Why is she texting back? Should I just forget about it?

[royBatty268]

Edit: I reflected on this during the night. I've decided to move on.

Hello everyone,

I’m new here and want to understand my situation with a Russian woman I’ve been seeing.

We (27F, 29M) live in the same city, and our relationship started with strong chemistry. For two months, we saw each other often and things were going well. Then came the Christmas holidays—I went home to Italy, and she suddenly became distant. When I returned, she seemed uninterested, and I assumed it was over. However, she wanted to talk, saying our lack of communication made her lose interest. Ironically, our "breakup talk" turned into a great date, and she suggested keeping in touch while she traveled for a month and a half.

Before she left, I made my feelings clear—texting, suggesting meetups, even bringing flowers and wine on her last night. She didn’t message me once during her trip, so I decided to move on.

Now, after all this time, she texts me saying she hopes I’m well and would be happy to be friends. My questions:

Why reach out now?

Is she testing if I’ll chase her, or does she have some real interest?

If she’s just playing games, I’ll walk away. But if this behavior suggests she wants to be pursued, I’d consider it. I feel a bit silly asking, but I’d love your thoughts. Thanks!

[krimster2]

bonjourno
this 'problem' isn't about HER or about "passive/aggressive" women
it's about YOU being desperately codependent on her ambivalnt feelings

I don't want to explain this term here, google is yur friend

a codependent will typically go above and beyond what most people will do to try and maintain a failing  relationship
you need to do a prefontal lobotomy on yurself and excise this diseased part of yur brain
because it's only going to hurt you

if a woman shuts the door...don't knock and plead for her to let you in
go knock on another door instead

if you want to date Russian women, you should FIRST learn something about Russian women
and you're not going to find that in Zurich
the FSU is a couple of hours flying time from you...
not difficult at all for you to go there and learn

but your generation prefers texting and not "boots on the ground"
so you are at the mercy of others who are MUCH better at playing THIS game than you are capable of
because you do not have enough knowledge of how to play

knowledge is the foundation upon which wisdom is built
no knowledge...no wisdom...a broken heart is all you're going to get from that

you have LOTS of time, to learn
and climb the ladder step by step

what kinda stuff you do in that Zurich?
what kinda Italiano are ya?
I'm gonna guess Milan, or some place up North?

me...
I'm a Texas Jew Boy and the meanest MFer on this board by far, and Russians helped make me this way
but I KNOW Russian/Ukrainian women in every sense of the word, even biblically
I prefer Russian women over ALL OTHERS
big strong white women, with a 'Natasha' accent. I freakin love them

Italiano?
I guess you're relieved the Pope is OK?
so they don't have to convene the college of cardinals and crows and sparrows
and light up the chimney to have a new Pope

after a lot of research, I discovered where Pope St. Clement I was buried after he was executed
it just so happened his tomb was less than a mile away from where I lived in Sevastopol
one dark and rainy night, I dug up his tomb  and I use the relics I uncovered in performing Kabbalistic rituals
like placing a curse on someone that can kill them
do not mock a prophet and ask for whom the bell tolls
cuz you're gonna find out

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clement_of_Rome

to be is to do
what are you doing to be...nothing...right?
that's your problem that you need to understand and fix

no problem can resist a perfectly conceived and executed plan
but you have no plan...
you just go to where the wind blows ya, instead of making a deliberate journey

[Patagonie]

Hello everyone,

I’m new to this forum, and the reason I’m writing this post is that I’d like to figure out the situation I’m experiencing with a Russian woman.

This woman (27F) and I (29M) live in the same city. It has been a short but intense story, full of details, so I’ll try to be brief but clear.

We met at a party through a mutual friend. The attraction/chemistry was very strong from the start, and for two months, we saw each other often, slept together several times, and things were going in a very good direction.

Then came the Christmas holidays, and we were apart for two weeks since I’m Italian and went back to my hometown to be with my family. Suddenly, I felt like she was pulling away and becoming distant. We barely talked on WhatsApp, and I started to feel uneasy. However, I didn’t say anything and kept the same attitude.

When I returned to Zurich, we met up a couple of times, but it wasn’t the same. She seemed cold or uninterested more than once, and I assumed it was over or that she was seeing someone else. However, she asked to meet up to talk. She told me that she had felt a lot of distance between us and little communication, which made her lose interest.

I like psychology, and maybe I overanalyze things sometimes, but I believe she acted as a mirror—interpreting my distance as a lack of interest and reflecting the same attitude. I told her that I experienced the same thing and that I would like us to give it another chance. Ironically, what was supposed to be a breakup talk turned into a fun date—we flirted, kissed, and there was still a strong connection between us.

However, she was about to go on a long trip for a month and a half. She suggested that we keep in touch while she was away and see what happens. For me, this was difficult—I had fallen for her, and uncertainty is tough for me. That’s why I told her that she could write to me if she wanted, but I would wait until she got back to see her in person.

During the week before she left, I made my intentions very clear—I texted her, suggested meeting several times, but she had other priorities. On her last night, I showed up at her place with flowers and a bottle of wine to say goodbye.

After making my intentions with her this clear, I felt that it was now up to her to take the next step. She didn’t send me a single message the whole time she was away, so I decided that the best thing for me was to move on.

This morning, she texted me saying she hoped I was doing well and that if I wanted, she’d be happy to be friends, catch up, and chat.

I’ll try to be very clear with my questions:

Why is she sending me this message after a month and a half? What was the need? Clearly, we can’t be friends after everything that happened. We were not friends before, just dated for a while, so, either she wants to get my attention and see if I’ll chase her, or she has some level of interest.

My situation is this: If she has no real interest and just wants to be friends (or play games), I’ll close the door—I’m lucky enough to have plenty of options. However, if this attitude resonates with Russian women in this forum—if this is the behavior of a woman who you think may want to be pursued or who needs more romance—then I’d be willing to do that.


As I was re-reading, I felt a bit ridiculous, because in a normal scenario I clearly know what my advice would be. But I would like nonetheless to know your opinion on the topic. Thanks a lot.

   
Welcome to the forum. 
Women are king or queen to reverse the shame on you, that a strategy they often use.
Attacking you is the best defense. You told her she was distant? You were distant!!! Your fault! 
So they do this to not feel guilty and report the culprit on you.   
They never want, as possible, to feel guilty. As a man you are born for this purpose.
     
The second travel, when she was away, just showed and confirmed your feelings, when she is away, you are totally out. And
that's very VERY painful when you already have a relationship and you really like a woman.
   
"she’d be happy to be friend" sounds very bad, very bad. It's a mixed signal. I explain, normally a Russian woman don't call you back if it's over, and on the other side no Russian woman talk to a man about friendship with a man when the situation is unclear (all depends how long she has stayed in the West) 
   
But before going forward I would like to know, when you were in Italy how many messages have you sent and how many messages have you received? And the same during the time she left 6 weeks. 
You didn't inform us about this.
     
You should know consider and assess if there is a second man, and seriously dig on this, because this is the first reason that could explain everything.

[krimster2]

moving on is the smart choice

we don't get many Gen Z europeans here...
tell us about yourself....
what's it like for Gen Z in Europa these days?
are you Swiss or Schweizer in Zurich?
are you in the Swiss National Guard?

[2tallbill]

If she’s just playing games, I’ll walk away. But if this behavior suggests she wants to be
pursued, I’d consider it. I feel a bit silly asking, but I’d love your thoughts. Thanks!

FSUW for the most part don't do vague. It looks like you've been mostly vague. If you've
already decided to move on then move on. With FSUW it's either sh!t or get off the pot.
Before you leaving a girl for an extended time, I always made a plan on what we are going
to do while I'm away, when I am going to return. It was never a possibility to invite them
to go with me. 

If you wanted this girl, then you tell her that "we aren't doing it like this anymore" that
you expect XY and Z and you will do X,Y and Z. She wants to know what is expected.

 
"We will be talking on Whatsapp at 8pm every day until I return" We will be having sex
3 times the day before I leave and again the day I return. Or you are coming with me
bring a bikini and some good walking shoes. We will be walking all over ____________
(place you are going).

Gen Z is vague in general, this is not the way to behave around FSUW. Be direct, she wants you to
tell her the plan and how she is part of the plan. Don't ask her to help develop or formulate the plan.

Udachi!

Bill

[olgac]

She just wants to keep You as a back up plan. It's not a test on whether or not You will chase her.
She just wants to keep all her options open and keep You "pro zapas"

[Patagonie]

FSUW for the most part don't do vague. It looks like you've been mostly vague. If you've
already decided to move on then move on. With FSUW it's either sh!t or get off the pot.
Before you leaving a girl for an extended time, I always made a plan on what we are going
to do while I'm away, when I am going to return. It was never a possibility to invite them
to go with me. 

If you wanted this girl, then you tell her that "we aren't doing it like this anymore" that
you expect XY and Z and you will do X,Y and Z. She wants to know what is expected.

 
"We will be talking on Whatsapp at 8pm every day until I return" We will be having sex
3 times the day before I leave and again the day I return. Or you are coming with me
bring a bikini and some good walking shoes. We will be walking all over ____________
(place you are going).

Gen Z is vague in general, this is not the way to behave around FSUW. Be direct, she wants you to
tell her the plan and how she is part of the plan. Don't ask her to help develop or formulate the plan.

Udachi!

Bill

   
Bill made nice comments, this why I was asking what was your communication when you were both at some distance.
If you bring flowers and you wait a FSU woman to call you every day while  you are waiting her to come back, let me tell you it's not gonna to work.   
You need to lead as Bill said.   
Maybe you haven't enough given some clear direction ON A DAILY BASIS. it's not enough to come to say I am serious I want to date you.   
And STICK to the plan. If you told her we could visit Vienna in June, that's a vague idea of travel in the Western culture but in the FSU culture, it means that it is SCHEDULED, you MADE a proposition, and because you have opened your mouth, YOU are in charge. So she will be disappointed in few weeks before June you don't come back on visiting Vienna your score will be severely depleted.   
In this case you said we could in June to Vienna, she will tell you if she likes or not this idea. Are you free from.... to... ?And then you move your ass, you buy the tickets, you book the hotel, you make a program of what to visit, show it to her.In some case you could involved her to choose between several hotels or Airbnb. But YOU move forward.
That's your duty.

[krimster2]

you really want to rule the world?

allow me to tell ya how
instead of you hunting one duck
what you do see....
is build a "duck blind" next to a field of freshly harvested corn
and ya just wait for dem ducks to come to you

(note: this is a metaphor)

you get all the ducks you want this way
capische?

you lucky....
you live next to some big corn fields
you just gotta figure out a way to go there
don't all you EU folks take August off?

if so, to me no reason for ya not to go to Belarus or Ukraine unless yur one of those "wusses"
I don't know about you....
but I LOVE the smell of Napalm in the morning....
smells like...victory...
cuz that bacon smell? it ain't bacon!!!!

a smart young white boy could do some amazing stuff in the FSU right now, if he had a genuis level IQ
so my question to you moy droog
is how smart do ya think ya are?

no matter WTF you live, the dumb guys ALWAYS stay home
capische?

2 hour flying time from Zurich to Lvov
http://www.travelmath.com/flying-time/from/Zurich,+Switzerland/to/Lviv,+Ukraine

you could go this weekend
and get a girlfriend soon as you walked into McDonald's...cuz all the women there are gonna know IMMEDIATELY you're one of them foreigners
and every single one of them will be checking you out
even BeeFarmer could get laid....

so seriously....
what's your freakin excuse

you have ANY IDEA how much I'd love to be your age in Ukraine for just the weekend
I'd have more super model pooty tang than you can even dream of in Zurich
hehe, what happens to ya, if you put your garbage out there incorrectly in Zurich, it's worse than Singapore there...
if I lived there, an anti-social type like me would make a freakin sport of tipping over garbage cans

Euro cops ain't nothin to somebody like me
they're more afraid of me...and with damned good reason to be
somebody like me could walk into a Chechen neighborhood without a care in the world
Allahu Akbar!

being a VERY high functioning paranoid schitzophrenic with Autism spectrum disorder
combined with years of "professional training"
means that I am a Golem with no soul
I will not go to HELL for my many sins
I will simply cease to exist and slip into the darkness
and one day, our sun will Nova and incinerate this entire planet

so keeping that in mind...
you gotta live while ya can

a corollary of "build it and they will come"
is "go there and you will come"

now GO!
and sin no more!!!

in the hills of Peru, I met "The Shining Path"
and now Mr Italiano
I give you the path

Zurich to Lvov round trip
get a hotel or apartment near the university
bring LOTS of condoms....
no listen to me...
whatever you THINK you need...triple that....
if youre'good looking, then bring the whole freakin BOX

[olgac]

I personally think that if the woman is really INTO You , You don't need to do everything perfectly she will not lose interest so fast unless You show You are not interested. This one is not really into You, she is keeping You on a backburner, but this is just my opinion.

[olgac]

even BeeFarmer could get laid....

LOL too funny

[krimster2]

what's funny is the contrast in reactions from Ukrainian women in their 20s
to foreign guys the OP's age compared to middle aged Geezers
not many young locals around
he is a very rare bird indeed

soon as the women catch sight of him, they'll get whiplash

it would be like at an all female Soviet Penal Colony Gulag with thousands of young female prisoners
and he's the new extremely handsome young camp doctor and the only male around for 20 KM
oy vey!!!

with his command of English
he couldd enroll in Ternopil State Medical School, whose classes are taught in English
and earn a medical degree, with a minor in gynecology
and...be a medical volunteer...in his local ukrainian 'community'

dewd...
it would rain Pooty Tang on you all the time

and do NOTHING but look at women's vaginas all day and all night
if THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO!!!!
you could freakin do it and even get PAID for it!

or he can just stay home and work for some boring accounting job at some bank in Zurich, that launders money for people like me
and put the garbage out correctly on garbage day, or his neighbors will report him to the cops
and it sucks when they knock on your door and talk shite to ya

amiright?

what kinda swiss machinegun ya got?
a 5.56mm?

have ya been to a shutzen?
I used to stay on the lake next to the Chinagarten
A huge pair of Russian Naval Binoculars and I could see spiral galaxies at night and arabian money men in the day

Schweizer und shuster Yiddish

[2tallbill]

I personally think that if the woman is really INTO You , You don't need to do everything perfectly she will not lose interest so fast unless You show You are not interested. This one is not really into You, she is keeping You on a backburner, but this is just my opinion.

Certainly, she is not interested now. Sending a wanna be friends text is akin to the kiss of death.
This is another one post wonder.

[krimster2]

no...
I disagree...

I think we can SAVE HIM
if we convince him to just take a 2 hour flight to Lvov
and buy lunch at McDonald's

nothing more than that...

[olgac]

no...
I disagree...

I think we can SAVE HIM
if we convince him to just take a 2 hour flight to Lvov
and buy lunch at McDonald's

nothing more than that...

Well yes lots of other women are available for sure!

[krimster2]

dve devochki na kazhdogo malchick



what's scary to me...is that we are maybe 60 years into the future from when this musical video was made...
and look how much the world has changed...

and one day....
we're gonna look at TODAY as "the good old days"
and it's just gonna keep goin downhill until it all just breaks apart and shatters

by the pricking of my thumb
something wicked, this way comes

a future Evil
is the combination of AI and money into Techno-Fascism
to create a new puppet master
that no one can even identify

unless the people learn how to fight back

I am the Outlaw Krimster
revoltionary Poet and designer of period doll furntiture

and I set my low salt tolerant sea monkeys free
into the black sea

at the same spot where Pope Clement I was martyred...

let all who are brothers in Christ...
rise up and smite the wicked

that never "gets old" does it?
still a hit after all these years

borgia moi musiaka