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Author Topic: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone  (Read 3998 times)

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Online Jamesukjames

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Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« on: January 02, 2019, 09:16:50 AM »
Ok experienced guys.  Ever looked through her phone and not liked what you saw but then thought so what if she looked through mine.  Open and fair debate please.  Should be some good stories.  Or should a gentleman never look ?

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2019, 09:21:51 AM »
Ok experienced guys.  Ever looked through her phone and not liked what you saw but then thought so what if she looked through mine.  Open and fair debate please.  Should be some good stories.  Or should a gentleman never look ?
Small question of trust here.
Why would you want to look through her phone in the first place?
My wife has access to all my devices. Similarly, I do hers.  I dont feel the need to go scrolling through her phone or computer nor she mine.

Offline ML

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2019, 09:26:15 AM »
I don't think it is ever a good idea, for many reasons.

For here, I will only address one reason; that is might cause you great and undue anguish.
For instance, you could see a message from another guy X months or even X years earlier.
Someone that she might have decided to never (or never again) follow up with.
So she might have never had a relationship (or a serious relationship) with him or, in any event, has decided to end it.
However for you, it will raise all sorts of questions and possible anxieties.

Don't do it !!
Winston Churchill.  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Online msmob

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2019, 11:03:07 AM »
My soon to be ex-wife ( Russian ) was quite happy to go through my computer when we first started to live together - it wasn't locked - I had deleted past women in my life - but while I was working she drilled down and found some in a  zipped folder I'd forgotten about and backed up from three years before ....  I found it somewhat amusing and she seemed 'jealous' of another lady's bottom ...

A few weeks later her Mum and her fell out about something and she wouldn't talk to her and I found her webmail open and translated it ... Remember this was MY computer and we were living together - not married yet .

I told her what I'd done and also got 'sent to Coventry' ( silent treatment  )

There's nothing my partner can't look at - as long as she doesn't  move / delete it and if she has an issue  - I'd rather she discuss it - openly

SC is a breath of fresh air ....  She also doesn't lock her tablet / phone  and I often get a request to 'visit' to fix a tech problem remotely ( using Teamviewer )




« Last Edit: January 02, 2019, 07:34:23 PM by msmob »

Online SteveInBoston

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2019, 11:19:54 AM »
It depends on the person, but I think everyone gets at least a little jealous or worked up about past lovers.  Hell, when I was real young I even got worked up when my gf mentioned an actor she really liked.

One day, during my first trip visiting wifey-to-be, I had a connection issue and asked her if she had a signal - she was busy with something and just handed me her phone and gave me the passcode to unlock it.  For a second I thought about looking at her messages/whatsapp/viber, but the second passed and that was it.

We've since talked about past relationships, and she is open about discussing just about anything.  Her past is her past, mine is mine.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2019, 11:42:19 AM »
I would never look through another partner's phone and would expect the same back. I find it just kind of find it a very poor attitude to do so, kind of like a deficiency in thet person's personality, almost like their a bit of a psycho with a controlling mentality. I don't think it is at all healthy psychologically for either partner to want to look through the others phone, its also kind of demeaning in a way. I would never accept it or likewise do it. 

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2019, 12:40:23 PM »
Ok I had my gf son run up to me with his mum's phone open laughing and showing me a 2 way conversation with loads of hearts even worse it was in English not Russian

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2019, 12:41:44 PM »
I read enough to see it was from a guy

Offline Boethius

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2019, 12:44:06 PM »
Ok I had my gf son run up to me with his mum's phone open laughing and showing me a 2 way conversation with loads of hearts even worse it was in English not Russian


So is it current?  And if so, did she tell  you she wasn't communicating with anyone else?


This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2019, 12:47:36 PM »
She said there was a guy from the past who was still interested but they hadn't communicated since the summer.  We got together october.   Oh yes this was a conversation from yesterday going way back

Offline Boethius

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2019, 12:50:07 PM »
You're too early in your relationship to make an issue of this, IMHO.  Win her over on your own merits. 


But, perhaps this has opened your eyes to how unrealistic some of your past posts about the merits of FSUW were.



This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #11 on: January 02, 2019, 01:02:13 PM »
Oh yes certainly can feel the hand of karma

Offline Boethius

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Re: Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #12 on: January 02, 2019, 01:05:14 PM »
LOL.  Well, TBH, I'm probably cynical because I'm influenced by:


a) seeing a lot of bad behaviour when I lived there;
b) my FSUM's opinions.  But then, he views Westerners as wanting to build relations based on money, so he's an equal opportunity misanthrope.


Just so you understand the context of where I'm coming from.


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To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline BC

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #13 on: January 02, 2019, 04:21:09 PM »
Never have, never will.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #14 on: January 02, 2019, 04:31:03 PM »
From earlier posts it sounds like the girl had been sleeping with James so it's kind of disingenious of her to do that while messaging another guy, from western society perspective anyway. Though like said she may have only thought herself suitable for short term flings.

Could always try disciplining her, a few smacks on the bum should set her straight ;D Would be a tame response compared to measures many FSUM take I hear.  :crackwhip:

To be honest though Boethius is probably right in terms of not mentionin it and winning her over to your merits if you want a long term future with this girl. As you may already know James, FSW do not take disagreements well so taking issue with it would likely send matters downhill pretty fast.

Odds are he may just be a keyboard romeo or some loney guy who just wants a penpal and may never intend to visit. Lots of them around. I think a lot of guys (myself earlier in this game) want exclusivity early on in the relationship. What I've learnt along the way though is that it's pretty pointless bothering with it/about it. The girl will either decide to communicate just with you or not so pretty worthless raising it as a point. Now I would tend to go with the perspective that if the relationship is a goer then she'll end up with me and if not asking for exclusivity won't likely help.

Curiously though it's kind of interesting that this other guy has gone for her as most guys choose a girl who is good in English and has no children.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2019, 10:53:29 PM by Trenchcoat »

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #15 on: January 02, 2019, 11:04:10 PM »
As an aside the girl I met last year began going on the dating site again when we had a dispute. At one point I told her she would unlikely find a guy that would be as generous as I was towards her :D Well looks like I was right as a bit before Christmas  she took her profile down of the dating site. I'm pretty sure she was only listed on the one dating site.

Had our break up just been over that issue then I could have just kept quiet and ignored her disceet and ridden it out. As it was it was a side issue that just led me to distrust her. I wanted her to know I wasn't stupid. Time over again though I wouldn't bother raising it no real progress is made in doing so and the odds are she'll get nowhere with such goings on anyway so it will likely all roll back in your direction anyway.

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #16 on: January 02, 2019, 11:17:12 PM »
As an aside the girl I met last year began going on the dating site again when we had a dispute. At one point I told her she would unlikely find a guy that would be as generous as I was towards her :D
I almost fell out of bed on reading this. If youre generous Trench, I dont know what Scrooge would be?

Quote
Well looks like I was right as a bit before Christmas  she took her profile down of the dating site.
There could be any number of reasons why she took her profile down. The obvious one being she met someone worthy enough.
That aside, why are you checking up on her if it didnt work out (no surprise there)? Some would call it a form of stalking.
 
Quote

Had our break up just been over that issue then I could have just kept quiet and ignored her disceet and ridden it out. As it was it was a side issue that just led me to distrust her. I wanted her to know I wasn't stupid.
Paranoia will really get you the girl......
« Last Edit: January 02, 2019, 11:18:50 PM by John Gaunt »

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #17 on: January 02, 2019, 11:51:49 PM »
There could be any number of reasons why she took her profile down. The obvious one being she met someone worthy enough.
That aside, why are you checking up on her if it didnt work out (no surprise there)? Some would call it a form of stalking.

I just happened to notice her profile was no longer in my mail folder when I was checking it. So I did a search and her profile was no longer up either. If her profile was no longer in my mail folder then it's unlikely she went on unseen mode but rather deleted her profile.

You're right it could be for all sorts of reasons hence why I didn't bother mentioning it on here till now. However on checking her vk & Facebook profile there was no update on there either. Now she is one to keep her relationships some what on the quiet but if she had someone I'm pretty sure a pic of the two of them would pop up or a foreign guys name on her friends list. Could be a local guy but again I would be thinking of a photo Moreso if local I would have thought. I think she probably realised I was right in saying she wouldn't find a guy as generous as me and gave up after some time. She lives out in Kherson so not many guys are going to travel out there while her traveling to meet guy adds complexity to it all as she had to ask guy to stump the cost, etc.

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #18 on: January 02, 2019, 11:55:47 PM »
I just happened to notice her profile was no longer in my mail folder when I was checking it. So I did a search and her profile was no longer up either. If her profile was no longer in my mail folder then it's unlikely she went on unseen mode but rather deleted her profile.

You're right it could be for all sorts of reasons hence why I didn't bother mentioning it on here till now. However on checking her vk & Facebook profile there was no update on there either. Now she is one to keep her relationships some what on the quiet but if she had someone I'm pretty sure a pic of the two of them would pop up or a foreign guys name on her friends list. Could be a local guy but again I would be thinking of a photo Moreso if local I would have thought. I think she probably realised I was right in saying she wouldn't find a guy as generous as me and gave up after some time. She lives out in Kherson so not many guys are going to travel out there while her traveling to meet guy adds complexity to it all as she had to ask guy to stump the cost, etc.
Definitely some stalking going on here.

Online msmob

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #19 on: January 03, 2019, 12:08:38 AM »
Definitely some stalking going on here.

There's that whooshing sound ( again )  of irony...passing right over your head ;)


Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #20 on: January 03, 2019, 12:09:04 AM »
Definitely some stalking going on here.

She gave me her details in the past so I already  had her first name & surname. We never connected though as she wanted to see my life for real - i.e the tourist visa issue.

Possibly I may be able to bring her up on Skype etc. and ask why though I'm not sure if there's much point in it but rather to move on.

Online msmob

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #21 on: January 03, 2019, 12:12:32 AM »
I'm not sure if there's much point in it but rather to move on.

In all seriousness, JG had a point .. You never got off the ground.. She's not seeking your attention / nor slagging you off...

Let her be

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2019, 12:29:19 AM »
In all seriousness, JG had a point .. You never got off the ground.. She's not seeking your attention / nor slagging you off...

Let her be

True but regardless that it never got of the ground and our issues I still care that she is ok. I don't really even know if she is still alive. From what she told me she didn't like her living situation where she was.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2019, 12:51:17 AM by Trenchcoat »

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #23 on: January 03, 2019, 02:29:11 AM »
Ok call me bad.  Hopefully my real I d will never come to light and I'm posting to help wake up others and get some advice for myself.  I read enough by scrolling back about 3 weeks to know they met in Dubai about 6 months ago and it was sexual and a few other holidays.  Now she told me this relationship ended summer 18 we got together october.  His present texts are asking to meet January February march.  From what I can tell they had a phone call the day before I arrived and she has not picked up a lot of call while I've been here.  I arrive back UK 13 January.  My present plan live life Ukraine as normal and end the relationship when back in UK.  There had been talk of marriage and relocating and me supporting her as she retrained I now realise maybe even this was a red flag.  Strangely looking at her phone caused me to end a 21 year marriage and the next 3 year relationship because I was being 2 timed.  So what would you do ?

Online msmob

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #24 on: January 03, 2019, 02:50:33 AM »
Hmm, You've had a lady ( or two ) cheat on you ..

She doesn't appear to have responded while you've been there and that is a 'good' sign ... ?  He isn't THAT important to her  - or she'd have found a way TO respond to him ...

Talk it over - do not wait until you're home ...  and do not announce she's dumped - yet ..










 

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