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Author Topic: Starting Over in 2018  (Read 9409 times)

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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #50 on: November 15, 2019, 12:26:48 AM »
Robbie Williams was famous and worth more than £100 million (now over £250 million). He had women chasing him when he was drug addled. This is a poor example which bears no relation to your reality. Itís a stupid example. If you were rich and famous you wouldnít have problems finding women interested in you either.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

I doubt any of the Take That group had problems getting girls due to their fame and fortune, etc. The point was that Robbie got tons more female admirers due to his looks, ie that women are just as flawed as men in their view of relationships.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #51 on: November 15, 2019, 12:30:32 AM »
There are literally hundreds of thousands of men in the UK more attractive than Robbie Williams.  He stands out because he's a great dancer (equates to many to being good in bed, but that is manufactured), and is famous.  If he were working in a chip shop in Stoke-on-Trent, he would not have had women falling over themselves for him.


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To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline Davo

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #52 on: November 15, 2019, 01:27:42 AM »
Davo,

What's your take on K's daughter and the ex-husband/father?   Is the father involved in her life?  Or is he making noise because he wants to see a payoff?

If you can remember my TP. When I returned home everything was great, then I was confused about what was going on and why things suddenly changed. One minute she was 100% on track and looking like we might have a future together, but we had agreed to meet again before making any big decisions. The next minute it all feel in a heap.

I think I mentioned that she was invited to stay the night at her exís parents house with her daughter (which was unusual) and the next morning she went straight back to her city to have in her words a ďmeetingĒ with her parents. To me it all sound very official and serious. At that point she started pulling back with the phone calls if you remember and finally the messages. I suspected I was being discussed at the ex in-laws. Some of the members here privately agreed with what I suspected but I didnít bother trying to confirm it with her.

After I left the site for a while communication was getting harder and I could see her heart wasnít in it anymore. I decided it wasnít going anywhere and pulled the pin. We still chatted occasionally as friends.

On my last night of my trip I met a Russian guy and his GF and we have become good friends (Iím going on holiday with them and her sister in a little over a week). I had a good discussion about the situation a few months ago with him and being a local he knew of Kís Ex. Heís a pretty influential man in the region and my friend agreed that my suspicions were exactly what happened. He said the moment we were both seen in public together, it would have got back to her ex that she was with a foreign guy.

Later when chatting with K she confirmed my suspicions.

When they first broke up he threatened to take her to court to get full custody of their daughter, she called his bluff and said you can take her. A day later she realised looking after a child full time wasnít his thing and backed down.

At her in-laws the same pressure was applied and he threatened legal action if she proceeded with our relationship and attempt to take their daughter out of the country. She then went to talk to her parents about what had occurred. Her Ex has a good relationship with their daughter compared with most divorced Russian men and being a father myself, honestly I would have probably done the same thing.

As far as a payoff, heís wealthy by Russian standards and unofficially makes $7000 US a month, so money wasnít an issue. On that point he pays a lot more towards his kids upbringing than just the standard child support (including their adult son, studying at a prestigious university in Moscow) and he hinted in the meeting that he would also withdraw that support.

She genuinely liked me, but pulled back when things went pear shaped, I guess to save further pain for us both. Her daughters 5 years away from legally making her own decisions, so if we are both still single who knows? .... there might still be a small chance things will work out.

I donít have any regrets considering many guys struggle to even get to the point I did the first time around and it has been one of the best dating experience since my divorce.....Iíve learnt a lot and Iíve made some mistakes along the way. There are some things I will do differently next time and some things Iíll do exactly the same.

« Last Edit: November 15, 2019, 04:45:46 AM by Davo »

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #53 on: November 15, 2019, 01:44:08 AM »
Ah, that's why she was so concerned about the financial situation as she's used to money and a good lifestyle. Plus if her ex pulls the plug she would be left high and dry if it went pear shaped for her, including her son at the prestigious uni. However, if you aren't a bit and after that stuff is done who knows. I'm don't reckon I would lose time waiting around though. Chances are the financial pull of her ex will always be there and too strong for her to resist.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online msmob

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #54 on: November 15, 2019, 02:06:35 AM »
Trench, you are a total ARSE....

I believe Davo and this women did click and you haven't a clue re the issues an ex can have re kids without the rights to decide for themselves.

'K' and Davo  are between a rock and a hard place and I admire his persistence.






No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Offline Davo

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #55 on: November 15, 2019, 02:08:07 AM »
Ah, that's why she was so concerned about the financial situation as she's used to money and a good lifestyle. Plus if her ex pulls the plug she would be left high and dry if it went pear shaped for her, including her son at the prestigious uni. However, if you aren't a bit and after that stuff is done who knows. I'm don't reckon I would lose time waiting around though. Chances are the financial pull of her ex will always be there and too strong for her to resist.

No trench, not at all!!!!......By the time we called it quits, I was making more than her ex and she knew that, so her exís money had nothing to do with the decision. It was all about her daughter and I even expressed empathy for her husband position to her.

She is in a great financial position without her Ex or me. She has extensive savings in the bank and in trust for her children. Her family are well off. She owns the property that her and her Ex lived in and she didnít get it in their divorce. She earns a good wage for a woman in Russia. With minimal effort, given her qualifications and experience she could have walked into a 120k+ job here, but some study to upgrade her degrees is needed. She said early on that she wants a man whoís driven to succeed and can support her and her daughter during the transition... Exactly like S and exactly like any FSU woman would expect. We were at a point of discussing things like her finances and I encouraged her to keep her assets and savings for her children.... As a man it should be my responsibility to provide for her until sheís on her feet in my country.

She is the most frugal woman you would ever meet. She chastised me often for over spending. Looked at prices closely when shopping to get the best bargains. Didnít want to buy a car (although well with in her means) because itís cheaper catching a bus and would rather buy off the discount rack than spend on designer clothes. The last night in her city I surprised her with a night at the Hilton, champagne and caviar and I could see she was uncomfortable. The next morning she refused to eat breakfast there because it was too expensive and we walked back to the supermarket near my apartment, because she insisted on cooking me breakfast.

Not all all women are driven by money. She just wanted to live a normal life in Australia, you canít do that on a wage like yours as a one income family. It would be stretching it on my offical wage she saw on her failed visa application. She didnít know I was making extra in my business, which wasnít included because at that stage I was doing 90% cash in hand work in my business.

Iím not waiting around.... I went on a blind date with a very nice and  attractive woman last weekend. A friend of my friend who was talking to K and Iím spending 10 days in Vietnam with a Russian woman the week after next. If I wasnít going on holiday Iíd pursue the blind date. She proof that you can still find wonderful women at home. In our age group Trench they are actually thick on the ground.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2019, 04:23:27 AM by Davo »

Offline Davo

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #56 on: November 15, 2019, 04:38:31 AM »
Donít take my posts as criticism Trench. Itís just advice from one FSU newbie to another and a guy whoís lived with a woman for 20 years while raising 4 kids, two are now adults..... My advice from the latter is you are vastly underestimating the cost of having a wife and children on a single income like yours.

Sorry OP for sidetracking your thread🙂
« Last Edit: November 15, 2019, 04:40:56 AM by Davo »

Online krimster2

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #57 on: November 15, 2019, 05:21:05 AM »
as someone also married to a RW for 20 years, but alas only two children, both in college...
I echo your sentiment....

but look around...
lotta poor people are married and have children...
for some people marriage can be a way OUT of poverty... (if you don't have children!)

Trench lives in a part of the UK that's not optimal for dating...
and Trench is himself "not optimal" for dating...

so...
Game Theory suggests
Trench can pursue three different strategies:

ONE - self improvement to raise women's perception of him to raise his chances
TWO - increase his contacts, hoping that one "clicks"
Three - move outta the Midlands to Londinium or other larger city (but watch out for the Romans - or did they leave?) this is also to "raise his chances"

BUT...
as a wise hunter once noted, finding the quarry is only the first task...
there are many other steps to be performed before you sit down to a venison dinner....
and if a hunter is getting stuck in an "infinite loop" waiting for the deer to appear
then he learns nothing about how to do the rest of the job
and doesn't realize HOW FAR away he is from those tasty deer steaks!

« Last Edit: November 15, 2019, 06:13:07 AM by krimster2 »

Offline SteveInBoston

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #58 on: November 15, 2019, 05:41:36 AM »
I had deer once.  Didn't taste like chicken.

Online krimster2

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #59 on: November 15, 2019, 06:19:54 AM »
my deer butchering experience came in handy in Crimea when I found myself living on a little farm dubbed the "Rancho Del Krimster"
and extended this knowledge from deer to pigs and sheep AND chickens...
when Russians saw my Nipposki nosh they knew I was a serious malchick, none of that dull Russkaya stal, ha

Online jone

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #60 on: November 15, 2019, 10:27:43 AM »
The first thing to ask a woman who has a child is whether the father is involved with her life.   If the answer is 'yes', then she is not a suitable candidate to be dating.   Simples.   There are too many other women out there who don't have such a problem. 

Even if the father is NOT in the child's life, once they hear that the ex-wife is contemplating living overseas with their son or daughter, you can expect push back.  Or, flat out, bribery.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Wayne

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #61 on: November 15, 2019, 10:40:55 AM »
Today is the opening of the firearms deer season in my state. A lot of men have taken the day off to go hunting.

The "wild" taste in venison is when you don't skin the meat out right away and cool or freeze it. It also does not have much fat and needs to be cooked differently than beef or pork. Some people have most of the meat ground up with added pork.

Offline SteveInBoston

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #62 on: November 15, 2019, 11:33:42 AM »
Oh deer,

Sorry for contributing to the off topic conversation.


Back to BoozeBaron:

Good luck on your trip this winter.  I will be over there from Christmas to Christmas, Dec 25 to Jan 7.

I would suggest using Airbnb for apt rental.  Just rent for a few days of a week, then talk to the owner about a monthly rate if you like the apt and want to stay longer.

Fdating seems to be popular now, with a few posters here in the past year having success with meeting women on that platform.  I am out of the search now, having married in April.  If you want, PM me on how I did it.

Cheers

Offline Davo

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #63 on: November 15, 2019, 01:37:30 PM »
The first thing to ask a woman who has a child is whether the father is involved with her life.   If the answer is 'yes', then she is not a suitable candidate to be dating.   Simples.   There are too many other women out there who don't have such a problem. 

Even if the father is NOT in the child's life, once they hear that the ex-wife is contemplating living overseas with their son or daughter, you can expect push back.  Or, flat out, bribery.

BoozeBaron I can answer Jone and still kind of stay on topic 😏 ..... Fdating is all you need to meet FSU women (dmnotify is also, it has a cheap monthly subscription fee). Fdating was recommended to me as a way to meet German women who wanted to converse with native English speakers to practice her English skills.  (On DM you can make this as a preference and a lot of women are there partially for this reason).

Jone, I may have mentioned this several years ago, I was planning a trip to Germany and wanted to spend time chatting with a native speaker to pick up the basics.  Unfortunately after a week of trying with a young woman, I realised I needed to start this process with a basic beginner course.

In the mean time a bisexual woman from Kaliningrad Sext me..... she wanted to know if I would like to try her ďpancakes with creamĒ😂. After a series of escalating and very suggestive food related sext, I found she liked women more than men and thereís a bisexual and gay sub culture on fdating, especially amongst Russians. I canít remember now, but they put some secret sign to indicate they are gay or bi in their profile.

This woman liked Australia and was interested in learning more about our culture and I in turn started developing an interest in Russian culture and she taught me a lot. After a week or two she left the site and I decided to message some Russian women and continue a similar online friendship like the bisexual woman. In the group of women I messaged was K and she covered all bases, she knew some German and also could satisfy my new found interest in Russia.

BoozeBaron, I was blown away by the reply rate on fdating I think most of the women replied and it was nothing like online dating at home, where you send 50
messages to get several replies and a date if youíre lucky..... and all the women seemed genuine (I messaged women around the same age as me, with children as I had kids also)

K replied last and because she knew some German I said goodbye to the rest and we discovered we shared a very similar life. She was married to a serial cheater and so had I. Our exís left us at home every weekend with the kids while they drank, partied and slept around and our oldest children were estranged from our Exís because they left us for their last affair partner and our kids reacted badly to this. Her daughter had very minimal contact at that stage and this occurred at the in-laws where she felt more comfortable in her dads presence. Their older son was already in Uni and hadnít talked to his dad for over a year, like my oldest daughter with my ex.

This is where I made a mistake Jone in hindsight. At the start we were just two online pen pals supporting each other with reuniting our children with our wayward ex spouses and we were very successful. Now all of our children enjoy a great relationship with them.

When we started developing feelings for each other, the conversation regarding her ex allowing their daughter to leave the country come up several times and she was certain this would be ok. Even after my trip we discussed this and she said as long as her daughter could return several times a year she thinks her Ex will agree. Obviously her ex had other ideas on this matter.

The girl Iím meeting in a week has already told me sheís not particularly interested in leaving Russia, we are just going to have some fun in the sun, so Iíll probably be back on fdating and repeat this whole process next year if I donít meet a nice local woman in the meantime.

Sorry for the sidetrack again BoozeBaron Good luck in your upcoming adventure, I hope it goes well for you 😁
« Last Edit: November 15, 2019, 03:48:21 PM by Davo »

Offline JayH

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #64 on: November 15, 2019, 03:08:59 PM »
The first thing to ask a woman who has a child is whether the father is involved with her life.   If the answer is 'yes', then she is not a suitable candidate to be dating.   Simples.   There are too many other women out there who don't have such a problem. 

Even if the father is NOT in the child's life, once they hear that the ex-wife is contemplating living overseas with their son or daughter, you can expect push back.  Or, flat out, bribery.

Jone -- as far as Ukraine is concerned  the law was changed last year ( 2018 -maybe 2017 ? time flies)  in relation to mothers & childrens rights -- and  it is now easier to get a more common sense legal ruling .Amongst changes in the actual law-- the process was simplified too.
Not a guarantee but not the close to impossible hurdle presented in earlier times -and still does in Russia.
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline HoundDaddyLee

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #65 on: November 15, 2019, 05:07:35 PM »
Don't be so sure about this.


So we can rule out "ML" stands for "More Length"  :clapping:

Online krimster2

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #66 on: November 15, 2019, 08:11:26 PM »
from what I saw, there are GAZILLIONS of single 40ish women in Moscva of all DIFFERENT types...

you can find blue collar women, I even met a pretty street sweeper...
or sophisticated looking office workers...
or teachers, academics, technicians, medical, etc...
whatever your tastes...

there will be some English speakers, but most are only gonna ponimat russki...

if you make eye contact, ya gotta let out a big grin and be ready with a self deprecating joke
while maintaining the smile...

then let her steer the conversation into something SHE wants to talk about...

then...
after a minute of conversation, shift away from her for a bit, and see if she moves with you in response....

if she does, then you INVITE her to lunch or dinner to continue the conversation...
100% sheíll go...

the THING ya really gotta watch out for is not get played by scammers
OR, get played by a woman who wants you to marry her and you fall for her plans...

believe me, I am a guy who totally got the ďdeer caught in the headlightsĒ feeling SEVERAL TIMES from when a Ukrainian or Russian woman set her sights on me...

they can turn the seduction on full blast, and ANY straight man will be quivering jelly...
the submissive downcast look, always lightly touching you, always trying to feed you, always mothering you, making sure youíre warm, etc...
this is how they slowly seduce you...
and then of course ďitís banya timeĒ
and then you find out, youíre gonna get naked with her!

note to Trench: remember clean underwear!!!!
as a country gentleman, I have a Russian woman that I took from Ukraine do all this for me!!!!
but I know youíre likely responsible for your own undergarments, so do not overlook this issue in Ukraine or in jolly old England either!!!


« Last Edit: November 15, 2019, 08:13:32 PM by krimster2 »

Online msmob

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #67 on: November 16, 2019, 01:19:28 AM »
Jone -- as far as Ukraine is concerned  the law was changed last year ( 2018 -maybe 2017 ? time flies)  in relation to mothers & childrens rights -- and  it is now easier to get a more common sense legal ruling .Amongst changes in the actual law-- the process was simplified too.
Not a guarantee but not the close to impossible hurdle presented in earlier times -and still does in Russia.

I wonder if our Jay could refrain from posting what appears to be highly misleading info?


One no longer requires the permission of both parents to travel with one parent abroad, in Russia.


"Travelling outside the Russian Federation with a child
If a child is travelling with one of their parents, the consent of the other parent is not required."

http://www.svo.aero/en/passengers/passengers-with-children



How do I know this?

One of my Russian biz partners came to the UK with his then 16 year old son.

He DID get a notorised letter to permit his kids to fly with their Ma to visit the in-laws in Israel..

We were in Tbilisi and paid 4 USD as wifey was leaving within hours of his return and there was no time to get the letter notorised in RU.

I cannot say if this is an Israeli requirement but Jay's 'advice' is surely incorrect.



« Last Edit: November 16, 2019, 01:25:52 AM by msmob »
No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Offline JayH

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #68 on: November 16, 2019, 05:13:04 AM »
 :barf: :barf:
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Online msmob

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #69 on: November 16, 2019, 07:39:58 AM »
Your ,graceful apology'...for YET AGAIN..spouting misleading nonsense is noted, JayH.

No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Offline SteveInBoston

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #70 on: November 16, 2019, 08:41:13 AM »
Misleading.

First, the child would need an international passport, which requires the involvement of both parents to acquire, I believe.

Second, that site svo-aero, also states that one parent can notify the ministry of internal affairs to prevent the child from travelling.

Third, a 16 yr old is not considered a child and has more rights, including getting a passport on their own.

Offline BoozeBaron

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #71 on: November 18, 2019, 07:59:00 PM »
Glad you are the road to recovery - but think that even though you are adverse to heat - do you need ( possibly) freezing cold and thoroughly wrapped up ladies ;) ?

Why not  try out dating sites / apps and see what happens..




Holy cow! This really took off since I last logged on and penned all my woes and thoughts -I've still got another page of responses  to read yet - but wanted to thank everyone (thus far) whose chipped in with their 2 cents - I do like the Holidays over there and do like the cooler weather (cold!)  so that too is in my thinking - but 2-3 weeks on a Cruise ship too can't be all that bad for about the same cost - TBD as I've been kinda down (healthwise - not in the head) this week - hence the delay getting back to you all... Let me get caught up with the 3rd page here and see if someone's torched me for being an idiot or the likes then will try to reply best I can to all that have contributed (15 years here and still don't know how to do that reply many - multiple recipients thing still) sorry - Cheers! BB
I'm American born, but work in London, Prague, and NZ... Currently back in the USA

Offline BoozeBaron

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #72 on: November 18, 2019, 08:09:48 PM »
How old are you BB?

Be realistic about what you offer a younger woman. If you are over 60 can you support a woman in her 30s with a child? How attractive a girl are you looking for and how attractive are you? Remember age takes a toll on all of us.

I think Fdating is a good site for you to start with, it's a free site so no subscription axe to grind from the owners of the site. Avoid scammers as per usual, anyone trying to get you over to a PPL site or asking for money. On Fdate you will tend to find the girls come up occasionally but not too frequently like you've just become a pop star, good luck! :)

Thanks Trechcoat - I haven't been on Fdate in AGES - but have added it to the list of ones I think are sound and solid to use... so will give it another go? - In thinking back, my 'issue' back then was I was like 38-42 and looking for a 30-something with a set of parameters that work best for me given my life here in America now (been traveling the world the past 2 decades, finally medical reasons stopped all that) so sold everything abroad, packed up and here I be.... But point was, most replies were 50+ and not exactly my type... Plus 'free' sites, you get like 1000 guys per ever 1 good gal - so all the 'great' ones are inundated with guys that can offer more than me at this age (something I've had to accept too - but we all do I suppose) - Anyway, just turned the speed limit (double nickle)- but look 5-10 yrs younger - Most of my US friends are 30-45 yrs old and ppl are always shocked to find out my age - but remember, I had this conversation (both with myself, and here online with I hit 50) as that's kinda the highest any agency or site wants to deal with - I actually got a rejection letter from Morrisey's Morrisons? (sp?) the one in S. Russian border right on the UA/RU boarder and Black Sea?? (the town is escaping me atm - but the gal I was interested in was from Feodosyia and they showed me the door - and that was 5 yrs ago - so can only imagine what'll it be like 'this time'... Just wanted to answer your Q's - plus I've been doing this off and on back when you needed a Visa to get into UA and done probably 25+ trips now into eastern Europe... so def not my 1st rodeo - but been sidelined with a broken heart (2013) I'm a little slower to get back up on this horse again - hope that makes some sense? Cheers - BB
« Last Edit: November 18, 2019, 08:15:32 PM by BoozeBaron »
I'm American born, but work in London, Prague, and NZ... Currently back in the USA

Offline BoozeBaron

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #73 on: November 18, 2019, 08:18:05 PM »
BB --I was reading back over thread and your comments --  and had a thought--    some years ago ( quite a few in fact!)     an expensive black NZ registered car finished up in a canal on the Gold Coast - know anything about that? :)
Can I plea the 5th?? lol - It was gold - not black - and to to the best of my knowledge, is still on the road today? so many we have our wires/stories crossed? DM me if interested .. Cheers
I'm American born, but work in London, Prague, and NZ... Currently back in the USA

Offline BoozeBaron

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Re: Starting Over in 2018
« Reply #74 on: November 18, 2019, 08:21:54 PM »
I think you may have been watching too many old Kung Fu (David Carradine) episodes  , Grasshopper...

Your 'theories' have been working out SO well, for you))

YOU all won't mind if I steer clear of this one (PLEASE?) LOL - Sounds like some history here and not sure I know either of you over the past 2 decades -so gonna move on if that's okay... THANKS (Quick Hello to BillyB whilst I'm here - THANKS for the tips and encouragement) good to hear from ya! :))
I'm American born, but work in London, Prague, and NZ... Currently back in the USA

 

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