It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'  (Read 5840 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2025
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #25 on: July 28, 2018, 05:21:33 PM »
I never said she was marriage material.  But it's pretty obvious their communication was lacking.  Paying for the vacation is irrelevant.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline ML

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9000
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #26 on: July 28, 2018, 07:54:19 PM »
I told wifey some of this story.  So she wanted to read the entire first posting.

Her one and only comment:  That woman was not cultured and certainly not intelligent at all.
I said, why?

She replied:  Going to Paris and spending half the day in bed.  I would have been up at crack of dawn each day to take in everything about Paris.
Winston Churchill.  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 309
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'h
« Reply #27 on: July 28, 2018, 09:45:16 PM »
Of course the woman has a problem. She knew gaspar had serious intentions but she didn't care to impressing him by displaying good character traits and gaspar didn't like her smoking but she did it anyway. If she, at the age of 30, couldn't read how unhappy gaspar was at times at, then she's dumber than a box of rocks.

Good time girls usually give men great communication and pretend to like those men. With the attention they get, men tend to choose to visit those girls over family orientated girls.

Where do you get the idea gaspar had serious intentions?  He made it pretty clear he did not have serious intentions when the woman was 14 years younger, and his backup plan was Tinder.  That sounds to me a lot more like a sex tourist than someone with serious intentions.
He was looking for a good time with a good time gal.  He found the good time gal he was looking for, but not the good time he envisioned.

A good time gal is not going to care if he was unhappy or not.  A good time gal is just concerned with getting what she wants.  (And how much did gaspar care what the girl wanted?  He seemed focused on her not giving him what he wanted.)  Family or marriage oriented girls are going to be concerned with how the other person feels.

Quote
She replied:  Going to Paris and spending half the day in bed.  I would have been up at crack of dawn each day to take in everything about Paris.

Touche.  Although one does wonder how late she was staying up enjoying the Parisian nightlife. 

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2025
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #28 on: July 28, 2018, 11:19:54 PM »
I think it's quite a leap to state gaspar didn't have serious intentions.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7256
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #29 on: July 28, 2018, 11:23:27 PM »
I told wifey some of this story.  So she wanted to read the entire first posting.

Her one and only comment:  That woman was not cultured and certainly not intelligent at all.
I said, why?

She replied:  Going to Paris and spending half the day in bed.  I would have been up at crack of dawn each day to take in everything about Paris.

BRILLIANT
No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Online Maxx2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #30 on: July 29, 2018, 06:40:18 AM »
BRILLIANT


I agree. Sleeping half the day away is nuts. I had a similar situation. She would sleep 12 hours and wake up at 11 AM. Then 1 1/2 to 3 hours of preparation before going out the door. Not interested much in sight seeing. Didn't care if she visited Tbilisi or not (We didn't). Didn't care if we visited the historic Goneo fortress or not (We didn't) even though we drove past it a few times a day. Then lunch at restaurant followed by 3-4 hours at the beach, a daily stop at a store for $35-$50 of food and quality wine, a home cooked meal which she cooked. Good cook but served size portions that could feed us, Moby, SC and Moby's business partner.

Offline JohnDearGreen

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 867
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • It's 5 o'clock somewhere...
    • JDG
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #31 on: July 29, 2018, 08:45:14 AM »
I will preface this by saying that I had been looking forward to a trip to just Kiev and possibly an 'explore Ukraine' trip. 
First rule of gambling: never bet on the other person's game.
Make your plans and stick to them.  Less risk that way.
...

Online msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7256
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #32 on: July 29, 2018, 09:19:10 AM »

Good cook but served size portions that could feed us, Moby, SC and Moby's business partner.

 :D
No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 309
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #33 on: July 29, 2018, 09:33:38 AM »
Quote
I think it's quite a leap to state gaspar didn't have serious intentions.

I find it most difficult to believe that someone who would entertain using Tinder (much less actually using it) during a trip to get to know someone could have had serious intentions about building a real relationship.

If Tinder is not an expression of interest in a shallow and superficial sexual experience before building the foundations for a real relationship, I don't know what is.  People who have serious intentions do not pursue shallow and superficial, nor do they even consider them a possibility.

Someone with serious intentions acts with maturity, and does not play immature games.

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4363
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #34 on: July 29, 2018, 10:08:15 AM »
I find it most difficult to believe that someone who would entertain using Tinder (much less actually using it) during a trip to get to know someone could have had serious intentions about building a real relationship.

If Tinder is not an expression of interest in a shallow and superficial sexual experience before building the foundations for a real relationship, I don't know what is.  People who have serious intentions do not pursue shallow and superficial, nor do they even consider them a possibility.

Someone with serious intentions acts with maturity, and does not play immature games.

I think sometimes guys use Tinder in the hope they may hit upon a good girl and they luck out. Some guys have said it's not too bad/not the same as in the west. I think though if it ever was not too bad in the FSU it's probably gone south since. I think a lot of the dubious girls probably perculate towards stuff like this. On the plus side it may free up the internet dating sites of them :)

I think it's the quicker ability for scammers, etc get a 'victim' or 'client' over the internet game of sending messages, getting her number through messaging apps, etc that probably appeals to those dregs of society.

I think it's very decent of Gaspar to alert other serious guys to the downsides of these online dating apps. I think if he thought he would be in for that ordeal he would have steered clear also.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11907
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
    • Good Story
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #35 on: July 29, 2018, 02:02:12 PM »
But it's pretty obvious their communication was lacking.


Gasper had enough communication. If a person I never met suggested I give them $3000 cash, give $3000 in gifts, or suggested I take them on a vacation worth $3000, I'd think they are rude and I wouldn't meet them. Gasper ignored the red flags. More communication with the woman wouldn't have helped him.
There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4363
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #36 on: July 29, 2018, 02:10:34 PM »
Then she would tell me stories about how poor she was, how she would not wash the dishes with the water running because water was expensive, or how her family would live on 500 Grivna a month in the winter because all their money went to heating -- meanwhile she's ordering 2 dinners at the restaurant (probably 1200 grivnas worth) because she didn't realize that the steak Carpaccio was RAW (even though I told her like 100 times...even with a google translated version)  LOL.  just crazy. 

I blew a lot of cash on someone who did not appreciate it and 100% realize this was because I did not follow some of the basic advice on this board.

I can totally relate to this Gaspar as my situation with that the last girl I was with was much the same. She ordered a plate of Mousaka and barely touched it, even the waiter noticed and commented as well. This was after I told her we had just eaten a couple of hours or so ago. Like your girl she was supposed to come from a poor background but acted like a spoilt LA brat. She apparently like in a small cramped apartment in a concrete block. I was dumbstruck at this sheer wasteful attitude. It was like her flushing my money down the toilet and not caring. To me eden someone you don't like that much this is beyond disrespectful. I had bought her clothes, gave her a small amount of money, paid for all flights, accomodation and car hire (& drove). I had talked to her and tried to be nice to her and yet apparently my walet still deserved to be trashed needless in this manner. Then she had the cheek to demand I get her a tourist visa on top of that. Totally demented behaviour. I don't really care if a guy is X amount of years older than the girl, there is still a basic minimum of respect one should have. If I had been a real arsehole I could understand it, but I had not. This was all in Cyprus so though probably not as expensive as Paris prices not exactly cheap like Ukraine prices either.

So no they don't appreciate it, even when their actions say they do their actions say otherwise. I find with a lot of FSW I message that they have this 'I'm the boss attitude' What is it with that? It's just bizarre and makes them difficult to deal with. I'm guessing that is why they are single as most FSUM can't deal with it either and pass over them. Is a sense of reasonableness too much to ask for, lol.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4363
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #37 on: July 29, 2018, 02:49:13 PM »
Gasper had enough communication. If a person I never met suggested I give them $3000 cash, give $3000 in gifts, or suggested I take them on a vacation worth $3000, I'd think they are rude and I wouldn't meet them. Gasper ignored the red flags. More communication with the woman wouldn't have helped him.

He may have ignored Red Flags. He may not know what those Red Flags are. I found when starting out on all of this a lot of people talk about Scammers. That's kind of amateur hour stuff and anyone with a bit of common sense should be able to avoid them. These type of good time girls/holiday whore girls call them what you will they don't really raise the same Red Flags as Scammers so they are difficult to spot to a relative Newbie. Possibly it may be possible to learn off others here or some advisory info though it may be a case for many of experiencing such a girl and learning atm. It's why I think more effort needs to go into warning guys of such girls and and the warning signs. To many a relative Newbie like myself they seem like girls that are interested and up for it so similar to girls you'd hope for but rather into the guy than into a vacation.

That or he's communication did not bring up the Red Flags obviously enough  A guy can talk for a long time getting to know the girl and having pleasant conversations but not ask the relevant questions that may have shown the tips of girl she is. The problem he had is that he communicated for quite some time so he was invested in this one girl. Most girls of dubious intention would get bored and go elsewhere so he could have rightly thought all was good. Guys have used this technique on this bored with success. Some might sag he messed things up, had he insisted on Kiev with girl then all would have been good - maybe. She may have taken liberties seeing that she could get more than at home. Like Gaspar reckonises himself though I think he is just going to have to do some more careful screening next time.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline Bee Farmer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 309
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #38 on: July 29, 2018, 09:00:03 PM »
Quote
I think sometimes guys use Tinder in the hope they may hit upon a good girl and they luck out.

Yeah, and some guys visit a whorehouse or a strip club in the hopes of finding a good girl too.  I suspect the odds are about the same.

Good girls don't use sex as the foundation for a relationship.

Quote
It was like her flushing my money down the toilet and not caring.

Was it?  Did you also own the food she was eating?  Or was it hers?
The moment you give someone your money (or pay for food for them) it is no longer your money.  It is theirs to waste or be thrifty with.

If you give a girl money to buy something at a store, do you make her give you the change to the exact penny?

Quote
I had talked to her and tried to be nice to her and yet apparently my walet still deserved to be trashed needless in this manner.

Normally, guys are more worried about getting their heart hurt than the money they spend when trying to build a relationship with a girl.
You're not buying a wife.  You're making an emotional investment. 
The injury to my wallet is easy to repair...an injury to my heart, now that's a much bigger price to pay.

If you are more worried about your wallet than your heart, you might not have your heart in the right place.  Just something to think about.

Online Maxx2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #39 on: July 30, 2018, 11:22:02 AM »

Was it?  Did you also own the food she was eating?  Or was it hers?
The moment you give someone your money (or pay for food for them) it is no longer your money.  It is theirs to waste or be thrifty with.

If you give a girl money to buy something at a store, do you make her give you the change to the exact penny?

Normally, guys are more worried about getting their heart hurt than the money they spend when trying to build a relationship with a girl.
You're not buying a wife.  You're making an emotional investment. 
The injury to my wallet is easy to repair...an injury to my heart, now that's a much bigger price to pay.

If you are more worried about your wallet than your heart, you might not have your heart in the right place.  Just something to think about.


Wow! You just don't understand. A guy needs a woman that can work within a budget. If she spends like mine did, $1000 - $1500 a month at the grocery store buying among other things  expensive cheeses and wine (every day) a guy has got to ask himself a question, "Can I afford her?" I mean the reflection of the spending doesn't stop with the dietary budget does it? She will expect the most expensive car to drive. She'll expect him to drain his IRA or savings to keep her in luxury. In the end, when he is broke, he will not get any credit for the thousands, ten's of thousands, hundreds (I've seen it) of thousands he spent on her. Her attitude, I guarantee it, is she deserved ever penny he spent on her.


Here a post from a man named "Bean"





"My wife and step daughter ar[e] crazy IMHO!

My wife accuses me of "lying to her, cheating her and destroying her life." Acoording to her I have stolen 3 years of her life.

How about if we review the last 3 1/2 years:

1 trip to Spain ( Barcelona and Costa Brava)

1 Trip to Italy ( Rome, Florence, Vienna, Amalfi, Sorrento, Capri etc)

1 Trip to Domincan Republic All Inclusive for 2 Weeks

2 Motor Home trips of 6 weeks plus

2 Sailing trips of 6 weeks plus on a new 40' Catalina sailboat

3 trips to Florida from the Midwest

3 trips to Russia for more than 3 weeks each

1 trip to All inclusive resort in Turkey.

Never worked or contributed in any way to anything.

Demanded money of numerous occaisions. When my parents made a significant $ gift at Christmas she demand 1/2

She is now on the deed to my home and mortgage.


According to her "I have lied to her, cheated her and destroyed her life."

The last time I tried to have a conversation with her she accused me of stealing 3 years from her life.

I tried to point out:

1 She has travelled the world.

2 She has never worked or contibuted to our life.

3 She now speaks English.

4 She is a permament resident of the US.

5 She has a drivers license and a new car. (Buick Rendevous)

6 Her daughter will be a University Graduate in 5 months. ( She has lived with us in the US for 3 + years.)

7 They have destroyed and totalled 2 cars. (Note from Maxx: at last count 3)

8 My step daughter has spent every summer in Russia since they arrived 4 years ago.

9 blah, blah, blah

I could gone forever!

IMHO, you are crazy to marry a RW!

Bean


I am not done with my "RANT"

Will someone please explain to me how I "lied to her, cheated her and destroyed her life." How did I "steal 3 + years of her life?"

Richard asked if any board members could identify any personality or charcater disorders common to RW. I have tried to establish relationshipswith other RW/AM couples. Their experience is the same as mine. They (AM) dedicate, sacrifice and and give, give, give. It is never enough or good enough. Give them a 1 and 1/2 carat diamond and as soon as the see a RW with 2 carats.....you have effed up!

My conclusion is that my experience is typical.

My wife and step daughter are not bad people. They are simply products of their environment. They came her[e] for a better life and simply couldn't figure out when they had it.

Needless to say, my marriage is over! This was the biggest mistake of my life!

I can't wait until I am out of this BS!

Bean

BTW, for those of you who suspect I am chauvinistic or demanding and perhaps my mental health is the cause of our failure, please be informed that I never had any domestic expectaions.

I never asked or expected my wife to cook, clean, do laundry or any other domestice "chores." From day one I simply asked her to be happy, enjoy life and try not to be too critical. She couldn't do it! She had platinum credit cards, debi cards, check book etc.

She was simply incapable of not judging me, criticising me and complaining. The more I gave the more she complained!

My experience with my "RW" is bizarre!

Perhaps I am totally at fault. I think I was way too generous in the beginning. I think I created an unrealistic expectation. I loved her and wanted to change her life. I phucked up! Big Time!

She's miserable and so am I. Hopefully we will find a way out of this mess!

Bean

4 plus years later and they still only speak
russian to each other at home. Right in front of me and all the time.

To my fault and at my expense I still have no idea what they are talking about. All I know is that the vocabulary is harsh, often loud screaming, guttaral and often refers to me.

I have made repeated requests. "english only in the kitchen and dining room, to no avail.

I do know that the aftermath to their conversation is not good for my wife. my step daughter and especially for me.

Had I known I was marrying a woman so I could pay tribute her beauty, intelligence and sophistication I would'nt have gone through with it. If what you say is true and is typical or usual for RW then most of theses marriages are doomed.

It also answers Richard's origianl question regarding common character or personality disorders.

You may be on to something. If you are it needs to be published in the tablets something like this:

"One very good reason to marry an RW is so you will have someone to demean you, insult you and criticize you. Following her critique and condemnation you will be allowed to pay her tribute for her beauty and intelligence."

For the record, I married to have a life partner to love and share my life with.

Bean "




Offline lyndontom

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 214
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #40 on: July 30, 2018, 11:24:38 AM »
Yeah, and some guys visit a whorehouse or a strip club in the hopes of finding a good girl too.  I suspect the odds are about the same.


To say there are no genuine ladies using Tinder, or that everyone using it does so as a means to buy or sell sex, is ridiculous.


Sure prostitutes use the App, just as they'll use other dating websites. I met a well educated lady working in a bank in Kiev through tinder and the vast majority of women on it here in the UK are looking for a relationship, not just a hook up or money.


Maybe things are different in good ol' USA. Nobody is suggesting to use Tinder as a sole source of meeting women, but what is the harm of having a free App in your weaponry as long as you have anything between your ears to be able to differentiate working girls from normal ones?

Offline ML

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9000
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #41 on: July 30, 2018, 11:51:30 AM »

Wow! You just don't understand. A guy needs a woman that can work within a budget. If she spends like mine did, $1000 - $1500 a month at the grocery store buying among other things  expensive cheeses and wine (every day) a guy has got to ask himself a question, "Can I afford her?" I mean the reflection of the spending doesn't stop with the dietary budget does it? She will expect the most expensive car to drive. She'll expect him to drain his IRA or savings to keep her in luxury. In the end, when he is broke, he will not get any credit for the thousands, ten's of thousands, hundreds (I've seen it) of thousands he spent on her. Her attitude, I guarantee it, is she deserved ever penny he spent on her.

Good post Maxx.

Thankfully, I haven't experienced such a gal.
But such women (and men) do exist, so best to look for and heed warning signs early on.
Winston Churchill.  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Offline ML

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9000
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #42 on: July 30, 2018, 12:04:21 PM »
Here a post from a man named "Bean"

"My wife and step daughter ar[e] crazy IMHO!

My wife accuses me of "lying to her, cheating her and destroying her life." Acoording to her I have stolen 3 years of her life.

How about if we review the last 3 1/2 years:

1 trip to Spain ( Barcelona and Costa Brava)

1 Trip to Italy ( Rome, Florence, Vienna, Amalfi, Sorrento, Capri etc)

1 Trip to Domincan Republic All Inclusive for 2 Weeks

2 Motor Home trips of 6 weeks plus

2 Sailing trips of 6 weeks plus on a new 40' Catalina sailboat

3 trips to Florida from the Midwest

3 trips to Russia for more than 3 weeks each

1 trip to All inclusive resort in Turkey.

Never worked or contributed in any way to anything.

Demanded money of numerous occaisions. When my parents made a significant $ gift at Christmas she demand 1/2

She is now on the deed to my home and mortgage.


According to her "I have lied to her, cheated her and destroyed her life."

The last time I tried to have a conversation with her she accused me of stealing 3 years from her life.

I tried to point out:

1 She has travelled the world.

2 She has never worked or contibuted to our life.

3 She now speaks English.

4 She is a permament resident of the US.

5 She has a drivers license and a new car. (Buick Rendevous)

6 Her daughter will be a University Graduate in 5 months. ( She has lived with us in the US for 3 + years.)

7 They have destroyed and totalled 2 cars. (Note from Maxx: at last count 3)

8 My step daughter has spent every summer in Russia since they arrived 4 years ago.

9 blah, blah, blah

I could gone forever!

IMHO, you are crazy to marry a RW!

Bean


I am not done with my "RANT"

Will someone please explain to me how I "lied to her, cheated her and destroyed her life." How did I "steal 3 + years of her life?"

Richard asked if any board members could identify any personality or charcater disorders common to RW. I have tried to establish relationshipswith other RW/AM couples. Their experience is the same as mine. They (AM) dedicate, sacrifice and and give, give, give. It is never enough or good enough. Give them a 1 and 1/2 carat diamond and as soon as the see a RW with 2 carats.....you have effed up!

My conclusion is that my experience is typical.

My wife and step daughter are not bad people. They are simply products of their environment. They came her[e] for a better life and simply couldn't figure out when they had it.

Needless to say, my marriage is over! This was the biggest mistake of my life!

I can't wait until I am out of this BS!

Bean

BTW, for those of you who suspect I am chauvinistic or demanding and perhaps my mental health is the cause of our failure, please be informed that I never had any domestic expectaions.

I never asked or expected my wife to cook, clean, do laundry or any other domestice "chores." From day one I simply asked her to be happy, enjoy life and try not to be too critical. She couldn't do it! She had platinum credit cards, debi cards, check book etc.

She was simply incapable of not judging me, criticising me and complaining. The more I gave the more she complained!

My experience with my "RW" is bizarre!

Perhaps I am totally at fault. I think I was way too generous in the beginning. I think I created an unrealistic expectation. I loved her and wanted to change her life. I phucked up! Big Time!

She's miserable and so am I. Hopefully we will find a way out of this mess!

Bean

4 plus years later and they still only speak
russian to each other at home. Right in front of me and all the time.

To my fault and at my expense I still have no idea what they are talking about. All I know is that the vocabulary is harsh, often loud screaming, guttaral and often refers to me.

I have made repeated requests. "english only in the kitchen and dining room, to no avail.

I do know that the aftermath to their conversation is not good for my wife. my step daughter and especially for me.

Had I known I was marrying a woman so I could pay tribute her beauty, intelligence and sophistication I would'nt have gone through with it. If what you say is true and is typical or usual for RW then most of theses marriages are doomed.

It also answers Richard's origianl question regarding common character or personality disorders.

You may be on to something. If you are it needs to be published in the tablets something like this:

"One very good reason to marry an RW is so you will have someone to demean you, insult you and criticize you. Following her critique and condemnation you will be allowed to pay her tribute for her beauty and intelligence."

For the record, I married to have a life partner to love and share my life with.

Bean "


Thanks much for sharing Maxx !!!

This is a good read for most all of us when we ever start thinking that we have it bad !!!
Winston Churchill.  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Online Maxx2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #43 on: July 30, 2018, 12:25:24 PM »

Thanks much for sharing Maxx !!!

This is a good read for most all of us when we ever start thinking that we have it bad !!!


You are welcome ML


It is getting late here in the Republic of Georgia. About to turn in.

Offline GQBlues

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8440
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #44 on: July 31, 2018, 12:12:56 PM »
...
Here a post from a man named "Bean" ...

Wow! I remember Bean and his saga!  :-[ Whatever happened to him?

Do you know Dave?
~Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people~ Gator :P

Online Maxx2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #45 on: July 31, 2018, 02:06:58 PM »
Poor Bean was so 10 years ago. I understand that he had to leave a comfortable retirement from being a successful Michigan restauranteur to having to work again. I think jb or CaptB (good friends) told me that about 2008 - 2009.  I haven't heard from jb since then. 




Offline GQBlues

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8440
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #46 on: July 31, 2018, 05:18:08 PM »
Bean was very encouraging during my live T/R. Didn't expect he'd end up the way he did. I still remember that thread when he posted his tribulations. His ex sound a lot like my nieces and nephews today. Damn millennials! They got the world figured out except the value of work and money. Why work when you have an uncle GQ...


As for jb, probably busy considering Texas is now the world's 3rd largest oil producer. Surpassing Iran/Iraq.
~Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people~ Gator :P

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4363
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #47 on: July 31, 2018, 09:28:00 PM »
I think what this bean guy shows is that there can be no end to it if getting with such a financially careless girl. That such girls probably need to be denied a lot and managed. I think some women such as we have here have an inbuilt simplicity to them from the FSU. A bit like giving a real life dumper truck to a little kid and giving it the keys to drive it - disaster is ahead. I don't think these girls are built to be given too much leeway, that they don't have the capacity for careful financially thinking in them. They are kind of like a primeval creature just really suited to the simplicities of like whatever they may think.

I think also with and age gap of around 13-14 years or more they may think they are due all this extra stuff/carry on as a matter of right for being with an older guy. Some girls may be different but I think a lot may think that. I wonder if such a girl might be more respectful to a younger guy, some may I wonder while others may be the same to any guy perhaps.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline Jumper

  • RWD Advisor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3744
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #48 on: August 02, 2018, 12:19:55 AM »
Bean was on a rant then. That  was I believe RdubyaG times, and if I'm not mistaken the wife had just crashed another car?
I remember him posting a few days later more moderately about it all and admitting he had just had enough and venting.
  I dont know what happened all these years later .

.

Offline Jumper

  • RWD Advisor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3744
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Kiev + Paris 2018 -- or as I now realize 'what not to do'
« Reply #49 on: August 02, 2018, 12:34:38 AM »
Quote
so even though red flags started to show towards the actual date of the trip, I stubbornly stuck with the idea of going with this girl. 

I'm sorry you had another bad time.


Ignoring red flags seems to be becoming routine though!

You're last girl was crazy enough to make you think to hide knives before going to sleep and tattooed your name on her hand,
And you filed a k1?
 then she acted the fool with your family while on a european vacation.


This one seems mild by comparison.

Maybe more vetting before meeting, and more vetting during meetings and more willingness to walk away in 1.3 seconds if it's going in a direction that isnt healthy for either person?

If you continue to ignore red flags or stubbornly go with a girl whose priorities arnt aligned with yours , what result do you expect?


I know I sound harsh, i just hope you are learning from these experiences.



.

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 9974
Latest: shakennotstirred
New This Month: 5
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 491206
Total Topics: 19420
Most Online Today: 1243
Most Online Ever: 2480
(November 01, 2018, 05:22:05 PM)
Users Online
Members: 29
Guests: 1216
Total: 1245

+-Recent Posts

Re: My new life in the Republic of Georgia by Maxx2
Today at 12:31:23 AM

Re: Johnson promised Brexit- - but failed - again by msmob
Today at 12:06:32 AM

Re: My new life in the Republic of Georgia by BillyB
Today at 12:06:19 AM

Re: My new life in the Republic of Georgia by msmob
Yesterday at 11:55:31 PM

Re: Johnson promised Brexit- - but failed - again by msmob
Yesterday at 11:51:09 PM

Re: My new life in the Republic of Georgia by Maxx2
Yesterday at 11:50:53 PM

Re: Brexit good, bad or indifferent? by msmob
Yesterday at 11:46:42 PM

Re: Dating sites of Russian Women only in US by jone
Yesterday at 08:51:02 PM

Re: Dating sites of Russian Women only in US by krimster2
Yesterday at 07:16:09 PM

Re: Johnson promised Brexit-but may deliver Engxit by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 05:57:54 PM

Powered by EzPortal

create account