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Author Topic: Flowers on first date or not?  (Read 1969 times)

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Offline Surfer

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Flowers on first date or not?
« on: July 19, 2018, 11:45:05 PM »
Hi All,

I am not sure if this question was already asked on the forum earlier or not. Let's say you are meeting a woman through EM, you had a couple of Skype conversations and decided to meet her in real life. Would you give her flowers the first time you meet in real life?

From FSU women perspective, what are the norms? I know that they love flowers but would they be expecting you to present them flowers on first date itself? How about a box of chocolates instead? :)

Online msmob

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2018, 12:05:45 AM »
Hi Surfer

IF this lady is your only intended meet - a visit one trip - why not ?

This is another reason why VM makes guys look cheap and you'd have to have several bouquets ordered to keep up ;)

Online BillyB

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2018, 12:06:40 AM »
I know that they love flowers but would they be expecting you to present them flowers on first date itself? How about a box of chocolates instead? :)

How about both flowers and chocolate? How about even more. I brought my wife chocolate, perfume, and a book of the photo book of scenery of State I live in which gave her a glimpse of her future home. She said the book was her favorite. She met me at the airport so I didn't have flowers in hand but I bought her some later. Make sure you don't buy yellow flowers and buy an odd number of them. A dozen roses which is normally what is bought for American women is a no no over there.

Put some thought into the gifts you want to buy. If the woman is going to marry you someday, it's nice if you give her memories of your first meeting she'll remember forever.

Offline JayH

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2018, 12:48:43 AM »
Hi All,

I am not sure if this question was already asked on the forum earlier or not. Let's say you are meeting a woman through EM, you had a couple of Skype conversations and decided to meet her in real life. Would you give her flowers the first time you meet in real life?

From FSU women perspective, what are the norms? I know that they love flowers but would they be expecting you to present them flowers on first date itself? How about a box of chocolates instead? :)

Surfer -- this is actually trickier than is obvious.
The state of your relationship now is important . First thought  -- flowers are like putting a billboard over her head telling everyone that this meeting is romantic. Being that obvious may not be something she wants advertised .
Reference forum comments on being discrete in her frontyard !

Second -- they are a pia on a date eg what do you do with them etc etc

Third -- I would consider either sending them immediately prior ( say the day before) to arrival    or   -- maybe buying while on date ie after meal or whatever . I like that idea most as she can choose flowers and colours she likes AND -- whether the timing is appropriate.

If you have to fly blind --try and figure out her preferences . If you buy roses -- it needs to be an uneven number 11,13 .21 etc .
Do not go overboard at this stage on flowers ( you will learn later where to get best flowers at a fair price ( roses vary from UAH 20 to UAH 60 each). If you have no input info -- buy red !

There is nothing wrong with taking one red rose to a first meeting. Basically--it signifies a friendship flower -- and would not cause any potential embarrassment.

Make sure you report back here on whatever you do and what happens with response -- it is an interesting question ! ;D

« Last Edit: July 20, 2018, 12:50:21 AM by JayH »
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Steamer

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2018, 08:23:21 AM »
Surfer,
You'll never go wrong with flowers, chocolate and the like. "Most" RW are forgiving if you get the wrong color or the wrong number. They understand that you don't know all the details of gift giving in Russia. Just do not show up empty handed.


Something (small) for mom and dad is also good.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2018, 08:45:12 AM by Steamer »
Life ain't nothing but a poker game
And no two hands are quite the same
But I never saw a winner that didn't bet

Offline Venlunie

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2018, 10:17:14 PM »
I am very pleased to be a member here. In order for me to access the data fully.

Online MarinaSirena

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2018, 04:09:49 AM »
?

From FSU women perspective, what are the norms?

You know.... to gift flowers is not about *should* or *norm*. Its about first impression. If the man is very attractive and interesting For russion woman she will not blame on him for not buying the flowers on first date. Buuuut... If the man gifts me it on our first date...? What do i think? 1)he spent his time for choosing the flowers,2) he wanted to find the way to make me smile, to give me a little pleasure 3)He understands the beauty))) So... Its not a catastrophe if there is no any flowers on the date. But its not about big deal! You have not to be a hero!its just flowers..But it matters.Because of every woman really appriciate attantion and tenderness for her )

Offline JayH

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2018, 04:24:34 AM »
You know.... .Because of every woman really appriciate attantion and tenderness for her )

 :welcome:  ;D
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Online BillyB

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2018, 09:29:01 AM »
You know.... to gift flowers is not about *should* or *norm*. Its about first impression. If the man is very attractive and interesting For russion woman she will not blame on him for not buying the flowers on first date. Buuuut... If the man gifts me it on our first date...? What do i think? 1)he spent his time for choosing the flowers,2) he wanted to find the way to make me smile, to give me a little pleasure 3)He understands the beauty))) So... Its not a catastrophe if there is no any flowers on the date. But its not about big deal! You have not to be a hero!its just flowers..But it matters.Because of every woman really appriciate attantion and tenderness for her )

Welcome to the forum Marina. Thanks for sharing a woman's point of view. Everything you said make sense.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2018, 05:15:06 PM »
You know.... to gift flowers is not about *should* or *norm*. Its about first impression. If the man is very attractive and interesting For russion woman she will not blame on him for not buying the flowers on first date. Buuuut... If the man gifts me it on our first date...? What do i think? 1)he spent his time for choosing the flowers,2) he wanted to find the way to make me smile, to give me a little pleasure 3)He understands the beauty))) So... Its not a catastrophe if there is no any flowers on the date. But its not about big deal! You have not to be a hero!its just flowers..But it matters.Because of every woman really appriciate attantion and tenderness for her )

Absolutely, Surfer don't swear it, but a cheap bunch of Roses from Tesco's for a fiver the day before your due to fly out. Stuff 'em in your suitcase at the airport. On a short 3hr journey or so they'll keep fine. Just pull one out if there's an even number & present to the lady :)

Thing to remember is you may be repeating this process over a lot in the future. If one woman doesn't work out its onto the next in the near future. I made the same error of getting all worked up about it with the first few girls. Truth is there is either chemistry there or there is not, flowers won't change anything, it more of an expected polite/warm gesture and I think easier to follow along with, without going overboard than be out of sorts.

Online krimster2

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2018, 05:56:43 PM »
you should give makeup kits. no scratch that...
flowers are absolutely nice but conventional
and will not last long, hopefully not symbolic of your relationship
I would bring something small from your country, and not too expensive
some gifts are dependent on a woman's particular taste, like perfume, etc
others are generic
I used to give these little "tea samplers" of different flavors of tea
unavailable in Russia or Ukraine these were a big hit
if she's a coffee drinker and not Chai, get some authentic Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee
and tell her this is absolutely the best in the world (which it really is), just like her
be sure to catch her when she "swoons"
cashmere sweater in her favorite color were also good
and can be folded into a small package
and when she puts in on, say "oichen cressiva" and I'm not talking about the sweater
and take her out some where nice
picture books of your home area are also good
hopefully some ideas
give a present particular to the woman and her likes
shows you thought about it some
will make a bigger impact than a generic present


вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

вот как я могу создать американскую личность
Я могу взять напрокат

Offline BdHvA

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2018, 06:11:22 PM »
Some of this depends on what style you are meeting; a casual cup of coffee and say hello and wave goodbye, flowers are over the top. If the conversation prior to meeting is serious yes perhaps flowers are a good idea.

But I would propose a variation not a bunch of flowers that quickly fade after the meeting, but an orchid. I would pick a white or yellow colour. It will give the love birds something to talk about and one can see if said lovey dove can at least keep a plant alive.
Experierence is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. A. Huxley

Offline Jumper

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #12 on: August 30, 2018, 06:21:20 PM »
Av, but what if she can't?

Lol I'm convinced my wife can kill a house plant of any variety, faster than TC can hide his wallet when the check for dinner comes!

:)
.

Offline BdHvA

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #13 on: August 30, 2018, 07:11:05 PM »
Av, but what if she can't?

Lol I'm convinced my wife can kill a house plant of any variety, faster than TC can hide his wallet when the check for dinner comes!

:)
:ROFL:

Move to an apartment? Will sleep laughing to this reply. Thanks
Experierence is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. A. Huxley

Online msmob

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #14 on: August 30, 2018, 11:40:53 PM »
SC met me at the airport ...the first time we met for real..kinda hard to have flowers ..

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #15 on: August 31, 2018, 11:11:18 AM »
SC met me at the airport ...the first time we met for real..kinda hard to have flowers ..

SC???

Second Cousin? ;D

Offline eich

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #16 on: September 11, 2018, 04:57:00 AM »
... or simply ask them if there is something that they would like for you to bring them; something that they cannot find for themselves (in their city). This has been the case with me many times and they were delighted.  Not a solid rule of course but something to consider in your particular circumstance.
Life is just an empty room.

Online msmob

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #17 on: September 11, 2018, 05:17:59 AM »
... or simply ask them if there is something that they would like for you to bring them; something that they cannot find for themselves (in their city). This has been the case with me many times and they were delighted.  Not a solid rule of course but something to consider in your particular circumstance.

...and if they ask you for a 500 dollar bottle of perfume or  romantic holiday ?;)

Offline eich

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #18 on: September 19, 2018, 11:43:44 PM »
 No, :D I should have been more clear. I was referring mostly to edibles such as exotic coffees (to them), peanut butter, genuine maple syrup and many other similar things. Also items such as calendars of various states in the US were requested. In my experience gifts such as these were much more appreciated than those of a romantic nature. Romance and flowers comes a bit later after your first date when and if there is chemistry between you. I have been very fortunate in my travels as I have never been asked for expensive gifts before or after my arrival. Once again I do not claim this to be fool proof but merely a suggestion from my experiences. Of course depending on circumstance and those involved.
Life is just an empty room.

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: Flowers on first date or not?
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2018, 02:18:36 PM »
Items from your home region are especially good for when you meet her family. A scenic book of your state, postcards, state emblems on t-shirts if you know the size, etc.


If she has children you absolutely should bring something simple for them: kids are fascinated with Western candy that they either don't have, or is priced out of their ability. A kendama, portable chess set (very popular), small toy car, etc, are usually big hits.


Always flowers in my opinion. If you know her address, make a big impression by arranging a flower delivery 5 days before you arrive, again 3 days before you arrive, and a bigger arrangement the day before you arrive.


Of course you're always paying way to much for delivered flowers and you will be sick when you see how inexpensive flowers are locally. But, don't be cheap--make the needed impression.



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