Blending of Cultures in Married Life

[Captmonk1]

She is taking university classes with all native English speakers.

In class, she decided within herself that she was stupid too-- speaking accented English and that everyone was laughing at her!!!

She was wrong--her English is very, very, good. 

My wife is also taking classes here in Memphis. She just got A's in Biology and English Comp. 1 doing better than all others in her classes except one other Russian girl who did one point better than her in Biology. ( Go figure )  ( Also shameless plug for how smart my wife is. )

Anyway, the point is, that she also complains about her accent and wonders how she can get rid of it. Luckily I think I am close to convincing her that her accent is fantastic and that it can actually HELP her rather than hurt her.

[catzenmouse]

Now, if you do want to continue to discuss education but stay on topic, how about this for the married guys-- How well do FSU children adapt to schools in America?  Or other countries?

Granted he is only 6, and they soak up information and languages very well at that age, but coming to this country at age 4 with no English and going right to the top of his class in Kindergarten then again in 1st grade speaking better English than many kids who were born here, while staying fluent in Russian, is pretty darn amazing to me.

Ken

[Michelangelo]

Wonderful, Ken! All due to his smart mother and YOUR perfect English :-)  LOL

[catzenmouse]

Wonderful, Ken! All due to his smart mother and YOUR perfect English :-)  LOL

Oh Yeah... me gots me lotz of buk lernin' me purty smert!

 

[ScottinCrimea]

     I/O, we were discussing the relative strengths and weaknesses of the two education systems and instead you got off on the topic of what defines "American".  Typical strategies for those who don't have facts to back up their point of view is to either misrepresent what the other side said, change the topic of discussion, or divert attention in some other way.  We see many examples of this on this board and you provided yet another one.  The point that was being made, staying within the topic being discussed, is that these inventors were not products of the American educational system.
     If I were to make a very generalized statement comparing the two systems, I would say that ours is stronger in the sciences and theirs is stronger in the arts.

[Michelangelo]

Back on topic, please? Blending cultures?  Can you do this other discussion with PMs? Or another strand?  Cheers...

[I/O]

     I/O, we were discussing the relative strengths and weaknesses of the two education systems and instead you got off on the topic of what defines "American".  Typical strategies for those who don't have facts to back up their point of view is to either misrepresent what the other side said, change the topic of discussion, or divert attention in some other way.  We see many examples of this on this board and you provided yet another one.  The point that was being made, staying within the topic being discussed, is that these inventors were not products of the American educational system.
     If I were to make a very generalized statement comparing the two systems, I would say that ours is stronger in the sciences and theirs is stronger in the arts.

Scott.    Physically disecting a brain and reading what is going on in one are two entirely different things and for the record you are about as far from fact as is possible with your assesment of my intent with the question you so vigorously attempt to ridicule, but as they say, perception is reality. The point that is being made here is that you are, like it or not, wrong, because if you bothered to read further, you might have noticed that I drew the point back to the subject of discussion. 

On topic: I would generally agree with you assesment regarding arts vs science and perhaps this is one of the difficult or interesting areas for a couple to blend together.  I have noticed that my fiance', although having studied business/commercial majors, is far more interested and knowledgable in arts than I am.  This is an example of differences we have had to weave together even at this preliminary stage. Nevertheless, I suspect those differences are more to do with history and culture than the education systems  purse'.

I/O

[ScottinCrimea]

I can only draw conclusions about what is going on in someone's head by what they communicate to me, so either my conclusion was correct or you were deficient in how you commmunicated your intent.  But issues with communication is the subject of another thread going on here.  Maybe explain your thoughts to me in Russian and I might catch on better.

Now back on this thread, how can you separate education from history and culture?  Their educational system stresses these areas precisely because of their history and culture.  I see a lot of memorials around here to writers and poets but I haven't seen too many for scientists.  The closest thing I have seen are the streets, parks, etc named for Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space.

[Michelangelo]

Oh Yeah... me gots me lotz of buk lernin' me purty smert!

 

And I bet the kid is pretty good with computers, too! 

[LEGAL]

about education, learning language and so on... 

Olga.

[DKMM]

I don't know if this is an option for you guys, but in my city they have Russian-American schools where they teach half in Russian and half in English.  Its a no brainer when little Sergei and Svetlana come along...

(A little ahead of myself I admit)

[catzenmouse]

And I bet the kid is pretty good with computers, too! 

In kindergarten he was finishing up games like Reader Rabbit 1st grade and doing okay with the 2nd grade ones. And (Grumbling Big Time Here) he beats me consistently at playstation too. Little Rat! 

DKMN,

 You are lucky to have those kinds of options for education. Personally we're a little tired of getting all homework and communications from the school in English and Spanish. Elena asks why can't we get it in Russian too if they care so much about getting the message out. Anyway, that is another topic and/or rant.

Ken

[BC]

I don't know if this is an option for you guys, but in my city they have Russian-American schools where they teach half in Russian and half in English.  Its a no brainer when little Sergei and Svetlana come along...

(A little ahead of myself I admit)

We opted for normal school without special treatment/classes for our kids.  They probably learned faster than they would have with 'crutches'.  Good basic language skills within within 6 months and fully fluent by the end of the first school year making great grades in all subjects.

[KenC]

Michelangelo,
Lena and I have the same on going "hot/cold" battle going on here in San Diego too.  Our home has 2 A/C units and 2 furnaces and she is constantly turning them off to adjust the temp.  No matter how many times I tell her to just keep it set at 72 and never touch it, she continues to play with the damn thermostats!  I have threatened to put lock boxes on both of them.  I tell her that this isn't Russia and there is no need to be uncomfortable.  Which brings up an old story (forgive me if you heard this before).........

When I made my first trip to Russia I had a difficult time with the heat in my flat.  It was boiling in there.  I looked for a thermostat....nada.  I looked for an adjustment valve on the old radiator system....nada.  So I suffered in my sauna for 3 days and nights, taking a shower just before I left everyday and sometimes again at night (didn't want to smell bad on my dates).  Then one day as my interpreter was waiting for me in my flat, she asked me if I thought it was too hot.  I admitted to her that I had no idea how to adjust the heat.  She looked at me like I was an idiot and walked to the large panel of windows and explained that the little windows could be open to allow the heat to escape in order to control the heat.  DUH!  It was just too simple a concept for me to figure out.
KenC

[groovlstk]

Ken, that's really funny!

My fiancee hasn't yet messed with the t-stat, I think mostly because I set it to 68 upon her arrival and haven't touched it since (and it's a bit hidden so I don't think she remembers where it is!). When we're driving, she controls her heated seat but hasn't tried futzing with the overall climate control--for now, at least.

Funny enough, she complains about the warm weather here and hopes we'll have some big snowstorms soon.

[KenC]

Lena doesn't miss the cold Russian weather at all!  When she complains about the cold (here in San Diego?) I ask her how the hell she ever got by in Russia?  She answers, "I suffered a lot!"
KenC

[Michelangelo]

She looked at me like I was an idiot and walked to the large panel of windows and explained that the little windows could be open to allow the heat to escape in order to control the heat. 

LOL 

KenC, Great story!  Now I understand Vik's view of temperature control :-)   I'm relieved that I'm not alone in this problem.  Hmm. a lock box is not a bad idea    LOL

[KenC]

Mike & Groov,
You guys aint seen nothin yet!  Wait til it heats up this summer and you begin your A/C wars!!!   Get ready to hear every soviet BS propaganda excuse why it is more healthy to sweat your balls off rather than run the air!  It ought to be fun for you with the heat in TX and the humidity in NY!
KenC

[Michelangelo]

Mike & Groov,
You guys aint seen nothin yet!  Wait til it heats up this summer and you begin your A/C wars!!!   Get ready to hear every soviet BS propaganda excuse why it is more healthy to sweat your balls off rather than run the air!  It ought to be fun for you with the heat in TX and the humidity in NY!
KenC

Bummer!

And yes, you are correct; when we were in New York this summer, Vik said AC was very bad for the enviroment and people should not use them!

But Vik wants to go to the Black Sea this summer, so maybe that's not a bad idea :-) LOL

[Gator]

Energy Conservation?

All RW use the window thermostat, and actually it is good to introduce fresh air; however, it certainly wastes energy. 

How about when washing dishes?  They let the 150F hot water run continuously at full volume.

It demonstrates that if you do not not charge for BTUs, there will be no conservation.

Are Russians Cold Natured?

Three observations:

1.  Riding in cars and taxis - they keep the heater running full speed even when it is 90F inside the car - something about elevating the body temperature before facing the wintry blasts upon stepping outside.  Everyone is comfortable except for me, and they do not open their coats inside the car.

2.  My son's comment when my ex-fiancee was here in summer 2005, "The house is getting much warmer."  She had elevated the a/c thermostat from 74 to 76 and did not do the off-on.  74 is comfortable in Florida as it reduces the humidity; however, 76 was beginning to feel warm.  She preferred 77-78.

3.  My Cossack likes it even warmer and claims a/c is unhealthy (akin to no ice in drinks). Maybe this is good in that the Florida summer would not bother her.

[jinx13]

 Nataly is constantly saying she is cold and we live in sunny California, I don't know how she ever lived in Ukraine. She says my house is cold, but it's usually 70-72, we battle with the thermostat, she cranks it up to 76, way too warm for me.

 She is ok in the car, but she has a Ukrainian girlfriend that does as Gator describes, puts the heater on full blast, with the fan blowing on the highest setting, but also has the windows half way down. In the backseat I was freezing with cold wind in my face while moving, but stuffy and hot when we came to a stop.

 I remember being amazed with women I met in the FSU and how they complained about cold (in October) it wasn't so bad at all, I don't see how they possibly make it through winters there.  ???

[Michelangelo]

Yes, it is a paradox...bitter cold weather in Ukraine does not bother her but cool weather here does.

Yesterday it was 50 F and a girl was wearing shorts in the grocery store.  Vik thought she was crazy!  It was so cold :-)

[BC]

Yes, it is a paradox...bitter cold weather in Ukraine does not bother her but cool weather here does.

Yesterday it was 50 F and a girl was wearing shorts in the grocery store.  Vik thought she was crazy!  It was so cold :-)

Have to justify that fur coat somehow.... 

[LEGAL]

... the evolution of relationships between FSU women and their foreign husbands in their new home.

So this is my question: How do the cultures blend?  More to the US life?  Or do you maintain clear customs from the FSU in your home? If so, which ones?

Every family is the special State with it's own home policy, legal code and culture. But the culture is a basis of the way of family life and a family's soul. The life's mode, one of the parameters of culture, is  consequence of another parameter of culture - cultural wealth. The evolution of relationships in international family depends on the ability of both sides to analyse and compare the cultures in favour of mutual understanding, tolerant and respectful attitude to strange culture. The American mentality is different from the Russian  specific  mentality. And it is becoming apparent in the attitude of people to  money, time and  upbringing... There is  the concept - Russian soul in the World, but there is not a concept -Russian practicality. The Russian spirituality perfectly harmonizes with American practicality.  A genetically and spiritually strong Russian woman gives the leading role in family to her foreign husband very gladly, keeping the balance of normal and harmonious relationships between woman and man. 
 
But the predominance of one or another culture in an international family always depends from family's localization. I agree with KenC - "We live as Americans,  she can fly under the radar as an American, but she will always be a Russian in her soul" . It is impossible to exclude the influence of the culture, social and economic structure of country, where a family lives, on family's way of life. And it is not impossible to re-educate Russian woman with her Russian soul.

Olga.

[KenC]

 "And it is impossible to re-educate Russian woman with her Russian soul."

Olga.
Why would anyone ever want that?
KenC