Age difference and country where wife is from.

[Turboguy]

I have noticed on VJ that quite often the few AW who are marrying RM are marrying RM who are 20 years younger or so.  It seems to work both ways.

[BC]

Smartcat, unfortunately, it is a poll for guys.

Yea right.. and half of them couldn't get it right either.

 

[smartcat]

Smartcat, unfortunately, it is a poll for guys. 

    Oh, I understand, so if I am, from FSU, let say, married an American who is younger than I am, I am disfranchised to vote as a representative of a family?    What about other ladies from international marriages who post here?

I am so sorry, I understand that perhaps I am asking for too much, and get to men's games...but at least not to such private extend as insisting to use gentlemen's WC!

[lindochka]

[Tiresome comments labeling AW as bitches deleted as not worthy of response...] 

Linda - "I did not vote because I am not married yet."  Sorry I missed that in your initial post and welcome to the board.  Yet, you talk as if you are married?  Why even chyme in at all?  I believe all you want to do is obscure the poll.

If I wanted to "obscure the poll" I would have voted in it, like some of the male posters in this thread stated they did. Why didn't you attack those male posters who stated that they voted when they are not yet married?

Why do I talk as if I'm married? Because -- like some of the male posters here have stated about their own relationships, we feel as though we are. I've known my future husband for close to seven years and we've been a couple for more than two of those years. Registering our marriage is a formality.

Why don't you do something positive and help men seeking wives from Belarus.

You know, when I first visited and joined Russian bride boards, groups, and lists several years ago, it was on behalf of a cousin who was interested in finding an AM. (Tanya knew nothing about the internet and asked for my help.) Anyone reading some of the posts here and at other similar sites can imagine what I encountered back then. It's a pity so little has changed.

Let us know some information about Belarus. Let us know the best restaurants, best hotels, best guides and why they are the best.

I've never stayed in a hotel in Belarus -- my folks would die before they allowed that! Restaurants? My little cousins enjoyed the McDonald's in Minsk and I thought the food there was of much better quality than in American McDonald's. The only other restaurant I've been to is the one in the small town where my folks live. That's where we have wedding receptions and funeral luncheons, and where I host a party for all the cousins of my generation whenever I'm in town. (It's a great excuse for us to dude up and bop till we drop.)

Let us know how you fly there, your experience with customs, how you navigate the transit system, how you obtain flats.

Flights: JFK to Warsaw (via Lot) or other Central European hub (i.e. Vienna via Austrian Air) and change planes for Minsk. Customs? Look tired, smile a lot, bat eyelashes. Transit system? My guy and my male relatives are my transit system. Flats? I do home stays with the folks.

Frankly, I could probably be a little more help with travel in Ukraine, since that's where my guy and I go for Quality Time. (We don't know anyone there except each other.)

We are a board which helps out guys looking for their better half in the FSU.  Its nice that you found a Belarusian man with two children and you are enjoying the relationship.  If you can not bring any more information to the table than you found a guy who is into you that is a few years younger than you from the FSU, what is the purpose of your visit to this board?

Bruce, my posts to this thread were not my first to this board. I've shared some information and also found some information. Aside from my not possessing a Y chromosome, I'm an American who is involved with an Eastern European and who has traveled in Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus.

Of course there are plenty of good men in the FSU.  My N of three is just that an N of three - better then your N of one, which never made it the USA and is not even married.

My N of one is my own life. I didn't specify how many AW I know who are married to/involved with FSU men. (Hint: it's more than your N of three.)

Let us know when you are really married, for how long, when you make it Stateside and how you obtained passage for your Belarussian [sic] man and his family.  We would be happy to hear the trials and tribulations of your K-3 visa process.

Well, we did plan to marry this spring and do DCF (not K-3), but now that DCF is off the table...

Ukraine / Russia - the majority of western guys are marrying women eleven years or greater younger.  That is the poll of the board.  Gals, sorry strong American men have the smarts, guts and gusto to go out and find the best wife for them.  The world is a big place and successful men meet, marry and have happy marriages with younger women from the FSU.  Sorry to break all your bubbles gals.  Now, go do something about yourself then crying us a river and manipulating the system to make things difficult for men.

I don't recall resorting to personal abuse of you (or American men in general) to make a point. In fact, you won't find a post by me at this board or anywhere else that is even slightly critical of American men who choose to marry women from other countries/cultures.

I didn't choose my partner on the basis of his nationality/ethnicity -- I was just in the right place at the right time to meet the right one for me. It just happens that he's the one with whom I feel at home and I presume that the men here feel the same way about their wives/fiancees, regardless of how they met.

Strong men, regardless of nationality, do not need to attack women in order to make themselves appear "strong."

[Turboguy]

Personally I think if you try to cover too much ground in one shot you obscure the meaning of a poll. 

If the numbers involved were sufficient the best thing is to start a poll for women.  I am sure had the creator of the poll felt there was a significant sampling there would have been separate questions for the men and the women.

[catzenmouse]

lindochka,

 I believe that you bring another unique perspective to this board and am happy to have you here. Don't be turned off by negative posts or posters. It will be interesting to hear about how your processing goes forward.

Ken

[BC]

Looking over the past few posts I think a very important point is being missed.

There are a lot of 'angles' to this quest and every perspective however remote should be explored.

Take myself as an example:

I did not look for a RW,
I was not interested in MOB,
I'm certainly not looking for a wife,
I did not get scammed,
I do not run, or am associated with agencies and the like,
I did not experience immigration difficulties.

So what am I doing here? Should I be declared persona non grata or have limited posting privileges?

I enjoy participating in this little world and try to put forth objective thoughts and a little experience from the 'fringe'.

I also know that closed societies have a tendency to feed on themselves and ultimately perish.  I think most if not all would agree that RWD should not perish. 

Really thinking about it and looking at other members (and there are quite a few) who are in similar shoes as mine, one might find it is essential that RWD does not remove the welcome mat to anyone that wishes to enter.

Consider RW and even AW that participate here as 'spice' on a rather bland fare. 

[Bruce]

Hey, thanks for the information linda.  As Turboguy said above, polls are difficult to construct.  Feel free to make your own poll if you feel offended.  There have been plenty of polls that do not apply to me that I never voted in.  No need to complain and suly the thread.  Go start your own thead.  You can be darn sure I will not complain about it or post on it if it has no application to my situation  .  Yes, I am such a weak man, I might just melt away  when water is thrown on me...........................................Feel better now?

Maybe its time you start lobbying the congress about your difficulties getting your future spouse and his family into the USA.  The more women pressuring congress the greater chance of the BCINS not unduly hassling Americans who bring back foreign spouses.  The men are automatically tinged with MOB and thought of negatively.

BC, agree - though the vast majority of women who are not from the FSU and not married to a Western man are either trolling for business, or outright trolls solely looking to stir the proverbial pot.  The exceptions tend to be the FSU girls looking for a Western man (good place for them to look by the way) and an occasional do gooder.

[BC]

BC, agree - though the vast majority of women who are not from the FSU and not married to a Western man are either trolling for business, or outright trolls solely looking to stir the proverbial pot.  The exceptions tend to be the FSU girls looking for a Western man (good place for them to look by the way) and an occasional do gooder.

I don't mind my martini being stirred. 

One thing to remember is that RW whether they look for AM or not, are 'R' first and foremost.

My wife being an 'R', can and does exhibit some of the 'style' being referred to in this thread.  I remember MANY seemingly heated 'arguments' over the kitchen table in RU and found them quite similar to the loud discussions here in IT..  They rarely are THAT serious.  My thoughts are that such 'provoking' discussions are a form of entertainment..  Sort of like discussing politics at the local watering hole.

Maybe some of the other married guys can identify with my thoughts.

[lindochka]

Hey, thanks for the information linda.  As Turboguy said above, polls are difficult to construct.  Feel free to make your own poll if you feel offended.  There have been plenty of polls that do not apply to me that I never voted in.  No need to complain and suly the thread.  Go start your own thead.  You can be darn sure I will not complain about it or post on it if it has no application to my situation  .  Yes, I am such a weak man, I might just melt away  when water is thrown on me...........................................Feel better now?

I didn't vote in the poll precisely because it was geared to men and I stated above that I didn't vote in it. Nor did I complain about the poll or the thread.

I merely posted in this thread a view on the subject of age difference from a different angle. You took that as a cue to insult me, my fiance and his children, and my Belarusian relatives and friends. (I read your post before it was edited by a mod.)

If my mere participation in your thread is understood by you as an attempt to "suly" [sic] it, maybe you aren't the tough guy you'd like everyone to think you are. And how did you know I own a pair of ruby slippers? 

Maybe its time you start lobbying the congress about your difficulties getting your future spouse and his family into the USA.  The more women pressuring congress the greater chance of the BCINS not unduly hassling Americans who bring back foreign spouses.  The men are automatically tinged with MOB and thought of negatively.

Well, if we were planning to be together in the USA any time soon and I wanted to bring them on K visas I might well consider lobbying. I find the hurdles of IMBRA just as irritating as any man would -- plenty of discussion of that by both men and women at places like VisaJourney.com. OTOH, having worked with victims of human trafficking (most recently a 16 year old girl forced into prostitution and made to service some 40 "clients" daily right here in the US), I'm not sure we don't need some sort of legislation to protect real innocents.

But as noted in a prior post in this thread, my more immediate plans are to be in school in Eastern Europe so we'll start our family life there. We originally thought to marry in Europe and then do DCF, but now that DCF has been eliminated worldwide I expect we'll have our share of related headaches at such time as we plan to relocate to the US.

BC, agree - though the vast majority of women who are not from the FSU and not married to a Western man are either trolling for business, or outright trolls solely looking to stir the proverbial pot.  The exceptions tend to be the FSU girls looking for a Western man (good place for them to look by the way) and an occasional do gooder.

No business to promote, no pots to stir (except in your imagination). I originally joined boards such as this in an effort to help one of my FSU female cousins find a nice American guy, long before I found myself a nice FSU guy. I guess by your standards that makes me a "do gooder."