My trip to Sumy Ukrane

[goldbug]

I will warn you before you start to read I ramble so if you want to skip the first part and get right into the trip start at the March- April date.
 
   I will start a bit before I left. I started surfing the internet agencies about a year and half prior to my trip with no plans what so ever to make a trip. I had zeroed in on about three different ones that I was watching with regularity and had been casually picking up any info about travel outside the U.S. I had looked over the local agencies and didn’t like what I found there. 
 
  In January of 2003 I decided I was going to take a trip outside the country and see some of the world. So now I’m thinking what kind of trip am I going to take, believe me I considered the 20 countries in ten days tourist package and going for the usual tourist trips that you hear all of your friends tell you about when they get back. Then the idea hits me why not combine a couple of things in one trip I had already decided I wanted to try marriage a second time so I thinking hey not a bad idea a vacation and meet some ladies too, so I’m wondering if these internet agencies are real or just a scam; it seemed hard to believe that there would be that many women out there of all ages that would want to marry a foreign man. Anyway I scheduled the time off and spent the next 3months in a panic trying to get all the arrangements made. Getting the passport wasn’t hard but all the info I found on how to do it was way out of date and this is info from the government postal who is suppose to know what they want and how much it costs. Next I had to set up my trip so I could get the visa, I had been emailing the three agencies that I had been watching with every question I could think of about their trip packages. All said email us with any questions you have, well one never responded so they got struck off the list, the other two replied and the second didn’t give me what I felt was satisfactory answers to my questions and eventually stopped replying I’m sure they decided I wasn’t going to actually make the trip. The third I talked with initially the owners answered all of my questions and put me with what they called my personal rep. he in turn put me in contact with the local agency in the city I decided on, at which point I talked directly with the owner of that agency while making my final arrangements. At this point everything else is done and its about four days before my trip and the passport finally arrives back.               

March – April 2003

    I board the plane and spend and uneventful day in planes and airports. I arrive in Kiev about 5 or 6 wondering if I’m going to have a ride or if I have been screwed, to my relief when I walk thru the doors there’s a man there with my name on a cardboard he grabs my bags and says to follow. We load up in a car and hit the road for another four hour trip to Sumy. We arrive and he takes me to my apartment and then calls the agency owner, we talk for a bit about my trip over and she outlines the plans and timetable for the next day. At this point everything has worked out so I’m just about to burst with excitement
At about 11 Polena arrived to pick me up and show me how to get to the agency. We conversed about several things and I feel she gave me some very good an truthful information about life in the Ukraine. She first explained it wouldn’t be unusual if I made several trips to the Ukraine before I found the lady I was looking for. We finished firming up the interview schedule and I had about 4 interviews with a couple of breaks in between where we strolled around town and visited, the interpreter was a very nice and helpful young lady who probably over stepped her bounds and helped the idiot she was talking for get food and toilet paper so he could get by in his quarters.

  The next day she arrived and we walked about 10 min. to get to the agency so I would know how to get there on foot. This day was pretty much the same as the day before she explained that she had another client arriving on day three and wondered if I would like to get out and see some of the town as he wanted to see some of the sights I said that sounded great and she told me he was from Australia. I then had several more interviews  the ladies I met were local an had traveled very little so they like me had never met a foreigner, all seemed very happy to have had the chance to actually meet and talk first hand with someone who was from the other side of computer. I very much enjoyed the chance myself to meet such a group of pretty women. Their ages ranged from mid twenties to upper thirties.

   On this day when Polena called to tell me she was sending the car to pick me up I told her that I would walk to the agency by myself she seemed to be a bit surprised. I enjoyed a good 30 min stroll to the office as I wasn’t in a hurry and took in some of the sights on the way. I think I worried that poor woman to death while I was there because I because I didn’t call her with a problem every 5 min. We would start the interviews around 12 stop around 7-8 in the evening as several of the girls couldn’t get off work, so we spaced some time in-between interviews. On this day one of the ladies called and said she couldn’t make it because her child had come down sick so we had about a 3 hour gap for the next meeting the interpreter asked if I would like to take a walk downtown so we went to the center of town somewhat and walked thru an area that had been sectioned off for foot traffic and they were remodeling the buildings in classic Ukrainian styles and colors. She explained that they were fixing it up for tourism that was expected in the next few years most all of the buildings had a story behind them. It was the very picture of what you see in all the ads and literature about foreign places.

   Today I met the Australian gentleman he had some problems with his flight and had missed one of his planes. He was a few years younger than me and also on his first trip. We spent several hours riding around town visiting monuments, graveyards, churches, parks, and anything else she thought we might be interested in seeing. He then went on to meet a couple of ladies that were scheduled to meet him and I had a break and did some souvenir shopping for family and friends back home. And learned that you could walk across Sumy in about 10-15 min., I think I heard this several hundred times by the end of my trip. Everyone I talked to eventually told me this fact. Which was followed by how long does it take to walk across your town? And most I’m sure didn’t believe my response or thought I was a bit short upstairs. You could see it in their faces but they were too polite to just say you’re a liar. My response was if you start at one side and drive across it at 60 miles an hour it takes between 30 – 50 min. I didn’t even want to try and explain that if you were to walk it would probably take all day and you still might not be at the other side due to the way Okla. City is laid out.

  We were back to interviews the next day and on this day the last interview was with a lady who had come straight from work I believe her name was Tanya she was very interesting and quite delightful and as we finished the interview I ask if she had eaten supper yet and she said no, so I asked if she would like to have supper with me on the terms that she would pick a restaurant since I didn’t know which were good and which were not she agreed and the 3 of us went to eat. I couldn’t begin to tell you what it was we ate except it was wonderful and I could tell it was seafood of some type. We had a semiprivate room as they were having a birthday party in the main room. I found this out because the ladies started to giggle and look at the floor when a woman and child stopped on the steps out side our room and started to talk to the child, I got the distinct feeling that the interpreter only explained the essentials to me. The child’s feeling’s had been hurt because grandpa wasn’t paying him the attention he thought grandpa should. And mom was explaining that it was grandpa’s birthday and so on, the way only a mother can do with that sharp whip in her voice and then turn right around and be so tender, which at some point the girls thought was hilarious but wouldn’t elaborate on. This lady I would have been very interested in continuing correspondence with. Except she explained that she had currently been having a on/ off relationship with a separated man in a neighboring country and she hadn’t decided if she should bail or not.

  We had now reached the point where I had interviewed all the women that I had an interest in and I asked several back for a second interview with more detailed questions. And no I was working on the fly with any questions I could think of that might be of concern. I had not been in contact with any of them prior to my visit. So I hadn’t gone with any plans to start any visas. My main goal was to assure myself that they were real and any that I corresponded with had also agreed and were expecting me to write. I found three that I talked to for several months after but didn’t go anywhere.

  Then with the interviews done and my trip nearing its end on the last Saturday there they had a beauty pageant which the agency was one of the sponsors so I was given tickets asked one of the ladies to go. It was a very enjoyable evening if a bit on the loud side.

  In all it was a great success I felt and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, it fueled my interest to find someone from the Ukraine. From the answers I got I felt that their values and beliefs were in line with what I was raised with in the areas of family and marriage. And that most weren’t simply trying to get a ride to the U.S. they were honestly looking for a relationship.

  Looking back I realize there were a lot of things that could have gone wrong and made the trip a disaster but I got lucky and it went very well and I got a look into another culture with different views and ideas that opened my eyes to the fact that they were people just like us only at a lower standard of living but just as proud as us.


By Bruce G.(goldbug)

[Turboguy]

Nice TR Goldbug.   Very interesting and easy to read.  I enjoyed to observations from a first timers view and some of the comments.   I wish you the best of luck in your search.

[jinx13]

 Hi Bruce,

 Good T/R, but I wish you would have given more details, you didn't say much about the women, or the city. My girlfriend is from Sumy, and knows Polena too (she was with her agency briefly) it would have been interesting for us to read about the places you went and the things you did. What restaurants did you you go to etc.

 By the way, my g/f doesn't know what you're talking about when you say you can walk across the city in 10 -15 min., it takes 2 hours by bus/trolley. It's a city of 300,000 not a small village.

[bgreed]

Hi Bruce,
Nice trip report nice to see someone else that has made trip to Sumy Where my fiancee lives.  I'll have to agree with Jinx though a little more detail will help the newbs.

Jinx I think they mean walking accross the center of the city after all in most FSU minds that's the only part of the city that really counts.

By they way I leave for Sumy again on the 8th of February woooo hoo!!!

[jinx13]

 bgreed,

  Nice to hear from some guys that have been to Sumy, it's a city that seems to unknown to most guys, maybe that's a good thing! I have checked out Polena's website, some very nice looking girls there. It's also close to Kiev, which is good, and conveniant for meetings.

 I want to go with Nataly this summer and visit her family, and have her show me around Sumy. I have been her tour guide the past year and a half, would be nice to have her lead me around for a change, and I'm sure she would be happy to do it. 

[goldbug]

Hi.

 Yes, I agree with you my writing skills leave a lot to be desired. Unfortunately my memory isn't as good as I would like to think it is so most all of the names of places are gone. I spent a long time after I returned home sorting out the impressions and information I had taken in, it was my first trip to anywhere of note and I loved it I just think it was too much at one time to get it all in one trip of 10days while trying to consentrate on meeting Lady's. I would like to go back one day an spend some time really exploring it. A couple of places I can think of that made and instant impact were the war memorial they had setup for the fathers and sons who never returned home it struck a semblance with me of our memorial of the losses in Vietnam. And of course the government building that is in the shape of a crescent build by the old government if I remember right I was told it was the main government building that housed the KGB and the embassy. And why this one stuck with me I don't know but I was taken to a park in the downtown area and shown a statue of the founding father and the story I was told about it in short was that everytme the government changed the statue would appear or disappear according to the political winds. The last place that made a big impression was the site of the original fort built to protect the pass from invaders. Other than that I remember a visit to McDonald's on about the 7th or 8th day where I stuffed myself. And even thou the flavor of the food was a bit different it was close enough I just wished they had had some good ole regular Kasteup I could have drowned everthing in.       
   I know Jinx but everyone who I had much of a talk with seemed to throw that phrase out. And at the time I was puzzled by it and they also added that it was a small town of 300,00. Myself I grew up in a small farm town of 20,000-30,000 depending on what was happening in the oil field at the time and it would take me about 30-45 min to walk across it at a good pace when I was a young man of 18-20. I eventually just wrote it off to understanding of the language by the translator and that they were trying to gauge what size of city I came from.
  I am glad to hear there are some others who have met ladies from there. And Jinx I would love to hear yours and your g/f's opinion and views of Polena's as I have only my own impressons to go on. My email is up in the members section.
  I will also add some pictures as soon as I can get them scaned.

[Kuna]

Goldbug,

Thanks for the trip report...  it kinda supports an idea I tried to forward some time ago about "expectation".  Taking a trip as a holiday and leaving open the possibility of meeting someone makes it hard to come home disappointed.

I think that there must be temptation for some to be SO committed to marrying a girl from FSU that they get there and "create" the relationship only to find out later they never knew the girl or the romance they felt was not real.

I'm interested... will you take another trip?  When? Would you plan your next trip differently?  Would you return to Sumy or go to somewhere new?

Kuna

[goldbug]

Hi Kuna,

 To answer you simply yes. I would probably have a couple of more trips under my belt sooner if I hadn't had to deal with a couple of arthroscopic knee operations when I returned from the first trip.

  For myself I have to agree it is the only way to proceed, as for others I can see where the focus comes from. The bottom line I think is to use your common sense and take alittle time. My first try was with my high school sweetheart we lasted thirteen years an split, I wouldn't trade it for anything I got two kids I'm proud of and two of the greatest granddaughters in the world. And I know locale couples that met and married inside a month or two. Some are still going strong others didn't make six months.

Will I take another trip?
  most definitely.

When ?
  I hope to this year provided the river doesn't rise and the dam don't break.
 
Would you plan your next trip differently?
  Most assuredly I plan to do more reseach in depth, one of the things I started doing after my return was watching those Educational travel doc.s on OETA on Sundays they have alot of little tips and ideas that could be applied to many trips and every once in awhile they have a country on that I think I might like to visit, and hopefully with the resources available on the internet and my ability to access them has improved.

Would You return to Sumy or go to somewhere new?
  Yes to both,
  I continue to look at any profiles I come across that list Sumy as their home with a little more interest maybe because it is familiar and I can ask questions about things and have a common ground to talk about.   
Sumy even after only 10 days feels comfortable and is a tiny bit known. I feel I was made welcome and treated very well by the people I dealt with. The only accommodations I can comment on were of the apt. that I stayed in. It was clean, furnished, had all of the necessities, a few dishes and pans, a TV, computer, and piano, and a small enclosed balcony. It belonged to the agency I used. The area the building was in looked to be in one of the nicer parts of town, but at the time I was there winter was just ending an it was still snowing every once in awhile nothing major so it was hard to determine. So I was very pleasantly surprised from what I had been led to believe would be the case.

  For now unless I find a lady of special interest there, I will likely move on to new places and try to widen my knowledge of what is out there. At the moment I am in between any contacts and have just started to try and decide where I would like to go. My last trip was at the end of March an first part of April. I'm shooting for the end of July an first part of August this time.

  Also I think I would like to see any ladies I meet on their homegound first where they are more likely to be comfortable and relaxed. Also I wouldn't want them to get the wrong impression. That we would be jetting around the world all the time when it's not going to happen. Got save a little something for them to look forward too.

 

     

[goldbug]

Hi, Bgreed

Congrats on the trip plans I hope that you find it as enjoyable as I did. Defintely make her give you the full tour I think you'll like it. I would imagine that the remodleing of store fronts and streets is a lot further along now and should really be a sight to see. They were very impressive when I was there. I look forward to reading about it when you get back.