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Author Topic: The Sudden Silent treatment  (Read 8218 times)

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Offline Sting23

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The Sudden Silent treatment
« on: January 07, 2018, 11:42:22 PM »
Anyone have this experience where a Russian woman you are dating suddenly cuts off all contact for no apparent reason?

I'm talking about a woman that you've actually seen in person, dated a few times or more, or even a girlfriend.

An expat buddy just recounted a story where his Russian gf suddenly broke off things, blocked all forms of communication and gave him the cold shoulder.  Now I don't know how long they were going out but this really shook him up.  Came outta left field.

He's late 20's so I assume the girl was around his age.   

I've had the occasional girl stop messaging after a few dates or turn cold.  But nothing this drastic with a girlfriend.


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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2018, 12:44:44 AM »

He may have turned her off by saying something that really upset her. He may have been saying things over time which made her realize he's not right for her. She may have found another guy who's better.

All is fair in love and war. Doesn't really matter what her reasons are. He needs to move on. He's young and will get over it. Next!
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Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2018, 02:12:57 AM »
He may have turned her off by saying something that really upset her. He may have been saying things over time which made her realize he's not right for her. She may have found another guy who's better.

All is fair in love and war. Doesn't really matter what her reasons are.

I agree, BUT ... it would be nice for him to know so that he doesn't make the same mistake(s) again.  It's probably happened to most (all?) of us at some stage, although not necessarily with someone you've actually met, and it's pretty frustrating to be dumped without being told (or being able to figure out) why.

It may not be so hard if the girlfriend is local, especially if you move in the same social circles or have friends in common who can spill the beans, but it's impossible if your girlfriend (or potential girlfriend) is thousands of miles away and speaks a different language.

...He needs to move on. He's young and will get over it. Next!

Of course he will.  After the third or fourth, though, he might wonder if he needs to change his aftershave.  :o

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2018, 02:29:15 AM »
Never happened to me re someone I'd actually met..

If other folks can still see her profiles then it's likely he should just accept that fact that he'll never know why ((

Should it be driving him CRAZY - wait a month or two - create another profile and try a polite message...   in the remote chance someone else blocked you....  Chances are if she wanted to - she'd contact you ((

The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Offline Sting23

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2018, 05:55:51 AM »
No, this guy is still in Russia.  He's been working there a while and it happened all of a sudden.  I don't know how they met but it was probably like how you would meet a local girl in your city. 

So it's not like he was flying over there for visits, they were dating normally.

I'm just wondering if this is more a Russian mentality or due to youth.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 06:00:15 AM by Sting23 »

Offline Boethius

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2018, 06:02:24 AM »
Itís called ghosting. Happens here as well.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2018, 08:13:24 AM »
Could be anything but I'm guessing it's most likely either she was not that into him/went off him/found another guy/was having an affair with another guy/unhappy with her life & wanted a change and it was just the easiest way as she probably knew there would be a load of aggro/waffle and didn't want to have to deal with it.

Or she has a direct nature that many FSW seem to have and just decided that is what she wanted. I think many FSW view matters different to WM and read into what a guy does and says differently. It's crazy you do or say something that most people in the west would not even register as any sort of problem but to FSW all of a sudden you've become a gangster. I think it's their society which is a very different scene to how our society is. For example, the last girl I was with accused me of being 'on the run from the law' lol, at the time I thought she was just making up BS to sling back at me. But I now think she probably genuinely thought it as crazy as that may sound. I made the mistake of going to Cyprus where a lot of Russians used to go to launder money, that and I suggested moving out there. To me a westerner perfectly normal (few westerners do such moves for illegal purposes) but to her she could only see the reason as being the same as for Russians that I was dodgy. It's what she is used to seeing from Russians and knows nothing else. So of the girl thought he might be a criminal by something he was doing or saying she might have took sudden flight as she wanted no part of it (as she saw it).
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 09:29:12 AM by Trenchcoat »

Offline Sting23

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2018, 08:17:02 AM »
Trench, just stop.

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2018, 08:50:33 AM »
Itís called ghosting. Happens here as well.

'Ghosting,' huh? Well, whatever it's called, it seems rude to simply drop off the face of the earth (barring any truly egregious actions on the part of the man). I had a friend who suffered a similar experience, but in that case the girl was seeing someone else on the side (that he only discovered later).
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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2018, 09:36:06 AM »
What I am trying to say in my earlier post is that it doesn't seem to take much for a FSW to start thinking the worst of a guy and she may not even let on that this is the way she's come to think of him, she'll just decide she is right in what she thinks, decide its too much and move on. A lot of FSW seem to have an arbitrary way about them.

That said I think LOTD may be right in that if she has hooked up with some other guy she may play him along until she is firm that the the other guy is hers then dump him. Either that she does not want to be caught two timing or has been caught by the other guy hence has been told by other guy to cut all communication or she is dumped.If she likes other guy more then this is what she may have done. I think this is probably quite likely.

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2018, 09:53:00 AM »
it would be nice for him to know so that he doesn't make the same mistake(s) again.  It's probably happened to most (all?) of us at some stage, although not necessarily with someone you've actually met, and it's pretty frustrating to be dumped without being told (or being able to figure out) why.



Hard for the girl to be nice to him when the guy is getting dumped.


When dumping a girl, I tell them I'm glad to have met them but we are different people and I need to move in a different direction. Explaining their faults or differences may lead to arguments. We're adults, we're supposed to fix our own issues without having to be told.


it seems rude to simply drop off the face of the earth (barring any truly egregious actions on the part of the man).



You want to see how ugly people can get? Dump them. Girls don't want to see ugly. Disappearing is one way to avoid ugly. Some of these girls know their man doesn't take "no" for an answer or they'll plead and cry for the woman to stay in a relationship.




Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2018, 10:02:59 AM »

Hard for the girl to be nice to him when the guy is getting dumped.


When dumping a girl, I tell them I'm glad to have met them but we are different people and I need to move in a different direction. Explaining their faults or differences may lead to arguments. We're adults, we're supposed to fix our own issues without having to be told.



You want to see how ugly people can get? Dump them. Girls don't want to see ugly. Disappearing is one way to avoid ugly. Some of these girls know their man doesn't take "no" for an answer or they'll plead and cry for the woman to stay in a relationship.

Very much this too, I think a lot of girls just want to take the easy way out and just cutting off all ties is the easy way. They put their own feelings first and don't care about the guys its just easiest that way. Harsh but true.

Offline ML

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2018, 11:36:41 AM »
Cutting off communication with someone, whether in social or business situations, without any explanation is just plain rude.  But this is a norm for FSU folks.

One exception would be when the other person says or writes something to you like . . . you are a dickhead . . . or has taken some action known to be offensive to the person.

Then, the recipient can stop all communication without any taint of being rude.
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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2018, 12:22:25 PM »
Cutting off communication with someone, whether in social or business situations, without any explanation is just plain rude.  But this is a norm for FSU folks.

Exactly, this is what I mean they often have a rude, abrupt manner and suit themselves. Not to say they are unfriendly it's just their way. I think that this is just the top of the iceberg that it's more than that. That the whole society generally has a way of thinking and values that are distinct and different to western society. That's not to say there aren't any similarities or connection. But that the more we understand the outlook and way of thinking of FSU society the more successful WM will be in dating these women. So if you know the trains approaching and you're on the tracks you know how to act accordingly and not stuff up without realising it.

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2018, 01:06:47 PM »
Look, this is a sl.unusual case as the 'victim' has met the lady and is in the FSU..

A LOT of the generalisations I'm reading about 'FSU' folk being 'rude' - in that they stop communicating are EXACTLY the same thing I hear from FSU women ..

But one example : 2006/7 USA male who deals in supply labour for healthcare chats up pretty lady in Krasnodar region ( this is not SC) and goes on to meet - having 'stopped off on the way from the US to India.

They get on.. but suddenly comms stop

The lady is upset and asks me to help ...  with the info supplied, I find his hometown, his Ma and Pa ( Dad is a law officer ) and we find the guy is married ..

He was using his trips to have extra-curricular sport

So, can we say Southern Americans are 'rude' because of this guy ?

It's but one example...   

Keyboard romeos even get to the point where their 'intended' books an apartment and the guy never shows and 'disappears'






The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #15 on: January 08, 2018, 02:58:26 PM »

It's rude to shove a bayonet into someone's throat but all is fair in love and war. People should quit feeling sorry for themselves and not ask to get educated on what they did wrong. The fact they want the girl who just dumped them to educate them is probably one of the reasons a girl dumps a guy. They aren't looking for a man who has to be taught but has his shit together.

We should be at the point of our lives where we can find and attract quality people. If one relationship ends, the next one should be better. The end of a relationship isn't the end of the world and it could be the beginning of something better.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #16 on: January 08, 2018, 03:04:57 PM »
No, BillyB ...

my examples are not 'fair' and certainly 'love' was not on the cards for one party ....

I think the term saddo applies

It doesn't hurt to explain, "Sorry - I met someone else and I want to pursue them ... "
The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #17 on: January 08, 2018, 03:37:55 PM »
I think you get it so right every time Billy your natural skill with people is often evident on your grasp of the situation and course of action to take.

I know a lot of western women take that attitude precisely that it is not up to them to tell a guy where he goes wrong. I've never really liked that attitude as I find it high minded and self centred. I think it's because the number of options they have in the west that they can easily get another man so us men have no worth to them that they just concentrate on being self serving. They have no experience of it being them since they are in demand so a WM will know he just has to put up with all her faults or have no girl at all. I don't expect a girl to five a blow by blow appraisal but a few words rather than her just walk away is not exactly asking anything. I do just find that whole 'let him work it out' when its highly unlikely a kind of ignorant attitude. A woman's perspective is often radically different from a guy that often the chances of a guy working it out or even being in the same universe is slim to none.

Women can also be a bit sensitive about certain stuff I find. A guy can say something and attach little meaning or thought to it. A girl on the other hand can really get her tail end up over what may have been a minor remark or way the guy is. That said though some guys can be particularly socially inept from the word go and discuss say how they picK up other woman to the woman they are with shortly after meeting or are just awkward in everything they do and say. If your a touchy woman just the occasional awkward moment may be a big deal for her, but then possibly she's with a guy she is not into anyway.


Offline GQBlues

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #18 on: January 08, 2018, 03:44:58 PM »
Anyone have this experience where a Russian woman you are dating suddenly cuts off all contact for no apparent reason?

I'm talking about a woman that you've actually seen in person, dated a few times or more, or even a girlfriend.

An expat buddy just recounted a story where his Russian gf suddenly broke off things, blocked all forms of communication and gave him the cold shoulder.  Now I don't know how long they were going out but this really shook him up.  Came outta left field.

He's late 20's so I assume the girl was around his age.   

I've had the occasional girl stop messaging after a few dates or turn cold.  But nothing this drastic with a girlfriend.


How well do you know 'buddy'? In lieu of restraining order, there could be a very viable reason why the stoppage of communication.


But in the absence of any action that may have provoked this 'reaction' from the gal, I can honestly say I've never experienced this at all regardless of nationality with any of my ex's.


Now, there has been about 3 gals I dated before that got pissed off with me and declared they don't ever want to see me again (not really full blown GFs either) in the morning, only to find out later that day, one was stalking me and crept up from behind us while I was busy with a PDA with a new date. The other one started banging on my door two days later begging to speak with me to hash things out. Full one hour banging/knocking till she finally gave up cause I didn't answer and took a nap. Go figure..


Your buddy's too young to be pre-occupied with 'closure'. With that kind'a gal, why chase someone like that who don't think much of you to at least be courteous and cite her reason. If she kicked him to the curb, no need to find yourself in the gutter.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 03:49:20 PM by GQBlues »
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Offline Sting23

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #19 on: January 08, 2018, 06:13:23 PM »
guys this was his girlfriend !!!   Not some random hookup or someone who he had a few dates with.  And he was saying that they both liked each other and then did a complete 180 turn around.

I didn't ask for all the details but he was quite distraught.  Seemed like very cold and rude behaviour, could be just youth.

Now one rather famous story about dumping is Rory McIlroy the golfer. He was engaged to a tennis player Caroline W...  I think a few days before the wedding he called and cancelled it all off!
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 06:15:00 PM by Sting23 »

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #20 on: January 08, 2018, 06:24:09 PM »
guys this was his girlfriend !!! 



Doesn't matter if it was his wife. Next! The more he builds up a relationship with a girl, the stranger it becomes when she blocks all communication with him and the faster he needs to run away from the girl. He can cry in his room or go on Mamba.ru and set up a date tonight. What's more fun?
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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2018, 07:25:08 PM »
Hey guys and gals, you are making this too complicated.

Simple:  When  two persons are communicating, then each must reply to the other's correspondence.  Doesn't matter if they never met, dating, engaged, married, etc.

Why:  Because lack of reply could mean that they didn't get the correspondence and the first person has to send something again.  And they might have to continue sending 2, 3 or more times because they are really concerned about the possible lack of receipt.  This puts an undue and ridiculous burden on the person who had initiated the last correspondence.

If the second person doesn't want any further communication, the non-rude thing to do would be at least a one line message telling the first person that you intend to stop all communication.  If desired, the second person could even say fock-off.  At least then there would be closure.

There are at least two situations where a non-response is appropriate.
1) A message is received that states the sender wishes to stop communication.
2) A message is received from a person you have already told that you were done corresponding with them.

Now of course there are people in every country of the world who are rude in this category of failure to respond to on-going communication.

But in my experience, the FSU folks (men, women, social, business) are the leaders, hands-down.
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Offline GQBlues

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Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #22 on: January 08, 2018, 07:44:28 PM »
guys this was his girlfriend !!!   Not some random hookup or someone who he had a few dates with.  And he was saying that they both liked each other and then did a complete 180 turn around.

I didn't ask for all the details but he was quite distraught.  Seemed like very cold and rude behaviour, could be just youth.

Now one rather famous story about dumping is Rory McIlroy the golfer. He was engaged to a tennis player Caroline W...  I think a few days before the wedding he called and cancelled it all off!

Sting

IMHO, all the more reason for me. After the initial attempts and its become apparent she's ghosting me, no need to soak up any Air Supply greatest hits and sulk. Think about it, what's to bother with a biyatch?

Golden opportunity to snag another babe. New smell, new lips, likely bigger tits.
My wonderful rebuttal to the Prague Sprint thread is now *relocated* again (being actively hidden, lol) in *Anything Goes* section, titled: Willy Waving. Hurry before they delete it altogether. LMAO! Enjoy.

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The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #23 on: January 08, 2018, 07:45:07 PM »
Anyone have this experience where a Russian woman you are dating suddenly cuts off all contact for no apparent reason?

That generally means she's banging somebody, either a local
or a visitor. She might come back later and say,
Her grandmother needed a liter of blood per day or
that she was in Siberia doing missionary with work seeing
eye dogs (more likely missionary and doggy position)

She might come back with a different excuse, but she's likely
(99.978%) gone for good.

Better luck next time.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #24 on: January 08, 2018, 07:50:50 PM »
guys this was his girlfriend !!!

FSUW treat a prospective man with all kinds of affection,
right up to the point that they stop. Then they treat them
like an old tuna fish sandwich found under the couch.

In my opinion, It's over,

Your friend should spend one day feeling sorry for himself,
then give himself a pep talk, then move on and find an
even better girl. Girls are just like buses, there is always
another one arriving shortly. The best way to get over a
girl is in the arms of another.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

 

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