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Author Topic: How to Visit Many without lying?  (Read 9657 times)

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Online Donna_Pedro

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #175 on: November 08, 2018, 02:16:44 PM »


Letís say girl A and girl B are a tie.  I base this ďscoringĒ off of incomplete information because I havenít met them yet.  Letís say I flip a coin and go with girl A.  When I take her out to eat, she is a hot mess.  She has no table manners, is rude to the waiter, etc.  If I had access to this information previously, girl B would have been the clear winner all along.  After dating girl A, girl B is now my first choice. She would have been my first choice from the beginning if I had more complete information.  Why should I start from scratch if I already found a girl I think would be great for me?


this looks exactly like the way we were buying my car last year. At first we looked online. These used caes dealerships have great pictures. So we look at the pictures and make a list. Then Mr. Pedro  asks me  to go and test-drive some of them.. and when I come back with a short list of cars, he goes himself, lifts  hoods,  looks at this or that  and takes final desision. A lot of times the best deal is already bought by someone else and I have to go  with the second best. By that time I am usually so tired of looking at cars and prefer to get something rather than start over again.
Kaplah!

Online msmob

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #176 on: November 08, 2018, 02:26:19 PM »
How to Visit Many without lying?

I must surely be clear, now

Just don't DO it ! ;)

There is LOADS of due diligence you can both do using video chat ... 


@Donna_Pedro

"tlhIngan Hol Dajatlhíaí?"




Online Donna_Pedro

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #177 on: November 08, 2018, 02:33:28 PM »
How to Visit Many without lying?


@Donna_Pedro

"tlhIngan Hol Dajatlhíaí?"

HIja'. loQ vIjatlhlaH
Kaplah!

Online msmob

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learning Klingon ..
« Reply #178 on: November 08, 2018, 02:45:59 PM »
Dun wIqelDI', maHeDnIS

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #179 on: November 08, 2018, 07:34:52 PM »
We had someone abruptly end a K1 Visa process post here recently. He seemed like a nice guy . On his last trip out, things didn't go as well as he expected. The lady he met had already planned to leave after her approved interview and even lost her job because she thought she was going to the USA . He felt like garbage, but continuing would be worse. I agree, but I do believe he had good intentions from the beginning

I mention this because you are coming across as someone that wants to put another notch in your belt. I hope I am wrong.  I also hope you don't take the visa process lightly, and leave yourself an out if you get 'bored' or meet other women. Remember, these women are real people

I appreciate your concern, but I can assure you I donít want to put another notch in my belt.  Do you know how hard it is to explain why I have gone through two divorces? I donít want to have to explain three divorces in a few years!

I am about 90% sure Iím going to cut communication with this younger, innocent girl at this point.  I donít want to hurt her and I donít want to break her heart.  I would rather end it now before she makes plans and screws up her life.  I understand this is very real and the stakes are high.  I am trying to be honest with myself and think that deep inside, she is my (very close) second choice. Keeping her around is bad for everyone.

Now as far as the other girl goes... Iím afraid she will break MY heart. She is kind, sweet, smart, and extremely gorgeous.  She may be toying with me, but I am definitely not toying with her.

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #180 on: November 08, 2018, 07:50:58 PM »
There is a very simple way to visit many without lying.

Take many trips, visiting one girl each trip.

Offline ML

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #181 on: November 08, 2018, 08:17:51 PM »
There is a very simple way to visit many without lying.

Take many trips, visiting one girl each trip.

Smart move. 
Fly into your target city and visit one. 
Fly out to nearest city, and then fly back into your target city. 
Repeat this each time.
If you find that is too costly, then just go to the airport, wait around a while, and then back into town.
After a while you might realize you could just think about going to airport while actually having a coffee.
Winston Churchill.  ďThe best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.Ē

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #182 on: November 08, 2018, 09:21:33 PM »

After a while you might realize you could just think about going to airport while actually having a coffee.

Thatís Brilliant!
 Write Many, Visit One, Have Coffee, Visit One, Have Coffee, Visit one....

WMVOHCVOHCVO.....

What if I get tired of drinking coffee? Can I just book back to back dates and think about coffee in the taxi?

Online rwd123

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #183 on: November 08, 2018, 09:47:58 PM »
It's not brilliant as it implicitly goes against the advice being sought - to be honest ("without lying").

Offline ML

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #184 on: November 09, 2018, 02:28:30 PM »
It's not brilliant as it implicitly goes against the advice being sought - to be honest ("without lying").

It is brilliant in that it shows in stark reality the stupidity of thinking that WOVO is morally superior.

My example shows exactly that one can be truthful that they are only there to visit the one gal on that trip.
It's just that there will be several trips which can be compressed as much is time intervals as the guy wants.
It can eventually lead to the situation available to any local guy.
i.e. He doesn't have to leave town and come back in just to be able to date a second, third, etc., gal.

Think about the stupidity wherein a local gal that you may date will ask you if she is the only gal you plan to date within X time period.  Really beyond belief right ?
Now, would it be OK for the gal to ask this same question if she lived in an adjoining subdivision?
Just how far away must the second gal be before she can ask the question?  Next city, county, next state, country, continent ??
Where is the cutoff?
Winston Churchill.  ďThe best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.Ē

Online 2tallbill

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How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #185 on: November 09, 2018, 09:31:50 PM »
It is brilliant in that it shows in stark reality the stupidity of thinking that WOVO is morally superior.

My example shows exactly that one can be truthful that they are only there to visit the one gal on that trip.
It's just that there will be several trips which can be compressed as much is time intervals as the guy wants.
It can eventually lead to the situation available to any local guy.
i.e. He doesn't have to leave town and come back in just to be able to date a second, third, etc., gal.

Think about the stupidity wherein a local gal that you may date will ask you if she is the only gal you plan to date within X time period.  Really beyond belief right ?
Now, would it be OK for the gal to ask this same question if she lived in an adjoining subdivision?
Just how far away must the second gal be before she can ask the question?  Next city, county, next state, country, continent ??
Where is the cutoff?

If you go to meet one gal and it doesn't work out, you just say that, and go meet others.
I've done it myself. Every girl would ask me, Beeel why are you visiting Raaasha? I would
say, I came to meet a girl but it didn't work out. NONE of them were bothered by this.

It's spending a whole bunch of time with several girls and then trying to visit each of them
that I have a problem with. A guy should be able to filter the girls out if he spends a ton of
time communicating with them. It's using a visit one tactic with a visit many strategy.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online SteveInBoston

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #186 on: November 10, 2018, 02:13:11 AM »
Think about the stupidity wherein a local gal that you may date will ask you if she is the only gal you plan to date within X time period.  Really beyond belief right ?
Now, would it be OK for the gal to ask this same question if she lived in an adjoining subdivision?
Just how far away must the second gal be before she can ask the question?  Next city, county, next state, country, continent ??
Where is the cutoff?

This makes sense when approaching the search/meeting per GQ's advice - minimal communication before visiting.  But if you invest a lot of time chatting and calling and video..um, videoing?, and the lady also invests her time and possibly additional effort (like improving her English for you), then it gets complicated.   With the likelihood of her taking time off from work or travelling from her city to meet you, she will have more expectations of you than someone she meets at a club after work or have coffee with during her lunch break.

That's the downside of a keyboard Romeo.  If you're successful, then you start developing emotional attachment, all before meeting in person.  Things can go great (if you both click), horrible, or somewhere in-between.   You hope that if the chemistry is not there, then you can amicably move on to see/date/online message someone else.  But if it goes bad or awkward, you still need to move on to find a woman who is a match.

Online msmob

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #187 on: November 10, 2018, 02:44:10 AM »
It is brilliant in that it shows in stark reality the stupidity of thinking that WOVO is morally superior.

It is / was superior for many - and it is certainly more honest / moral ?

My example shows exactly that one can be truthful that they are only there to visit the one gal on that trip.


Think about the stupidity wherein a local gal that you may date will ask you if she is the only gal you plan to date within X time period.  Really beyond belief right ?

The question asked is "are you visiting any other woman"..I  got asked it when thinking I was 'smart' in 2003 and did a W2V2

Never again ;) .. 

Trying to  decide which lady I wanted most - balancing dates, over-running ...not for me !

It was supposed to be enjoyable

One lady snogged my  face off in the back of a taxi on the way back from the Blue lake ( South of Kyiv)  and I still managed to fit in the second lady at a UK embassy do

WAY to much stress.


« Last Edit: November 10, 2018, 11:31:15 AM by msmob »

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #188 on: November 10, 2018, 11:23:11 AM »
A guy should be able to filter the girls out if he spends a ton of time communicating with them. It's using a visit one tactic with a visit many strategy.

Depending on how successful you are at calling them up one at a time after each other. Some may not reply/refuse/be busy/out of town which would leave gaps.

With ML's strategy they're all racked up and ready to go  :) So perhaps most efficient use of time.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #189 on: November 10, 2018, 05:08:46 PM »
Depending on how successful you are at calling them up one at a time after each other. Some may not reply/refuse/be busy/out of town which would leave gaps.

With ML's strategy they're all racked up and ready to go  :) So perhaps most efficient use of time.

First, ML has top level interpersonal skills and confidence.

Second, How old is the oldest woman that you would be willing to marry?
Answer that and I will tell you why it's not as likely to work for you.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #190 on: November 10, 2018, 05:31:08 PM »
First, ML has top level interpersonal skills and confidence.

Second, How old is the oldest woman that you would be willing to marry?
Answer that and I will tell you why it's not as likely to work for you.

My guess would be mid thirties, say about 35.

That's all a bit subjective though, it depends upon the woman, but in terms of ones that can easily have kids that's where it can start to tail off a bit.

Online msmob

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #191 on: November 11, 2018, 02:28:01 AM »
Remember Trenchie seeks a woman who's 35 WITHOUT kids - such a presumably professional - woman going to be interested in a Brit guy earning less tan the average salary ?


Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #192 on: November 11, 2018, 03:51:13 PM »
You've gotta stop taking over other peoples threads.

So here what is radically different. Once a woman in the FSU gets over a certain age
the men stop seriously considering her for marriage and a family. Men would still be
happy to sit on her couch and get waited on hand and foot and to F#ck her frequently
without a condom, but eventually they will move to another woman's couch and the
cycle will repeat itself. 

100% of the women that ML sought out have reached that age. 10% of the women
you are considering have reached that age.

Next, ML has top level grade A interpersonal skills and you don't. He's far more likely
to talk women into doing something they aren't 100% interested in while you will find
it more difficult.

Lastly, ML doesn't spend many months exchanging conversations with these women.
I don't know how many he exchanges but it will be 10% or less than what you intend
to do.

So you aren't actually following ML's tactics, you are doing a hybrid of the wrong
mix but calling your hybrid ML's system in order to give it credibility. You have spent
most of your time here, ignoring most of the advice you get, only highlighting that
which you can twist to match your own theories.
Letís be clear.  Iím not trying to twist anything.  I am trying to do what works best for me.  I used to set up a lot of dates here in the US with very little communication before the date.  I have no problem lining them up. The problem is I went on a ton of dates where I wanted to leave within the first ten minutes.  I started extending the amount of conversation as a part of due diligence so I wouldnít waste as much time.  It became much more common that I would end up sleeping with a girl on the first date than my previous nightmare scenario.

I would always be talking to at least a dozen girls at once.  I would often have dates lined up for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.  If my Thursday date worked out, I would just cancel the other two dates.  In my mind, a big difference is that none of the girls ever asked what I was doing on the other nights of me week.  It has always felt like an unspoken ďItís none of your businessĒ.

When I tell a girl I am planning to visit Ukraine, they tend to ask a ton of questions, even early on.  They want to know how long I am going, what I am doing there, who will I be seeing, etc.

If you go back to my initial question, I was trying to find a tactful way of navigating through these questions without lying or sounding evasive (saying ďnone of your businessĒ doesnít work for me)

GQ left a wonderful response on this thread (one of the first responses)where he outlines an excellent system he used.  I donít have tome to set that all up before this trip, but I am strongly considering doing something similar in the future (depending on how trip one goes)

I believe ML did an excellent job showing the absurdity of claiming the moral superiority approach over another... especially if you are saying up front that you will be talking to other women and you encourage them to talk to other men.

So, does anyone think itís a bad idea to talk to many girls, letting them know you are still talking to other girls, but taking a little more time to get to know them?  I think it can help weed out a lot of girls before I meet them.  Otherwise, just going by criteria like, sheís young, beautiful, educated, speaks English, live in Kiev and willing to meet me... well, thatís not much to go on... and thereís hundreds and hundreds of those online.

I admit that I can get too emotionally involved in the process, but I am also trying to achieve a specific life objective.  I feel approaches mentioned by ML and GQ are more practical. I can set emotions aside if and when I have to.  Itís hard for me to get a good feel for a girl after just a few emails is a problem for me. A week or two of texting with a couple video chats will help me weed out a lot of girls.

For those people thinking Iím just trying to pick the advice I want to hear, nothing could be further from the truth. I keep asking my dumb questions because Iím trying to learn from mistakes of others.  I have already changed many things in how I approach things.

I know some people like to criticize and insult me personally... thatís easy enough to ignore... but itís worth it considering the wisdom I gain from so many others.

Thanks everyone

Online 2tallbill

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How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #193 on: November 11, 2018, 05:21:50 PM »
Letís be clear.  Iím not trying to twist anything.

Let's be clear, I was posting in response to Trenchcoat, who seems to hijack other
peoples threads. Nothing in my post was in reference to you.
Udachi!

Bill 

Trenchcoat has a 97+ page thread of his own here which was made for him as he
kept interrupting other threads with his inanity.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22008.0;topicseen


« Last Edit: November 11, 2018, 05:24:48 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #194 on: November 11, 2018, 06:37:10 PM »
Let's be clear, I was posting in response to Trenchcoat, who seems to hijack other
peoples threads. Nothing in my post was in reference to you.
Udachi!

Bill 

Trenchcoat has a 97+ page thread of his own here which was made for him as he
kept interrupting other threads with his inanity.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22008.0;topicseen
Thanks for clarifying... now your post makes much more sense!

Online Donna_Pedro

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #195 on: November 11, 2018, 10:04:54 PM »


When I tell a girl I am planning to visit Ukraine, they tend to ask a ton of questions, even early on.  They want to know how long I am going, what I am doing there, who will I be seeing, etc.

If you go back to my initial question, I was trying to find a tactful way of navigating through these questions without lying or sounding evasive (saying ďnone of your businessĒ doesnít work for me)



So, does anyone think itís a bad idea to talk to many girls, letting them know you are still talking to other girls, but taking a little more time to get to know them?  I think it can help weed out a lot of girls before I meet them.  Otherwise, just going by criteria like, sheís young, beautiful, educated, speaks English, live in Kiev and willing to meet me... well, thatís not much to go on... and thereís hundreds and hundreds of those online.



 I am thinking, if I were to date a man locally and he would tell me casually he is seeing other girls and encourage me to do the same - He would probably never see me again. Yes, even early in a process.  I deserve a separate personal visit - that is how I think about myself and - surprise! I found me a man, who felt the same way. Some women never ask this question upfront, because they  do not want to hear the answer.  Because then they either have to refuse to participate or  will have to step on their pride and pretend it was ok. Its never OK, really.. regardless what a woman says.
Kaplah!

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #196 on: November 12, 2018, 02:55:28 AM »

 I am thinking, if I were to date a man locally and he would tell me casually he is seeing other girls and encourage me to do the same - He would probably never see me again. Yes, even early in a process.  I deserve a separate personal visit - that is how I think about myself and - surprise! I found me a man, who felt the same way. Some women never ask this question upfront, because they  do not want to hear the answer.  Because then they either have to refuse to participate or  will have to step on their pride and pretend it was ok. Its never OK, really.. regardless what a woman says.
Donna, I hear what you are saying. I really do.

The thing is... if I connect with a girl, it always happens on the first date. Not the second date or the third date...  if I am on a date and I connect with her and she asks that question... I have (many times) in the past, told a girl, ďI had other dates planned, but I really want to just focus on you right now and see where things goĒ

I will cancel the other dates and the girl feels really special that she ďbeat outĒ the other girls, but she also knows that Iím not desperate and I have other options besides her.

I canít speak for others, but at no point have I suggested actively dating more than one person.  Everything I am talking about is the activity BEFORE the first date.  If Iím looking for someone I click with, when I find a girl who clicks, I donít keep looking anymore.  I found her. The search is over.

Once I had an afternoon date with a girl.  We had such an animal attraction that we found ourselves almost having sex in a public bathroom stall within a few hours of meeting.  I was sure I found ďthe oneĒ.  She had to cut our date short, becuse she confessed she had planned back to back dates with another guy.  She said she wanted to pursue things with me, but she didnít want to be rude and cancel on the other guy.

The fact that she was in high demand turned me on.  She had a golden opportunity to make me feel like a king by cancelling with the other guy, but she didnít.  She called me later that night becuase her second date sucked and she wanted to see me exclusively, but it was too late. She lost her chance with me.  The sucky thing is, we really have a soul connection.  We still talk all the time and she has tried to date me for the past two years, but I refuse to, because of what happened.

So, yes... I understand what you are saying, but I still think that demanding exclusivity before you even meet is excessive.  I think itís a bit much to expect a guy to give up a week or more of his time and hundreds or thousands of dollars for a first date gamble... especially when she isnít promising exclusivity.  Nothing is stopping her from dating other guys.  How do I know five other guys arenít flying in this month to meet her?

Online krimster2

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #197 on: November 12, 2018, 08:16:24 AM »
"The problem is I went on a ton of dates where I wanted to leave within the first ten minutes."

guess what, the girls wanted to leave in the first 30 sec, and then they put on their "I don't care any more" attitude
and it takes you 9 minutes and 30 seconds for you to pick up on this....



ďI will cancel the other dates and the girl feels really special that she ďbeat outĒ the other girls, but she also knows that Iím not desperate and I have other options besides her.Ē

what kinda dopey manipulation is that, High Schoolers donít even do this kinda crap






ďOnce I had an afternoon date with a girl.  We had such an animal attraction that we found ourselves almost having sex in a public bathroom stall within a few hours of meeting.  I was sure I found ďthe oneĒ. ď



seriously dewd?
are you really this messed up or is this your repressed fantasy bubbling out




ďThe fact that she was in high demand turned me on.  She had a golden opportunity to make me feel like a king by cancelling with the other guy, but she didnít.  She called me later that night becuase her second date sucked and she wanted to see me exclusively, but it was too late. She lost her chance with me.  The sucky thing is, we really have a soul connection.  We still talk all the time and she has tried to date me for the past two years, but I refuse to, because of what happened.Ē


see now I KNOW that this is the Beard and not a human
an Actual human would not be this dumb

you get sexually aroused by having fantasies where you ďbeat outĒ other men
you use that phrase a lot, this is totally a Beard fantasy and not a human one




« Last Edit: November 12, 2018, 08:19:41 AM by krimster2 »
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

вот как я могу создать американскую личность
Я могу взять напрокат

Online Donna_Pedro

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #198 on: November 12, 2018, 09:06:26 AM »

So, yes... I understand what you are saying, but I still think that demanding exclusivity before you even meet is excessive.  I think itís a bit much to expect a guy to give up a week or more of his time and hundreds or thousands of dollars for a first date gamble... especially when she isnít promising exclusivity.  Nothing is stopping her from dating other guys.  How do I know five other guys arenít flying in this month to meet her?


I understand your point. It all comes to money, wich is normal. However WOVO mean investing a lot of time upfront, before you met. I do not know how, but me and Mr. Pedro  both felt rather strong connection just by talking on the phone. And we did not have  video chats like Slype, Whatsup etc. I talked to other guys on the phone as well, but after 1-2 calls was no longer interested in them, but I could spend hours on the phone with Mr. Pedro and not be bored. He talked a lot about his life, like, for example.."He - I have just got a letter from an insurance company" Me - what do they want?" He - they say, my last labs were not covered and I will have to pay XXX dollars out of pocket, a...holes!" Me - "how dare they?" And then I got a wealth of knowledge about how american medical insurance system worked. And a glimpse into credit points too.. It was so interesting to learn about things from him. Then he would say - I need to go grocery shopping.. I - whats in your refridgirator?... And here is another piece of  knowledge for me.. He does not like this, but loves that and that. OK, let me make a mental note here. Everything he said was simple life staff, but it was  wealth of knowledge for me. I actually put a part of my life on hold just to talk to Mr. Pedro, because I was interested. And this  indicated to him that he was not going to waste money if he came to visit me and  that  I did not have 5 more guys lined up to visit me too. My advise - invest time upfront. Its free for you and will tell you exactly who is truly interested.
Kaplah!

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #199 on: November 13, 2018, 03:26:48 PM »

I understand your point. It all comes to money, wich is normal. However WOVO mean investing a lot of time upfront, before you met. I do not know how, but me and Mr. Pedro  both felt rather strong connection just by talking on the phone. And we did not have  video chats like Slype, Whatsup etc. I talked to other guys on the phone as well, but after 1-2 calls was no longer interested in them, but I could spend hours on the phone with Mr. Pedro and not be bored. He talked a lot about his life, like, for example.."He - I have just got a letter from an insurance company" Me - what do they want?" He - they say, my last labs were not covered and I will have to pay XXX dollars out of pocket, a...holes!" Me - "how dare they?" And then I got a wealth of knowledge about how american medical insurance system worked. And a glimpse into credit points too.. It was so interesting to learn about things from him. Then he would say - I need to go grocery shopping.. I - whats in your refridgirator?... And here is another piece of  knowledge for me.. He does not like this, but loves that and that. OK, let me make a mental note here. Everything he said was simple life staff, but it was  wealth of knowledge for me. I actually put a part of my life on hold just to talk to Mr. Pedro, because I was interested. And this  indicated to him that he was not going to waste money if he came to visit me and  that  I did not have 5 more guys lined up to visit me too. My advise - invest time upfront. Its free for you and will tell you exactly who is truly interested.

The more I talk to FSU women, Iím learning that your philosophy is not uncommon.

I have noticed a lot of prying questions about why I am visiting Ukraine, how long I will be staying, who I am seeing.  One girl was out of town when I will be there in November, so I told her that maybe we could meet when I return in January.  I am pretty much an open book, so I usually donít mind questions, but she started demanding to know why I am visiting Ukraine so often.  What is she suspicious of?  Does she just think I have a ton of girls lined up? Is she thinking Iím a sex tourist?

I found some potential business dealings in Kiev... Iím thinking on setting up some meetings just so suspicious girls will get off my back. There is actually some business potential there, so it wonít be a lie at all...

 

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