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Author Topic: Childfree in Miami  (Read 2241 times)

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Online Gator

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #50 on: January 13, 2020, 09:13:25 AM »
RealBFE,

I wish you the best in your search for a FSUW life partner.  Knowing exactly what you want helps your search, yet this venture takes time in finding her and especially in developing a loving relationship.  There is no substitute for the time required.

With regard to children, I do not object to your personal choice.  I grew up in a happy family home, my RW wife the same.  She and I each have enjoyed some remarkable accomplishments in our lives,  yet we agree that our greatest source of joy has been family.     Good news for you - RW mentality is two people form a "family" (as well as 3, 4...).   

BTW, I dated RW in the 35-40 age group who could run circles around 20 somethings.  For example, one's favorite hobby was sport climbing.   Don't ignore these women. 

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #51 on: January 13, 2020, 09:21:55 AM »
Your prerequisite of no children, not wanting any and her age considerably younger than yourself. I'm a firm believer that the heart wants what the heart wants. It's not a matter of a trophy wife. You're wanting a woman that fits your preconceived notion of your ideal wife. I get it. One that agrees with you on the child issue. I only caution you, you've severely limited yourself to finding such a woman and to not fool yourself into think that she won't change. She may, she may not.

You seek someone on your "level" yet 15-20 years younger than you. That's a pretty big gap in age. Do you really think that exist? You act and feel that much younger than you are. You even think you look it and you might. Makes nobody here any difference if you do. We all think we look and act 20 years younger. It's chic and it sounds cool but there's no denying mother nature whether you want to think so or not. As I said, you can find her and in the short term make her happy as a pig in shit. It's the long term you should be considering more closely FWIW

I updated my previous reply just a bit before you replied.  I agree 20 years is a bit much of an age gap.  I would rather keep closer to 15.  Thinking long term, she will always be 15 years younger.  When I am 50, she'll be 35.  I assume she'll have expectations of me just as I have of her.  Nobody wants to be around boring old people.  Frankly I find 40 year old people boring too.

When I was 22 I was most attracted to women in their mid 20s.  When I was 30 I was most attracted to women in their mid 20s, now at 42, I am still most attracted to women in their mid 20s.  Hopefully I will not be another guy in his 50s chasing 20 somethings.  On the other hand if she's in her 40s, I don't imagine her keeping my attention span. I already had that issue once, so part of looking for someone younger IS my planning long term.

I know plenty of guys that look and act 20 years older and plenty that look and act 20 years younger.  It isn't just mother nature.  It has more to do with how you take care of yourself.  Most people in their 30s adjust their lifestyle significantly from their 20s.  Kids, work, life, whatever gets in the way.  Exercise and being healthy keeps you young.  Maybe it's genes.  I don't know.  My father was an ocean lifeguard and walked a 18 hole golf course several times a week for 40 years.  At 60, he was in better shape than any 40 year old I knew.  I plan to follow in his footsteps.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2020, 09:26:42 AM by RealBFE »

Offline ML

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #52 on: January 13, 2020, 09:39:02 AM »
RealBFE
 What folks here are telling you is that, even if you do find the young woman without children that says she doesn't want children, the chances that she changes her mind as her biological clock starts ticking down increase exponentially. We've seen it numerous times on this very board.


Yes, this is the point I made in the first post in this thread.

It is the most critical point of all for RealBFE; and one he CANNOT control.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Offline ML

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #53 on: January 13, 2020, 09:41:04 AM »
. . .  not fool yourself into think that she won't change. . . .

Again, the most critical point.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #54 on: January 13, 2020, 10:01:23 AM »
Yes, this is the point I made in the first post in this thread.

It is the most critical point of all for RealBFE; and one he CANNOT control.

I can't control any person, but I can consider her reasons and enthusiasm for not wanting children.  Some people don't care one way or another.  Some people are extremely opposed to kids.  The former are more likely to change their mind.  Someone who can passionately list a bunch of reasons why they don't want them is much less likely to want to have them later if happily married to someone who also doesn't want them and can't have them.

Online BillyB

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #55 on: January 13, 2020, 10:38:49 AM »
The last thing I need is a judge looking at me as the bad guy for divorcing a pregnant wife. 


If she got pregnant by another man, I doubt a judge will be looking at you as the bad spouse. Florida is a no fault state. A judge is not suppose punish anybody for bad behavior except when it comes to misspending money. Florida is an equitable distribution state, and only property acquired during the course of the marriage is subject to division following divorce. Your properties and business in your name will be protected even without a prenup. If community money and wife's labor goes into building a property and business in your name, she may be entitled to a small percentage of it. A judge of course can use his/her discretion and turn it into a large percentage.

Talk to an attorney about the prenup and language you should use. If there's too many ugly scenarios listed in the prenup, it could scare away any good woman like it did Gator's step daughter. Most people want to enter a marriage trusting their partner 100%. A poorly worded prenup may tell a woman her man doesn't trust her.

To help yourself save time, in an intro letter to ladies, you should mention you can't have and don't want kids. Saying it in a profile is not enough. Not everybody reads profiles. You will have few ladies interested in you but those that do would be insincere or sincere and can accept not having kids. Judge the level of level of English the women have when they respond. Some may have not comprehended that you can't and don't want kids.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2020, 11:56:27 AM by BillyB »
There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

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Childfree in Miami
« Reply #56 on: January 13, 2020, 10:54:41 AM »
When I was 22 I was most attracted to women in their mid 20s.  When I was 30 I was most attracted to women in their mid 20s, now at 42, I am still most attracted to women in their mid 20s.  Hopefully I will not be another guy in his 50s chasing 20 somethings.  On the other hand if she's in her 40s, I don't imagine her keeping my attention span. I already had that issue once, so part of looking for someone younger IS my planning long term.

What attracts you is totally irrelevant. EVERYBODY is attracted to twenty five year old
women. 16 year old boys to 75 year old Mick Jagger are all attracted to them. Micks girl
was 26 when they got together (he was only 69). What's important is whether you can
attract a 25 year old Russian woman who is a good girl AND meets your other
restrictions and the answer is probably not.

I'm 13 years older than my wife. The age gap for you chasing a 30 year old is totally
doable. Your restrictions on procreation AND having no kids make it NOT doable. The
FSUW entire culture is about marriage, children and family, any theory that believes 
they won't change their minds 5+ years later is a dream theory.

Biological clock ticking




 
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Childfree in Miami
« Reply #57 on: January 13, 2020, 11:12:41 AM »
If she got pregnant by another man

If she get's preggers from another man and he immediately files for divorce they
won't make him pay for the other mans baby. If he raised the baby for 5-10 years
and then filed for divorce then they might. Having a prenup won't change that.

My advice is to buy a book from NOLO press about prenuptial or marriage
contracts and read about it.

Here are three articles, they overlap each other but they discuss the basics.
Prenuptial Agreements: Who Needs It and How Do I Make One?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreements-overview-29569.html

Prenuptial Agreements: What Does the Law Allow?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreements-what-law-allows-30283.html

Prenuptial Agreement Lawyers: Do You Need One?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreement-lawyers-30035.html

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #58 on: January 13, 2020, 12:18:38 PM »
What attracts you is totally irrelevant. EVERYBODY is attracted to twenty five year old
women. 16 year old boys to 75 year old Mick Jagger are all attracted to them. Micks girl
was 26 when they got together (he was only 69). What's important is whether you can
attract a 25 year old Russian woman who is a good girl AND meets your other
restrictions and the answer is probably not.

I'm 13 years older than my wife. The age gap for you chasing a 30 year old is totally
doable. Your restrictions on procreation AND having no kids make it NOT doable. The
FSUW entire culture is about marriage, children and family, any theory that believes 
they won't change their minds 5+ years later is a dream theory.

Biological clock ticking

Luckily for me I have been doing things my whole life that people said they didn't think was possible.  I actually built a successful business based on it, so I feel pretty good about my search  :P

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #59 on: January 13, 2020, 12:20:36 PM »
If she get's preggers from another man and he immediately files for divorce they
won't make him pay for the other mans baby. If he raised the baby for 5-10 years
and then filed for divorce then they might. Having a prenup won't change that.

My advice is to buy a book from NOLO press about prenuptial or marriage
contracts and read about it.

Here are three articles, they overlap each other but they discuss the basics.
Prenuptial Agreements: Who Needs It and How Do I Make One?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreements-overview-29569.html

Prenuptial Agreements: What Does the Law Allow?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreements-what-law-allows-30283.html

Prenuptial Agreement Lawyers: Do You Need One?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreement-lawyers-30035.html
I think enough effort has been spent on prenup discussions already.  Plenty of time for that discussion later on between me and a competent divorce attorney, of which there are a few in South Florida.

Offline Patagonie

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #60 on: January 13, 2020, 02:51:06 PM »
I stumbled across this site a couple of months ago, and have been reading as time permits.  I was married for 20 years and after a few years of being single I am ready for a serious relationship again.  I am in my early 40s with a comfortable income for my area and the ability to travel several weeks a year. I'm physically fit and quite active so most people assume I'm in my mid 30s. Most of my US dating experience has been on sugar dating type sites so I am used to age gap dating and being guarded about scams.

I'm looking for a tall, attractive FSU woman around 25-30 who doesn't have or want children. I seem to be getting a lot of attention from women I find attractive on Elenasmodels but they either have/want kids or don't speak English.  I thought English was tought in schools for people in this age group. 

Any suggestions of good dating sites to look into?  For an English only speaker, would it make sense to take a trip and try meeting someone offline instead?
 
 
I can understand how you feel in the position you are because somewhere I am also an outsider for many reasons.
However the crownd you had been used to (FSU coming from sugar dating type sites) is any longuer the ones you would meet for a marriage.
You would avoid as possible the transactional girls they are and there are more FSU transactional girls than in the western countries due to the economical discrepancy (transactional girls exist also in the west). 
 
So what i want to pinpoint is that it changes all the perspective as in the same time you want a really younger woman and no child of your own. 

So to make it short and practical.
You should aim for women with two childs and check that she agrees from the scratch to not have a third one. You can reasonably find a younger woman of 30 or less.
Are you ready to welcome two young children, a whole family? Question ?
Your risks, therefore, will be minimum to end prematurely your marriage because of a possible problem of her wanting a child. 
I absolutely respect your willingness to not have children, and the discussion is not about this
 
The last point, that has never been discussed in this topic (your), is your dating capacity since you have divorced. 
As 2TallBill is using to say FSU women are not for entry level daters. So excuse me but the three FSU women you got from sugar dating sites (if you got them from there) have little rapport with the real dating life with FSU women first and in FSU secondly.


So I would worry more about this than the young and well off life that you can provide, just my two cents.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2020, 03:43:16 PM by Patagonie »
Read : "Operation white panther"
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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #61 on: January 16, 2020, 06:23:26 PM »

You forgot Southern Russia😁

I arrived in Moscow just after winter to snow and -1 temps and the last day I sat on the beach for 30 minutes and got sunburnt in beautiful 29c temperatures.

The other thing I saw were young attractive women in their mid to late 20’s looked to have no issues finding men. Everyday I saw very fit and handsome young men with stunning young women walking hand in hand together on the foreshore. I went to see a live band one night and our group was the oldest by 10 years. My eyes were wandering and to be honest, I didn’t see one woman who didn’t have a partner. Obviously single mothers and older women are a different story.... I think the Mob Industry overstates the ploy that young women can’t find genuine men and in my opinion the young men were more romantic and attentive than most western men. Young Russian fathers also deserve a pat on the back. Most days I saw shift workers out with their young children and babies without their wives.

Is true, I saw the same thing in Kiev last year Davo, lots of young twenty something girl & boys out dating, sat on park benches, casual-smart dress sucking each others faces off and holding hands, etc. Off the single young girls I saw around none of them seemed to be out on the prowl for a guy.

In Odessa I saw plenty of Ukrainian guys built like a sh*t house door, they were huge, massive muscles bulging everywhere.

In both cases I (in my early 40s) like BFE would likely look an odd prospect for such girls, an early middle age guy of regular build, regular build, 6ft still with a good crop of brown hair but out of age group with some small wrinkles around my eyes, etc denoting such age.

Some guys no doubt look more decrepit than me at my age. I known some guys who's hair has started greying significantly in their mid to late twenties. It no doubt was likely an issue for them but it doesn't mean I am in the frame for a 25 or so year old girl. Even if I were 25 ish I would have to work out significantly and good money wise etc.

I get that you are in good maybe even great shape for your age BFE but a guy in his forties is a guy in his forties nonetheless at the end of the day, he will never be the equivalent of a guy in his twenties.

For me having kids if I do would likely have to be in the next few years as to be fair on the kid it needs to be around at least mid teens by or before I hit my sixties - if I get there. The thing is that most people think they are going to go on forever more, I sincerely wouldn't want to. You can add a few more years to your life and health but generally a person in their 60s is aging but mostly ok, usually, in their 70s old and likely suffering some health problems, a fair few pass on, in their 80s very old and likely health problems, many passing on and in their 90s decrepit with likely bad health problems and waiting at deaths door if not before. Even if you are in much better than average shape at this age you are still going to be seen as an 'old person' and not realistically having the same lifestyle as a 25 year old.

If there are no kids are there anyone who cares about you at that age? Other family members may have passed on who lived a less healthy life. Would younger women seriously be interested in guys that age? Would the girl you get in her twenties drop you 10-15 years down the line as she prefers a younger model?

Can be sobering even depressing stuff to think of but reality is reality.

I don't think having children comes without bother, sometimes much bother. Honestly I don't think there is an easy answer to the 'have children or not' dilemma. Either has its issues, for you though I would look at girls in their thirties as a more preferable age group, as they age they wouldn't be so far behind you that they would want to ditch you with you having an uncertain future finding someone else.

I would say that myself by my forties I have done most of the doing stuff that I want to do. I don't see much point revisiting the same stuff type of stuff again. After a while it all starts to get a bit samey and repetitive, already been to that sort of place before, already done similar sort of thing before, got the t-shirt. So the 40s & 50s isn't necessarily a bad time to enjoy bringing up children if this came up I feel but only if content with this option.
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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #62 on: January 17, 2020, 04:04:07 AM »
More Trench wasting e-ink with bollox 'theories'

You haven't been living the dream with a FSU lady Trench - so much for the "I have done most of the doing stuff that I want to do." ...

YOU fail in your endeavours in Kyiv, etc., because you go without a plan and 'expect' lasses to see your UK passport and run to you ;)

BTW..

A lot of guys put UK in their dating profiles - or dating sites put 'UK' for British guys and SC told me that she had been ignoring guys from Ukraine ;)




We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

Offline GenMish

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #63 on: January 17, 2020, 09:37:50 AM »
Interesting thread

1) I looked up FL law. While the woman's husband will always be listed as the father on the Birth Cert, there are lots of legal ways to remove your responsibility should that be another mans child. LOL- does sound like a neat trick to get a girl to sign a pre nup

2) If you actually don't want kids, get a vasectomy

3) Don't lie about your age, a horrible way to start a relationship

4) I totally agree in looking sub 30. I put a pencil and paper to it, over 35 _(maybe 40 for others), it aint worth it


My 2 cents- The reason I went to the FSU 28 years ago, was to find a woman that would be a good mother for my kids. At the time, finding beautiful women in the States wasn't an issue, but they either didn't want to settle for FT motherhood or they were just wouldn't be good mothers. My GF before I decided I needed to got to Russia, was a Bud Girl. At least she cleaned, but no way would I have kids with her. In the Urals I found spectacular beautiful women that wanted to cook, clean , sew and raise children. I was in such awe

Offline Boethius

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #64 on: January 17, 2020, 04:55:10 PM »
Reducing, or signing away child support cannot be accomplished via a prenuptial agreement.  Such an agreement would be unenforceable.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Mon pays ce n'est pas un pays, c'est l'hiver.

 

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