need advice, please.

[IamMaiC]

Ok,   my initial thread here was "if a woman wants to come and meet a man?"  wasn't sure where to put this thread.   so here it is.....

it was about my meeting with a young lady....alina.   and in the end it did not work out.   she is a DJ.  she performs with another woman.  Irina.   under the name DJ Duo Husky.

I like this type of music.   club music,  dance music. 

I made a webpage for these two.  at a popular social website.   I have gotten many fans to the page.  one day,  a man messaged me.   thinking I was either Alina or Irina. 

 it surprised me.....I told him I was page admin.   we started talking and he told me why he messaged the page.  he writes to Alina at jump4love.    I didn't tell him,  I also write her.   but by her personal email.   but it is only friendly back and forth. 

well,  he told me he loves her....also told me he lost his wife to cancer.   

he also told me he is in dire circumstance.   what he means,  he never tells me.   but,  he did tell me.  he wants to sell his home.  so he can be with alina.   he wants to start over.   he wants to live in ukraine.

he has also been writing alina for 3 years at jump4love.   

I didn't meet alina by the websites.    I was lucky.   but it ended badly,  because I did not take advantage of it.  the chance I had.    you can read about it at  "if a woman wants to come meet a man?"   here at the forum.

my question is,   is he being taken advantage of?    I asked him if she has asked for anything?   money...etc.   he said no.

is 3 years too long to write someone from Ukraine? 

I think he is being taken advantage of.    and I am asking for advice.    maybe suggest to him to stop?  or is it too late? 

thanks.

IamMaiC

Alina is in picture.   

[treadmilldude]

Good ole little Alina. Yeah, I wasted about $160 of my hard-earned money video chatting with Alina back in May 2015 I believe, about  2 1/2 years ago on ADate....then I discovered VK in I believe May 2015...found Alina instantly on VK, and instantly discovered 2/3 of everything she told me about herself were lies. I confronted her on her lies then I said Good Riddance to her. You remember me I am sure, I tried to warn you about Alina. Evidently, you did not listen to my warnings. Now, this other poor Man is falling for the  "Alina bullshit".  So unfortunate.

You would be doing him a huge favor to tell him to avoid Alina like the Bubonic Plague. In fact, Alina is less useful than the Bubonic Plague. In fact, comparing Alina to the Bubonic Plague is an insult to the Bubonic Plague.

Is Alina still on Page 1 of Anastasiadate?   

Remember Jumper's thoughts about Alina? Please go back and read Jumper's opinions on Alina. Jumper knows what he is talking about.

So you have been wasting years and years of your life on Alina??? (Face In Hands)   

[IamMaiC]

treadmilldude,    could you explain to me.  what she lied about.   I have seen her VK profile.  and it just has pictures on it.   if you could explain,  I may help this man.   she is no longer on anastasiadate...just to inform you.  she is no longer interested in me romantically.  I never wrote her on websites.  it's over between us.  as a couple that is. 

thanks. 

IamMaiC

[IamMaiC]

Remember Jumper's thoughts about Alina? Please go back and read Jumper's opinions on Alina. Jumper knows what he is talking about.

you may have jumper confused with someone else.....he told me to meet her. 

[treadmilldude]

Last I spoke to her was 29 months ago, May 2015 I believe. I do not remember almost anything we talked about. I can promise you she lied to me about 2/3 of the things she told me. When confronted, she did not deny lying to me, rather she simply apologized profusely for lying and begged me to give her a second chance.

I am a busy guy, I am sorry. I work 57 hours per week, I spend time with my Mom, Dad, Sister and her Family, my male and female friends. I go to the gym 6 days per week. I wake up at 4:30 AM 6 days per week to go running. I have 2 Male Cats I love more than life itself. I live, eat, breathe, sleep, fantasize Dallas Cowboys' Football. I have a busy life. As such, I do not remember really anything we talked about 29 months ago, I am sorry.

You can meet a wonderful girl in Ukraine by using: Mila Lobunko in Kharkiv, Stirlitz in Kiev, Mordinson's Marriage Agency in Kharkiv, KievConnections.com in Kiev (I know the owner Brett Ousley and he is an incredibly nice man, lives in Atlanta and is a CPA. Brett's wife Alla is also very very sweet, I have also skyped with Alla about 4 years ago as well. Brett and Alla are very nice people) Eduard's concierge service in Florida, US, MAMBA and VK. I do not personally like FDating - extremely high percentage of overweight women - but many guys on RWD swear by FDating, and they have infinitely more experience in FSUW dating then I do, so I'd trust their opinion much more than I would trust treadmilldude's opinion. Treadmilldude's opinion ain't worth much.

Off the top of my head, Jone, Nightwish, Anotherkiwi, Lyndontom, Davo, LAMan, JayH and a few others I am forgetting are currently actively searching.....all of them have infinitely more wisdom, knowledge and experience than I do .....do not listen to a newbie like me, but listen to them and contact them through PM for assistance. They can help you a lot more than I can. 

Anastasiadate is probably not the best way to meet a genuine, marriage-minded Slavic girl, I am sorry. In fact, it is the worst possible way to meet a nice girl. Please do not use ADate even if Alina begs you to.

[Steamer]

I may help this man.

It will not be appreciated. Think about how it will sound to this guy, past romantic interest is telling current interest to stay away. It sounds like you regret losing this one and now are trying to re-insert yourself into her life.

[IamMaiC]

Last I spoke to her was 29 months ago, May 2015 I believe. I do not remember almost anything we talked about. I can promise you she lied to me about 2/3 of the things she told me. When confronted, she did not deny lying to me, rather she simply apologized profusely for lying and begged me to give her a second chance.

I am a busy guy, I am sorry. I work 57 hours per week, I spend time with my Mom, Dad, Sister and her Family, my male and female friends. I go to the gym 6 days per week. I wake up at 4:30 AM 6 days per week to go running. I have 2 Male Cats I love more than life itself. I live, eat, breathe, sleep, fantasize Dallas Cowboys' Football. I have a busy life. As such, I do not remember really anything we talked about 29 months ago, I am sorry.

You can meet a wonderful girl in Ukraine by using: Mila Lobunko in Kharkiv, Stirlitz in Kiev, Mordinson's Marriage Agency in Kharkiv, KievConnections.com in Kiev (I know the owner Brett Ousley and he is an incredibly nice man, lives in Atlanta and is a CPA. Brett's wife Alla is also very very sweet, I have also skyped with Alla about 4 years ago as well. Brett and Alla are very nice people) Eduard's concierge service in Florida, US, MAMBA and VK. I do not personally like FDating - extremely high percentage of overweight women - but many guys on RWD swear by FDating, and they have infinitely more experience in FSUW dating then I do, so I'd trust their opinion much more than I would trust treadmilldude's opinion. Treadmilldude's opinion ain't worth much.

Off the top of my head, Jone, Nightwish, Anotherkiwi, Lyndontom, Davo, LAMan, JayH and a few others I am forgetting are currently actively searching.....all of them have infinitely more wisdom, knowledge and experience than I do .....do not listen to a newbie like me, but listen to them and contact them through PM for assistance. They can help you a lot more than I can. 

Anastasiadate is probably not the best way to meet a genuine, marriage-minded Slavic girl, I am sorry. In fact, it is the worst possible way to meet a nice girl. Please do not use ADate even if Alina begs you to.

I am 48 years old.   and when I met alina.   she was with Irina.  her partner DJ.   I showed them around.  we went to different places.  but I could tell from the meeting it did not go well.  but I asked her if we could stay in touch.  she said yes.  maybe that's were I blew it.  not sure.   I thank you for the info.   

I joined anastasia date back in 2012.  I never liked the site.  every girl was hot.  and mostly young.  I go to visit it, every once in a while.  I saw Alina on it.  also her partner Irina.   I chatted with one girl one time.  and it did not last long.  it was not worth the time. 

I noticed one thing about the site recently.   they have all types of women on it now.   every type.  different ages.  but I still don't trust it.   I recently seen alina was gone though.  meaning her profile.  I still write alina.   but not often.  once or twice a month.   she answers.   I guess being nice.   I know one day she won't.   just a feeling. 

[IamMaiC]

It will not be appreciated. Think about how it will sound to this guy, past romantic interest is telling current interest to stay away. It sounds like you regret losing this one and now are trying to re-insert yourself into her life.

he dosen't know I met her.   he seems like a nice guy.  but about to do some crazy things.  for a 26 year old girl.   I just started this thread to get some advice. 

his friend owns a bar/nightclub.    he was going to hire Alina and Irina to DJ.   just so this man could meet her. 

re-insert me in her life?   I already blew it with her.   nothing is going to fix that.   

he comes to me for advice....even if I get advice here.   it probably will not change how he feels.    I was only asking. 

[LAman]

I am 48 years old.   and when I met alina.   she was with Irina.  her partner DJ.   I showed them around.  we went to different places.  but I could tell from the meeting it did not go well.  but I asked her if we could stay in touch.  she said yes.  maybe that's were I blew it.  not sure.   I thank you for the info.   

 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I still write alina.   but not often.  once or twice a month.   she answers.   I guess being nice.   I know one day she won't.   just a feeling.

You blew it? IMO, on one hand either chemistry or not and on the other NOT right place at right time. Which was it? Well definitely wrong place at wrong time. Alina has her life filled with what is important to her at this time. You were in the background, a pawn in a chess game. I wonder if you wanted to stay in touch because down the road you would/might get another chance with her. Maybe, maybe not.

AS for this guy you speak of, wouldn't offer anything but if asked questions about Alina, tell your experiences. You cannot tell somebody something if they do not want to hear it. Crash and burn is best way for some to learn.

* thanks ML , didn't notice..... in chest game

[ML]

You were in the background, a pond in a chess game.

Must be a different chess game than I have ever played.

[BillyB]

well,  he told me he loves her....also told me he lost his wife to cancer.   

he also told me he is in dire circumstance.   what he means,  he never tells me.   but,  he did tell me.  he wants to sell his home.  so he can be with alina.   he wants to start over.   he wants to live in ukraine.

he has also been writing alina for 3 years at jump4love.   

A desperate and depressed guy about to make a colossal mistake of selling everything he owns and move to another country for a girl who made no commitment to him.


Tell him to participate at this forum. You alone may not be able to help him. He needs to have information coming from all directions. Some will be helpful, others will tell him of his foolish ways.

Good ole little Alina. Yeah, I wasted about $160 of my hard-earned money video chatting with Alina back in May 2015 I believe, about  2 1/2 years ago on ADate....then I discovered VK in I believe May 2015...found Alina instantly on VK, and instantly discovered 2/3 of everything she told me about herself were lies.

At ADate, you don't know if you were trading love letters with a man or woman. Alina can't lie if you were communicating with an agency employee. IamMaiC has actually met her and he doesn't call her a liar or scammer. He actually admits he had a chance for a relationship with the woman and messed up on his end.

[Boethius]

I would tell him, hire the best leasing agent in your region, put your stuff in storage, and rent out your home for a year.  Ukraine is not a place to grow old, or require good medical care.  It is incredibly corrupt.  That way, he can try things and then make a decision.


If he has a good job, I'd say ditch the plan, just visit for 3 weeks and see how it goes.  Best time to extend the vacation time would be Christmas. 

[lyndontom]

You can meet a wonderful girl in Ukraine by using: Mila Lobunko in Kharkiv, Stirlitz in Kiev, Mordinson's Marriage Agency in Kharkiv, KievConnections.com in Kiev (I know the owner Brett Ousley and he is an incredibly nice man, lives in Atlanta and is a CPA. Brett's wife Alla is also very very sweet, I have also skyped with Alla about 4 years ago as well. Brett and Alla are very nice people) Eduard's concierge service in Florida, US, MAMBA and VK. I do not personally like FDating - extremely high percentage of overweight women - but many guys on RWD swear by FDating, and they have infinitely more experience in FSUW dating then I do, so I'd trust their opinion much more than I would trust treadmilldude's opinion. Treadmilldude's opinion ain't worth much.

Off the top of my head, Jone, Nightwish, Anotherkiwi, Lyndontom, Davo, LAMan, JayH and a few others I am forgetting are currently actively searching.....all of them have infinitely more wisdom, knowledge and experience than I do .....do not listen to a newbie like me, but listen to them and contact them through PM for assistance. They can help you a lot more than I can.

I appreciate the reference TMD, though I am not sure I have infinitely more wisdom either! I can, however, confirm I sspent some time again with Mila this summer in Kharkiv who was as great and supportive as ever.


I'm taking some time away from actively searching after things didn't work out with the last lady I was seeing in Ukraine. I was seeing a lady locally recently, but my work life has been so hectic it's not really the right time for me to focus on much else.


Coincidentally, I was working away in India for a few weeks until a few days ago and went to shoot some pool in a sports bar. On the ball, a montage of all previous DJ's and singers...the Husky Duo were right in the middle and I recognised them from their Facebook page.


I've seen both on the girls on agency website previously, though I never took it as plausible they'd both be actively or seriously searching, given their popularity and (I assume) busy career schedule in their own right.

[Jumper]

Initially you came here and asked should you meet this hot dj ,that you had been communicating with, that was already coming to your area of the usa.
  I certainly said,sure why not ?go meet her. You never know ,and she's going to be nearby anyway!
I never had any expectation of whether   she'd be interested or not interested, but I kind of figured with her career,and knowing how that plays out in the FSU, that she would not be unless you benefitted her career in some way,just how that normally is.
But hey, why not meet her, as who knows.no harm no foul.

As far as getting involved with some love struck  desperate man making poor choices,  no idea.
He is an adult man, she hasn't asked him to do anything from, what you've told.
It's doubtful you could change his mind regardless and will just come off as some previously jilted suitor.


If he is recently widowed, he should take quite some time before becoming  involved with anyone, much less a aspiring actress/cocktail waitress/exotic dancer in Hollywood,   or a hot young dj from the fsu whose motivations are likely a bit more mercenary than not.

Odds you can get that across are slim.it's your own call on whether to try.

[BillyB]

he has also been writing alina for 3 years at jump4love.   

Normal women aren't going to waste 3 years writing a man that can't make a decision. Jump4love is pay to play so most likely, most, if not all the guys letters he received from Alina is from an agency employee. If Alina did in fact read 3 years of his letters, she'd probably won't respect him. He can't win her love if she doesn't respect him. She'd also question his worth. Three years and can't catch a woman gets the guy a bad label.

[IamMaiC]

Normal women aren't going to waste 3 years writing a man that can't make a decision. Jump4love is pay to play so most likely, most, if not all the guys letters he received from Alina is from an agency employee. If Alina did in fact read 3 years of his letters, she'd probably won't respect him. He can't win her love if she doesn't respect him. She'd also question his worth. Three years and can't catch a woman gets the guy a bad label.

he has told me this.   not sure when his wife passed away.   he started writing alina sometime in 2015.  he's also chatted with her on camera.   he has seen her several times.   also after she has performed at some nightclub. where ever it was in the world.   due to her dress. 

I asked him,  if he ever talked to her about meeting.....she always gave the excuse.   "my work can call me at any time"   "I could be out of the country" 

not sure if any at the forum sent gifts,  but he has.    a single flower.   he shared the picture with me.    I will ask him to join the forum......I doubt he will. 

I never told him I met her,   I think that would drive him over the edge.   if he's not there already. 

[IamMaiC]

 IamMaiC has actually met her and he doesn't call her a liar or scammer.

a scammer....I don't know about that.    a liar....no,  because she met me in kyiv.    if she didn't then....yeah.   she would be a liar. 

[BillyB]

I never told him I met her,   I think that would drive him over the edge.   

You may have to drive him over the edge so he'd back off and wake up to reality. He's living in fantasy land if he thinks Alina wasn't dating anybody and waiting three years only for him.

[JayH]

my question is,   is he being taken advantage of?    I asked him if she has asked for anything?   money...etc.   he said no.

is 3 years too long to write someone from Ukraine? 

I think he is being taken advantage of.    and I am asking for advice.    maybe suggest to him to stop?  or is it too late? 

thanks.

IamMaiC

Ask the guy to send you copies of the letters from the website( J4L) from "her" .
That will answer your question about him being misled.
Then find link connections on discussion of the websites here on forum . Of note -- the j4l site is in the stable of Dream Marriage, HRB,RLM etc  etc etc etc. Discussion of Anastasia Date  -- and the points made-- apply equally to all those  sites . A girl may not even know the name of sites her profile appears on and that she is chatting--even if it is actually her doing chat time.

It is never too late !!

You can read current threads here ( and a 1000 previously) where an OP declines to believe what he is being told .

I am on record here as saying anything is possible -- but -- but -- the odds are heavily against a guy.  I also will repeat--  there are genuine girls on notorious sites -- but -- finding them in all the mire is not so easy -- and it will cost( $ & time) via the many false leads it will throw up.  I am not talking a 50/50 chance here --it would be closer to a 1% chance for most guys .

[Anotherkiwi]

Off the top of my head, Jone, Nightwish, Anotherkiwi, Lyndontom, Davo, LAMan, JayH and a few others I am forgetting are currently actively searching.....all of them have infinitely more wisdom, knowledge and experience than I do .....do not listen to a newbie like me, but listen to them and contact them through PM for assistance. They can help you a lot more than I can.

Jone, Nightwish and Davo at least are all in committed relationships, so why do you think they're still searching?

I'm not still searching, as I have far too much stuff going on in my life at the moment to worry about a foreign romance.  However, having made trips to Russia and Ukraine, and having been the recipient of all sorts of "wisdom" on this forum, I feel that there are areas where I can still usefully contribute.  I would always defer, though, to those who have been on the ground much more recently than me.

[Jumper]

he has told me this.   not sure when his wife passed away.   he started writing alina sometime in 2015.  he's also chatted with her on camera.   he has seen her several times.   also after she has performed at some nightclub. where ever it was in the world.   due to her dress. 

I asked him,  if he ever talked to her about meeting.....she always gave the excuse.   "my work can call me at any time"   "I could be out of the country" 

not sure if any at the forum sent gifts,  but he has.    a single flower.   he shared the picture with me.    I will ask him to join the forum......I doubt he will. 

I never told him I met her,   I think that would drive him over the edge.   if he's not there already.

It's how the affiliate agencies of ppl work.
Vid chat girls are paid to chat and write letters and they make good money for Ukraine. Odessa is notorious for it.In fact even Ukrainians think of Odessa as a hustler city.

At this point  if you,or this guy don't think alina wasn't suplementing her dj income by working for an affiliate agency writing letters and vid chat you're  being very naive.
Her dj job at the time  wasn't likely as lucrative or stable as the agency gig. The roses to her are normal stuff thru such agencies, standard stuff.
  Yes it could be an agency employee writing letters for her profile,or a profile she is unaware of, but sunce he vid chatted with her, odds are far higher she's just like many young female  odessians and making money working at an affiliate agency for awhile.


That doesn't mean she won't meet or marry some guy. Although my guess is she isn't that interested in such family life at this time lol,
and the guy is silly to sell his home,but whethet misled or just him bring obessive, doesn't change that suck decisions are his,he is completely in charge of his life, not some young Odessa girl.

[Jumper]

I'll add why wouldn't you share with him you met her?
If he is so delusional to think women dont meet and date  men in general he needs to know some hot young dj certainly does, unless she likes girls better.

[GQBlues]

The site had degraded way down to stories about old farts and social misfits lusting over photos of young skirts who professed undying love after getting contacted from dating site(s) they never even knew they signed on to.

Then the site's experts cavalry rallying to save these delusional souls, tripping over each other on who best gets their message across in 100 words or less..

Just another day in the world of the MOB...

[Jumper]

The site had degraded way down to stories about old farts and social misfits lusting over photos of young skirts who professed undying love after getting contacted from dating site(s) they never even knew they signed on to.

Then the site's experts cavalry rallying to save these delusional souls, tripping over each other on who best gets their message across in 100 words or less..

Just another day in the world of the MOB...

Degraded?  Was it ever any different?
You forgot to add the occasional sniper shots from those who feel above it all
Which is the same as it ever was as well.

Glad you could join us.

[GQBlues]

Quite a few times when we read these threads, then pairing that off with stories and people we've know from *their* stories of the past...I've come to realize with great despair and sometimes amusement, that it isn't always 'wise' to lead many of these horses to water. The best that can happen when we do, is if they don't actually drink the water after being 'led' to it.

Sad for gals, really, if you think about it.