Less than 90 days or more than 90 days?

[Photo Guy]

For those of you who are already married or engaged to a woman from the FSU:

When you decided to get married, had you spent less than 90 days of
'face time' with her, or more than 90 days?

[KenC]

much more

[I/O]

For those of you who are already married or engaged to a woman from the FSU:

When you decided to get married, had you spent less than 90 days of
'face time' with her, or more than 90 days?

When the decision was made to get married, it was a total of approximately 70 days face to face together, however, by the time we are actually married, it will be much more than that, depending on what happens next with the visa application.  Roughly over a period of time, it might add up to something like 120 days together.

However if the SC309 visa is refused, out next step is to lodge a writ with the MRT and then join up for some time together either here, or in Russia or a third country.  We havn't decided location yet, but it will be a minimum of another 3 weeks together.

P/G, I dunno what you are fishing for here, but it looks a bit like you might be looking for tools to justify short cutting the process and if that is the case, I think you are singing the wrong song.

I/O

[ScottinCrimea]

Much much more

[Jet]

Lil and I had spent about 30 days "face time" together over several months, but we also both clearly understood that it would take a minimum of 10 months from application to approval which left time for more trips. When it came time for the interview, I arrived in Moscow on July 30, her visa was issued August 6 and our wedding was November 3, a total of 104 days together immediately prior to the wedding.

I agree w/ I/O, this sounds like a loaded question. If you are looking for some justification that the K-1s "90 day no extensions" policy is too short, it's not. You're supposed to be ready to marry BEFORE she arrives here. If you're looking for hypocrites amongst the "old timers", you're probably not going to find that either. Shortcutting increases risk of failure exponentially 

[jb]

Much more.

[CaptB]

My first serious RW relationship was several trips.....with alot of "facetime". My second RW relationship was two trips........with enough "facetime" to know.........she was not the "one".
My third and final RW..........my wonderful wife.......was only a fraction of 90 days of "facetime". We just fit like one-half each......of the final piece......of a 1,000 piece puzzle.
We knew after the first trip. But if she was the first RW.......it would have been much longer.
All that experience with other RW, Russian culture.....etc......does account for a certain "clarity"..........when the right one came along. Knowing only one RW.....on one trip....with limited first-hand knowledge of the culture........would not be recomended IMHO.



Capt B

[Michelangelo]

Much more.

[CaptB]

As to jb's "facetime"........it was alot. Etna was probably thinking........"enough already!!!!!".
Finally a friend put an end to "her" missery........and kicked jb in the backside.........at the same time pointing out he did not have to be the energizer bunny.......of "facetime". 


Capt B

[CaptB]

As far as "90" days of "facetime".......in regards to guys who are still happily "married" (successful?).......I would say it is closer to the upper-limit.......than "average". I have been a member of the RWG since 1999......and a more recent member here. 90 days would be 9
10-day trips.......or six "two week" trips. In the early days of RWG....I read "every" trip report. After reading hundreds of trip reports.....and knowing in excess of 50 AM/RW couples
over the years (most are still married).......I would say the figure.......before landing in the US
via k-1/k-3........is much less than 90 days. Engagement seems to occur alot on third or fourth trips. Average trips seem to be about 10-15 days. In my experience......those having more than 90 days "facetime"......are the exception. I will say......that even though this is the reality.......as much time as "you" need.........will always be better.

At the extreme.........no prior experience with FSU culture......no prior RW dating experience.......puting all your chips on one 10 day trip.......then "engagement"......just can't be recomended. Yes, yes.........for the few who always remind that there are exceptions.....I'll bite......and agree........but the odds are not very favorable.


Capt B


P.S. - For those adding-up their time.......the 90 day k-1 visa time would not count.

[Photo Guy]

Yes, the 90 day K-1 period would NOT count for this topic.
For those who have used the 90 day visa period for a
'getting to know you' period, I would have to advise you that
doing so is a terrible thing. It would be much better for all
involved, to make a few trips to the FSU, get maybe 30 or
40 days of 'face time' and then pull the engagement trigger.
Conventional strategies are usually more effective than
unconventional. True?

[BC]

Conventional strategies are usually more effective than
unconventional. True?

That's what commandment Nr. 9 seems to indicate..

[Photo Guy]

Oh. My Commandment #9 must be different from yours.

[BC]

Oh. My Commandment #9 must be different from yours.

I refer to those posted on this site.

[Photo Guy]

Here's the commandment:

9- Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

That makes sense (bowing down). ...How does it relate to this topic or
conventional vs unconventional?  I see the big difference between
int'l dating and local dating as 'face time'.  I look at a guy like
Turbo and think- this guy is spending a lot of face time with
his fiancee. I see that as a very good strategy for finding out
who she is and vice versa.

The only drawback is, in an ideal situation, it would've been
even better if all of their face time was on his home turf in PA.
The govt doesn't trust his gal - evidently thinks most women
like her would 'overstay' a Tourist Visa.  So instead, he is forced
to get his face time in a 'vacation' setting.  The current
visa system forces guys like us to do it that way.

[BC]

Here's the commandment:

9- Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

That makes sense (bowing down). ...How does it relate to this topic or
conventional vs unconventional?  I see the big difference between
int'l dating and local dating as 'face time'.  I look at a guy like
Turbo and think- this guy is spending a lot of face time with
his fiancee. I see that as a very good strategy for finding out
who she is and vice versa.

The only drawback is, in an ideal situation, it would've been
even better if all of their face time was on his home turf in PA.
The govt doesn't trust his gal - evidently thinks most women
like her would 'overstay' a Tourist Visa.  So instead, he is forced
to get his face time in a 'vacation' setting.  The current
visa system forces guys like us to do it that way.

PG, the 'system' does not force you to look for a mate in FSU.  It's your choice. Commandment 9 simply says that you should use the same prudence in international dating as you would with domestic dating.  Now tell me when was the last time you proposed to an AW after dating her for a week..

If TG's girlfriend meets the minimum requirements for a tourist visa she won't have a problem being able to visit him.. but guess what... they haven't even tried.

Whadda ya want.. your government to serve you a woman on a silver platter?

Your and TG have been treated quite favorably.  Start realizing how generous your government has been and quit b!tching and moaning.

[Bruno]

PG, the 'system' does not force you...

First, i need to inform you that it is not a attack...

My question is very simple : Why do you live now in Italy ?

I think that you have know some problem with the US procedure... and since the time you are married, i think that you was homest in your initial intention...

But really, this is not the problem... so much men ask FSU girl to quit everything for marry a US guy... But how much US guys are ready to quit everything for live with the woman they "love"...

I see some men on these forum who have choose to move in FSU, some who have choose to move to other country... nut i think that very few are able to make what YOU have make... Your experience is related to real love... but to much men think to much about themself.. they wish a educated , young, sexy, beautiful FSU women without any risk, without pay any price...

Yes, hapiness is wonderfull, but it it a two side sword... remember Damocles story... i have a lot of respect for people like you who have choose to quit the know world for the unknow because of the love... very few people are able to make what you have make...

BC, you have certainly earn my respect... and you have make more that a lot of us will make for the sake of love... in short, you are a great men... who have know success... thinking about his relationship and not about himself...

RESPECT

[Photo Guy]

BC, the less intrusive the govt is in my life, the better.

[Bruno]

BC, the less intrusive the govt is in my life, the better.

And why some AM complain when the US gov was not there during a  hurricane... or at some extreme, during the 9/11...

Here in my own country, i laught when people complain about the fact that we have more police in the street and complain about the criminality...

If you wish less intrusive gouverment, try to protect yourself, build your own street, don't count on state medical care ad pension... don't hope on army to protect your country...

Govt are far to be perfect but without them, it will be hell...

[prince_alfie]

And why some AM complain when the US gov was not there during a  hurricane... or at some extreme, during the 9/11...

Here in my own country, i laught when people complain about the fact that we have more police in the street and complain about the criminality...

If you wish less intrusive gouverment, try to protect yourself, build your own street, don't count on state medical care ad pension... don't hope on army to protect your country...

Govt are far to be perfect but without them, it will be hell...

We need a good balance. I just don't want wiretapping :...

[BC]

My question is very simple : Why do you live now in Italy ?

I think that you have know some problem with the US procedure... and since the time you are married, i think that you was homest in your initial intention...

Bruno,

Now that you have made my cheeks flush I'll fill you in on the real story....

After having lived near you for 18 years in Germany (Trier area) I decided to follow my dream and move south.  I bought a home here 10 years ago and moved primarily to get away from the bad weather up north.  My reasons for relocating here had very little, really nothing to do with the fact that I married a RW little over 4 years ago.

In essence, I had no world to 'quit' for love, but believe me if my wife had not been able to immigrate I would be living in RU today.

As far as 'honesty' goes, I can state that our relationship formed far outside MOB circles.  Really a typical 'boy meets girl' story, no agencies, no interpreters and most important - no agenda.   

For the record, we met by chance in a third country, followed up a couple of times, met again a few months later when I proposed and we finally married later in RU that year.  Total time approx 5 months meet to marriage with well over 2 months face-to-face time involved.

I hope you aren't disappointed..

[jb]

I look at a guy like Turbo and think- this guy is spending a lot of face time with
his fiancee. I see that as a very good strategy for finding out
who she is and vice versa.

You think T/G is getting a lot of face time with vwrw?  So far, I think, he's been to her town once for a week, and to then to Egypt for a week and he's already engaged to marry.  WOW~! talk about getting face time before pulling the trigger...  I guess he's able to perceive even better than you.  I swear, you guys who are clairvoyant are so much better equipped than us poor regular people.

[Michelangelo]

JB- Who are you talking to?  Who was that quote from? 

I'm NOT clairvoyant    LOL

And don't care to back up several pages to find out who you are talking to...

[jb]

P/G said that up thread.

[Kuna]

I was going to post something here but I just can't...it's SO frustrating even for a dumb ass newbie like me!