a GCG Diary: best laid plans of mice and scheming RW

[Daknack]

Elena I have the original tape of the shows I mailed it to Maxx.  I can maybe e-mail it through messenger (maybe)

[Maxx2]

Gary has the diary which I have seen. I was the one who did the photographs of it on the first page. Gary told me she would probably welcome the publicity as it would draw attention to her daughter modeling career. The daughter has her own model webpage.

BTW it was KMEG news Channel 14 a CBS affiliate from Sioux City, Iowa and not channel 12 as I wrote earlier. Dan (?) Hall the newscaster called Gary several months after they did the interview for FOX5 DC and said that his story was something he "couldn't forget" because it was "wild". The interesting thing for me was the really wild evidence they missed .... But you won't

Maxx

[PeeWee]

This is Part 1 of the story of Gary and Elena. I write this mostly for RussianGal and Helen. BTW Gary is lurking on this site. He doesn't mind me telling his story. I got his permission.

These "......."  BTW are the Red Flags

Gary recently divorced from a long term marriage finds himself alone at age 39. Where he is from is not swinging California but a little town in Northwest Iowa. It is a very stable community and doesn't have much of a dating scene especially for a man who is almost 40. BTW here are the stats on his town with a population of 1960 (If PeeWee says "what's this got to do with RW?" please somebody brain him for me.)

For population 15 years and over
Never married: 17.4%
Now married: 71.6%
Separated: 0.6%
Widowed: 8.1%
Divorced: 2.2%

So what this divorcee does is join Match.com. He neglects to limit of miles he is willing to accept letters from. Soon he is getting letters from women from Russia. This sparks his interest and he joins an agency. The letters start coming in from Smokinhotkovas in their early twenties. To which he spends the "tokens" he has purchased answering their letters with a kind "No thank you" explaining he is looking for a woman closer to his own age. After a month of this and allot of tokens spent saying "No thank you" he is contacted by a woman close to his own age. Here is her profile with her age fudged two years lower that what it was.... It was at that time he first notices her profile....



Her letters are divine! And best yet she is fluent in English. After a month communicating with letters through the agency she maneuvers him off this site saving him money which good deed he does notice..... They send 2 letters a day each on average. He wakes up to her letters in the morning and goes to sleep with her letters at night. And boy could she write. Then there was the phone calls. After a few months of this she invites him to Moscow. it is not where she is from but according to her he doesn't want to come to her home city as it is industrial and there is nothing to do there..... So he gets a passport and just in case an engagement ring and off to Moscow he goes to meet her and her daughter. She is at the SVO airport waiting for him dressed in a full length mink fur coat. It was January.

The three of them tour Moscow together. On the 5th day he proposes marriage to her. She squeals "YES!" gives him a big hug and kiss and rushes out of the room and down the hotel hallway tell her daughter staying in their room, her's and the daughter's. All very proper.  

Two days later he is getting ready to leave. She says she has something to tell him as the diamond engagement ring is sparkles on her finger.... She tells him that she works for the marriage agency that he was using...... That the reason she contacted him was that she seen by his kind "no thank you's" to these other women he was the kind of man she wanted for a husband and as a father for her daughter....... He then said to her that the only reason he wrote those other women was that he felt obligated to let them down gently. This made her laugh. She then told him that she doesn't want to do it but she was forced by her employer to send out those letters herself to men. He gets angry with the agency and protective of her with them. But she sooths him down as she lets him know how it is in Russia for a divorced woman with a 12 year old daughter...... As a gentleman he accepts all of this as he is convinced about her love for him.

At the airport they give each other their last kiss for a long time. He passes through the screening and gets in line at customs control. He looks back to get one more glimpse of her only she had left.....  

Back in America the letters and phone calls keep coming. He files the paperwork at his service center, the slowest service center in America, the NSC. He knows it's going to be a long wait so he schedules another trip to see her. He wants to visit her home city but she nixes that..... Moscow according to her is an unpleasant place to visit in June.... She suggests Barcelona, Spain. So Spain it is. Together the three of them (Yes, the daughter too) do the family vacation thing, amusement park, beach, museum, 3D theater, aquarium etc. After a week he leaves. He kisses her goodbye and alone he catches a taxi to the airport......

Back in America the letters keep coming. All told a stack 12 inches (30 cm) high. He in the meantime is getting ready for her. He sends pictures of his house
http://i5.tinypic.com/20idpo0.jpg buys her a car and gets her a satellite dish for Russian programs.

After 9 months her visa get approved by the NSC. Three months later she passes her interview at the Moscow embassy. She and her daughter soon enter America at O'Hara airport. He is waiting for them. The three of them fly to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. From there it's an hours drive to his home.  



Maxx

I can realize the relivance now that I have the background. Well written, Maxx.

O'Hare...ORD...the big airport in Chicago.     O'hara is some Irish guy who may live in Chicago.

Peewee

[Maxx2]

Thanks PeeWee. The pot is still luke warm. Wait until it boils over and explodes...

Maxx

[Maxx2]

The first thing Gary notices is that Elena was not as thrilled as he expected. Jet lag and culture shock could be the reason. She definitely didn't care for his furniture and that was replaced with leather sofas and with it the carpeting. The phones had to go as they were the old fashioned left overs from his business. The daughter demanded that her room be redecorated. In short order everything was done. So far everything was about usual.

The next step for Elena was to get 13 year old Sasha's modeling career going. This is two weeks after they arrive. So Gary is off driving them to Omaha, Nebraska to get a model portfolio started for Sasha. While the agency and the mother doll up the little girl with makeup and clothes Gary waits in the car.

A few days later Gary and Elena get married.



But soon Elena was getting upset. He hadn't done their AOS or gotten Sasha's EAD (Work) and SSA cards yet. It has been two whole weeks since they were married. Gary snaps to. How's a guy supposed to know all these things? But she knew in a "professional immigrants" sort of way. In short order she has everything except her drivers license. Gary teaches her how to drive his car in his business parking lot until he thinks she can take the road test. Her car a newer one waits for her for when she gets her licence. She got everything going in what Gary now thinks was her order of importance, modeling career started for Sasha, marriage for AOS, EAD, SSA and finally the drivers license. All this within 3 months of her arrival and with her car she had her independence. 

Gary was getting know his new family. The Fung Sway (sp) had him amused with the writings on most of the windows of the house, not bringing money into the bathroom or not whistling in the house and so on. At one point Elena told Gary that she had a girlfriend who believed in Black magic. She asked him if he believed in Black magic. He said "No, I believe in God" to which she said "Well if you don't believe in it it cannot harm you...." This conversation took on a whole other meaning for Gary in the future.   

The daughter for the most part got along well with Gary. She didn't take him too serious especially his cautionary advice about her career. All very typical for a 13 year old. She was a character and had an outrageous sense of humor. Gary noticed his wife acted like a sister to her daughter. They related to each other as equals. Sasha did not like Gary sitting too close to her mother and would insert herself between them if they did. At night Elena and Sasha slept together. 



Modeling for Sasha took over everything. When a Victoria Secrets commercial came on TV everyone had to stay silent. The daughter would study every detail. Her ambition was to be a Victoria Secret model and marry Johnny Depp. She would practice her model strut with the half spin and the "look". Gary and his two kids (boy 12, girl 16 then) he has on the weekends would wonder what was this that came into their peaceful Iowa lives....

Maxx

[PeeWee]

Maxx, I like this Gary fellow. He is a kind looking lad. I hope when this story ends that something good happened to him. On the other hand I wish for all of his trouble that he had atleast chosen an attractive woman. Maybe she was beautiful in his eyes but in my eyes I would not have given that one a second glance. Each to his own but I have it figured that if I am going to put up with any woman's nonsense that she better have it in the looks department otherwise I'm not buying it.

Peewee

[Bruno]

On the other hand I wish for all of his trouble that he had atleast chosen an attractive woman. Maybe she was beautiful in his eyes but in my eyes I would not have given that one a second glance.

Peewee, maybe Gary was seeking a normal wife and not a trophy wife for show to his friend...

In my life, i have know my share of beauty queen but a lot of them are really bitches... good for sex a few night but a hell for live together... when you seek a bride, body beauty is only one parameter... for live with someone 24/24, you need something more that beauty only...

[PeeWee]

Peewee, maybe Gary was seeking a normal wife and not a trophy wife for show to his friend...

In my life, i have know my share of beauty queen but a lot of them are really bitches... good for sex a few night but a hell for live together... when you seek a bride, body beauty is only one parameter... for live with someone 24/24, you need something more that beauty only...

That is true, Bruno. I am sure Gary thought he found his dream girl. What I said was that she would not have been my idea of a dream girl. We each have our own tastes and that is the way it should be. Because a woman is attractive does not automaticly mean that she is a trophy. Because a woman is average in appearance does not mean that she will be any more or any less a bitch than the attractive one can be.

Peewee

[tbelknap]

Maxx,

Do you happen to know how much time these people that have had GCG problems have actually spent with their RW before getting married?



Thomas

[Bruno]

Maxx,
Do you happen to know how much time these people that have had GCG problems have actually spent with their RW before getting married?

In the case of Gary :

The three of them tour Moscow together. On the 5th day he proposes marriage to her.

First meeting and only 5 day's for make the proposal... it is fast !!!

In my case : one trip in Russia where i have stay 1 month, 2 trip in Belgium where she have stay 2 week and one trip in Russia for marriage where i have stay 6 week... So, let say that we have stay together one month in my country and one month in her country before be engaged... was not really enough for know her perfectly... it is only after the first year together that some red flag have appear... i have ignore them thinking that all was due to the adaptation phase... and of course, i was wrong...

[tbelknap]

In the case of Gary :

First meeting and only 5 day's for make the proposal... it is fast !!!

In my case : one trip in Russia where i have stay 1 month, 2 trip in Belgium where she have stay 2 week and one trip in Russia for marriage where i have stay 6 week... So, let say that we have stay together one month in my country and one month in her country before be engaged... was not really enough for know her perfectly... it is only after the first year together that some red flag have appear... i have ignore them thinking that all was due to the adaptation phase... and of course, i was wrong...

Bruno, do you think you would have seen the red flags sooner if you spent more time with her.  It seems to me that by spending more time you would have a better opportunity to work out whether she is in the relationship as a GCG.

[Maxx2]

They spent one week together in Moscow. One week together in Barcelona, Spain. She arrived March 4th 2004 and they were married March 20th 2004. In between that time they made dozens maybe hundreds of phone calls and I seen a stack of e-mails between them that was I kid you not 12 inches high. There is 500 sheets to a ream of paper and that is only about 2 inches thick. So you can do the math on all that.

Don't forget she was a translator whose job was to send Smokinhotkova letters out to men and keep these "relationships" going. Even if it meant she took on (usual) the role of the Smokinhotkova. This woman was a pro in a shark infested environment. Gary on the other hand is a Midwestern business man who does business on a hand shake. In that part of the country people leave the houses unlocked when they leave to go to the store. Even at night while they sleep the doors are unlocked. Even up here in Minnesota people leave their cars running on cold days and unlocked with the heat on while they are in the house or in the store. This part of the country people are very trusting.

Maxx

[Bruno]

Bruno, do you think you would have seen the red flags sooner if you spent more time with her.  It seems to me that by spending more time you would have a better opportunity to work out whether she is in the relationship as a GCG.

More time ! How much more time ? Maybe if we have stay together one year before marriage... but i am a working man, not yet retired... i cannot stop work during one year and stay with her in Russia... and she cannot stay more that 3 month in Belgium with a visa... and really, i am not sure that it will have change something... her behavour have change after the marriage...

Detect a GCG is not always easy... she can choose a man she like ( but don't love )... She is ready to be the perfect woman until she receive her green card...

Now, in Belgium, the law have make it more difficult for GCG... they need to stay married during 3 year, living at the same address... a claim of DV don't lead directly to a green card, solid evidence are needed and moral DV violence don't exist here... In some way, i feel myself more secure since now almost all GCG target the USA where it is possible to have a green card in a few month by using false DV claim...

In some way, a GCG is not very different that a gold digger... They act the perfect women to reach own goal... How much American men are victim of local gold digger... Women who marry rich men, collect info on all asset and when come the time of divorce, they rip the jackpot...

I don't think that time can change something... once a GCG have you under control, it is very difficult to see trough her planned scenario, she will act until she reach her goal... the only method for be sure at almost 100% will be the use of a lie detector  combined with pentothal  ...

The only one method for not be victim of a GCG is hunting women who have the same passport that yourself...

[tbelknap]

Bruno, I was talking about living with her for a longer time before getting married.  I understand you can't take a year off but how much time did the two of you live together before getting married?

[Bruno]

Bruno, I was talking about living with her for a longer time before getting married.  I understand you can't take a year off but how much time did the two of you live together before getting married?

Like the big majority of people here, i can say that the time was zero... usual meeting in her or your country don't really count since in each case, one of the partner is like in holiday... the best way is living together with both usual way of life but this is almost impossible with foreign women... only local one, from same city allow this...

If you count the time of meeting, in my case, it is around 3 month together before the marriage ( make in Russia )...

Now, for my actual girlfriend ( Ukraine ), it is only 3 week... can maybe add two week for her planned coming in Belgium ( January 2007 )... but the case is a little different... our communication is better, we have a good common language, she was never seeking a foreign husband or seeking go outside her country...

If i good remember my friend Einstein, time is something relatif... long time together with a partner that you don't know really, that you have difficulty to communicate with mean almost nothing... Relationship is a complex equation with a lot of parameter... If a miracle recept was existing for find the perfect love, everybody will be married and nobody will be divorced.

You ask for a time together... but only you can reply to this... one week can be enough if you already know your partner perfectly but one life will be not enough if you don't know her and you are not able to communicate in a good way... if both of you are shy, maybe more tme will be needed... and when i speak of communication, i don't mean love letter/dialogue... but i mean speaking about all and everything like children, work, study, religion, money, home... all who is related to a life together...

GCG story are sad story but they are not the majority of case... Maxx, Gary, myself can explain our story but it will be very difficult to give advice for help people not know so situation... since each story is very different, red flag are other... the only interesting thing for other is more about the procedure when someone is victim of GCG for limit the destruction...

[tbelknap]

Thanks for the post Bruno.  I agree with a lot of what you say.  It seemed like this thread was about sorting out if the woman is a GCG.  So I decided to ask that question because I haven't really seen it addressed.

I do agree that some people can get engaged and be married after a week and have it work out.  While there are people that have been living together after 2 years and get married to find themselves divorced the next year. 

I still believe that you have a greater chance of falling victim to a GCG by not giving yourself enough time with your RW.  I would even go so far as say to live with her when you go to visit.  I know that some of them as well as gold diggers can put up a good act but it will be harder when they are around you 24 hours a day for a couple of weeks. 

I do think it is far easier to fake letters and phone conversations because they don't require a lot of time compared to trying to fake it 24 hours a day for 1 - 2 weeks.  By doing this I would think it would decrease your odds greatly.  I am sure there will always be the risk regardless of whom you date.

[Maxx2]

Sorry tbelknap for not being concise and to the point. I was hoping some of the "grey beards" or old timers of this board would jump in and start disecting what I wrote and start explaning what the red flags were for Gary and others. I was just going to tell the story which is really amazing (I haven't got to the good parts yet) and hoped they would pickup on the rest. Usually I can count on them for showing you newbies on how smart they are..... But apparently they grown out of that......

OK, I will do the next part and at the end sum up all the red flags of Gary's case.

Maxx

[Jet]

I was hoping some of the "grey beards" or old timers of this board would jump in and start disecting what I wrote and start explaning what the red flags were for Gary and others.

What, and tip off all the young aspiring GCGs who are tuning in? 

I will say this though, if you thought the first red flag was that she wanted the first meeting to be in Moscow rather than her town - odds are you're wrong  (but it wasn't very long after that...)

Further, if she was any good at all about being a "bad girl", she would have convinced him that Barcelona was HIS idea! 

[Maxx2]

Thanks Jet. Most GCGs are so arrogant with their feelings of mental superiority over their "mule" they don't try too hard to be careful. And usually they don't need to be. Remember my ex telling me the reason why I shouldn't meet her father? "He would have a heart attack" The real reason was that he was close to his former son-in-law as this man was kind to him. While it was my ex who (had?) treated him badly with her "woman's solidarity" with her mother. Her parents were divorced when she was a teenager. There also might have been some fear of interferance with their child if her husband found out about me via my then father-in-law.

1) In short if they lie to you for any reason look closer and really consider pulling the plug.
2) Consider that there is allot of intrigue going on in the background and the outcome may not be good for you.

I'm working on the next part now.

Maxx

[Maxx2]

I am transfering this story in it's entirety to a new thread in the Scams section.

Dan if you want you can lock this thread

Maxx

[2tallbill]

I saw Maxx's story and thought that I would bump it up for newer members to read

[Maxx2]

I saw Maxx's story and thought that I would bump it up for newer members to read

Thank you Bill. It was a subject I was passionate about 14 to 18 years ago.

[Maxx2]

WOW They made even DVD (how much they cost? )

BTW Where is this woman now? ( and was she aware about such publicity or may be she got money for her diary? ) Just curiouse

Last I heard she is living in Florida with her daughter. Her daughter's super model ambitions had failed. I heard other not so nice things about how they make their living but this was years ago. Maybe they are now model US citizens?