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Author Topic: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone  (Read 5225 times)

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Online John Gaunt

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #50 on: January 03, 2019, 10:41:17 AM »
With my ex wife 19 years and past gf of 3 years I contacted the other guy but in both cases they united against me so I know that's not a solution.
Why would you want to do that? The issue is with your gf. Without knowing much about your history with this girl itís a bit difficult to give an opinion on the probable nature of the relationship. However, if there has been a commitment made after which she has been communicating with her former fb then you need to extricate yourself without any further delay.


Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #51 on: January 03, 2019, 11:29:24 AM »
A year or so ago I was thinking the same as James about it being beneficial to move in with the girl to really get to know her. From a western perspective that makes sence and nice for us WM to have that. I do however think Boethius is probably more right and she makes some very good points including my earlier point that this girl is hedging her bets ;). FSW I think tend to think differently and have different conventions than in the west and this perplexes us western men, particularly as I was and still am a little with not a lot of knowledge on how they work. I think they are almost pre-programmed by society to act a certain way in dating & relationships as a generalisation. Some will vary a bit but most will have these conventions as routes to proceed along.

I think that is why they united against you in previous relationships James, to them it was a perfectly usual convention to do that but in the west of course we call it two timing, etc So FSW probably don't understand by western standards its not on to carry on that way and she probably won't understand it even if explained to her.

So I think it just comes down to a choice of whether you want to stick it out with her ir call it a day and use the remiaing days in Ukraine to try again.


A few months ago I was communicating with a girl in Minsk, Belarus. She was pretty, at least a 9 or so. She seemed fine communicating with me until I asked her why it took her so long to get back to me. In her message she snapped back 'You haven't done anything for me yet, I have my life, you are at the stage of an epal, if you pretend for something else please work on it' etc, etc like a stiff cold wind snapping around my arse. She also stated she could comunicate with whoever she wanted! Further efforts at alleviating the situation got nowhere, she probably got it from a lot of men and did'nt understand that in the west a woman hedging her bets even in message form can be seen as disengenious.

So it certainly seems to me to FSW the more commitment given the more commitment back in return.
No Deal is Ideal :)

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #52 on: January 03, 2019, 11:33:46 AM »
Any once else starting to wonder in James is really Trench's alter ego? :popcorn:

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #53 on: January 03, 2019, 11:54:16 AM »
A few months ago I was communicating with a girl in Minsk, Belarus. She was pretty, at least a 9 or so. She seemed fine communicating with me until I asked her why it took her so long to get back to me. In her message she snapped back 'You haven't done anything for me yet, I have my life, you are at the stage of an epal, if you pretend for something else please work on it' etc, etc like a stiff cold wind snapping around my arse. She also stated she could comunicate with whoever she wanted! Further efforts at alleviating the situation got nowhere, she probably got it from a lot of men and did'nt understand that in the west a woman hedging her bets even in message form can be seen as disengenious.

What makes you think WW are any different?  The only difference is that, as we are not a proletarian culture, a WW will be polite to you in answering such questions.  She would essentially tell you the same thing, but indirectly.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2019, 12:00:12 PM by Boethius »
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #54 on: January 03, 2019, 12:06:37 PM »
What makes you think WW are any different?  The only difference is that, as we are not a proletarian culture, a WW will be polite to you in answering such questions.  She would essentially tell you the same thing, but indirectly.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

I would say what a WW would say would sound much the same but in reality would come from an entirely different angle. A WW would say it more from a feminist angle a FSW would say it more from a strategic dating angle in which she was brought up in.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #55 on: January 03, 2019, 12:13:01 PM »
Wrong on both counts.

WW employed the same strategies before feminism.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #56 on: January 03, 2019, 12:18:30 PM »
Any once else starting to wonder in James is really Trench's alter ego? :popcorn:

I can see how some might think that James is approaching FSU dating from a western perspective how I startedid off and to some extent probably still am as it's all he's got to go by. More experienced members are no doubt more in tune with FSU dating. Remember though, I don't go for single mothers ;)

Not meaning to upset James but can't help but think of the moment the kid handed James the phone, it's the kind of perversely comical moments you can just get in FSU dating!
No Deal is Ideal :)

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #57 on: January 03, 2019, 12:30:39 PM »
I can see how some might think that James is approaching FSU dating from a western perspective how I startedid off and to some extent probably still am as it's all he's got to go by. More experienced members are no doubt more in tune with FSU dating. Remember though, I don't go for single mothers ;)

Not meaning to upset James but can't help but think of the moment the kid handed James the phone, it's the kind of perversely comical moments you can just get in FSU dating!


Yes, I'm sure he found it highly comical!  :wallbash:

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #58 on: January 03, 2019, 12:39:31 PM »
I can see how some might think that James is approaching FSU dating from a western perspective how I startedid off and to some extent probably still am as it's all he's got to go by. More experienced members are no doubt more in tune with FSU dating. Remember though, I don't go for single mothers ;)

Not meaning to upset James but can't help but think of the moment the kid handed James the phone, it's the kind of perversely comical moments you can just get in FSU dating!

Who the hell are you to call him inexperienced, someone with 5 relationships with FSU women?
That's more relationship then you managed to get dates in FSU.

and you had what, a whole one! and I hardly call that a relationship since you only where fu**buddies

Hi all I'm a UK guy.  Having had a rough divorce from a UK woman I'm now dating a beautiful Ukranain she has a 5 year old son from her first marriage.  I've read all the official UK government paperwork but would like some advice on the process of moving this little family to the UK.  Her ex hasn't seen his son for 4 years.  She is my 5th FSU relationship and I have the experience to say they were all so much better than UK women.
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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #59 on: January 03, 2019, 01:09:57 PM »
Who the hell are you to call him inexperienced, someone with 5 relationships with FSU women?
That's more relationship then you managed to get dates in FSU.

and you had what, a whole one! and I hardly call that a relationship since you only where fu**buddies

I'm not saying I am more experienced than him but that he and of course I are not experienced as some other forum members. Taking nothing away from James I do think though that knowing who not to have a relationship with does also count. If you have a relationship with the first girl up, girl after girl there may not have been the due diligence necessary given.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #60 on: January 03, 2019, 01:22:35 PM »
but I say this without been in that situation, I never opened pandoras box... I trust my girl 100% and I know she is both being courted online and offline, and she tells me all about it, heck one guy figured out where she lives and came there bringing a huge bouquet of roses and chocolate asking her out - knowing full well - she was in a relationship with me.
She thanked him for the gifts, closed the door, called me on Skype and told me all about it while enjoying the chocolate and smeeling the roses :D :D

Yeah you may not be the genius you made yourself out to be or think you are, lol.

You 'trust your girl' and allow her to carry on messaging with other guys online. So essentially she is online dating other guys/potential candidates while seeing you. I don't see that one ending well :ROFL:

Then she tells you about a guy who tracked her down and gave her chocolates. Well he must have found out a fair bit about her through their messaging to do that. She didn't refuse the chocolates, perhaps she was laughing at you while you were laughing.

The way she handled it for all she knows guy might have turned out to one of your mates so she covered herself nicely by telling you ;) Don't consider yourself so lofty to be am insider Nightwish, you are likely to end up with egg on your face if you do.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #61 on: January 03, 2019, 01:29:43 PM »
No I'm not trench but I'm less anti trench than many I'd say hes the extreme version of me.  Anyway brought it up with gf and got the answer some stated I would get along the lines of too soon for exclusive and it's her life and apartment.  So I'm going to wait for my flight home smile and joke with her about the situation and I think end it.  Finished the conversation and went out sledging as if nothing happened.  I'm not a man to live like a lap dog.  Maybe a real clash of cultures or I just have a very strange mind set about exclusivity that's out of date.  To be continued ...  hope it helps others to keep their eyes open.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #62 on: January 03, 2019, 01:51:23 PM »
It can be a mistake to ask but at the same time it can be a learning experience. I asked FSW stuff I dated and learnt from it. I think dating in the FSU has a lot to do with learning their dating culture. She is probably oblivious to what her actions mean for WM. If you contacted the other guy he's reaction would probably be much the same as yours I'm guessing. Another path open to you could be to show the girl commitment and see how she responds.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Online lyndontom

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #63 on: January 03, 2019, 02:00:25 PM »
No I'm not trench but I'm less anti trench than many I'd say hes the extreme version of me.  Anyway brought it up with gf and got the answer some stated I would get along the lines of too soon for exclusive and it's her life and apartment.  So I'm going to wait for my flight home smile and joke with her about the situation and I think end it.  Finished the conversation and went out sledging as if nothing happened.  I'm not a man to live like a lap dog.  Maybe a real clash of cultures or I just have a very strange mind set about exclusivity that's out of date.  To be continued ...  hope it helps others to keep their eyes open.


Not going to be a lap dog but still happy to live under her roof. Some men would grow a pair  >:D

Online SteveInBoston

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #64 on: January 03, 2019, 02:12:17 PM »
No I'm not trench but I'm less anti trench than many I'd say hes the extreme version of me.  Anyway brought it up with gf and got the answer some stated I would get along the lines of too soon for exclusive and it's her life and apartment.  So I'm going to wait for my flight home smile and joke with her about the situation and I think end it.  Finished the conversation and went out sledging as if nothing happened.  I'm not a man to live like a lap dog.  Maybe a real clash of cultures or I just have a very strange mind set about exclusivity that's out of date.  To be continued ...  hope it helps others to keep their eyes open.

So, it looks like you have trust issues due to past experiences.  It could be you had a string of bad luck.  Or is part of it something you are doing, or not doing?  You've spent 2-3 weeks with her at her place...have you done anything to win her over?  Make yourself stand out so that she feels you are the "one"?  Or are you just a generic guy happy to sit on the couch and get fed and "serviced"?

On one hand it is good news - she is not desperate to leave with just anyone offering an EU/UK passport.  The bad news is that you have to be a bit more exceptional.

If it's not going anywhere, why worry about ifs and buts?  You had a nice winter fling.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2019, 02:42:18 PM by SteveInBoston »

Online Nightwish

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #65 on: January 03, 2019, 02:15:28 PM »
Yeah you may not be the genius you made yourself out to be or think you are, lol.

You 'trust your girl' and allow her to carry on messaging with other guys online. So essentially she is online dating other guys/potential candidates while seeing you. I don't see that one ending well :ROFL:

Then she tells you about a guy who tracked her down and gave her chocolates. Well he must have found out a fair bit about her through their messaging to do that. She didn't refuse the chocolates, perhaps she was laughing at you while you were laughing.

The way she handled it for all she knows guy might have turned out to one of your mates so she covered herself nicely by telling you ;) Don't consider yourself so lofty to be am insider Nightwish, you are likely to end up with egg on your face if you do.

Sorry to disappoint you trenchy boy, but she has a quite big online persona, both open Facebook and Instagram, due to both being very extrovert and bcs of her business.
She has pictures of us on both on them, in all kinds of situations, clearly stated in a relationship, and guys still hit on her both openly and in messaging, and yes they do send her messages and she never replies to any of them. Instead she shows me sometimes what they write, sometimes we spend an evening just looking through her inbox and laughs, sometimes she replies with a snarky comment and blocks them.

I am fully aware this is something you never could deal with, trusting a woman to be faithful, trusting a woman not to be only after money, trusting a woman in general, we all know you would never do that, better tie them to the bed and kitchen and put kids in her nonstop so no one else wants her. (Trench philosophy of life - let's see how that turns out for you)

All men are not as weak as you..if man is even a word for what you are
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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #66 on: January 03, 2019, 02:29:48 PM »
Sorry to disappoint you trenchy boy, but she has a quite big online persona, both open Facebook and Instagram, due to both being very extrovert and bcs of her business.
She has pictures of us on both on them, in all kinds of situations, clearly stated in a relationship, and guys still hit on her both openly and in messaging, and yes they do send her messages and she never replies to any of them. Instead she shows me sometimes what they write, sometimes we spend an evening just looking through her inbox and laughs, sometimes she replies with a snarky comment and blocks them.

I am fully aware this is something you never could deal with, trusting a woman to be faithful, trusting a woman not to be only after money, trusting a woman in general, we all know you would never do that, better tie them to the bed and kitchen and put kids in her nonstop so no one else wants her. (Trench philosophy of life - let's see how that turns out for you)

All men are not as weak as you..if man is even a word for what you are

Oh I'm sorry you obviously just rely on your own Mojo which no other guy has got.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #67 on: January 03, 2019, 02:46:43 PM »
Well I've rebuilt all the badly installed kitchen and bedroom draws.  Done the shopping .  Cared for a 5 year old while she was at work and gym and her mum's.  Done a bit of shopping so I've done ok pulling my weight

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #68 on: January 03, 2019, 02:49:34 PM »
Well I've rebuilt all the badly installed kitchen and bedroom draws.  Done the shopping .  Cared for a 5 year old while she was at work and gym and her mum's.  Done a bit of shopping so I've done ok pulling my weight

Yep, she's hasn't done badly out of it then :D
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #69 on: January 03, 2019, 02:49:43 PM »
I'm told the other guy is wealthy and older than me.  I would say I was well off before my divorce but now I'm definetly British average. 

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #70 on: January 03, 2019, 02:53:57 PM »
As to balls and getting out there's a fair amount of logistics to this.

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #71 on: January 03, 2019, 02:55:55 PM »
Plus this girl has got under my skin certainly nice to hang out with

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #72 on: January 03, 2019, 02:59:57 PM »
So you're happy to go out and play in the snow and pretend nothing has happened, stay under her roof, sleep in her bed, have sex with her...and then dump her when you arrive home? Sounds like the sort of classy behaviour we'd expect from another board member around here.

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #73 on: January 03, 2019, 03:09:00 PM »
As to balls and getting out there's a fair amount of logistics to this.

Can't think of who you are refering to Lyndon  ;D

I agree, cost of another airline ticket for an earlier flight home, re - arrange travel times etc. It's why I say if it were me I would book into Hotel Ukraine in Kiev City Centre. Ask for a room one up from the standard overlooking Maidan 'Independence Square' - great view. They used to do morning buffet breakfast all in with the room price and probably still do. There breakfast dining room is huge & grand with a good choice of stuff to eat again with great views over 'Maidan', nice & high up, you can see a lot of the city centre from there. For a week this time of year it will probably only cost you around £150. Look up on their website and see what you can get. Then log onto the online dating sites and message a few women that catch your eye.

That's of course if your ready to throw the towel in with your present lady.
No Deal is Ideal :)

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #74 on: January 03, 2019, 03:20:49 PM »
Can't think of who you are refering to Lyndon  ;D

I agree, cost of another airline ticket for an earlier flight home, re - arrange travel times etc. It's why I say if it were me I would book into Hotel Ukraine in Kiev City Centre. Ask for a room one up from the standard overlooking Maidan 'Independence Square' - great view. They used to do morning buffet breakfast all in with the room price and probably still do. There breakfast dining room is huge & grand with a good choice of stuff to eat again with great views over 'Maidan', nice & high up, you can see a lot of the city centre from there. For a week this time of year it will probably only cost you around £150. Look up on their website and see what you can get. Then log onto the online dating sites and message a few women that catch your eye.

That's of course if your ready to throw the towel in with your present lady.
Hey Trench

The only time Iíve ever stayed in a hotel in Kyiv was at the Premier Palace. Look it up.
A tad classier than that place you mentioned.
Unlike you, I like the finer things in life and donít mind paying for them.

 

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