Help! email complications, red flags?

[Kvinna]

IMHO

1. why do you think guys she should stay at one apartment with stranger? he is stranger for her even if they corresponded for years

2. Maybe she is afraid to meet him face to face and with iterpreter she will feel more comfortable? Why none thinks about this issue

3. If I was in her plce I wouldn't introduce him to my friend in the first date... whatever for? If this date will not work out how would I feel with my friends after this introduction?

But I really wonder how could you chooce someone who even doesn't speak english? It looks like a competitions of hunting, who is able to hit the more women

[Elen]

.

If I was in her plce I wouldn't introduce him to my friend in the first date... whatever for? If this date will not work out how would I feel with my friends after this introduction?

 Yes I agree I would not want to explain to friend where my "fiances" vanish  "each time"  And such questions will fly up to the last day of my life:?

 

[Bruno]

[line]
We studied this fable " A fox and a crow " by Krylov  in primary school
[line]


not "by Krylov" but "copied by Krylov".... the original writer is French, La Fontaine... he have life around 100 before Krylov... in 1805, Krylov have translate and copy fable of La Fontaine... and he have begin know some success... only after this, he have begin write his own fable... and poeme , and satire...

http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/krylov.htm

[Kvinna]

[line]
We studied this fable " A fox and a crow " by Krylov  in primary school
[line]
 

not "by Krylov" but "copied by Krylov".... the original writer is French, La Fontaine... he have life around 100 before Krylov... in 1805, Krylov have translate and copy fable of La Fontaine... and he have begin know some success... only after this, he have begin write his own fable... and poeme , and satire...

http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/krylov.htm

 

well well well, if to talk from the beginning not "by La Fontaine", but "copied by La Fontaine" because.... so on so on son

 see Esope http://www.arbredor.com/auteurs/esope.html

[Elen]

Never mind in Russian that was written by Krylov. And the moral stays the same:P:P:P

[Bruno]

Helen, Kvinna, you have right...

All our western culture is based on the romain empire who is based on the antique Griek culture... the first democracy... in some way, we are all brother and sister...

[Muzh]

I also wonder myself.  But that is my POV.  I know this local couple that when they met she didn't know a word of English and he didn't know a word of Russian.  He just walked over to her and said "I'm going to marry you."  This was not a tour.  He was in Moscow on business.  So it works for other people.

[Photo Guy]

If I was in her plce I wouldn't introduce him to my friend in the first date... whatever for? If this date will not work out how would I feel with my friends after this introduction?

 Yes I agree I would not want to explain to friend where my "fiances" vanish  "each time" And such questions will fly up to the last day of my life:?
[/quote]

Yes, Kvinna has some good points. Meeting her for the first time
AWAY from her home town has benefits. If things go well,
I'll make a second trip later in the year to Mariupol. As for the apartment, I've decided to get two separate apartments. Mine will
have 2 bedrooms and hers will have 1. I'll have mine for the
entire week. She'll have hers for two nights. After those first two days, we'll decide if she's staying in my spare bedroom or
going home alone to Mariupol. I'm giving her the benefit of
the doubt, in as far as her requirement for a separate apartment.
I don't have much to lose. I have a lot to gain.  -doug

[Photo Guy]

IMHO

1. why do you think guys she should stay at one apartment with stranger? he is stranger for her even if they corresponded for years

2. Maybe she is afraid to meet him face to face and with iterpreter she will feel more comfortable? Why none thinks about this issue

3. If I was in her plce I wouldn't introduce him to my friend in the first date... whatever for? If this date will not work out how would I feel with my friends after this introduction?

But I really wonder how could you chooce someone who even doesn't speak english? It looks like a competitions of hunting, who is able to hit the more women

1-Yeah, she feels this way. She has mixed feelings.
2- Yes. Totally. But sometimes you have to do something scary.
3- Who am I competing with? My friends and family here in Phoenix
think: 'There goes Doug being a weird individualist again.'
I'm not hitting on a bunch of women, although I probably should.
I was doing the 'write one. visit one' strategy.

There have been guys here at RWD who have offered the opinion
that one should not overlook women who can't speak English.
The lack of English may prove to be a major obstacle with Larisa.
We'll see. I do know that Larisa is my personality type. I've enjoyed
our many translated emails. Now I'll meet her and see if there's
chemistry. If not, I'll still have a fun first trip to a strange land. -doug

[Photo Guy]

IMHO

1. why do you think guys she should stay at one apartment with stranger? he is stranger for her even if they corresponded for years

My first reaction was...'Larisa, I thought you would WANT to stay
with me. I will be the same person you have been emailing these
past three months.'   I didn't write it precisely that way, but
that's how I felt.  -doug

[Elen]

3. If I was in her plce I wouldn't introduce him to my friend in the first date... whatever for? If this date will not work out how would I feel with my friends after this introduction?

You lost me here.  Are you saying that you would be concerned about what your friends would say?

As for me I would be concerned what my friends would say if I introduce them "fiance" number N who would vanish after that with out track like previous (N-1) suiters did:?.

 Friends are only for HUSBANDS:P:P

[Photo Guy]

Find out if the interpreter is cute... insist on an apartment with a king size bed...and let the good time's roll.  Besides, you would be amazed at how quickly you can learn a foreign language under some conditions.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.  You should NOT let her bring an interpreter.  I would have one in reserve in Kiev if it is needed.   I'm sure someone on the board can recommend one.  I agree with the others on the board; she is definitely testing how far she can push you.  Until you say something, she will walk all over you.  It is just human nature to test boundaries, and she is definitely testing yours.

LOL. Todd, In some ways we do think alike. Ha.
Yeah, I laid down the law, in a warm fuzzy way. I'm waiting for
her reply. Maybe I accidentally seduced her interpreter along
the way. I gave Larisa the option of having me come to
Mariupol directly. My balls in her court now. We'll see if she
gets aggressive or submissive.  -doug L.

[Photo Guy]

BTW, what is totally messed-up, is the fact that her
interpreter is translating my email, which tells Larisa
NOT to bring the INTERPRETER to Kiev!  I didn't foresee this complication, and I'm disgusted with the agency's control of our emails. I've learned a lesson here. Who knows how accurately she'll translate my suggestion/edict? It's my stupid fault for using
the agency in the first place.   -doug on the verge

[Elen]

Find out if the interpreter is cute...

There is another way to get rid of interpreter, let start to inquire your girl about her - how old your interpreter, has she nice look, is she married and so far...

You will see your girl will fire interpreter by herself;)

(let write all that on russian - we will help you:D:D)

 

 

[Photo Guy]

Elen,
Hmmm. Yes, maybe I could try something like that.
I won't make it too obvious. I won't ask her if the interpreter
is cute. I'll ask her how old she is and if she's 'friendly'.  

[Elen]

If seriuose what is wrong with THAT (her) enterpreter , you are  worried about?

The money you should pay? or you don't trust "an accuracy of  translation" or you think it would ruin "privacy"?

[Photo Guy]

I am willing to pay for a local translator in Kiev.
Based on my our email translations, I think I could find a translator
who is more accurate. If Larisa brings her interpreter with her
from Mariupol, I must pay for the interpreter's lodgings and
transportation to and from Kiev. Larisa wants to bring her as
a 'friend' who knows our emails well. She translated them.
She will be emotional support for Larisa. I think the interpreter could
easily be a distraction for Larisa. I want to spend time alone with
Larisa, even if its only walking in the park together.

Also, I do not trust the interpreter's agency, which is connected with
anastasiaweb.com   I have asked Larisa how much her
interpreter's fee will be and I'm still waiting for an answer. After reading RWD, I'm skeptical about this agency. I'm worried there's a scam in the works. Maybe I'm being paranoid? How can a translator
afford to pack her bags and travel to Kiev, and create a vacancy
at the Mariupol office? I get the feeling Larisa is being manipulated
by the agency's interpreter, or even worse, they both are trying
to manipulate me.   -doug

[Bruno]

Doug,

if you have problem with Anastasia Web... visit http://agencyscams.com/Alert.htm ...

"We believe this to be the largest SCAM in US history and we are filing a Multi Plaintiff Lawsuit in Federal Court against them. If you have been SCAMMED it will cost you nothing to joining the lawsuit. If you have questions or have lost money with this company please contact me directly David Starkey 918-342-3648"

[Turboguy]

I think I would be real careful with that one.   You might find yourself with lots of free time to look for a lady if it comes off wrong.

[in_phoenix]

Dude I don't know about this one.  I read this one e-mail but you probably know better from the other talks you had with her.  To me, her e-mail comes off a little pushy for me, but maybe that is just the way it was translated.  Dude it is your money and in the first paragraph she is already telling you that 300 is not enough, then she is calling the shots to the translator, not to mention the extra cost for the extra apartment.  You're dropping the dime and it comes off like oh well sorry.

I can understand about the seperate apartments.  It could be awkward on the first meeting and she is taking procaution especially since she is meeting you in a different city.  The translator thing bothers me though.  I would have to go with your own independant one.  Who knows if hers sugar coats to make it sound better or just knows what exactly you would like to hear.  Why would she reject an independant translator, she speaks it is translated, you speak it is translated with no extra emotions in it.  Has nothing to do with the fact that someone else read all your mail and knows your story.

Also reading further down, you stated the two bedroom for you and the one bedroom for her but you still need to account for the translator unless she is staying with you or sleeping in the same bed with your girl.  Not to mention that you are going to have to pay her expenses while she is there, so it will be one more mouth to feed.

Best bet would be to meet her in her home town or say closer to it.  Save the cost of the extra apartment, save the cost of paying the interpreters expenses for room, food and travel.  If she is looking so the additional support of having her translator travel with her then hell maybe she would be more comfortable back in her home town where she will have her own place to stay and her own network of friends.  As far as the friends go, is there no way to actually go out and not run into the friends?  I know here if I want to avoid people then I'll go to a different part of town.  Maybe that is not so simple there?  Regardless, I'm sure her friends are going to know that she left town to go meet some guy.  Not to mention the fact that she probably already talked you up to her friends.  Will it still not be an embarrassment when all of a sudden if this does not work that she starts talking about a different guy to her friends?  They still are going to ask her what the hell happened!  Yeah I don't buy the embarrassment theory.

I don't know dude, you seem to be on the fence with this one.  On one hand I don't think you will be truely satisfied until you meet her and find out first hand if she is the one or not.  It appears to me that you already have it set that you want to meet her.  This is ultimately your decision.

I don't know because I'm not where you are today, so I can not walk in your shoes.  Who knows what I'll end up doing when I get there.  It just seems to me that some of the control here has been giving up and that you are no longer calling all the shots.  I mean hell you are paying for everything and going all the way over there, I just think that you should have more say in what is going to happen.  I understand it needs to be some give and take but don't just let her take all of it.

I hope I didn't offend you, just adding my own 0.02 here and trying to watch you back.

[Photo Guy]

In Phoenix,

We've exchanged a few more emails. She has given in and agrees to
use the interpreter that I have chosen. I am in the process of
completing reservations for two rooms in a hotel. One for Larisa,
and one for me. All of my women friends think it makes sense for
her to have a separate residence. I don't have a problem with that.
Other than these logistics, our emails are still very affectionate.
But, how can we explain her cavalier attitude about my spending
300 hryvnias for a 20 minute phone call, rather than using my
own non-agency interpreter and phone card? She says she doesn't know
if 300 hyrvnias is a lot of money for that call. Could that be true?
Her next email will probably tell me how much she thinks I should send
her for her train fare. We'll see how she handles it. If she tells me
$80, I'll know she is TOO interested in my money. Feel free to send me
a private message so we can exchange contact info. Doug

[in_phoenix]

Cool I'm glad things seem to be working out.  I'm sorry I think I miss read something about the 300.  I was under the impression that you converted money already in preparation for your trip and she was telling you that was not going to be enough.  My bad on that.  I read it as if she was telling you to bring more money.

But now that part is cleared up, Yeah I agree about the room thing.  It is only fair to everyone.  With one room it was more or less telling her that was the way it was going to be and that could have been uncomfortable.  I'm thinking that she will probably end up liking you and then she will end up staying in the same room, but it does give her options.  Good choice.

You know, my attitudes are changing.  I'm starting to think it might not matter if you were to not meet her in her home town.  The more I think about it the more I don't think it is not as important, well .  So you meet her in a neutral place for the first meeting, see if you like her and then if all works then go back there the next time.  I don't know what your spending for your plane tickets, I was checking earlier today for a future date and it looks to be around $1400 to $1500 for the RT.  Christ you'll dump that on a few dates with the gold diggers in our towns.  Hell everyone knows us Americans can always use more time off from the job so you go back a second time if the two of you feel real strong about each other.

 

I'll send you a PM.

[deden]

Photo guy,

 

If I could only give you one piece of advice it would be this-  You MUST have a translator that you can TRUST will tell you everything the women says.  This I know from personal experience in having a translator that worked for me who would tell me when the girl said in Russian "but don't translate this".  You won't believe what a women will tell another women (the translator), even when she knows the translator works for you.  Fortunately my translator was honest with me and would confide in me what the women would say that she didn't want translated.  While this didn't happen often, it did happen on several occassions.  Always use your own translator, and ask her how you say in Russian "don't translate that" or "don't tell him that".  If you use a translator, these should be the first Russian words you learn.  When you hear those words, ask your translator what she said.  Do NOT use the agency or her translator, find your own independent translator even if it costs you more.

Also, and I know some guys don't like these, but if the chemistry is there, your going to want to get rid of the translator.  I like the electronic translators and you only need a simple electronic English/Russian dictionary one to use when you need to get a few key words across to each other.  Because if the chemistry is there, the language barrier will not be a problem and you will learn how to quickly communicate to each other.

Just my 2.5 kopecks

[Elen]

Always use your own translator, and ask her how you say in Russian "don't translate that" or "don't tell him that"

 

"don't translate that - Не переводи это (Nye perevodi eto)

"don't tell him that"  Не говори ему это (Nye govori yemu eto)

[Photo Guy]

John, a few people here, including Russian women like Elen,
have made a good point about meeting in a neutral city.
If we meet and the chemistry is not good, it could be awkward
in the presence of friends and family. With meeting in Kiev, there
will be less pressure on her. She won't have to worry about me
embarrassing her or offending those people closest to her.
She was totally willing to meet me inher home town, but said she
would rather meet in Kiev. She said the final decision was up to me.
She's accomodating. We both see this as a test and if we pass, we will
move over to her home city in the near future. She's pragmatic.
She's cautious. I understand how she feels. My only problem is with
her relationship with her agency and her interpreter. She sort of
depends on them emotionally. She probably feels like they feed her
my emails. My last postal letter explained clearly how I want to
divorce ourselves from THE AGENCY. I did not feel comfortable communicating that idea through THE AGENCY's email service, obviously.
The agency obviously wants to maintain email communications and
keep Larisa dependent on the Agency's services. As far as I know,
THE AGENCY kisses her ass as much as possible. That should be my job.
Doug