Age difference again: a cultural variation?

[Kuna]

Who the hell is joty anyway says kuna

helloooo kuna lol ,my name is john and i a from texas. i am a 49 year old american man who is engage to a lovely 46 year old russian women. We will be getting married in oct -07.  Nice to meet you.

  Let me address the reason for my post/ i have seen my brother who was married to a women 29 years younger then him and seen first hand what she was after,his money.  He is not with her anymore and has lost most everything so i am a bit bitter and suspious of such relationships.  They just dont work for alot of reasons/  This along with just the emotional level of differences caused many problems.  Thats the reason for the post.

joty,

If you're feeling frustrated and scorned on behalf of your brother may I rephrase your post for you???

__________

  Let me address the reason for my post/ i have seen my brother who was married to a women 29 years younger than him and seen first hand what she was after,his money.  He is not with her anymore and has lost almost everything so i am a bit bitter and suspious of such relationships.  They may not work for alot of reasons/  This along with just the emotional level of differences caused many problems.  Thats the reason for the post.
__________

I can understand you having empathy with your brother but it's unfair to accuse all women to be "only in it for money" when they marry a man much older than them...

I wonder if you've asked yourself what mistakes your brother made prior to marriage and after marriage that might have contributed to the marraige ending?

Just my thougths...

Kuna

[funkola]

My current internet girl is 11 years 13 days younger than I am. Not sure what category that puts me in. I was searching for someone older but she contacted me and we soon found out we had much in common. I talked to her on the phone today for an hour and she brought that very thing up.

[Turboguy]

Let me do a little differnet analogy here.   I have always been extremely attracted to women with very dark or black hair and light completions.   I was involved in two long term relationships with (American) women who had black hair and light completions.   Both were absolute disasters.   Using the same logic it would be easy to say no man should ever even think about getting involved with a woman of that description.  Actually that should be twice as good a reason as your example of age because mine would have two examples vs one for yours.  

If I had decided myself that I would never be involved with a woman with dark hair and a light completion because my results were so bad then I would have missed the best relationship of my life which is my fiancee who had black hair and a light completion.  

[Jazzyclassy]

You are talking about this topic in every section of this forum , that means it is really bothering you , (so that means deep in your heart you know it is not right to marry young people being very old), so then stop chasing young girls, find yourself a merry Christmas women, normal one of your age I will never stop telling that it is not normal for me  when a girl is 20 and a guy is 50 or even 60 oh my god save us all from this

    personally i believe Otis quite odd for a women say 20 or more years younger than the man.  it would look silly ,people would be confused is it a daughter granddaughter,  then when they realize it is couple then they start assuming she is in the relationship for more reason and not physical attraction, money perhaps. then they think you know how gross.      

I also believe in this  and I stress one more time that it happens so that there are mutual love and really great relations  among couples who has such gap , but again it is NOT FOR EVERYBODY , PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO MAKE IT NEW MORAL NEW NORM THAT ALL THE YOUNG GIRLS  SHOULD MARRY OLDIES , I had to use caps lock cos you people do not hear what the others are trying to say )

It is like me marrying my dad , god I would just dig a grave lay there and cover myself with something , that is just so so so much of abnormal to me and I am also the person who has right on her point of view,  if you can not charm the woman of your age then  do not blame the other people who will assume things about you and your young teenager wife  , but again if you are both happy then why not

But please do not create new modern tendency of these age gaps, everything should be natural , otherwise our humanity wont have healthy kids growing in our planet in the future!

and  BTW one should not call  Lugansk to be Russia dear Mir , it's your favourite Ukraine, we do not consider Lugansk to be Russian !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mir]

So the concensus is that there is no cultural difference between Russian and Ukrainian women when it comes to age differences?
Yes Don AZ, Ken C and now TG are examples of couples with huge age differences. I think all the ladies are from Russia.
There are others on this board with 15-20 years gap,I just get the impression that ladies are also from Russia.

The moral issue is ridiculous.What adults do is their business.We can raise the moral issue if it is a forced marriage like the Arabs buying young girls from poor communities in India etc. but not otherwise.

Olga

Since the availability or Viagra etc. the question of sex and age is no longer valid

Turbo

Can I have a copy of the introduction letter you sent to the ladies?

[wiz]

Ageless Love...

He's 59 and she is 26 or, conversely, she is 59 and he is 26.

The general assumption is that either some younger woman is gold digging a wealthy older guy or a younger man is finally fulfilling his need for the mother whom he never had.

Mary Moore, Elizabeth Taylor, Susan Sarandon, Goldie Hawn and Roseanne have a lot more in common than fame. They all chose younger men as their love interests.

The term "cradle snatcher" has been applied to those who seek younger lovers.  Although, it is true that there are those who do so for the wrong reasons, the fact of the matter is that there are many who truly fall in love with those who are much younger or older than themselves.

As in all types of relationships, there are those whose sincerity and motivations are questionable.  However, it would be wrong for anyone to conclude that any relationships spanning as much as an entire generation (20 years) exist because at least one of the individuals has monetary designs or some kind of a psychological problem. Could it be that younger people actually do fall very much in love with those who are considerably older?

It can happen to those who would never think it possible.  Although, it is a statistical fact that most of us will develop a relationship with someone who is within three years of our own age, there are those who will go far beyond that norm. To cast some kind of negative judgement on those who relate in this way is a mistake. In fact, such relationships can be very workable and fulfilling when both truly care about each other.

There are, in fact, older people who have absolutely no qualms about having a younger person as a lover even if it involves realising that part of the attraction has to do with their being financially well off.  I know of a very wealthy older gentleman who took pride in the fact that his material accomplishments included being able to maintain an extremely good looking wife who was thirty years his junior. In fact, they understood each other very well in this regard. It was an accepted part of their relationship and neither was making any attempt to fool the other, or anyone else.
This might not be the kind of relationship that most of us would ever want to experience.

The point to be made here is that there are couples who are very happy with this kind of arrangement.  He enjoys being able to be intimate with a beautiful young woman and she feels more than secure as a result of his income.  It's their life and it works for both of them.
 
One has to consider the possibility that there are indeed those who truly look for the mother/father aspect in a relationship. Those who feel short-changed in this way might seek out an older partner to fulfil that need. Should the older partner be able to both recognise the need and also be willing to meet it, then who are we to say that there is something wrong with this type of relationship? Different people have varying needs.

Age difference is just another one of the many types of committed relationships that make up the fabric of our society. They not only exist, but those involved in them would have it no other way.  

Love even has the ability to cross the boundaries of ageless time.

[Zhena]

How they look together-very depends My husbund looks just perfect. I am sincerely proud of him. Noone ridiciluing us,everybody feels that we love each other. I do not feel that he drinks my energy Actually,he have got more energy than me. I can feel his age only by his wisdom,but I like it.
Back to the topic-no difference in the age preferences between RW an UW. In both countries,you will meet those who doesnt bear a big difference and who doesnt care.

[Gator]

Hellllllooooo,

I met my kindred spirit in a RW 31 years my junior.  The age difference ended the 3-year exclusive relationship, not so much because of physical differences but more because we were at two different stages of life.  I wanted to do family stuff including travel.  I do not work and would not expect my wife to work.  She wanted to do something with her life professionally after years with two young children.  Her related goal was to make her own money (i. e., not live off my money).  

While the next few years would have been fine and fun, I wanted more.  So now I'm with a woman 21-years my junior.  It is pushing it.  As my AW friends say, "she is almost age-appropriate.  We will withhold judgment until we meet her."

If you read the Russian-to-Russian dating sites, the vast majority of women limit the age gap to 5 years or less.  That says something.

[Turboguy]

Well, when I checked the poll a few hours ago I think the total was 10 Russia 4 Ukrine regardless of age difference.   I have to say it is not what I would have expected and may change as more people vote.

Also as of the last time I looked there were no votes from couples with 10 or fewer years difference in age.

Yes, you can have a copy of my letter of introduction.  It will have to wait till I get back home in about a week.  I am in Sunny Southern California right now.  

[Jazzyclassy]

     My current internet girl is 11 years 13 days younger than I am. Not sure what category that puts me in. I was searching for someone older but she contacted me and we soon found out we had much in common. I talked to her on the phone today for an hour and she brought that very thing up.                

here comes another point  that there are girls already brought up on this age difference  ,so they already have in their mind that it is ok and  why not, for them , am not saying it is bad it is just something new, and I would  not want to live in such world where there is no place for the people who are conservative in some way and who always stand their ground for their interests and their moral qualities and values,

Why shall I praise this age gap  if I feel different? only just cos almost  all the people here are married to young girls or who have young girlfriends? maybe so ,but there are people who have different point of you and they will always be  arguing about this with them , so I prefer not to touch this topic with the people I respect cos I know my point of view will be different, so better never even discuss it , some people are happy and that is the main thing, why bring up all this discussion again?


The maximum age gap  it is like 6-8 years  and still I think it is something not comfortable

I want to be not mentally attracted to my boy but also physically want him so much , so he is lucky to be my age:P

[Mir]

JC

I did not call Lugansk Russia>I only pointed out the fact that it is in Eastern Ukraine where the majority of people consider Russian as their first language.
And the main point was that the scammers are always from the Russian speaking part of Ukraine.Also there are large epicenters of scammers in Rostov,Yokshar Ola that are in Russia.If the scamming is an organized racket then like other organized crime in that part of the world (like prostitution,extortion etc.) it is being run by the RUSSIAN mafia. This is not to say that all Russians are bad but should give you some insight into what is wrong with your country.
As far as my favourite being Ukraine. Well it certainly is a much easier country to visit then Russia.If Russia abolished visa/visitor registration etc. then it might became my favourite
Maybe you should convince your government to do so,it will make it easier for your BF to visit as it looks like he is not Russian.

[Turboguy]

Jazzy, No one wants to change your mind about how you feel about age differences that are appropriate for you.   What I think is right for me has no bearing on what you feel is right for you and the same goes in reverse.  It is a personal choice. 

Just out of curiosity may I ask how old you are Jazzy.   I noticed you said your wanted to to be mentally attracted to your "boy".  I had sort of guess before that you were fairly young.

[Mir]

Zhena

Can I ask what is the age gap between you and your husband?
Which country are you originally from?
Is the photo in the avatar yours?

[Jazzyclassy]

      Maybe you should convince your government to do so,it will make it easier for your BF to visit as it looks like he is not Russian.
    

oh please do not you worry about my boyfriend:))))

I would hate it to cut you off your fav Ukraine: so better let it be how it be am not somebody who can fix the problems with visas:)

 This is not to say that all Russians are bad but should give you some insight into what is wrong with your country.
        

Thank you I never thought you would call me narrow minded

I never think bad about the whole country by some lacks of it, the same thing I do not think Ukraine bad cos of its scammers and other things,  in every country they got mafia and other stuff , so relax really:)

I already understood this is a Anti -russian forum , it is even funny to me , how all of you old guys and women are making scandals and attacking people who think different:) shame on you ))))))))

[Jazzyclassy]

     Just out of curiosity may I ask how old you are Jazzy.   I noticed you said your wanted to to be mentally attracted to your "boy".  I had sort of guess before that you were fairly young     

ooo am not denying when I will be old I will die or will be occupied more with my family  and wont have time for empty talks in the anti russian forums !hahah

My age is pointed out in my profile, and what is wrong with being young?  actually age has nothing to do with my personality , I think if I change it will  be a slight change for the better, but am not the sort of person who is licking the ass of people just to survive  in this or that society or little group of people ,maybe it is bad that it is hard for me to adopt , but I usually try not to communicate with those people who make me sick and who irritate and shake my  morals and  values!

better be true  to your heart and to your personal I inside , than to be good to everybody lying to yourself- it's a sin

[Mir]

JC

Strange why you feel it is an anti-Russian forum.
All of us criticize what we think is wrong.So people in England criticize the stupid things done by Tony Blair or the wrongs of British society but that does not make them anti-English.

Yes organized crime is in every country.Yet only Russian mafia has an international presence.It is active in many countries of the world,do you deny this?Do you say it is just properganda by anti-Russians?

[Jazzyclassy]

      Do you say it is just properganda by anti-Russians?

   

of course it is ! absolutely

I am sorry are you blind take a look on other nation am afraid to call it here- who knows , then will blame me for some discrimination, how about all the nations discriminate russians and everybody is ok with it..... , this nation rules the world and do all how it thinks is right, in only one USA this nation dominates and in their own land there are few of them left, there are  tons of them in the Uk, in Russia in Ukraine in USA in europe , They  are in the air everywhere I look around!

and you are saying something about russian mafia, russian mafia is nothing in comparison with Their mafia , for example in Moscow if you switch on telly you wont be able to find russian face there cos they hire only them to work for Mass media

so where is mafia I wonder?

[Jazzyclassy]

Though remember it is a topic about age difference

I do not know if it is cultural variation or not

but my answer is -am against age difference it should be minimum:) and no matter who I am by my culture I am the child of this world

[Turboguy]

I really don't think it is an Anti Russian forum Jazzy.   I have to say I don't like the Russian Mafia at all and as far as the Russian Government I think they have done some good things and some not so good things but they have made a lot of progress at solving some of the problems that Russia had but as far as the Russian people I think they are wonderful.   They have many great qualities.   We may poke fun at some of the differences in culture but we do it knowing that a Russian would poke as much fun at the differences in our culture.

Back on topic you may find your ideas change as you go through life.   My ideas now are far different than when I was your age.   We are happy to have you express your ideas but not everyone may agree with them just as you disagree with some of our ideas.  Age is a personal choice.

[Muj]

Age was not a first priority for my wife and I meeting.  No one brain washed her or myself into marrying over a certain age difference.  We remain happy in our choices.

[Mir]

JC

Who said that it is OK to discriminate against Russians?

And can you be more specific when you say discriminate? What do you mean?

[wiz]

of course it is ! absolutely

Jazzzy

What politics has to do with the current post and this forum?

No I do not think this site is Anti-Russian and my views about American foreign Policy are well known here!

Read the Name and heading of this site please!

[Kuna]

mir,

You should stop picking on those Russians... They can't help it if they have so many beautiful women that captivate our imagination and give us hope of finding a wonderful partner to share our lives with...

They have those damn accents that drive us crazy and their attitudes that are so refreshing after labouring with the women at home for so long!

Yeah man... give them a break!  They can't help it!  

Kuna

[Mir]

Kuna

Me and JC are just having an intellectual discussion.

[Mir]

And by the way you just visited Ukraine and not Russia