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Author Topic: The Chicken in Kiev  (Read 6794 times)

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Offline Ranetka

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #125 on: June 06, 2019, 01:28:33 PM »
Ranetka,
if you don't mind me asking, what's it like growing up Aspie in Russia?
did you have conflicts with parents, peers, were you bullied for being different when you were younger?
do you also have some kind of skill or talent that's not neurotypical?
also curious about your family history
and how it may possibly relate to you being an Aspie...
I'm gonna make a wild prediction, that there's something, some variation from what is "typical" in Russia
was your mother one ethnicity and your father another for instance (not that that would be abnormal in Russia)
hope I'm not prying, I sometimes have difficulty understanding social boundaries  :)


I wrote you a really thorough reply unfortunately it got killed :-( so in short



No my parents were both Russian,


Growing was not bad as at school you are surrounded by people who grew up with you and accepting for who you are. Same as uni I had a very small group of friends who I am still in contact with. Trouble began when I entered the work force as you are always on display and don’t understand politics. Immigration until i found out I have Asperger was pure hell. I think Russian culture is more accepting of weird people and just tend to leave them alone. Uk culture puts a lot more emphasis on being friendly and ‘nice’ and basically ostracise ‘weirdos’. Dancing at the time saved my life, literally.
There are shortcuts to happiness and dancing is one of them.

I do resent the fact that most people never question or think for themselves. I don't want to be normal. I just want to find some other people that are odd in the same ways that I am. OP.

Offline Ranetka

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #126 on: June 06, 2019, 01:40:20 PM »
Talents I am very high functioning, member of Mensa, a very good dancer, very good with languages, can learn anything very fast, can predict development of practically any movie. ...fixed my car when it was broken with help of google, learnt everything from knitting to rapid reading myself...I don’t know , I am very good at everything that require thinking until I hit the issue where there are too many random variables and I need to make a decision based on intuition or ‘feel’ - I collapse then  and unable to make a decision which causes a mini meltdown.
There are shortcuts to happiness and dancing is one of them.

I do resent the fact that most people never question or think for themselves. I don't want to be normal. I just want to find some other people that are odd in the same ways that I am. OP.

Offline Ranetka

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #127 on: June 06, 2019, 01:42:24 PM »
I am pretty sure if a high functioning aspie apply aspie determination in developing social skills they will improve themselves massively, the problem are neurotypical advices how to make friends wouldn’t help an aspie...
There are shortcuts to happiness and dancing is one of them.

I do resent the fact that most people never question or think for themselves. I don't want to be normal. I just want to find some other people that are odd in the same ways that I am. OP.

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Re: The Chicken in KYIV
« Reply #128 on: June 06, 2019, 01:49:30 PM »
Talents I am very high functioning, member of Mensa, a very good dancer, very good with languages, can learn anything very fast, can predict development of practically any movie. ...fixed my car when it was broken with help of google, learnt everything from knitting to rapid reading myself...I don’t know , I am very good at everything that require thinking until I hit the issue where there are too many random variables and I need to make a decision based on intuition or ‘feel’ - I collapse then  and unable to make a decision which causes a mini meltdown.

You should meet one of my RU programming mates - who is currently going through the UK work Permit process !

He is mildly autistic, incapable of telling a fib, but socially inept  - yet loves intelligent company ... He is awkward - but amazingly popular with his friends




He cannot dance, has never ridden a bicycle or driven  a car  - but is infuriatingly correct on many subjects and intelligent beyond belief


I hope the Brits treat him as well as his RU friends do - he is already 'upset' that the Red banner Degree he got - treated as a Masters in all EU countries - save the UK - at only 17 is only treated as a first honours class honours BSc degree - well good enough for his VISA status
« Last Edit: June 06, 2019, 09:24:29 PM by msmob »

Offline krimster2

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #129 on: June 06, 2019, 02:16:51 PM »
“I am very good at everything that require thinking until I hit the issue where there are too many random variables and I need to make a decision based on intuition or ‘feel’ - I collapse then  and unable to make a decision which causes a mini meltdown. “

I call this feeling, “analysis paralysis”

also people on the spectrum are more likely to have other conditions like bi-polar disorder
so it’s like being on two roller coasters simultaneously while trying to maintain your balance

when I was a teen, I had a tendency towards spectacularly  bizarre behavior
that all came to an end after high school when I joined the military, they pretty much beat the Aspie out of me, Aspies make great soldiers, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life
so after that I spent 6 great years at univ

now my oldest daughter’s turn to do the same, the circle of life fullfilled

my talent is electronics
damn I’m lucky that it’s that and NOT med-evil French literature

вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #130 on: June 06, 2019, 02:28:34 PM »
“I am very good at everything that require thinking until I hit the issue where there are too many random variables and I need to make a decision based on intuition or ‘feel’ - I collapse then  and unable to make a decision which causes a mini meltdown. “

I call this feeling, “analysis paralysis”

also people on the spectrum are more likely to have other conditions like bi-polar disorder
so it’s like being on two roller coasters simultaneously while trying to maintain your balance

when I was a teen, I had a tendency towards spectacularly  bizarre behavior
that all came to an end after high school when I joined the military, they pretty much beat the Aspie out of me, Aspies make great soldiers, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life
so after that I spent 6 great years at univ

now my oldest daughter’s turn to do the same, the circle of life fullfilled

my talent is electronics
damn I’m lucky that it’s that and NOT med-evil French literature
I could help you in this way, i had (have) some talent  :welcome:
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Offline krimster2

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #131 on: June 06, 2019, 02:41:28 PM »
I used to collect French Breviaries made in the 12th to 15th century, weird hobby
wish I spoke French as my first language, this language allows for much more connection between language and meaning than English, to me at least

resentiment


вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #132 on: June 06, 2019, 02:56:36 PM »
I used to collect French Breviaries made in the 12th to 15th century, weird hobby
wish I spoke French as my first language, this language allows for much more connection between language and meaning than English, to me at least

resentiment
Really? At least your hobby was very unique.
I like english, under the limits of my own level, because it helps to shrink the same message in a compressend length, and allows me to explore new sound associations in a poetic purpose.
Couldn't tell about the range tessitura of english, but the french language truely allows a very wise range spectrum, in the symbolic range especially connected to musical  recall of the voyels or consonant
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Online Patagonie

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #133 on: June 06, 2019, 02:59:44 PM »
Krim what you read under my signature is a pure composition of mine mixing the three languages
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival"
You will find a two languages poem  (maybe two if i remind correctly) in my saga "operation white panther".
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Online Patagonie

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #134 on: June 06, 2019, 03:07:09 PM »
Back to the trip.

Trench stay tuned, i just come back today from Ukraine. I was in Kiev 3 days and in Dnipro 3 days.
Back in the game, without almost no preparation Trench, and i scored Trench.

Will tell you later all about it in "operation white panther".

Trench, as Krim i believe in you. He is right you have an incredible quality, you are persistant, with no revenge in mind and can handle a lot of shit on you.

Just what i could tell you : i have improved my skills in russian last eight months and it makes a big difference guy.

I would like to for every two messages on three, to abord to type the message and practice five minutes of russian. It is really worth rather than to elaborate there about everything. Be a little selfish and spend 2/3 of your time on russian and not on RWD
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

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Re: The Chicken in Kyiv
« Reply #135 on: June 06, 2019, 03:12:11 PM »
Back to the trip.

Trench stay tuned, i just come back today from Ukraine. I was in Kiev

You were in Kyiv, surely ? ;)

As for Trech

He deserves EVERYTHING he gets - until he stops offering 'advice' and listens

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Re: The Chicken in Kyiv
« Reply #136 on: June 06, 2019, 03:13:52 PM »
You were in Kyiv, surely ? ;)

As for Trech

He deserves EVERYTHING he gets - until he stops offering 'advice' and listens
If you prefer, i usually write Kiev and pronounce it Kyiv.
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Online msmob

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Re: The Chicken in Kyiv
« Reply #137 on: June 06, 2019, 03:25:36 PM »
If you prefer, i usually write Kiev and pronounce it Kyiv.

OK, I will call 'Parie' Parris .. ;)

Offline krimster2

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #138 on: June 06, 2019, 03:32:33 PM »
"Krim what you read under my signature is a pure composition of mine mixing the three languages "

well simple mixing is fine, just don't try to make any of those triple-entendres, because I think alleged triple entendres are usually just misunderstood homophones

Patagonie with your quite specific interests was wondering if you ever heard of Heilung?
I saw them in concert last year, if you can chill while being surrounded by neo-nazis and skin heads as well as I can then you'll be fine
surprised at the INCREDIBLE music scene between the UK, Holland and France, all easy to get to for a weekend if you live over there
very, very nice
« Last Edit: June 06, 2019, 05:58:40 PM by krimster2 »
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #139 on: June 06, 2019, 04:06:05 PM »

My 2 cents as I can no longer fight the urge to help :D 


Ranetka,  You are a true gem.  Great advice to Trench. 

I don't know anything about asperger's (or even how to spell it as it keeps coming up red underlined).  The condition for sure has not affected your heart because it was sweet of you to help Trench.  God, he needs help, and so many here have done nothing but assail him.   

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #140 on: June 06, 2019, 04:17:12 PM »
Trench,

Finally,  after the years of abuse at RWD, you finally have received some advice from Ranetka that could begin to change your life. 

Please, please, please restrain any attempt at being Mr. Man.     Remember what Ranetks wrote, "It is a hobby to meet people, not for hook up. Men who try to pick women up become known and avoided very soon." 

Speak to a women as if she were just another dude.  Eventually an opportunity should emerge for longer conversations.   Until then it is only about dancing.    Have fun.     

 

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #141 on: June 06, 2019, 04:29:33 PM »

I wrote you a really thorough reply unfortunately it got killed :-( so in short



No my parents were both Russian,


Growing was not bad as at school you are surrounded by people who grew up with you and accepting for who you are. Same as uni I had a very small group of friends who I am still in contact with. Trouble began when I entered the work force as you are always on display and don’t understand politics. Immigration until i found out I have Asperger was pure hell. I think Russian culture is more accepting of weird people and just tend to leave them alone. Uk culture puts a lot more emphasis on being friendly and ‘nice’ and basically ostracise ‘weirdos’. Dancing at the time saved my life, literally.

Indeed you are correct Ranetka, English society unfortunately seems to put a lot of emphasis on how 'social' you are - the more you are seen not hanging around with anyone the more 'weird' you are regarded and seen in a poor light. This is usually the case in School, Uni's and many workplaces. You have to be seen with others at lunch, out and about, and on fire alarm  activations, its really ridiculous. If your not there on such occasions chin waging away with a load of classmates/colleagues then you will be ostracised and/or seen as a loner, be talked of in and offish/low way about. Essentially you will be given low status socially as a result.

Sometimes working class areas are not as bad as many people can have problems there and can be more down to earth. Yet they can also be dodgy people living in such areas and the scenery doesn't always look great.

Your idea of dancing is a good one, I will look to follow up on that. I looked into it before but my work hours clashed with stuff going locally. I instead purchased a good Salsa and later Zumba dvd but have as yet not got around to putting much time into either or going to an actual class.

So yes I really needed something on the more social side and dancing may do that and at the same time be useful for the FSU :) It sounds ideal that you can speak as little or as much as you like as I hate trying to find something to say when there is nothing that need be said.

I know the disagreements in politics doesn't make for a good situation. I would look to just turn up only occasionally for short periods of time and preferably at events that are non contentious. That and keep to safe topics that I agree with like the NHS and State Pensions and refuse to be drawn on the rest and sidestep the more contentious stuff.

From what people are putting here on Asperger's I don't feel I have it. It's really just more living in a society that puts such an emphasis on it and is derogatory towards those that aren't, like me.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline krimster2

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #142 on: June 06, 2019, 04:44:20 PM »
I don't think it's purely a YES/NO Trench, but a matter of degree, I think you are, but to a lesser degree than Asperger's
but like we've been telling you, it's not a reason for you to fail
if others who share this trait can learn to succeed, then so can you
but you have to CHANGE...
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #143 on: June 06, 2019, 04:49:57 PM »

Your idea of dancing is a good one, I will look to follow up on that.....So yes I really needed something on the more social side and dancing may do that and at the same time be useful for the FSU :)


Imagine you will eventually forget about FSUW.  It's not normal.  You must somehow be normal. 




Quote
I know the disagreements in politics doesn't make for a good situation. I would look to just turn up only occasionally for short periods of time and preferably at events that are non contentious. That and keep to safe topics that I agree with like the NHS and State Pensions and refuse to be drawn on the rest and sidestep the more contentious stuff.
 

Dreadful and boring.  People in their leisure time don't search Netflix for films about State Pensions.  Whatever you do, don't mention the FSU. 



Quote
From what people are putting here on Asperger's I don't feel I have it. It's really just more living in a society that puts such an emphasis on it and is derogatory towards those that aren't, like me.

You have something.

A short true story.  My Russian stepson is handsome, tall and social.  Yet when he was 15, he confided he was having trouble talking with girls. 

I couldn't believe him.   Surely it is more than his Russian accent.    So I staged something.  We sat down with my younger son and his girlfriend,   and I asked the four of us to pretend for few minutes.  I told him to talk with son's girlfriend as if she were his girlfriend.  Say whatever is on his mind, and let's see where this goes.

Everyone smiled and said, let's play.   My stepson moves next to her, smiles, leans in and starts talking.   Before he completed his first sentence, she turned her head and yelled "Too close."    It wasn't his breath.  He literally moved within a foot of her nose.  He had no sense for respecting personal space.  After that we had to tone down his eagerness. 

He is a joy and a good soul.  At 20, still no serious girlfriend. 

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #144 on: June 06, 2019, 05:00:00 PM »
Trench,

Finally,  after the years of abuse at RWD, you finally have received some advice from Ranetka that could begin to change your life. 

Please, please, please restrain any attempt at being Mr. Man.     Remember what Ranetks wrote, "It is a hobby to meet people, not for hook up. Men who try to pick women up become known and avoided very soon." 

Speak to a women as if she were just another dude.  Eventually an opportunity should emerge for longer conversations.   Until then it is only about dancing.    Have fun.   

Thanks Gator, yeah I know it's not a good idea to turn up there like a dog on heat. I know that some of the women that turn up there can be a bit socially awkward etc and not to expect anything at the Salsa classes in the UK. That's fine for me as my focus is really the FSU, if something happens then fine if not then it's no bother as it's still FSW that interests me the most anyway. To be honest in my twenties and even thirties a lot of the women that go to Salsa  probably wouldn't have interested me, not in the UK at least.

In the UK I used to get the occasional attention from the hotties but being poor socially tended to sink my chances there. At one of the speed dating nights I attended I actually got talking to a Salsa Dancing Instructor before the event. He was a guy and had been teaching it for several years and was in his early to mid thirties. He said t me the reason he was at the speed dating event was that a lot of the women at Salsa Dancing can be a bit too odd to date. He seemed a reasonable enough guy and I don't think he meant all the women or in a real bad way but I guess they were not for him.

I have watched a Salsa dancing class in the UK in the past and I would say both guys & girls can look a bit socially awkward. Some loosen up during it towards the end, others perhaps not as much. One or two seemed to hit it off a bit but in general it was more just about dancing. My guess is that unless a couple really get on a lot may not be all that keen on each other as they find each others social awkwardness unappealing which I can understand. I got the impression the class had not known each other long though. I'm sure as Raneta says if you've known each other a while then yo get to know plenty of people well.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #145 on: June 06, 2019, 05:02:06 PM »
"Everyone smiled and said, let's play.   My stepson moves next to her, smiles, leans in and starts talking.   Before he completed his first sentence, she turned her head and yelled "Too close."    It wasn't his breath.  He literally moved within a foot of her nose.  He had no sense for respecting personal space.  After that we had to tone down his eagerness.  "

'gator

this is EXACTLY the kinda thing people "on the spectrum" do
and the solution to this problem, is exactly what you describe...



вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #146 on: June 06, 2019, 05:07:51 PM »
I don't think it's purely a YES/NO Trench, but a matter of degree, I think you are, but to a lesser degree than Asperger's
but like we've been telling you, it's not a reason for you to fail
if others who share this trait can learn to succeed, then so can you
but you have to CHANGE...

I think you have it there Krim, I've no other stuff like Bi-polar so it's just aspects of it to a lesser extent than having it I think.
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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #147 on: June 06, 2019, 05:17:18 PM »
Indeed you are correct Ranetka, English society unfortunately seems to put a lot of emphasis on how 'social' you are - the more you are seen not hanging around with anyone the more 'weird' you are regarded and seen in a poor light., dot, dot, dot

I can't relate in any of these psycho-state. It seems a whole lot of you pay so much attention to what you believe society wants you to be. TC, no offense, man...but you get yourself so tied-up in knots. Most surprising to me is you seem to not be able to associate and function unto a society you actually were born and raised in. I am mystified and find that confusing at best.

I can't relate because for me to do so, I always introspectively look into myself and compare it to any given situation I observe. Dude, my old man died when I was 3, mumski left by the time I was about 6-7. Me and sis were fostered by relatives, which for the most part, I had to look after 'us' (sis was a lazy princess). We were dirt poor as kids back then. Years later, got to the US in my early teens, and even then, had to learn how to scratch and claw my way back and re-learn life all over again. I think we were poorer here in the US than my sis and I when we were in back in Manila. Quiapo to be exact. Old man was a Buddhist, he likes giving away whatever few possessions we had in life.

So there I was moving in a new country, a new culture. I didn't speak English, ugly as hell, learning to live amongst my 'family' I didn't grew up with, yadayadayada...LMAO! Many would easily look at me as the prototypical maladjusted outcast and socially inept dude compared to the likes of you: born into your own culture, speaking your own tongue, lived within the comfort of 'home'. You are leaps and bounds waaaay ahead of sorry loser like me when it pertains to social interaction. Heck, even ran away from home at 16 to pick fruits and live on my own.

I cannot for the life of me, under these parallel comparative living conditions, can I understand when I read lives of guys like you that in my mind have no reason whatsoever to be in situations like what I, at times, read here and elsewhere.

I was reading Ranetka's post and actually smiled, especially the part where she realized she is intellectually gifted. While I am not saying I am (intellectually gifted), but Like her, I'm a jack of all trades, but unlike her, a master of none. Even now, or even compared to my wife who is a successful professional (CPA) and a brainiac, I could be on any given situation surrounded by the elite and college graduates doing value engineering, or negotiating a contract against these suited characters armed with their latest and greatest calculators..when numbers start getting crunched, you can hear the buttons click in various corners of the room, but none can pull the numbers ahead of me, or at times even 2-3 calculations ahead of them, simply by *thinking* it. Wifey, as numerically astute as she is, just cannot believe what I do. She just always smiles and shakes her head.

I guess what I'm saying here is, it's difficult for me to relate, again because I look at your personal circumstances and compare it with mine growing up, and frankly, I'm lost and do not understand why you're struggling.

Women - I never paid for sex yet I will stack my numbers against anyone (except maybe Wilt Chamberlain and a couple others). Women were actually the easiest aspect to find for me. Friends, countless, in any settings, peers, etc...My friends laid witness at how I can command a woman I do not know to do some things in minutes. I don't care if she's the hottest gal in the joint, or is she's in a pack. Friends? I sometimes relish going solo and on my own on social settings when I was single. My friends actually just drag me down. When there are times I tell my boys I'm staying in for the night, they stay home, too. If they plan on hanging somewhere to chase women, and if I tell them I was actually going somewhere else - guess where they will be that night?

I am ugly as sin, poorer that a beggar, and short at 5'8". But life is, and always had been, so simple for me, man. Because I chose it to be that way FOR ME.

Deconstruct the mental barrier and rigidity you surrounded your mind with all these years. There are no limits, there are no rules, there is only life. Don't blame, don't search, don't seek reasons, excuse, circumstances or whatever else you believe societal norm boundaries have marked for you or anyone. Too much garbage in your minds.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2019, 05:30:56 PM by GQBlues »
~Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people~ Gator :P

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #148 on: June 06, 2019, 05:20:08 PM »
"Everyone smiled and said, let's play.   My stepson moves next to her, smiles, leans in and starts talking.   Before he completed his first sentence, she turned her head and yelled "Too close."    It wasn't his breath.  He literally moved within a foot of her nose.  He had no sense for respecting personal space.  After that we had to tone down his eagerness.  "

'gator

this is EXACTLY the kinda thing people "on the spectrum" do
and the solution to this problem, is exactly what you describe...

See I've never had a problem with other people's personal space, stuff like that I have always been aware off. Possibly Gators Russian step so might not necessarily have done that a the time. He might have just been getting a bit too into the role of what he thought goes on, probably by what he had seen on TV or something. I think it's a lot harder for guys in the west to know how to handle the situation these days as the old rules of dating have broken down and guys are now unsure if what to do it what women want so lots of confusion.

That said I myself while I know the basics of manners in certain situations if there is an over the top ideas of etiquette as some people have in the the UK then it's not a scene I like being in at all, some people are just too stuffy. Others I think have an unwritten idea of who fits with the way they behave and will either cut you out or accept you based on how you mesh with them. I'm thinking more of the middle class in the UK here I guess.
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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: The Chicken in Kiev
« Reply #149 on: June 06, 2019, 05:29:36 PM »
I can't relate in any of these psycho-state. It seems a whole lot of you pay so much attention to what you believe society wants you to be. TC, no offense, man...but you get yourself so tied-up in knots. Most surprising to me is you seem to not be able to associate and function unto a society you actually were born and raised in. I am mystified and find that confusing at best.

I can't relate because for me to do so, I always introspectively look into myself and compare it to any given situation I observe. Dude, my old man died when I was 3, mumski left by the time I was about 6-7. Me and sis were fostered by relatives, which for the most part, I had to look after 'us' (sis was a lazy princess). We were dirt poor as kids back then. Years later, got to the US in my early teens, and even then, had to learn how to scratch and claw my way back and re-learn life all over again. I think we were poorer here in the US than my sis and I when we were in back in Manila. Quiapo to be exact. Old man was a Buddhist, he likes giving away whatever few possessions we had in life.

So there I was moving in a new country, a new culture. I didn't speak English, ugly as hell, learning to live amongst my 'family' I didn't grew up with, yadayadayada...LMAO! Many would easily look at me as the prototypical maladjusted outcast and socially inept dude compared to the likes of you: born into your own culture, speaking your own tongue, lived within the comfort of 'home'. You are leaps and bounds waaaay ahead of sorry loser like me when it pertains to social interaction. Heck, even ran away from home at 16 to pick fruits and live on my own.

I cannot for the life of me, under these parallel comparative living conditions, can I understand when I read lives of guys like you that in my mind have no reason whatsoever to be in situations like what I, at times, read here and elsewhere.

I was reading Ranetka's post and actually smiled, especially the part where she realized she is intellectually gifted. While I am not saying I am (intellectually gifted), but Like her, I'm a jack of all trades, but unlike her, a master of none. Even now, or even compared to my wife who is a successful professional (CPA) and a brainiac, I could be on any given situation surrounded by the elite and college graduates doing value engineering, or negotiating a contract against these suited characters armed with their latest and greatest calculators..when numbers start getting crunched, you can hear the buttons click in various corners of the room, but none can pull the numbers ahead of me, or at times even 2-3 calculations ahead of them, simply by *thinking* it. Wifey, as numerically astute as she is, just cannot believe what I do. She just always smiles and shakes her head.

I guess what I'm saying here is, it's difficult for me to relate, again because I look at your personal circumstances and compare it with mine growing up, and frankly, I'm lost and do not understand why you're struggling.

Women - I never paid for sex yet I will stack my numbers against anyone (except maybe Wilt Chamberlain and a couple others). Women were actually the easiest aspect to find for me. Friends, countless, in any settings, peers, etc...Life is so simple, man.

Deconstruct the mental barrier and rigidity you surrounded your mind with all these years. There are no limits, there are no rules, there is only life. Don't blame, don't search, don't seek reasons, excuse, circumstances or whatever else you believe societal norm boundaries have marked for you or anyone. Too much garbage in your minds.

GQ, some people are just naturally gifted socially from their genes. Has nothing to do with being able to speak the language as a native. Some people instinctively know what to say and when to say it and come over better in a non-verbal way. Possibly in parts of the US I may do better than in the UK. A Raneta had found the UK society has a certain thing about being social in a certain type of way, so it's not just me that is saying it.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

 

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