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Author Topic: Serious talk-too good to be true?  (Read 1403 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #25 on: February 22, 2021, 02:59:34 PM »

+1 
A detail that almost all western ignore, they ran into a nice photo and realize in the end that the woman finally cannot leave or the father will ransom him in a way or another. Not all men are like this, but you can find many problems If she has a child and the father doesn't want to let it go easy.

I guess where potential scams can come in as well. The father asks for a hefty sum, it's paid by the guy and then the lady decides not to go for some reason leaving the guy high and dry. So the guy never really knows until after having paid if he is going to be taken for a ride or if the girl is legit. Getting to know the girl well with lots of time spent with her no doubt helps but I guess no one really knows for sure.

Other matter as you suggest Pat is if the father doesn't want to let go easy. It must be remembered that odds are to the father it would mean not seeing his child again in person, moreso if all the way over in the US. Because the lady is willing doesn't mean the father would be as let's face it any guy that felt anything for their children, I feel I would if I had any, wouldn't allow themselves to be bought off by some other dude and potentially wave bye, bye to their child forever. Of course some guys are lowlifes who wouldn't think twice.

Not trying to burst CG's bubble here but with a 10 model looks girl in the mix I think it will be a lucky one if it ends up a walk in the park.
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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #26 on: February 22, 2021, 04:13:46 PM »
Do you think women who sleep with deadbeats are marriage material?

Lol , women are looking for emotions, me , my gf , tattoo master joke about this. They are looking for a man who promises them their heart , does a handstand telling they are beautiful, but when it comes down to doing what real men do , which is stick to their word . They are gone .

My current gf , and many women I been with want a family with me , because they quickly realise I don't mess about. I don't talk about emotions (actually my gf mocks me for this and others), but instead get on with shit. I am in the gym , working on my business and leave the kids to talk about how big their heart is. Reminds me of the girl I dumped a few months back , and another , crying their eyes out telling me how deep their emotions were for me , but they were just young and little work ethic .

My current gf  cares for me , now works full time in my business, quit her job to join my business , goes to the gym , take care of everything.

Ukraine and Russia for me is the land of the talk. Talk about emotions , about what you are going to do. When it comes down to it , nobody is to be seen . Few actual men here , and a few women with work ethic.

Deadbeat women and men are hard to see , they talk a lot and the gullible bite , and scared to let go . I cut the heads off anyone who fails to deliver on what they see. not everyone can walk away from a situation
« Last Edit: February 22, 2021, 04:17:54 PM by japtats »

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #27 on: February 22, 2021, 04:39:44 PM »
. The father asks for a hefty sum, it's paid by the guy and then the lady decides not to go for some reason leaving the guy high and dry. So the guy never really knows until after having paid if he is going to be taken for a ride or if the girl is legit.

Rarely will a woman do this , she won't have sex multiple times with a man , just to maybe for him to propose to her ,.then she plays that scam , and get a bit of money.

She might as well be an escort and more guaranteed money . The only scam many women do (majority) , marry a western man , go to the west , spend a few years there , get an income and feet on the ground and upgrade.

That is the common story , you hear about guys often saying they married a good woman , what they mean (and don't disclose) , is they have a good prenup . Find a good prenup lawyer, before finding a good wife . Save you in the long run , like many men on here and who done the marry fsuw women found out

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Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #28 on: February 22, 2021, 04:44:54 PM »
Do you think women who sleep with deadbeats are marriage material?

Women get married early in the FSU, far too early in many cases.

This is an excellent subject that should have it's own standalone thread.
Something like

Women with children and all that goes with it.
It's going to get buried here

I will ask to see if a mod agrees

« Last Edit: February 22, 2021, 04:46:47 PM by 2tallbill »
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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #29 on: February 22, 2021, 06:00:58 PM »
Women get married early in the FSU, far too early in many cases.

This is an excellent subject that should have it's own standalone thread.
Something like

Women with children and all that goes with it.
It's going to get buried here

I will ask to see if a mod agrees


Careful, Bill......a thread like that may divert blood flow from the little head to the larger one. ;D


I found a thread here with more discussion on topic.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=2966.0
« Last Edit: February 22, 2021, 06:31:50 PM by Grumpy »
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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #30 on: February 22, 2021, 09:47:28 PM »



Will the father release the child, religion, politics, and many more hot topic issues need to be discussed before marrying.
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #31 on: February 23, 2021, 11:41:21 AM »
If she is willing to separate her child thousands of miles from it's father, why do you think she would not do the same to you and your child? You might want to think long and hard before starting a family with such a person. :popcorn:


That depends on whether or not the father is involved with the child.  Many Ukrainian men will happily remain in their child's life, but many do not.  Those that don't typically are addicted to something - alcohol, drugs, women. 
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #32 on: February 23, 2021, 11:42:36 AM »
Lol , women are looking for emotions, me , my gf , tattoo master joke about this. They are looking for a man who promises them their heart , does a handstand telling they are beautiful, but when it comes down to doing what real men do , which is stick to their word . They are gone .

My current gf , and many women I been with want a family with me , because they quickly realise I don't mess about. I don't talk about emotions (actually my gf mocks me for this and others), but instead get on with shit. I am in the gym , working on my business and leave the kids to talk about how big their heart is. Reminds me of the girl I dumped a few months back , and another , crying their eyes out telling me how deep their emotions were for me , but they were just young and little work ethic .

My current gf  cares for me , now works full time in my business, quit her job to join my business , goes to the gym , take care of everything.

Ukraine and Russia for me is the land of the talk. Talk about emotions , about what you are going to do. When it comes down to it , nobody is to be seen . Few actual men here , and a few women with work ethic.

Deadbeat women and men are hard to see , they talk a lot and the gullible bite , and scared to let go . I cut the heads off anyone who fails to deliver on what they see. not everyone can walk away from a situation


Not all women are looking for emotions.  Women, like men, want different things in a mate.  You can't make such sweeping statements as a "truth", because it's not a universal truth.
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #33 on: February 23, 2021, 11:54:38 AM »
This forum has acquainted me with some of the realties and nuances of this situation with Ukrainian/Russian ex husbands and their parental rights.

I was reading a thread in here or perhaps the other forum about an extremely stern Ukrainian woman making sure her baby's father sign a document and allowed his child to go to UK.

Those types of stories and experience help prepare folks like me quite a bit.

I suppose if the guy is going to be a hard ass and an ass and see this situation as an opportunity to receive some sort of fee - I'll probably bite up to a certain amount just to get it over. Probably another good topic for discussion: how much would you be willing to pay to smooth things over to get mom and kids to your country. I certainly can empathize with a man separating with their child no matter what the circumstances were in the past - you have to be a real ass not to have some sort of somber feeling about that.

I hope that the guy being a father and relatively decent human being will look at this as a good opportunity for their child to be with someone who will care and love her and all the opportunities that will be afforded her by a man who can financially provide for the child as well as a country that will present better options for  better life. But if you life is in shambles and you have a chance to get a few thousand dollars - I kinda of understand.

Most women that I've spoken to actually say the father is not in the picture, has never cared for their children - but that doesn't mean they won't take advantage of the situation.

But the woman and I have discussed it and she says she's confident she can convince him to allow her daughter to leave the country.

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #34 on: February 23, 2021, 11:59:49 AM »
So the father is involved in the child's life?  If so, I have to agree with Grumpy that separating the child from her father is wrong. 

Quote
I hope that the guy being a father and relatively decent human being will look at this as a good opportunity for their child to be with someone who will care and love her and all the opportunities that will be afforded her by a man who can financially provide for the child as well as a country that will present better options for  better life. But if you life is in shambles and you have a chance to get a few thousand dollars - I kinda of understand.

You can't know if the child's life will be better in the U.S.  You can't even know if there is better opportunity for her in the U.S.  If the father is involved and agrees to let her go, the least you can do is promise him, and KEEP the promise, that you will send his child back to visit him for at least a month every year. 
« Last Edit: February 23, 2021, 12:43:46 PM by Boethius »
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #35 on: February 23, 2021, 12:26:19 PM »
Go over first chance you get, meet her, date her and see where it goes.  If the father balks about letting the child leave, no problem just stay and start a new life together.

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #36 on: February 23, 2021, 03:28:08 PM »
I suppose if the guy is going to be a hard ass and an ass and see this
situation as an opportunity to receive some sort of fee - I'll probably
bite up to a certain amount just to get it over. Probably another good topic for discussion: how much would you be willing to pay to smooth things over to get mom and kids to your country. I certainly can empathize with a man separating with their child no matter what the circumstances were in the past - you have to be a real ass not to have some sort of somber feeling about that.

I hope that the guy being a father and relatively decent human being will look at this as a good opportunity for their child to be with someone who will care and love her and all the opportunities that will be afforded her by a man who can financially provide for the child as well as a country that will present better options for  better life. But if you life is in shambles and you have a chance to get a few thousand dollars - I kinda of understand.

Most women that I've spoken to actually say the father is not in the picture, has never cared for their children - but that doesn't mean they won't take advantage of the situation.

But the woman and I have discussed it and she says she's confident she can convince him to allow her daughter to leave the country.

I would wait to see if you and the girl have chemistry face to face
then there are strategies that you can start talking about.

I want to make one important point that is important when dealing
with people from the FSU. Don't offer your checkbook as the first
solution to a problem.


Your woman was married to the guy and knows him better than you
do. If the guy hasn't been paying child support then that can be an
issue for him with a thousand twists and turns. A notice for 6 years
of back child support might make him more agreeable to signing
(or not). Your girl would know better   

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #37 on: February 23, 2021, 03:44:13 PM »
I would wait to see if you and the girl have chemistry face to face then there are strategies that you can start talking about.

I want to make one important point that is important when dealing with people from the FSU. Don't offer your checkbook as the first
solution to a problem.

I agree with this.

Quote
If the guy hasn't been paying child support then that can be an issue for him with a thousand twists and turns. A notice for 6 years of back child support might make him more agreeable to signing (or not).


He's not in Kansas anymore . . . A failure to pay child support has zero consequences in Ukraine, and certainly won't factor into any court case to remove a child from the country without consent.
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #38 on: February 23, 2021, 05:00:21 PM »
I remember talking to my ex fiance , took me two weeks to warm up to the idea of dating . Even then , we spoke on video daily for hours , deleted our dating apps , and non stop messaging. Took me a few months to get myself financially ready to make the trip.

Reading this , seems like something I experienced back then. It seems daft to think of all of these things , but when you think you found the one , you end up doing stupid stuff.

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #39 on: February 23, 2021, 10:59:22 PM »
Absolutely right - can't guarantee a better life but with all the information so far...mostly likely :)

She sounds like she'll be able to convince him so I trust her judgement. And he hasn't been paying child support.

I agree, as an moral person, allow the opportunity for the father to keep in touch with the child.


So the father is involved in the child's life?  If so, I have to agree with Grumpy that separating the child from her father is wrong. 

You can't know if the child's life will be better in the U.S.  You can't even know if there is better opportunity for her in the U.S.  If the father is involved and agrees to let her go, the least you can do is promise him, and KEEP the promise, that you will send his child back to visit him for at least a month every year. 

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #40 on: February 24, 2021, 01:21:24 AM »
If she is willing to separate her child thousands of miles from it's father, why do you think she would not do the same to you and your child? You might want to think long and hard before starting a family with such a person. :popcorn:
That’s a rather sweeping statement to make without knowing the background to the womans relationship fail.

Very few people would ever remarry if such motives were attributed constantly.

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #41 on: February 24, 2021, 01:25:22 AM »
Absolutely right - can't guarantee a better life but with all the information so far...mostly likely :)

She sounds like she'll be able to convince him so I trust her judgement. And he hasn't been paying child support.

I agree, as an moral person, allow the opportunity for the father to keep in touch with the child.
Far better to have a willing participant in all parental decisions. Have you considered meeting the father when the time is right?

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #42 on: February 24, 2021, 02:45:25 AM »
Interesting that this comes to the table even before having met the woman. You might want to check where you put the horse.To me the answer is simple. It is her problem, and she has to deal with it, not you. By staying out of it you avoid being the wallet on legs as you have little else to offer to the ex. You can meet him if she asks, perhaps you will get along. But any decision over the future of the child is hers until you are married.
If she ells you that she needs to pay, you can consider to support her, but do not start offering anything by yourself. Remember all money you spend on this is to be considered to be lost in case of a breakup.
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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #43 on: February 24, 2021, 03:02:05 AM »
I think its prudent to look at the trajectory of this journey and consider all of these issues before hand.  This is the internet age and internet dating has been happening for nearly 30 years. We wouldn't be the first to proclaim our love before ever meeting - I'm sure millions have done that and many of those have gone on to have successful relationships. But I'm old school and those three words would probably not happen till we meet and breath the same air and probably share other things.

I would probably like to take the guy out for a beer and make sure he knows who will be raising his daughter. I would like that same courtesy if it were me letting go of my child to another man or something similar to that. But...I'd probably never ever give up my child like that but that's just me.


Interesting that this comes to the table even before having met the woman. You might want to check where you put the horse.To me the answer is simple. It is her problem, and she has to deal with it, not you. By staying out of it you avoid being the wallet on legs as you have little else to offer to the ex. You can meet him if she asks, perhaps you will get along. But any decision over the future of the child is hers until you are married.
If she ells you that she needs to pay, you can consider to support her, but do not start offering anything by yourself. Remember all money you spend on this is to be considered to be lost in case of a breakup.

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #44 on: February 24, 2021, 03:35:26 AM »
I think its prudent to look at the trajectory of this journey and consider all of these issues before hand.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong in considering different options to figure out what would work for you.

Quote
This is the internet age and internet dating has been happening for nearly 30 years. We wouldn't be the first to proclaim our love before ever meeting - I'm sure millions have done that and many of those have gone on to have successful relationships. But I'm old school and those three words would probably not happen till we meet and breath the same air and probably share other things.
Until you meet in person you are just pen pals. Don’t go claiming undying love until you’ve met and gotten to know her over a period of time.

Quote
I would probably like to take the guy out for a beer and make sure he knows who will be raising his daughter. I would like that same courtesy if it were me letting go of my child to another man or something similar to that. But...I'd probably never ever give up my child like that but that's just me.

You might never have a choice in the matter.
Say you divorce and your ex gets custody. She then meets someone and moves in with him, maybe in another city. The new guy will be living in the same household and playing happy families with your child.


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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #45 on: February 24, 2021, 03:45:43 AM »
I remember talking to my ex fiance , took me two weeks to warm up to the idea of dating . Even then , we spoke on video daily for hours , deleted our dating apps , and non stop messaging. Took me a few months to get myself financially ready to make the trip.

Reading this , seems like something I experienced back then. It seems daft to think of all of these things , but when you think you found the one , you end up doing stupid stuff.
:ROFL: :thumbsup:
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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #46 on: February 24, 2021, 08:52:47 AM »
I think its prudent to look at the trajectory of this journey and consider all of these issues before hand.  This is the internet age and internet dating has been happening for nearly 30 years. We wouldn't be the first to proclaim our love before ever meeting - I'm sure millions have done that and many of those have gone on to have successful relationships. But I'm old school and those three words would probably not happen till we meet and breath the same air and probably share other things.

I would probably like to take the guy out for a beer and make sure he knows who will be raising his daughter. I would like that same courtesy if it were me letting go of my child to another man or something similar to that. But...I'd probably never ever give up my child like that but that's just me.
It is prudent to understand the possible pitfalls. But it is not prudent to decide by your wallet before having a responsibility. As for declaring love before meeting, I know how chemistry in real life can be different from that online.If the father is in her life, good idea to at least meet, but the initiative is not with the alien date, it is  with the mother of the child.
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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #47 on: February 24, 2021, 01:30:47 PM »
I agree with this.


He's not in Kansas anymore . . . A failure to pay child support has zero consequences in Ukraine, and certainly won't factor into any court case to remove a child from the country without consent.

I don't have any experience with the Ukrainian court system, I had heard
and read that they've improved recently but you probably know better than
I do.

I have a tiny bit with the Russian court system with Smiley Girl. I don't want
to share what happened with the peanut gallery. At the end of the day Smiley
Girls Dad signed off no money changed hands between us. Smiley Girls Dad
did begin paying a few Kopecks in child support (directly to Smiley Girl's bank
account) from that day forward.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #48 on: February 24, 2021, 01:52:55 PM »
It is prudent to understand the possible pitfalls. But it is not prudent to decide by your wallet before having a responsibility. As for declaring love before meeting, I know how chemistry in real life can be different from that online.If the father is in her life, good idea to at least meet, but the initiative is not with the alien date, it is  with the mother of the child.
 
+1
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Re: Serious talk-too good to be true?
« Reply #49 on: February 25, 2021, 09:09:17 AM »
One gal told me this story.

She had a good paying job and didn't need child support for her 13 year old son when she divorced.

So did not ask for and signed something saying she did not want any child support.

Her reason was that in Ukraine there was a law or rule that children must support their parents later in life if needed . . . if said parent had supported the child.

I know nothing about the validity of her claim . . . and didn't raise the issue with her that father had supported the child up to age 13.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

 

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