It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: Tinder - Am I crazy?  (Read 5067 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Gb1015

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 35
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #25 on: July 18, 2018, 06:06:46 AM »
"...I will get my tinder lay in a month" - man you are not ready for marriage if you think and talk like that. You sound like a pimply, horny frat boy.

If posters here think your shit stinks and say so, don't call it being negative. It's called experience which you obviously lack in spades. After all, it was you who was asking for advice. Your ego is shielding you from what you don't want to hear, classic case of confirmation bias.

You are either thinking with your dick or in some fantasy land. Wanting to marry someone you haven't even met? Is that right? To a 20 year-old who doesn't even speak the same language? Off the back of some instagram photos? And a Muscovite model? Do you know what those girls are usually like? (I do) Have you ever dated a model? (I have) Have you ever dated Russian women? (I have) Have you even been to Moscow? (I have; will return in a few weeks)

Listen and learn grasshopper.

You are both bedazzled; you by a Russian beauty, she by Miami and a "Miami Vice lifestyle".



All the best, but this has the hallmarks of crash and burn. Not because she's a gold digger (and the odds are she could be), but because you're both really immature and at risk of being out of your depth in such a relationship.

And if you've got prenups on your mind, you're thinking like a lawyer and not a husband. Don't mistake an idiot for a fool. Your ego may not spot the






This ones all over the place. Im a frat boy acting like a lawyer. My ego is shielding me. My brother. I never once said I have the answers. Fact is. No one situation is the same. Thatís what you guys fail to consider. I like people like you.

And dude. Calling someone a frat boy while boating about your Russian model catalogue and calling out ego is comical. But expected from An internet expert. Boast non-verifiable experience that no one inquired about to substantiate a point they have no evidence to support.

I hope youre sitting in your penthouse with a top 10 model and a lambo sitting in the parking garage to be offering the perspective you are giving. Because fact is, if youíre not, or if not at least faithfully married to a loyal women. Because if you are not, you really donít have the patent on a special formula. You just have a very negative opinion. And it shows by the fact that youre old apparently unmarried.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2018, 06:32:33 AM by AnonMod »

Online BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12010
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
    • Good Story
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #26 on: July 18, 2018, 08:33:06 AM »
And at a minimum, I will get my tinder lay in a month.


Since you're considering the woman for a wife, make sure the big head does some thinking too. While you are there, you need to observe if she's wife material. No matter how beautiful she is, if she's not wife material, don't marry her. There's no guarantee a prenup will save you.  If she's smart, she will be evaluating you to see if you're husband material.

Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Online LAman

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1754
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #27 on: July 18, 2018, 08:39:21 AM »
Hello everyone,

Thanks for reading my post. I wanted to get some advice on here. About two months ago I was swiping on tinder while in Miami for women in Moscow. I was mainly doing this out of curiosity with the idea of possibly planning a trip in the future. While swiping, I found this one girl. We did not match but I sent her a message through instagram. She did not respond immediately but when she did she advised me that she only speaks Russian. I thought to myself, no issue, google translate. At first she was not very communicative and understandably so, a random dudes message on instagram from across the world is not the most attractive of scenarios to meet someone. However, over time, we began to get to know each other and speak more and more. First off, this girl is absolutely gorgeous. Model type as I am sure everyone on here is familiar with.

That being said, I am not a sucker. I know the risk associated with a beautiful women across the world.  I am not inexperienced with meeting foreign women. Frankly, the vast majority have been very angled or intentioned, which at times I have shamefully used to my advantage. Never did I allow myself to actually get caught in a hustle, usually, you can tell if you are completely honest with yourself. Obviously, this is just my opinion.

I write on this forum not because I have any suspicions that this woman is hustling me but more because of the stigma associated with falling for a woman online who lives in Russia. There is a lot of negative rhetoric regarding same.

After getting to know this woman, I realized that she is very normal, sweet and kind. For instance, a typical Friday night for her consists of dinner with her mother. She is in University to be a Doctor. We share many of the same views on life and what is important in the world. We have similar backgrounds, her father was absent in her life. My mother was absent in mine. We both are born from young parents so our relationship's with our single parent is more of a friendship. In some ways this has made us both seek loyalty in a relationship more than anything else. Needless to say, we really hit it off. She is 20 and I am 27. I am a lawyer who works as a legislative analyst in Miami.

After only 3 months of talking, I am going to visit Moscow in a month to met her and her mother. We have already spoken about getting married which was really my idea. The biggest issue for us right now is the transferring of credits from her current university to a university in Florida. She does not want to stop school. Which I completely understand and want to support.

I guess, I am writing to those with experience on whether anyone has ever done something similar to this. Really any comments or thoughts are welcomed.

I do not consider myself to know everything so I always seek help and input.

Of course you are crazy. You mind is not fully functioning properly, that what (this) girl can do to you. Why would someone speak about marriage without ever meeting in person? Not to mention you both don't speak same language, i am sure your deep conversations about life, experiences, expectations are clear on translation apps.

Out of curiosity, what did you mean ' we were not a match'?

Your situation sounds much like an exciting new adventure, thats what makes it exciting. Just remember, this girl is 20, she will change much in next few years. Good idea to meet and spend some time together. If you need some ideas on what to do in Moscow just ask. It's an exciting city.


I wish you good luck but don't rush into anything........ and don't take a ring with you!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Online rwd123

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 80
  • Country: ua
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #28 on: July 18, 2018, 09:08:50 AM »
Like I said, you don't know the difference between an idiot and a fool.

You may read but you won't learn, because you are blinkered to what you want to hear. This is not about me. If you don't think I have credibility then ignore my posts. But why would I care to bullshit on this forum (or its predecessor RWG)? I've got plenty of experience from my times in the FSU over the last 15 years - have you been even once? I have lived there. I'll be back there in a fortnight too.

Ever dealt with registration issues, crooked cops, street scammers, jealous ex-boyfriends, pickpockets, riding in crowded marshrutkas, negotiating taxi fares in Russian (and getting ripped off), being hounded by taxi drivers at airports, having chai or pelmeni with the parents, navigating icy sidewalks, dealing with drunks and gopniks? Guess what - I have.

And that's not even getting to the mine field of dating. Ever dated a girl who doesn't speak English, and have her friend tag along as interpreter? Do you know how frustrating that can be? It can be utterly excruciating. And how much Russian do you speak? Know how to spot a gold digger looking for a sponsor or padarki? They will lead you by the pecker and bleed you of dengi. And models don't necessarily make the best dates or best wives, they can have massive psychological insecurities and be awfully spoilt (particularly in Moscow). There's a reason Russian rockets are called Katyushas. Small tip - don't date an alcoholic. Yes, there are female ones too.

Ever been in a communal banya? Or to a dacha, or know what an ogorod is? Been to a village in the middle of nowhere? (Krimster will show you a few, haha) Travelled plaatskart before? Know the difference between olivier and vinegrette salads? (or mors and compot, haha) Did you send flowers to your girl AND her mother on the eighth of March? Know the difference between Ded Moroz and Baba Yaga? Been invited to hunt wolves? Know the difference between Yuri Nikulin and Yuri Gagarin? (she may not but her mother will) Know who Max Otto von Stirlitz is? (the guy who inspired Putin to join the KGB) How much have you learned about Russian culture? If you're lucky you might get introduced to popugai kesha or bremenskiye muzikanti... but that's unlikely for a few years (if at all). Nailed the alphabet yet? She won't be into Shah or Korrozia Metalla, but at a stretch may like some Aria.

I have no reason to bullshit. I'm the real McCoy.

There is no special formula to relationships, but if you've been around long enough, you can recognise the warning signs. You have shown plenty. Feel free to ignore them if you wish, it's your life.

Go for it. Have your tinder fling. Bring to her Miami. But don't come crying if you end up with an Elvira.


Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2697
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #29 on: July 18, 2018, 10:26:05 AM »
Gb, on my recent trip to Lviv I learnt that Tinder is not the sort of app I wish to use for dating. Not only is it expensive to search in other locations on it - you have to use their premium service. It is a bad app in general in that you are generally of on the hoof knowing little about the girl. Sure you can look them up but I think it better now to have a fair bit of messaging, video chat time, etc - get the girl to devout some real time to you; the more time she devouts the more likely she is straight up.

I've kind of learnt that while a fling with a model looking girl is all very well and good, it's no relationship. Model girls come with the negative that if they are too hot looking they tend to want a high price in return, that they tend to come with problems. A girl who is a 9 or 10 in the looks department is likely to be a problem more often than not. Fun to try out but don't look for a relationship. I would much rather have a girl in the 6-8 looks category of which there are many in the FSU and have a cracking full on genuine relationship. Going to bed with a girl you know is heavily into you can be more of a turn on that with a straight 10 model who gives you the impression she is not totally into you.

I'm not saying don't go down the path your on Gb but be cautious and not get carried away. I say this because I think people can tell you stuff on here over & over as they have done with me, bit until you get a bit of experience then you have little bearing to work from. Just take precautions, consider your own safety & security first. Don't send money or have her decide where you will be staying, keep all your money & travel documents safe at all times and have many back ups & research what to do if things go wrong abroad. Good luck!

Online jone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5930
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #30 on: July 18, 2018, 10:42:52 AM »
Ever dealt with registration issues, crooked cops, street scammers, jealous ex-boyfriends, pickpockets, riding in crowded marshrutkas, negotiating taxi fares in Russian (and getting ripped off), being hounded by taxi drivers at airports, having chai or pelmeni with the parents, navigating icy sidewalks, dealing with drunks and gopniks? Guess what - I have.

Damn!  This is a great commentary on possible incidents while in Russia.  It is truly original prose and I think that I've experienced almost all of them.  Well, maybe not the ex boyfriends.

While the post is solid information on what is ahead of the OP as he ventures to Russia for the first time, the magic of a wonderful relationship eludes the poster.   I think that the OP has been sufficiently warned that he is not in a relationship yet. 

But there is the dream of what such a relationship can become.  And I wholeheartedly support him in his quest.

For many of the older posters, here, I submit we may have lost some of the adventurism that we had when we were younger.  To the honorable rwd123, you might need to defer from your current quest and spend a little time with the Man of La Mancha.  For I remind all on this particular forum that we don't find love.  It finds us.

Experience keeps a dear school but fools will learn at no other - Benjamin Franklin

Online BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12010
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
    • Good Story
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #31 on: July 18, 2018, 11:50:24 AM »
Damn!  This is a great commentary on possible incidents while in Russia.  It is truly original prose and I think that I've experienced almost all of them.  Well, maybe not the ex boyfriends.


I've experienced all of them too except for ex boyfriends. Shit happens in the FSU a lot but if a guy finds a wonderful woman, it's all worth putting up with it.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2697
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #32 on: July 18, 2018, 01:30:21 PM »
I too think that is an excellent post by Rwd on all the pitfalls & stuff of FSU dating and I no doubt haven't been through half of all of that. The taxi issues will thankfully start to become a thing of the past now that Uber, Uklon, etc are operating through a lot of the FSU. I greet with great joy the ability to say "F you' to all those irritating taxi touts on arrival at the arrivals lounge and bypass all the taxi BS of the past as I catch my cab on the same fare as any local person :D I remember a couple of years back Boethius saying that I would never get the cheap fares locals get and that was so true then, but not now! ;D No longer will I be plagued by all the taxi idiocy.

The rest of what Rwd says is all good reading too, I'm learning as I go that learning a bit about the culture pays dividends as does getting to grips with other aspects of FSU and dating. Knowing your way about it and a big of experience behind you can make the difference, you get better at sporting the bad ones and what to avoid and what to do.

I think the main thing is Gb is that a newbie can be pretty vulnerable to start with on this venture. There are not all bad people in the FSU, most are pretty decent enough, but there are quite a few that will look to take advantage of a guy who comes across as unaware. A lot of the time this will be trying to dupe the guy, low level scams, overcharging, trying to get the few extra ghrvina or rouble. If your unlucky though some FSU people will no doubt try to do you over big time. I've not been in any of those situations so far, I've had a few mishaps but nothing real bad. It's the real bad stuff I hope to avoid by learning from mishaps and working on it all when I'm abroad. This is something I think you need to look at Gb, read all the threads about travelling abroad here, the problems that can occur and safety precautions to take before travelling. Learn also here what type of warning signs to look out for with girls. Its a constant learning process I find but one that's worth doing.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2018, 01:32:29 PM by Trenchcoat »

Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2697
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #33 on: July 18, 2018, 01:34:48 PM »
As a side note those annoying taxi touts must be spewing over all the tourists they can no longer rip off who are using Uber or Uklon, or they soon will be :clapping:

Online rwd123

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 80
  • Country: ua
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #34 on: July 18, 2018, 03:10:48 PM »
I've experienced all of them too except for ex boyfriends. Shit happens in the FSU a lot but if a guy finds a wonderful woman, it's all worth putting up with it.
Agreed.

I'm just waiting for an Uber equivalent to get rid of corrupt cops!

Offline Gb1015

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 35
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #35 on: July 18, 2018, 05:11:38 PM »
Thanks for all the feedback.

For all those who have sent warning signs they have not fallen on deaf ears. No I have not and will not send her any money. Nor will I speak with her if she asks me to support her in any way financially until things are more serious and I know her better. Some of you guys are thinking that if your opinion is not what I want to hear that I am ignoring it. That is just plain false. What I am saying is, at this point the girl has done nothing to show that she is any of what you guys are saying she is besides being attractive and young. Yes we met on Tinder, yes there is a language barrier, yes there are complications. I get it. It's risky. I appreciate the concern. If I end up getting played, whats the worse that can happen. I'm 27 no kids, a lawyer, I make pretty good money for my age, in shape not a bad looking guy. I'm not quitting my career. I'm not getting a tattooed sleeve. I'm going to meet an attractive girl who for whatever reason sticks out to me amongst the other for many reasons I don't feel obligated to list. Also, it is a "Fiancť Visa" not a "Wife Visa" which allows me 3 months to live with this girl after approximately a 9 month long-distance relationship. Yeah if it works i'll visit during the 9 months but you guys are acting like marriage wouldn't mandatorily be a year away.  I mean seriously, I believe you guys are catastrophizing the situation a little bit.  Yes we video chat and speak for hours daily. Yes beautiful women tend to come at a price. I get it. I think you guys have to remember I live in Miami. I'm not a stranger to beautiful women.

Thanks again

Offline Gb1015

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 35
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #36 on: July 18, 2018, 05:34:00 PM »
Like I said, you don't know the difference between an idiot and a fool.

You may read but you won't learn, because you are blinkered to what you want to hear. This is not about me. If you don't think I have credibility then ignore my posts. But why would I care to bullshit on this forum (or its predecessor RWG)? I've got plenty of experience from my times in the FSU over the last 15 years - have you been even once? I have lived there. I'll be back there in a fortnight too.

Ever dealt with registration issues, crooked cops, street scammers, jealous ex-boyfriends, pickpockets, riding in crowded marshrutkas, negotiating taxi fares in Russian (and getting ripped off), being hounded by taxi drivers at airports, having chai or pelmeni with the parents, navigating icy sidewalks, dealing with drunks and gopniks? Guess what - I have.

And that's not even getting to the mine field of dating. Ever dated a girl who doesn't speak English, and have her friend tag along as interpreter? Do you know how frustrating that can be? It can be utterly excruciating. And how much Russian do you speak? Know how to spot a gold digger looking for a sponsor or padarki? They will lead you by the pecker and bleed you of dengi. And models don't necessarily make the best dates or best wives, they can have massive psychological insecurities and be awfully spoilt (particularly in Moscow). There's a reason Russian rockets are called Katyushas. Small tip - don't date an alcoholic. Yes, there are female ones too.

Ever been in a communal banya? Or to a dacha, or know what an ogorod is? Been to a village in the middle of nowhere? (Krimster will show you a few, haha) Travelled plaatskart before? Know the difference between olivier and vinegrette salads? (or mors and compot, haha) Did you send flowers to your girl AND her mother on the eighth of March? Know the difference between Ded Moroz and Baba Yaga? Been invited to hunt wolves? Know the difference between Yuri Nikulin and Yuri Gagarin? (she may not but her mother will) Know who Max Otto von Stirlitz is? (the guy who inspired Putin to join the KGB) How much have you learned about Russian culture? If you're lucky you might get introduced to popugai kesha or bremenskiye muzikanti... but that's unlikely for a few years (if at all). Nailed the alphabet yet? She won't be into Shah or Korrozia Metalla, but at a stretch may like some Aria.

I have no reason to bullshit. I'm the real McCoy.

There is no special formula to relationships, but if you've been around long enough, you can recognise the warning signs. You have shown plenty. Feel free to ignore them if you wish, it's your life.

Go for it. Have your tinder fling. Bring to her Miami. But don't come crying if you end up with an Elvira.

Jeez you got me with "navigating the icy sidewalks and dealing with drunks". I'm not going anymore.

 :shock:

Dude, seriously. Get over yourself. You've been to Russia a bunch of times and have had an account on a forum for a while. Just because someone doesn't run through a list of their experience like you do does not mean they do not have experience. And by the way for all the shit you talk about it, it's really surprising that you continue to go visit this anarchic society filled with gold diggers and scam artists. I'm surprised any foreigner has made it out alive.

You make no sense. Read my other posts. No one is jumping to the alter here. But your posts are absolutely ridiculous and filled with hypocrisy.

Offline BdHvA

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 560
  • Country: nl
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #37 on: July 18, 2018, 08:37:54 PM »
First welcome to RWD. You can read some some joyous as well as amazing stories and some quite sad tales full of caution and woe. You can ask questions and there will be multiple answers, you need to figure out what is best for your situation. There is no one way to do this correctly but multiple ways to screw it up.

Hello everyone,

I write on this forum not because I have any suspicions that this woman is hustling me but more because of the stigma associated with falling for a woman online who lives in Russia. There is a lot of negative rhetoric regarding same.

After getting to know this woman, I realized that she is very normal, sweet and kind. For instance, a typical Friday night for her consists of dinner with her mother. She is in University to be a Doctor. We share many of the same views on life and what is important in the world. We have similar backgrounds, her father was absent in her life. My mother was absent in mine. We both are born from young parents so our relationship's with our single parent is more of a friendship. In some ways this has made us both seek loyalty in a relationship more than anything else. Needless to say, we really hit it off. She is 20 and I am 27. I am a lawyer who works as a legislative analyst in Miami.

After only 3 months of talking, I am going to visit Moscow in a month to met her and her mother. We have already spoken about getting married which was really my idea. The biggest issue for us right now is the transferring of credits from her current university to a university in Florida. She does not want to stop school. Which I completely understand and want to support.

I guess, I am writing to those with experience on whether anyone has ever done something similar to this. Really any comments or thoughts are welcomed.

I do not consider myself to know everything so I always seek help and input.

Meeting via Tinder seems both efficient and entirely possible. I commend you!

Speaking of marriage before you have met this woman seems premature at best.


Spend some time with her mother.  If they are as close as you say they are, you will learn alot about the woman she will become as she ages. 

Sounds like you are a lucky man.

Perhaps you are lucky, but it is very important to spend time with the mother and gather a sense of her and the nature of the relation between her daughter and mother. It will mirror her relationship to you in some degree.

You're an attorney right? Get yourself a good family law attorney that understand prenups well. You might as well use your prenup as toilet paper since that is what it'll be worth. English is not your girls primary language. You will have to hire a translator and two attorneys, one for you and one for her. Also having her sign a prenup while she has 90 days to get married can be considered by a judge as if she's signing under duress. Also if your prenup strays too far off the guidelines of your state in the event of a divorce, it can be thrown out. For example, in a 20 year marriage both parties usually split things roughly 50/50. If you give her 5% in a 20 year marriage, a judge may not approve.

Most people think a prenup is to protect them from a spouse who's vindictive and a gold digger in the event of a divorce. I feel a prenup should be used to protect people from a judge who can be bias and give one party 70% in a 20 year marriage for example. Follow the state guidelines when writing your prenup. It's fair for you and fair for her. Judges have a lot of discretion when ruling in family court but it's hard for them to throw out an agreement that is following state guidelines.

If you divorce early, you may be paying a higher amount of alimony since your girl will not be very employable. It's rarely enforced but when you get married to this girl, you are supposed to support her for 10 years when you sign that affidavit of support so she doesn't go on social programs where WE have to take care of her. If she goes crazy on you, come back here for some good advice on how to protect yourself from a DV charge.

Stay positive and don't let what I said affect how you feel for the girl. If she's a wonderful girl, go into this believing it'll last a lifetime. Unless you're making tons of money and have a lot of assets, I don't see why you need a prenup being as young as you are.

Prenups in both CT and CA are generally valueless today, I suspect the same is true in Florida. In your case a student who does not speak fluent English and understand American legal concepts she will be in a strong position to have the prenup tossed in the event of a messy divorce.

BillyB makes a very good point in his last paragraph. The English expression is in for a penny, in for a pound. The most important thing is spend time with this woman and get to know her before committing to having a partner.

NB: There are a few other comments that are worth noting but I am tired so will come back latter.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2018, 09:03:50 PM by BdHvA »
Experierence is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. A. Huxley

Online msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4264
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #38 on: July 18, 2018, 09:31:27 PM »
Interesting thread

My experience of Tinder is second hand and based on Moscow and it's usage by a Western guy

The site seems to be used by wackos who have no idea what a relationship is and have decided they'll have sex and work out other stuff after

I'm an 'ol git - so excuse me



The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2697
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #39 on: July 18, 2018, 10:02:46 PM »
Gb I think what people are getting at here is sometimes you can see the road way ahead for those who have had a lot of experience at this game out there. So if you outline a girl to them as you have done then they will have a pretty good idea from the get go of the scope of it all and which way things are likely to swing. Like said though without having an experience for yourself there's little place to work from, it really a case of remain on guard at all times and evaluate the girl and try to avoid being blinded by her beauty which of course can be difficult.

I think what Rwd is trying to get at is not having to deal with one particular thing or know this or that aspect of FSU culture but rather the whole scope of the FSU deal. It's not all that bad news for most unless you get real unlucky/do some stupid action. In Ukraine most cops seem decent & straight up since they reformed the whole lot a few years ago. Taxi's as said are now becoming less of a problem if you use the apps and to be honest even before the were not necessarily the be all and end all if you got screwed over, just a case of pick yourself up and move on a few quid out of pocket, lost luggage or mobile or wring location whatever it may be. I think the main point though is not any particular one issue but that it's not always a straight forward affair as it may seem. While FSU society may look fine on the surface there can be a whole load of sh*t happening beneath it's murky waters. A rich Lawyer like yourself unaccustomed to all the deal of what the FSU scene is and little experience of will be seen as easy bait and a prime target for the unscrupulous out there if which there are a fair few, not all but a fair few.

For example read the stories of the guy from the UK who was given a drink by a taxi driver stupidly took it, thinking he was being friendly, was drugged by it, stripped of his belongings then dumped out in  the wilderness in snowy winter and froze to death.

Then there is the rich millionaire guy also from the UK who upon marrying his woman had it arranged for him to be ran over on the sidewalk to claim his estate. He was ran over, he died and she made an attempt to claim his estate but because of his family involvement she and no doubt the short time they were married she was stopped from claiming his vast fortune - A lot of FSW just don't care about the guy but can come across as sweet and affectionate as pie all in the cause of trying to get what they want.

Other stories are also abound of guys being knocked off hike taken a shower by their FSW or being ripped off their belongings while in the shower - imagine finding yourself suddenly without passport or money while abroad, not a good place to be in, especially if there is no embassy in town, just a trip down the Police station is all that can be done in that scenario I guess to hopefully be repatriated down the line.

Even those with good news stories the value a woman puts on you can do with what she sees ad your worth to her. She might decide as a rich young Lawyer you are worth being with as a permanent fixture or she may decide something else is more expedient, if there is a lot of money floating around beware they can be pretty ruthless.

It can all of course come good but it's really a case of reading any signs and being on the lookout and trying to safeguard yourself as much as possible I think.

Online msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4264
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #40 on: July 19, 2018, 01:48:42 AM »
Trench

Such stories may be true, but let's get reality into perspective... How many stories have you read of football fans being ripped off in Russia, at the world cup ... VERY few - I'll wager ...

« Last Edit: July 19, 2018, 06:37:07 AM by msmob »
The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Online John Gaunt

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 183
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #41 on: July 19, 2018, 05:35:50 AM »
Gb I think what people are getting at here is sometimes you can see the road way ahead for those who have had a lot of experience at this game out there. So if you outline a girl to them as you have done then they will have a pretty good idea from the get go of the scope of it all and which way things are likely to swing. Like said though without having an experience for yourself there's little place to work from, it really a case of remain on guard at all times and evaluate the girl and try to avoid being blinded by her beauty which of course can be difficult.

I think what Rwd is trying to get at is not having to deal with one particular thing or know this or that aspect of FSU culture but rather the whole scope of the FSU deal. It's not all that bad news for most unless you get real unlucky/do some stupid action. In Ukraine most cops seem decent & straight up since they reformed the whole lot a few years ago. Taxi's as said are now becoming less of a problem if you use the apps and to be honest even before the were not necessarily the be all and end all if you got screwed over, just a case of pick yourself up and move on a few quid out of pocket, lost luggage or mobile or wring location whatever it may be. I think the main point though is not any particular one issue but that it's not always a straight forward affair as it may seem. While FSU society may look fine on the surface there can be a whole load of sh*t happening beneath it's murky waters. A rich Lawyer like yourself unaccustomed to all the deal of what the FSU scene is and little experience of will be seen as easy bait and a prime target for the unscrupulous out there if which there are a fair few, not all but a fair few.

For example read the stories of the guy from the UK who was given a drink by a taxi driver stupidly took it, thinking he was being friendly, was drugged by it, stripped of his belongings then dumped out in  the wilderness in snowy winter and froze to death.

Then there is the rich millionaire guy also from the UK who upon marrying his woman had it arranged for him to be ran over on the sidewalk to claim his estate. He was ran over, he died and she made an attempt to claim his estate but because of his family involvement she and no doubt the short time they were married she was stopped from claiming his vast fortune - A lot of FSW just don't care about the guy but can come across as sweet and affectionate as pie all in the cause of trying to get what they want.

Other stories are also abound of guys being knocked off hike taken a shower by their FSW or being ripped off their belongings while in the shower - imagine finding yourself suddenly without passport or money while abroad, not a good place to be in, especially if there is no embassy in town, just a trip down the Police station is all that can be done in that scenario I guess to hopefully be repatriated down the line.

Even those with good news stories the value a woman puts on you can do with what she sees ad your worth to her. She might decide as a rich young Lawyer you are worth being with as a permanent fixture or she may decide something else is more expedient, if there is a lot of money floating around beware they can be pretty ruthless.

It can all of course come good but it's really a case of reading any signs and being on the lookout and trying to safeguard yourself as much as possible I think.
A couple of bad luck stories and you condemn an entire society? The incidents you have described are hardly unique to the FSU. Why, they could be happening in deepest Berkshire.
No, Trench, your paranoia is getting the better of you again. Better get back on the meds, matey.
To all those newbies who read Trenchís advice....be warned. The guy is a fool and not someone you should emulate or take seriously.

Online rwd123

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 80
  • Country: ua
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #42 on: July 19, 2018, 06:47:05 AM »
Dude, get over yourself. Your ego is nauseating. You're not some bastion of righteousness, you're a n00b. I was around during RWG days. Not that you know what that is. Do you know who Elvira is? Hard to forget THAT story. Or BillyB's endless pursuits, and the girl in Tashkent that didn't work out. The only other guy I remember is Stirlitz, because I rented an apartment through him.

But this thread is not about me. It's about you.

You seem to have zero knowledge or interest in Russian culture. You even disparage the society.

Given you're a lawyer I'll deal with the facts.

- You are 27 years old.
- You have never been to Russia or FSU countries.
- You do not speak or understand Russian.
- You contacted a girl via Tinder in Moscow.
- She is 20 years old.
- She does not speak English.
- Communication started three months ago.
- You have never met her.

On marriage you stated:
- "We have already spoken about getting married which was really my idea"
But also:
- "I typically would never marry a women so quickly at all"
- "if I get any weird vibes i'm backing off"
- "I am not in love"
- "I like what I see is all"
- "And at a minimum, I will get my tinder lay in a month"

So here a persuasive argument I'll put forward.

- You're a Miami-based lawyer with a Miami lawyer ego.
- You want a trophy wife, a Russian one.
- You can't get a girl locally so got curious on Tinder.
- Tinder is not a hotbed of future wives, particularly 20 year olds.
- You saw a hot chick from Moscow.
- You're desperate so you chased her on instagram.
- You've painted an exotic picture of life in Miami, and she likes the promised lifestyle.
- Neither of you have experience in a long-term/serious relationship.
- Neither of you are ready for marriage.
- You're happy to screw her and ditch her.
- You have no understanding or experience of Russian culture/psyche, or of Russian women.
- She could easily play you a fiddle and you wouldn't even know it.
- You have scant interest in Russian culture or society, and will only gain interest through necessity.
- You haven't been laid in ages and it is impairing your judgment.
- Any negativity in response to your fantastic visions is met by your bias, "in my opinion, one of the biggest forms of immaturity is negativity and a lack of introspection"

You stated, "any comments or thoughts are welcomed". Really?

I've been the horny 20-something guy chasing skirt in the FSU (when you were still in elementary school), and I caught enough skirt to learn a thing or two, though nothing like Krimster! Admittedly I didn't use dating apps or marriage agencies. I didn't have to. But there are serious warning signs in what you have written.

You are blinded from criticism by your desires. Check your ego at the door and try to objectively read what I and others have written. You're not ready for marriage and this virtual relationship you have going could easily go pear shaped.

Triggered? Calm down, count to ten slowly, and read objectively.

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8449
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #43 on: July 19, 2018, 08:51:42 AM »
Im curious though. In terms of escape route, what do you mean?

I can't speak for Steamer however I would recommend a backup plan.
Don't schedule your first meeting on a cruise ship where you are stuck
together whether things work out or not.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline Steamer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 665
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #44 on: July 19, 2018, 09:15:05 AM »
I can't speak for Steamer however I would recommend a backup plan.
Don't schedule your first meeting on a cruise ship where you are stuck
together whether things work out or not.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0


This is what I was getting at. Sometimes, even after letters and skype, it just doesn't work and you must cut bait but I've seen many guys who will not let go of the fantasy and insist on "making" it work. That's why I suggested to dampen the enthusiasm so he can keep a clear head. Getting stuck can be a mental constraint.
Life ain't nothing but a poker game
And no two hands are quite the same
But I never saw a winner that didn't bet

Online jone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5930
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #45 on: July 19, 2018, 11:11:46 AM »
Dude, get over yourself. Your ego is nauseating. You're not some bastion of righteousness, you're a n00b. I was around during RWG days. Not that you know what that is. Do you know who Elvira is? Hard to forget THAT story. Or BillyB's endless pursuits, and the girl in Tashkent that didn't work out. The only other guy I remember is Stirlitz, because I rented an apartment through him.

But this thread is not about me. It's about you.

You seem to have zero knowledge or interest in Russian culture. You even disparage the society.

Given you're a lawyer I'll deal with the facts.

- You are 27 years old.
- You have never been to Russia or FSU countries.
- You do not speak or understand Russian.
- You contacted a girl via Tinder in Moscow.
- She is 20 years old.
- She does not speak English.
- Communication started three months ago.
- You have never met her.

On marriage you stated:
- "We have already spoken about getting married which was really my idea"
But also:
- "I typically would never marry a women so quickly at all"
- "if I get any weird vibes i'm backing off"
- "I am not in love"
- "I like what I see is all"
- "And at a minimum, I will get my tinder lay in a month"

So here a persuasive argument I'll put forward.

- You're a Miami-based lawyer with a Miami lawyer ego.
- You want a trophy wife, a Russian one.
- You can't get a girl locally so got curious on Tinder.
- Tinder is not a hotbed of future wives, particularly 20 year olds.
- You saw a hot chick from Moscow.
- You're desperate so you chased her on instagram.
- You've painted an exotic picture of life in Miami, and she likes the promised lifestyle.
- Neither of you have experience in a long-term/serious relationship.
- Neither of you are ready for marriage.
- You're happy to screw her and ditch her.
- You have no understanding or experience of Russian culture/psyche, or of Russian women.
- She could easily play you a fiddle and you wouldn't even know it.
- You have scant interest in Russian culture or society, and will only gain interest through necessity.
- You haven't been laid in ages and it is impairing your judgment.
- Any negativity in response to your fantastic visions is met by your bias, "in my opinion, one of the biggest forms of immaturity is negativity and a lack of introspection"

You stated, "any comments or thoughts are welcomed". Really?

I've been the horny 20-something guy chasing skirt in the FSU (when you were still in elementary school), and I caught enough skirt to learn a thing or two, though nothing like Krimster! Admittedly I didn't use dating apps or marriage agencies. I didn't have to. But there are serious warning signs in what you have written.

You are blinded from criticism by your desires. Check your ego at the door and try to objectively read what I and others have written. You're not ready for marriage and this virtual relationship you have going could easily go pear shaped.

Triggered? Calm down, count to ten slowly, and read objectively.

Kinda hard to read objectively when you're calling him out on everything he's written.  Yes, we all know that you've been through the ringer.  But the reality is that with some good coaching, and some appropriate words, this guy will fall ill to the same affliction that has taunted us all.

Experience keeps a dear school but fools will learn at no other - Benjamin Franklin

Offline Gb1015

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 35
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #46 on: July 19, 2018, 11:18:54 AM »
Dude, get over yourself. Your ego is nauseating. You're not some bastion of righteousness, you're a n00b. I was around during RWG days. Not that you know what that is. Do you know who Elvira is? Hard to forget THAT story. Or BillyB's endless pursuits, and the girl in Tashkent that didn't work out. The only other guy I remember is Stirlitz, because I rented an apartment through him.

But this thread is not about me. It's about you.

You seem to have zero knowledge or interest in Russian culture. You even disparage the society.

Given you're a lawyer I'll deal with the facts.

- You are 27 years old.
- You have never been to Russia or FSU countries.
- You do not speak or understand Russian.
- You contacted a girl via Tinder in Moscow.
- She is 20 years old.
- She does not speak English.
- Communication started three months ago.
- You have never met her.

On marriage you stated:
- "We have already spoken about getting married which was really my idea"
But also:
- "I typically would never marry a women so quickly at all"
- "if I get any weird vibes i'm backing off"
- "I am not in love"
- "I like what I see is all"
- "And at a minimum, I will get my tinder lay in a month"

So here a persuasive argument I'll put forward.

- You're a Miami-based lawyer with a Miami lawyer ego.
- You want a trophy wife, a Russian one.
- You can't get a girl locally so got curious on Tinder.
- Tinder is not a hotbed of future wives, particularly 20 year olds.
- You saw a hot chick from Moscow.
- You're desperate so you chased her on instagram.
- You've painted an exotic picture of life in Miami, and she likes the promised lifestyle.
- Neither of you have experience in a long-term/serious relationship.
- Neither of you are ready for marriage.
- You're happy to screw her and ditch her.
- You have no understanding or experience of Russian culture/psyche, or of Russian women.
- She could easily play you a fiddle and you wouldn't even know it.
- You have scant interest in Russian culture or society, and will only gain interest through necessity.
- You haven't been laid in ages and it is impairing your judgment.
- Any negativity in response to your fantastic visions is met by your bias, "in my opinion, one of the biggest forms of immaturity is negativity and a lack of introspection"

You stated, "any comments or thoughts are welcomed". Really?

I've been the horny 20-something guy chasing skirt in the FSU (when you were still in elementary school), and I caught enough skirt to learn a thing or two, though nothing like Krimster! Admittedly I didn't use dating apps or marriage agencies. I didn't have to. But there are serious warning signs in what you have written.

You are blinded from criticism by your desires. Check your ego at the door and try to objectively read what I and others have written. You're not ready for marriage and this virtual relationship you have going could easily go pear shaped.

Triggered? Calm down, count to ten slowly, and read objectively.


You win man. I think everyone has noticed the wealth of knowledge you have. Take a look at the responses. Everyone agrees with you.  :popcorn:

« Last Edit: July 19, 2018, 11:47:22 AM by AnonMod »

Offline Gb1015

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 35
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #47 on: July 19, 2018, 11:24:34 AM »
To everyone else. I appreciate all the time. Your comments have been very insightful and I am definitely considering all scenarios mentioned.

Online BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12010
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
    • Good Story
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #48 on: July 19, 2018, 11:30:17 AM »
 At your age if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world.  I've dated more FSU  Women than anybody since the 90s and I had a blast  as a single man. Just make sure if you marry one that she's a high-quality woman. Although people on tinder have a reputation for not looking for a serious relationship it is possible people can change.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Offline Gb1015

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 35
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Tinder - Am I crazy?
« Reply #49 on: July 19, 2018, 12:09:43 PM »
At your age if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world.  I've dated more FSU  Women than anybody since the 90s and I had a blast  as a single man. Just make sure if you marry one that she's a high-quality woman. Although people on tinder have a reputation for not looking for a serious relationship it is possible people can change.

Thanks.

My biggest issue with that guys feedback is. He acts like an expert on everything. He wants to ďsonĒ me with all his experience with Russian women and the culture and the years he has over me.

Reality is, Tinder is used for a lot of things. I know people who are successfully married after meeting on tinder. Itís a social dating app. Now Iím not gonna sit here and say I am an expert on anything. Especially a foreign country I did not grow up in. No matter how many times I have visited.

This guys an expert in everything.

Heís an expert on tinder

Heís an expert on russia

Heís an expert on Russian models

Heís an expert on lawyers.

Heís an expert on lawyers who are 27 who live in miami

Heís an expert on all 20 year olds who are on tinder.

Heís a relationship guru.

Heís an expert on icy side walks.

Heís an expert on marriage.


A girl being on tinder Fromm Russia who is attractive.
Who does not speak much English.

Is hardly enough information for someone to completely condemn them. I think this guy has been played a lot. And because heís been played. He is an expert. And the reality is, I already had another member inbox me and tell me how he met his wife of 25 years when he was 29 and she was 22. She went to medical school and became a doctor and they have kids together. He was very supportive.

Iím not saying this is going to be my situation. What Iím saying is this guy thinks because all these things have happened to him. They are going to happen to everyone. He may think that. But itís simply not reality. He is the typical guy that tells everyone what they can and cannot do  without having accomplished Anything other than travel and be on a forum and get repeatedly scammed.

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 9819
Latest: Newuser
New This Month: 6
New This Week: 2
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 482181
Total Topics: 18932
Most Online Today: 1349
Most Online Ever: 2127
(March 20, 2014, 11:07:42 PM)
Users Online
Members: 29
Guests: 1292
Total: 1321

+-Recent Posts

Re: Three weeks in Kiev by DaveNY
Today at 06:59:26 PM

Three weeks in Kiev by bluesky56
Today at 06:42:07 PM

Re: Children making the transition to the New World ...... by DaveNY
Today at 06:21:54 PM

Children making the transition to the New World ...... by jone
Today at 05:34:32 PM

Re: 18th by GQBlues
Today at 05:31:13 PM

18th by tfcrew
Today at 04:59:08 PM

Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages by tfcrew
Today at 04:36:35 PM

Re: Good looks by DaveNY
Today at 02:46:21 PM

Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages by GQBlues
Today at 02:14:01 PM

Re: Good looks by ML
Today at 12:36:53 PM

Powered by EzPortal

create account