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Author Topic: How to Visit Many without lying?  (Read 17900 times)

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Online LAman

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #250 on: November 15, 2018, 09:58:56 AM »
Okay, so “miss hottie” who was dying to meet me at the airport has been blowing me off lately, so I started chatting with other girls... just in case.

Then, it happened... I saw this girl’s profile.  She may be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.  I knew it was a one in a million shot, but I sent her a message anyway.  She responded and I quickly got her number to go on Viber.  We chatted for about five hours and then decided to video chat. She was just as beautiful in person even though she was just wearing a bathrobe and no makeup.  The call was a little awkward because her spoken English is not very good, but we both felt a mutual connection.  We agreed to go back to texting.

I stayed up all night texting her, she is taking university classes and she cut class to keep talking to me.  Neither of us wanted the conversation to end.  We ended up chatting for more than 24 hours, almost nonstop. We shared everything about our lives... we exchanged well over 100 pictures of our lives.

Maybe, just maybe, I understand what Donna Pedro was talking about... this great connection.  I have no desire to talk to any other girls at this point. I can’t even think about a plan “b”.  I just want to talk to this girl and only this girl. I have never felt so “committed” to a prospect.  Maybe it’s foolish... maybe it’s lack of sleep.  I have removed my online profiles and I only have one focus right now.

I have also seen how easy it is to drum up a conversation online with a girl and ask for a date, so I can figure out a plan b when I am in country, if I have to.

As for this economic debate goes... The girls I have been talking to do not seem to have financial problems. I can only picture one of them who would take the economic hit and hook up with a poor foreigner (sorry TC) this girl is an unemployed widow with a one year old baby.  Otherwise, these girls don’t seem too desperate.

One girl is the child of a doctor. She has a good government job. She has a nice apartment in Kiev and a country home too.  The girl I just met has a Kiev Apartment and another home in Poltovo. Her family owns a luxury hotel. She goes to Egypt and Greece and other places across Europe every year.  She is actually skeptical and asked me what the US standard of living is.  I was dismayed when I saw it was ranked 17 on a list (Ukraine was 73).  This girl is not a gold digger... She just doesn’t want to go from being well off, to being poor.  Her lifestyle and social status may actually go down a notch.  I own a small brewery... so does her family... but her operation is easily 10 times the size of mine.  It’s actually quite humbling.  Her last boyfriend was rich, but he didn’t want a family.  She told me she wants love and a family, and doesn’t care if she isn’t rich.

So, I’m glad I approach these women rather humbly and sell them on “me” instead of acting like the rich foreigner who will rescue her from her wretched life.  This latest girl’s ties to home are so deep that it may even be a relationship killer. She was in a long term relationship with a guy from Switzerland, but that is so much closer to Ukraine.  If it works out with this girl, the solution may be for us to live in Ukraine in the summers. I don’t think I would mind.

Maybe some people are desperate and want to be rescued... but not everyone.

Sounds like you're just going to be jumping from girl to girl with nothing to end up with and plenty of sightseeing alone.

Very telling how you fall for anyone giving you any attention.

>>>>>>The call was a little awkward because her spoken English is not very good, but we both felt a mutual connection


Very funny, talked for 24 hours with someone who's English is not very good? Summers in Ukraine??hahha

I think you meant: "but I felt a mutual connection".
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Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #251 on: November 15, 2018, 10:22:20 AM »
Sounds like you're just going to be jumping from girl to girl with nothing to end up with and plenty of sightseeing alone.

Very telling how you fall for anyone giving you any attention.

>>>>>>The call was a little awkward because her spoken English is not very good, but we both felt a mutual connection


Very funny, talked for 24 hours with someone who's English is not very good? Summers in Ukraine??hahha

I think you meant: "but I felt a mutual connection".
Ever hear of google translate?

Offline Boethius

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #252 on: November 15, 2018, 10:30:40 AM »
It's better than it used to be, but it only gives you the gist of what is said.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #253 on: November 15, 2018, 10:41:39 AM »
According to my husband, an FSU citizen, "That's exactly what it is."


I see it a bit differently.  There is a small middle class, mostly working in industries where they can earn their incomes from foreign sources.  But it is a very small class.  Anyone who owns a hotel, or a brewery, or a candy factory, obtained that property via theft.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

Well, this girl is definitely not on the poor side of the coin.  She just decided at the last minute to spend a week at the Hilton in Kemer, Turkey.

Come to think of it... her dad does look like a Russian mafia crime boss out of the movies... I better keep an eye on him.

Offline Boethius

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #254 on: November 15, 2018, 10:42:57 AM »
Then the probability is, you are a means to an end.  You won't know that until well after the fact.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2018, 10:50:31 AM by Boethius »
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #255 on: November 15, 2018, 10:45:06 AM »
It's better than it used to be, but it only gives you the gist of what is said.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
The conversations I have had with google translate flow much better than many conversations where the girl has “good” English speaking skills.... except the girl who was a professional translator.  She was close to fluent.

Offline Boethius

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #256 on: November 15, 2018, 10:50:09 AM »
What I mean is that they are typically close, but do not convey exactly what is said.  That usually results in misunderstandings.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online krimster2

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #257 on: November 15, 2018, 10:57:28 AM »
"The conversations I have had with google translate flow much better..."

I almost hurt myself from laughing so hard when I read this...
these priceless pearls of humor are TOTALLY the reason I come here
hilarious

вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

вот как я могу создать американскую личность
Я могу взять напрокат

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #258 on: November 15, 2018, 11:25:05 AM »
What I mean is that they are typically close, but do not convey exactly what is said.  That usually results in misunderstandings.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
There is definitely a huge opportunity for misunderstanding.  I was trying to help out the conversation by translating my words into Russian.  She sent me a silly home video...I told her I thought it was “silly” but it translated into “stupid”.  From that point, she said “I will do the translating”.  She knows enough English to correct bad translations, so she never looks foolish (like I did).

Online jone

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #259 on: November 15, 2018, 11:50:45 AM »
There is definitely a huge opportunity for misunderstanding.  I was trying to help out the conversation by translating my words into Russian.  She sent me a silly home video...I told her I thought it was “silly” but it translated into “stupid”.  From that point, she said “I will do the translating”.  She knows enough English to correct bad translations, so she never looks foolish (like I did).

Hmm.  Week at the Hilton in Turkey?   

Just made the decision?   Wonder who is sponsoring her to be there?
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #260 on: November 15, 2018, 11:55:02 AM »
Hmm.  Week at the Hilton in Turkey?   

Just made the decision?   Wonder who is sponsoring her to be there?
Her parents

Online jone

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #261 on: November 15, 2018, 12:15:45 PM »
Been there, done that. 

But!  Seems out of the ordinary to, all of a sudden, make a decision to make a trip to Turkey (of all places).   And camp out at the Hilton.

Keep a weather eye open.   Especially if this gal is as beautiful as you make her out to be.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #262 on: November 15, 2018, 12:25:51 PM »
Been there, done that. 

But!  Seems out of the ordinary to, all of a sudden, make a decision to make a trip to Turkey (of all places).   And camp out at the Hilton.

Keep a weather eye open.   Especially if this gal is as beautiful as you make her out to be.

Thanks for the heads up. I’m always suspicious... at least a little bit. At the same time I try to extend a bit of trust until they give me a reason not to.  I guess that’s the difficult part about courting someone in another continent.  You never really know what they are doing or who they are with unless you are on video chat 24x7

Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #263 on: November 15, 2018, 01:17:28 PM »
I left a little part of that story out.  When the girl called, she almost convinced me to give her another chance.  I asked her out that next Friday.  She said she couldn’t Friday because she had another date that she had already scheduled.  She said she could do Saturday, but not too early because she will have to go back home. The guy was taking her to a concert that was going to run pretty late, so she was planning on spending the night at his house.

Yea, that poor girl..


But she was simply doing a WMVM approach! Some of you even encourage women to see other men. And here is what happens when they do.   Obviousely Brownbear is not THAT open minded (my attempt at humor)..
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Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #264 on: November 15, 2018, 01:32:40 PM »

But she was simply doing a WMVM approach! Some of you even encourage women to see other men. And here is what happens when they do.   Obviousely Brownbear is not THAT open minded (my attempt at humor)..
Hahaha!

Don’t you realize the difference in what I am saying?

When I find someone I like, I don’t keep dating other girls.

I remember one other girl did a similar thing to me and her response was, “You wouldn’t buy the first pair of jeans you tried on, would you?”

Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #265 on: November 15, 2018, 01:34:08 PM »
talked for 24 hours with someone who's English is not very good? Summers in Ukraine??hahha




Summers in Ukraine I would not encourage, however in situation described ny Browbear, in  order  to talk for such a long time both a man and a woman  would have to apply considerable efforts. And it looks like she did apply efforts too, not just him. Which means she was interested. Actually, even when english is good, talking a foreign language for for 24 hours  is difficult.. Everything 2 hours+ is difficult even after 17 years speaking it everyday.
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Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #266 on: November 15, 2018, 01:39:10 PM »
Hahaha!

Don’t you realize the difference in what I am saying?

When I find someone I like, I don’t keep dating other girls.

I remember one other girl did a similar thing to me and her response was, “You wouldn’t buy the first pair of jeans you tried on, would you?”


Sorry,  I was just using your experience to make my own point.




Quote
You wouldn’t buy the first pair of jeans you tried on, would you?”


Interesting  comparison, I am not sure I agree to it..  But still, the answer is  -  I would and I did. If the first one fits and looks nice - I am not looking anymore.
Kaplah!

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #267 on: November 15, 2018, 01:55:05 PM »

Summers in Ukraine I would not encourage, however in situation described ny Browbear, in  order  to talk for such a long time both a man and a woman  would have to apply considerable efforts. And it looks like she did apply efforts too, not just him. Which means she was interested. Actually, even when english is good, talking a foreign language for for 24 hours  is difficult.. Everything 2 hours+ is difficult even after 17 years speaking it everyday.

Problem is it can all evaporate into nothing when on meeting if there is no chemistry. The girl I met in Minsk a couple of months back wanted to talk on video chat & message way more than I did. I knew to keep it short so as not to waste loads of time and keep her interest keen. So keen in fact she was a bit miffed at me keep calling it short, lol.

Being friends in such a situation is of course possible. It no doubt has its merits but I'm not there for that, if it were a girl who I could see as being someone I would see as fitting with me as a frIend - i.e similar interests or outlook I probably would but otherwise I view it as a bit pointless.

Why not to encourage Summers in Ukraine? I found it quite nice out there in Summer, particularly around Odessa, etc. So long as you can stay out of any trouble which may rear up but that's not been a problem since Maiden in the main. I've found it generally pretty cordial all the time I've been out there like any other fairly civilised country. In the main tourists are not bothered so long as they don't go looking for trouble or be real idiots.

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #268 on: November 15, 2018, 02:30:45 PM »
Problem is it can all evaporate into nothing when on meeting if there is no chemistry. The girl I met in Minsk a couple of months back wanted to talk on video chat & message way more than I did. I knew to keep it short so as not to waste loads of time and keep her interest keen. So keen in fact she was a bit miffed at me keep calling it short, lol.

...and how did that 'tactic' work out ? .... I missed that she was to become Mrs Trench ...

Matey, you dislike VC because of the issues YOU have with the questions you'll get asked and are surprised when you pitch up and there's no 'chemistry' ....   You just didn't allow her to do 'due diligence' on YOU......

I think 'no chemistry; means she's not interested to jump your bones when she see's your attitude and her lights have gone out - leaving you wondering, "Huh? AGAIN ?"

Stop blamin' the gal and look at yourself, man ....




Being friends in such a situation is of course possible. It no doubt has its merits but I'm not there for that, if it were a girl who I could see as being someone I would see as fitting with me as a frIend - i.e similar interests or outlook I probably would but otherwise I view it as a bit pointless.

I learnt LOADS from ladies that it didn't work out with  - you are missing out on hints to do better




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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #269 on: November 15, 2018, 04:10:34 PM »

Summers in Ukraine I would not encourage, however in situation described ny Browbear, in  order  to talk for such a long time both a man and a woman  would have to apply considerable efforts. And it looks like she did apply efforts too, not just him. Which means she was interested. Actually, even when english is good, talking a foreign language for for 24 hours  is difficult.. Everything 2 hours+ is difficult even after 17 years speaking it everyday.


When you first me somebody, its kind of exciting, everything you talk about is new.

My guess this girl had nothing else going on with her as opposed to being truly interested into our Price Charming.

This girl is so interested in our OP, she tells him that all of a sudden decided to go to Turkey. Who knows with who, although the knowledgeable here know.

BTW- Sorry if i come across as a doubter Mr Beard, just seen this situation with your 'girls' so much I do feel sorry for what you have to deal with.
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Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #270 on: November 15, 2018, 04:13:33 PM »
Problem is it can all evaporate into nothing when on meeting if there is no chemistry. The girl I met in Minsk a couple of months back wanted to talk on video chat & message way more than I did. I knew to keep it short so as not to waste loads of time and keep her interest keen. So keen in fact she was a bit miffed at me keep calling it short, lol.

Being friends in such a situation is of course possible. It no doubt has its merits but I'm not there for that, if it were a girl who I could see as being someone I would see as fitting with me as a frIend - i.e similar interests or outlook I probably would but otherwise I view it as a bit pointless.

Why not to encourage Summers in Ukraine? I found it quite nice out there in Summer, particularly around Odessa, etc. So long as you can stay out of any trouble which may rear up but that's not been a problem since Maiden in the main. I've found it generally pretty cordial all the time I've been out there like any other fairly civilised country. In the main tourists are not bothered so long as they don't go looking for trouble or be real idiots.
I’m racking my brain to remember a time when I have used video chat before a date and it didn’t work out.  I can remember dates where we talked extensively on the phone and it didn’t work out... that was usually because they severely  misrepresented themselves with their pictures.  This problem would have been solved by VC.

I can only recall three outcomes after VC personally.  1. I lose interest in her.  2. She loses interest in me.  3. We meet and hit it off really well.

I have only had high enough interest in three UW this past month or so that I even wanted to VC.  The first wasn’t very good, but everything else was good (we could still talk for hours on the phone after an awkward video chat).  The second was awesome, but she lost interest over time.  The third one had the best chemistry, even though she has the lowest English ability. Chemistry can exist over the internet and it’s not dependent on Language as much as you might think.

When I was in the Army over 20 years ago in Korea, my friend dragged me on a double date. The girl he was with didn’t trust him to go out alone with her, so they both agreed to bring a friend.  The girl I was set up with was really cute, but didn’t speak a word of English.  We went to the beach, and a small amusement park.  The only conversation consisted of me pointing an asking how to say something in Korean. (This is how I learned that “ghia” is “rat” as there were many large rats on the beach in Pusan). I remember getting up the nerve to hold her hand on the Ferris wheel... and she clutched back tightly.... by the end of the night, I was making out with this girl in the Hotel room my friend and I shared.  It might have gone further, but her friend wanted to go home, so they left.

Anyway, chemistry is an interesting thing.  You can’t force it if it isn’t there, butnif it’s strong, you can make a lot of mistakes and still get the girl.

Offline brownbeard99

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #271 on: November 15, 2018, 04:32:49 PM »

When you first me somebody, its kind of exciting, everything you talk about is new.

My guess this girl had nothing else going on with her as opposed to being truly interested into our Price Charming.

This girl is so interested in our OP, she tells him that all of a sudden decided to go to Turkey. Who knows with who, although the knowledgeable here know.

BTW- Sorry if i come across as a doubter Mr Beard, just seen this situation with your 'girls' so much I do feel sorry for what you have to deal with.
Okay, so I asked the girl more about her trip to Turkey. It turns out that it was planned for awhile. She mentioned it because she realized that she won’t be back home until my second day in Ukraine and she wanted to meet me at the airport when I arrived.  She still wants to go out with me the day she gets back. I jokingly said I could meet her in Turkey.  She got really excited... she was let down when I told her I was kidding. I don’t think she would be excited if she was going with another man.  She texts me a hundred or more times throughout the day... I doubt she will keep this up if she is on vacation with another guy.

Are you familiar with Occam’s Razor?  Instead of crazy theories of how a girl spends hours on end talking to me and making plans and sharing all her hopes and dreams... just because she is bored...  Have you considered the fact that maybe she just likes me?

I think it’s humorous that some board members are so rooted in their disdain for me that they can’t accept the idea that maybe some girls actually like me.

I’m sure if I get engaged, these same board members will say She is using me.  If I am happily married for ten years, they will say I am lying...
« Last Edit: November 15, 2018, 04:47:41 PM by brownbeard99 »

Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #272 on: November 15, 2018, 05:01:20 PM »

When you first me somebody, its kind of exciting, everything you talk about is new.




True. But in a few  hours, if a girl is fluent in english language, you usually  cover all the interesting topics. The guy is  done telling all his catchy anekdotes and then comes an akward pause in a conversation and everything else depends on how interested  parties are. If you  are interested, you look for questions to ask, listen to the answers and ask more questions.  If a girl struggles with English language, in 2 hours she is tired  and wants to stop the conversation because he brain is about to start smoking. If she is still talking, that means she is very interested. Using video chats helps a lot. At least you can be 75% sure you have chemistry.
Kaplah!

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #273 on: November 15, 2018, 05:01:39 PM »
I learnt LOADS from ladies that it didn't work out with  - you are missing out on hints to do better

For her I wasn't the type of guy she thought of me in her mind - even though she had video chatted with me. Some FSW are so taken with the idea of meeting foreigners they lose rationality. I uderstand a person can be different in person than what you build them up to be in your mind.

She told me off a couple of areas she was looking for that I didn't cover. I didn't hold it against her but she was a theatre type, I wasn't, her English was improving while we were together gradually a little, we could kind off talk but it was a bit flat in the main. We were two different people, we were like chalk and cheese. I wondered this before meeting but she seemed real keen and eagerly communicating with me. I wanted to see what Minsk/Belarus scene was like so I thought why not. Crucially though the chemistry was not there with her.

So I decided to call it a day early with her, I don't hold it against her for staring what she wants. It's an area I am now working on improving. I don't take it personally. However I could see if we were to spend the remaining weekend together we would just irritate each other. I was quite eager to explore the city and if I could meet up with another girl on the hoof then I would have done so.

In addition I learnt that common interests really are something to head more towards. Totally different ie disinterests are probably something to avoid. I am also suspicious she may be after away to get out of Belarus when the moment suits to get better in her career.

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Re: How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #274 on: November 15, 2018, 05:07:35 PM »
Mr Beard, I found your first thread here from 3 years ago under introductions. You had quite the thread. Just wondering what you had done/learned in your life since then. Did you ever take that trip to an FSU country?
I found one post that summed up much of your thread:

Back this train wreck up.....
I can't believe my eyes, I read this whole thread and all I have to say is WOW!   I am not even sure how to reply, someone needs to get real honest with you BB. I am not going to quote pieces of your thread....Just take the time to go back through it and read it yourself.

First off I am not attacking you in anyway...I am really trying to help. IMO you are not ready to meet a FSUW or any other woman at this time...
You are all over the map here. You speak about logic, statistics and that you are a data analyst.
Everything about you is self image....Not once did I read about your good heart, your high moral standard and character. Life's enjoyment and all the other positives.

Anyone that gives you advice and you don't like it, you want to defend your position or attack them.
Try that with a normal FSU woman and you will get your ass handed to you.

You mention that you are the "Dad of the year" and you would take on a wet bobcat for your children. Then you boast about riding a 180mph motorcycle, skiing, mountain climbing, boating and extreme sports. Doesn't sound too logical for a single parent to engage in high risk activities for fear of losing his life, making his kids life a living hell. Also showing your new woman that she well could be a young widow with a bunch of kids.

You talk about being one of the most intelligent people, with a IQ that is only of 1-2% of the earths population. The truth is a IQ of a 140 something won't even get you a application to Mensa which they claim to have 1-2% intelligent people in the world. Statistics show intelligent people don't have basic common sense.

You always mention that you are looking for a smoking hot woman, external beauty is #1 on your shopping list....Why is that? to make yourself look good? maybe ask yourself that question. Not once have you mentioned you are looking for a good woman. A woman who has a good heart, who is kind and loving. A woman of integrity and is as loyal as the day is long....all you are looking for is a hot body that will play mom to your kids. You even mention that you are not in it for love....Isn't that what it's all about? Love...

Then you think having a Masters from a ivy league like Harvard is something. When the truth is that statistics show most "white collar criminals" come from Harvard.

How can you be at the peak of your game with only a few hours of sleep a day....it takes longer than that to reach REM.

I could go on and on here. My advice is you need to learn yourself, you haven't yet. If we don't learn from our mistakes, we get to repeat them until we learn.

I probably know what your bio reads on your profile.

Maybe you need to look for "sponsors", not dating or marriage sites. Look at some of the FSU sponsor sites. They are for people who are looking for "benefits"...You can find your beautiful woman...she will play mommy and she will have things that she wants from you...check it out, it may work for you
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

 

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