DaKnack's Trip Report: The "Evil Empire" Strikes Daknack!

[Turboguy]

When you see DaKnack in his hat there is not question.  No one but an American would wear it.   Really makes him stand out but it is one hundred percent American.   

Nice meeting you tonight DaKnack.  That was a fun evening.  Sorry I could not stay around longer. 

[Daknack]

Nice hanging out with you TG.  Have to do it again sometime

[Turboguy]

Yes, I had a great time and would definately enjoy doing it again.  Hopefully I can have VWRW along the next time. 

To fill in the gap for the others we had a mini-RWD get togther last night in Baltimore.   Viking came down from NYC,  SOC and his stepson Mike, DaKnack and myself.  We even got to meet SOC's mom who is a very nice lady.

I was driving home so I had to cut out about 10 and got home about 3:30 AM  The party was still going on when I left. 

DaKnack was the only one of the group that I had not met before and he definately added a lot of life to the party.  He is a very cool guy and a lot of fun.   Sorry to divert from your TR.

[Son of Clyde]

After mom's house we went back to my place. I showed Turboguy and Viking an "exclusive" neighborhood near me, called Ten Hills.

We went back to my place and said goodnight to DaKnack and Turboguy. Viking and I decided to drive to Fells Point in downtown Baltimore. It is a historic section dating from the late 1700's.

Raven mania had hit Baltimore and we went to a few local bar/disco's but it seemed everyone was drunk and partying. We were looking for a dance club but it seemed they were all full of drunken Ravens fans.

I pointed out a bar called Max's that boasts having 500 brands of imported beer. The last beer I had "Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout" was $6.75 a bottle.

We called it a night around 1:30.

[Captmonk1]

Where's the rest of this trip report?   

[Daknack]

The Continuing Saga of DaKnack



Episode 3:   Comfort Levels

Those that know me best know that I am pretty comfortable with most social situations.  I tend to dominate a room, conversation, or party.  I woke up fairly early, more early than I nearly ever wake around 2 in the morning and I wasn’t really able to get back to sleep.  I tend to have a hard time getting to sleep, but once I am there, it’s nearly impossible to wake me up.  Again this was something of an exception.  I very rarely remember my dreams, or nightmares for that matter, and can only remember a handful of times I woke with any recollection of a dream.  That night I had a horrible nightmare about come of the things my ex-wife had put me through, and it messed up my frame of mind pretty badly: to the point I was unable to get back to sleep.  I waited all night then till noon for the translator to call (everyone assumed I would sleep long which I somewhat did considering I was in bed quite early).  My lady was set to come at 2 pm after her shift at work.  When she showed up, I was already somewhat sleepy still and feeling a little run down.  We took a walk to a little area that was sort of like a mini amusement park.  Im a slow walker.  I pretty much “mosey” wherever I need to go.  My Lady on the other hand was a rather FAST walker and I found myself having a difficult time keeping pace with her.  She suggested that we ride the Farris Wheel, which we did.  I was rather surprised that they did even something this simple differently.  First, there was no door on the cart, nor did they bother to stop the wheel so we could get in.  We sorta climbed in as the thing was moving, and got off while it was moving.  I remember thinking that it was overpriced for one go around, but I didn’t have a good bead on the currency exchange value at this point, and I don’t even remember what it cost.  It may have simply been an impression of the situation.  Normally in this situation, Daknack, being Daknack, would have made a move.  But things were not comfortable.  Not for me, and not for her.  At this point everything felt very forced, and even a little creepy.  I decided to wait.  We walked around and she showed me the sites in the garden, even McDonalds (which actually looked like an architecturally great building) and down to the Black Sea.  The Black Sea didn’t look much different than any water body I had seen before, however the beaches we hard rock and sharp stone rather than soft sands.  We looked out over the Sea, but she wasn’t comfortable speaking much English, and I had deluded myself into thinking my Russian was enough to survive (it was but ONLY to SURVIVE).  Again there was an awkward silence, that was gratefully shattered by the ringing of a cell phone.  Unknown to me at the time, it was our translator.  As my Lady was talking, I noticed a couple taking photos as if they were on vacation.  The man was taking pics of the woman against the backdrop of the black sea.   So I came over and in a combination of Russian, English, and very articulate pantomime, I indicated that the man should stand with the woman and I would take their pictures.  He seemed grateful and understood.  At this point I was sorely tempted to do my usual joke when taking strangers pictures:  Instead of having them say “cheese”  I say, “Say: Oh my God!  This crazy guy stole our camera!”  Then I pretend to run 3 feet before turning and everyone has a good laugh.  I somehow didn’t think it would translate (btw try that its great for making friends with strangers).  I snapped the pictures and the man approached me and spoke actually respectable English.  Turns out he used to work on an Alaskan Fishing boat and picked up a good deal of English there.  He told me he was embarrassed that his English was so poor (something I have found all Russians seem to do on the subject of English abilities.  It was a bit annoying because almost everyone English I spoke to was superior to my Russian).  We talked a good bit, and the man insisted politely that we take a picture of me and him.  I obliged and dropped my fine hat on his head to which everyone seemed rather pleased).  The photo was snapped and we all said our goodbyes.  Toward the end of the exchange my lady walked up somewhat mystified (and impressed) that I had just approached total strangers.  “My you are a bold one!” she wrote in my electronic translator.  She hadn’t seen anything yet!  She handed me the phone and told me that it was the translator.  The translator told me that tomorrow, we would be going to the banya.  I was pretty happy about this, because everyone talks about the banya as though it is a mystical fountain of youth.  She then told me that she would come by earlier the next morning to help me shop, as I had asked about getting food. My Lady had to work so I would not be able to see her until it was time for the Banya (I believe it was to be at 5 the next day).  We went to a small café from there and had a tea and some cake.  We engaged in very basic and again somewhat uncomfortable small talk.  I was having a bit of trouble reading her body language something I am very good with reading.  As we left, we ran into two groups of people my Lady knew.  One was her boss and her bosses little girl.  She seemed like a nice enough lady.  Then on the street as we were leaving we bumped into another friend of hers who was walking with a group of 5 or 6 women.  All these women walking arm in arm made me wonder if the nation had a high population of lesbians.  Later I realized that was just a cultural thing.  At any rate, her friend shooed my Lady away (she knew I was coming to visit and didn’t want to distract her).  We walked a bit and my Lady took me to a super tiny grocery store where I bought two lumps of cheese (one I ate that night because I was still hungry because one piece of cake all day isn’t very much).  We said our good byes in an unsure way and left it go that night.  I took stock in things after she left.  She was uncomfortable in the beginning, very comfortable with the translator there, and then this day very very uncomfortable.  I defiantly didn’t like the very fast walking and to my mind it almost felt like she was ditching me.  I made a point that I would mentally catalogue all the good and bad things as times of comfort vs discomfort.  At this point, I think we were pretty well in the even, but things were looking more on the worse side of the even.

[Kuna]

DaKnack,

Love the camera gag...  and looking forward to reading more of your report.  May I ask how many ladies you had planned to meet during your trip?  (Did I miss that earlier in your TR?)

Kuna

[Turboguy]

Those that know me best know that I am pretty comfortable with most social situations.  I tend to dominate a room, conversation, or party. 

That was funny, especially under the circumstances.   Yesterday VWRW asked we what Viking, SOC, you and I talked about in Baltimore.  My answer the morning before your post was that "after DaKnack arrived we mostly talked about DaKnack but that you were a very interesting person and it was very enjoyable. 

For those who have never met DaKnack, he is right, he does dominate a conversation and he will keep you hanging on the edge of your chairs for more. 

[BillyB]

DaKnack,

I been waiting for your TR for a long time. Irina from Amazingloves showed up and started a thread in Introductions and Icebreakers and Viking found your pic at their website. It was nice of you to offer a seat(your lap) to that lady.

[Daknack]

AH!  You naughty little monkeys were jumping ahead in my story!  Shame shame!  I am doing my very best to remember the days exactly as they happened, but I suspect things might be off here and there, like one days beginning might be anothers, and I have a feeling I will forget some days in total exactly what happened.

As for how many... just one.

[DonAz]

Matt~ Hurry and get on with your trip report or I'm gonna tell it for you. only difference is I'm gonna lie

That was Riviera Park you were at with small Amusement park.

Too bad we didn't get to meet in Sochi as I was coming in as you were going out.

Ira told me the Banya you went to. I was never at that one before so we went. Great place. Been there twice already this trip with family and friends and plan on going again but this time it will only be Yulia and I. I have to try that honey and salt treatment. Sounds yummy

Matt Your Lady is such a sweet woman. Folks we've met Daknack's Lady quite some time ago. My wife and I are both very impressed with her and feel sure she will make a wonderful wife.

Matt I want you to know that Yulia and I wish you and Z all the very best and a happy future.
 
We are very happy for the both of you

Don and Yulia

[2tallbill]

I have read a zillion of your posts (I read waaaaayyy more than I post) and have enjoyed them I sent you a pm one time long ago (in a land far away (keeping with the empire theme)) and really wish you the best on your trip. I look forward to reading the rest of it and I know how hard / impossible it is too keep up to date on a trip report.

UspEhov! (have success)

Bill

[DKMM]

This is great stuff!  Ahh the cold reality of awkwardness when you first meet them... well its a thrill at least!  And learning how to handle situations (that you normally take for granted, like how to make a girl laugh) all over again is a real challenge.  

Too bad others are sorta giving away the story.  Awaiting your whole TR!

[Rim]

DaKnack,
It seems that you are having a difficult time because your ability to communicate effectively is paramount in shaping your immediate social environment.

Those that know me best know that I am pretty comfortable with most social situations.  I tend to dominate a room, conversation, or party.

You can't do that if you can't speak the language, so you're feeling very much out of your game.

I was having a bit of trouble reading her body language something I am very good with reading.

You've read this board long enough so that you should have seen this many times with other men. You know what to do.

[Son of Clyde]

DaKnack,

I been waiting for your TR for a long time. Irina from Amazingloves showed up and started a thread in Introductions and Icebreakers and Viking found your pic at their website. It was nice of you to offer a seat(your lap) to that lady.

What, is this a fashion site? I can't find Amazing gloves. 

[Daknack]

DaKnack,
It seems that you are having a difficult time because your ability to communicate effectively is paramount in shaping your immediate social environment.You can't do that if you can't speak the language, so you're feeling very much out of your game.
You've read this board long enough so that you should have seen this many times with other men. You know what to do.

Actually I was very popular and still did well in most social situations dispite the language barriar (much to my surprise).  This difficulty was for another reason that will be revealed in an installment about 3 or so more episodes in.

[Rim]

Then hurry!!!

[viking]

Yawn. Somebody call me when DaKnack is ready to start writing about his trip again. C'mon buddy!!! Do we have to hog tie and beat it out of you? Steal your hat and hold it for ransom? 

[Kuna]

Rivetting story but I feel like I'm watching Castaway with Tom Hanks again... There's just no dialogue!   

DaKnack...  maybe you can just jump to the bit with the girl sitting on your knee in the dating site photo???  No, even better... just tell us what happened during the farewell at the airport! 

OK, I'll shut up now... 

[Son of Clyde]

I don't think DaKnack had a difficult time once he understood the situation. It is quite normal to feel uncomfortable in a new situation and what DaKnack did was to make these moments eventful.
Like the guys and gal who wanted to practice their english. It was the perfect opportunity to make new friends. I might have been reluctant to pose for pictures with strangers but DaKnack has the knack for meeting new people. The language barrier does not have to be an obstacle. You can communicate non verbally in many situations.

[jb]

The language barrier does not have to be an obstacle. You can communicate non verbally in many situations.

  ,,, Try ording a four course meal using your non-verbal communication skills,  If you think that was tough, multiply that times a thousand to try and make a marriage work without a common language.

I've heard this non-verbal bullcrap from too many failures to believe any of it.  Yes, it is true that there are exceptions to the rule, there have been a few women come here without knowing 10 words of English and survive, but those women are one in a thousand,,, does anyone like those odds?

[Rvrwind]

Well I guess we are an exeption then, because when I met my wife she knew about four words in English. Now I can't shut her up!!!  (Just joking sweety.)
Language is only a barrier if you allow it to be. Mankind was communicating long before a real language was spoken. That is fact, not fiction. Sure maybe it ain't the easiest course but anything worth attaining really never is easy, at least never has been in my life!

[KenC]

Boys, boys, boys,
Rather than derail Deknack's T/R, why don't you take the language debate to the thread started on "How necessary is English?" in the experienced section?  Just a thought.
KenC

[Daknack]

Episode 4:  La La La La La Banya….  Daknack gets hot and bothered.

The night before I had slept very early again (around 6pm local time).  My lady was working until rather late, and the translator came and we went to the local farmers market.  Here… I had a FRIGGIN blast.  This was my second time walking out in the city and I resolved that I would learn how to do this and the city as a whole.  I despised this feeling of helplessness and inability to get to and from somewhere.  I suddenly realized some of the initial conflicts in RW-AM marriages here in the US.  No one likes those feelings.  I found a woman that spoke a small amount of English in the Farmers Market, and had a little talk with her.  It would not be my last with her either.  Ira arrive at noon and we had a brief discussion about the day before.  In short I said I think we both like each other, but that it was a bit uncomfortable.  She said that is to be expected somewhat as its not exactly the natural way of meeting someone.  Ira and I walked down the street and I did my best to take note of landmarks so I could find my way around.  I asked various questions and I walked around the market discussing various foods, a little about the banya, and of course my Lady.  We moved around what here would be a Farmers Market, but in Sochi it was the primary way of acquiring ones food.  The Butchers were really good at removing the fat from their meat, and I bought some beef, as well as some vegetables.  Ira bought some food as well, for the banya which surprised me.  Food at a pool or spa?  Wouldn’t fly here in the US.  I came to know the Market pretty well and it became a bit of my past time to come and visit when my Lady was at work. We left the Market and I relaxed before the Bayna.

Ira, and Zera (yes that’s the name of my Lady) came later that day in a cab, and off we were to the Banya.  We stopped briefly to buy some beer and to pick up a young man that helps Ira run the website and with computers named Dennese (I think a Russian variant of Dennis).  Dennese came so that the ratio of men to women with us would be even and the idea was so everyone felt more comfortable.  We came up a very long winding road up a mountain, and then disembarked.  Dennese and I went into one door to change and the women into another.  The changing rooms had a door opposite the ones we entered that led to the spa.

After Dennese and I had changed, we both seemed confused if we should go out the spa door or out the door we came in to wait for the women.  We settled on the door we came in at, looking for the women.  They poked their heads out at us and a man that worked for the Banya introduced himself as Igor.  He was a big guy, but not as big as I am with short cropped black hair and a face with a smile that came easy.  We shook hands and my first thought was “This is a pretty cool guy, he feels comfortable just walking up talking to people.”  Zera came out and said a few words to him and Igor waved as he walked to the back.  Finally we were all ready.  Armed only with a towel and a Banya hat (a generous gift of Elena) I went into the dryer Turkish sauna.

Now, to tell a little bit about Daknack.  Generally speaking the only time I like being “Hot” is in a hot tub, (though I like the desert and Vegas type weather).  Sweat, heat and such generally makes me miserable and unhappy.  I am usually hot where other people are freezing.  I will also say that I’ll never allow anyone to tell me Russians can tolerate more cold than Americans.  In my travels people were bundled up and I enjoyed walking about with only a light sports coat and light cotton shirt.  People always were asking me why I wasn’t bundled up and I would tell them “Americans blood run HOT!”.

So anyway, I go into this dry sauna and it is just the 4 of us.  I was feeling pretty damn hot, and started to sweat.  Though the sweat wasn’t too bad because it was dry heat.  After a time it was time to get into the water.  I was all in favor of this!  I love hot water.  I got in though, and it wasn’t that hot. In fact it was barely warm.  But I liked it more than sweating!   From there it was back into the Banya.  This time when we left I was HOT.  Next to the “hot” tub was a “cold” tub… and it was actually cold.  I jumped in the cold water and stayed in a little bit.  Everyone was amazed that I just got into the cold water so easily. What can I say… I’m hot blooded.

After that I got into the cool/warm water with everyone else.  After a few minutes it was time to eat.  We dried off, and headed to a room at the back playing Russian MTV (it had some American music too that come on time to time).  We all sat around laughing and talking.  Soon we were joined by Igor who came over had a drink and sat with us and had a cigarette and was hanging out with us.  Some people might have been annoyed, but I thought this was pretty cool.  I am the type of person that makes nice with bartenders, waitstaff, and pretty much anyone.  Hell I hang out at a local Outback and all the waitresses have drinks with me and my friends (sometimes even going out to a local Mexican place when they all get off work).  This made me like Igor even more than I already did.  I tend to like people that are socially comfortable.

As we talked, I came to find out that Zera was renting a room from with Igor’s family, and extended family.  The family runs a small bed and breakfast type inn in Adler outside of Sochi.

Igor told me he was going to give me the Russian Banya treatment!  So we all go back an everyone goes to the Turkish sauna, I though go with Igor to the Russian Banya.  Inside its hot… and humid too.  I laydown and Igor tosses more water in the rocks…. Great!  I needed to sweat more!  Hah hah!  So I lie down on my belly and he is wacking me with branches.  Hmm  I don’t mind a good spanking, but I usually like to be doing it and with a girl involved!  At any rate, it was a pretty good and relaxing time… but the hot wet branches made my skin feel like it was on fire.  At a certain point I just jump up yelling “HOT HOT HOT!!!”  Then I ran to the super cold spa and jumped in.  It was pretty damn cold, and things happen in a guy’s pants in cold water, but I didn’t care it felt too good.

After a few minutes I go back in the Banya where I get more branch treatment.  Wack Wack Wack.  Of course I am sweltering, then comes the inevitable “HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!”  This time Igor is expecting it and we run out together outside into the freezing cold and jump into the pool outside…  Holy hell guys it was cold!  Anyway after jumping in I climbed right back out.  Igor and I talked a little bit and we pantomimed a good bit.  I had a really good connection with Igor and even when he was trying to explain complex things, I seemed to have an instinctual knowledge of what he was trying to say.  He explained to me where he lived and pointed out where Adler was in relation to the surrounding areas.

We came back in, and had changed up, then we had a little more to eat, and relaxed a few minutes.  Igor then drove everyone home, and I was extended an invitation to stay with Igor his family and extended family and Zera.  I was told that the Banya would make me sleep well, but it wasn’t true!  I made me super active and I had to wind down to get to sleep.!

[CaptB]

Hey Daknack,

Are you going to finish your trip report?

Capt B