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Author Topic: Weeding our fake profiles  (Read 1666 times)

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Offline redking11

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Weeding our fake profiles
« on: June 04, 2020, 10:45:17 AM »
What percentage of profiles on the more popular dating sites like Russiancupid, Ukrainecupid and Rbrides are fake?

What are some things that make you guys think a profile is fake? Some things that cause me to tag a profile as fake are: 1. the woman messages me first 2. the profile isn't filled out at all or has very little information. 3. the women looks like a model and all the photos are professional photos with no photos from everyday life. 4. the woman's profile says she is looking for a guy is about any age range, (I don't really think a 31 yo woman is interested in a 65 yo man.) 4. If I do get a message it is very bland and non-specific. 5. some information doesn't seem to be realistic like height and weight ratios are far off.

What other things to you guys see as redflags? I'd love to hear what you look for and what you think of my perspective.

also, other than the 3 sites I mentioned what other sites are our there that people use and like?

Online Nightwish

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« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2020, 11:13:34 AM »
 a friend of mine is in the full on search mode right now, he is 50+ and looking for someone his own age or close to it anyway, had quite a lot of luck on dmnotify meeting interesting women so far, monthly paid, good admins who remove fake accounts quickly and resonable price -  his words, not mine.

He tried fdating and some other free sites but left in a hurry because he thought there where to many fake profiles and weird women (again his word - not mine)

We talk quite often about this since he knows my full journey and from what I've seen so far, there is a lot of attractive and what seems to be serious women there.
I really liked cuteonly and dmnotify when I was in business (but actually met my girl on fdating where she approached me first :rolleyes: )

Quite fun actually, Tanya ticked 4 of your 5 red flags :D
1. She wrote me first
2. She had almost no information on her page, well some, but very little - one onliner at the bottom of her page draw my attention "I LOVE to eat Bacon"  :P
3. She was/has been a model - so she only had really modded model pics (2 of them)
4. She looked for someone my age, she was 32, I was 46
5. That all looked alright though.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2020, 11:22:39 AM by Nightwish »
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Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2020, 11:30:55 AM »
What are some things that make you guys think a profile is fake?

What other things to you guys see as redflags? I'd love to hear what you look for and what you think of my perspective.

I don't know the sites you mention and my Russian wife will skin me
alive if I check them out for you and while I have extensive experience
I've been married too long to have recent experience with current sites.

Ask a girl to meet you on Skype or Whatsapp. If she has a half dozen
reasons why she doesn't want to then you kick her to the curb. 

A serious girl who is interested in you won't come up with obstacles, 
a girl with questionable motives won't want to meet on a messenger
she will complain about her internet connection, English ability, her
webcam, her laptop, her Momma's health and a multitude of other
things and will not be available when you want.

A serious girl really wants to hear your voice and see your face.
If the girl is questionable, she won't want to hear from you except
when she is in the agency and you are spending money.

Udachi!

Bill
« Last Edit: June 04, 2020, 12:02:08 PM by 2tallbill »
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FSUW don't do vague
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Online msmob

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Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2020, 12:11:35 PM »
You've had some great responses, so far.

My first Russian wife, wrote to me, first and didn't have professional looking photos ..

If you're on a non PPL site you should be able to quickly decide if you want to move to videochat apps.

Good luck

We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

Offline redking11

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« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2020, 12:34:59 PM »
Thank you for the replies. All 3 were insightful and informative & helped me at the very least not to look suspiciously at  women who write first.

Forgive me for asking a 2nd question off topic from the original post. I'm 36 almost 37 with 1 daughter, & divorced. I'm considering FSUW (mostly Ukraine) in the hopes they are less entitled & selfish (in general of course) than most of the American women I have been involved with. Feel free to correct me if I'm delusional here. And yes, I admit I am hoping that by looking in the FSU I can find a woman who isn't overweight & maybe a little more attractive than I could find here. Good grief, it seems like all the women I meet are 30 lbs over weight, have 3 kids & the thought of marrying a man more than 3 years older than them is just horrifying. Maybe I'm just arrogant that I think I should be able to do better. Dr.'s after all are known for being arrogant, & I try not to be.

At 36, I still want a child or 2, as such am looking for a woman from 25-32 with 26-31 ideal. I have no problem if she already has a child, in fact I almost prefer it as then our priorities & shared experiences are more similar. Can I get opinions, on whether there are women in this age bracket who are serious about finding a foreign guy in my age range for marriage & family?  (yes, I know opinions will differ, I know it's not fact, I'm really just asking for your personal perspective & don't want 2 people to start arguing over who is right)

Looking at & reading profiles, I too often get the impression many of these women are only interested in a guy with millions who can put them on a yacht & allow them to live a life of perpetual vacation & shopping in Paris (hate the place personally). I want a normal woman who wakes up makes kids breakfast, cares about raising decent human beings & has some modicum of appreciation for & loyalty to her husband.

As for me, I'm a physician in residency (I went back to school in my early 30's). So I don't make great money yet, but it's coming. I'm tall, 6'2, better than average looks, probably 7-8/10, but not brad pit, and 220 lbs so I'd say at 6'2 that puts me roughly 15 pounds over an ideal weight for my build. Thoughts, perspectives, & advice welcomed. I don't mind hard work & patience, but I don't want to waste my time in a futile pursuit either.

Thank you in advance
« Last Edit: June 04, 2020, 12:38:05 PM by redking11 »

Offline redking11

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« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2020, 12:45:15 PM »
One caveat however, I learned to speak German, which is relatively easy compared to Russian, so I have a realistic view on learning foreign languages and being honest with myself; me going much further than learning how to say some basic phrases in Russian just isn't going to happen, I'm too busy. So I need a woman who at least has a basic functional command of English. In Germany, this wouldn't even be an issue, but I wonder how much this requirement narrows down the pool in the FSU.

Offline redking11

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« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2020, 01:03:38 PM »
I really just don't know what to think about this. I signed up for 2 sites, Russiancupid and RBrides, I haven't even paid for them yet as I only wanted to look around. In 1-2 day I have 25 messages between the 2 sites (which I can't read) & received 18 "interest" notifications from women on Russiancupid. The women age in range from 22-42, but the majority of these women are  26-34 attractive to very attractive, & I'm just thinking this isn't real. Each and every one is a scammer who will ask for money or a fake profile with a fat dude is sitting  behind a computer. Can someone help me get my head on straight?

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« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2020, 01:11:53 PM »
))

One thing you must get straight .. FSU ladies are also 'entitled'

They don't 'go Dutch' on dates as a norm and if you are deemed 'tight' you'll be termed 'greedy' !

From what you say, you need a English teacher or a professional and insisting on English will drastically cut down your options, but will be wise and you cannot speak Russians and cannot  assign time to learn it

Be yourself, but be prepared to understand the cultural differences re dating ...again ,,, YOU pay ..  You'll know if she's a 'keeper; if she helps you spend wisely.
We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

Offline redking11

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« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2020, 02:19:49 PM »
Thanks for that advice. I'm traditional, I wouldn't let the lady pay for dinner even if she asked. At the same time, I'm not going to take a girl shopping and spend a grand on her after 1-2 dates either.

what do you mean by entitled? I don't think the man paying for dinner = entitled. To me that is just good manners.

Online Nightwish

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« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2020, 02:27:32 PM »
I really just don't know what to think about this. I signed up for 2 sites, Russiancupid and RBrides, I haven't even paid for them yet as I only wanted to look around. In 1-2 day I have 25 messages between the 2 sites (which I can't read) & received 18 "interest" notifications from women on Russiancupid. The women age in range from 22-42, but the majority of these women are  26-34 attractive to very attractive, & I'm just thinking this isn't real. Each and every one is a scammer who will ask for money or a fake profile with a fat dude is sitting  behind a computer. Can someone help me get my head on straight?
As long as you stick to the sites with monthly payment and dont venture off to those PPL sites, you are at least being smart.
To judge if a girl is serious, well that comes down to a lot of experience and being clever, you know the old saying, if it looks to good to be true........

You will be the hot item  :crackwhip: of the day when you open a new account, both with serious women and all those scammers, Cupid Media is known fishing waters for scammers in my experience, never really liked the place and I was signed up on 4 or 5 of them, got those red flags to often.

My opinion, given that I have been out of the game for a couple of years now, but my girl has a lot of friends in that age group your looking.

I would look for someone 30+, don't venture down to 24-27 ages, (in general now) in these days girls there are smart and savvy, they all have instagram, snapchat and tiktok, they see what others can have and they want the same.
Many of them have been out in the world, they are courted by many, not only locals, those Middle east guys love the FSU ladies and many of them have the wallet to lead with. (the bacon comment made by my girl was a reaction to all of those)
They are not looking for the quick way out, they want to the good life - so money do matters and there is a lot of local guys and others that can provide that in exchange for services rendered.

A woman say 31 with a child and single, yes you can almost bet your right arm she will be serious, but with kids can also problems arise, the fathers are almost never involved in any way, but if they hear another man is getting involved (especially WM), they will turn coat. Just be aware of that, and if/when things start to get serious, have that with you in conversations with the lady.
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Offline redking11

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« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2020, 02:47:17 PM »
Thank you for the advice. I think I'm going to leave the cupid  sites and look at the 2 other sites mentioned, DMnotify and FDating.

I don't really mind a woman looking for a man as a means for "the good life", it really isn't much different than dating an American woman or any other woman, as long as there are genuine feelings and the commitment is honest.

As for middle eastern guys, I have noticed several profiles what have specifically said No middle eastern men!

I often wonder, and it might make a good independent thread, is how often does a girl looking for the good life backfire on her? I.e. she finds that really rich guy and after a few years he trades her for a younger model, or the women always thinks she can do a little better, passes up on good prospects and one day wakes up and realizes that her age has made her less desirable and will now have to settle for someone less desirable than some guys she had passed up? I think it would be great to hear some stories from the women and get some of the views of the females.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2020, 03:10:06 PM by redking11 »

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« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2020, 03:17:02 PM »
Thank you for the advice. I think I'm going to leave the cupid  sites and look at the 2 other sites mentioned, DMnotify and FDating.

I don't really mind a woman looking for a man as a means for "the good life", it really isn't much different than dating an American woman or any other woman, as long as there are genuine feelings and the commitment is honest.

As for middle eastern guys, I have noticed several profiles what have specifically said No middle eastern men!

I often wonder, and it might make a good independent thread, is how often does a girl looking for the good life backfire on her? I.e. she finds that really rich guy and after a few years he trades her for a younger model, or the women always thinks she can do a little better, passes up on good prospects and one day wakes up and realizes that her age has made her less desirable and will now have to settle for someone less desirable than some guys she had passed up? I think it would be great to here some stories from the women and get some of the views of the females.

of course you are right in this, I meant to be very generic and a little over dramatic. Sometimes when I meet some of these younger girls in my girls group(26-27) they often talk about this "good life" they want, private jets, or at least first class ticket, going around the world, shopping in Dubai, Hong Kong and New York, they have a kind of twisted view on life - I blame Instagram hookers ooops, I meant models and "influencers" that has managed to make it a living that way. 
Now these girls are not looking to get married yet, they don't see themselves with kids for maybe 5-10 years. They have become very "westernized" even there.
Now my Tanya is from Kyiv, so this is ONE city, all these girls live in Kyiv also and this varies a lot when you venture out in to other parts of the country.
Russia, well I am not in any way an expert on them, I would guess Moscow/St Pete have sort of the same influences with a lot of tourists.

We all look to get a better life in some sense, and when coming from a poverty struck country like Ukraine where life is for many quite harsh and I get the feeling, people in general there are starting to give up the dream to ever get the country back on it's feet and prosper, Russia really don't want it, EU and US really don't want it, so who will help them.. on their own, it wont happen anytime soon unless there is a miracle. 
so of course one of the top priorities for them is to find a better life - that is why they are on a international dating site, but in the end, they are still women, like women are everywhere, just a lot more pretty, feminine and very very rarely overweight.
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« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2020, 05:28:32 PM »
1.  I am only familiar with black or white kings in chess.

2.  I think everyone who first posts info to a newbie should tell their bonifides.  My bonafides:  30 or more trips to FSU over 15 years or so (mostly on business for first 10 years of that) having first dates with over 150 FSU women, third dates and more with probably 50 or so, extended time (a week or more) with 20 or so, month long visits/trips with 9, and now living with FSU gal here in USA for 9 years.

3.  Full disclosure:  The gals I met were all aged 35 or older, so not necessarily having the same mind set of the age gals you are looking for.

4.  I would advise not dealing with any woman younger than 28.  I would really say 30, but given your age, 28 should be tried.  All sort of reasons, mostly to do with how realistic the gal will be regarding the guy she can attract, what her options are, etc.  The older they are, the more realistic they become (mostly).

5.  You can definitely 'trade up' in the FSU as to the gal you can attract and keep.  Although as a doc, I am surprised you cannot get a 28 year old 9-10 here in USA.

6.  As I understand from reading posts here and other forums for 20 years or so, the young FSU gals can be even more materialistic than USA gals.

7.  The vast majority of the age 35 plus FSU gals I met with were not over materialistic.  But maybe the same can be said for USA gals of this age group.  I have virtually no experience with dating USA gals because I knew early on that I could 'trade up' in the FSU, particularly regarding my criteria of 5'6" height or more, slender (not emaciated), highly intelligent, highly educated, much younger than me so they would still be interested in sex, interested in the finer arts, able to function in both a big city and country environment, able to interact with upper level income group (but not necessarily millionaires), no children younger than 17.
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Offline ML

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« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2020, 05:36:14 PM »
As a side note regarding your chances with 9-10 USA gals . . .

Several years back, I knew casually a couple that were in early 60s, married 35 or so years.  He was a surgeon.

Wife thought she would gain some leverage somehow . . . I don't remember her logic . . . so she told him she wanted a trial separation and that he should move out of their home.

He did, and within two weeks or so he was hooked up with a 30 something that was a 9.
Previously he had no affairs.

Wife then said it was OK for him to come back home.

He . . . No Way Jose !!
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Offline redking11

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« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2020, 06:37:00 PM »
1.  I am only familiar with black or white kings in chess.

2.  I think everyone who first posts info to a newbie should tell their bonifides.  My bonafides:  30 or more trips to FSU over 15 years or so (mostly on business for first 10 years of that) having first dates with over 150 FSU women, third dates and more with probably 50 or so, extended time (a week or more) with 20 or so, month long visits/trips with 9, and now living with FSU gal here in USA for 9 years.

3.  Full disclosure:  The gals I met were all aged 35 or older, so not necessarily having the same mind set of the age gals you are looking for.

4.  I would advise not dealing with any woman younger than 28.  I would really say 30, but given your age, 28 should be tried.  All sort of reasons, mostly to do with how realistic the gal will be regarding the guy she can attract, what her options are, etc.  The older they are, the more realistic they become (mostly).

4.1 Sometimes, I think women are more unrealistic about who they can attract than men are. Either that or women don't understand the majority of the guys, specifically the guys they rate higher really only want sex and they get confused about how popular they are for the actual marriage market.

5.  You can definitely 'trade up' in the FSU as to the gal you can attract and keep.  Although as a doc, I am surprised you cannot get a 28 year old 9-10 here in USA.

6.  As I understand from reading posts here and other forums for 20 years or so, the young FSU gals can be even more materialistic than USA gals.

7.  The vast majority of the age 35 plus FSU gals I met with were not over materialistic.  But maybe the same can be said for USA gals of this age group.  I have virtually no experience with dating USA gals because I knew early on that I could 'trade up' in the FSU, particularly regarding my criteria of 5'6" height or more, slender (not emaciated), highly intelligent, highly educated, much younger than me so they would still be interested in sex, interested in the finer arts, able to function in both a big city and country environment, able to interact with upper level income group (but not necessarily millionaires), no children younger than 17.

1. Don't know what that means

2. Check - you're the expert and I'll give your words weight. Please feel free to chime in on any of my questions as often as possible.

3. strange to think women change that much from 31 or 30 (my ideal age) and say 37

4. Agreed. Besides, I have zero desire to raise a 20 something child or be the butt of jokes among my colleagues and friends

5. I'm a resident, a such my income is in the $50k range, not that spectacular. I have observed & even had women admit to me they would take an engineer making, $100,000 now over someone who would be making $350,000 3 years down the road. I asked why & they basically said better a bird in the hand than 2 in the bush. You never know if the guy is going to keep you around for 3 years. Sound logic that I don't disagree with. Second reason I''m probably not attracting better quality women is I live in a smaller more rural area & the options are just dismal.

6. what is young?

7. I hope I can find a gal who is comfortable in smaller towns. I can't stand places like Dallas, Houston, L.A. Chicago ect. And yes, a woman with enough education & class to interact with & not totally embarrass me in front of the Hospital CEO would be great & is very difficult to find where I live. If you like trashy low class mexican women you'll love border towns. They are a great place to learn medicine due to rampant chronic health issues but a horrible place to look for a life partner.

ML, here's another one for you.

How do you think most FSUW you have gotten to know would view being asked to sign a prenup?

Before anyone starts, let me stop you right there. I'm not here to listen to anyone's criticism or judgment. I'm an adult, I can & will do what I want. I plan on being open, honest & up front about it with the lady so no one is going to be deceived. I am old enough & been in relationships long enough to know people change & you never know what is going to happen in 10 years. So keep your judgment to yourself, it wasn't asked for & wont change my mind anyways. Nor does this have anything to do with me thinking FSUW are gold diggers, I wouldn't marry an American woman without a prenup either.

Personally I think any man with a high income who doesn't get a prenup is foolish/naive. In my home state for example, after 10 years of marriage the husband owes alimony FOR LIFE. In the income bracket I'm going to be in, that is a 5-figure monthly check and I have worked too damn long & hard to just give that kind of money away. I know a surgeon who like most specialists works long hours, his wife got bored & lonely & started banging her fitness trainer. They got divorced & he writes a 5-figure check every month tot he woman who cheated on him. My Aunt refuses to re-marry because she doesn't want to lose her monthly 5-figure income. Lastly, when a woman knows she can walk out of a relationship & be set for life, she is less likely to put in the effort to try & make the relationship work. Thanks but I'll stay single before I risk $120,000+ a year for the rest of my life.

 
« Last Edit: June 04, 2020, 07:46:09 PM by redking11 »

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« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2020, 06:39:20 PM »
redking11, don't spend to much time thinking before you start this. Experience is the best teacher. Write a bunch of ladies. If you're smart, you learn how a real woman writes, an agency employee writes and scammer writes. Not hard to figure them out. Get on the phone with some of them. If they're happy to hear your voice every time you call, they may be sincerely into you. Scammers can't remain happy too long if you're not putting out money. Don't get involved with women who has problems that are solved with money.
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Offline redking11

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« Reply #16 on: June 04, 2020, 07:02:10 PM »
redking11, don't spend to much time thinking before you start this. Experience is the best teacher. Write a bunch of ladies. If you're smart, you learn how a real woman writes, an agency employee writes and scammer writes. Not hard to figure them out. Get on the phone with some of them. If they're happy to hear your voice every time you call, they may be sincerely into you. Scammers can't remain happy too long if you're not putting out money. Don't get involved with women who has problems that are solved with money.

I admit, I'm an over-thinker, over-analyzer and over-planner. Not to mention I am suspicious and mistrusting as hell. I'm the doc who assumes half the shit my patient tells me is a lie. well, depending on the patient it often is.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2020, 07:12:00 PM by redking11 »

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« Reply #17 on: June 05, 2020, 08:38:59 AM »
I admit, I'm an over-thinker, over-analyzer and over-planner. Not to mention I am suspicious and mistrusting as hell. I'm the doc who assumes half the shit my patient tells me is a lie. well, depending on the patient it often is.

A very bad trait (if you can't control it) if you start going down this path, one of the biggest reasons I sometimes argue with my girlfriend, and I mean like 99% of the time that happens, it is a simple misunderstanding in how she understands something to what I really meant, both in language and in actions/difference in culture - and vise verse of course.

and she speaks fairly good English, but also have in mind that English is not MY first language. So we are both to blame there.

You have to think two three times about what she said and did she really mean what she said/did and ask both yourself and her, did you really understand.

And I would say this is true for all the interactions I had with girls there over the years.
One of the first things I learned myself was to be open-minded, trust before mistrust, ask before jumping to conclusions.. many mistakes where made and is still being made, but I learn ;)

not to mention, FSU ladies can be devious as hell and test you in ways you never thought was possible  :whew:

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Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #18 on: June 05, 2020, 10:10:25 AM »
Forgive me for asking a 2nd question off topic from the original post.

Feel free to use this thread that you started to ask as many questions
as you think of. 


« Last Edit: June 05, 2020, 10:21:42 AM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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« Reply #19 on: June 05, 2020, 10:21:08 AM »
redking11, don't spend to much time thinking before you start this.

A little bit of planning goes a long way.

I made a list of every single thing I wanted in a woman. Then I made
a list of deal breakers. Stuff that I absolutely wouldn't tolerate. I put
the list in some kind of order from the most important to the most 
minutely important.

Then at least if the perfect girl came along I should spot her, or if
two high quality girls came along at the same time I would have
some sort of stick to measure them with so that a winner could
be declared. 

That's my two kopecks
« Last Edit: June 05, 2020, 10:36:11 AM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #20 on: June 05, 2020, 10:35:55 AM »
I admit, I'm an over-thinker, over-analyzer and over-planner. Not to mention I am suspicious and mistrusting as hell. I'm the doc who assumes half the shit my patient tells me is a lie. well, depending on the patient it often is.


Set a period of time as your analyzing/planning. Say 20 hours of forum
study and 20 hours of goal setting and organizing. Then a drop dead date
to start.

Write 30 girls and look at the results.

Once you start interacting with girls you will realize it that your favorite
girl in the beginning never ends up being your favorite as you continue
so over analyzing in the beginning doesn't yield better results.

There are no magic words, no magic formula or elixir in this pursuit.
In many ways it's a numbers game and you need to sort through 3
tons of sand and gravel to find one gold nugget. 

The most important thing is to find a good girl. You can compromise
on ANYTHING except character.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #21 on: June 05, 2020, 10:55:49 AM »
I admit, I'm an over-thinker, over-analyzer and over-planner. Not to mention I am suspicious and mistrusting as hell. I'm the doc who assumes half the shit my patient tells me is a lie. well, depending on the patient it often is.

Based on that revelation, maybe rethink about going through this endeavor. The chances of you meeting someone who is fluent in English, with all the language nuisances you are accustomed to, will be very low. Couple this with the obvious cultural differences - your relationship is destined to be doomed from the get-go.

It's one thing to be what you say you are, but adding a person in your life who will have initial challenges of FULLY relating everything in life with you during those precious initial months of marriage because of language and cultural barriers, will undoubtedly bring an added dimension of potential problems in both your lives.
Quote from: msmob
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Offline redking11

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #22 on: June 05, 2020, 01:18:48 PM »

not to mention, FSU ladies can be devious as hell and test you in ways you never thought was possible  :whew:

That's scary. Who can give examples and/or a story on this. I have a feeling a few guys out there have some stories worth telling.

Offline redking11

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #23 on: June 05, 2020, 01:28:02 PM »
Based on that revelation, maybe rethink about going through this endeavor. The chances of you meeting someone who is fluent in English, with all the language nuisances you are accustomed to, will be very low. Couple this with the obvious cultural differences - your relationship is destined to be doomed from the get-go.

It's one thing to be what you say you are, but adding a person in your life who will have initial challenges of FULLY relating everything in life with you during those precious initial months of marriage because of language and cultural barriers, will undoubtedly bring an added dimension of potential problems in both your lives.

I'm not too worried about it. I am mistrusting until I decide to trust. Also from moving to Germany and having to learn the language I understand what it is like not to be able to understand or convey nuance in language and I learned how to speak in a way that is more plain and direct to avoid misunderstanding. working in a border town with only basic Spanish skills makes this an everyday practice. I have compassion for people learning a foreign language. I don't need her to be at a fluency level where she is understanding idioms and nuance just the ability to convey straight forward information. If I meet a girl with the language abilities I feel I need, great, if not, what will I lose? A few wonderful trips to countries I haven't been to yet but would go to eventually anyways. I've learned not to try and force everything and enjoy the journey.

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #24 on: June 06, 2020, 02:58:13 AM »
Some advice from someone who did not participate in searching for 15 years,  note that everything I mention may be outdated1. Women might contact you if they think you are a good catch, but in general expect you to do the work. They make themselves available, it is up to you to make use of that.While it is possible for women to contact you, be careful on a site where you pay per contact, it might just be the agency wanting you to spend cash and women will disappear once no more cash is to be made.2. Be prepared. That means have things like Skype and Whatssapp, Viber and other thingsat hand to exchange. Every woman of legal age (and below) has a mobile phone.3. Know when you can travel.  Yes you really will need to travel and meet the woman. While booking tickets on forehand is not to be advised, you might be sure your passport is up to date, you know who will take care of your kid for short time and when you might travel.4. Russian is not more complicated than German. It has more or less the same number of tenses, and while more Latin than Germanic the spoken language is phonetic. Al you need is to learn the aphabet to get basic understanding.5. This will cost time and money. Know what you can spend and if you can support your future family.
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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #25 on: June 06, 2020, 03:01:27 AM »
Some advice from someone who did not participate in searching for 15 years,  note that everything I mention may be outdated1. Women might contact you if they think you are a good catch, but in general expect you to do the work. They make themselves available, it is up to you to make use of that.While it is possible for women to contact you, be careful on a site where you pay per contact, it might just be the agency wanting you to spend cash and women will disappear once no more cash is to be made.2. Be prepared. That means have things like Skype and Whatssapp, Viber and other thingsat hand to exchange. Every woman of legal age (and below) has a mobile phone.3. Know when you can travel.  Yes you really will need to travel and meet the woman. While booking tickets on forehand is not to be advised, you might be sure your passport is up to date, you know who will take care of your kid for short time and when you might travel.4. Russian is not more complicated than German. It has more or less the same number of tenses, and while more Latin than Germanic the spoken language is phonetic. Al you need is to learn the aphabet to get basic understanding.5. This will cost time and money. Know what you can spend and if you can support your future family.

Please note I know RU ladies who DO have mob phones but 'smart' they aint ..so there'd be no SKYPE, WhatsApp , etc. though they are few and far between and not in the market for a western guy ))

I'd say ( 6 years out of date dating advice, here ) that this is sound advice.


Having studied, FR, Latin, Greek, German and Russian ... I found RU the hardest ..but I'm getting older..

Don't worry about the grammar ..just concentrate on Vocab is MY advice.. and 'his' ..







« Last Edit: June 06, 2020, 03:04:21 AM by msmob »
We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #26 on: June 06, 2020, 03:04:21 AM »
Please note I know RU ladies who DO have mob phones but 'smart' they aint ..so there'd be no SKYPE, WhatsApp , etc. though they are few and far between and not in the market for a western guy ))

I'd say ( 6 years out of date dating advice, here ) that this is sound advice.
If my MIL at 78 years of age can figure out Whattsapp calling I doubt any younger woman can not  ;D
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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #27 on: June 06, 2020, 03:05:30 AM »
If my MIL at 78 years of age can figure out Whattsapp calling I doubt any younger woman can not  ;D

I will inform Sveta's older friends to invest in a smartphone
We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

Offline redking11

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #28 on: June 06, 2020, 04:57:11 AM »
Russian has 6 cases. German has 4 and there isn't a website out there that doesn't list it as more difficult. Everything else sounded like solid advice.

Offline rwd123

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #29 on: June 06, 2020, 08:07:27 AM »
There are no hard and fast rules - but no substitute for experience. I've had a mix of short and long-term relationships with FSUW over the past 20 years; lived in the FSU, spent a lot of time there in 2018 but due to two cancelled trips in the last six months not a lot of recent experience. I travel more for business and personal reasons, not for dating. Not actively pursuing because I'm busy and the borders are closed. I sometimes help n00bs in Moscow airports too, LOL.  :P

FSUW will have cultural differences, but you'll meet a mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly if you date enough of them. As 2tallbill always says - try and find a good girl. The unmarried ones who are 30+ are as rare as hen's teeth (same goes for men); the so-so girls are time wasters.

Given your situation (37yo, divorced, daughter, wants more kids, professional, mid-level salary with potential for high salary, tall, overweight, average looks, no language skills, likely to want a prenup) my two cents...

Focus on women aged 30-35 (no younger than 28). You'll get more interest from women who are already mothers. Younger women will drain your time, will seriously suck your time and it is the most important thing you have (other than your daughter).

Ukraine is more troublesome than Russia so I'd not necessarily avoid Ukraine altogether but it wouldn't be a bad choice for you. Read the trip reports of the “beard” and ukjames… out of their depth. No shame in that but learn from their stories. Pat’s Operation White Panther thread will give further insights, but he is waaay more experienced to deal with Ukrainian women. The further away from major cities and further away from Europe, the less English speakers. If you speak conversational Russian, you’ll easily expand your dating pool five-fold.

Things have shifted towards dating apps. Badoo and Tinder are widely used. Many or most women on these apps may not be interested in foreigners, but some are. Fakes and working girls should be easy to spot. Pro-daters probably won't be a concern for you while the borders are closed because they know you cannot be fleeced. They'll probably just ignore you for now. The only paid site I'd consider is Elena's Models. Not to say you can't meet a future wife on another site, but I had by far the most interaction on EM. Avoid Russian Cupid; Ukraine Date is worse. Mamba? LOL, no.

Be prepared to crash and burn on the first trip, or even the first few, because there are cultural differences that you simply won't "get" without experience. Once you're on the big bucks you can hire me as an on-the-ground consultant, LOL.

Don't become infatuated with a photo. IMO 80% of women look worse (some much worse), 10% look about the same, and 10% look better. Finally, don't think with your dick. It has to be said. Use your head, the big one!

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #30 on: June 06, 2020, 08:23:03 AM »
The unmarried ones who are 30+ are as rare as hen's teeth

Do you mean 'good girls' in this age-group ?

Unless there's been a dating revolution in just over half a decade, I strongly disagree that they are 'rare as hen's teeth'.   

Gold nuggets are rarely to be found easily without digging and getting one's hands dirty ;)

Most folks don't consider Siberia and Southern Russia ...   
We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

Offline ML

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #31 on: June 06, 2020, 09:03:30 AM »
Regarding pre-nups , there are a couple of very long threads on  that topic somewhere here.
Others who are better at this than me . . . please find and post for this guy.

Myself, I was a big promoter of pre-nups, while many others were against.

Another thread here asked guys to fill in the questionnaire regarding yearly income and another for total net worth.

Results indicated a VAST spread of yearly income levels and net worth . . . thus explaining the two opposite opinions regarding pre-nups . . . and the often extremely judgemental wording used by those with little to lose.   So be ready for the 'holier than thou' group.

Then, interestingly (or not), I did not have a pre-nup when I married my FSU gal back in 2014.  My situation was much different from yours, and was reasoned something like:  I was advancing in age, I had lived a very full life, traveled the world, experienced many, many things and sights, spent quality time with dozens of women, had provided quite a bit for my two adult children and left generous trust funds for future grandchildren, had zero debts, and could live comfortably off only Social Security if it came down to that.

A few months after our marriage, some news show was talking about pre-nups and wife said to me:  "Why didn't you want me to sign such, I would have?"
I just replied something like:  "I didn't feel it was necessary" . . . and never commented further.

Now, back to your current question and your current situation regarding pre-nups:

First, It will be a hard situation for you.  It will raise many, many concerns for the women, even among two groups of women.  Some will understand them and some (the FSU gals) will be baffled by the idea.
It will not go over good with any of them.

Second, you have a serious misconception about the basics of pre-nups.
They WILL NOT protect you against having to pay huge or small alimony to ex-wives.

Pre-nups are mostly to protect each party regarding their existing owned assets prior to marriage.
I gather that, for you, this is a relatively small number at this point.

Third, judges often ignore pre-ups partially or in totality anyway . . . particularly for foreign wives, even if such wife employs a separate attorney speaking in her native language.

- - - - - -

On a separate issue, and that I have raised before . . .

I think, given your future situation, you are foolish to be even considering looking abroad for a wife.
Those of us who have done so are losers in some respect with regard to being able to find the mate they desire in the home country.  In my case, it was the age gap I needed for an enthusiastic sex partner.  (I actually curse my continued sex drive).

In 3 years, or sooner, you CAN attract a 9-10 gal right here in USA, and she might even likely be a doctor or another highly paid professional.  A high number of MDs even seem to be married to nurses.  I have been in and out of hospitals quite a bit the last 2 years and there are a number of fairly stunning looking nurses  walking about.

Sure, the pickings might be slim in your current location . . . so put some effort into looking at larger cities in Texas or where ever.  Do some networking . . . make some trips to visit with fellow MDs in those places, go to cocktail parties, go to whatever events are occurring for medical people, etc.

Looking for a foreign wife is a royal PIA and takes much, much time.  Time which you, as a growing professional, do really not have and should not devote any time to.  If you do so, your career will suffer.

Again, those of us who have done it, did so out of necessity.   You do not have the limitations we had.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #32 on: June 06, 2020, 10:04:17 AM »


Looking for a foreign wife is a royal PIA and takes much, much time.  Time which you, as a growing professional, do really not have and should not devote any time to.  If you do so, your career will suffer.

Again, those of us who have done it, did so out of necessity.   You do not have the limitations we had.

WHAAAT ? ..

 'Necessity' ?

You've lost me here, ML



We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

Offline ML

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #33 on: June 06, 2020, 10:32:12 AM »
Those of us who have searched for, found, and married a foreign born wife living in a economically disadvantaged country have done so out of necessity.

We could not find and keep a woman of similar qualities and criteria in our home countries.

We can deny this . . . but it doesn't change the truth of it.

The OP should not go this route because (in his situation, particularly in 3 years) he can search for, find, and keep a woman meeting his criteria right here in USA.

Any 36 year old decent looking guy about to make a quarter of a million a year or more would be highly foolish to look for a foreign wife when he could really find the gal of his dreams right here in USA.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #34 on: June 06, 2020, 10:34:13 AM »
Do you mean 'good girls' in this age-group ?

I read it to mean "never married" gals in that age group.
Certainly there are good girls in that group.






FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #35 on: June 06, 2020, 10:43:47 AM »
I sometimes help n00bs in Moscow airports too, LOL.  :P

Lol, I still think of that day often.... what are the chances that you sit near and strike up a conversation with one random person in the airport that day and it’s a fellow member!!

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #36 on: June 06, 2020, 10:50:15 AM »
:O
We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

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Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #37 on: June 06, 2020, 11:00:57 AM »
Those of us who have searched for, found, and married a foreign born wife
living in a economically disadvantaged country have done so out of necessity.

Necessity and supply and demand.

Back in 2014 how many unmarried women were there in Rural North Dakota?
It was less than zero. The entire population of unmarried women were
either younger than 18 or older than 80. All the rest were taken.

It took me 24 hours to drive from Rural North Dakota to Portland Oregon.
It took me 20 hours door to door to get from Rural North Dakota to
Voronezh Russia. I went to Russia because it was closer!!

In Norf Dekody they had zero wimmin even the toothless crones were
taken. In Russia they have countless hot unmarried women who were
late 30's and early 40's. They had countless women with University
degrees, with small buts, immaculate nails, beautiful eyes, long legs
and long hair.

IT WAS A NO BRAINER!!! 


« Last Edit: June 06, 2020, 11:13:14 AM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline ML

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #38 on: June 06, 2020, 01:16:34 PM »
Those of us who have searched for, found, and married a foreign born wife living in a economically disadvantaged country have done so out of necessity.

Let me provide two addendums:

1) Three of the guys here (out of the dozens who will claim) did not do so out of necessity.

2) Finding a mate in an economically disadvantaged country does not mean you are taking advantage of the gal.  You are both getting what you want.

For example, many of us (my wife certainly) go to plant shops later in the season and even at the end of the season to buy items discounted 50-90%.  This is to our economic advantage, but doesn't mean we are taking advantage of the seller.  The sellers know they will get zero for the items at some point.  So both buyers and sellers are getting something of value.
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Offline redking11

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #39 on: June 06, 2020, 03:52:19 PM »

The OP should not go this route because (in his situation, particularly in 3 years) he can search for, find, and keep a woman meeting his criteria right here in USA.

Any 36 year old decent looking guy about to make a quarter of a million a year or more would be highly foolish to look for a foreign wife when he could really find the gal of his dreams right here in USA.

The real value in this thread has been in forcing me to think about what I want in a woman, why I am looking to the FSU, & really forcing me to ask myself if what I want is over there. This is what I have come to so far.

I'm impatient to start my family. I don't enjoy being single & at 36 almost 37, I don't want to wait 2 years for the income, before I become desirable marriage material for an American woman. I feel like the clock is ticking for me to be an active engaged father & not just an old guy with kids. However, I'm not attracting/finding women with the physical beauty or with the character & values I want. I could wait 2 years until I have the income to see if that changes or I could look in the FSU now, but that comes with the problems of cultural & language barriers.

The other question is: is what I want even to be found over there?

What I want:

I've never been one of those guys who needed to date a 10 to feel attracted or fulfilled. As long as I'm sexually attracted to the woman & respect who she is as a person I'm happy. In fact, I've dated 9's & 10s & lost sexual interest in them after losing respect for them or feeling mistreated by them. Finding a woman I respect has been the difficult part. As a doctor, you must be extremely hard working, driven, independent, motivated, & organized. Honestly the path to MD is pure hell. You cannot simply wake up in the morning & wander through life without goals, plans, & drive. I find most women, (to be fair, I find most people, in the U.S.) to be of pretty weak character & I find professional woman to be unfeminine, liberal, & not family orientated. Conclusion I want a women with character, loyalty, the ability to overcome & endure hardships, isn't spoiled, entitled, & selfish. I find American women who grew up middle class or higher, who have always been given everything by their daddies almost never meet this criteria. 

I was raised to believe motherhood was as valuable if not more so than my role as provider. I look at women who don't want children like there is something unnatural about them. I was taught raising children was the most important accomplishment in life. (If you're thinking I grew up religious you are right, even if I'm not anymore, some values stick). I believe it's the man's duty is to provide protection, financial security, & be the leader. While the woman is to care for the home, children, & her husband. I don't mean she is a glorified maid. I always helped with the cooking & cleaning. I mean more so in bringing that intangible feminine grace, peace, & perspective into a home as well as emotional support ect. I watched this video (link below). The purpose of the video was to show how horrible Russian women were. It had the opposite effect on me. I thought wow if this is how Russian women think, I want one! Except for the very end of the video which in my opinion is nothing more than a man abusing his role as the head of the household, traditional roles do not equal control of the woman. IMO traditional gender roles are 2 people teaming up & taking on equally valuable roles they are more biologically suited for. Let's be honest, it would also be nice to ask your wife for something to eat without being called a chauvinistic pig. I was frustrated in my marriage because I felt I had no control over my life. One time my ex moved 9 hours across TX to Houston with my daughter so she could be close to her parents. I was told if I wanted to be close to her I better move too. I would make simple requests like no, you should buy this car not that car, I don't think we can afford the more expensive one, then basically told to fuck off. Of course when she couldn't make her payment, it was my responsibility. In a nutshell the ex did whatever she wanted & I could be damned. Conclusion: I'm looking for someone who prioritizes family & has traditional values, at least in gender roles.



Is what I want in a woman to be found in the FSU?

The hell if I know. Maybe the character/values of FSUW is all myth. That is basically what I am hearing in this thread. I hear they are very materialistic & just as entitled thinking they are going to end up on private jets ect. I messaged with an attractive 30 yo woman with a 7 month old daughter. P.S. A child doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I'd prefer she have a child. Children mature you & change your priorities. With a 5 yo I need a women with that mindset already in place. She told me she got knocked up by a 23 yo guy. I'm thinking, what kind of 30yo woman thinks a good lay is worth risking getting knocked up by a 23 year old? No shit he isn't around & you are making it on your own. I instantly lost respect & interest for her. Between that early experience & what I am hearing on this thread I'm thinking, Don't waste your time over there.

On the other hand, the youtube video makes me think maybe she is over there. Conclusion Unless after reading this you guys can tell me something more definitive about FSUW, I guess the only way to find out is to go over there & get to know a few women.   

I will take ML's advice though. I'll put more effort into looking for women from the U.S. & expand my geographical search. I'll have accumulated enough vacation time by early fall for a trip and go with the attitude of  It never hurts to look, maybe I find someone maybe I don't, just enjoy the ride. I've been as open & soul bearing as possible here feel free to be blunt with me. 
« Last Edit: June 06, 2020, 04:47:58 PM by redking11 »

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #40 on: June 06, 2020, 06:47:43 PM »
is what I want even to be found over there?


I dated FSU women living in America while I was communicating with FSU women overseas. I found my Ukrainian wife living in Libya and met for the first time in Ukraine. There are perfect girls for you in every country. Don't limit yourself to looking in one spot. Look for a wife as hard as you worked in MD school. You're likely to get good results.

The horror stories you heard about American women are true. But there are many good, not overweight, and family oriented American women but most are married and they tend to stay married so what's left over isn't appealing. A lot of good women overseas hold out longer for a suitable partner and financially secure is one thing they look for in a partner so Western men have an edge over the local boys.

Conclusion: I'm looking for someone who prioritizes family & has traditional values, at least in gender roles.


My wife is conservative and we both are fine with gender roles. She does the dishes, vacuum the floor and I take care of the cars and outside. We don't have a calendar telling us who's turn it is to do what. There is no finger pointing if something doesn't get done because we know our roles. Discuss how you envision a family should be before marrying any woman.
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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #41 on: June 06, 2020, 09:03:03 PM »
The other question is: is what I want even to be found over there?
...
Conclusion I want a women with character, loyalty, the ability to overcome & endure hardships, isn't spoiled, entitled, & selfish.
Needle meets haystack. :)

That's where you may need to compromise on any set of criteria for a future wife. Personally I don't care too much about age or if a woman has children* but character is non-negotiable. You can't judge that over the Internet.

*I'll ask straight up about the relationship they have with their father, and if relocation would be an issue.

Maybe the character/values of FSUW is all myth.
Of course it is. Women are different. There are distinct cultural differences but women are women.

Consider a holiday to Russia with your daughter. She will probably love Russian circuses. The puppet theatres are great but she won't understand the dialogue. Sochi Park can be fun, also the Experimentarium in Moscow. I'd suggest you plan a holiday with your daughter so you have a taste (of Russia) first before dating... or even sneak in a date or two on that trip.

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #42 on: June 07, 2020, 04:04:27 AM »
You can find what you look for anywhere, the point is to not exclude anything.Before meeting MrsShadow I looked locally, the US, Argentina, Norway, Ukraine and a number of other places.But remember you got to live with theworst habit of a person, not the best ones.
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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #43 on: June 07, 2020, 04:07:31 AM »
Russian has 6 cases. German has 4 and there isn't a website out there that doesn't list it as more difficult. Everything else sounded like solid advice.
You may be right. For me after Lantin, Arab and ancient Greek the Russian language did not seem overly complicated...
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Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #44 on: June 07, 2020, 10:48:56 AM »
The other question is: is what I want even to be found over there?

They have EVERYTHING in the FSU and every type of woman.
They have women who can sing like angels and women who
makes the neighbors dog cry when they sing in the shower.

They have women who can cook up a feast from scraps they
found in the refrigerator and they have women who can set off
the smoke alarm boiling water for tea. They have women who
can do advanced calculus and they have women who can't count
to 11 without using their toes.

They have angels and they have women who are evil incarnated.

I spent a lot of time doing everything wrong, chasing the wrong
women from the wrong place and the wrong age. I started refining
my processes and tactics and got progressively better at this each
time that I tried. I spent 9 years finding my Angel Eyes. Life interrupted
my search, business upheaval, a family sickness and later death, local
girl friends and a multitude other things caused me to pause my pursuit. 

Pursuing an FSUW takes a lot of time, money and emotional resources.


One time my ex

You had a bad experience with a local girl, we all have. Earlier I advised
spending time, making a list of what you want and what you don't want. 
My list had plenty of exwife stuff on the 'don't want' side of the ledger.

I especially decided that I would know the person inside and out before
I married her.

I'll bet that you saw the prerequisites to your exwife's flaws before you
married her. I advise this time looking deeply into a woman especially
her character before marrying her. This is your excellent chance to get
it right.

You have to kick a girl with character issues to the curb no matter how
hot she is. So many men can't do this.


I will take ML's advice though. I'll put more effort into looking for
women from the U.S. & expand my geographical search.

I've been as open & soul bearing as possible here feel free to be blunt with me.

It's really the time thing that worries me about your situation.
I spent a zillion hours on finding, getting to know and winning
Angel Eyes heart. I visited her 4 times in one year, she came
to visit me twice. (I only spent 9 years trying to find her).

« Last Edit: June 07, 2020, 10:51:24 AM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #45 on: June 19, 2020, 12:56:34 AM »
I am too tired tonight to make any lengthy contributions.....or advice.  From a single reply....#44....I would recommend 2tallbill's post #44. I have not been here in quite a few months. I enjoyed a small glass or three of good port.....expecting to read....not advise. "redking11" You strike me as a fairly sane, logical fellow. You ask questions.....and sometimes give your "own" answers.......most of which seem fairly sound. "2tallbill", BillyB and others offer sound advice. There is no perfect "system".........No "perfect advice". You are considering a mate who is not only a "woman"......but of a different culture. From what I see about your character.......your expectations are sound......you seem to answer (in a good way) your own questions....with reasonable answers.


I am 67 years old. The problem with this forum........is the age of its members. 15 years ago My advice would be considered "sage advice".......married a whole 3 years. But now at almost 17 years of marriage.......the "experts" here......think any advice from such a person.......is old fashioned......out-dated. I can only offer a few tidbits.......hardly advice......on this process.


1) COMMUNICATION - In 2000 I went to Russia for the first time. My friend had met a woman from a company called "Lifetime Partners" based in California......with an office in Tver, Russia. I was going to Australia in six months......but changed my mind after meeting a future friend who lived about an hour drive away. We met on Russian Women Guide. He was going beck to see his fiancee.......I was making my first trip to see Russia. I used some of the services from his agency.......but I was not interested in finding a Russian wife. To make a long story short .......I wrote 16 letters to women in Tver.
I received 14 replies (yes old-fashioned letters......typed by hand......signed with a pen......handwritten returned address.....with a real stamp} One was engaged........one was away for the summer.........but did contact me at the end of my trip.The letters were brief.....2 paragraphs.....telling about myself and asking questions about the women. 15 replies out of 16 letters......compare that to today.


I found my wife on a small obscure dating site called TrueLoves.com......defunct long ago. The sight was started by a guy who built the site to find his own Russian bride. A very nice guy (had half-dozen phone calls) who would not tolerate fake profiles etc. He was "US"......just on of the guys. He did find that perfect RW. I was lucky to find his website. I was looking for a guide/interpreter to show me around Stavropol, Russia. My (future) wife was registered on TrueLoves by her friends......not herself. She had helped so many friends interpreting letters etc.......with foreigners. She was not interested in finding a foreign husband. she had a good job.....a lot of friends......nice relatives. I hired her as a guide/interpreter for three days......but after more than 100 hours of phone calls....in three months......it turned in to two weeks. 100 hundred hours of phone calls.....and no question marks during our conversations. I was lucky. She had taught English at a foreign language academy for fifteen years. I was 49.....she was 38.




2) OVER THINKER< OVER PLANNER< OVER ANALYZER.........
I was in LifeTime Partners office one morning when a (about 40) Japanese American accountant came into the office. I asked him ..what he was reading ? he had a notebook with about 70 pages in it. He said it was his manual for finding the perfect mate. I said....."interesting". After a few days he asked me out for breakfast across the street. He noticed I seemed to enjoy the dating process. I told him I was previously married.....and learned a few things.
The next day.....I offered to pay for breakfast. I asked if I could look at his notebook. I glanced through it.......then tossed it into a waste basket near-by.
He looked horrified !!! I picked the notebook out of the trash......and gave it back to him. The next day he showed-up.......sans the noerbook.......he said he would try it with-out the book. By the end of his three-week trip he was was engaged. Nice girl....nice guy....nice couple. Do your homework......but don't overdo it.


3) SCALES


1-10..............The biggest roadblock for "men" especially. Never liked "scale of 1 - 10........(hint) women do not like it .......either. You can make it easier on yourself. My "scale".......(After divorce)......became "YES....or....NO". If you are attracted (physically) then move on to other important things.




Other stuff,


Just too old & tired,


Capt B
"A Yooper in Moscovia"

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #46 on: June 19, 2020, 04:25:07 PM »
I am 67 years old. The problem with this forum........is the age of its members.
15 years ago My advice would be considered "sage advice".......married a
whole 3 years. But now at almost 17 years of marriage.......the "experts" here......think any advice from such a person.......is old fashioned......
out-dated. I can only offer a few tidbits.......hardly advice......on
this process.

Capt B

The boy looks for girl, boy finds girl, boy seduces girl and wins her
heart only the VERY first item is different than from when my
80 year old Dad was single (I was 7 when he got married the second
time).

All the important stuff still is done analog.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #47 on: June 19, 2020, 10:34:36 PM »
Only "too old and tired"..........last night......after polishing off a half bottle of a good red port.


Capt B
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Re: Weeding our fake profiles
« Reply #48 on: June 19, 2020, 11:33:21 PM »
What percentage of profiles on the more popular dating sites like Russiancupid, Ukrainecupid and Rbrides are fake?

What are some things that make you guys think a profile is fake? Some things that cause me to tag a profile as fake are: 1. the woman messages me first 2. the profile isn't filled out at all or has very little information. 3. the women looks like a model and all the photos are professional photos with no photos from everyday life. 4. the woman's profile says she is looking for a guy is about any age range, (I don't really think a 31 yo woman is interested in a 65 yo man.) 4. If I do get a message it is very bland and non-specific. 5. some information doesn't seem to be realistic like height and weight ratios are far off.

What other things to you guys see as redflags? I'd love to hear what you look for and what you think of my perspective.

also, other than the 3 sites I mentioned what other sites are our there that people use and like?

Hi Redking, I think the sites you mention are more towards the PPL model or at least see out to cash in. I got that impression when I checked out Russian Cupid a while back. I know I quickly left the site because of that reason or because the women contacting me were numerous very quickly within a short time period and with obvious fake profiles. Think it may have been the case that I was deluged with these without even having put up a photo. That is always a good move to make if you want to see how genuine a site is put up a profile without a photo and if you get a load of correspondence through then it's not a good news day. I mean how many genuine women are going to contact a guy who they can't even see his photo? They want to know what the guy at least looks like, who they are talking to, if they find him hot and for security concerns of course.

If my memory serves me right I think the Russian Cupid site had a category of 'bra size' for the lady to put down. Nice for us men to know but another sign as to the implausibility of the site/profiles. Women in general even in the FSU don't tend to feel right disclosing that info to the general male population unless there is a pretty good reason. It seems more to get the men horny, another red flag. Ukraine Cupid I vaguely recall us the same as Russian Cupid, it's their sister site, same format I recall.


FDating isn't a bad free site to get going on, there a a few fake profiles and scammers there but I believe way, way less than Russian Cupid etc. Stuff you mention can be Red Flags but not always. Other stuff can be just one photo in the profile, the photo looking like it could be off a billboard or similar, the girl wanting to take you to a PPL site to correspond further - a classic scammer technique, etc. I think you would certainly do better to drop using sites like Russian Cupid and the like. There may be some genuine profiles there but you're giving yourself a harder task being deluged by those that aren't.

Other thing to take on board that even genuine profiles on whatever site doesn't necessarily mean the girl doesn't have motives that aren't sincere. Some girls are after an immigration mule, some only want to meet up with guys to get him to buy her stuff, some just want to meet up for casual enjoyment, some just to meet a foreigner, etc.

You can off course meet a girl who is interested vin a long term relationship even marriage and kids but dealing with a site where there are a ton of scammers and fake profiles isn't making the odds any easier. You tend to learn along the way though many tale tale signs though that something is not right. It takes time to learn this, travelling out to meet women only to find out that they may have other motives worked in, etc. So pay careful attention to how the girl corresponds with you and these take take signs can show. It can really be a case of going out and meeting different girls to get the experience though to know. Trying to believe you know without much experience can cause a problem in itself. Some guys end up making the mistake of becoming Scammer Hunters and end up finding what they most sought to avoid in the first place by obsessing over it. As they saying goes, 'you find what you are looking for if you look hard enough'. Some guys even think girls are scammers when they aren't because if the tinyest of matters such as a profile not being fully filled out, etc.

Depending on your level of activity in going out to see FSW it may be between 2-3 years, possibly more before you can tell within a short space of correspondence whether there might be issues there. I would definitely leave the site you are on though and try Fdate, DMnotify, etc.
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