How to use Fdate

[Trenchcoat]

Ok so I am running this thread as a fair number of people have complaints that Fdate doesn't deliver for them. I will answer what I think are the problems and solutions, in brief.

I think to start with a common problem is that everyone wants someone better than they are. The person who is better rarely wants someone much worse than they are. So realising where you are at and deciding if you can improve yourself in any which way, appearance, clothes, personal situation, attitudes & ways, etc is something to consider. After being honest with yourself and your situation and if deciding that you are who you are and not much can be done then adjusting your expectation to women that would be your equal or less can help a lot I believe.

Fdate like many dating websites has that difficulty in the there is no bar from guys messaging the prettiest women. In real life we may see a pretty women and while admiring her it may be decided that consciously or subconsciously that we don't stand a chance probably for good reason or that she doesn't seem open to us and so we give it a pass. On Fdate there is no bar like that, men see photos of women and because they are on there they think they are available to all comers. That if course is not the case and many guys get their hopes up messaging the top women and get deflated when there is no success, they don't get a look in, etc.

Instead I would say the secret to getting success on Fdate is perseverance.

It's natural to contact the hottest women on their most guys will do, it's natural. I'm not saying exactly not to but instead not to be discouraged by the lack of success in response from those women. Fdate instead needs perseverance, over a long period of time on there if you persevere what happens is that the your mind will introduce a natural bar that will be lowered until you get down to women that will accept you. Your mind will get fed up of chasing the hottest women on there and will start to come around to messaging the less hot women. Your mind will start to ask what can you give on in terms of requirements and what other women just might be acceptable to you in enough other ways.

That is important I think. We can't all just crowd into the hottest girls on there, yes we try and no doubt will continue to try as a first response after signing up and posting our profile. However, numbers dictate that the odds of that working for the everyday man are slim to none. That's when most guys lose hope and give up, lose faith in Fdate and go off. Instead the answer is perseverance, perseverance over the long term and not just a short term response. There are of course no guarantees on Fdate but that is what I have found to be what can work in the end.


Remember with Fdate you are dealing with real women (usually), it's reality and not a manufactured dream world for men so once you accept that you can be in a better place, good luck!

[2tallbill]

Fdate like many dating websites has that difficulty in the there is no bar from guys messaging the prettiest women.

Additionally, if you are 58 and want to write 20 year old girl there is no law against it, but the
girls who write you back are going to have dubious motivations for doing so. You will be swimming
with sharks (maybe men sharks named Yuri) nothing good will come from this.

Take your age subtract ten years, consider that the absolute minimum age that you will consider
unless you are ridiculously handsome, tall, muscular, a thick wallet, speak Russian and have
exceptional social skills. Even if you have all these things don't subtract more than 5
additional years. I know of a dozen guys who broke these rules 100% of them are
divorced.

[Trenchcoat]

Additionally, if you are 58 and want to write 20 year old girl there is no law against it, but the
girls who write you back are going to have dubious motivations for doing so. You will be swimming
with sharks (maybe men sharks named Yuri) nothing good will come from this.

Take your age subtract ten years, consider that the absolute minimum age that you will consider
unless you are ridiculously handsome, tall, muscular, a thick wallet, speak Russian and have
exceptional social skills. Even if you have all these things don't subtract more than 5
additional years. I know of a dozen guys who broke these rules 100% of them are
divorced.

I would agree with that. In fact I would say for WM looking for a WW the guy should look for a woman roughly 5-10 years younger than he is. Same for the FSU the guy should look for a FSW roughly 5-10 years younger than he is. I'm not saying that it couldn't work with a girl less than 5 years younger than the man but in general for a long term relationship age gaps where the woman is less than 5 years younger than the man risk the man becoming discontent as the woman ages.

That is the problem I think that happened in the West that post WWII it was seen as the cultural norm for the guy not to go for a woman much more than a couple of years younger than he was. During my time as a late teen/early twenties guy growing up in the UK in the 90s that still held sway for most youngsters around my age even though divorces were rocketing with many older men around their forties and most commonly fifties discontent with the old hags their women had become who were only about a couple of years or so younger than they were. At the same time a man's wealth/earning potential can commonly be at its peak from around his 40s/50s onwards. So the hypergamy imbalance often got too much imbalance between the two.

For some reasons there can be reasons why an age gap greater than 10 years might work in the FSU. Many men risk over estimating themselves with an age gap over 10 years though and so that is a big risk for them so I agree that a 5-10 year age gap is probably going to be the safety zone where most relationships will stand more chance of working out long term.

Of course there can sometimes be outliers to everything but it's best not betting on that one.

[Trenchcoat]

I would say in general for Fdate to look at it like a packet of Jelly Babies (box of chocolates 🤔 )

There will be all sorts of different Jelly Babies in Fdate and it's the job of those seeking a partner on there to work out what sort of Jelly Baby they are dealing with and whether that Jelly Baby will suit them or not.

Deciding upon which Jelly Baby is which comes with experience and insight I think. The better you get at it and determining whether that Jelly Baby might suit you the more chance of success you may have.

[2tallbill]

I would agree with that. In fact I would say for WM looking for a WW the guy should look for a woman roughly 5-10 years younger than he is. Same for the FSU the guy should look for a FSW roughly 5-10 years younger than he is. I'm not saying that it couldn't work with a girl less than 5 years younger than the man but in general for a long term relationship age gaps where the woman is less than 5 years younger than the man risk the man becoming discontent as the woman ages.

That is the problem I think that happened in the West that post WWII it was seen as the cultural norm for the guy not to go for a woman much more than a couple of years younger than he was. During my time as a late teen/early twenties guy growing up in the UK in the 90s that still held sway for most youngsters around my age even though divorces were rocketing with many older men around their forties and most commonly fifties discontent with the old hags their women had become who were only about a couple of years or so younger than they were. At the same time a man's wealth/earning potential can commonly be at its peak from around his 40s/50s onwards. So the hypergamy imbalance often got too much imbalance between the two.

For some reasons there can be reasons why an age gap greater than 10 years might work in the FSU. Many men risk over estimating themselves with an age gap over 10 years though and so that is a big risk for them so I agree that a 5-10 year age gap is probably going to be the safety zone where most relationships will stand more chance of working out long term.

Of course there can sometimes be outliers to everything but it's best not betting on that one.

You are reverting to your Incel soapbox/propaganda/spiel again. 

[olgac]

Take your age subtract ten years, consider that the absolute minimum age that you will consider
unless you are ridiculously handsome, tall, muscular, a thick wallet, speak Russian and have
exceptional social skills. Even if you have all these things don't subtract more than 5
additional years. I know of a dozen guys who broke these rules 100% of them are
divorced.

Yes agreed and keep in mind if the woman moves to your country, the marriage needs to make sense here as well. She needs to always think she got a great catch even by western standards