An example of an online messaging conversation with a Ukrainian girl

[Trenchcoat]

Ok, I've said stuff about my online interactions with Ukrainian girls. Here is the actual messaging with one such Ukrainian lady. I don't take this as all Ukrainian ladies but it is one example I thought I would share as it could be of interest. The girl in question I am pretty sure is a 8-10 model looking girl around 30 ish that I had messaged on Fdate. I've edited out her name & location to make it anonymous. She's from a provincial Ukrainian city, not one of the obvious ones (Nikoleav, Kherson, Lviv, Odessa, Kharkiv, etc) but one of the not as often frequented ones by WM but not right out in the sticks either. Here we are:


ME: Hello ***** *FLOWER* Are you interested in having children in the near future?

HER: Hey! An unusual question 😅🤣 But my answer is yes!) I want a family and children this is my main desire in life.

ME: Good Saves time if knowing both want the same thing. I know in Ukraine having family can mean without children too. I think when women are around 30s they are often more serious and prepared for children. How is life in (Her Place) at the moment?

HER: You have the wrong facts))) In Ukraine, 90% of families always have children 😇😇
And of course women are ready for children earlier than men
And I'm glad to know that your adolescence is over)))))))
joke 🤣
We always have an interesting life in Ukraine .. unfortunately) or a crisis, or a war, or a showdown at the government 😅 but in general everything is fine I still love my house
my hometown (Her Place))
I live here with my mom)

ME: Lol, yep my adolescence is over, just! Some interesting facts I did not know about Ukraine. (Her Place), I have heard of it but never been there, known for its Cossack history I believe, so does that make you a little Cossack girl?

HER: like that))) I wonder what you've heard about my throat))) it's unusual that you think about him 😊

ME: Not sure that your last message makes sense *****, think about him? Your throat?

HER: Sorry)))
my city 🤣🤣🤣
translation difficulties ... I wrote through a translator)))

ME: Ah, I see, I use either Google Translate or Yandex, the translation can vary between them a little. You're very beautiful ***** 😜 how come you are still single?

HER: because I want to get married once and for life )
and I started thinking about it just now
I think now I'm ready to start a family
And you?

ME: Me too! Great I can be right around and we can start straight away Seriously though I think both need to be sexually attracted to each other to get on best together and that can only be established on meeting. People have no doubt based good marriage on other grounds but I don't think it makes for the best marriage. So would you like to live abroad with a foreign man ***** or where you are?
 
HER: I would like to find a good and beloved person, but where to live is not important )
if i had to move i would do it.

ME: Indeed I think to love a person is to care about that person but to care about a person you have to really know that person. Getting to know a person takes time so love I don't think is an instant situation it comes over time. Sexual attraction I think is different and can help people get on best in an instant. I like Ukraine but unfortunately my Russian language ability is not good, just a few basic phrases, how is your spoken English? I think though that issues on where to live can be overcome. Would your Mother or any other members of your family mind you moving away?

HER: I agree with you. Sometimes you can know a person for several years and still learn more and more new sides of his nature.
My English is not perfect, but rather spoken. But I try 😇
My mom won't mind my move. Her only desire is my happiness We have a very good relationship

ME: Ah, good to hear your spoken English is good I've been wanting to put more time into learning Russian but never really find enough time, it can be hard learning a new language 😬. I'm glad your Mother is ok with you moving abroad if you wanted too, it is good you get along. So how are things for work where you are? Do you get much free time to do stuff?

HER: I worked as a department head in a large clothing store, but I got fired because of the coronavirus. But I decided not to get upset))) Now I rest and enjoy my life!
And what about you?)

ME: I understand a lot of people have lost work because of the virus and you do well not to be upset over it. Well I have been fortunate I work as a (INSERT EVERYDAY JOB) So all the way through the Pandemic my work has been unaffected and carried on as usual. It is an interesting job and I enjoy it Do you do Viber *****? Thinking it could be more convenient for us to communicate that way, would love to get to know you better *FLOWER*

(After daily response back & forth with some days two messages a day to/from no response & no further logging on but you get the message through email to read anyway so she would have read it there)

ME: (A couple of days later) Hey *****, are you ok?

(No response since, over a week since last message now)



Now it doesn't bother me that this one didn't work out and I know it can be more about a numbers game and other issues. I just wanted to give forum members & readers an idea of how messaging can go. In this instance we were getting about quite well I think with daily messaged back & forth. Sure there can be more intense conversation and interest but she seemed reasonably interested it is fair to say, that is until I mentioned my job (despite her no longer having one). So I think this shows where this girl's interest lies. I don't blame her for wanting a guy with money it's her choice but I think it's only fair that WM know that there are girls like this in Ukraine. Like I say she is a pretty girl, I would say about an 8 ish so towards model looks but probably not quite at the very top but near enough I would say. So I don't blame her for wanting something in return but at the same time she is getting towards the past her prime looks moment in life most likely and quick to judge. So there we have it a case of what going for a real pretty girl may yield, hopefully readers will find this interesting.

[ML]

Rather than your job, it might have been Viber that cut her off.  That's when Yuri couldn't pull it off.

I don't buy that her messages were composed via an electronic translator.

The English was much too good for an electronic translator.

[Patagonie]

Trench, you have written more than 6000 messages, but you still cannot recognize a scammer.

[Patagonie]

That's good that you have asked to talk on Whatsapp.

[2tallbill]

Do you do Viber *****? Thinking it could be more convenient for us to communicate that way, would love to get to know you better *FLOWER*

(No response since, over a week since last message now)

that is until I mentioned my job

She wasn't real or serious or both. She took off when you mentioned viber
not because you talked about your job.

She could be using photos from a decade ago, or she was trying something.
A real girl who is interested in you will go to viber or Skype. She was a fatty
or a dude or some one with dubious intentions.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench, you have written more than 6000 messages, but you still cannot recognize a scammer.

Unlikely that she was a scammer she didn't attempt a scam during our conversation and I don't think she would have done. Possibly if we got to meet she might want me to buy her stuff if she decided I wasn't the man for her. My reading of the girl was that she was after a rich dude to live in the lap of comfort, enjoy life and not have to work.

[Trenchcoat]

Rather than your job, it might have been Viber that cut her off.  That's when Yuri couldn't pull it off.

I don't buy that her messages were composed via an electronic translator.

The English was much too good for an electronic translator.

Electronic translators can be pretty good these days but can still occasionally mess up as she did at one point. I can't do writing in Russian so use an online translator to interpret and if I'm lazy I don't check it back so I think it's feasible.

It could have been Viber but unlikely I think, most guys ask for that these days at some point, she could have said no to Viber and made an excuse or go straight into a scam ask for XXX amount of money for medication for her sick Aunt etc. She also has not been on Fdate for over a week now so if it was a scammer they would tend to keep at it or take down the profile and do another one.

[Trenchcoat]

She wasn't real or serious or both. She took off when you mentioned viber
not because you talked about your job.

She could be using photos from a decade ago, or she was trying something.
A real girl who is interested in you will go to viber or Skype. She was a fatty
or a dude or some one with dubious intentions.

Possible that she was not real, again could have made an excuse not to do Viber. Depends on purpose for a fake profile, not to scam I think in this case. My guess from the info she gave is that she is Ukrainian and probably female, so a girl doing it for info? Curiosity? Possible.

I still think it is odds on that it was the job. I shouldn't have mentioned Viber in the same message and that would have made it clearer. Even so if it was a scammer maybe an everyday job put them off as only want to scam rich dudes. I'm doubting they are that picky and she hasn't been on there for over a week so I doubt very much a scammer.

Again most guys use Viber, WhatsApp now and there is no reason messaging can't just continue on that without video calls or even phone calls the end user can just decline. So I'm pretty sure it was the everyday job and she as a pretty girl wanted a rich dude.

[BillyB]

I don't blame her for wanting a guy with money it's her choice but I think it's only fair that WM know that there are girls like this in Ukraine.

How did you conclude that about her? She never talked about money or ask what you own. She never asked about money. I doubt she was a scammer because her messages were personal to you, not canned prewritten messages she sends to all men. She simply disappeared because she had better options or was turned off by your talk. I feel you talked about sexual attraction and a meeting too early. Get a woman's viber/phone number and build a friendship first before talking meeting and sexual compatibility.

[2tallbill]

Unlikely that she was a scammer she didn't attempt a scam during our conversation and I don't think she would have done. Possibly if we got to meet she might want me to buy her stuff if she decided I wasn't the man for her. My reading of the girl was that she was after a rich dude to live in the lap of comfort, enjoy life and not have to work.

If that was your reading then why didn't you dump her earlier?

Her first problem is that she didn't want to do viber or skype.

[Trenchcoat]

How did you conclude that about her? She never talked about money or ask what you own. She never asked about money. I doubt she was a scammer because her messages were personal to you, not canned prewritten messages she sends to all men. She simply disappeared because she had better options or was turned off by your talk. I feel you talked about sexual attraction and a meeting too early. Get a woman's viber/phone number and build a friendship first before talking meeting and sexual compatibility.

Indeed, you can read a situation well Billy, as the conversation went on she came across as authentic enough and no red flags at all. I think I should have left the 'sexual' out of 'sexual attraction' and just left it as 'attraction' as she might have read just 'he wants sex' into it. That is not what I intended as my thoughts were more on the attraction side of sexual attraction. I did however include stuff about caring for each other as important and this I truly believe I don't just put it to sound good. However, I had moved the conversation in from that a little so I don't think it was that so much but it might have been not best put and marred it a little potentially. She said she wanted a, "good and beloved person" which to me sounds almost generic, I don't think she is that bothered about the person so long as he brings in the money and doesn't treat her bad.

I never talked of meeting directly as I knew it was too early for that and jumping the gun. Also the restrictions on travel at the time meant I couldn't really honour such talk either necessarily. The Viber/WhatsApp/Skype I should have gone in a bit earlier that is true. The first message can be a bit quick but probably the second or third is best. O know some girls don't like to give over their phone numbers or App details too soon to guys that want it straight off as complete strangers.

It's true I could be reading too much into it and some of my analysis of the situation is subjective. But I never challenged her in the money issue and of course wouldn't do that as it can create what you want to see. I just tend to find it strange that she cut it off when I mentioned my job rather than at any other point in the conversation. The conversation seemed to be going quite well up to that point I think even if it was not quite point perfect score. She seemed to be enjoying it with all the emojis so I don't think the conversation was that bad or a lack of interest from the get go. Generally you can tell the girls that lack interest from the get go as the effort is all one sided.

[John Gaunt]

Indeed, you can read a situation well Billy, as the conversation went on she came across as authentic enough and no red flags at all. I think I should have left the 'sexual' out of 'sexual attraction' and just left it as 'attraction' as she might have read just 'he wants sex' into it. That is not what I intended as my thoughts were more on the attraction side of sexual attraction. I did however include stuff about caring for each other as important and this I truly believe I don't just put it to sound good. However, I had moved the conversation in from that a little so I don't think it was that so much but it might have been not best put and marred it a little potentially. She said she wanted a, "good and beloved person" which to me sounds almost generic, I don't think she is that bothered about the person so long as he brings in the money and doesn't treat her bad.

I never talked of meeting directly as I knew it was too early for that and jumping the gun. Also the restrictions on travel at the time meant I couldn't really honour such talk either necessarily. The Viber/WhatsApp/Skype I should have gone in a bit earlier that is true. The first message can be a bit quick but probably the second or third is best. O know some girls don't like to give over their phone numbers or App details too soon to guys that want it straight off as complete strangers.

It's true I could be reading too much into it and some of my analysis of the situation is subjective. But I never challenged her in the money issue and of course wouldn't do that as it can create what you want to see. I just tend to find it strange that she cut it off when I mentioned my job rather than at any other point in the conversation. The conversation seemed to be going quite well up to that point I think even if it was not quite point perfect score. She seemed to be enjoying it with all the emojis so I don't think the conversation was that bad or a lack of interest from the get go. Generally you can tell the girls that lack interest from the get go as the effort is all one sided.

Your obsession with money condemns every woman you engage with. I understand why you are this way, it’s because you haven’t any way and that, Trench, unfortunately, means that this venture is not for you and you should settle for Debbie from Dartford.

[Trenchcoat]

Your obsession with money condemns every woman you engage with. I understand why you are this way, it’s because you haven’t any way and that, Trench, unfortunately, means that this venture is not for you and you should settle for Debbie from Dartford.

Where did I mention money in my conversation with her? I didn't. So the conversation didn't end because I brought it up.

[Trenchcoat]

If that was your reading then why didn't you dump her earlier?

Her first problem is that she didn't want to do viber or skype.

It was only my reading of her at the end. I wondered beforehand but chose not to show it in conversation. She's a pretty girl and most pretty girls want a rich dude as they know it is obtainable and that a rich dude comes with a rather comfortable life. Easier for a pretty girl to find a rich dude than trying to get rich herself through working for it, in most cases.

As said I should have asked the Viber, etc thing first then brought up about what we do in our day. My guess is that she joined and stays on the site knowing that most guys will ask for Viber etc these days so I doubt that was the issue, it would become a too common occurrence for her that it would be a nuisance and she would probably delete her profile.

[Boethius]

If a man asked me the questions you did, Trench, I'd go silent as well.  Since I am long term married, before internet communication was a "thing", I asked some twenty somethings here what they thought, and their reaction was like mine.   Who cares whether you think there may be attraction?  Do you believe a woman in her thirties is a complete idiot?  It also is all about you. 


I believe John's point was in response to the end of your post.  Whether you discussed money or not is irrelevant.  It was still in your head.

[Nightwish]

If a man asked me the questions you did, Trench, I'd go silent as well.  Since I am long term married, before internet communication was a "thing", I asked some twenty somethings here what they thought, and their reaction was like mine.   Who cares whether you think there may be attraction?  Do you believe a woman in her thirties is a complete idiot?  It also is all about you. 


I believe John's point was in response to the end of your post.  Whether you discussed money or not is irrelevant.  It was still in your head.

and as a man I could say I would ghost a woman who spoke that way to me in the same way, the convo make me cringe and to imagine that is supposed to be spoken by a man in his 40:s looking for a serious relationship.. *help*

after 5990 useless posts here (I at least give him the benefit to have written a couple that wasn't insane and ludicrous) and who's gotten a thousand good advices and he still can't have a decent convo on a datingsite with a woman   

I'll give you a quick tip there Trench, not that you'll listen but -  when speaking to a non-native/non-fluent person in English, first of all make sure you spell och format the sentences correctly, keep it simple, use simple words, use simple language and never ever ever bring up 'sexual attraction' until you at least have a ongoing conversation - you scream "I am a sex-tourist"

[John Gaunt]

Where did I mention money in my conversation with her? I didn't. So the conversation didn't end because I brought it up.

You didn’t mention money in your messages but it’s quite obvious in your thinking and ‘analysis’.

You look at every woman you encounter as having transactional motives, until you change your paranoid views you’re staying single.
How’s mums basement looking these days?

[John Gaunt]

and as a man I could say I would ghost a woman who spoke that way to me in the same way, the convo make me cringe and to imagine that is supposed to be spoken by a man in his 40:s looking for a serious relationship.. *help*

after 5990 useless posts here (I at least give him the benefit to have written a couple that wasn't insane and ludicrous) and who's gotten a thousand good advices and he still can't have a decent convo on a datingsite with a woman   

I'll give you a quick tip there Trench, not that you'll listen but -  when speaking to a non-native/non-fluent person in English, first of all make sure you spell och format the sentences correctly, keep it simple, use simple words, use simple language and never ever ever bring up 'sexual attraction' until you at least have a ongoing conversation - you scream "I am a sex-tourist"

I quite agree.

[Trenchcoat]

If a man asked me the questions you did, Trench, I'd go silent as well.  Since I am long term married, before internet communication was a "thing", I asked some twenty somethings here what they thought, and their reaction was like mine.   Who cares whether you think there may be attraction?  Do you believe a woman in her thirties is a complete idiot?  It also is all about you. 


I believe John's point was in response to the end of your post.  Whether you discussed money or not is irrelevant.  It was still in your head.

She wouldn't have known what is in my head Boe, she's not a mind reader.

If my questions put her off she would have gone silent long before she did. Besides most of my questions were pretty generic, 'can we do Viber?' most guys ask this many of the girls do also, 'what do you do in your day?' to know a person even vaguely you need to know what happens in their day. Ok now I batted off with asking her if she wants children, I knew that would be a little upfront but I also knew it could likely gain her interest and it did. Some FSW can be a little blunt themselves and in FSU culture talk off having children is not as taboo as in the west where career talk & travel talk have become the stayed topics with women and children talk with a stranger is seen as weird.

Whole point is to create interest in the conversation and not bore her to sleep with a load of mundane questions, she'll get that all the time. Women almost everywhere like a but of shocker in their communication (not too much though) it injects a but of excitement, better to do that than go with mundane questions. Women like a bit of drama and it shows here, if any guys have ever heard a woman yak on about what's going on in a soap or who said what that they know they will know about what I mean. I used to sit next to a girl in one of my A'level classes, she used to turn around and yak on to a couple of girls sat behind her - 'my boyfriend only did this!', 'then he went and did that!!!' etc, etc, they love it. Worst thing you can do with a girl is standard data style responses. I've sat in offices where the local young tart girl runs in and blabs onto her office lady friend about what happened at the weekend, who said and did what, believe me they love it when stuff is a bit ott it turns them on.

I'm pretty sure it was the everyday job that turned her off. I recall having mentioned my job a year or two back to a pretty girl in Kiev and the same thing happened, that girl I photo rated and she got a 9.4 after 20 votes, I actually thought she would be towards an 8 but didn't think she was that pretty. On that occasion I didn't mention viber or anything else at the same time so it was definitely my job. Readers should know that pretty girls in Ukraine want a rich guy that is why they put themselves forward for International Dating, otherwise they would just settle for some local guy, but they can't, they are all too poor and the very few rich guys they have out there have already been taken.

Anyway I asked the girl questions about herself and her life so no it was not all about me.

[Trenchcoat]

You didn’t mention money in your messages but it’s quite obvious in your thinking and ‘analysis’.

You look at every woman you encounter as having transactional motives, until you change your paranoid views you’re staying single.
How’s mums basement looking these days?

Again she would have been clueless as to any thought in my mind as to money, she is not a mind reader and I gave her no  suspicion in our conversation that I had any thought of that so your assertion is complete bollocks JG.

[Trenchcoat]

and as a man I could say I would ghost a woman who spoke that way to me in the same way, the convo make me cringe and to imagine that is supposed to be spoken by a man in his 40:s looking for a serious relationship.. *help*

after 5990 useless posts here (I at least give him the benefit to have written a couple that wasn't insane and ludicrous) and who's gotten a thousand good advices and he still can't have a decent convo on a datingsite with a woman   

I'll give you a quick tip there Trench, not that you'll listen but -  when speaking to a non-native/non-fluent person in English, first of all make sure you spell och format the sentences correctly, keep it simple, use simple words, use simple language and never ever ever bring up 'sexual attraction' until you at least have a ongoing conversation - you scream "I am a sex-tourist"

I know to keep sentences simple Nightwish, they are simple enough and with online translators she would have been fine enough. It wasn't the sentences or the translation that was the problem here, if it was it would have been coming up a lot more frequently than the once that it did come up. I've had messaging conversations with girls who refused to use an online translator even though their translation abilities of English was not all that great so know the ground I am on.

The 'sexual attraction' was a faux pas on my part I have admitted that. It is something that I believe so in all honesty I put it down but I should have been a bit more mindful of how it might not come over so well. That said many FSW aren't edgy about sex like western women and though if was not my finest hour I don't think it destroyed my chances here otherwise she would have dropped me there and then. No she was hanging on to gauge what prospects I had and on that front I should have avoided talk till much later I believe.

[John Gaunt]

Again she would have been clueless as to any thought in my mind as to money, she is not a mind reader and I gave her no  suspicion in our conversation that I had any thought of that so your assertion is complete bollocks JG.

Indeed, talk about being clueless.
Either you’re being completely obtuse or simply dodging the issue.
It’s not her we’re talking about thinking of money in your conversation. It’s the fact that money (or your lack of it) is a major factor in how you view women.

Trenchies understanding of women:

Pretty WW= only get with the fittest, hottest rich dude.
All other WW= Fatties from council estates.

Pretty FSUW= only look for rich dudes to look after her so she never has to work.
Average FSUW= will settle for any version of Trench who can get her a visa.

I’m not the only one who’s picked up on this so I’m quite confident my assertion is correct.

[Trenchcoat]

Anyway let's face it the reason why my assertion that it was my everyday job that did it in is so unpopular here is that it strikes to close to home to the truth here. Many guys here have FSW that they have got with and married but very few wish to admit that it is for their wealth, it's an uncomfortable and unpleasant thought for many men, I get it. They like to think it's down to their personality or whatever else. In truth they probably genuinely think they have gotten on good terms with the girl and in part that is probably true, but being on good terms means not a lot to a girl who wants to be with a wealthy guy whose money will look after her. Behind it all she still wants a wealthy guy and the wealthy guys with a FSW would be nothing without their wealth. Any that don't believe me on here try this, give your girl a large chunk of your wealth, say towards half, enough for her to live well on independently, see what the results are report back here and tell us how it went.

[John Gaunt]

Anyway let's face it the reason why my assertion that it was my everyday job that did it in is so unpopular here is that it strikes to close to home to the truth here. Many guys here have FSW that they have got with and married but very few wish to admit that it is for their wealth, it's an uncomfortable and unpleasant thought for many men, I get it. They like to think it's down to their personality or whatever else. In truth they probably genuinely think they have gotten on good terms with the girl and in part that is probably true, but being on good terms means not a lot to a girl who wants to be with a wealthy guy whose money will look after her. Behind it all she still wants a wealthy guy and the wealthy guys with a FSW would be nothing without their wealth. Any that don't believe me on here try this, give your girl a large chunk of your wealth, say towards half, enough for her to live well on independently, see what the results are report back here and tell us how it went.

Let’s start with what you define as someone’s ‘wealth’.

[John Gaunt]

Anyway let's face it the reason why my assertion that it was my everyday job that did it in is so unpopular here is that it strikes to close to home to the truth here. Many guys here have FSW that they have got with and married but very few wish to admit that it is for their wealth, it's an uncomfortable and unpleasant thought for many men, I get it. They like to think it's down to their personality or whatever else. In truth they probably genuinely think they have gotten on good terms with the girl and in part that is probably true, but being on good terms means not a lot to a girl who wants to be with a wealthy guy whose money will look after her. Behind it all she still wants a wealthy guy and the wealthy guys with a FSW would be nothing without their wealth. Any that don't believe me on here try this, give your girl a large chunk of your wealth, say towards half, enough for her to live well on independently, see what the results are report back here and tell us how it went.

You still can’t see what’s staring you in the face.
It’s not your job, status, looks, physiques etc etc that’s the problem.
It’s your attitude towards and perception of women that is.
If you can’t pull a nice woman in your own country then you shouldn’t even contemplate looking anywhere else.
The only reason you are is because you think your dangling the carrot of living in an economically advantaged country will somehow overcome your own faults and land you sexy Olga from Odessa  to parade on your arm.