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Author Topic: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...  (Read 11122 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #25 on: May 21, 2018, 03:17:31 AM »
That's a great experience you had Kyn, especially girl No. 3 looks like your luck came home there. She definitely seems real into you as she wouldn't bother with wanting you to learn Russian otherwise and her affection towards you whilst there is the main thing. Do you feel the same way for her? Do you feel chemistry for her?

Anyway, good to hear you made your way around fine as it was looking like you had completely disappeared of the radar, lol.

I think you handled the process in an intelligent way stacking up a series of meet ones and moving on early from obvious no-goers and adding that time to an earlier meet up with the next prospect. Which meant if the next one turned out good as it did you had more time with her which is where you want to be.

The second girl I met was not quite as good as her photos made out so I know how the camera can lie (she had lots of small pimples on her face which could not be seen in the phood as she was stood a bit away - not real ugly but not quite as I was expecting). Anyway again I made the mistake of not Skyping beforehand, placing too much faith in photos, big mistake.

I think your journey shows that going out on single visit ones can be a pitfall as 3 of the 4 were no good. Hence why I move more towards going out there and seeing many for quick dates (well hopefully). Your experience in dating in Moscow is interesting I think and you make a good point in noting the smaller cities & towns as turning up girls with more relaxed attitudes.

Well done! :)
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Online Hammer2722

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #26 on: May 21, 2018, 10:20:15 AM »
Just read your trip report Kyn, I must say, one of the best I have read in quite a long time. Nicely done and I think you behaved like quite the gentleman. I agree with BillyB about girl 1. Don't judge her too harshly as like he said. The custom and culture there is quite different than you may be used to.

I definitely think Girl 3 is def into you and you should continue to pursue her. Now, you need to visit her as often as you can to show her you feel the same about her. Good luck and thanks for an excellent and successful TR. With lots of pics no less  :clapping:
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #27 on: May 21, 2018, 04:54:14 PM »
I actually also think you made a smart move by not having sex with her, never thought I would hear myself say that, lol. Given that she is off to Uni soon if she really is a virgin (and I don't see any reason to doubt) if you had sex now you would sexually awake her and as she's due to go to uni she might start getting it on with the guys there due to your absence. This happens with a lot of girls and invariably leads to break ups. As it is you may have helped keep that one under control & hence more loyal to you, just buy her a chasisty belt for her to wear at all times to make sure ;D

The guys in costume in Moscow I recall seeing last year. I never gave them much attention as being a near 40 year old guy at the time it wasn't my sort of scene. Though must say the Lenin & Stalin lookalikes looked most realistic. Think I overheard someone astounded at the price of it but didn't really take much notice. Like yourself I did the trip after meeting the girl I thought was right for me so was in a great mood. I never searched/dated at all while there though as felt a bit insincere but that's just me. I kind of even felt a bit bad going after meeting my last girl but had originally booked it as a follow on in case nothing happen on my visit one in Kiev. It was great to do the touristy thing though, kremlin etc lie yourself, I much enjoyed Gorky Park but this was around May time.

I know other times guys on here sag when you have found 'the' girl stop and don't carry on searching/dating like she would somehow know and it would ruin it all. I think though it's not bad to have a range of experience as you gained out there  to learn the scope of what may be found where.

The first girl I meg was a bit orthodox religous and to be honest religious types can be a real pain. It can be difficult to tell where you stand as there morals get in the way. I think you did the right thing moving on from there. The second girl was not pretty and duped you big time so couldn't have been easy I guess your journey was not looking good before you got to girl three. I do think though the main thing to take away from girl three is that if you had not met her then the whole journey would have been a series of flops and a whole different take would have been made in it. I think it goes to show how it can be a bit touch and go and quite a lot of luck involved in who you meet. Anyway, good luck with the girl and let us know how it goes :) 
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #28 on: May 21, 2018, 05:03:53 PM »
I actually also think you made a smart move by not having sex with her, never thought I would hear myself say that, lol. Given that she is off to Uni soon if she really is a virgin (and I don't see any reason to doubt) if you had sex now you would sexually awake her and as she's due to go to uni she might start getting it on with the guys there due to your absence. This happens with a lot of girls and invariably leads to break ups. As it is you may have helped keep that one under control & hence more loyal to you, just buy her a chasisty belt for her to wear at all times to make sure


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Offline BdHvA

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #29 on: May 21, 2018, 05:36:50 PM »
The first girl I meg was a bit orthodox religous and to be honest religious types can be a real pain. It can be difficult to tell where you stand as there morals get in the way.

I assume English is a bit of a challenge and you wanted to write, met.

Bur really if you do not understand Orthodox belief is part of a woman's DNA from the former Soviet Union than even heaven will not help the helpless.
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Online msmob

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #30 on: May 21, 2018, 07:49:13 PM »
Hi Kyn

Had a long day, today and have only read part of your TR ( Kazan ) so far

Really glad you are OK and thanks for posting.  I do not know the 'end', yet ..but I said you were smart :)


Looking fwd to reading the rest with wide awake eyes

 
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Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #31 on: May 21, 2018, 08:26:34 PM »
Wow!  Awesome doesn't even begin to cover it.  :clapping:

I love Kazan, but luckily I was there in September, rather than the middle of winter.  I also took a couple of photos of the church in your Pic 34, but I was luckier with the light than you.  8)

Both of you are very young, but I hope that you're able to get back to Girl3 very soon to continue what seems like a great start to your adventure.

Keep us posted.

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #32 on: May 22, 2018, 01:35:31 AM »
I assume English is a bit of a challenge and you wanted to write, met.

Bur really if you do not understand Orthodox belief is part of a woman's DNA from the former Soviet Union than even heaven will not help the helpless.

Some are more orthodox than others the only indicator I've found is if they wear a headscarf around their neck when they go out. Many wear crosses but are not necessarily that religious. It doesn't bother me but I think the more religious types are more likely to stand offish with affection.

I very much agree with Kyn on this, if she is not showing any clear sign then stuff her and move on. Much time can be wasted otherwise while she messes you about. Sure if it's down to her religion maybe understandable but I can't be bothered with all the trying to find out unless I'm obsessive about the girl.
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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #33 on: May 22, 2018, 01:38:34 AM »
Wearing a scarf around your neck has zero to do with Orthodoxy.
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Offline JayH

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #34 on: May 22, 2018, 01:44:30 AM »
Wearing a scarf around your neck has zero to do with Orthodoxy.
It never ends !  :) 
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Online msmob

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #35 on: May 22, 2018, 03:45:28 AM »
Some are more orthodox than others the only indicator I've found is if they wear a headscarf around their neck when they go out. Many wear crosses but are not necessarily that religious. It doesn't bother me but I think the more religious types are more likely to stand offish with affection.

I very much agree with Kyn on this, if she is not showing any clear sign then stuff her and move on. Much time can be wasted otherwise while she messes you about. Sure if it's down to her religion maybe understandable but I can't be bothered with all the trying to find out unless I'm obsessive about the girl.

Your cluelessness as to women in general - their behaviour - knows no limits..

1/ One of THE most passionate FSU women I ever dated was sl.religious - just took her time... another 2 I had wondered about proved v.passionate when circumstances were right

2/ As Boethius points out the scarf 'thung' is another Trench observation that is nonsense

I have now read Kyn's TR and it proves to me that WMVM would do my head in ...  ;)

Kyn - the gentlemanly way to 'finish a relationship' is face to face. 

YES, there are a lot of dysfunctional families - I think all but one of my relationships were with ladies who parents were not together

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #36 on: May 22, 2018, 04:58:04 AM »

just took her time...


Exactly :D


I have now read Kyn's TR and it proves to me that WMVM would do my head in ...  ;)

Kyn - the gentlemanly way to 'finish a relationship' is face to face. 


I think it WMVM would get a bit heavy going having to deal with all of those that were unsuitable, the weird and the wacky. It could no doubt get you down a bit after a string of them or even the odd one or two I think. I guess there is the upside of some interesting stuff happening, tourism opportunities and learning about the culture and getting more experience.

I thought that to LOL, it was like 'hey I like her' to Sis, etc, train departs, emotional farewell from her, then mobile phone 'bib beep,' a few seconds later, 'oh btw you're dumped!' and  ':'( :'( :'( :'(' from the girl. Kyn you're a harsh guy ;D and after her babushka packed you some food n'all, lol.
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #37 on: May 22, 2018, 05:21:17 AM »

Finally, today was the day I met Girl4. The last girl I've had very long correspondence with before I set out planning my trip. We met right in the afternoon, on a sunny day near her university. I handed her flowers (21 roses to be exact, fresh from the Riga Flower Market) and she was pleased. She kept telling me:"Oh it's too much!!".

"Forgive me for asking, but how much do you make as a student?" she asked, without shame. Hahaha. "Not much, just enough to live by" I answered wryly.

"Oh", said Girl4, lost in thought, seemingly becoming uninterested in our conversation, the longer it went on. We'll just leave it at that. I've pretty much lost my interest at this point.

I had a couple of other dates with various women from different backgrounds all over Moscow but none I found shared as deep a connection as Girl3. As such, I've grown to cherish her more every passing day :)

Sometimes I think Mendy was spot on, when he explained that you were more likely wasting your time in big cities like Moscow and St. Petersburg, where womens' standards and expectations were simply too much for the commoner.

To hell with their stuck up attitude and materialism! Coincidentally, little towns/cities seem to have given me the best result. Worked for me :D


I agree, and this is a great learning opportunity for me and no doubt some lurkers you have shown us here Kyn. These Moscow city career girls seem pretty close to the career girls we have across the UK here. It helps to show the difficulty faced when cracking that egg, if one so wishes to crack it. Myself like you show its is probably easiest to avoid it all together. I would imagine it is similar to finding a girl in an industrial dumpsk, you have to find one that is into you in as well as wanting out. In this case finding one where while you have money, etc to attract her you also need to find one that is into you. I similar to you do not have nearly the sort of money these girls would be satisfied with, the woman at home aren't and to be honest I find it a turn off. They no doubt find it extremely hard to meet guys matching their exacting criteria even before you get to chemistry.

Out of curiosity though, why did you buy girl 4, 21 roses when you only bought girl 3, 17 roses? If it were me I would have just bought a cheap small bunch if I already thought I had landed the girl I wanted, or perhaps even none at all, that's if I chose to carry on with the meet ups.
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Offline kynrazor

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #38 on: May 22, 2018, 08:01:00 AM »
When a woman takes all her clothes off and grinds on you, it clouds your judgement. All your brains go out the big head and down to the little head. If a woman is sexually attracted to you, don't hold it against her. Beware of the women who aren't sexually attracted to you.

Haha, duly noted Billy. I won't say it was easy but I successfully abstained from sex the whole trip as planned and left Girl3 dripping with frustration I'm sure. :-X Girl3 told me she was wet everytime I was close or when I was pinning her to her bed :rolleyes:

Kyn, I can honestly say that was the best trip report I've ever read written in ONE post.

Girl #1 - I wouldn't hold it against her that she resisted your arm being put around her waist. She's living in a Muslim conservative city and may only let her "husband" put his arm around her waist.

Girl #2 - Other men been in your shoes meeting a girl that is different than they expected. If it was the only girl they were meeting, they may have felt pressure to make it work.

Girl #3 - Sounds like she'd devoted to you and physically attracted to you. If you marry her, I hope you have a lot of stamina. Don't disappoint.

Girl #4 - Living in Moscow she probably does have higher standards. Remember me saying you being a student and not making an income to support a family is a turn off for many of these girls. If you marry girl #3, although she loves you now, if you fail to financially support the family when she comes to live with you, she will be as cold as girl #4.

Some guys twice your age can't figure out scammers and gold diggers and consequently go and visit them but you seem to have found and visited four women that doesn't meet that description. Very impressive.

Thanks for the compliments. I sorted out hundreds of profiles till I was left with these. Didn't want to waste too much time on women who didn't meet my needs, values etc in my search for my future partner if I could help it.

I wasn't too sure where Girl1 and I stood and I didn't know what to make of her slight change in attitude (i.e not wearing make-up after Day 1). Indeed, she's from a conservative family with conservative values but I doubt I was demanding too much. I simply wanted to observe clues that she's at least as serious as I was.

I am also under no illusions that one needs a decent income to support a viable future for future spouse and family. If I do end up with Girl3, I'll have to wait 2 years at most to get married and 4 years at least to have children (after she finishes her Bachelor's degree which her mother and herself are so insistent she should finish first).

Taking it from a positive perspective, that would give me a bit of time to prepare and make comfortable my nest in the lead up before our family life begins :D
Sincerely,
Kyn

Offline kynrazor

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #39 on: May 22, 2018, 08:24:32 AM »
Thank you for sharing your stories with us.  I should note that pictures 111 and 112 did not appear.  Perhaps you can share them with a follow-up post.  What is the current situation with Girl 3?

My apologies, all are now continued on a post just below yours. I probably exceeded the limits in one post.

Girl3 and I have had many serious discussions about our future life together and also with Girl3's mama. At this point in time, the plan is to get married within the next two years once I'm finished with my research work and hopefully settle down together at least 4 years from today when Girl3 finishes her degree in Moscow eventually. Then we shall start a family, and hopefully with much luck, live happily ever after. :rolleyes:

As most have noted, Girl3 is from a conservative orthodox family though her father is a non-believer but her mama prays now and then. She's told me after we get married, she'll have to go to Church at least four times per year and she thinks I should join her.

I'm not sure if religion may become a big issue. She's tried to get me to like her religion and Girl3 holds a firm belief that to love is to believe in god. Heck, she even took me to Church when I was there with her. Once inside, she proceeded to introduce me to Mary, Jesus's mother, Jesus himself, and other portraits in Church  :-[ amongst other things she did whilst inside :)

I've told her many times that I've never felt the presence of god and indeed, this was the truth. I also believed that one does not need to believe in the existence of god to be able to love but for her:"You see my darling, love IS GOD".

Then I asked her a question:"IF, I cannot feel god, but I am able to love you and I will at least try to find god, will you accept me the way I am?"

"Yes! I will guide you my darling! I know you will, one day, no matter how long it takes. Ten, Twenty Years...etc " said the lass

 :-\ Ah well, I'm not sure whether this means I and future children shall be haunted by religious texts for the rest of my life

 :ROFL: :truce:

Just read your trip report Kyn, I must say, one of the best I have read in quite a long time. Nicely done and I think you behaved like quite the gentleman. I agree with BillyB about girl 1. Don't judge her too harshly as like he said. The custom and culture there is quite different than you may be used to.

I definitely think Girl 3 is def into you and you should continue to pursue her. Now, you need to visit her as often as you can to show her you feel the same about her. Good luck and thanks for an excellent and successful TR. With lots of pics no less  :clapping:

Thanks Hammer for your kind words. Yes I've always tried to be a gentleman. 8) I did the best I could, given the circumstances so I have no regrets. A shame about Girl1 really. Perhaps I was taking things too fast.

I'm still learning. I still have ways to go as I'm not married, yet. :D Best wishes to you and spouse. I hope to see anniversary pictures soon ;D

I love Kazan, but luckily I was there in September, rather than the middle of winter.  I also took a couple of photos of the church in your Pic 34, but I was luckier with the light than you.  8)

Both of you are very young, but I hope that you're able to get back to Girl3 very soon to continue what seems like a great start to your adventure.

Keep us posted.

Thanks Kiwi. All were taken by my trusty five-year-old iPhone.  :) I'll have to concur the weather was quite harsh, ten degrees below freezing especially when I was I Kazan.

Yes indeed, we're a very young couple. I'm cautiously optimistic and hopeful for our future.  :popcorn:
« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 08:31:45 AM by kynrazor »
Sincerely,
Kyn

Offline kynrazor

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #40 on: May 22, 2018, 09:08:51 AM »
That's a great experience you had Kyn, especially girl No. 3 looks like your luck came home there. She definitely seems real into you as she wouldn't bother with wanting you to learn Russian otherwise and her affection towards you whilst there is the main thing. Do you feel the same way for her? Do you feel chemistry for her?

Anyway, good to hear you made your way around fine as it was looking like you had completely disappeared of the radar, lol.

I think your journey shows that going out on single visit ones can be a pitfall as 3 of the 4 were no good. Hence why I move more towards going out there and seeing many for quick dates (well hopefully). Your experience in dating in Moscow is interesting I think and you make a good point in noting the smaller cities & towns as turning up girls with more relaxed attitudes.

Well done! :)

Yes it's great to be back on RWD Trenchy. How's your future plans going so far?

Yes chemistry-wise, mentality-wise, values-wise etc, I think we fit really well together so suffice to say we felt the same way.

Yes indeed, I agree. I think it's also the general consensus here. You pretty much can't go wrong with Skype and it'll be better to at least video call once before you visit.

That said, her emotions were probably much stronger than mine, as is normal for women I guess.

Ah well, I just think people who go on "Visit Ones" must have been very sure of themselves from the get go, more than I was, for sure. ;) Just remember not to mess up things between each girl, including things you've told her that you haven't told the other lass.

Might I suggest bringing along a flash-card to go through the girl's profile again before you both meet for safer measure ;D (No I'm not serious :P)

I actually also think you made a smart move by not having sex with her, never thought I would hear myself say that, lol.

It was simply my personal policy. I made it a point to keep things civil as much as possible throughout my trip. I didn't want to complicate matters especially when I was going to visit multiple women. It was the least I could do to show some respect. That at least, none were emotionally damaged beyond repair. Haha, about chastity belts, perhaps I'll talk to her and see what she thinks. :rolleyes:

I never searched/dated at all while there though as felt a bit insincere but that's just me. I kind of even felt a bit bad going after meeting my last girl but had originally booked it as a follow on in case nothing happen on my visit one in Kiev. It was great to do the touristy thing though, kremlin etc like yourself, I much enjoyed Gorky Park but this was around May time.

True. It's never easy to visit many. It's the truth. One has had to compartmentalize feelings for each girl. One has to keep track of at least some of the chatter that's gone on for each girl. One has to remember each girl's personality and quirks. One has to remember to buy presents and flowers for each girl. And for me at least, one had to go to different places for each girl, most of the time.

In hindsight, Quite a logistical operation.

The first girl I meg was a bit orthodox religous and to be honest religious types can be a real pain. It can be difficult to tell where you stand as there morals get in the way. I think you did the right thing moving on from there. The second girl was not pretty and duped you big time so couldn't have been easy I guess your journey was not looking good before you got to girl three. I do think though the main thing to take away from girl three is that if you had not met her then the whole journey would have been a series of flops and a whole different take would have been made in it. I think it goes to show how it can be a bit touch and go and quite a lot of luck involved in who you meet. Anyway, good luck with the girl and let us know how it goes :)

In regards to the issue of religion, as I've noted above, I'm not very sure how this might play out. I'm cautiously optimistic as of now. And I'm feeling lucky :P I hope we'll work something out and she won't turn our future children into devout obsessive Christians. I think we shared many of the same values "be it Christianity or not" and I hope it would suffice. Like her, I believe in marriage and a strong family.

I concur and I think there's always quite an element of luck involved. Well, just have to keep going through the dates till you find one who shares similar values and eventually a strong connection I guess :)

I think it WMVM would get a bit heavy going having to deal with all of those that were unsuitable, the weird and the wacky. It could no doubt get you down a bit after a string of them or even the odd one or two I think.

I thought that to LOL, it was like 'hey I like her' to Sis, etc, train departs, emotional farewell from her, then mobile phone 'bib beep,' a few seconds later, 'oh btw you're dumped!' and  ':'( :'( :'( :'(' from the girl. Kyn you're a harsh guy ;D and after her babushka packed you some food n'all, lol.

Nah, I doubt I was overly harsh. ;D It was my second time in Russia in unfamiliar lands with unfamiliar people without the knowledge of the Russian language. One doesn't want to wonder what might happen if I get abandoned by girl after knowing it's over.

If this was in the UK, it would have been very different for sure :D

Out of curiosity though, why did you buy girl 4, 21 roses when you only bought girl 3, 17 roses? If it were me I would have just bought a cheap small bunch if I already thought I had landed the girl I wanted, or perhaps even none at all, that's if I chose to carry on with the meet ups.

21 roses because Girl4 was already 22. 17 roses because Girl3 was already 18 this year. Heard it wouldn't be nice to give even numbers. :rolleyes:

I didn't save any expense on the roses as I thought it best to give all women a happy enjoyable time, as much as I could :D
« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 09:11:33 AM by kynrazor »
Sincerely,
Kyn

Offline kynrazor

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #41 on: May 22, 2018, 09:42:57 AM »
Hi Kyn

Had a long day, today and have only read part of your TR ( Kazan ) so far

Really glad you are OK and thanks for posting.  I do not know the 'end', yet ..but I said you were smart :)

Looking fwd to reading the rest with wide awake eyes
Thanks msmob. Appreciate your kind words. :) It's good to be back and about on RWD.

1/ One of THE most passionate FSU women I ever dated was sl.religious - just took her time... another 2 I had wondered about proved v.passionate when circumstances were right
Haha, shy in public but liberally passionate in bed ;D I think it holds true for most Russian women and is the common stereotype for Russian women for good reason :rolleyes: I certainly hope I'll be able to keep up in the future.

And perhaps more so, for religious women as they've been saving their sexual energy for their one and only, :D :-[

YES, there are a lot of dysfunctional families - I think all but one of my relationships were with ladies who parents were not together
Indeed, I really wonder why. I've heard such family dis-integration was already happening even before the collapse of the Soviet Union.

I have now read Kyn's TR and it proves to me that WMVM would do my head in ...  ;)

Kyn - the gentlemanly way to 'finish a relationship' is face to face. 
I think it's true msmob and I agree it's not easy to go on a WMVM.

I had to compartmentalize feelings for each lass.

I had to remember each girl's personality quirks and the notable conversations that we've had amongst one another.

I had to remember to buy presents and flowers for each girl.

I had to go to different places for each girl.

And most of all, I had to make sure not to be found out :-X or it'll be utter disaster! :trainwreck: :rolleyes: In hindsight, it was quite a logistical nightmare, which took much careful deliberation.

Ah msmob, I've always tried my best to be a gentleman, as much as I can :), given the circumstances. I was in Russia in unfamiliar lands, with unfamiliar people, without any ability to converse in Russian. I don't want to imagine what might happen if I get abandoned by girl made spiteful after knowing it's over. I did not want leave it to chance, at least for this trip :-[

That said, I learnt a great deal from this one trip alone and I'm happy I went for it :luv:
« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 09:55:14 AM by kynrazor »
Sincerely,
Kyn

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #42 on: May 22, 2018, 10:28:42 AM »
Really a great TR Kyn, and a lot of interesting sidenotes to it all, and best of all you show this is all possible with the right mindset.

I am impressed with all the logistics of it all, and to do this in a country that lacks so much ability to communicate in English, only that is quite the accomplishment.

I really cheer for you and this no:3, a real cute one. When are the plans to go back to just meet her?
I remember my own travels, they always ended with me starting the plan to go back  - on the plane back home  :D

I agree with what a few said here about the first girl, that was the result of a cultural and religious difference more then anything judging by your description.

I experienced something similar on one of my first trips where I met a girl in Sumy, while I was there she was quite distant, very closed of, but very sweet and nice over all, everything stopped with a kiss on the cheeks for 4 days.
So when I got home and more or less discarded her because I didn't feel she was in to me, then she showed all her feelings, and she missed me so much, how she wanted to spend her life with me. I was completely stumped and when I asked her and sort of confronted her about what I had felt while being there, she just said, this was how she was taught to behave, how a lady (good girl) behaves. She didn't want to lead me on without seeing I was really serious. It was mostly cultural with her, so I can imagine that your girls surrounding religious upbringing also have a big impact.
I chalked that down in my - mistakes book - and learned from it. And it seems, so have you :)

All in all I applaud your report, refreshing and interesting  :applause:
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #43 on: May 22, 2018, 11:45:27 AM »
Yes it's great to be back on RWD Trenchy. How's your future plans going so far?

Yes chemistry-wise, mentality-wise, values-wise etc, I think we fit really well together so suffice to say we felt the same way.

Ah well, I just think people who go on "Visit Ones" must have been very sure of themselves from the get go, more than I was, for sure. ;) Just remember not to mess up things between each girl, including things you've told her that you haven't told the other lass.

True. It's never easy to visit many. It's the truth. One has had to compartmentalize feelings for each girl. One has to keep track of at least some of the chatter that's gone on for each girl. One has to remember each girl's personality and quirks. One has to remember to buy presents and flowers for each girl. And for me at least, one had to go to different places for each girl, most of the time.

In hindsight, Quite a logistical operation.

In regards to the issue of religion, as I've noted above, I'm not very sure how this might play out. I'm cautiously optimistic as of now. And I'm feeling lucky :P I hope we'll work something out and she won't turn our future children into devout obsessive Christians. I think we shared many of the same values "be it Christianity or not" and I hope it would suffice. Like her, I believe in marriage and a strong family.

I concur and I think there's always quite an element of luck involved. Well, just have to keep going through the dates till you find one who shares similar values and eventually a strong connection I guess :)

Nah, I doubt I was overly harsh. ;D It was my second time in Russia in unfamiliar lands with unfamiliar people without the knowledge of the Russian language. One doesn't want to wonder what might happen if I get abandoned by girl after knowing it's over.

If this was in the UK, it would have been very different for sure :D

21 roses because Girl4 was already 22. 17 roses because Girl3 was already 18 this year. Heard it wouldn't be nice to give even numbers. :rolleyes:

I didn't save any expense on the roses as I thought it best to give all women a happy enjoyable time, as much as I could :D

Lol, so you did it like that to avoid her abandoning you to find your on way on your journey :ROFL:

Yeah, I probably wouldn't have told her there in person either as I think it would just cause bad feeling and she probably would have abandoned you. Even I would not be socially unskilled enough to break it to her there & then having spent a few days together. To my mind in person is more for people who have been in a LTR or just a one day/hour date. If its a few days and they've shared their life wife you its a bit awkward unless there is no other way I think. I myself would probably give it a bit of time, a few messages, a bit of time to slide then do it. If it was just a meet up or meet one but you wanted to end it on the first day then that's fine I think, but that's just me.

I think it actually worked well for you doing different cities as at least then it kept you from bumping into the other girl, her family or fear off so it gave you more space to relax with each girl in, and of course means you won't bump into the others when you revisit girl 3. The logistics though I know can be a pain with multiple locations as although stuff like the internet make it easier it still takes quite a lot of time to plan and co-ordinate to make sure no goof ups are made.

The religion thing with girl 3, well when you said her father in not religious and her mother just a little it sounded like they were not too religious overall, then you said about the girl and it looks like she is more so than both, lol. I'm guessing this may be a result of the greater attraction to religion among the young compared with Soviet times. To me its usually strange that a child is more so religious than her parents as here as you know in the UK it is normally the same or less religious though no doubt exceptions apply. I myself am not at all religious and I think I would just tell a woman that 'Ok for you to go ahead and do it, I will go to church with you whenever you wish (hopefully not too often) and be there for you, but I have no interest in taking up religion myself' For me that would be the most honest way about it as I would not wish her to think I have any notion of taking it up. With a bit of lucky though hopefully she will relax about the difference and not tense up. I often find if someone mentions it like she did its normally a big deal for them as their world revolves around it and the fear is she may become difficult to ease up on it.

The idea with the roses relating them to the girls age is a good touch you made ;D and I think no doubt played well. I kind of find though whatever the rose(s) its still whether the girl is into you that counts at the end of the day. Anyway, well done with girl 3 :)



Ah, well yes for me its Lviv in early June so just over a couple of weeks away, I am flying by the seat of my pants on this one (well hopefully not literally ;D ) While I agree that Skype is essential for visit ones, here I am just doing meet many, well hopefully many and not the few! I am going to maintain strict discipline and not message any women till I am there. I will have about 10 full days to meet them in so I will meet up in a nice local cafe and see if there is any chemistry with those who I meet. Lviv seems to be a nice place so if this strategy falls flat then at least I'll have a nice place to enjoy over there. I've booked a nice apartment in town quite cosy looking so should help avoid feeling too drab at all with a bit of luck. So will see how it goes, if it does not go well then I will reassess the strategy and try something else, I am quite hopeful though that something might come of it, will trip report soon :) 
« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 11:58:16 AM by Trenchcoat »
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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #44 on: May 22, 2018, 01:44:07 PM »
I wouldn't worry too much about Moby telling you that you need to terminate a relationship face-to-face.  By your own account you behaved as a gentleman.  And, forgoing intimate relations, your 'relationship' consists of one visit.  Not only is it not required that you present yourself to tell the woman, who you haven't been intimate with, that you have only seen once and for a brief visit, to tell her you that you do not wish to continue.  It is also impractical.

The best thing to do, in such circumstances, is not to make a big thing about it and to let the woman know promptly.  That is exactly what you did. 

Moby thinks he is god's gift to women.  But his history belies that thought.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #45 on: May 22, 2018, 03:04:19 PM »
I agree with moby, and it's not because of his views on women.  You slept in her family's apartment for four days.  She ensured you were well cared for - fed, saw the sites.  She introduced you to her family.  I think that warrants at least a skype call, or something more personal than a text message.  Plus, that should have been sent not immediately, but after a few days or even weeks later.  It would have spared her feelings.  I view the way you approached this as rather selfish and self serving.  You didn't think of her feelings.
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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #46 on: May 22, 2018, 04:25:18 PM »
You didn't think of her feelings.

Many FSU women drop men like a hot potato. Men come here and complain those women are inconsiderate. Actually those women do care about the men's feelings and are doing them a favor. The faster Kyn drops the girls he visited, the faster and easier they will be able to move on to another guy. If he gets on Skype and she begs him for a second chance or tries to get him to maintain contact just as a friend, she'll be on the hook longer thinking she's got a chance with him.
There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #47 on: May 22, 2018, 04:53:46 PM »
I agree with moby, and it's not because of his views on women.  You slept in her family's apartment for four days.  She ensured you were well cared for - fed, saw the sites.  She introduced you to her family.  I think that warrants at least a skype call, or something more personal than a text message.  Plus, that should have been sent not immediately, but after a few days or even weeks later.  It would have spared her feelings.  I view the way you approached this as rather selfish and self serving.  You didn't think of her feelings.

Ah cut me some slack Boe, perhaps with hindsight I could've done more. I thanked her and Grandma and gifted them with souvenirs from home.

Hmm, do you think Girl1 and I stood any chance at all? :-\ She couldn't or didn't want to give answers and I was left hanging there, not knowing where this was all going. If she had feelings, I needed her to have told me :-[
« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 04:59:33 PM by kynrazor »
Sincerely,
Kyn

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #48 on: May 22, 2018, 05:02:47 PM »
I'm just saying you handled it poorly.  Had you not been in her grandmother's home, had they not taken care of you and opened their home, and their family history to you, then your actions would have been acceptable.   

I think four days is a bit soon to expect a young girl to give you indications of her feelings.  She probably didn't know what her feelings were.  I just think what you did was very unfeeling.  In your shoes, I would send her an apology about how you told her.  There is nothing wrong in deciding she's not the one for you, for whatever reason.  But you could have done it in a far more sensitive manner.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 05:12:01 PM by Boethius »
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #49 on: May 22, 2018, 05:38:45 PM »
Ahh, you traveled 1500 miles for a blind date with a woman.  For whatever reason, cultural mores or lack of interest, she was not receptive, according to our OP (woman one).  To kill the relationship does not mean that you remain friends.  If you wish, you can add very nice things in telling her that she is not the one for you.  You do it as gently as possible.  But you do it.  You don't leave her hanging, expecting a call or whatever.   That is not self-serving.  You don't leave someone on the hook, tailing it off.  That is self-serving. 

We, as men, are traveling around the world to date women in the FSU.  It is more than a few meals and a roof over our heads, we are putting into these trips our financial resources and our time.  The outlay is much greater than that of the women who only have to present themselves. 

Dating in the present world is difficult at best.  Dating around the world and trying to ascertain the heart of a woman you just met is even more difficult.  Skype.  Viber.  Any of these communication devices are only facsimiles of time spent together.  And a man and a woman know the chemistry, almost immediately, upon meeting. 

I think our OP did the best he could do in his circumstances.  But, I will say, that no matter who I stayed with when I traveled, I would always send a thank-you note or gift, recognizing their efforts.

Now, I need to say something to the OP about #3.  She has a lot of temptation in front of her.  She's only 18 and is a pretty gal.  When she goes away to college she will not have her parents to answer to.  Keep the relationship alive, to be the best of your ability, but don't be surprised if she takes a fork in the road. Neither you, nor she, are ready to be married yet.  If she remains steadfast, then you have a good woman.  But at 18, I know few women who went to college that were ready to be in a relationship that would last a lifetime.  (And here I should say especially a gal who is as sexually charged as she seems to be.)

I have to agree with Nightwish.  While you didn't get the vibe you were looking for from #1, I believe that she was probably the most ready to start a life with a man.  Just sayin.



Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

 

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