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Author Topic: Trip debacle  (Read 3629 times)

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Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Trip debacle
« Reply #25 on: February 06, 2018, 02:36:58 AM »

I work in construction as a sub contractor and like Mila, I look for work. I sometimes write General contractors if they have any jobs coming up I can bid on. Sometimes they write back with a list. I don't always respond. If my plate is full, I don't waste time responding to every email out there. You will experience more of this behavior looking for love. A girl will suddenly stop writing you. Don't get upset. Her plate may be full of love and found her man/men she prefers to dedicate her time with.

I will concede that your point does hold merit in the realm of practicality. In the kingdom of politeness however, I would have to hold an alternative opinion. 
Just a swanky P.A. yankee with a can-do attitude!

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Trip debacle
« Reply #26 on: February 06, 2018, 02:41:49 AM »
OP, as I said before, forget this. You haven't written the full report yet and look what is going on already. It will be ugly.

It is common sense to show courtesy. In the amount of time you spend on this forum, you can respond with a single sentence to everyone that sends an offer your way. Recruiters do the same shit as I had said to RWRecruiter a while back. My time is too precious to show you courtesy.... :rolleyes2:

I agree with you wallm, it is only proper to show some courtesy in communications. Besides, you never know when you might be communicating with a multimillionaire who'll prove to be your most awesome client (unlikely perhaps, but it could happen)! 
Just a swanky P.A. yankee with a can-do attitude!

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Trip debacle
« Reply #27 on: February 06, 2018, 02:43:49 AM »
Lord of the Dance shouldn't put his life on hold for other people to hook him up and wondering why a reply didn't happen.

A valid point.
Just a swanky P.A. yankee with a can-do attitude!

Offline Lord of the Dance

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Re: Trip debacle
« Reply #28 on: February 06, 2018, 02:53:20 AM »
That may well be true in your industry, because there are many companies doing the same sort of work, and many more sub-contractors who are competing for a slice of any particular pie.  However, that response isn't necessarily "one size fits all."  Just as an example, my company has been working for several months on preparing a bid for a very specialised project which will be worth well into eight figures to the successful tenderer.  For part of this work, we have contacted suppliers of certain items from literally all around the world, their portion of the final work being worth several million dollars in itself.

This is the response we received from most of those suppliers (hardly surprising, given the amount involved  :D ).

For us, there is far more to worry about than just the cost.  There are so many variables within our project that, while we may well end up with the lowest bidder, we could end up with any of the others if what they can supply is a better overall package.

People don't necessarily get hurt feelings if someone doesn't respond to an email (especially if, in a business setting, there's a deadline involved).  What they do feel is (at first) puzzlement, then annoyance, and finally being pissed off at whoever hasn't responded not having the courtesy to respond.  Again, because it's such a specialised project, we've been willing to actually chase some of these suppliers if they haven't come up with answers by deadlines - not something we would ever normally consider, and not something I guess that you would do either!  Because of the nature of our work, there have been times in the past when we HAVE used the highest bidder, especially if it's a contractor we've used before and whose quality of work we know to be exponentially better than someone else who has replied with a lower bid.

All of what I've written above specifically applies to a business setting.  However, I'm firmly in agreement with wallm on this one:

Again, while he is responding to Billy's comment about contractors, I don't see why FSU women can't end things with a simple response along the lines of:

Dear LOTD, I'm sorry, but I don't think we're a good enough match to continue this correspondence.  Good luck in your search.

I've written something similar to this to every FSU woman that I didn't think was the future Mrs Anotherkiwi.

Sure, you may be puzzled as to WHY she thinks this way, especially if things have been going well from your point of view.  But, as has been written here many times before, you're finished if you ever get such an email.  The WHY is not as important as the fact that she HAS ended it, so you have to simply accept it and then, as Billy (and everyone else) has said, try to forget her and just start looking for someone else.

Don't forget, though, that many FSUW have complained that they were left in the dark as to why their cyber boyfriend stopped writing, so it's not a one-way street.   I would like to hope that EVERYONE in such a situation would notify the end but, unfortunately, we don't live in a courteous paradise!

I'm in general agreement with this sentiment... like holding a door, a quick response is simple and polite. It's not the end of the world when someone ignores you, but I believe those simple acts of kindness are what really make the world go 'round.

Incidentally, through invitation of Mila's business website, I sent her a Facebook friend request which has also gone unanswered up to this point (in all fairness to her, and as some have pointed out, maybe she's just busy at the moment and will respond later).
Just a swanky P.A. yankee with a can-do attitude!

Offline lyndontom

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Re: Trip debacle
« Reply #29 on: February 06, 2018, 02:59:08 AM »

I agree with you wallm, it is only proper to show some courtesy in communications. Besides, you never know when you might be communicating with a multimillionaire who'll prove to be your most awesome client (unlikely perhaps, but it could happen)!

I partly agree on the courtesy thing, but I've found it's commonplace with any agency, hotel, apartment or whatever type service in the FSU if you indicate no short-term plans.  Write to her again when you're seriously thinking about doing something. From your posts you don't even have a vague idea of what you're going to do.

You could be a billionaire, but if you're not a man of action you'll only waste her time and yours. Would you prefer someone went on a massive sales pitch to you?

I get emails every day from people saying I'll do this and that in 12 months time...great, write back to me in 11 months time!

Offline ML

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Re: Trip debacle
« Reply #30 on: February 06, 2018, 08:06:29 AM »
I'm eager to begin some travel and perhaps just meet my special someone in person.

Sure, it's always best to eventually meet in person.
But the question is . . . how are you going to arrange this meeting?
That is the beauty of internet dating . . . to make the arrangement.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trip debacle
« Reply #31 on: February 06, 2018, 08:29:40 AM »
I'm still not sure about the whole 'meeting women online' thing... I'm eager to begin some travel and perhaps just meet my special someone in person. It just seems more natural than writing to people over the internet (who might not even be 'real'). But in either case, I'm in no rush.

I think you're right, meeting in person is best. Dating sites can help facilitate this once over there as roaming around and waiting for someone to pop up whose single may not be easy. Writung online can help in finding out more about the FSU and the dating scene there and also determining characteristics of scammers. If I were me starting back two years ago this is what I should have used it for and left the dating till I got there had I known. Still the experience all adds up and it's been a fun journey for the most part so far but that is how I would have done stuff differently now I think.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online BillyB

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Re: Trip debacle
« Reply #32 on: February 06, 2018, 09:56:34 AM »
In the kingdom of politeness however, I would have to hold an alternative opinion.



Keep in mind, nice guys don't finish last or first because they are nice. I"m sure Mila has wrote a bunch of guys and many didn't respond. I doubt she's depressed over those who don't write back or who writes back but later stops writing. Don't let what happened bother you. If she ends up writing you back and offers you a good deal, don't pass up a good deal.
There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

 

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