Prince Alfie

[Turboguy]

Before I start, I have not seen your photo which I guess must be posted somewhere.  I did not follow your story on the other site which I rarely go to.  All I know is what I read in this thread.  It sounds like you have been working on a lot of self improvement and that is a good thing to do.

I am happy that you have not stuck your head in a bucket and drowned yourself from everyone saying your dreams are impossible.   I would like to give you my take on it. 

First off, based on my 10 years of going to Russia.  It seems to me that prejudice is getting less.  I could write 3 or 4 paragraphs of why I feel that way but I just drove back from Texas and am tired.   

PART 1.

This morning I got my weekly mailer from Elena's Models.  As I scanned though looking for victims I happened to notice one post that listed Asian as an acceptable match.  I watched after that and tonight I went back through the list and did a quick tally of how may gals might be willing to accept an Asian husband.  There were 128 gals on the list.  I did not check the 60 year old babushkas.  I probably looked quickly at 100 gals profiles.  Of those. 16 said race was not important.   three specified an Asian man as acceptable.   There were about 7 who listed multi racial as acceptable (not sure how to interpret those)  The one that took the case was this one.

http://www.elenasmodels.com/index.php?ap=1020640

She only wanted a South Korean man but unfortunately I think she wants him to live in South Korea.  (ever think about moving)   So out of the 100 there were about 20 that someone of Asian descent could have a chance with.  (That is not taking age into consideration but it seemed the younger gals under 30 were much more accepting on race.  Since you are young that may help you)   Just as a comparison, looking at gals who were under 50 and attractive on this list which is what I look for, there was a total of 1 who was willing to accept someone my age.  There were 3 more if I stretched it a bit.  I found 4 of interest.  Yes, you may have a rough time, probably not much rougher though than I have it.  I do fine by the way, or at least in my opinion.

PART 2

I have made three romance tours with European Connections who of course no longer to them.  They sent out a disclaimer to the guys who were thinking of going that basically said that Russian Gals tend to be very prejudiced and guys who are not Caucasian, who are severely overweight, who are older might want to be aware that their prospects might be more limited and they may not find any gals interested in them.   Well, the group I was with which was about 20 guys had 3 older guys (I was one) one obese young guy, one Mexican American and one Asian American.

One of the older guys one was a very nice looking, chubby guy who portrayed himself as a very successful ivy league professor and inventor.   He ended up with a gal most anyone would give their eye teeth for.  He was giving all the gals he talked to IQ tests by the way.  The other older guy who portrayed himself as very rich did just fair but he didn't want anyone much older than 21.  Me who portrayed myself as me did OK.  At least there were a number of gals interested.  The chubby young guy who was very nice looking and had a wonderful personality and was about 5'3 tall and 4'3 wide did terrible.  He was very unhappy and dejected from the trip. 

The Mexican American had almost movie star good looks, well built, intelligent, well spoken, nice personality, owned a reasonably large construction company in the south west but was very dark complected.   The Asian American was one of the two on the tour that I did not care for very much so I really talked to him very little.  He had a very striking appearance and was a fashion plate for avant guard fashions.  Perhaps he looked a little like a young Charles Bronson if you made Charles an Asian.  His personality was somewhere between arrogant and obnoxious but her did portray a lot of self confidence.   Both the Asian American and the Mexican American were swamped with beautiful gals.  I would have been happy with the worst of their rejects.  The only one who did better was the professor whose gal was probably the most beautiful FSU woman I have seen in my life.

Off the subject, the other guy I liked less than the Asian guy was Bruce who was a poster child for the ugly American.  He was drunk from morning to night, every other word out of his mouth started with f and he was always arguing with everyone in a very rude way.  I was ashamed to have people know he was an American.   He managed to get himself thrown in Jail in Moscow.  Unfortunately Kyle Steckle bailed him out.  I think I would have gone to the Metro with my wallet half out of my pocket and looked for some Gypsies so I had no money to bail him out with and had a good excuse for leaving him rot there for a while.

OK, back on the subject.  Personally, I think it will be tough for you.  I don't think it will be impossible.   I am not sure what kind of gal you are looking for.  If you have too much trouble in Russia and Ukraine finding a gal who is what you like some of the areas like SvetlanasBrides is in may be a good option.   Good luck

[Jooky]

Under that supposed veil of submissiveness...

Alfie, you're killing me! Are we talking about Russian women here, or did I log in to the wrong forum? Whatever complex mythology you've been reading, send me a copy. I love good fantasy.

From what you've said, it seems like you've been limiting your dating back home to women that share your religion. Have you searched much outside of this group? You certainly will if you search in Russia.

Something you'll probably soon figure out is that Russian women are just as picky as women from anywhere else on the planet. Even the girls that are talking to you on the net are picky. If they weren't they wouldn't be on the net at all, they'd be married to Russian men. Think about it.

The difference is what they are picky about.

Back home you've found that women are picky, probably looking for a man with handsome looks, a prestigious career, a large wallet, or all of the above and more. You haven't met the criteria and you haven't been able to charm the skirt off a woman so that she forgets entirely what she was so picky about and instead falls into the arms of her Prince Alfie. (Which is the best way of going about things.)

So you go searching where the ladies are less picky right? Wrong. They are plenty picky, but simply by arriving from overseas on that big metal bird you are perceived as stable, prestigious and wealthy. They are picky about qualities you now appear to possess and you have just upped your status.

[Turboguy]

Funny thing about Russia.  You will look hard to find a place that has as many really beautiful churches yet the gals don't seem to be very religious for the most part.   Go to a church and you see mostly old people  (humm at my age I had better watch how I use that term)  There was some mention about if they would be very accepting of someone who was a LDS.  They don't seem to care a bit that I am a Protestant, I doubt if anyone will care much about someone who is a Mormon.  Most gals there are just not very religious.

[prince_alfie]

Indeed, I don't mind picky as long as it is picky about the things that I want. I don't care for materialism and that's about that to be honest.

Spasiba, Turboguy. You have provided an extremely insightful post about Asians on the dating scene in FSU. Needless to say, I avoid being a jerk by trying to be humble yet bold when being a man needs to be. That's a fine balance. I dislike arrogance.

I agree about the non-religious part. Russia has been under communism so long that they are slowly getting back to a religious mode. It's really hard. Traditions die hard.

On a diversionary note, I would like to note that my favorite all-time director (who is French pourquoi je ne sais pas) Eric Rohmer finally got the prestigious accolode in the cinephile. His movies have reached the Criterion Collection blessing with a box set Six Moral Tales.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FUF7CQ/sr=8-1/qid=1156338560/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-9808465-6064046?ie=UTF8

is the link to finding it.

Actually, what does these series of movies have to do with the search for a RW? Well, to begin with. Rohmer's tales (which some can get bored like Woody Allen) are an example of courtly love in a postmodern New Wave context. One can see the overriding patterns of how the lovers deal with situations in a subtle way. Ethics become melded with an old-fashioned French type of love (watch Boyfriends and Girlfriends for the sublime example of this). I got smitten as a kid and perhaps the inkling that European women would have this added element of attraction was planted in me. Okay...

Actually there are very few Russian directors who hit the Criterion status (I could care less about the lousy Oscars). Only Eisenstein and my favorite Russian director Tarkovsky come to mind... Gotta admit that movies somewhat can connect to finding the perfect lady 

[BC]

apropos .. one movie you might spot quite often on the living room shelf over there is 'Pretty Woman'.

[prince_alfie]

Good point. Actually that means now that I got to see it. Ironically I still haven't seen Pretty Women from start to finish yet!

[prince_alfie]

Actually, Jooky, I would very hard pressed to find a AW around Utah who isn't LDS and:

1) is not involved with crystal meth or Ecstacy (two plagues)
2) didn't get plastered every weekend
3) act silly and completely out of place in public
4) go berserk with completely immodest behavior with sexual forthrightness, etc. etc.

Perhaps you haven't seen people of my generation. The younger generation is corrupted by capitalistic commercialism and obsessive needs to acquire worthless objets d'art. Maybe the older generation is much better (although my parents were not good examples) in this respect but the generation we call ourselves is Generation PH (Pharisee Hilton)...

For example, in Russia they are not star struck like we are. In fact, they probably don't have time to waste thinking about celebrities status. Here we have so much free time to waste on video games and watching TV that I've pretty much got a tiny TV because I avoid watching it. In Russia, I know that TV shows from America are reasonably popular but they don't obsess over them like we do. I get tired of hearing gossip from soap operas and crap like that that I'm definitely beating a different drummer here.

Just more ranting I guess. 

[PeeWee]

Morman? I had thought about the dymamics of the Morman teaching and culture and its impact or cohesiveness with the Russian Orthodox faith. My family has a rich Morman heritage. GreatGrandfather times several generations Martin Harris and Brighham Young himself both in the family bloodline. Yet with all of that heritage I am not Morman. I'd like to discuss with you sometime your thoughts on the cultural impact of the Morman/Russian marriage.

Peewee

[prince_alfie]

Sounds good. If you are interested in discussing this further, please PM . Unless that would make another good thread instead?

[Durk]

    Alf, I get the same impression about the young woman all over this country! Those 4 reasons are enough to keep any good guy away. Believe
  me I would not even go near woman like that unless you want a little jail
  time added to your life. You already know that! I would learn as much as
 I could from Billy. There was a very hot Asian girl in one of their photos. I
 think he could really help you out.
     The religious issue is going to be a big one because of the low percentage of good Christian ladies. I look at it this way though,helping
  another person to become a Christian would not be a bad thing. If they
 care enough they will see the difference!
      Age wise you have plenty of time. I think marriage now has a flat rate
 time on it and that is ridiculous.
       Pittsburgh has about as many good single gals as Orlando. I visit
 different churches in the summer months and most of them in this area
 look like a retirement village. I did meet a young woman last Sunday at
 church during the greeting part of the service and she never properly
 introduced herself. She was dressed for I don't know what. No respect for
 herself or the service. Go figure.  This was in an upscale neighborhood so
 I don't think money was the reason for it.
        I have many 50 year marriages in my family on both sides so I see
 what it takes to be happy and with my company I have seen customers
 and friends of mine that have given their wife everything only to end up
 in a divorce for no other reason than money. These guys had good families,
 no money problems at all, great healthy kids, and the woman wanted out
 in every case . ??? You must remember the old saying "what is yours is hers
 and what is hers is hers"
         I made up my mind a long time ago that I would be very patient and
 not make that mistake if at all possible.
          My formula is to be patient, WMVS, learn the culture, get to meet
 as many of the family members as possible (MIL is very important here) ,
 take the girls out on relaxed dates so you can be yourself and let them open
 up so can see what you have (pretty is as pretty does), meet her friends,
 possibly co workers. The min. of 18 months for this along with my list of
 requirements. Hope this helps. Things do work out!

[Jooky]

I don't mind picky as long as it is picky about the things that I want. I don't care for materialism and that's about that to be honest.

Hey Alfie, you've missed my point. You're looking amongst a group where materialism is exactly what many of the women are likely to be picky about. The type of man they can't find in Russia is a man with money.

Yup, I'm aware of meth and ecstasy abuse in America. I've seen it. The youngest girl relative to me that I dated (15 years younger) was 100% pure American. I spend lots of time with youngsters. Yes, plenty get plastered every weekend. And plenty don't. Do you think it's any different in Russia?

Item 3, silly in public sounds good to me. Sign me up.
Item 4, sexual forthrightness is a myth that entices many men to seek Russian women. What version of the mythology have you been reading?

Your comment about the Frank Gehry sketches cracks me up. I studied architorture for eight years. I'd be hard pressed to name a woman in my past that wouldn't have wanted to drag me to see some Gehry sketches. They exist in America. Plenty of them.

For example, in Russia... blah blah blah
You've never been to Russia right?

I have an assignment for you when you go to Moscow:

1. Next to Red Square at Okhotny Ryad there is a three level shopping center chock full of the world's most expensive fashions. The place is constantly packed. Explore this mall and report back to me about the lack of capitalistic commercialism amongst young Russian women.

2. Visit any newstand in Moscow and pick up five of the most popular Russian celebrity gossip magazines. Read up on the latest Brazilian soap operas, the coolest Russian pop stars of Фа́брика звёзд (Star Academy) and the MTV style housemates of Dom 2 (or is it Dom 3 now?), and report back to me about young Russian women's non obsession with television and pop culture.

3. Stop into any net cafe and wait for a Counterstrike or World of Warcraft addict to reluctantly give up his seat to you. Report back about how Russians don't waste time with video games.

Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of nice women in Russia and you might even meet one someday. I don't mean to come down hard on you, but if you're going to look for a woman in Russia, you need to look with your eyes open.

[prince_alfie]

Jooky,

Good points. But do RW play video games? Or it is just only the guys at the cafe?

...

[groovlstk]

PA,

Jooky and JB make some very good points, take heed or you'll end up getting fleeced or worse, used as a mule. This is a contact sport and if you go into the game with lots of silly romantic notions, the Bad Ones will instantly recognize it and pounce on you.

I personally have met two Russian women living in the US who had not the slightest bit of guilt for using their men as mules. Both had nearly identical answers when I asked them why their marriages failed: "he's Filipino," one said, and "he's Hispanic," said the other. I heard that the woman with the Hispanic man married him a few weeks ago and they're living out on Long Island. Now, without the 90-day K1 pressure to worry her, she can continue to search for daytime sex partners as well as her ultimate goal of trading up, at her leisure and her husband's expense. Her poor husband is blissfully unaware that he's next in line at the slaughterhouse.

On a positive note, I know a young Moscow woman who is an LDS convert and she just got engaged to an LDS American man after a two-week meeting in Italy. When she was searching, one of her requirements was that her man be LDS. If you like, I can ask her if she'll hook you up with some of her brethren or at least give you some perspective. Send me a PM if you're interested.

[prince_alfie]

Good point. I will definitely heed the advice of the guys here. It doesn't hurt to ask when in doubt...

[55North]

My (intelligent, not-so-young) UW didn't have a functioning TV until I bought her one (to broadcast DVDs and CDs on the player I bought her.
 
She's now terminating phone calls because of f****** DOM-2 starting! 
 
I'm seriously considering the future of this relationship........... 

[BC]

I personally have met two Russian women living in the US who had not the slightest bit of guilt for using their men as mules. Both had nearly identical answers when I asked them why their marriages failed: "he's Filipino," one said, and "he's Hispanic," said the other. I heard that the woman with the Hispanic man married him a few weeks ago and they're living out on Long Island. Now, without the 90-day K1 pressure to worry her, she can continue to search for daytime sex partners as well as her ultimate goal of trading up, at her leisure and her husband's expense. Her poor husband is blissfully unaware that he's next in line at the slaughterhouse.

The streets are lined with gold..  I always wondered about that phrase but now understand what is meant.

Mental picture is a street full of ducks laying golden eggs and a slew of happy maidens behind filling baskets.

[Bruce]

Dumb-2; New Love.   Actually there are two black guys on Dumb-2 with RW; so anything is possible.  Any girl that would rather watch Dumb-2 on the TV you paid for than speak with you is telling you loud and clear................Next!

[Jooky]

Alfie, yes they play Freecell at work when they'e not chatting to random foreigners on instant messenger and message boards, just like everyone else. 

Actually I have met a few Russian women that are gamers, just like here. Not too many, but some.

Reality is that your average young Russian girl is more likely to be found at the local disco or drinking beer in the park than waiting in line for the latest sketches of some modern architect. Have you ever read trip reports? It's usually fancy dinners, billiards, bowling and dancing, not opera, art exhibits and musuems. Sure, the type of women you're looking for exists in Russia, but in no greater or lesser percentage than she exists here in the States. Don't fool yourself, and above all, don't let some Russian woman fool you!

You do have a better chance to take hot chicks on a date in Russia than here, I'll give you that. The rest of your mythology is just that. 

[andrewfi]

Alfie ~ I know that you have yet to go to Russia so writing stuff like 'For example, in Russia they are not star struck like we are. In fact, they probably don't have time to waste thinking about celebrities status' just looks daft. Kinda makes me wonder about your observations about your peers. I have a funny feeling that you are NOT the guy to talk to about cultural insights.

[Maxx2]

My Russian ex liked
1) Friends TV show, her favorite
2) Gossip magazines once she got here
3) E Channel 24/7 except when Friends was on
4) Asked me if I knew any celebrities ( I seen Prince and wife in a grocery store once )
5) Asked me and we did drive by Jessica Lange's house in Stillwater, Minn.   

Being celebrity obsessed has got to be a Red Flag.

Maxx

[55North]

My girl may like Dom-2, and I know that it will get worse when she gets to the UK (Big Brother) but hey,  I prefer this year's Dom-2 fixation to last year's James Blunt (female) fixation.  That was world-wide.  It was horrible.
 
At least she insisted on dragging me through churches and museums, not drinking in the park!

[prince_alfie]

Indeed, celebrity obsession is an American pasttime. In France, they prefer to watch the guillotine 

Okay I won't generalize but I take statistical averages of what I have noticed about RW women. And yes they are more cultured. At least a higher probability seriously. I won't be interested in any AW or RW who would get bored of Mozart, etc. etc....

Indeed, I would care less about TV. Put it this way, I only need to find one RW who CHOOSES me for what I am, not what she pretends me to be.

C'est bon!

[chivo]

Alfie,

While much of what others have told holds true, some of what you say does too.

let me explain. my latest g/f recently took me to a Norman Foster exhibit at the Pushkin Museum. Who knew who he was...not me? In case you don't know, hes a famous architech who has been contracted to build the tallest tower in Europe (i believe) here in Moscow.

now you might think it strange for a young woman to want to see this, shes 26 BTW, but i was amazed at all the young women there as well. many alone. matter of fact I'm always amazed at not only the number of young women visiting the museum's here, but the quality of their looks as well. again many alone.

take into consideration my last time to the Getty center in Los Angeles (with twice the population of Moscow BTW) attended with another young RW where if i did actually happen to see a young woman (yes a few were there, very few) she wasn't alone, and they certainly didn't look as pretty (yes guys it matters to most of us) as the women i saw in the Moscow museum. I will contend for you guys with any Russian language skills at all, museum's in Moscow are definitely a pick up waiting to happen with these ladies.

now is this to say that it is all they like or that AW dont like cultural events? of course not. but let me just say, for anyone who disagrees, visit cultural events in Russia and America, lets say, and then you tell me. i'll contend that your average RW will be much more comfortable in this environment than your, lets say average AW.

And yes I'm sure you'll find many of the same RW curling their favorite alcohol beverage at your local disco at night as well. Most women Ive met here like to have a drink. doesn't mean they're out of control with it, just means the majority like it.

are they more cultured? overall id say yes, but you still have to hunt the woman down and find out if she has other qualities that compliment yours.

i mean how many times can you visit a museum before they start to all look alike.

are they star struck? well i doubt you'll find many RW who'll will spend the night in a sleeping bag on the sidewalk waiting to see their favorite star for 30 seconds before the Emmy's or Oscar's the next day, but they are very up to date with who's who in the movies and the latest gossip... and Russians love to gossip, believe me.

my opinion is that visiting a museum and like events is more favorably looked at for young Russian women compared to young AW. i grew up in LA and have known 1000's of women, dated upteen of them, and never has/had one of them suggested/hinted at attending the same.

another example, and i have many, was the first date i went on with another g/f here. one who's favorite pastime IS dancing in discos and taking ectasy . well our first date, recommended by her, was to the Treytekov where we had a great time, and yes there was a shit load of single goodlooking women there too!!

bottom line, if you want a woman who enjoys this type of thing, then make sure you communicate this. and if/when youre even in Moscow or Russia, hang out at these places yourself, because its hardly impossible to meet women there, and youll know for sure that shes at least into these types of events. now whether she wants to follow you to your country and get married is a whole other mountain to climb, but hey you have to start somewhere.

so i would have to side with you about the woman's overall  "enjoyment" of cultural events and finding one might be in some aspects easier here, but still, you have to come and find her, and thats the trick. good luck.

chivo

ps forget about finding one thats not materialistic, all women are materialistic, some just to a lesser degree.

[BillyB]

Like Chivo, I saw many well dressed single young women in the Pushkin State Museum. It's the second most important museum of Western art in Russia behind the Hermitage in St. Pete., another museum that I heard from visiting guys that are loaded with single young women.

[prince_alfie]

Looks like I will have to scope the museums when I get to Russia