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Author Topic: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?  (Read 4086 times)

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Offline Jumper

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #25 on: February 08, 2019, 12:22:21 AM »
As a person with training in scientific methodology, many of you are giving short shrift to the data presented by BeeMan.

You are resorting to idea that the data doesn't mean anything because any one person you are interested in can be different from the average as indicated in the data.

But that ignores the value of the data and the concept of probability.

For instance, if it is found that a certain type of plane has an accident rate significantly higher than average . . . I doubt many of you would say that you would have no worry flying on it because some of the planes in that category probably will not have the problem.  i.e. they are all individuals.

So the value of data and statistics is that they can help us in our screening process, just like we screen out for smoking, drinking, etc.

Sure you may decide to go against the odds with any particular gal/guy, but just admit you are being foolish rather than long winded arguments about . . . each person is different, bla bla bla.

Again silly analogy.
That doesnt mean your point isnt valid, it just means the analogy isnt.


A certain model aircraft with a specific faulty part or design, certainly has a specific probability across all the exact same model.
There is no variable other than when the part fails, or the conditions in flight are correct  to show the desgn failure.

A person that's either been married, or not a virgin , is not certain to be flawed regarding relationship building , or necessarily like other people that have the same background.
Why? Really do we need to outline that it takes two people to make a relationship work, and the other person may simply have not wanted to continue it for a million reasons.

Yes you can draw generalizations from the data.
But to compare that to a known ,exacting issue in a mechanical devise, is simply poor analogy and also a poor method in sorting the data from the studies.

If studies like this produced life long marraiges, they would be much more popular and valuable to marketers and advertisers.


I believe family counseling ,when needed can be incredibly constructive.
I believe studies like this can show trends.

In the course of things like human relationships I feel neither can be relied on for any given result.
 I know of a somewhat renowned marriage and family therapist and psychoanalyst, who is on her 3rd marriage to a lesser reknowned psychoanalyst and family and marriage therapist., and not surprisingly they are getting divorced.

So that specific case certainly confirms the data, while comments sense woukd dictate both should have better relationship skills than average.

Should any conclusions for people thinking of marriage be derived from.that?
« Last Edit: February 08, 2019, 10:15:29 AM by Jumper »
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Online krimster2

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #26 on: February 08, 2019, 07:12:37 AM »
"As a person with training in scientific methodology, many of you are giving short shrift to the data presented by BeeMan."

as a person with training in picking up Ukrainian women methodology, many of you will find BeeBoy's data to be completely useless.
BeeBoy is just a poor lonely lost soul trapped in his own purgatory, seeking to justify his own failure rather than owning it and changing it...
"seize the day" people, just go out there and DO IT!!!




Online SteveInBoston

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #27 on: February 08, 2019, 10:57:34 AM »
As a person with training in scientific methodology, many of you are giving short shrift to the data presented by BeeMan.


My issue with the data is source, accuracy and methodology.

The data is relational trends and does not state causation.  40 percent of all first marriages end in divorce...why?  There is no data for the reasons for divorce, just a bunch of numbers on the people who are divorced based on age, sex, religious leanings and sexual history.   Why do virgins divorce or stay married?  Why do sexually promiscuous men/women divorce or stay married?

One point stated is 60% of all second marriages end in divorce.  This is misleading because it doesn't break into specifics - first time marriage for a man and second for the woman, second for the man and first for the woman, third marriage for the man and second for the woman, etc...  There are many more "second marriage" combinations than first marriage, and therefore it may be statistically comparable for first marriage when normalized over the number of combinations.

Also, it seems the data presented was from studies conducted in the 80's and 90's.  A study conducted by the National Survey of Family Growth in 2002 showed that the likelihood of women being divorced after 10 years in their first marriage is 33 percent.  The Likelihood of women being divorced after 10 year in their second marriage was 39 percent.

6 percent delta, but again the study doesn't state the mix (of marriage type - both partners first marriage, both second, first for man, second for women, etc.).   It may be more likely that it is the first marriage for both, and it is the second marriage for both.   But is the likelihood of divorce more or less if it's the second marriage for the woman and first for the man?


In the end you can infer that couples with higher income and who married later in life would have a better chance of a successful marriage.  Couples who are in  their first marriage have the fear of the unknown that may keep them in a bad marriage.  Couples who are in their second marriage are familiar with the divorce process and may resort to that earlier than trying to give counseling/therapy a chance.

But without the reasons for divorce given in the OP's wall of statistics, it is just an intellectual exercise without much actionable content.

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #28 on: February 10, 2019, 01:02:33 PM »
"Divorced people's key mistakes are also inexperience and impairment. 
Their experience with marriage is learning how to fail and how to give up.
Which makes them emotionally impaired"

Beefarmer, You can't comment on divorce when you have never been in a long term relationship or faced any of the usual issues you deal with in marriage.

Where do you get the idea that I have never had a long term relationship?  I have openly said that I courted with a girl for 4.5 years.

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I'm certain you would have given up long before I did, if faced with the same situation as me and I look at the fact I stayed for so long as a sign of emotional impairment.

It's speculation that I (or anyone else) wouldn't have stayed as long as you did.
You simply don't want to believe that anyone could have endured what you did, because to admit that would also mean admitting that you could have done more.  It would require admitting personal responsibility for your actions.  You want to believe that everything was out of your control, and that you were a helpless victim of fate.
Heaven forbid that someone else might have been able to go through a more difficult journey than you.
Even worse is realizing that someone else may have been able to keep the situation from escalating to as bad as it got.
And even worse yet is accepting that someone else might have had the wisdom and foresight to not get involved with your ex altogether.

The reason you believe enduring so long was a sign of emotional impairment is because it was so traumatic for you.  It's easier to say that you simply weren't in your right mind, rather than admitting that your actions, or inactions, contributed to the situation.

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So us guys who have divorced aren't capable of love and a successful marriage like you?

I'm saying that divorced people will never fight to overcome marital problems as someone who is in their first marriage.

In boxing, it is said that undefeated fighters don't know how to lose.  When faced with adversity, they suck it up, bite down, and find a way to overcome obstacles.  However, after they have been defeated, while they may physically improve, they are weakened mentally.  In the future, when they are faced with adversity, they don't dig down as hard.  When the going gets tough, they give up.  They resign themselves to being beaten.

Divorced people are the same way.  It's easy to have a successful marriage when everything goes well.  (I think divorced people put extra effort into trying to avoid things that cause marital problems...but they never learn how to overcome problems.)  The problem is, there is always going to be tragedy and misfortune in life.  You lose your job, relatives get sick, employees embezzle money, debilitating auto accidents, mental illnesses, etc.  And then what?  For a divorced person, they have learned that it's easier to simply walk away.

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Do you suggest we make excuses why we can't find a worthy woman like you and live a life of loneliness?

I do believe that when people divorce, they are saying they would rather be alone forever than to remain together with the person they married.  (And normally, they do promise to remain faithful to them until death, no matter what.)  If they are lonely, they can always reconcile.  If they don't want to reconcile, then they are saying they would prefer to be alone rather than to be with the person they promised their life with.

If it is such misery to remain alone, then they should accept that as a consequence of their actions.

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My advice to you is to forget everything you've read or been told and experience life and as many relationships as you can both good and bad..... Divorced women,  never married, atheists, single mums, virgins (if you can find one) etc... Because you are missing out on meeting some amazing people.

Just because someone is amazing doesn't mean they are marriage material.  Just because you are good friends with someone, doesn't mean it would result in a good marriage.

You can also meet some absolutely miserable people in the bunch you named.

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You'll find it's very rare you really know what a woman's like, despite her credentials on paper at the start of a relationship. It's only 6 months down the track, after the honeymoon period  that you start to see who she really is..... That tea-totaler, christian virgin is probably single because she's a psychopathic narcissist who won't reveal her true self until she has a ring on her finger and your child by her side.

Many of the characteristics I named provide a solid foundation for marriage.  Then you need to build a good friendship upon that foundation.  (A beautiful house with no foundation quickly falls apart.)  If you don't start to see who they really are until 6 months after you married them, then you didn't take enough time getting to know them while you were courting them.


Online krimster2

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #29 on: February 10, 2019, 01:22:21 PM »
“I have openly said that I courted with a girl for 4.5 years.”

just out of idle curiosity, was the girl you were obsessed with aware of this “courtship”, or just you?? cuz i’m kinda thinkin it was just you...

“Even worse is realizing that someone else may have been able to keep the situation from escalating to as bad as it got.”

even worse, is a little kid with no experience telling a veteran with PTSD how bad war is

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Marriage strike
« Reply #30 on: February 10, 2019, 01:26:54 PM »
With respect to virginity/length of marriage - I suspect most women who remain virgins until marriage do so out of religious conviction.  They may also stay in bad marriages because of those convictions.  So, I wouldn't put too much stock into a correlation between the length of a marriage and virginity.


Are you suggesting you put more stock into the correlation between religious conviction and length of marriage, and virginity is just a casual side effect?

I don't discount that possibility, but I will say that it is difficult to measure religious conviction.

I don't know that I agree that more women are staying in bad marriages if they are virgins.  In the 1980's, 15% of women married as virgins, and the divorce rate was 11%.  Now in the 2000's, it's 3% virgin brides with a 6% divorce rate.  I think it's more socially acceptable to get divorced now.  There is greater public awareness, and more negative stigma against guys improperly treating wives.  I think that if women were just staying in bad marriages due to virginity, you would see a higher divorce rate now, as fewer women would be willing to stay in bad marriages.  It doesn't make sense to suggest that over the past 20 years, women would be more willing to stay in bad marriages now than 20 years ago.

I think we also need to define what a bad marriage is.
I'm sure we can all agree that abuse, infidelity, alcoholism, etc. are examples of bad marriages.
I know a couple that has been married around 30 years.  The wife is a manic depressive bipolar, who has been hospitalized a number of times over the years.  There are times the husband has to take care of her, the 5 kids, the home, and work.  It's rough on him.  Many men would have bailed out.  Is this a bad marriage?  She was a virgin bride.  (They are religious.)
I know a couple who are almost 70 years old.  30 some years ago, their only daughter got leukemia.  For about 5 years until the daughter died, the wife pretty much lived at the hospital in a big city a long drive from home, only coming home for a few hours on the weekends and then heading back to the hospital.  Ed went bald on top, and what remaining hair he had went white during that time.  He kept the farm going, and took care of the boys.  It was rough on all of them.  I've seen other couples divorce over far less.  They are one of the happiest couples I know though.  They still absolutely adore each other.  They were high school sweethearts who never dated anyone else.  (The wife attends church regularly, the husband rarely goes.)
I know another couple.  I am friends with the girl's brother.  The wife and her husband started dating when they were 14 or 15 in high school.  They went to the same college, and got married afterwards.  The wife decided she didn't want kids.  The husband wants kids.  (They do not attend church regularly.)

Are these bad marriages?  None involve abuse, infidelity, financial carelessness, or drug/alcohol abuse, etc.  Yet, they remain together, finding ways to overcome marital problems that would have resulted in divorce for many other people.

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Marriage strike
« Reply #31 on: February 10, 2019, 01:30:24 PM »
Quite likely.

However, there is some percentage whose main reason for virginity is complete lack of desire.
Those are the ones to beware of (although hard to know beforehand) because that lack of desire will persist during marriage.

Same holds true for the virgin man.

I agree with you.  Sexual expectations do play a big part in marital happiness.  You need a lot of honest and open communication.

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #32 on: February 10, 2019, 01:50:49 PM »
You are looking everywhere not just the FSU,  deriving conclusions of marriage breakdown odds from statistical data founded in western culture ,is not going to apply to  many places in the world.


Only as small example ,if you feel decades of soviet mentality and structure in FSU countries shaped cultural views on virginity, marriage, diborce, relationship problem solving, conflict resolution, the same as  they are in the  western societies of the studies,  then go ahead and apply that data.

It's all generalization .
You are marrying an individual so none of that matters, but if you are trying to sort out an individual using generalized data, it needs to be data from that culture.

I believe FSU virgin brides have a lower chance of divorce than brides with several prior lovers.  I believe FSU brides on their first marriage will most likely have lower divorce rates than divorced FSU women who are remarrying.

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Do you think a devout catholic Chilean from a small village fits your marraige data the same as a Buddhist from Bhutan ,on percentages of divorce for the same reasons in your study?

I consider Catholicism to be a religion, whereas Buddhism is a philosophy.  A Catholic can be a Buddhist trying to find the middle path.

While I do not know official statistics, I suspect a virgin bride from Chile and a virgin bride from Bhutan will have divorce rates much lower than their non-virgin or divorced countrywomen.

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Your views that people are foolish who  remarry because the statistical odds are too great that it will not last speaks volumes.

I think it is foolish to remarry for many reasons, not just statistical odds.  The statistics just reinforce my beliefs.
If other people choose to engage in foolish things, that's their choice.  Don't get me wrong.  I view it like obesity, or drinking a lot.  Those are foolish life choices.  I wouldn't remarry, just as I wouldn't marry someone obese or who had drinking problems.  Others who choose to jump into that fire...don't say that nobody warned you if you get burned.

Another thing to think about.  I was raised that a person is only as good as their word.  If their word is worthless, then what is that person?
Keep in mind that when people marry, they promise to remain faithful, staying together until death, no matter how bad things may get.  If they can't keep their word tot he person who is supposed to be the most important person in the world to them, how can anyone ever really trust them?

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If a persons  parents are divorced I suppose since the odds are worse, they should never try marraige.But seemingly, it's ok for them to try, as you see that as only a risk factor.

It's a small red flag.  It's not enough on its own to break the deal for me. (although I have heard it recommended on here that you should go after girls whose parents stayed married, as those girls are higher quality than girls who come from a broken home.)  However, combined with other risk factors, you are playing with fire.
Some risk factors are so high, I don't know how folks don't consider them dealbreakers.

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You seem to draw a line in the sand in who should try, or not try, and firvtyem to still be considered a rational.person.lol

I draw a line in the sand who I am willing to date or not.
If others want to play with fire, I'm allowed to think they are idiots.  And they can't say that no one warned them when get burned.

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Just how did you calculate  the cut off percent ?

I didn't state there was a cut-off percent.  That is a subjective evaluation, not objective.  Everyone has to make the personal decision what level of risk they are willing to accept.

In foresight, only you can decide if you (or a potential spouse) are marriage material or divorce material.  In hindsight, everyone can see if you were marriage material or divorce material.  The proof is in the pudding.

Online krimster2

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #33 on: February 10, 2019, 02:00:24 PM »
“Same holds true for the virgin man.”

bee boy knows all about that

see...

“You need a lot of honest and open communication.”

seems like BB boy has a lotta explainin to do to any POTENTIAL mate
thankfully there aren’t any so the problem is purely theoretical!!!

how do you explain that you’re a virgin BB boy?
I have a pretty good idea they already know soon as they look at you   LOL!!!!!

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #34 on: February 10, 2019, 02:02:09 PM »
As a person with training in scientific methodology, many of you are giving short shrift to the data presented by BeeMan.

You are resorting to idea that the data doesn't mean anything because any one person you are interested in can be different from the average as indicated in the data.

But that ignores the value of the data and the concept of probability.

For instance, if it is found that a certain type of plane has an accident rate significantly higher than average . . . I doubt many of you would say that you would have no worry flying on it because some of the planes in that category probably will not have the problem.  i.e. they are all individuals.

So the value of data and statistics is that they can help us in our screening process, just like we screen out for smoking, drinking, etc.

Sure you may decide to go against the odds with any particular gal/guy, but just admit you are being foolish rather than long winded arguments about . . . each person is different, bla bla bla.

+1

But, but, but, isn't suggesting someone is being foolish...isn't that about the worst insult you can hurl at someone?  Isn't having someone say that you are foolish or playing with fire tantamount to saying that you are a horrible, despicable person? 

If being foolish damns a person to Hell, then I'm screwed.  As a young boy, I caught a baby skunk.  I made a lasso out of a piece of baler twine, and drug it back to the house on its leash.  (In hindsight, it was foolish, and I never repeated the same mistake.)  Baby skunks can't spray right?  And it never turned around and lifted its tail at me...
But Grandma was about ready to skin me when I returned to the house.  I got a good scrub down in a bath of tomato juice.  If I wasn't so likeable, I probably would have had to spend the night sleeping in the haymow.

Online krimster2

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #35 on: February 10, 2019, 02:14:08 PM »
"But Grandma was about ready to skin me when I returned to the house.  I got a good scrub down in a bath of tomato juice.  If I wasn't so likeable, I probably would have had to spend the night sleeping in the haymow."

I freakin loves me some hillbilly stories, yeee haaaw
tell the one where you saw the two dogs screwing and ya asked grandma if she ever did that, and the whippin you got!!!
what's it like living in "Hog Holler, Alabama"??
i'm guessin you're too slow to catch your sisters or cousins hence all the sexual frustration...
maybe diet and exercise or trip wires???
« Last Edit: February 10, 2019, 02:20:07 PM by krimster2 »

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #36 on: February 10, 2019, 02:14:28 PM »
My issue with the data is source, accuracy and methodology.

The data is relational trends and does not state causation.  40 percent of all first marriages end in divorce...why?  There is no data for the reasons for divorce, just a bunch of numbers on the people who are divorced based on age, sex, religious leanings and sexual history.   Why do virgins divorce or stay married?  Why do sexually promiscuous men/women divorce or stay married?

Who cares?  Why would anyone care?  It's all academic.  This is the sort of stuff college educated idiots worry about, because they can't recognize what has practical value, and what does not.

Regardless of which specific problem married folks face, 40% divorce.  For whatever reason, they were unable/unwilling to overcome the problems in the marriage.  The specific problem doesn't matter.  The only thing that matters is that they were unwilling/unable to overcome the problem.

Now the thing to look at is what factors increase or decrease the probability that folks can overcome marital problems?

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One point stated is 60% of all second marriages end in divorce.  This is misleading because it doesn't break into specifics - first time marriage for a man and second for the woman, second for the man and first for the woman, third marriage for the man and second for the woman, etc...  There are many more "second marriage" combinations than first marriage, and therefore it may be statistically comparable for first marriage when normalized over the number of combinations.

I hate to point out the obvious, but there are 2 people in a marriage.  It doesn't matter what the combination is.  60% of the people in a second marriage divorce.  If you, as an individual are divorced, there is a 60% probability you will get divorced.  If you are on your second marriage, and your partner their first, there is a 40% probability they will get divorced.

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In the end you can infer that couples with higher income and who married later in life would have a better chance of a successful marriage.  Couples who are in  their first marriage have the fear of the unknown that may keep them in a bad marriage.  Couples who are in their second marriage are familiar with the divorce process and may resort to that earlier than trying to give counseling/therapy a chance.

But without the reasons for divorce given in the OP's wall of statistics, it is just an intellectual exercise without much actionable content.

Looking at specific reasons is an intellectual exercise in futility.  There are so many variable combinations that you can fractionate it down to the individual, and then the data is worthless beyond that individual.  You get blinded by the trees, and can't see the forest.

All things considered, roughly 40% of first marriages end in divorce.
For second marriages, it's over 60%.
For third marriages, it's 75%.  For fourth marriages, it's something like 84%.
I've never seen data beyond 4th marriages, probably because survey participants died of old age prior to completion of the study.


Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #37 on: February 10, 2019, 02:16:20 PM »
“I have openly said that I courted with a girl for 4.5 years.”

just out of idle curiosity, was the girl you were obsessed with aware of this “courtship”, or just you?? cuz i’m kinda thinkin it was just you...

“Even worse is realizing that someone else may have been able to keep the situation from escalating to as bad as it got.”

even worse, is a little kid with no experience telling a veteran with PTSD how bad war is

She was well aware, and an active participant.

But even a little kid CAN tell a vet how foolish it is to join the military and end up in a war.

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #38 on: February 10, 2019, 02:22:05 PM »
“Same holds true for the virgin man.”

bee boy knows all about that

see...

“You need a lot of honest and open communication.”

seems like BB boy has a lotta explainin to do to any POTENTIAL mate
thankfully there aren’t any so the problem is purely theoretical!!!

how do you explain that you’re a virgin BB boy?
I have a pretty good idea they already know soon as they look at you   LOL!!!!!

Where do you get the idea I am a virgin?  (I have not claimed to be a virgin, nor have I claimed to have many notches on my bedpost.)

Are you suggesting my horn rimmed glasses and pocket protector are sending the wrong message?  Or living in my mother's basement?

Good thing I don't wear horn rimmed glasses, pocket protectors, or live in my mother's basement.

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #39 on: February 10, 2019, 02:23:42 PM »
"She was well aware, and an active participant."

wait a minute?  for real?  you once had a girl friend?
was she blind?
I dated a blind girl once to!!
I took her out for a pick nick
and after dessert, she reached over and "grabbed me" aggressively
and then she whispered in my ear, "you have the biggest cock I ever felt"
to which I replied, "you're pulling my leg"

so BB boy, don't pull my leg to, OK??


Offline Jamesukjames

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Bee farmer.....sexting and video
« Reply #40 on: February 10, 2019, 05:01:57 PM »
Bee farmer a lot of women from the fsu send revealing photos and want to do naked video chat.  While this thread has been running I've skim read the posts and made several such calls.  Should I bath in tomato juice. ?

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #41 on: February 10, 2019, 06:38:04 PM »
"Should I bath in tomato juice"

you're British, so you don't understand..
it's an anecdotal remedy propagated among illiterate hillbillys for dealing with skunk spray
a skunk's like your badger sorta

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #42 on: February 10, 2019, 07:00:31 PM »
I hate to point out the obvious, but there are 2 people in a marriage.  It doesn't matter what the combination is.  60% of the people in a second marriage divorce.  If you, as an individual are divorced, there is a 60% probability you will get divorced.  If you are on your second marriage, and your partner their first, there is a 40% probability they will get divorced.

Wrong.

The data does not state that.  It could be 2nd marriage for the man and 1st marriage for the woman result in 35% divorce rate.  It could be 2nd marriage for woman and 1st marriage for man result in 70% divorce rate.

Lump sum 60% of all second marriage is meaningless unless it can be applied to your situation.


It is less important to dwell on relational data instead of causation.  That is bad science.  Just a bunch of numbers to review as "hmm, interesting".


Bee,

You are instructing everyone here on how to drive a car when all you ever done is see some of your friends drive cars and read some books on it.   Oh, and you sat in a car for 4.5 years and almost drove.  Maybe when you actually have a successful marriage there may be something useful to read about.



Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #43 on: February 10, 2019, 11:15:55 PM »
One thing about usa I could not get my head round was possums eating their own dead kin at the road side. 

Offline ML

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #44 on: February 11, 2019, 11:13:14 AM »
One thing about usa I could not get my head round was possums eating their own dead kin at the road side.

They just feel they should be good citizens and clean up the environment.
Sometimes they  subcontract out to buzzards.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online jone

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #45 on: February 11, 2019, 11:24:37 AM »
One thing about usa I could not get my head round was possums eating their own dead kin at the road side.

Reminds me of the Cannibal who passed his Mother-in-law in the woods.....
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online krimster2

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #46 on: February 11, 2019, 01:35:49 PM »
"Reminds me of the Cannibal who passed his Mother-in-law in the woods....."

I hope everything came out all right!!!

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #47 on: February 11, 2019, 05:15:48 PM »
Wrong.

The data does not state that.  It could be 2nd marriage for the man and 1st marriage for the woman result in 35% divorce rate.  It could be 2nd marriage for woman and 1st marriage for man result in 70% divorce rate.

The data is from the National Survey of Family Growth, which surveyed individuals.
This was not a survey of couples.  The only way your argument would be valid is if it was a survey of couples.

Quote
It is less important to dwell on relational data instead of causation.  That is bad science.  Just a bunch of numbers to review as "hmm, interesting".

The proof is in the pudding.  Do you know what that means?  Kinda debunks your assertion, doesn't it?

Quote
Bee,

You are instructing everyone here on how to drive a car when all you ever done is see some of your friends drive cars and read some books on it.   Oh, and you sat in a car for 4.5 years and almost drove.  Maybe when you actually have a successful marriage there may be something useful to read about.

Shooting the messenger, when you don't like the message?

Where have I instructed people how to live their lives? (ie, driving a car)  I do believe in giving people facts, and letting them make their own decisions.  With that said, I have no problem saying I think they are an idiot if they decide to play with fire.
Stating the decisions I make, and how I choose to live my life is not an instruction to others to live as I do.  Leading by example is not instructing others.

It would be more accurate to say that we should disregard marital advice of divorced people, rather than being condescending towards someone who is unmarried.  After all, divorced people have failed at marriage.  If they really knew how to have a successful marriage, they would not be divorced.  You see, an unmarried person has the potential to have a successful marriage.  A divorced person does not have that potential, as they will always be a failure at a successful marriage. (unless they reconcile with their ex)
This is why society values children, and not elderly.  Children have potential.
While I have not been married, I have avoided common relationship problems that have befallen others.  That alone suggests some measure of wisdom.

A wise person would say to pay attention to an unmarried person's words, who has been able to avoid common problems, albeit with a grain of salt.
It is also wise to pay attention to a divorced person's words, albeit with another grain of salt.

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Bee farmer.....sexting and video
« Reply #48 on: February 11, 2019, 05:20:07 PM »
Bee farmer a lot of women from the fsu send revealing photos and want to do naked video chat.  While this thread has been running I've skim read the posts and made several such calls.  Should I bath in tomato juice. ?

The acid in tomato juice supposedly helps break down the skunk spray.  It's a recommended folk remedy for pets or anything which has been sprayed by a skunk to help reduce the odor.


Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Are you Marriage Material, or Divorce Material?
« Reply #49 on: February 11, 2019, 05:21:37 PM »
One thing about usa I could not get my head round was possums eating their own dead kin at the road side.

Chickens will eat their own dead too.

Honeybees have been known to cannibalize brood in times of protein dearths.

 

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