Second meeting..more questions..

[Tarzan]

Hello.

Jus back from my second meeting. Just like you guys said it was more informative than the first. It was very good this time also and I got to meet her daughter. Within short time I was her new favourite.. About the woman I have found, she does come from very wealthy background. Do you consider this good or bad??  Personally I think that it is smaller chance that she would only be after my money and/or to stay in my country. And I told her I am not rich.. Anyone here have experience with the fiancé visa/ Family visa situation in Norway??
And how long time do people take before marriage?? She told me that in Russia people tend to marry after quite short time. Is this true or should I consider this a red flag? For me it also seems she may have different priorities/parameters about choosing a husband than western woman have. Is this normal? Take also in to consideration that she is the “artistic” type and dresses different from other woman I have seen in Russia. Everybody will look at her in the street especially the women…


Thanks,

Tarzan.

[Wayne B]

Tarzan, Thor may be able to help you?

[Lily]

  About the woman I have found, she does come from very wealthy background. Do you consider this good or bad??  Personally I think that it is smaller chance that she would only be after my money and/or to stay in my country. And I told her I am not rich.. 
 

IMHO this is rather good than bad. In case this is not a nouveaux-riche family and they used to have a high standard living for decades, it may tell me that the girl may have received a premium upbringing, have had many opportunities to develop her skills as a kid, best teachers and instructors, have friends of same level, and probably she has a general attitude like many people in the Western countries.
also I share your own conclusion about this.

By the way, did she told you this, or did you observe their living by yourself? the criteria for being rich/wealthy may vary...

[Elen]

For me it also seems she may have different priorities/parameters about choosing a husband than western woman have. Is this normal?

I'm curiouse how do you see those priorities/ parameters about choosing husband What's difference to western standarts and attitudes? 

[Tarzan]

Hi,

About her upbringing i know only what she told me but i have no reason to doubt what she say. She is highly educated in different directions and has diplomas for this. She says that she did not have childhood and was always high expectations for her. She also told me she did not have to work is she did not want to. But she is very hard working and she always talks about how she wants to do her share when we will be together.

About the parameters that is important for her it seems that things like, I am the same age as her is very important and other things that seem to be more of coincidence rather than qualities of me. Her English is not great but I have no trouble understanding her but she still may have some trouble with her explaining how she feel. She seems to be very practical about what she like and I do not know exactly how to feel about this. Here it seems all has to do with personal qualities and what you can give, but with her she seems to appreciate many things that are “out of my hands”

Anyway, She was quite quick to pronounce her love to me but I do believe her. Is this normal for Russian girls? For me too at 32 I do know much sooner if a person is what I want than I did 10 years ago so it may be normal..?

Thanks,

Tarzan.

[Wayne B]

Tarzan, think about this....Love? or Lust?  You have to deside between the two..... She has to deside between the two....  Your heart will give you an answer....not your mind or your little mind.....

[Zmejka]

And how long time do people take before marriage?? She told me that in Russia people tend to marry after quite short time. Is this true or should I consider this a red flag?

While it can be partly true it could be a litle trick from her side to give you a signal - think quickly or there could be no more chances for you
You can say to her that untill you don't want your marriage to fall apart as quickly as the desicion about it was made you need a bit more time to establish long and trusted relationship. If she wants the same - she'll understand you. And will benefit from taking her time too - like will learn the language more, obtain her driver license (if needed) etc.

[PeeWee]

IMHO this is rather good than bad. In case this is not a nouveaux-riche family and they used to have a high standard living for decades, it may tell me that the girl may have received a premium upbringing, have had many opportunities to develop her skills as a kid, best teachers and instructors, have friends of same level, and probably she has a general attitude like many people in the Western countries.
also I share your own conclusion about this.

By the way, did she told you this, or did you observe their living by yourself? the criteria for being rich/wealthy may vary...

I was thinking along this line. I had dated a well above average income Moscow lady for 3 years. She was higher maintainance and seemed to demand more than others. But that may just have been her personality. I would think that if you feel that you are not to her level then maybe that is the only problem that you would have. And, yes, Russians do seem to get into marriage sooner than others do. The divorce rate is high in Russia. And so is it in the USA.

Peewee

[Gator]

If she indeed has wealth, such women rarely date outside their group of Russian peers.   And it is unlikely she would have been listed with a marriage agency. 

How did you meet?  Why does she wish to give up her Russian life and move to Norway to live a secure but not wealthy life (other than you being a very special man)?  You must be a special man.

Having a child does make her less desirable to many Russian men, yet she will still have plenty of choices. 

[Lily]

If she indeed has wealth, such women rarely date outside their group of Russian peers.   

Why do you think so? Her Russian peers are rather limited in quantity...Most probably she is well travelled, speaks languages and often goes abroad. Agree with you that she wouldn't need any agency, and is perfectly able to network by herself.

I think that in such cases we have women who has some other but economic reasons. Her wealth can not compensate her for lack of love. 

[Gator]

Lily,

You are Russian so I must defer to your opinion. However, surely there a few nice men available.  I have observed at some resorts Russian men with obvious money.   Many of them happily spent time with their children.   Although these men were married, it did counter the agency myth that RM are bad "family men".     

I have heard from my ex-fiancee, who participated in the Moscow dating scene, that RM prefer women under 30 and without children.  Tarzan's woman is 32 and has a child.

We still do not know the degree of wealth enjoyed by Tarzan's woman.  Being 32, she was a teenager during the final Soviet days.  I met a few women who were daughters of high ranking Soviet officials.  They had “money” in the form of numerous privileges.  They went to the best schools as Tarzan said.   One family even had a BMW automobile, and still have the clunker today. 

Most important, such families were assigned a magnificent apartment and dacha.   The real estate eventually became their property.  Many sold the property at the bottom of the market, and others kept them and today they are valuable. 

That is one explanation for her wealth.   Such wealth is on paper and does not necessarily yield a high cash flow unless they rent apartments, etc.  There are many other explanations because money could be made in the 1990s, legally and illegally, and perhaps her family did fine.

[Thor]

Hello.

Jus back from my second meeting. Just like you guys said it was more informative than the first. It was very good this time also and I got to meet her daughter. Within short time I was her new favourite.. About the woman I have found, she does come from very wealthy background. Do you consider this good or bad??  Personally I think that it is smaller chance that she would only be after my money and/or to stay in my country. And I told her I am not rich.. Anyone here have experience with the fiancé visa/ Family visa situation in Norway??
And how long time do people take before marriage?? She told me that in Russia people tend to marry after quite short time. Is this true or should I consider this a red flag? For me it also seems she may have different priorities/parameters about choosing a husband than western woman have. Is this normal? Take also in to consideration that she is the “artistic” type and dresses different from other woman I have seen in Russia. Everybody will look at her in the street especially the women…


Thanks,

Tarzan.

Hi Tarzan,

Are you from Norway??? jeg er Norsk skjønner du. Du kan sende meg en PM hvis du vil...Jeg er gift med ei Ukrainsk jente.

[Thor]

Tarzan, Thor may be able to help you?

Yes I know everything about the visa situation in Norway

[PeeWee]

Why do you think so? Her Russian peers are rather limited in quantity...Most probably she is well travelled, speaks languages and often goes abroad. Agree with you that she wouldn't need any agency, and is perfectly able to network by herself.

I think that in such cases we have women who has some other but economic reasons. Her wealth can not compensate her for lack of love. 

Again I agree. Again, I had dated a well to do Moscow woman, she kept 10K in cash in her apartment at all times, had a car, two garages, a flat, and spoke three languages, traveled abroad monthly, and had for years, including the US often. In fact the first time that I met her was in my city. Her money came from two sources. A rich former Russian husband and her well paying job. Yet, she did not want anything to do with Eastern European men and seemed to prefer American men above all other. That was her. She was/is unique to be sure but as Lily said, her money cannot compensate for her lack of love. With women, love is usually numero uno. Ichi ban. And so on and so forth.

Peewee

[DKMM]

I can vouch for what PeeWee said in my own case.   Wealthy (relatively) FSU women have their advantages such as Lily mentioned.  But they are also used to a higher standard of living.  In my case, the girl was also very beautiful so in her inner circle it was normal to be doted on quite excessively by guys.  It was fun but by no means could or would I take that challenge on for a lifetime of providing her needs AND wants.

[Lily]

  In my case, the girl was also very beautiful so in her inner circle it was normal to be doted on quite excessively by guys.  

]

Not necessarily so, unless there are proofs of a contrary, or if the girl says that it was.

[Globetrotter]

Tarz, money in her family is not a bad thing.  Mine has a family with no "survival" problems...all have nice houses, cars, and good paying  jobs.  And yes, Russian men can and do ask to marry early in a relationship, sometimes after only a few dates.  The previous Russian and Ukrainian girls I had relationships with told me this.

Your "gauge" as to how quickly to move might be...is she or can she be my best friend?  Your head and heart should tell you when it's right.  Good luck, have fun, and take your time.

[DKMM]

Lily,

Yes the girl says that is was this way.  She used the words normal usual and always when descibing men who tried to buy their way to her heart and offered marriage within a few meetings.  As it turns out, all have failed.  I was almost another one of those failed guys but I never quite fell for her and she is still my good friend.

[Tarzan]

Sorry for taking so long to write..

I met her thru freerussianpersonals. She said that a friend had put her there. Most of her friends are out of Russia already. About her money situation it does not seem like she has much cash at all times.. And I do not think her parents hand her money easily either. So it could be that there is money invested in something. I do not think so much about it really.. I will be to spend 14 days with her soon travelling around Europe and in my home. If everything still is good I will ask her the big question. There will always be some risk involved but I am ready for that and I am not easily fooled either. And weather I am special or not I would of course want to be special for her like she is to me. I know that she was in contact with very many and she told me that she did specifically not like Americans. Big advantage for me..

Thor: Jeg sender deg en pm.. Snakkes..


Tarzan.

[Lily]

I'd ask her 2 questions:
- why she wouldn't put her profile by herself, and
- how does she feel about that a friend made such an intimate move for her.

my idea would that women at her level should be more independent from friends' advice and opinions.

[Tarzan]

About your questions I can answer what I know so far:

I do not think she was really searching for someone when her friend starting making suggestions about internet profiles. All friends she had now live in USA and European countries.

Her friend put her on the net with her permission. I know for sure that it was her friend that helped her with the first letter and she went herself from there. In some areas she may seem a little helpless I guess..

Still I know that it took a lot of effort for her to write to me in the beginnings. Many of the letters she sent was from 3-4 o`clock in the morning. With small child and much work it was all the time she had. She does not seem like a computer expert either…



Tarzan.

[groovlstk]

So it could be that there is money invested in something.

Apropos of nothing, in general it's very rare to find Russian people who have investments (and I don't mean investments like a 2nd or 3rd home or dacha), and those that do are billionaire-class oligarchs with financial holdings outside the country (to protect themselves in the event that one day they may find themselves at odds politically and need to take refuge elsewhere).

[PeeWee]

I have several Russian friends who exchange their excess rubles for euros. I don't think they do this for speculation but rather that they trust the stability of the euro more than they do their own currency.

Peewee