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Author Topic: Age Difference  (Read 1389 times)

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Offline Dell

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Age Difference
« on: August 12, 2019, 07:34:04 AM »
Greeting all,

I hope this finds you guys well. I'm back after a hiatus from this endeavor. I was just dating some women locally, nothing serious just having fun. I have been talking with a few women for a little now and we are at that point of either I need to visit or walk away. One of them is a lot younger than me. My question to the group is does anyone have experience dating someone that's 15 years younger over a long period of time? If so what were some of the challenges? I've never perused or excepted advances from a woman that was 10 younger than me in the past. I've always felt it was too much of an age difference and that we would not be compatible in the long run.

I little back story, She got a notification that I viewed her profile and she sent me a message saying hi. I let her know that I was not in her age demographic, that she posted on her page. She responded saying ohh.. you're not but I don't mind because you look very good looking. We get along very well and talk very day.  I do have some trepidation though and have raised these concerns with her. But she wants to meet and see if we have chemistry.

I'm 44 and she is 29.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2019, 07:55:54 AM by Dell »

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2019, 08:00:34 AM »
I have dated women who are fifteen years younger than me.   After a certain period of time in a woman's life, she is very interested in having children and stability.   However,  I am curious to know what type of method you used to 'meet' this woman.   Please elaborate.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2019, 08:20:17 AM »

My question to the group is does anyone have experience dating
someone that's 15 years younger over a long period of time?

If so what were some of the challenges? I've never perused or
excepted advances from a woman that was 10 younger than me
in the past. I've always felt it was too much of an age difference
and that we would not be compatible in the long run.

But she wants to meet and see if we have chemistry.

I'm 44 and she is 29.

My advice is to get on a plane and see for yourself. There is a good
chance that she will want a child or another child.

Angel Eyes is 13 years younger than myself. We don't really have
any age difference related problems or arguments.

 

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline Dell

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2019, 09:08:12 AM »
I have dated women who are fifteen years younger than me.   After a certain period of time in a woman's life, she is very interested in having children and stability.   However,  I am curious to know what type of method you used to 'meet' this woman.   Please elaborate.

She does want kids, which I'm fine with having. I met her through dmnotify website.

Offline Dell

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2019, 09:15:16 AM »
My advice is to get on a plane and see for yourself.

 I think this will be a smart choice. Either we will have chemistry or not, and until I get my feet on the ground it's a guessing game.

Offline tfcrew

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2019, 06:29:57 PM »
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=5714.msg102178#msg102178
Ken C was one of the RWD pioneers. His thread above was one of the extensive ones.
Now I believe he had broken up with his Russian wife and re-married with an Asian lady.
Try the search format for other threads....
Cheers

Offline witchdoctor

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2019, 08:41:42 PM »
Well if you go by the age of the girls I was marrying before and after my wife. But let's just consider the ones since my wife which were 18/21 24 + 30.  I am. sixty and my stepmother is 2 years older and married to my dad for over 30 years.
age difference is 27 years.  I asked my dad if having sex what some of the strenuousif not dangerous ,  he said " Wel if she dies she dies!"  Lol
Witchdoctor

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2019, 11:19:39 PM »
Well if you go by the age of the girls I was marrying before and after my wife. But let's just consider the ones since my wife which were 18/21 24 + 30.  I am. sixty and my stepmother is 2 years older and married to my dad for over 30 years.
age difference is 27 years.  I asked my dad if having sex what some of the strenuousif not dangerous ,  he said " Wel if she dies she dies!"  Lol

Reminds me of this joke that my uncle used to tell:

This rich old guy marries an Anna Nicole Smith type.   You get the imagery.   She thinks to herself that all she has to do is show up on her wedding night and he'll keel over from all of the excitement and she winds up with all of his money.

On the wedding night she carefully arranges herself to give maximum visual and sensual impact.  A couple of minutes later, he walks in, stark naked, with the exception of a rubber, ear plugs and a nose plug.

She looks at him and blurts out, 'what would cause you to wear ear plugs and a nose plug on our wedding night.   He says, 'My Dear:   I can't stand the smell of burning rubber or the sound of a woman screaming.'
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2019, 06:52:19 AM »
.... my stepmother is 2 years older and married to my dad for over 30 years.
age difference is 27 years.  I asked my dad if having sex what some of the strenuousif not dangerous ,  he said " Wel if she dies she dies!"  Lol

 :ROFL:

Your Dad reminds me of Ronald Reagan. 


Welcome back!  It's been longer than a coon's age.   

I am Bucky from the old days at RWG, joining there in 2002.    Stewart sold RWG, supposedly  to a company in the RW agency business.  New moderators and definitely a pro-agency tilt.  The new team "dismembered" me, even preventing me from logging in.  RWG soon faded away to nothing.     I came here, following others from RWG (JB, et al), almost all of whom have   
been inactive for years. 

I checked your posts and see that you have bounced in and out since June.  Splendid that CaptB and you have been in touch. 

 
Quote
  Well if you go by the age of the girls I was marrying before and after my wife. But let's just consider the ones since my wife which were 18/21 24 + 30.   

I am confused.  Three wives?!   No, four.....?   Maybe these are not your wives, but the wives of men who used your agency? 



Offline c5h

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2019, 07:35:36 AM »
Greeting all,

I hope this finds you guys well. I'm back after a hiatus from this endeavor. I was just dating some women locally, nothing serious just having fun. I have been talking with a few women for a little now and we are at that point of either I need to visit or walk away. One of them is a lot younger than me. My question to the group is does anyone have experience dating someone that's 15 years younger over a long period of time? If so what were some of the challenges? I've never perused or excepted advances from a woman that was 10 younger than me in the past. I've always felt it was too much of an age difference and that we would not be compatible in the long run.

I little back story, She got a notification that I viewed her profile and she sent me a message saying hi. I let her know that I was not in her age demographic, that she posted on her page. She responded saying ohh.. you're not but I don't mind because you look very good looking. We get along very well and talk very day.  I do have some trepidation though and have raised these concerns with her. But she wants to meet and see if we have chemistry.

I'm 44 and she is 29.

I'm married now but when I was 39 I met two Kyiv area girls ~17yrs old and blew them off thinking it can't work.  Still in touch and we chat every now an then, they both would have been fine.  The one I married is great (9yrs under) but I feel like she is socially older than me, I want to hit the clubs and she wants romantic evenings at home.

Offline ML

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2019, 08:15:18 AM »
Greeting all,

I hope this finds you guys well. I'm back after a hiatus from this endeavor.

Dell, didn't you marry Tootsie who used to participate on these discussion boards ?
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online msmob

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2019, 11:16:27 AM »
I'm married now but when I was 39 I met two Kyiv area girls ~17yrs old and blew them off thinking it can't work.  Still in touch and we chat every now an then, they both would have been fine.  The one I married is great (9yrs under) but I feel like she is socially older than me, I want to hit the clubs and she wants romantic evenings at home.

Hmm, sorry...

but what right -minded parent would be happy / agree to a union with a 39 year old guy ? ..

FAR too young 

No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Offline CaptB

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2019, 02:02:17 PM »
Witchdoctor,


I sent you a PM.


Capt B
"A Yooper in Moscovia"

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2019, 06:33:12 PM »
dell

get on a plane  ;)

at this  time in your life [44] the 15 years age gap  liky wont make a big difference , at 29 she may well be very mature and can settle into a solid relationship , and children  are  a bond between you especially when you both desire them

you wont know if you dont go  ;) and she seems to be ok so far with investigating the possibility of more

SX

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Offline Dell

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2019, 11:27:46 PM »
Thanks for the replies everyone it's greatly appreciated!


Dell, didn't you marry Tootsie who used to participate on these discussion boards ?

That's not me.

Offline Dell

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2019, 11:31:01 PM »
dell

get on a plane  ;)

at this  time in your life [44] the 15 years age gap  liky wont make a big difference , at 29 she may well be very mature and can settle into a solid relationship , and children  are  a bond between you especially when you both desire them

you wont know if you dont go  ;) and she seems to be ok so far with investigating the possibility of more

SX


She seems more mature than me in some aspects. 😂 We have made arrangements to meet. I will keep you guys posted to how the meeting goes.

Cheers!

Offline tfcrew

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #16 on: August 15, 2019, 07:14:33 AM »
Dell, didn't you marry Tootsie who used to participate on these discussion boards ?
Strange..I remember Tootsie but in a member search, there are no posts listed.

Offline witchdoctor

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #17 on: August 19, 2019, 07:35:39 AM »
Hey everyone, both those who are oldtimers (and I mean REAL old timers) and Newbies.  I see things both haven't changed and changed a lot!  I kind of think Eastern European countries opening their borders has made it easy, to easy, and more complicated. More scammers, and not just Boris and Yuri but REAL women whose occupation is fleecing Westerners.  Made it easier on the tours too since without having to get a visa, someone from England could pay 47 dollars for a cheap flight to Kiev and attend a social that night. (it costs 4 or 500 dollars to just attend the social, so you do not have to sign up for a full tour etc.  Kiev is the hottest sex tourist destination currently due to the above and continued poor economy.  There were sharks in the water 15 years ago ,but now it is feeding frenzy and Westerners are the harpooned whale!
With all the changes however the same rules still apply and it is not age difference...didn't we have a list like the ten commandments of searching for a foreign bride?  Lets dredge up the standard commandments because the men searching today need it even more...not that they will listen BUT?
I have beenv contributing to another board called Ukrainefusion.com ; I saw it on youtube and couldn't resist.  May have some agency trolls but no one on the board is even close to marrying!  Not one of them has gone anywhere but Ukraine.  I have tried to give advice but am kind of a lone voice in the wilderness.  It is run by a guy with the nom de plume of Styker from New Zealand..he has not succeeded either and he is on youtube under "I'm with Cupid".  I have no association with them and in fact have never been to Ukraine, can legitimately extrapolate.
Worth a look , if for no other reason than laughs and shaking your head in confusion.  I think I am the only one who has travelled the road! If I were in the market I don't think it would be in Ukraine, but with experience I could probably navigate the mine field.
Later Guys and ?girls?
Witchdoctor
Witchdoctor

Offline scarface816

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #18 on: October 09, 2019, 02:35:24 PM »
Hello Witch. I took a look at the site you mentioned and there are quite a few guys on there that have actually traveled to Ukraine. And some to Russia. Some have traveled many times.

I agree there are some clueless guys on there like here. But the site also seems very new and does not have a large group of contributors.

Nothing near the size of this one.

But I also saw some guys trying to give honest advice that has traveled. There does seem to be a bent toward agencies though.


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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #19 on: October 09, 2019, 10:37:18 PM »
It seems like its been a few years since this topic was heavily debated here on the forum.  Since we a large age gap, I thought I would offer some updated opinions on the topic after being married for about 6 years.

First, both parties need to decide what their objectives are.  People are different with different needs/wants.  The age of both parties will influence their objectives as they look forward to a future together.  Whether we like it or not, both are going to look at it in a selfish perspective.   What does each party want?

In my case, I was middle aged had been married twice and had been financially cleaned out in the first divorce.  When I started the FSU adventure, I was well settled, financially secure and had a nice larger home.  In addition I had all the toys I wanted for my hobbies.  The two requirements that had to be met for me to consider another marriage were 1. I wanted to raise a child, so this meant a woman that was divorced or widowed that had a preteen child.  2.  I wanted an attractive, intelligent woman as my mate.

Being older it amounted to this rather crude tradeoff.  Do I want to marry a woman my age that can barely get around, has no income to contribute to the family and not be physically attractive to me or better to remain single and not have the day to day companionship of marriage.   In addition she is not  likely to have a preteen child for me to help raising.

I also see the other side.  Why would a younger woman want to marry some broken down old man that cannot support the family and not be physically attractive to her.  These two competing characteristics make it much harder to find compatible of partners with a large age gap.

Nevertheless, it is possible.  Perhaps not in the USA, but the FSU has different cultural norms that increase the odds.  While I have read many posts that indicate that many FSU women claim that age difference is not important.  This leaves the man to determine whether the statement is genuine or someone desperate to relocate to a different country.  This is one of the most difficult but most important puzzles to solve.  Is she genuine.  Asking a lot of difficult questions can ferret out the answer over time.

Asking your potential mate the tough questions is so important!  For example, when asking my current wife what were her requirements for a husband, she seemed quite honest.  She wanted a good father for her 4 year old daughter.  She did not care where on earth we lived but wanted to be a tight knit family.  She also demonstrated that she was intelligent and well educated.  Dual master degrees and ran a successful business in Kiev for 12 years with about 60 employees.   When we got married (in Kiev) she was working one step below the CFO for a large food wholesaler.  When she announced she was getting married and leaving the country, the CEO offered her the CFO job if she would stay.  The current CFO wanted to retire.

All in all, it seemed that I found a mate whereby we met each others requirements.  It still is not easy and do not want to imply that it is.  I had a previous engagement with a UA woman and it led right up to the visa before she decided she did not want to move.  An Aerospace Engineer that does not speak the language has about a zero chance of finding a decent job in UA so we broke up.

No matter the age difference there are still a lot of risks in finding the right partner.  Dating in the US, allows two people to either live together and get to know each other much better than when you go to a different country and make assumptions based on short term visits.  Even with us, there were a lot of surprises that did not appear until long after we were first married.  Fortunately, they were not severe enough to destroy the marrage.  I think being older and mellowing out probably helped in my case.

My approach to dating in UA was different than most folks.  I went to Ukraine not only to look for a wife but to learn the history and culture of the country.  The trips were sometimes weeks long and I was fortunate to meet families that invited me to stay with them and learn the culture, explore the sites I wanted to see and meet potential mates.  This is a HUGE advantage over the fly over for a date method.  It is also important to understand the culture because your mate was raised with a certain set of values and traditions and even after being relocated she is not going to like having her husband ignore or belittle her over the differences.  Something to remember when dating FSUW.

I am hesitant to make generalities because there are always some posters that try to rip them apart, but there are a couple that  might be noteworthy to newbies.

1.  In all cases of women I dated in UA, plus the one I was engaged to, plus my current wife...... They do not address death and the future the way we do in the US.  To explain, whenever I would ask about "What are you going to do when I die, which is likely prior to your death?   It is something they do not want to talk about and have an attitude that they will address it when it happens.  They do not plan for it and do not want to talk about it.  I found that it is not only between the spouses but also their attitude toward their own family including parents.  It seemed very strange to me, since we do so much planning with wills, etc in the USA but it is what it is.  As a result,   She has never asked about my will or if she will inherit anything.  Since my properties and small wealth is all separate properly, I have the option of doing whatever I want to happen to it.  My current attitude is that of some of the wealthy that have given everything to their current wife/eye candy/etc.  If she remains faithful and keeps me relatively happy, she and her daughter can have everything I own when I pass.  She will have earned it.  :)

2.  UA women are extremely protective of their children.  Looking back I have to chuckle about how things started out when they arrived.  I wanted to take Lisa to the store with me to buy some groceries and have a little one on one time together.  She did not want her to leave the house with me without her.  It took a few weeks to gain the trust, but it was kind of funny since we had spent a lot of time together in Kiev before we married.  Nevertheless, it seemed to be a cultural thing I had to adjust to.  Wasn't long before the over-protection was non existent.

Lastly, the most important thing that does not particularly pertain to age difference is the going to the foreign country and learning the culture before diving into serious dating and marriage.  I suspect my adventure probably cost around $30K before the wedding.  It is not cheap to do it right and minimize the risks.  Some guys have got lucky and found a wife on the first visit, but was not my case.

Any newbies wanting to read my trip reports can find them below.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=15123.0
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=18377.0

Doug (Calmissile)

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #20 on: October 09, 2019, 11:43:11 PM »
Speaking of your former loves, what ever happened to Irina?
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #21 on: October 10, 2019, 09:34:40 AM »
I have been married to my UW for over 20 years, she is 15 years younger than me, was 29 when we got married.  I adopted her daughter as mine, she considers me her father and we now have a grand daughter that we both adore.  So, basically i am saying that in my case, the age difference did not matter at all. 

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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #22 on: Today at 10:14:26 AM »
Good write up Doug.

I have been living full time with my FSU wife now for over 8 years.
We have a significant age difference.
Has been zero problem, so far.

One note: There has been virtually no problems related to cultural differences at all.
And, in fact, it seems cultural differences hardly exist, despite wife being raised in very traditional Ukrainian home in western Ukraine.

Sure, she does a lot of cooking stuff on many 'special' Ukrainian days.  But that is not much different from the 'special' days that AW cook for here in USA.

Wife prefers company of AW here as compared to UW that she knows here.
So maybe she was a 'closet' American her entire life and that explains why no significant cultural differences.
« Last Edit: Today at 10:23:06 AM by ML »
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Re: Age Difference
« Reply #23 on: Today at 10:53:51 AM »
Good write up Doug.

I have been living full time with my FSU wife now for over 8 years.
We have a significant age difference.
Has been zero problem, so far.

One note: There has been virtually no problems related to cultural differences at all.
And, in fact, it seems cultural differences hardly exist, despite wife being raised in very traditional Ukrainian home in western Ukraine.

Sure, she does a lot of cooking stuff on many 'special' Ukrainian days.  But that is not much different from the 'special' days that AW cook for here in USA.

Wife prefers company of AW here as compared to UW that she knows here.
So maybe she was a 'closet' American her entire life and that explains why no significant cultural differences.

She loves those Midwesterners Buddy!

It's like the work ethic at home only on steroids.   Most Ukrainians fit right in with the Midwestern types.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

 

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