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Author Topic: Good looks  (Read 3068 times)

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Offline Newuser

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Good looks
« on: October 16, 2018, 09:44:59 AM »
I am interested in meeting some Ukrainian women. I am just wondering do you have to be good looking to start meeting women from the FSU? I can speak Ukrainian and Russian decently. Just wondering how though it is to start meeting girls?

Online Nightwish

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2018, 10:07:29 AM »
Like anywhere else in the world. These are WOMEN and function like WOMEN do everywhere more or less.

They do however have a different culture compared to West.
They do however - in my opinion - generally looks better than the average western woman.
They do however - in my opinion - value family and finding love much more over a career then the average western woman

There is no magical female population out there who loves lepricons -  in any country. (excluded Mobys gf then  ;D)

so if you are buttugly at your own country, you will be as buttugly in Ukraine. :)
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline ML

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2018, 10:10:16 AM »
I have heard a few times that FSU women have a saying:

"The man must only look a little bit better than a monkey."

I just barely met that criteria; so was able to meet with many FSU women in the 6 to 8.5 range, face wise.  Body wise, they were 8 to 9.5.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Offline Newuser

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2018, 10:13:42 AM »
I am deffinately not buttugly.  I would say I am average based on what people have told me. Do average guys have difficulties attracting FSU women?

Offline Newuser

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2018, 10:21:00 AM »
That was pretty funny ML. Thanks for responding

Online Nightwish

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2018, 12:06:20 PM »
I am deffinately not buttugly.  I would say I am average based on what people have told me. Do average guys have difficulties attracting FSU women?

Probably not, if you are a descent man, can dress descent, act decent and all and all being a "normal" man.
Ukraine is a big sea with plenty of women ready to meet the man of her life in all ages and stages of life.
So depending on what you are looking for, you will have different chances and outcomes.
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline JayH

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2018, 02:51:33 PM »
Probably not, if you are a descent man, can dress descent, act decent and all and all being a "normal" man.


Add --  and you are NOT Trenchcoat ---  and/or a TC !! :deadhorse: :)
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Newuser

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2018, 03:07:42 PM »
Add --  and you are NOT Trenchcoat ---  and/or a TC !! :deadhorse: :)

What’s a TC?

Online Nightwish

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2018, 03:21:08 PM »
Add --  and you are NOT Trenchcoat ---  and/or a TC !! :deadhorse: :)

I did say normal  :)
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Online DaveNY

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2018, 03:30:57 PM »
If you want to meet Russian women in Russia, learn Russian before going to Russia or take Russian language lessons in Russia. Moscow State University in Moscow offers CE courses in Russian and has students from all over the world. Your future wife could be German or Swedish or French, etc.

Most RW do not speak English or German or another language well enough to carry on an extended conversation, unless it's one of the languages local to the FSU.

IMO, a RW going to give preference to a foreign man who can speak Russian. As for looks a number of RW have said to me, 'I don't want my future husband to be too good looking because then other women will want him.'

Offline JayH

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2018, 03:45:22 PM »
What’s a TC?

Trenchcoat = social misfit

How is it that you speak Ukrainian   & Russian?
What age are you ?
If you give a little more info on yourself and circumstances -the forum will give more tailored "advice" !
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Newuser

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2018, 03:58:43 PM »
Trenchcoat = social misfit

How is it that you speak Ukrainian   & Russian?
What age are you ?
If you give a little more info on yourself and circumstances -the forum will give more tailored "advice" !

I am actually Ukrainian that why I am really interested in Ukrainian girls. I am currently 28 so still somewhat young but from what I hear women get married there in their 20’s. I am actually traveling there for a wedding this November, so I’ll deffinately try to meet some girls

Offline ML

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2018, 07:37:37 PM »
If you want to meet Russian women in Russia, learn Russian before going to Russia or take Russian language lessons in Russia. Moscow State University in Moscow offers CE courses in Russian and has students from all over the world. Your future wife could be German or Swedish or French, etc.

Most RW do not speak English or German or another language well enough to carry on an extended conversation, unless it's one of the languages local to the FSU.

IMO, a RW going to give preference to a foreign man who can speak Russian. As for looks a number of RW have said to me, 'I don't want my future husband to be too good looking because then other women will want him.'

Dave, this man can already speak the language, so your advice does him no harm.

However, in general, your advice does great harm to most of the men who are contemplating this venture.

The USA man does not need to speak any Ukrainian or Russian ever !!!!

Spending time learning Ukrainian or Russian is a complete waste of time, especially so considering the 'opportunity cost' involved.  i.e. The income earning opportunity given up to pursue the waste of time.

If the man has spare time, it is best used in increasing his ability to increase his income.
Get an advanced degree, learn new computer skills, etc., etc.

Some of the biggest problems are with FSU wives here in USA who do not adapt quickly enough to English.  And one major contributor to this is:  a husband who speaks enough of their native language to allow the couple to communicate.

If you really want to screw up the FSU wife royally . . . ensure that she meets a lot of FSU speaking friends, that she has the Russian TV channels, etc.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online BillyB

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2018, 09:05:37 PM »
I am interested in meeting some Ukrainian women. I am just wondering do you have to be good looking to start meeting women from the FSU? I can speak Ukrainian and Russian decently. Just wondering how though it is to start meeting girls?

Welcome Newuser. Since you're Ukrainian and speak the language, have you asked this question to the Ukrainians that you interact with? Don't worry about how you look. Some women will find you attractive and some will find you ugly. Stick with the girls that find you attractive. Also keep in mind the sexiest part of your body is your brain. You can't improve much on how you look but you can greatly improve on what's in your head.

Online DaveNY

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #14 on: October 16, 2018, 09:37:23 PM »
Dave, this man can already speak the language, so your advice does him no harm.

However, in general, your advice does great harm to most of the men who are contemplating this venture.

The USA man does not need to speak any Ukrainian or Russian ever !!!!

Spending time learning Ukrainian or Russian is a complete waste of time, especially so considering the 'opportunity cost' involved.  i.e. The income earning opportunity given up to pursue the waste of time.

If the man has spare time, it is best used in increasing his ability to increase his income.
Get an advanced degree, learn new computer skills, etc., etc.

Some of the biggest problems are with FSU wives here in USA who do not adapt quickly enough to English.  And one major contributor to this is:  a husband who speaks enough of their native language to allow the couple to communicate.

If you really want to screw up the FSU wife royally . . . ensure that she meets a lot of FSU speaking friends, that she has the Russian TV channels, etc.

ML I just scanned his initial post and missed the part about his speaking Russian and Ukrainian. Of course this brings up the question if he speaks these two languages he should know something of the culture. I assume he speaks the languages because his family is from that part of the world.

As for my other comments about learning her language we'll have to agree to disagree. My wife spoke very good English when I first meet her, good enough that she earned extra money working as a host and unofficial translator in Moscow. Yet I still worked to learn Russian.

In NYC, I know a number of couples from different parts of the world, not just the FSU. I know more than a few wives who wished her husband understood her language better. Knowing her language, IMO, is knowing her culture. I don't know any wife who's ever said she wished her husband didn't speak her language.

If the husband needs to work all the time and literally doesn't have the time and money to learn her language I can understand that. However, if he can afford the time and money to learn her language, IMO he should learn her language.

My wife and I celebrated our 18th anniversary recently and as I've mentioned before we tend to speak more Russian than English at home yet I knew no Russian when we got married.

As for your other comment about a FSU wife meeting others from the FSU, again we'll have to agree to disagree. NYC is home to lots of people from the FSU. We've met quite a few FSU expats living in NYC. Over the years we've attended numerous social events in the FSU community. Some of our best friends are couples of FSUW and American men. No problems.

None of the women trying to talk my wife into divorcing me and fleecing me in the divorce. I didn't even insist on a prenup before getting married so I would have been a good target. We also have the Russian TV channels.   


Offline GQBlues

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2018, 10:25:30 PM »
I am interested in meeting some Ukrainian women. I am just wondering do you have to be good looking to start meeting women from the FSU? I can speak Ukrainian and Russian decently. Just wondering how though it is to start meeting girls?

Maybe it’s just me, but this strikes me as an odd question. Is it tough for you to meet women where you live?

Anyway, my opinion had always been that attitude and confidence matters a helluva more than looks.
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Online Maxx2

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2018, 10:54:06 PM »
I am deffinately not buttugly.  I would say I am average based on what people have told me. Do average guys have difficulties attracting FSU women?


Not if your passport has a blue cover.

Online msmob

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #17 on: October 17, 2018, 02:13:42 AM »

However, in general, your advice does great harm to most of the men who are contemplating this venture.

The USA man does not need to speak any Ukrainian or Russian ever !!!!

Spending time learning Ukrainian or Russian is a complete waste of time, especially so considering the 'opportunity cost' involved.  i.e. The income earning opportunity given up to pursue the waste of time.

If the man has spare time, it is best used in increasing his ability to increase his income.
Get an advanced degree, learn new computer skills, etc., etc.

Some of the biggest problems are with FSU wives here in USA who do not adapt quickly enough to English.  And one major contributor to this is:  a husband who speaks enough of their native language to allow the couple to communicate.

If you really want to screw up the FSU wife royally . . . ensure that she meets a lot of FSU speaking friends, that she has the Russian TV channels, etc.

ML

As long as you point this - IMO - seriously incorrect info - expect it to be challenged

I've lived in foreign nations for up to eight years at a time and I had UK TV  and occasionally HAD to speak in my native tongue with MY people.

 If your FSU partner has moved from her home nation for you - the least you can do is give her something from 'home'

It is only fair for them to seek out those that have been before

Sure, they may hear some things that you might not agree with - but surely that's for her to filter ?

There's nothing better than being able to converse with her friends relatives ...but then how often have you gone back to Ukraine ? .....

I'd NEVER have found / let alone stood a chance with SC - if I hadn't been able to speak some Russian




Offline GQBlues

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #18 on: October 17, 2018, 09:36:29 AM »
FWIW, my opinion on this matter coincides with ML's. Even my wife tells she's more flustered when she hangs out with her FSUW group than when she's around her 'American' ones. There're far less snipping and gossips and the likes...

For language, there's really not an argument that if a WM spends a great deal of time in any country, it'll behoove him (or her) to learn the lingo. It'd be silly not to. Just as it would be for a FSUW coming to the west. Trying to learn and speak Russian, just because you married a Russian woman, and who now resides in your English-speaking country will only prove a detriment to your wife's language progression AND acclimation. My wife admits to this reality.

I certainly do not expect, much less would like for her to, learn 'my' language/s to communicate with me. English is spoken here where we are. That's plenty enough and very beneficial for us both.

There are Spanish speaking folks living in the US that had been here for decades and can still barely speak English because they immerse themselves in Spanish, and isolate themselves deep in segregated Spanish communities. Heck, in many respects, even black folks' speech, verbal and written language in the US is directly affected by their surrounding. Of those who integrate from those who segregate.

Of the group of MOB pairing we knew (WM / FSUW) - all of them, except us and a Russian couple originally here on a H1-B visa (now legal residents), are all divorced.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2018, 10:15:20 AM by GQBlues »
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Offline ML

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #19 on: October 17, 2018, 11:31:35 AM »
A couple of you missed the reasoning for the points GQ and I made.

We are not thinking it is best that our FSU wives stay away from other FSUW because we fear they may hear bad things about WM or that they may learn of ways to divorce us, etc.

It is that we know that the more they speak their native tongues, the longer it will take them to acclimate to their new country.

Same goes for watching TV channels broadcast in their native tongues.

But no one should think that GQ or I are in any way forcing or bullying our wives in this regard.  They have been intelligent and sensible enough to figure this out on their own and; as a result, have been very successful professionally and personally in the USA.

Also, learning a language to learn about a country is hogwash and is about the least efficient method possible. 

I know more about Russian/Ukrainian history, geography, natural resources, businesses, politics, etc., than do many Russian/Ukrainian natives.  Even as I know virtually zero of those languages.

Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #20 on: October 17, 2018, 12:13:41 PM »
A couple of you missed the reasoning for the points GQ and I made.

We are not thinking it is best that our FSU wives stay away from other FSUW because we fear they may hear bad things about WM or that they may learn of ways to divorce us, etc.

It is that we know that the more they speak their native tongues, the longer it will take them to acclimate to their new country.

My wife spoke English before I met her and had been to the US in the mid 90s long before I met her. Ironically, after we were married and living in Moscow she was denied a visa to visit the US.

Same goes for watching TV channels broadcast in their native tongues.

Watching Russian TV worked great for helping to teach me Russian and also for helping my daughters learn Russian. Since we visit Russia on a fairly regular basis it's also an easy way to keep up with what's happening in Russia. Far easier than listening to CNN or other western broadcasts.

Also, learning a language to learn about a country is hogwash and is about the least efficient method possible. 

I know more about Russian/Ukrainian history, geography, natural resources, businesses, politics, etc., than do many Russian/Ukrainian natives.  Even as I know virtually zero of those languages.

You're probably the exception then. I lived in Russia for 6 years and I doubt I knew more about these subjects than most educated Russians. Since you are getting your news of the FSU from, presumably, English language sources there's going to be a possible bias over coverage of FSU business, politics, etc that will be different from that of a Russian language broadcast.

When I was learning Russian at MSU all the Russian language classes had a cultural component. In high school when I was a student, a very long time ago, learning Spanish, there were always cultural components to the Spanish lessons. Today my daughters are learning Spanish and their lessons also have cultural components. I always been told that culture and language go hand in hand. You can't understand one without understanding the other.


Offline ML

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #21 on: October 17, 2018, 12:36:53 PM »
My wife spoke very good English when I first meet her, good enough that she earned extra money working as a host and unofficial translator in Moscow.

Dave, this is why your advice is not helpful to 'most' of the men in this pursuit.

Since your wife was proficient in English, you could have the luxury of learning Russian and not at all hinder your wife's acclimation to USA.

But for 'most' other couples, the FSU wife is not proficient, and thus the man learning her language will hinder her acclimation to USA.

You must move beyond the situation of rare individuals, to avoid giving misleading advice to the general situation.

Likewise, Moby's advice is misleading because he IS LIVING in the woman's country.  So learning that language is a good idea.

Advice giving by those in special circumstances is very misleading for the masses.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2018, 12:41:09 PM by ML »
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #22 on: October 17, 2018, 02:46:21 PM »
Dave, this is why your advice is not helpful to 'most' of the men in this pursuit.

Since your wife was proficient in English, you could have the luxury of learning Russian and not at all hinder your wife's acclimation to USA.

But for 'most' other couples, the FSU wife is not proficient, and thus the man learning her language will hinder her acclimation to USA.

You must move beyond the situation of rare individuals, to avoid giving misleading advice to the general situation.

Likewise, Moby's advice is misleading because he IS LIVING in the woman's country.  So learning that language is a good idea.

Advice giving by those in special circumstances is very misleading for the masses.

ML, you realize that most westerners living in a Russian city such as Moscow listen to TV and radio broadcasts in their own language all the time. They browse the Internet in their own language all the time. They speak to other expats in their own language. Western expats dine out at western restaurants in Moscow. If the restaurants have TVs, CNN or BBC English language programs will likely be on. Is this true of all western expats in Moscow? Of course not but it certainly is true of a large percentage.

Yet you're saying if a Russian woman moves to the US she shouldn't do these things because it slows her integration into an American lifestyle? Are you saying westerners are special and deserve special consideration when living in foreign countries? Are you saying FSUW aren't capable of living an American lifestyle unless they go totally native and forget their FSU roots?

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #23 on: October 17, 2018, 08:34:34 PM »
ML, you realize that most westerners living in a Russian city such as Moscow listen to TV and radio broadcasts in their own language all the time. They browse the Internet in their own language all the time. They speak to other expats in their own language. Western expats dine out at western restaurants in Moscow. If the restaurants have TVs, CNN or BBC English language programs will likely be on. Is this true of all western expats in Moscow? Of course not but it certainly is true of a large percentage.

Yet you're saying if a Russian woman moves to the US she shouldn't do these things because it slows her integration into an American lifestyle? Are you saying westerners are special and deserve special consideration when living in foreign countries? Are you saying FSUW aren't capable of living an American lifestyle unless they go totally native and forget their FSU roots?

That is a flawed argument.  Western expats have the means to live abroad and have the luxury to acclimate themselves to the culture/language, or not.  They have the option to move back home if the situation is not to their liking.

A FSUW bride/wife, on the other hand, will be handicapped if she only sticks to her own language.  The option for her, if she does not acclimate to the American lifestyle, is to move back to FSU?  How will that help the average Joe?

Also, NYC is totally different than, let's say, El Paso, Atlanta or Kansas City, let alone Topeka or Toledo or any of the other smaller cities.   There may be a small FSU community there, but it will not help her deal with the other aspects of life in those cities. 

Do you expect an FSU wife, with poor English skills, to navigate traffic, shopping, daily interactions and perhaps a job, and not learn English or learn it at a glacial pace?  Or have the husband, after working his normal job, babysit her as her full time translator?

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Re: Good looks
« Reply #24 on: October 17, 2018, 09:14:02 PM »
That is a flawed argument.  Western expats have the means to live abroad and have the luxury to acclimate themselves to the culture/language, or not.  They have the option to move back home if the situation is not to their liking.

A FSUW bride/wife, on the other hand, will be handicapped if she only sticks to her own language. 

I never said a FSUW new to the US should stick to her native language, in fact if you've read my posts, and you should IMO they're genius, I've repeatedly said any legal or illegal resident of the US should learn English. Learning English will help increase your chances of employment and enhance your life in the US. Like it or not English is the language of business, politics and life in the US. 

The option for her, if she does not acclimate to the American lifestyle, is to move back to FSU?  How will that help the average Joe?

Unless the FSUW bride is totally alone, no family, no friends, her American husband is going to have to deal with her family and friends. My wife has no family left and yet she's always talking to friends in Moscow by email, messaging, phone, etc. The reality is a FSUW new to the US is going to speak her language in her new home in the US simply by talking with family and friends back home. It will be natural for her to find stores, businesses and people that deal with her needs, some in her native language.   

Then of course the AM is going to have to deal with visits back to her country. We've been to Russia a number of times. The AM will enjoy the trip more if he understands some of the language.

Also, NYC is totally different than, let's say, El Paso, Atlanta or Kansas City, let alone Topeka or Toledo or any of the other smaller cities.   There may be a small FSU community there, but it will not help her deal with the other aspects of life in those cities. 

True there probably isn't a large FSU community in the cities you mentioned. However, there's still the Internet. She can order food, clothes, etc off of Internet sites in the US and the FSU and have it delivered to her home. Again remember I'm not saying she shouldn't learn English, I'm saying just the opposite.

 
Do you expect an FSU wife, with poor English skills, to navigate traffic, shopping, daily interactions and perhaps a job, and not learn English or learn it at a glacial pace?  Or have the husband, after working his normal job, babysit her as her full time translator?

Many residents in the US do exactly as you stated. They go through life in the US with little to no English language skills. Lots of illegals in the US who have limited English language skills. IMO that's wrong. They should learn English.

I just don't see any reason to not speak your own language with people you meet who speak the same language. I see no reason why a FSUW shouldn't actively seek out groups from her home country. When my wife first moved to the US even though her English was very good and she was used to speaking English for extended periods of time she got tired of hearing nothing but English 24/7.

She needed to hear Russian just to give her mind a rest. For us I think that's when we began speaking more Russian at home and why now we tend to speak more Russian at home than English. This isn't unusual I know of a number of couples from different cultures who end up speaking more of her language at home, assuming the husband speaks her language. 

If an AM wants to restrict his FSU wife from speaking her language and restrict her from meeting other FSU people in the US then IMO there's something wrong with the AM.

 

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