Trip Report: Tver, Russia

[Michelangelo]

  Although, one bit of advice, never try to go drink for drink with the Russian men, unless you enjoy sleeping under the table.  Russian men place some credence in the old Latin saying, "In vino veritas".  (There is truth in the wine). 

LOL!  I remember my first drinking party and toasts with Russians.  As I was getting drunk from so many toasts, I tried to fake the downing of the booze.  But they caught me and made me drink it all, toast for toast.

I woke up the next day in my apartment, not knowing how the evening ended or how I got home. 

Mine had a happy evening.  Never drink with men you don't know and trust.  Your life will be in their good will and in their hands.

Have fun, Jerry.

[catzenmouse]

When we were in Russia last Summer Elena's uncle Igor stopped by with a bottle and wated to drink with me. This led to us heading over to his place for some food and another bottle. Both our wives ended up being upset with us as he ended up hugging the john and they had to help me home but for them the best part of the evening was when I, in my drunken Russian, called Igor "mya padrooga". For the rest of our trip we were teased about being "blue men". I took it as pretty funny but he got such a scowl when they brought it up that I had to laugh even harder.

Ken

[KenC]

Jerry,
I couldn't disagree more with your "sophomore jinx" thinking about the second trip.  My second visit with Lena was far superior to the first!  In between visits, we spoke on the phone almost everyday and we became very close through those calls.  Before you actually meet, phone calls and correspondence have a tendency to follow more of a fantasy path, but after, they can be very effective in paving the way toward a strong and healthy relationship.

When I stepped off the plane in Moscow on my second visit I knew so much more than the first time.  I knew I was visiting Lena and only her.  I knew we had the beginnings of something special.  I knew a tremendous amount of information about her that I didn't the first time.  Of course her parents also knew they could be losing a daughter to an American too!  (So be careful with that)  But the difference was night and day (and for the better not worse).
KenC

[jinx13]

Hey Jerry,

 From what I recall about your last trip you didn't do a whole lot of drinking, and you seem to be a healthy type guy so maybe it's not your thing. I wouldn't worry too much about it or feel pressure to match anyone in Olga's family drink for drink.

 On my first trip over I met with my girl at the time, and her brother for lunch. He was drinking shots of vodka and wanted me to join him, but knowing how the girl felt about drinking, and the fact that I'm a wuss when it comes to hard liquor, I declined and just drank wine with her. He wasn't offended, and we did all the toasts just the same. As a result he got completely wasted, while she and I just had a warm fuzzy feeling    A good time was had by all.

[av8or1]

Gentleman,

Thank you for the input, 'specially jb and jinx.  For the record, I don't drink alcohol whatsoever (even on "special occasions") so I have no concern about getting blitzed when in a foreign country and surrounded by people I don't know.  'Don't really care if anyone has a problem with my not-partaking either, though - out of respect - I wouldn't ever really voice that to any of Olga's "peoples."  Also, there aren't any men in Olga's family, she is an only child and the father disappeared some time ago.  'Was told that she talks to him "seldom", which is probably generous, I concluded probably not at all. (but who knows maybe once in a blue moon or something)  'Point being that I won't be dealing with any of that men-and-their-microscope stuff.  And besides, it wasn't their microscopes that I've ever been too concerned about, it has been the women's scrutiny that I wanted to get through unscathed.  I've always gotten along with the men in the families...

Meeting a Russian/Ukrainian/Azeri/Kazakh family is kinda old hat for me by now, at least in most respects, so no worries to the bretheren out there, I'll be fine.  I'm not nervous about meeting anyone, Olga's mom or friends.  Though as I mentioned, meeting her friends in some ways is actually bigger than meeting the family because she'll tell her family about you but not her friends until you've made a formal big committment to each other.  Kinda the norm with a FSUW I think, but I'm sure there are exceptions.  I plan to bring a couple of big stockings stuffed with fragrant soap, cosmetic "minis", candy and other small goodies.  I have some personal (as in "from the heart") presents for Olga, nothing lavish and I'll bring a couple of souveiners from TEXAS, especially LONGHORN stuff, too.  Sorry jb!  Well actually I'm not sorry, but it sounded good nonetheless.  I'll be sure to get another photo of Olga showing y'all how to Hook 'Em, just for you! lol

As for the "sophmore jinx" and KenC's comments in particular, all I can say is that his rebuttal to my post is based solely on his one experience with his now-wife, or at least it appears to be.  KenC, I'm glad that it worked out for you that way, but to say that what I described doesn't happen is BS - if that's what you're saying, which maybe you're not, to be fair to you.  But what do you think: I'm just making this crap up?  The "sophmore jinx" has happened to me twice now and I've heard guys tell similar stories about how their romance faded to the realities of international courtship during the second meeting.  'Point here being that it can happen despite the best intentions of everyone involved, so I am going in understanding that it's a possible outcome.  I'm not planning on it (based on our phone conversations since I returned in November) nor do I want it to happen, but if it does, I am not gonna be blown out of the water.  I'll be disappointed, but I'll take it in stride and in time move on to find someone else.  Again, I hope it doesn't come to that.  We'll see.  'Just trying to pass on info to the newer bunch, that's all.  'Trying to help.

Good point jb regarding the homework on the toasting thing.  I think I'll put in a call to my interpreter Elena and see what input she has on it.  Maybe I can get her to email me a couple of good toasts written in Russian-eze that I can memorize before I get over there.

jb also brings up a good point about these women and just how wise they are to this whole process.  I've wondered about this issue with previous RW/UW I've dated and must admit that Olga has me quite puzzled.  She doesn't have a computer, doesn't have email, doesn't have a home phone (does have a mobile) and seems to have little interest in the Internet.  She hasn't been in the agency for long, July to be exact - if I'm remembering correctly.  Before that she hadn't considered a foreign guy or even heard about it - again from what I am remembering.  During one of our conversations with Elena she told me that we "had to use the agency" for the paperwork for the K1 visa, if we ended up doing that!  Bwahahaha!  I laughed, then wondered what they were telling her at LTP!  Hmmmmm...maybe I need to get with Dayton on that issue now that I think about it.  Anyway, I told her that we didn't need to use the agency at all for anything else ever again if we didn't want to, and that if we filed the paperwork I would be handling everything myself.  I might use the agency to send stuff to and they might answer some questions if Olga has any I suppose, but I am not planning on using them much other than that.  And for the flat/airport transfers.  'Point to all of this is that she seems to have a pretty inexperienced POV to this whole process.  It left me wondering just how much she knows and/or how much false information she is getting exposed to...

Eh whatever, time will tell.  We'll talk a lot about this stuff in a week's time anyway.

Ok, thanks again for the input!  'Preciate it. (did you tell them about that TEXAN slang word jb?)

Best to all,

Jerry

[jinx13]

 Speaking of toasts, I think mine was pretty standard, I drank to her family, but I remember they were laughing at me a little bit, I thought it maybe it was my pronunciation, but I have to admit something embarrassing here, I just recently learned the surname changes depending on male or female, for example Federov or Federova. Can't believe I never noticed it before, it all makes sense now! 

[KenC]

As for the "sophmore jinx" and KenC's comments in particular, all I can say is that his rebuttal to my post is based solely on his one experience with his now-wife, or at least it appears to be.  KenC, I'm glad that it worked out for you that way, but to say that what I described doesn't happen is BS - if that's what you're saying, which maybe you're not, to be fair to you.  But what do you think: I'm just making this crap up?  The "sophmore jinx" has happened to me twice now and I've heard guys tell similar stories about how their romance faded to the realities of international courtship during the second meeting.  'Point here being that it can happen despite the best intentions of everyone involved, so I am going in understanding that it's a possible outcome.  I'm not planning on it (based on our phone conversations since I returned in November) nor do I want it to happen, but if it does, I am not gonna be blown out of the water.  I'll be disappointed, but I'll take it in stride and in time move on to find someone else.  Again, I hope it doesn't come to that.  We'll see.  'Just trying to pass on info to the newer bunch, that's all.  'Trying to help.

Easy there tiger!  Don't make this a jb/Jinxy thing!  I was merely saying that my experience was much different than what your's was.  Maybe the difference was in the sincerity of the RW?  Could it be that the RW wasn't so sure of things as she may have led you to believe on the first trip?  Getting cold feet as the real deal closed in on her?  I certainly hope that you get to experience something much different  and better on your next trip.  We can only hope for the outcome that I have experienced!  Best of luck to you.
KenC

[Voyageur]

av8tor,

For what it is worth, my second visit to see my wife was far superior in every way, than my first visit. See you soon!