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Author Topic: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages  (Read 968 times)

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Offline ML

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Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« on: October 17, 2018, 12:14:48 PM »
Of the group of MOB pairing we knew (WM / FSUW) - all of them, except us and a Russian couple originally here on a H1-B visa (now legal residents), are all divorced.

Is it possible that this high divorce rate actually has very little to do with fact that WM/FSUW are the subjects ?

I am guessing that 'most' such marriages are the second or more for the couples.

Statistics show that in the U.S., 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.

Here is a very good read on the reasons for higher failure rates for second, third, etc., marriages.

http://www.wevorce.com/blog/why-do-second-marriages-fail/
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2018, 02:14:01 PM »
Our subset is a very small sampling, so tough to make a projection to the whole if this is indicative of WM/FSUW or just marriages as a whole.

Each of the couples mostly have differing reasons why their respective marriages failed. I won't be too quick to lump it as the difference in culture either as one of the couples are both Russians, albeit the guy grew up in the US but speaks Russian, and his family are deep in Russian cultural ways. One other couple was actually an American (he) and the ex-wife is Swedish.

My suspicion is that it largely has to do in coping with the rigors of 'importing' your wife unto your society and all the responsibilities that comes along with it: Money, patience, understanding, empathy, time, more patience, some more money, etc..
« Last Edit: October 17, 2018, 02:17:19 PM by GQBlues »
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Online tfcrew

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2018, 04:36:35 PM »
From the article...
Quote
once a person discovers that he or she can manage a divorce, they are less scared of going through the process again.
That is a very broad statement :rolleyes:

Online Davo2

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2018, 08:29:32 PM »
On a similar subject..... Does this statement seem correct ?

The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) reports that “…marriages arranged through [mail order bride] services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.” The USCIS also reports that “… mail-order bride and e-mail correspondence services result in 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides each year.”

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2018, 09:38:12 PM »
Davo-

FSU mob is probably one of the smallest set of these marriages. I would even hazard a guess there’s just as many, if not more today, of ex-pats marrying FSUWs than AM.

But the larger set are from China and the Philippines and other Asian region, India, Vietnam, Thailand...then of course there’s South America.

As for marriages lasting longer, USCIS have no way of keeping that record after the alien gets their citizenship.

My wonderful rebuttal to the Prague Spring thread is now *relocated* again (being actively hidden, lol) in *Anything Goes* section, titled: Willy Waving. Hurry before she deletes it altogether. LMAO! Enjoy.

Online BillyB

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2018, 11:28:52 PM »
Statistics show that in the U.S., 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.


Usually in a divorce, one or both partners are flawed. When they marry a second or third time, it doesn't change the fact they are flawed. Flawed people have a high chance of divorce.

When we get married the second time around, the single people we target tend to have been divorced themselves. Two divorcees increases the chances at least one of the two are flawed.

Online msmob

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2018, 03:25:25 AM »
Does anyone understand the point BillyB is trying to make - if there is one ?


Are you saying a flawed person might chase an immature woman who couldn't have been married before - given her age -  in the hope any flaws were not noted ?

Online Maxx2

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2018, 04:55:23 AM »



I was flawed. I was very naive when getting remarried to my second wife. What I did have was excellent divorce experience in getting out of a train wreck marriage.  :trainwreck:   Money is a big issue in divorce, I paid almost nothing. However my emotional suffering was the issue. I took it far, far too hard. I've had a few breakups recently with UW with no suffering at all. What I got to do now is to make sure to find the right woman (of course). And have myself ready for her. I found that out in my recent involvements. With the diabetes and being overweight I just didn't have the energy to do the tourist things and the day to day activists like shopping. I got along with them well enough. I also learned things to watch out for in selecting a woman.


The reason I sound like a young man fresh out of high school is I kind of am. I grew up in a sheltering religion (think Amish/Mormon, but not those). I got married at 19. I worked mostly alone. My friends were from that religion. And I was married for 29 years. So it all came to together to make me rather unsophisticated in regards to women. 


I know this guy. I know him very well. I have sat in his living room many times and at his dinner table. I used to rent from him. He was married to a Ukrainian woman, before that to a Belorussian woman. Before that, to 3 American women. So divorced 5 times. Last time I heard he is hot on getting a 20 something Filipina. After knowing him about 12 years I finally defriended him. The guys was strongly passive aggressive. He could be so nice one moment then snap cut you to the quick, next. His son after breaking up with girlfriend, and taking it very hard, decided to disappear. He knew his father would say cutting things to him. So this is a guy I would consider flawed. Me? No, I'm just stumbling around trying to figure things out like most of us. 

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2018, 05:07:59 AM »
On a similar subject..... Does this statement seem correct ?

The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) reports that “…marriages arranged through [mail order bride] services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.” The USCIS also reports that “… mail-order bride and e-mail correspondence services result in 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides each year.”


If that is true it is really scary. I seen a news story with a man I know. A retired I.C.E. agent name John Sampson. He and the people he is working with did a F.O.I.A. request to the USCIS for the stats on how many immigrant women and men filed abuse petitions of their American spouses. In the last 10 years over 84 thousand have. An immigration attorney that used to post here (He died some years back, Livingston?) tell me that his and his fellow immigration attorneys believe a marriage ending before the 2 years are up there is a 90% probability she/he will make the claim of abuse.


Usually I don't make such a post. The reason why is because they never get commented on. So why waist my time? It is a subject people don't want to discuss.

Offline ML

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2018, 06:51:32 AM »
I don't think people who get divorced are any more flawed than people who do not get divorced.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online Maxx2

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2018, 07:39:33 AM »
I don't think people who get divorced are any more flawed than people who do not get divorced.


I believe that also. I've seen some pretty messed people that have never been divorced.

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #11 on: October 18, 2018, 09:45:14 AM »
As for marriages/divorce, I used to be resigned to the notion that humans are just not wired to stay with one partner in its lifetime. Few hot-blooded creatures do, but didn't believe we were one of them. Believe it or not, this is more true with women than it is for men, IME. In all walks of life.

Back in the days, there will always be a discussion regarding RMs and their propensity to stray and harness mistresses. This is one of the silly reasons FSUWs gave for searching for a hubby outside their borders. During my search, I'd say roughly about 90% of the women I contacted gave me this reason why they're in the MOB. This reason is as silly as telling you in their profile they do not smoke. Or WMs are searching in the FSU because women at home are fat...

Always remember, for every cheating man, there's always a woman beneath him.

I think this reality is greatly attributable to the high number of divorces as much, if not more, than anything else.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2018, 10:08:09 AM by GQBlues »
My wonderful rebuttal to the Prague Spring thread is now *relocated* again (being actively hidden, lol) in *Anything Goes* section, titled: Willy Waving. Hurry before she deletes it altogether. LMAO! Enjoy.

Offline BdHvA

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2018, 03:55:37 PM »
“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” ~ O. Wilde  
Experierence is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. A. Huxley

Online BillyB

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Re: Why high divorce rate for second, third, etc., marriages
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2018, 07:41:28 PM »
I don't think people who get divorced are any more flawed than people who do not get divorced.

The more flaws a person has, the greater the chance everybody wants to get away from that person including their spouse. People can put up with a little imperfection from their spouse and stay married but if there's too many issues to deal with, they aren't going to want to deal with it for a lifetime.

 

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