So Quick Question/Sanity Check

[gaspar227]

So quick question/sanity check.  I see this going both ways and I'm a bit confused because I can't piece together any end game on this woman's part.

First off, the woman from Vladivostok:  Things have progressed nicely, dmnotify to whatsapp.  Smart girl, sweet, very pretty, but not like supermodel type pretty.  This is the one with the travel pics. 

So We're chatting and i sent her a link from her hometown (she lives in a village 3 hours out) about MMA gym, thinking that's kinda cool, i like MMA.  She tells me that's her ex who owns the gym.  I'm like weird!  But then again why would she bring that up if it wasn't true? No endgame there, but I was like ok, well here's a little about my ex, lets get that overwith.  No big deal.

Then I ask her for her IG account.  She says OK, but I have a lot of followers.  I figure OK, that's cool.  Then she requests to follow me from this account, i followback great.  But she's basically got 34K followers and many of the pictures were on her profile. She's even prettier on her IG, in otherwords she downplayed on dmnotify.  But she's not Airbrush Pamela Anderson.  She's wholesome, pretty, and she's obviously in a variety of settings, BUT most of her pictures seem taken...like not selfies.  But there were a few selfie-stick ones. Again...I'm feeling like trenchcoat here with my paranoia. 

Basically since last spring she's been on like 3-4 international trips.  Tokyo, France, Busan (at least once for extended stay).  It's hard to reconcile, but if her parents have some money, her town is a shipping town, it would make some sense.

She's going back to Bosan 'soon' and will stay for 'exactly 2 months'.  She's going to work in a post office there?  (omg is that a thing?).  I mean I've met many liars, and none of these add up to anything, which has always meant to me that either they are pathological...which i have met, or they just really do lead a more interesting life than you and do it on 1/5 the budget.  Which, again I have met!

So I guess I'm asking is there some scam I'm missing?  I did a google search of this girl's name, and nothing comes up except her IG.  And it's not like it's someone else's account, she followed me. 

She's asked me to come visit her in the spring, when she is back from Bosan, in Vladivostok.  I think the only part that trips me out, being a dumb american, is that it's so close to North Korea, China and so isolated.  I can't think they get any tourists from USA there in March.  I would be very on my own, if she ended up being something else, there's no backup plan, and like you said in the commandments, have a backup plan. 

This is the only girl I've clicked with.  I've obvi chatted up a bunch, but I keep thinking of (moby's?) advice about his wife where nobody visited her.  I really want to trust and believe and make that trip, instead of a trip to Ukraine and play the numbers.  It's not a terrible expense, but it would mean at LEAST 4 days travel and hassle and time off work etc.  But if she is the person I'm talking to, and we hit it off...would be incredible.

thoughts? 

I don't think this is the right place for this on the forum? Where should I post a topic like this?   

[Brasscasing]

So quick question/sanity check.  I see this going both ways and I'm a bit confused because I can't piece together any end game on this woman's part.

First off, the woman from Vladivostok:  Things have progressed nicely, dmnotify to whatsapp.  Smart girl, sweet, very pretty, but not like supermodel type pretty.  This is the one with the travel pics. 

So We're chatting and i sent her a link from her hometown (she lives in a village 3 hours out) about MMA gym, thinking that's kinda cool, i like MMA.  She tells me that's her ex who owns the gym.  I'm like weird!  But then again why would she bring that up if it wasn't true? No endgame there, but I was like ok, well here's a little about my ex, lets get that overwith.  No big deal.

Then I ask her for her IG account.  She says OK, but I have a lot of followers.  I figure OK, that's cool.  Then she requests to follow me from this account, i followback great.  But she's basically got 34K followers and many of the pictures were on her profile. She's even prettier on her IG, in otherwords she downplayed on dmnotify.  But she's not Airbrush Pamela Anderson.  She's wholesome, pretty, and she's obviously in a variety of settings, BUT most of her pictures seem taken...like not selfies.  But there were a few selfie-stick ones. Again...I'm feeling like trenchcoat here with my paranoia. 

Basically since last spring she's been on like 3-4 international trips.  Tokyo, France, Busan (at least once for extended stay).  It's hard to reconcile, but if her parents have some money, her town is a shipping town, it would make some sense.

She's going back to Bosan 'soon' and will stay for 'exactly 2 months'.  She's going to work in a post office there?  (omg is that a thing?).  I mean I've met many liars, and none of these add up to anything, which has always meant to me that either they are pathological...which i have met, or they just really do lead a more interesting life than you and do it on 1/5 the budget.  Which, again I have met!

So I guess I'm asking is there some scam I'm missing?  I did a google search of this girl's name, and nothing comes up except her IG.  And it's not like it's someone else's account, she followed me. 

She's asked me to come visit her in the spring, when she is back from Bosan, in Vladivostok.  I think the only part that trips me out, being a dumb american, is that it's so close to North Korea, China and so isolated.  I can't think they get any tourists from USA there in March.  I would be very on my own, if she ended up being something else, there's no backup plan, and like you said in the commandments, have a backup plan. 

This is the only girl I've clicked with.  I've obvi chatted up a bunch, but I keep thinking of (moby's?) advice about his wife where nobody visited her.  I really want to trust and believe and make that trip, instead of a trip to Ukraine and play the numbers.  It's not a terrible expense, but it would mean at LEAST 4 days travel and hassle and time off work etc.  But if she is the person I'm talking to, and we hit it off...would be incredible.

thoughts? 

I don't think this is the right place for this on the forum? Where should I post a topic like this?   

Busan or Bosan?

Two different places. One's in South Korea, the other in Pakistan.

Brass

[gaspar227]

Korean Bosan. And she's been there many times, we've talked about it, slightly dodgy, but in fairness we all are at first if we are smart imo.

[Brasscasing]

Korean Bosan. And she's been there many times, we've talked about it, slightly dodgy, but in fairness we all are at first if we are smart imo.

Ok, so that's Busan (formally Pusan).

There's a lady member here from Vlad who occasionally checks in (married, living in the U.S. now). She may have some insight for you regarding your concerns. Don't remember her handle (forum username) but someone will.

Brass

[ML]

There are tens of thousands of FSU gals who would make a good match for you.

Don't screw around with any of them who pose so many questions and concerns for you.  Could be nothing at all amiss with this gal, but too much white noise to deal with.  With her, you will be on this website forever asking the same type of questions.

Use the KISS system is sorting out these gals.

[whynotme]

So quick question/sanity check.  I see this going both ways and I'm a bit confused because I can't piece together any end game on this woman's part.

First off, the woman from Vladivostok:  Things have progressed nicely, dmnotify to whatsapp.  Smart girl, sweet, very pretty, but not like supermodel type pretty.  This is the one with the travel pics. 

So We're chatting and i sent her a link from her hometown (she lives in a village 3 hours out) about MMA gym, thinking that's kinda cool, i like MMA.  She tells me that's her ex who owns the gym.  I'm like weird!  But then again why would she bring that up if it wasn't true? No endgame there, but I was like ok, well here's a little about my ex, lets get that overwith.  No big deal.

Then I ask her for her IG account.  She says OK, but I have a lot of followers.  I figure OK, that's cool.  Then she requests to follow me from this account, i followback great.  But she's basically got 34K followers and many of the pictures were on her profile. She's even prettier on her IG, in otherwords she downplayed on dmnotify.  But she's not Airbrush Pamela Anderson.  She's wholesome, pretty, and she's obviously in a variety of settings, BUT most of her pictures seem taken...like not selfies.  But there were a few selfie-stick ones. Again...I'm feeling like trenchcoat here with my paranoia. 

Basically since last spring she's been on like 3-4 international trips.  Tokyo, France, Busan (at least once for extended stay).  It's hard to reconcile, but if her parents have some money, her town is a shipping town, it would make some sense.

She's going back to Bosan 'soon' and will stay for 'exactly 2 months'.  She's going to work in a post office there?  (omg is that a thing?).  I mean I've met many liars, and none of these add up to anything, which has always meant to me that either they are pathological...which i have met, or they just really do lead a more interesting life than you and do it on 1/5 the budget.  Which, again I have met!

So I guess I'm asking is there some scam I'm missing?  I did a google search of this girl's name, and nothing comes up except her IG.  And it's not like it's someone else's account, she followed me. 

She's asked me to come visit her in the spring, when she is back from Bosan, in Vladivostok.  I think the only part that trips me out, being a dumb american, is that it's so close to North Korea, China and so isolated.  I can't think they get any tourists from USA there in March.  I would be very on my own, if she ended up being something else, there's no backup plan, and like you said in the commandments, have a backup plan. 

This is the only girl I've clicked with.  I've obvi chatted up a bunch, but I keep thinking of (moby's?) advice about his wife where nobody visited her.  I really want to trust and believe and make that trip, instead of a trip to Ukraine and play the numbers.  It's not a terrible expense, but it would mean at LEAST 4 days travel and hassle and time off work etc.  But if she is the person I'm talking to, and we hit it off...would be incredible.

thoughts? 

I don't think this is the right place for this on the forum? Where should I post a topic like this?   

What's the problem? Usually girls from Vladivostok do prefer to spend winters in Thailand, or Vietnam, or Singapore. To visit Пусан is the same as to visit BC from WA, no visas for Russians. Where are you from? If you live in typical American middle of nowhere (almost all places in the US are), better try Ukraine. 

[Trenchcoat]

Gaspar, tink it was Jmper who you mean about no one came to visit his agency girl in Nikolaev.

Well, Instagram is known for pretty girls flaunting their beauty, commonly referred to as Instawhores, lol

Firstly, I would say if Vladivostok region is nearer to you for the love of god, look there, forget Ukraine if its a four day journey for you. Ukraine if you have not clued in already is a set up for the 'dating industry', yes you can met a decent woman there but I think you will find it harder than in Vladivostok. As a newbie Ukraine is not good unless your luck is really in, whatever problems you think you are having in Vladivostok with this girl trust me they will be a lot more girls like you fear in Ukraine - they are not all bad but getting one who will not mess you around will not be easy. Ukraine is basically a pull for many US guys that are new to the FSU dating scene as they do VISA free and there is a big dating pull there. I think even if you go to Bosan its not that far to go onwards to Vladivostok if things did  not work out.

So I would say slow done, take a deep breath and relax. Girls that you seem to click with I found come up, but as I discovered this counts for not a great deal. Someone on here once gave me the good advice that if something is clicking in your subconscious that not all is in place then you should listen to it. So don't break off contact with this girl, learn what you can, the longer you communicate I've found the more seeps out if there is something amiss. If she is a pretty girl beware, is there some other agenda she is after - a shopping spree at your expense once you arrive, an immigration mule, etc. A pretty girl once she is in US will have no problem finding many other potential suitors and therein lies the problem. You need to find out more about this girl - does she come from a nice/wealthy part of Vladivostok or from the concrete block dives? how does she respond to questions about moving to US? overly enthusiastic, etc Also look at you and consider if you would really appeal to a pretty young girl if your not looking to great, overweight, etc.

I think you need to use this girl as a case to learn from, stuff doesn't have to stand out obviously wrong for there to be something not quite right with a girl. Keep messaging, Skyping and go out there to meet her, be careful in arrangements and arrange hotels etc yourself, avoid clothes shopping with girl and gain some experience as to what happens on the ground with FSW, good luck 

[GQBlues]

What's the problem? Usually girls from Vladivostok do prefer to spend winters in Thailand, or Vietnam, or Singapore. To visit Пусан is the same as to visit BC from WA, no visas for Russians. Where are you from? If you live in typical American middle of nowhere (almost all places in the US are), better try Ukraine. 

...or local. There's hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of FSUW already living inside the US. heck, meet one who may have a friend/relative,etc...that can match him up with.


But I honestly think the purpose of the recent post is anything but the excitement of the new-found intrigue the OP wanted to share with the board. I'm often reminded by the usual high school buddy who couldn't wait to call his bros early Saturday mornings and share the good news of what Friday night brought him.


Asking to be objective over something so subjective, vague and unknown to anyone, is just asking for unnecessary worry, or worst, trouble.

[gaspar227]

I agree, it's somewhere in the middle of all of that.  WTF do I know, i'm learning new things every day.  I kinda thought that's what these forums were for though, sorta the 'whoa dude, chill out'.  As far as overweight/etc.  Yeah I mean I'm overweight compared to the 25 y/o me, but i'm definitely in the top 25% of guys 44 and over.

I guess i hear ya on instawhores as well, but it's not like that, they are't like every day, every trip in a car.  There's flowers, and not that many selfies.  So my gut tells me that if she was gaming me, there are 1000 ways to do it better than what she's doing it.  And, honestly, aren't we all kinda gaming them as well, trying to pick apart one 9 vs a 10 and then splitting hairs. 

I really think she's a sweet girl.  And yes she's eager to come here, but i'm looking on sites explicitly for that purpose.  I know there is more to her, just like there's more to me than has come up, so time is my friend, and there's no rush.  I was mostly worried there was some con I was missing that someone would say...dumbshit here's what she's doing. 

If it's a green card, or a shopping spree...well there's certainly much better places to con me with other than Vladivostok for god's sake.  I just don't want to go there, and then be stuck by myself because the other girls from Vladivostok are not really my type.

I would really appreciate the insights from someone from that area, as it really just seems so much different than Moscow or St. Petes or Ukraine.

Thank you again for your help guys.  It's really amazing to have someone to bounce things off of that don't think..."what?  you're looking for a mail order bride!?!? What's wrong with you?"

[Boethius]

I would really appreciate the insights from someone from that area

You did get the insights from someone from that area.


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22321.msg472521;topicseen#msg472521

[Trenchcoat]

I really think she's a sweet girl.  And yes she's eager to come here, but i'm looking on sites explicitly for that purpose.  I know there is more to her, just like there's more to me than has come up, so time is my friend, and there's no rush.  I was mostly worried there was some con I was missing that someone would say...dumbshit here's what she's doing. 

I just don't want to go there, and then be stuck by myself because the other girls from Vladivostok are not really my type.

I would really appreciate the insights from someone from that area, as it really just seems so much different than Moscow or St. Petes or Ukraine.

Thank you again for your help guys.  It's really amazing to have someone to bounce things off of that don't think..."what?  you're looking for a mail order bride!?!? What's wrong with you?"

Never been to Vladivostok  or anywhere nearby, I remember when I was on this forum though a decade back that there was an old chap that went out to the pacific side of Russia, seemed to get on quite well. I think its better hunting out there as you:

1). Not got a load of other Americans competing with you.

2). Less of a 'dating industry' set up so women will be less inclined to see WM as potential mugs for the taking, your not assured of this of course.

I'm guessing Vladivostok from what I see on google is somewhat similar to most other Russian cities, lots of old style tower & tenement concrete blocks then some newer stuff. The city center like most city centres the world over looks like the best place to be. I wouldn't sweat it and go for it there. I think you said you were from Phoenix, Arizona so it will be slightly nearer than Ukraine.  I wouldn't do Ukraine in your position, for me from UK it is much nearer but even the better girls can play around with a foreign guy visiting there its too well trodden turf I think.

I know I get some views off disbelief when telling of my search in the FSU for a girl, but truth is its better to deal with the problems of FSU dating I believe and get gradually better than stay in a stagnant dating situation that is the UK dating scene for a lot of British men, I get the impression the US is not a lot different.

[gaspar227]

What's the problem? Usually girls from Vladivostok do prefer to spend winters in Thailand, or Vietnam, or Singapore. To visit Пусан is the same as to visit BC from WA, no visas for Russians. Where are you from? If you live in typical American middle of nowhere (almost all places in the US are), better try Ukraine. 

I live in Phoenix, Scottsdale more specifically.  Not exactly 'nowhere' but certainly not LA or SF.  I would consider it a pretty good place to come for women that hate cold especially.  Scottsdale has one of the highest % of gold diggers and cougars in North America -- so I'm pretty familiar with the techniques. 

It's very hard for me to put things together when someone says monthly wages are net average $500/month that someone could live, and pay for things as well as then travel for the winter.  Somebody's gotta be footing that bill.  If it's daddy, then great, i'm for it.  If it sugar daddy, i don't really care (girl's gotta do what she's gotta do) I would like to know that's all. 

I mean none of this makes a bit of sense so I have to think these numbers are garbage or they must be living 4-5 deep.

http://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/in/Vladivostok?displayCurrency=USD

i mean how can you pay 350 a month in rent, then buy anything and live on $500 a month. 

Regardless, travel isn't cheap and not trips 1 month apart from May to Sept for anyone normal.  So somehow she's augmenting her income, and my take on it was that she's earning considerably more doing something in Busan (korea), her dad's in the mob, she gets guys to pay for trips, or she's just taken someone else's photos off IG and made a little life up that she wishes she had.

It's really hard for me to imagine working at the post office pays that much LOL, even in Korea. 

Honestly I was just wondering what to make of it.  I probably think too much and if I don't care, I should just take it at face value.  I just like knowing how people pull stuff like that off...because honestly, i want to vacation every month and work in a flower shop to pay for it! 

[Trenchcoat]

Honestly I was just wondering what to make of it.  I probably think too much and if I don't care, I should just take it at face value.  I just like knowing how people pull stuff like that off...because honestly, i want to vacation every month and work in a flower shop to pay for it!

I would go out there and meet her Gaspar and you'll find out, you might get your fingers burn't but the experience will be of value to you on this search. Otherwise its just pointless speculating and without any experience you will not have a point to work from with any girl. I really don't think that FSW are the same as goldigging US or UK women you have the few that are of course but they normally foul up over time and give themselves away, even the more cleverer ones, its difficult for many a person to hide their true selves completely without something seeping out over time.

[Boethius]

If you can’t trust her, for whatever reason, move on.

If this is going to be your pattern, best to not look in the FSU.

[2tallbill]

I live in Phoenix, Scottsdale more specifically. 

I mean how can you pay 350 a month in rent, then buy anything and live on $500 a month. 

Many women either own their flat or they live with their relatives.
They are also creative on how to make a few extra kopecks here
and there. The economy in Vladivostok is stronger than it is in
Dnepropetrovsk.

Paranoia big destroya! If you want to fail 99.795% of the time, be
paranoid about everything, openly question a girls honesty and
accuse her of ______________ (enter scam theory here)





whynotme is from Vladivostok. She can be very sweet and helpful,
but if she thinks your an idiot/narcissist/liar/scammer/etc then
you should know that she bites. 


Udachi!

Bill

[2tallbill]

1). Not got a load of other Americans competing with you.

That's insecurity creeping in.

If you get on a plane you are ahead of 90% of the other men
and if it's for the right girl you are ahead of 100% of them.

I agree with avoiding the Puppy Mills/Agency Mills in Odessa
and Nikolaev, unless you have personal knowledge and/or
contacts there.

[gaspar227]

Paranoia big destroya! If you want to fail 99.795% of the time, be
paranoid about everything, openly question a girls honesty and
accuse her of ______________
[/quote]

I do like the kinks. And yes, I found some funny ties with her village and Hyundai, so it makes a LOT more sense.

I know enough not to accuse her of anything. I would just bail.

Regardless, if things continue to go well, I'm going to visit. Just as said, it's an adventure regardless. If I have to split, or find another chick, that's fine. As long as I don't get kidnapped and my organs stolen it's all good (Lol, joke joke joke)

[whynotme]

I just like knowing how people pull stuff like that off...

Easily. Show me a Russian living on a salary only  If she owns a flat, she doesn't pay rent. How old she is and what is she doing for living exactly?
Many Russians are eager to travel around the world unlike Americans who get stuck in their holes. During the last year my daughter who lives in Russia visited France, Czech, Italy and Monte Negro. Well, all trips were for study. Therefore, I'm not surprised at all, the girl can travel a lot for business or study.
Many Russian-speaking girls in your area already know English and bring paycheck to the family budget. Or you aren't a good capture for them (divorced, 44 y. o., 2 kids...)? 

[whynotme]

Paranoia big destroya! If you want to fail 99.795% of the time, be
paranoid about everything, openly question a girls honesty and
accuse her of ______________


I do like the kinks. And yes, I found some funny ties with her village and Hyundai, so it makes a LOT more sense.

I know enough not to accuse her of anything. I would just bail.

Regardless, if things continue to go well, I'm going to visit. Just as said, it's an adventure regardless. If I have to split, or find another chick, that's fine. As long as I don't get kidnapped and my organs stolen it's all good (Lol, joke joke joke)

What village you are talking about?  If you are going - choose December-February for visit (unforgettable for an Arizona resident) 

[gaspar227]

Idk if I am or am not a good catch. That's more up to her.  I think I'm pretty cool.  I have a job, I can take off and get there, I'm not overly an asshole in person, respectful, I shower lol.

 I'm looking more like a March visit. She will be in Busan. She works at a flower shop.  She's getting a job at the postalservice in Korea.

Nakhodka. I guess Hyundai put a ton of money into a fertilizer plant or something. For all I know she's related to someone involved with that. I think she really wants to get out, small town.

I also know it's easy to buy ig followers. Her fb is way more normal. Thanks for the help.

It's like you say, you can't apply values from here to there. Example, and maybe big mistake. I bought an older gl550 today, very pretty car. I was like, hey baby wouldn't this be fun to drive? She was like..whatever. I mean honestly the thing is FUN to drive, and yea it's hard to kick old habits showing off a bit, but she couldn't give a damn. She's like, we have Japanese cars here, that's cool.

This woman works12 hours 4 days Week at a florist!  I haven't worked 48 hours in a month. She said she got called in last minute to work Saturday. That's a 60 hour week. Wtf. It blows your mind how spoiled and jaded I am and still I do more than most of the people I work with.

Point is, I'm trying to learn, you read what's here and you think, yeah right, chicks are chicks, stay local. But it's just different and cool and I want to be more like her, not the other way around!  The more I'm talking to her the more I realize I need saving, not the other way around!

 Last year, fyi: London, Paris, Monte Carlo, Corsica, mallorca, Athens, amalfi, Rome, Mexico. Less this year, Toronto, Niagara, Michigan, Minnesota, Cabo. more driving, San Diego, Santa Barbara, Vegas, local stuff too. But this eastern Europe stuff is new.I'm excited!

[whynotme]

Have you been banned in Google? Nakhodka ia a big seaport, so hard to impress somebody there with gyms and cars. If the girl calls it a village, it doesn't mean so.
Does the girl have any degree? You forgot her age question.

[whynotme]

March is not a good season for trips to Primorye (the best is August - September). If I was you, I'll go to S. Korea in February to watch Olympics and meet the girl.
Good place for romantic visit 

[gaspar227]

 It's only like140k people. Pretty small. Even Vladivostok is small imo.  Idk what a village means really, she called it that. It's certainly not Scottsdale/Phoenix or San Diego or Los Angeles.

I tried that Olympics thing before, she said she would be working a lot. It's stuff like that which makes me wonder about the trip to Korea. Idk, people don't owe me an explanation for their lives because I chat a few weeks right?

I also thought maybe just meet somewhere else, like fiji or Italy but she's kinda luke-warm on that and that's understandable, especially given the short time. I mean I'm not a fan of March in eastern Siberia either.

So I'm going to give it time, we'll see if she dips out for Korea, then figure out if I'm going to try and meet up If things are still good.  If not, I'll move on. Someone said I was just new and excited, and yes that's true, and it's good to have people to talk about it with.

I was just floored by the Instagram thing because it's not like she daily updates. I think someone bought her some followers. Her pics have less than1000 likes, but 34k followers.  I've bought followers before, they are cheap AF.

Late20s. And yeah that was the whole point, dumb of me, to try and impress like that, I am not rich, just good financially.  I work every day in a shitty cube like most. I'm new at all this hence all the dumbness.

I really appreciate the advice. You are kind Whynotme.

[Jumper]

.....said she would be working a lot. It's stuff like that which makes me wonder about the trip to Korea. Idk, people don't owe me an explanation for their lives because I chat a few weeks right?

No they dont owe you an explanation ,or anything at all.

However, if she's Luke warm about you visiting her in Korea or other locations at this time, (understandably)then you are simply way ahead of the situation to even think of a trip.

Keep communicating if you are interested , but I certainly wouldn't plan any trips even to her home city until you are more certain and she's more interested.

You should be open to communication with as many as you can until one is a standout for you, and you for them.
As you know, just because any woman seems great, doesn't mean it's a great fit for you, or you for them. You'll have a lot of mostly uneventful trips,if you go off of a woman's seeming qualifications, instead of her interest level in you.

At this point *she's just not that into you* for whatever reasons.
If her level of interest doesn't build pretty quickly i would  move on .
And for heavens sake dont lead with what you have ,unless that's the type of person you want to attract.  That kind of thing might work on strippers,or social climbers you dated, because of the general mentality.
Its unlikeky to impress sincere women of any nationality.
You want to stand out, then don't do what the last 100 men did while communicating with her. Don't mean to be harsh, as it seems you know this, but you still did so regardless. Take some time to figure out why you felt the need to.

[gaspar227]

Jumper, Whynotme is your wife right? I'm curious about something hinted at and also extolled by GQBlues

"...or local. There's hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of FSUW already living inside the US. heck, meet one who may have a friend/relative,etc...that can match him up with."

are there resources that can help to access these women?  I mean I've met a few on the local sites, Match.com etc, but everything is so difficult on these to get attention.  You really have to be a PUA to work those women, and although I can play that game, it's tiresome. 

And yes, I hear you on this about the one girl, and I'm sure I messed it up a little and there is damage control going on, but it's good to understand how I've messed up. But it's not THAT bad, I mean I was just more trying to show her that she wouldn't be stranded here, that I would want her to be a part of what's going on in the city, have transport, have the ability to see things and not just sit and wait for me like my dogs do when I'm at work!  I really want to meet someone that embraces life here, that's the 'soccer mom' and/or has a good job. 

I know it's hard to even consider uprooting your whole life to come some where and marry some guy.  I want her to be reassured that she would be a part of things and important to have her independence.  Maybe that's just again, my western mentality about equality and all that, I mean is that the wrong approach?  There's genuine generosity and then there's douchey money flashing.  I don't have enough for the second, but how do you show the first without at least being a little shady?