence in myself for the first time in my life
and helped me get over my fear of other people
I really don't know if any of this applies to you or not, I spent a big part of my early life not even knowing it applied to me!

yeah, not easy developing a plan to go to London to do what you were planning on doing in Ukraine
but if you assume (perhaps incorrectly) that you'd have the same chance with a woman in London as with one in Kyiv, and it costs you only 1/4 as much to do an equivalent trip to London
then, for a given travel budget, you will get 4 times "the bang per pound" in London than Kyiv
which would be more likely to land you a hit, 4 trips to London or 1 to Kyiv?

the whole architecture/renovation interest of yours might be a good place to distinguish yourself
this is a VERY popular subject right now
but I wouldn't try and portray yourself as a "handyman"
but to think about architecture and renovation from a visual artistic standpoint
I don't know if you have any talents in this area, but if you do, i'd use it!!
and if you do, EVERY major city in the UK, has the Historical Trust organizations, museums, etc
where you would be welcome and a LOT of these folks are FEMALE!!
I don't know the EXACT path for you to get there, but I'd try to connect the dots I've drawn here
and see if you could come up with some ideas

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2039 on: August 09, 2018, 01:57:34 PM »
Well, I've got one girl come up now that may be promising from Minsk. We'll have to see. I'm also going to try a couple of things to see if it will boost the response rate.

Well yes there are a lot of histoical associations, National Trust, etc but they tend to have an elderly following. There are of course volunteering stuff where there are some younger people, ladies, but you tend to need to give over a fair bit off time. At my age unless I get myself in the situation where I don't need salaried wage or become unemployed I don't really have that sort of time to spare. Also the volunteers tend to be either at the young, twenty ish age or retirement age, rarely much in between. There may also be conference type of stuff but this too tends to atract the near retirement age folk. Most other stuff like town planing conferences etc tend to attract the older crowd. So it's really not as easy as it's sounds, possibly in the US its different but here its not an easy one.

I get your point with London and cost but I don't think it's going to have much go in it as the FSU. Your going to have a load of career women and they can be a bit snooty. Also I would likely be scrapping the bottom of the barrel - on stuff like Match that will be girls with umpteen mental health  problems and time wasters. If my luck is in and London is kind of better than who knows.

Recently there was an article about a UK guy from London I think, who killed his date on a speed boat stint down the Thames. He basically had to take her to a expensive meal in the Shard before hand followed by the 'exciting' speed boat cruise (that went wrong) to even get her on a date. THAT is the ridiculous extent guys in this country have to go to these days to be worthy of a date, lol.

2tallbill has previously said the FSU is trigger happy territory and compared to the UK I find it works for me. I guess I expect results a bit too quickly and lose confidence too quickly if it doesn't materilise soon enough.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2040 on: August 09, 2018, 02:11:03 PM »
Here is a link to it, apparently the guy is now in hiding, lol:

http://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/jul/26/man-guilty-of-killing-date-in-speedboat-crash-on-thames-is-in-hiding

She certainly seemed to get more than she bargained for. He certainly new what attracts the sort of shallow women you get in the UK these days.

Offline ML

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2041 on: August 09, 2018, 02:42:52 PM »
I am naturally a shy and very reserved person, my mother was British, it's how I was raised (i'm not a typical LOUD American)

According to my spouse, it is the British men who are the most rude and loud.
She and her female friends often encountered such when they were out and about during vacations.

And not even to mention British football fans.
I still like Ike.

Offline krimster2

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2042 on: August 09, 2018, 03:03:07 PM »
perhaps "brash" would have been a better choice of words on my part than loud, sorry...
soccer hooliganism IMHO seems to be a "pack" kind of behavior, which seems different from individual behavior, but might be just my perception

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2043 on: August 09, 2018, 03:09:57 PM »
To be honest I guess there is a fair amount of competition on these free FSU dating sites. One girl for example has been viewed over 14,000 in about 9 months! Another has been viewed just over 650 times in just under a month!

If you take just a fraction of those views as guys that have sent messages in then they are still going to be busy girls and getting a look in is not going to be easy. So I may not being too bad in just getting a bit of a response. I mean the girl that has been on there less than a month if she has gotten just 100 guys message her out of those 650 then that us a lot of messages on under a month. She messaged back from my standardised letter a standardised response which didn't relate to my letter at all, lol. Though apparently she does not know English well as she said in her letter which was in Russian, I'm not sure if many of these girls are aware of the online translate stuff at all.

Offline Jumper

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2044 on: August 09, 2018, 05:40:48 PM »
To be honest I guess there is a fair amount of competition on these free FSU dating sites. One girl for example has been viewed over 14,000 in about 9 months! Another has been viewed just over 650 times in just under a month!

If you take just a fraction of those views as guys that have sent messages in then they are still going to be busy girls and getting a look in is not going to be easy. So I may not being too bad in just getting a bit of a response. I mean the girl that has been on there less than a month if she has gotten just 100 guys message her out of those 650 then that us a lot of messages on under a month. She messaged back from my standardised letter a standardised response which didn't relate to my letter at all, lol. Though apparently she does not know English well as she said in her letter which was in Russian, I'm not sure if many of these girls are aware of the online translate stuff at all.

My wife had thousands of letters per week,if not per day.
Still not one foreign man had ever visited her.None.
28 yo,Attractive, single, no past marraiges, no children, reasonably good English skills. Hundreds,  if not thousands, if men had  talked the talk.None had gotten on a plane.
Even if they had ,it simply doesnt matter, those are normal things beyond your control, plus the biggest competition is local men that any attractive women will meet every day.
If she chooses them, she chooses them .

Be the very  best version of yourself ,and never ever sweat the competition.



Yes ,in general they are well aware of online translation services available.

.

Online Davo2

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2045 on: August 09, 2018, 06:47:52 PM »
The girl I'm chatting with had about 1900 views and only 4 of them messaged her. She's in her early 40's and has children. I think that's easiest age group, if you don't want a lot of competition.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2018, 06:49:41 PM by Davo2 »

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2046 on: August 09, 2018, 06:56:17 PM »
The girl I'm chatting with had about 1900 views and only 4 of them messaged her. She's in her early 40's and has children. I think that's easiest age group, if you don't want a lot of competition.

I'm going for girls 28-34 with no children so I'm guessing they get a lot more messages per views. Doesn't make sense if a lot of guys just view but don't message. Unless they just look at the pics to pleasure themselves, lol.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2047 on: August 09, 2018, 07:00:29 PM »
My wife had thousands of letters per week,if not per day.
Still not one foreign man had ever visited her.None.
28 yo,Attractive, single, no past marraiges, no children, reasonably good English skills. Hundreds,  if not thousands, if men had  talked the talk.None had gotten on a plane.
Even if they had ,it simply doesnt matter, those are normal things beyond your control, plus the biggest competition is local men that any attractive women will meet every day.
If she chooses them, she chooses them .

Be the very  best version of yourself ,and never ever sweat the competition.



Yes ,in general they are well aware of online translation services available.

Pain to have so many Keyboard Romeos get in the way. Do you think it might help to put some pics up of me in Ukraine so they know I've made the journey. I've not done this up to now as I didn't wish to look like a serial dater/a player. Though now I'm wondering if the odd pic might help separate me from the write but no visit crowd.

Online BillyB

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2048 on: August 09, 2018, 07:28:07 PM »
Do you think it might help to put some pics up of me in Ukraine so they know I've made the journey. I've not done this up to now as I didn't wish to look like a serial dater/a player.


Girls have their opinions on why guys post certain photos. Your chances of looking like a sex tourist goes up. Early in your communications you can mention you been to the FSU.

If girls tolerate how you look, they may engage in communication with you. As they learn more about you and your situation, your chances can either go up or down with them. If a girl gives you attention, it doesn't mean she's a winner and if she isn't, don't promise to visit.

You should have lots of women to choose from at ALL times. Then you have choices and with choices you need to be smart enough to choose the best out of the lot or you'll deal with scraps.

If girls like the one below flock to you, avoid them. She left her husband that is 34 years her senior and is getting engaged to a richer man 14 years her senior before getting divorced. Don't get involved with her..... for more than one night.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5659181/Courtney-Stodden-boyfriend-Chris-Sheng-shop-engagement-ring.html
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #2049 on: August 09, 2018, 09:39:30 PM »
I'm going for girls 28-34 with no children so I'm guessing they get a lot more messages per views. Doesn't make sense if a lot of guys just view but don't message. Unless they just look at the pics to pleasure themselves, lol.

I've probably looked at over 1000 on DM and the same on f dating and only have maybe 100 on my favourites list

 

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