Just another introduction

[CaptB]

"A holiday can not doom a relationship....................... (On vacation) the day to day life of a person is not necessarily on display"


If the FSUW woman is real and sincere.....all of them I met would have no problem meeting sooner than later.....even for a weekend visit. I have always advocated meeting "first" in her hometown......then if things don't work (no chemistry etc.) ,the time wasted is kept to a minimum. If things do work out then you can plan for a longer visit....and maybe have a "vacation". The problem with having a "vacation" first is that you may not be with her as she is during her day to day life. My meeting her in her home city first you will have the following to your advantage:


1) You will see her in her natural element.


2) You will meet her friends, relatives and coworkers.....and see how "they".......regard....."her"


3) You will see that maybe she does not want you to meet certain folks......or visit certain places.....in her home environment.


All of the RW I met......who were legit......had no problem meeting in their hometowns.....meeting friends, relatives or coworkers. As far as meeting my wife of fifteen years.....all of her friends, relatives & coworkers.....LET ME KNOW in no uncertain terms....that I was very lucky that she even let me visit her. She was everybody's favorite person. Honest and caring of others....to a fault. On vacation.....you are (both) on vacation. Most people are usually on good behavior on vacation......especially if someone else is paying for it. I find the fact that the OP's FSUW does not want to meet for a few days....a red flag. But going on vacation later is OK. Go on vacation....have a good time.....and things may seem ok. But meeting her in her natural element at a later date means you will have paid for two long visits before you really see how she is in her day-to-day life. Learning about her from a short weekend
visit is much less a waste of time and money. I practiced what I preach. The women I visited never gave me flack about visiting in their home towns.............first. I always tried to make a first visit in February or march. The weather is crappier.......but plane tickets are cheaper. Then if things work out.....in a few months you can relax and go on vacation......knowing you have a better idea of what she is like.....in her day to day environment.


Capt B


P.S. I am ex Coast Guard and used an agency for my first trip.

[Boethius]

It wasn't the woman who objected to OP visiting Russia.  OP posted that his employer does not want him to go to Russia.  So, it's off the table, and they've decided for a vacation together.


You think you can "know" a person by seeing them in their everyday life.  But you don't really know a person until you start living with him/her.  Visiting someone in their home environment, if they work, just gives you the rhythms of their days.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

[DCcowboy]

You think you can "know" a person by seeing them in their everyday life.  But you don't really know a person until you start living with him/her.  Visiting someone in their home environment, if they work, just gives you the rhythms of their days.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

Very smart statement.

[DCcowboy]

"A holiday can not doom a relationship....................... (On vacation) the day to day life of a person is not necessarily on display"


If the FSUW woman is real and sincere.....all of them I met would have no problem meeting sooner than later.....even for a weekend visit. I have always advocated meeting "first" in her hometown......then if things don't work (no chemistry etc.) ,the time wasted is kept to a minimum. If things do work out then you can plan for a longer visit....and maybe have a "vacation". The problem with having a "vacation" first is that you may not be with her as she is during her day to day life. My meeting her in her home city first you will have the following to your advantage:


1) You will see her in her natural element.


2) You will meet her friends, relatives and coworkers.....and see how "they".......regard....."her"


3) You will see that maybe she does not want you to meet certain folks......or visit certain places.....in her home environment.


All of the RW I met......who were legit......had no problem meeting in their hometowns.....meeting friends, relatives or coworkers. As far as meeting my wife of fifteen years.....all of her friends, relatives & coworkers.....LET ME KNOW in no uncertain terms....that I was very lucky that she even let me visit her. She was everybody's favorite person. Honest and caring of others....to a fault. On vacation.....you are (both) on vacation. Most people are usually on good behavior on vacation......especially if someone else is paying for it. I find the fact that the OP's FSUW does not want to meet for a few days....a red flag. But going on vacation later is OK. Go on vacation....have a good time.....and things may seem ok. But meeting her in her natural element at a later date means you will have paid for two long visits before you really see how she is in her day-to-day life. Learning about her from a short weekend
visit is much less a waste of time and money. I practiced what I preach. The women I visited never gave me flack about visiting in their home towns.............first. I always tried to make a first visit in February or march. The weather is crappier.......but plane tickets are cheaper. Then if things work out.....in a few months you can relax and go on vacation......knowing you have a better idea of what she is like.....in her day to day environment.


Capt B


P.S. I am ex Coast Guard and used an agency for my first trip.

I understand what you are saying and agree to it, but my employer will not allow travel to a country hostel to the US. I'm not not going to go into why or who I work for so please don't ask. Before I checked with employer the alternative plan to her not getting a visa was for me to visit her.  She was even willing to entertain a "short" trip.  But preferred a longer trip staying with her in Russia or vice versa her in US.

[DCcowboy]

Cheaper????
Have you ever spent 2-3 thousand on a date before??? Never mind the costs of your communication......

wow... Do you just go on one date? In the past I tended to go on several a week..... Spending on average $80-$150 per date. Sometimes on a long weekend away could be $1000. So yeah.... ppl in cheaper.

[DCcowboy]

A few have queried why this way -- so - a fwiw !
It is possible -- that she has obligations to the web site ie she needs to keep some action there to stay listed -- or may owe them in some way or  another.

Second --it does not necessarily cost anything more than a flat monthly fee to write there ie it is not a cost each time.

Stating the obvious -- it would be simple enough to do all communication through Skype -- but -- why not email?
Does the op have an email address?
A phone number?
Her full name?
Even if a no on each count -- I do not necessarily call all that a no no !

I am far more bothered by the meeting in another country  issue -- it creates a very false situation  and would give me little confidence in her bona fides.

Translation these days is a simple thing --even in comparison  to a few years ago --let alone 20 years ago.

not a possibility in my situation with my employer of traveling to Russia.
Yes ?'s on contact information. And we do communicate via email on occasion.

[DCcowboy]

Is she paying the airfare to Spain or have you bought her tickets?

I don't entirely agree with the others. I think the ppl and early holiday are not great choices to make early on, the holiday in particular may turn out to be a mistake that dooms the relationship.That said it's probably not inconcievable to do it like you do and for it to work out, for some.

I believe from earlier post on here you are quite a wealthy was the impression I got. If so a bit of money spent which is probably nothing to you is being a bit alarmist to get all wrapped up in as would usually be the case. I would suggest you just press ahead as you are and be content with the choices you've made. The railroad tracks have already been lain and I think you would learn nothing by backing out now or changing tack. I think you've staked your bet and it will either work out for you or it won't. If it doesn't at least you'll have a better bearing of where to work from next time and that can be worth the time and expense of what you're undertaking alone.

she is paying for her flight, but I will probably volunteer to give her some money when she is there which I am sure she will refuse.
I don't know if I would classify myself as wealthy, higher low 6 digits maybe...... Never looked at myself as wealthy. And yes I look at it as being involved this deep u might as well see it through to conclusion.

[DCcowboy]

“situational awareness” in Spain!
petty thievery of all kinds has become distressingly common
pick pockets, luggage thieves
keep a low profile, look like a broke tourist who can barely afford McD’s, no expensive jewelry displayed, etc.

don’t fall for the scam of some African guys trying to sell you a little 12 yr old girl
and think that you’re just gonna buy her and then set her free and she’ll run home to mama and live happily ever after, it’s a scam and she’s in on it, possibly even the mastermind...

and this is just the first 40 minutes of “happy Hour” in some random bar in Barcelona....

good to know! I figured on the he top half, just not the 12yo girl scam, but now I know. We are staying at a closed resort, so hopefully that helps.

[DCcowboy]

A holiday cannot "doom" a relationship.  It does mean you aren't necessarily seeing the real person, as on vacations, the day to day life of a person is not necessarily on display.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

thank you and I am figuring on that.

[Jamesukjames]

Holidays are fantastic fun especially with a honey .  Just remember you will know nothing about the suitability of the person long term after the holiday.  I had 2 perfect holidays with a woman and then found she had a totally different personality when back in her apartment with her son and mother.  So have fun but stay aware.

[Trenchcoat]

That's exactly right James, the holiday I went in was a lot of fun in the main, I enjoyed it, I mean apart from seeing the inside of shopping centres a bit too much, lol.

I think what I meant to say but phrased not quite right is no holiday's in themselves will not dooms relationship but going on a holiday too soon with a girl most likely means the relationship is already doomed. I say that as it probably means you've got a good time girl and will likely have a good time but that such a girl probably isn't viewing it as an everyday relationship. So a serious permanent relationship probably isn't likely since it's already shifted onto a good time relationship. It may be that there are genuine reasons for the meet up in Spain but whether girl set out for a good time deal or not the danger is that is the footing this relationship may now be on.

Time over again I wouldn't do a holiday soon after meeting. If the girl is not up for a serious down to earth relationship from the get go then age was only ever after a good time. I think many a girl in the FSU may be guided onto the right track by knocking back any suggestion of a holiday type of relationship.

At this point though DC I wouldn't stress about it. Enjoy your time in Spain with the girl as much as you can and learn what you learn. It may go the distance or it may not but either way the tracks are laid now do no point going back to Start just for the sake of it. Let us know how it goes.

[Boethius]

Holidays are fantastic fun especially with a honey .  Just remember you will know nothing about the suitability of the person long term after the holiday.  I had 2 perfect holidays with a woman and then found she had a totally different personality when back in her apartment with her son and mother.  So have fun but stay aware.

You were posting from her apartment saying how wonderful she was, up until the time you found her other lover's text messages.  So, I don't think you can blame the holiday.

That's exactly right James, the holiday I went in was a lot of fun in the main, I enjoyed it, I mean apart from seeing the inside of shopping centres a bit too much, lol.

I think what I meant to say but phrased not quite right is no holiday's in themselves will not dooms relationship but going on a holiday too soon with a girl most likely means the relationship is already doomed. I say that as it probably means you've got a good time girl and will likely have a good time but that such a girl probably isn't viewing it as an everyday relationship. So a serious permanent relationship probably isn't likely since it's already shifted onto a good time relationship. It may be that there are genuine reasons for the meet up in Spain but whether girl set out for a good time deal or not the danger is that is the footing this relationship may now be on.

In DC's case, the woman invited him to her city, I believe, but he cannot go. 


This post was composed without the aid of google.

[DCcowboy]

I have decided I have spent enough money in this venture so I am going to wrap things up with my Russian Lady friend. I got a email back from her that she does not want a two room suite, she wanted completely separate rooms altogether. Which I guess I cant blame her, and she is willing to pay for the room herself, but fortunately I was going to reserve at a closed resort, were I can get a suite for 7 days everything included for $1000. I am sure some of the US veterans on here will know what I am talking about. What did me in with her was the persistence of staying on the PPL site.

I went ahead and spent $30 bucks on a month memberships with R__cupid.com and already found two ladies on there willing to just communicate via email both extremely beautiful. So off I go again on typing emails.

[Trenchcoat]

I have decided I have spent enough money in this venture so I am going to wrap things up with my Russian Lady friend. I got a email back from her that she does not want a two room suite, she wanted completely separate rooms altogether. Which I guess I cant blame her, and she is willing to pay for the room herself, but fortunately I was going to reserve at a closed resort, were I can get a suite for 7 days everything included for $1000. I am sure some of the US veterans on here will know what I am talking about. What did me in with her was the persistence of staying on the PPL site.

I went ahead and spent $30 bucks on a month memberships with R__cupid.com and already found two ladies on there willing to just communicate via email both extremely beautiful. So off I go again on typing emails.

Most FSW will communicate via email and apps but that in itself doesn't mean that they are sincere ladies just that its not the ppl red flag waving. Other red flags may start waving once you got into more messaging with them or on meeting. Ideally of course no red flags with wave and you will have chemistry and be well suited to a girl you communicate with.

I'm curious though why you didn't blame the girl for wanting two separate rooms, hers of which she offered to pay for (assuming she would and not just a manipulation technique) then use it as part of the reason not to go? I know its looking unlikely that sex would be on the cards unless the unlikely event occurred of her inviting you to her room.

The ppl is a concern and usually if she is persistent like this a red flag. Im guessing she may have tried to later twist your arm in paying for her room or if she was getting a cut from ppl use that.

I'm not sure not doing your holiday as planned is the way to go. It would be interesting to see what turned up here. It's of course possible to vstiil carry on with this girl while communicating with the others. If you've not yet sent her the ending it message perhaps press her about when she'll pay for the room perhaps and see what she says.

What age are you DC?

[DCcowboy]

TC, mid late 40's, but honestly I get asked all the time if I am in my mid 30's.

[Trenchcoat]

TC, mid late 40's, but honestly I get asked all the time if I am in my mid 30's.

That's ok, On a pay monthly site though I would be a bit cautious as to what motivates the girls there. What are we offering these girls?

I know that on Mamba that has recently converted from a free site to a cheap pay monthly site, $10 a month or $20 for three months they have restricted the age limit at which you can messge the girl (unless you pay more through the compliment system ). Its particularly bad if you are over 40, I am 41 as the age groups start going up in 10 years instead of 5 so many girls in their early to mid thirties cut it off at 40 as otherwise its 50 (tick box only on age groupings). Fdating a free website allows you to message girls even if you are over the age they specify and they can select any age. However, not many of the girls there go for older guys or maybe it is just swamped with guys as its free. Again though many girls select an age gap of just a few years above say 5 years or so. Some will select much higher age gaps on fdating but not many, generally quite few in number.

I think I tried Russian Cupid briefly about three years ago but it didn't have a good reputation, a lot of scammers, etc. I don't know if its much better these days. I think its the sister site to Ukrainedate from what I recall as the layout is similar, almost exact.

I've done EM (Elena's Models) which is simialarly priced to Russian Cupid. The impression I get of both sites is that apart from any dodgy girls a lot of women will be there after a guy with money. Some will have other concerns but in general it is a guy with money and a fair amount of it. I personally think a lot of it will go beyond 'providing' to them wanting a guy with money, so it will only likley be providing a lot of money, lol. Notonecessarily up front but I think they will want a wealthy guy for a very comfortable living. Not to say a dedent relationship can't be had or once knowing a girl if there is chemistry or at lweast a liking that she may be more moderate.

So I would say proceed but cautiously. 

[Boethius]

The impression I get of both sites is that apart from any dodgy girls a lot of women will be there after a guy with money. Some will have other concerns but in general it is a guy with money and a fair amount of it.

What's wrong with that?  You're there for a woman who is more physically attractive than you can pull in the UK.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

[John Gaunt]

What's wrong with that?  You're there for a woman who is more physically attractive than you can pull in the UK.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

Trench hasn’t got any so he knows he can’t ‘game’ them.

[Trenchcoat]

What's wrong with that?  You're there for a woman who is more physically attractive than you can pull in the UK.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

Well I guess it means there's a deal to be done with guys who are very wealthy/don't mind a materialistic girl. The positive is at least you know the basis of it all. So ideally look for a girl amount them where there is chemistry. So theoretically there is nothing wrong with that but a lot of guys won't like it that the girl might be with him just because he has money, i.e wouldn't want to know him otherwise. Materialistic girls can also me a rough ride to deal with also. It can at its worst just be a case of want, want, want from her. Some guys can deal with that others it may be a struggle, Ice been there.

Jorge and Anfisa from 90 day fiancé come to mind.

[Boethius]

Jorge is in jail, no cash, Anfisa has a green card, is supporting herself, and going to school.  Yet she is still with him.  So, she isn't with him just for money.

I don't think you can use reality television as a basis for determining any facts, as most of it is exaggerated/made up for entertainment purposes.

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[Trenchcoat]

Jorge is in jail, no cash, Anfisa has a green card, is supporting herself, and going to school.  Yet she is still with him.  So, she isn't with him just for money.

I don't think you can use reality television as a basis for determining any facts, as most of it is exaggerated/made up for entertainment purposes.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

Ah, thanks for the update Boe, haven't tuned in recently, will have to catch up