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Author Topic: fsu dating advice please  (Read 6557 times)

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Offline Jamesukjames

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fsu dating advice please
« on: January 19, 2019, 06:20:55 AM »
In the vein of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  Some structured criticism please. I married young  3 kids divorced after 19 years because I realised ex was playing away multiple times.  3 year uk relationship until I ended the relationship because I realised she was having affairs.  Then my first Belarus who got me addicted to fsu she looked better than a young pamela Anderson but she had so many options I was just a 4 month fling.  Then lived with a Belarus and her son , everything was ok until I suggested moving to the uk,  then the ex husbands family just waded in re the son,  little fling with a Latvian who was so boring,  onto a complete disaster with a ukranian who I eventually figured out had an English sugar daddy and was chasing a uk passport.  kiev little few day relationship with a woman who I now figure was on backhanders from restaurants and taxis but kept my bed warm and showed me the sights.  Now back on fdating Ukraine Im thinking of meeting an unemployed woman who via whats app ive seen lives in a nice apartment, nice clothes, sleeps odd times of the day and night , eats English chocolate and tea.  My spider senses are on red alert but my little brain likes the curves.  I tell my story to give others an insight into one mans reality but also Id like some views about whats going on with this future date.  Sorry if my story is not clean enough for some but its my reality.  Id like to live with one woman for the rest of my life and apart from kiev I entered all relationships with that intention .  So fellow spartans a kicking please I do find it useful as a way of keeping my eyes open
« Last Edit: January 19, 2019, 06:35:53 AM by Jamesukjames »

Offline The Natural

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2019, 10:55:07 AM »
Just an idea, but I don't know how relevant it is in your case and it will take time.
What about finding some real good friends in FSU, but not in a romantic way. Let's say you have an interest, can be anything. You go international and try to strike up friendship with someone in FSU, maybe multiple people. I'm talking here real friendship where you invest time and interest and communicate on a regular basis and establish trust.
You then ask your new friends to suggest a suitable woman from their circle of family/friends. In this way you know they will suggest only serious women and she will trust you to be a serious man.
I'm married myself, but I know that if I were looking, my friends in Donetsk would suggest someone from their vast circle of friends both in Ukraine and Russia.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2019, 10:56:45 AM »
In the vein of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche was a weirdo. 

Polio might not kill you but it won't make you stronger.

My spider senses are on red alert but my little brain likes the curves.


Do you want another series of short passionate relationships that end in failure?
Do you still have unfinished business? Have you always wanted to bang a cRaZy
redhead and still want to do it?

Have you not dated enough bad girls yet to get it out of your system?

Do you want to find fixer upper girls and try to fix them? Broken girls can't be fixed
and character flaws don't go away.

Until you've decided that you want to find a good girl for marriage nobody at the
forum can help you. If you still need to get the before marriage bucket list checked
off then go do that and come back here when you are ready. You don't need to bother
any good girls until you are ready.

When you are ready: 

I highly recommend making a written list of exactly what you want in a woman. I also
highly recommend making a list right under the first list of things you don't want. You
don't need to make these lists public, but it will help you keep your eye on the prize.

You can compromise on many things on your list maybe you wanted a C cup but you
found an excellent girl with a B cup then you compromise, but never, ever, ever, ever,
compromise on character.

Once you've gotten your wild oats sown and your two lists done come back and we
can get you pointed in the right direction.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2019, 11:02:04 AM »
James, I think it's a case of learning what went wrong and how to avoid hitting the same problems in future. That said no two girls you date may have the same issues. Have you considered meeting this next girl as part of a visit many strategy? So you are not spending the week or so with one girl only to find out she's another fools errand. You could spend one day with her and already have lined up other girls to meet on other days, say meet  one girl a day roughly. ML explains one way how to do this on his sticky note thread up the top. It's what I am going to attempt next for a visit in about a couple of months or so :)
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline The Natural

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2019, 11:12:08 AM »
It's what I am going to attempt next for a visit in about a couple of months or so :)


Where will you go?

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2019, 11:15:02 AM »
2 good answers that I will re read.  I'm looking for my final relationship.  Vasectomy so unlikely to go down the baby route again.  A woman who has her own children as I realise that makes a balance.  Really like the idea of going back to Minsk and meeting up with people I know rather than dating and looking around the friendship group as I feel a little Jaded at present.

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2019, 11:20:26 AM »
Trench ive never been any good at bluffing and its not my scene id rather fly in for a week meet one and if it doesn't work then go off solo and see what happens.  Also I believe in karma if you date many then so should she and that's not for me either.   Also to date many at some point you must tell a lie not something I do.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2019, 03:05:07 PM »

Where will you go?

Minsk is currently my preffered option. I like Kiev it's where I first started on this venture but like amount of Ukraine so much BS can go on their with the women, plus Russian tanks bumping around on the border.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2019, 03:06:49 PM »
Trench ive never been any good at bluffing and its not my scene id rather fly in for a week meet one and if it doesn't work then go off solo and see what happens.  Also I believe in karma if you date many then so should she and that's not for me either.   Also to date many at some point you must tell a lie not something I do.

You're probably right James, otherwise you'lld end up having a sexathon ;D
No Deal is Ideal :)

Online msmob

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2019, 06:00:20 PM »
James

You have serious trust issues..

You trust someone telling you porkies and don't believe the truth when you see it ))




Offline Jumper

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2019, 06:40:41 PM »
  I think you already realize that randomly meeting  someone from another culture and background, when not really knowing that much about them personally yet,leads to expected rather random results.

I'm not knocking that,as it's how most people have met their spouses over recent history.
Date,rinse, repeat until something clicks more long term for both people.
It obviously works ,but has its issues .

I'd suggest that even though you are close enough to just hop over and meet anyone, most anytime,  that you may want to take more time initially.

Odd, as I normally suggest guys just meet anyone, as quick as they feel there is some degree of connection.

In your case since you have already had a few rounds if that and jaded yourself some, you could take it a bit slower.
   Perhaps ,take a deep breath, relax,
and just  go thru contacts and communications until domonevreally stands out, cultivate a connection to point you both truly feel you know each other a bit and want to meet on more than a whim.

 I'm far more of a meet on a whim person , lol
but in the case of my wife, I  felt through lots of communication that I knew her pretty well before we met.
  Granted it could have easily  been nothing within 5 seconds of meeting,but it turned out she was exactly who I thought she was, and even more amazing she actually liked who I was.
Things went from there.

I guess I feel you dint seem to sort out what kind of person they are before meeting,or you knew and decided to give it a whirl anyway.
    Obviously noone can truly know someone well initially, but you should be able to have a pretty good idea of them.
If you were having good luck in them having good character or being in sync with you on life outlook,and merely had nornal relationship or chemistry false starts , I certainly wouldn't advise you to change anything.
  To me it just seems you have a higher than average rate of  untenable developments come up that indicate maybe meeting a tad quickly.

Again  sorting those scenarios  out in person is just fine as well,
personally I'd tire of the false starts UF I thought a bit more  initial communication would help it.
.

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2019, 01:45:14 AM »
Jumper good point.  In the UK I had over 100 face to face first dates to meet one lady to have a relationship with.  Most UK women had used photo shop and old pictures and told lies in their profiles. I had a nice relationship  with a well educated 9 who started dating others behind my back when I had to go to court the 4 and 5 th time with my divorce .  With f dating the photos tend to be genuine the women are friendly and engaging and relationships seem to escalate very quickly.   I was raised by a Belarus grandmother and a military grandfather I never really fitted in to UK family ways  but in Belarus and Ukraine  I seem to fit in and relationships escalate quickly.  Either that or they're hooking me in to take advantage.   By nature the women seem more sexual than UK women.  I've never had a first date in the fsu that has not lead to a relationship.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2019, 03:39:11 AM »
Jumper good point.  In the UK I had over 100 face to face first dates to meet one lady to have a relationship with.  Most UK women had used photo shop and old pictures and told lies in their profiles. I had a nice relationship  with a well educated 9 who started dating others behind my back when I had to go to court the 4 and 5 th time with my divorce . 

That's what I mean when I say on this forum if you take a girl back from the FSU who is an 8-10 she isn't going to last long. People say I'm paranoid but the truth is unless you're on your guard loads of guys will be hitting on her. That's going to be difficult for a girl not to get carried away by her new found glory. Even a 5-7 may be subject to play away 'once they realise their worth in the UK'. As you yourself know James being a UK guy even a minger of a girl has options here lol. Hence why if I had around 1k a month independent income or could earn remotely I would consider living in the FSU.

That is of course once she realises her worth here, play it right and that could take a while. Either that or be lucky enough to get a girl that will remain loyal if only for a more comfortable  lifestyle.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2019, 03:55:41 AM »
Tend to agree with you trench.   Society has moved on to the point women are as faithful as cats and men are as faithful as dogs.  Even my Russian Latvian male friends admit that their wives who are off the scale in the UK are normal looking women that go relatively un noticed in Minsk.

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2019, 03:59:55 AM »
Having said that women who are single because their husband went off with another woman tend to be a better bet than those that just drifted apart.  Because drifting apart I find means she had an affair that didn't last.

Online msmob

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2019, 05:07:26 AM »
That's what I mean when I say on this forum if you take a girl back from the FSU who is an 8-10 she isn't going to last long. People say I'm paranoid but the truth is unless you're on your guard loads of guys will be hitting on her.

Trench,

Why are you in this 'game' ?

OF COURSE guys are going to hit on 'your woman' - probably for the very reason you might have chosen her ..

Even though I got dumped by my former RU wife to be - I am certain she didn't play away from home and knew I never would ...  I have never been two-timed in my life ...( YET ! )

Could it be you and James keep choosing the wrong woman ?





Online Trenchcoat

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2019, 05:19:16 AM »
Exactly, people from other western countries don't know how competitive things are in the UK. Just tge other day I was training a guy up at work. All while I was doing this he was trying to score points and make a name for himself with the rest of tge workforce whenever they were around/whenever he could. All for a basic wage job that you could pick up anywhere, just so irritating and needless. I just kept my composure as anything else just makes matters worse and ride it out for the duration.

Now that guy was about a decade younger than me so how do you think he would have behaved had I a hottie FSW in he's eyesight? That's right he would have been unashamedly all over her like a rash, probably even brazenly in front of my eyes trying to score points of her. I've no doubt such a girl would beat any girl of the council estate he came off. Hence why if I were to bring back a girl from the FSU, even a 5-7, I would play it very careful on how my life was set up with her. Too many guys out there with just no scruples about hitting on women already with a guy and only caring about number 1. Unfortunately a lot of nasty people around these days, just no moral values what so ever.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Online John Gaunt

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2019, 06:00:53 AM »
Exactly, people from other western countries don't know how competitive things are in the UK. Just tge other day I was training a guy up at work. All while I was doing this he was trying to score points and make a name for himself with the rest of tge workforce whenever they were around/whenever he could. All for a basic wage job that you could pick up anywhere, just so irritating and needless. I just kept my composure as anything else just makes matters worse and ride it out for the duration.

Now that guy was about a decade younger than me so how do you think he would have behaved had I a hottie FSW in he's eyesight? That's right he would have been unashamedly all over her like a rash, probably even brazenly in front of my eyes trying to score points of her. I've no doubt such a girl would beat any girl of the council estate he came off. Hence why if I were to bring back a girl from the FSU, even a 5-7, I would play it very careful on how my life was set up with her. Too many guys out there with just no scruples about hitting on women already with a guy and only caring about number 1. Unfortunately a lot of nasty people around these days, just no moral values what so ever.
Sorry but this is just more cobblers from Trench.
It doesnt matter at all where your woman is from. If the foundation of your relationship has no footings then theres trouble ahead for you.
Doesnt matter if shes a council estate bint or a FSU 10.
Theres nothing new here, attached attractive women everywhere attract attention. It doesnt mean they succumb to the advances of the first bloke that hits on them, whether hes their personal trainer or the bus boy.
Its only insecure blokes like you who have such obvious shortcomings who know that their relationships with women are tenuous under the best of circumstances.
People like myself, on the other hand, walk around with my beautiful wife on my arm, wearing the Louboutain shoes I got her for Christmas and have a quiet chuckle at seeing the heads turn.

Online SteveInBoston

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2019, 06:14:00 AM »
I've never had a first date in the fsu that has not lead to a relationship.

Why is that?  Do you jump into a relationship with just anyone you find attractive?

If you are happy with that, stick with it until you have your fill.  Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and find something that lasts. 

On the flip side you are in a relationship with women who jump into a relationship with their first date.  Why is it surprising if they develop wondering eyes after a while?

Online lyndontom

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2019, 07:18:27 AM »
That's what I mean when I say on this forum if you take a girl back from the FSU who is an 8-10 she isn't going to last long. People say I'm paranoid but the truth is unless you're on your guard loads of guys will be hitting on her. That's going to be difficult for a girl not to get carried away by her new found glory. Even a 5-7 may be subject to play away 'once they realise their worth in the UK'. As you yourself know James being a UK guy even a minger of a girl has options here lol. Hence why if I had around 1k a month independent income or could earn remotely I would consider living in the FSU.

That is of course once she realises her worth here, play it right and that could take a while. Either that or be lucky enough to get a girl that will remain loyal if only for a more comfortable  lifestyle.


That's exactly why you should be looking to meet the right woman - not just one who looks like a 9 or a 10. When is the penny finally going to drop?


Your paranoia (amongst other things) will not allow you to be ever successful in this venture. You have serious issues when it comes to trust and women in general.

Online msmob

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2019, 08:14:42 AM »
Exactly, people from other western countries don't know how competitive things are in the UK.

 :ROFL:

Only for the likes of you, Trenchie ..

You KEEP being told ... Most guys searching in the FSU have no problem pulling in their home country ...

You need to ask yourself , "Where am I going wrong?"

Start with your attitude / 'humour' ..

 

Offline Steamer

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2019, 09:23:00 AM »
That's what I mean when I say on this forum if you take a girl back from the FSU who is an 8-10 she isn't going to last long. People say I'm paranoid but the truth is unless you're on your guard loads of guys will be hitting on her. That's going to be difficult for a girl not to get carried away by her new found glory. Even a 5-7 may be subject to play away 'once they realise their worth in the UK'. As you yourself know James being a UK guy even a minger of a girl has options here lol. Hence why if I had around 1k a month independent income or could earn remotely I would consider living in the FSU.

That is of course once she realises her worth here, play it right and that could take a while. Either that or be lucky enough to get a girl that will remain loyal if only for a more comfortable  lifestyle.


That sounds like the attitude of a 20 something female from anywhere.
My wife has a saying 'Boyfriends are very easy to get however Husbands (good ones) are far more difficult to find.


For the sake of honesty my wife could have found someone more attractive than me at the local Pet Shop.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2019, 09:24:40 AM by Steamer »
Life ain't nothing but a poker game
And no two hands are quite the same
But I never saw a winner that didn't bet

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2019, 09:33:53 AM »

That sounds like the attitude of a 20 something female from anywhere.
My wife has a saying 'Boyfriends are very easy to get however Husbands (good ones) are far more difficult to find.


For the sake of honesty my wife could have found someone more attractive than me at the local Pet Shop.

Good to see someone who is honest Steamer :) I find that often many guys are oblivious to why the girl is with them or prefer to ignore the truth. Like I said to another poster who didn't take it too well the ability to be introspective is not a quality that everyone is able to grasp.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2019, 11:36:19 AM »
That's what I mean when I say on this forum if you take a girl back from the FSU who is an 8-10 she isn't going to last long. People say I'm paranoid but the truth is unless you're on your guard loads of guys will be hitting on her. That's going to be difficult for a girl not to get carried away by her new found glory.

Almost every woman with a decent figure gets hit on a lot.  Our daughter was hit on in Ukraine, so, so much for your theory there.

As many here know, I married during Soviet times.  My husband was not allowed to emigrate, and I was not allowed to return.  So, I was a woman in her twenties, married, but without my husband for seven years. I can't even count the number of times I was hit on. It even happened occasionally after my husband arrived, but since I never went out, those situations were confined to work.  Guess what?  Not once did I take up an offer, not once was I even tempted because I have always been m
adly in love with my husband.  Meanwhile, in the USSR, where the state's goal was to break families, my husband was being told left and right his wife was being unfaithful to him.  Of course, being a man, one confident in his worth, he dismissed those provocations for what they were.

If you manage to find someone who actually loves you, this is a non issue.  But what will drive a woman away is your attitudes.  That is why you are unsuccessful with women in the UK.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2019, 11:43:51 AM by Boethius »
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: fsu dating advice please
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2019, 12:01:20 PM »
Lyndon less hard on trench he speaks the truth about personality types.  Uk and f s u have totally different mind sets.  Treat a f s u woman right she will treat you right.  Uk women have been force fed feminism and tend to be just plain horrible.  Polish women are nice too.  The educational level of your average UK woman is so much lower than fsu women

 

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