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Author Topic: The Purpose of Trip Reports  (Read 1073 times)

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Offline BC

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« on: December 06, 2020, 02:59:17 AM »
Moby,

IMO japtats should be out there doing whatever floats his boat, having fun and maybe experiencing some not so much fun.  I reckon that's called 'learning'.  He has the advantage of youth if I understand correctly and a couple of hookup apps we didn't have back in our dating days.

He ain't some 50-60 yo codger like many of us going to some speed dating agency looking to find a much younger, sexy, subservient (we called it traditional) bride to put in his suitcase, or if that doesn't happen at least get laid once or thrice.

Sure, I think he could benefit from listening to experiences like those shared by Davo and others, but I don't think we should be criticizing, much less telling him what to do or not to do or how to do it.  Maybe we don't need his kind of learnin' but some other young bloke that runs across this thread just might benefit from japtat's experiences.

It's a TR after all....  so why not listen instead and simply share our similar experiences instead of ending up arguing over his 'approach'?

Offline msmob

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2020, 04:32:42 AM »
Moby,

IMO japtats should be out there doing whatever floats his boat, having fun and maybe experiencing some not so much fun.  I reckon that's called 'learning'.  He has the advantage of youth if I understand correctly and a couple of hookup apps we didn't have back in our dating days.

He ain't some 50-60 yo codger like many of us going to some speed dating agency looking to find a much younger, sexy, subservient (we called it traditional) bride to put in his suitcase, or if that doesn't happen at least get laid once or thrice.

Sure, I think he could benefit from listening to experiences like those shared by Davo and others, but I don't think we should be criticizing, much less telling him what to do or not to do or how to do it.  Maybe we don't need his kind of learnin' but some other young bloke that runs across this thread just might benefit from japtat's experiences.

It's a TR after all....  so why not listen instead and simply share our similar experiences instead of ending up arguing over his 'approach'?

BC,

I have no issue with Japats doing whatever 'floats' his boat; as long as he doesn't mind accepting when he posts some 'interesting theories' they can be challenged by those of us with considerably more experience over the years ;)

*I* am not 'arguing' with him ...  nor do I mind if he mentions my failures, if in context .... 




Offline BC

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2020, 06:46:38 AM »
Moby,

One of the grand fallacies around all these FSUW related boards is that there are 'experts' or those that know better than others.  A good number of folks married to FSU partners 'did the deed' in very different ways than the classic MOB way from 'back then'.  Many of 'em were not even looking for a wife.

I can say I don't know squat about meeting women via social or apps which seems to have become more 'norm' than not all over the world.  I can say my experience may have been of interest or helped someone 20 years or so ago, but certainly not of much value to someone going there today.

Japtats went to FSU for a long trip (not the norm), seems to be enjoying life there and getting a better 'feel' of the goings-on with women that somewhat approximating his age group and interests.  That IMO is just as valid as anyone else's experience. 

Bottom line, there is no right or wrong way.  Can't we simply let japtats continue to share his experiences, both good and bad, without undue 'guidance', critique, objections or whatever one wants to call it?

Offline msmob

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2020, 02:01:49 AM »
BC,

*I* have lived in FSU nations more than than most on here.

I didn't spend my time suggesting to others how to serially date and one night stands and return home with nothing to show for it, but 'memories'.

If pointing out that for some, 'success' is not getting an STI ( or even believing they had one) is now a 'negative', for you.....

Offline BC

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2020, 04:24:04 AM »
Indeed you have had your experience spending a good bit of time in FSU.  Share your experience liberally and others can parse it for thought, maybe action, maybe not.

Others spending less or more time than you will have their experiences as well that will likely differ from yours, or mine.  That's quite ok.

Some were interested in going to FSU and having a good time, nary a thought of marriage or LTR.  That's fine too as some seem to have found a partner anyway.

If someone has a question or asks advice, sure, give it liberally.  Even critique.  But if someone is simply sharing their TR experiences without soliciting specific feedback, best left alone.  Sure, if you had a similar event share, but without unsolicited advice or critique.  Such reminds me of what my mother told me when going on a date. ;)

JMO in general terms.




Offline msmob

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2020, 05:55:10 AM »
BC,

So, to be clear that's your opinion?

If Japats chose to post in the no comment section, I understand.

If he posts where we can comment and his advice is awful..given my greater experience.. It is my opinion that those seriously at variance with my experience...and likely to ruin the chances of others should be set out.

Snagging other guys wives in a nation where you do not even understand the lingo fits into that category, in my opinion...as does letting little brain override big brains warning bells re returning home with a life time memory, you will want to forget, but is ever present.

Unless, you have experienced such an issue ( and many may  have but choose to keep in private)  you would not wish it on any poster ..

Offline BC

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2020, 06:48:47 AM »
Moby,

Quote
If he posts where we can comment and his advice is awful..given my greater experience.. It is my opinion that those seriously at variance with my experience...and likely to ruin the chances of others should be set out.

The section is 'Trip Reports' which I see as a different beast than a normal discussion thread.  It is an account of a member's experiences during a trip. 

If something comes up in a trip report that another member sees as worthy of discussion, a new normal discussion topic can always be opened for that specific topic.

IMO - and yes this is all my opinion, a TR should not become simply a mishmash of different topics. 'Hijacking' comes to mind.

Exmple

'I stayed at a nice hotel and the food was really great!'

An appropriate response might be 'Ohh.. what hotel was it?' and not be 'well, here is a list of all the best hotels I have stayed at during my visit' with others offering even more suggestions which should be in a topic for itself...

Bottom line, I think we should respect those that post TR's and not act like mother hen giving further unsolicited advice.  After all, most of what is reported has already happened anyway.

If someone gets on a plane they are big boys and girls.  Even what we believe may be a mistake, can certainly work out well for them, even if it turns out to be a learning experience.

p.s. I'll be asking mods to delete our exchange in short order, as it should not be posted here anyway.  If you want, we can continue in another thread and I'll move the messages there instead.
 


Offline ML

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2020, 08:25:15 AM »
The section is 'Trip Reports' which I see as a different beast than a normal discussion thread.  It is an account of a member's experiences during a trip. 

If something comes up in a trip report that another member sees as worthy of discussion, a new normal discussion topic can always be opened for that specific topic.

IMO - and yes this is all my opinion, a TR should not become simply a mishmash of different topics. 'Hijacking' comes to mind.

Exmple

'I stayed at a nice hotel and the food was really great!'

An appropriate response might be 'Ohh.. what hotel was it?' and not be 'well, here is a list of all the best hotels I have stayed at during my visit' with others offering even more suggestions which should be in a topic for itself...

Bottom line, I think we should respect those that post TR's and not act like mother hen giving further unsolicited advice.  After all, most of what is reported has already happened anyway.

If someone gets on a plane they are big boys and girls.  Even what we believe may be a mistake, can certainly work out well for them, even if it turns out to be a learning experience.

p.s. I'll be asking mods to delete our exchange in short order, as it should not be posted here anyway.  If you want, we can continue in another thread and I'll move the messages there instead.

I agree.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online Gator

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Re: The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2020, 12:16:15 PM »
When watching my kids play sports, I endeavored to cheer at a ratio of 10::1 versus telling them what to do.  In other words, let then have fun. 

I was never a sports star, so when it came to my kids playing sports, I thought it better that my sons learn on their own, thinking maybe they could discover something I never found.   They always wanted to go back to practice and play the next game.   


If a writer of T/R does something that seems odd, it is okay to make a BRIEF comment, but only after complimenting those many things he did right such as getting on a plane.    For sure do not argue if the writer chooses to ignore the comment.   

There are multiple ways to skin the cat.  I am probably guilty in the past of commenting too much about how another man is meeting RW.  If so, I was wrong. 

Offline BC

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Re: The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2020, 12:22:55 PM »
I am probably guilty in the past of commenting too much about how another man is meeting RW.  If so, I was wrong.

That hat very likely fits my head as well.

Offline BC

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Re: The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #10 on: December 07, 2020, 12:44:32 PM »
I can hope..

Online 2tallbill

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #11 on: December 07, 2020, 12:57:34 PM »
I can hope..

Me too! He has a wealth of experience and knowledge.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #12 on: December 07, 2020, 05:24:59 PM »
BC,

So, to be clear that's your opinion?

If Japats chose to post in the no comment section, I understand.

If he posts where we can comment and his advice is awful..given my greater experience.. It is my opinion that those seriously at variance with my experience...and likely to ruin the chances of others should be set out.



Moby, Japtats came here to share and to learn.  It seems your warm and helpful personality has run off another potential member keen about traveling to the FSU and discovering the RW mystique. 

As a teacher how well did you do in reaching Japtats?    Don't dare say, "Japtats refused to listen."  As someone who claims to have superior experience, your duty is to recognize enthusiasm and self-assurance and somehow make a connection.  You are not very good at that, are you! 

Offline japtats

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Re: The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #13 on: December 08, 2020, 03:54:48 AM »
I didn't like Gator many years back, but recently i asked him questions, because i respect what he has done in life. In a way his professional, and even married life currently, is something i would be happy to have at his age. Same with BillyB, i didn't like him years back, but i respect how he is as a strong person. ML i know a bit about, respect what he has done, and the way he thinks is very clear cut, i can see why he is in the position he is in.

I asked members questions, but i am careful who i listen and ask questions to. Does not matter if i like or dislike them, i first see whether i want to be what they are. I do respect what others have done with their lives, which is a hard thing to accomplish. Maybe years back i would mock people for being old, i don't think i mock people for being old now, but i do mock them if they are old, and unaccomplished in life.

I did state that being Old and accomplished is a great thing, sitting back and looking back at the life you lived, and being able to tell interesting stories of your accomplishments, is something i would definitely want. But not everyone has done that in life, age without doing anything noteworthy, isn't a person i exactly want to follow.

Offline ML

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Re: The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2020, 05:30:39 PM »
I am blushing !!
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online 2tallbill

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The Purpose of Trip Reports
« Reply #15 on: December 08, 2020, 06:38:00 PM »
He ain't some 50-60 yo

I have a ton of experience in all sorts of stuff. I have four generations
of kids that I raised or helped raise.

My first wife was 5 years older than me and she had a child from
a previous marriage. I raised him and his best friend who we
adopted. They are in their 40's now.

Then I made a child with my first wife who just turned 30. He
lived with me even after and through our divorce.

Then there is Smiley Girl who only lived with me for a short time
before moving back to Russia to go to College and got married.

Then there is Mini Me who is 5 years old.
NOW to my point

I witnessed each group of children (EXCEPT for Mini Me) romantically
interact with the opposite sex and dating. Every one of them did things
differently than you or I did. The 40 year old group of boys would listen
to my advice on nearly everything even occasionally advice about picking
a good girl.

NONE of the others would.

I have a great deal of experience in adjusting the Rochester Quadrajet in
my first car a 1968 GTO to run smoothly. That skill has almost zero
practical benefit or use today.

I used different methods to meet women than kids today do. I could argue
that analog dating ALWAYS works, but kids today would say "So what?" 
I try to give younger men generic advice on this forum that would apply
to most situations. If they aren't interested, I say Udachi and move on.

« Last Edit: December 08, 2020, 06:42:06 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

 

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